


Your Biggest Fan

by huevoplatano



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, Dubious Consent, Forced Orgasm, Frottage, Jealousy, M/M, Obsession, Obsessive Behavior, Pining, Possessive Behavior, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sibling Incest, Somnophilia, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-02-25 06:09:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 25
Words: 228,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21811342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huevoplatano/pseuds/huevoplatano
Summary: Leon has taken Hop's admiration toward him for granted, and now that Hop has a crush on his neighbor, Leon doesn’t know how to deal with it.
Relationships: Dande | Leon/Hop
Comments: 688
Kudos: 761





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i'm not going to pretend i know anything about the uk, so i apologize if the text is off or certain words don't sound right. i just really wanted to write smth gross lol

It was just before noon when Leon opened his eyes that day. Never was he usually the late sleeper type, but just being in his childhood bedroom, curled up under the familiar covers, his snapback collection greeting him when he first opened his eyes, and well—it was easy to get as comfortable as he was. Rolling over to the side, he tried to will the energy to crawl out of bed, but at the same time, he didn’t want to. It had been too long since he’d been this cozy, and he wanted to revel in it for as long as possible. 

“Lee?” 

However, it appeared today wasn’t going to be the day he got to be lazy. At the sound of his little brother’s voice coming from behind his cracked bedroom door, Leon willed himself to sit up in bed, his long hair a mess of tangles as he sat upright. He noticed the little smile his brother gave him, probably at the sight of his hair, as he poked his head in through the door. 

“Isn’t it polite to knock first?” Leon’s voice was raspy and low from sleep, but the light-heartedness could still be heard. He wasn’t actually annoyed with Hop, as he was already awake to be fair. 

“Sorry, but Mum told me to come fetch you. She said, ‘I know Lee has been working hard, but that’s hardly good reason to sleep past lunchtime’.” He gave a false high-pitched voice as he relayed what their mother had said, and Leon couldn’t help but snort a laugh. With a shrug, Hop opened the door until it creaked, scraping across the carpeted floor as he did so. “She wants us all to eat together. You’re so rarely at home these days, Lee.” 

Leon nodded. “Yeah, I know.” In all honesty, he should have felt bad for trying to sleep in late like this, but being so comfortable was a rare treat these days, and he couldn’t help but indulge himself. Standing from bed, he stretched up, brushing against his ceiling with the tips of his fingers and noticed Hop gawking at him, still standing in the doorway. His expression gave way to the fact he wanted to tell him something, but seemed to be at war with himself whether or not to do so. 

Finally, he mumbled a small, “Um--” before cutting himself off.

“Something on your mind?” As he spoke, Leon grabbed a nearby hairbrush from his desk and set to work combing the mess that was his hair. 

Almost immediately, Hop bit his bottom lip, but Leon couldn’t help but notice the redness in his cheeks, and the moment he turned to face his brother, Hop quickly cut himself off from whatever it was he had to say. “No, sorry.” Not giving Leon a chance to press him further, he shot his older brother a toothy grin before backing out of his bedroom. “See you at lunch!” And just like that, Hop disappeared around the corner and down the stairs. 

Curious, Leon continued grooming himself for a short while so that he didn’t turn up at the table looking like a bird had flown into his hair and made a nest. The way his brother blushed like that, he knew he had something important to tell him, but whether he was embarrassed by it, or what, Leon didn’t know. Pressing him wasn’t going to yield much results, as he knew if Hop had a problem, it was best to wait for him to decide whether or not he would tell him. 

He couldn’t help but laugh through his nose. Hop was always such a kid, always used to come to him when he had problems, which Leon was all too eager to help him. He wasn’t going to lie that he always loved how his brother doted on him, even after leaving home and becoming the champion, he knew Hop looked up at him as if he was the sun and moon itself. That prideful part of him couldn’t help but beam every time he saw how Hop’s face lit up, a smile so easily spread, and how he would tell Leon he wanted to be _just like him_ when he grew up. It might’ve felt weird to others just how much Hop looked up to him, but Leon always considered his brother his biggest fan, and damn, did he revel in it. 

All the praise in the world didn’t compare to the way Hop looked at him, eyes struck with absolute _adoration_. Even their mum thought it was so precious how much Hop looked up to him, and Leon couldn’t blame her. He thought it was adorable as well. Even after losing his title to Gloria, something Leon himself never saw coming, his brother never lost that sparkle in his eye every time Leon came back home to visit, or the excitement in his voice every time Leon picked up the phone to chat with him. 

Having as big a fan as his own brother made him feel prideful, even after no longer being the champion. It wasn’t as if he’d lost any respect among trainers, as people still considered him to be incredibly talented and strong, even if he no longer held the title. No longer being champion just meant he could spare a little more time for his family nowadays, something he wasn’t as lucky to do back then. 

With his hair finally acceptable enough, Leon quickly pulled on a white t-shirt, not bothering to change out of his boxers since he _was_ home after all, and quickly made his way downstairs. The smell of food wafted into his nose and made him realize how hungry he was as he could already feel his mouth watering from the smell alone. Hop sat at the table and turned to wave to him, and Leon couldn’t help but snort again and felt compelled to tell Hop he did, in fact, know where the supper table was, but he settled for shooting his brother a smile and seating down next to him instead. 

“Mum made pancakes!” Hop was already digging into his food, a little too excitedly, but Leon soon joined in, filling his plate and soon, the table was full of lively conversation and catching up as Mum asked him about this and that. 

As he cleaned his plate, Hop began doing that nervous shifting he’d been doing in Leon’s room earlier that morning and he looked over to see his brother’s gaze focused on his empty plate, but with a small blush coating his cheeks. This time, before Leon could ask him what the matter was, Mum spoke up first. “What’s wrong, dear? Belly bothering you?”

“Oh, no, I um—” It was a little unusual to see Hop so flustered like this and Leon couldn’t help but tease him about it. 

“Go on then, out with it. Do you have a girlfriend or something?” It was meant as a joke, just to tease him, but when Leon saw Hop’s shoulders bunch up so far, his face turned almost all the way red, and Leon almost choked on his food at the reaction. 

“Wait, you have a girlfriend?” Now Mum sounded excited and clapped her hands.

Hop, face still red and shoulders bunched up as if he wished he could hide his face if he sank down far enough, spat out, “N-no, she’s not! I-I mean—she’s not my girlfriend at all!”

Who was this _she_ , then? Leon wasn’t sure what to do with this new information, as he immediately thought Hop was way too young to be having a girlfriend, but then he remembered in the back of his mind that Hop _was_ fourteen. He was going to be start thinking about girls or whatever and developing crushes. Hell, when did his baby brother grow up so fast? Leon wasn’t sure whether to feel happy for him, tease him, or— He bit his lip, not sure if he himself understood this strange feeling dipping down into his stomach, the prominent feeling of nausea for some reason. He felt…

Mum’s voice brought him out of his thoughts. “Who is it, dear? Is it that nice girl from next door?” 

Hop’s face got, if possible, an even deeper shade of red. Jackpot.

“Oh honey, don’t be embarrassed. I always knew you liked her.”

Mum knew? Leon perked up, no longer focused on eating, but the back and forth going on between his brother and mother. When in the world did this start happening? Yeah, Leon had met Gloria plenty of times before, and even lost his title to her, but— when in the world did Hop ever look at her like that? Maybe Leon was the idiot then, for never noticing, but. He swallowed, a lump forming in his throat. Why did he feel ill all of a sudden? This should have been something good, something for him to get excited about. After all, his baby brother had feelings for someone, and that was a great thing. 

But. 

Leon felt empty. If he was being perfectly honest, this revelation only made him want to throw up, but he was struggling to understand exactly why this news was making him feel so terrible. It was a good thing. His little brother was growing up, experiencing some feelings for someone. It was an innocent crush. 

Right?

“I-I didn’t always like her!” Now Hop was getting heated and defensive, as if too embarrassed to admit he had outed himself the way he did. So that’s why he was so worked up in Leon’s room earlier. He wanted to tell him about the crush, but now that he was being teased for it, he started receding back on the defense. “I-I just—” He was struggling to come up with the right words, and despite Mum giggling and having a wide smile at the whole ordeal, Leon only sank in his chair, no longer hungry. “I w-was gonna—I was just thinking of doing something nice for her, you know? Not because I like her, but to congratulate her on being champion.” His red cheeks betrayed his true intentions. “Or something, you know?”

At that, Mum stood from her chair, beaming as she made her way over to Hop and trapped him in a tight hug, one that made Hop gasp for air and struggle to push his mother away. “My little baby is growing up! Oh Hop, you don’t need to be ashamed for having a crush on that girl. It’s so sweet!” 

“ _Muuuum_ …” Hop avoided eye contact with Leon as he was crushed by his mother’s loving embrace, but Leon didn’t know if he could handle looking at him anyway. “It’s not a crush! We’re just friends!” 

Just friends. 

_Just_. Friends.

Right. 

If Leon had actually opened his mouth and said that, it would’ve come out as the most sarcastic, irritated sound he had ever mustered, and he stopped himself as his mouth hovered open to say something like that. What in the world was wrong with him? Why wasn’t he happy? Why wasn’t he standing from his chair like Mum had done, teasing his brother and messing up his hair as he gave him a hard time about _liking a girl_? 

The longer he sat there, listening to his mother croon on and on about how cute it was, Leon couldn’t take it anymore and abruptly stood from his chair, almost knocking it back over. At the noise, both his brother and Mum whipped around to stare at him, and realizing what he’d just done, he fumbled for a moment for a good excuse. 

“S-sorry. Not feeling so great.” Without waiting for a response, Leon turned and climbed the stairs as fast as he could before he shut himself up in the bathroom. One look at his reflection in the mirror, and that horrible feeling welled up in his stomach again. 

He looked as if Hop had just told him his favorite Pokémon died, and not that he had feelings for his little neighbor friend. Most of the color had drained from Leon’s face and he looked as if he was about to throw up any second. What in the hell was wrong with him? He should have been beaming. He should have been happy, elated, joyful and joined in on the teasing like he was so prone to do in the past. 

Not. 

Not holed up in the bathroom, ready to expel the contents of his breakfast at any given moment. Not breathing hard as he desperately washed his face with cold water to make that horrible feeling go away. Not—

Jealous? 

His heart felt like it was just punched, and Leon almost fell over as he leaned back against the wall, no longer able to take looking at himself in the mirror. Jealous? Him? Of his brother? No, no, no, he wasn’t jealous. It only felt like someone kicked him in the stomach and was strangling him at the same time, but he wasn’t jealous. 

…Right? 

No matter how many times he said so to himself, there was a tiny voice echoing in the back of his mind, mocking him, berating him, telling him what an idiot he was to think Hop would always look at him the way he did, always look up to him like Leon was his entire world, like life had no other meaning than being _just like his older brother_. 

Leon gripped a handful of his own hair and held his breath when he realized just how much he actually took Hop’s adoration for granted. He loved it when his brother smiled up at him, looked up to him, used to ask him for advice, took everything—absolutely everything he said to heart, and damn did Leon love that. He loved how much Hop took his every word so seriously, how his face lit up like the sun every time Leon so much as walked into the room, how he—

How he had a crush on that girl. Someone other than Leon was about to become the center of Hop’s world, and he—he swallowed. A thought flashed through his mind, wondering if the only reason Hop ever looked up to him was because he was the champion. That obviously wasn’t the case anymore, as Gloria had taken the title from him. 

She was the new champion. She was the one Hop was going to start looking up to, chasing after, beaming at, wishing he was just like her. 

Leon’s heart thumped, sounding so loud in that moment it was deafening. The image of Hop slowly losing interest in him and chasing after someone else was heart breaking for some reason. Leon always thought his little brother would think he was the entire world for the longest time—he would always be his biggest fan. When did Leon get so caught up in what Hop thought of him? Having it splayed out in front of him like this, the thought of losing his brother to a girl, he didn’t know what to do. 

He was breathing hard, still leaning against the wall as he fought his hardest to compose himself. It was so stupid getting worked up over something like that, but he couldn’t help it. Hop had spent so much of his life where his world revolved around Leon, that having that threatened made him feel—

He felt—

He swallowed, feeling hot all of a sudden. He felt afraid. No—he was scared to death of losing his brother. Of him growing up, leaving with Gloria, chasing after her to wherever in the hell she decided to go, and no longer thinking Leon was worth his time. He would grow up, realize what a piece of trash Leon really was, losing his title to a little girl like that, and abandon him. 

Leon would be left alone, if Hop did that. That thought freaked him out more than anything and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out _why_. Why did the thought of his brother no longer looking up to him freak him out this bad? Why did the thought of Hop chasing after girls and leaving him freak him out? 

Clutching the edge of the sink, Leon once more splashed cold water on his face, trying to calm down and think rationally about this. This was fine. It was normal. Hop was a teenager after all, he was growing up, experiencing new things, and that included having feelings for other people. It was natural, normal for a young boy to start developing crushes on people when he became a teenager, and soon he’d—

Leon swallowed, the lump having never gone away. Yeah, it was normal. All of this was normal and he should have been over the moon that Hop was growing up like this. 

But, he couldn’t help that small piece of him that felt heartbroken about it. 

A small knock came at the bathroom door, and he was jolted from his thoughts, the feeling of nausea rearing its ugly head back up. “Lee?” It was Hop, and Leon didn’t know if he could handle hearing his voice right now, let alone see him. “Are you alright?”

No, holy hell he was not alright, but he didn’t know how he could explain what was wrong to him, as he still didn’t understand it himself. There was no way he could ever sit down and try and explain why the hell he was reacting this way to that news. 

So, he lied. “Sorry. Got a little sick there.” 

“Did Mum’s pancakes mess you up? You’re not getting a virus, are you?” He jiggled the door handle and Leon felt his stomach dip down, but relieved when he realized he had locked it. He wouldn’t have to see him, face him, and try and explain himself. 

“Y-yeah, must be a stomach bug or something. Don’t worry about it.” He sucked so hard at trying to cover himself up, but it was the best Leon could do right now. 

“Alright, I’ll leave you alone then. Try and get some rest if you can.” Then, almost as if it were an afterthought, Hop added, “I’m going to Gloria’s house for a while.”

Leon didn’t mean to get worked up like he did. He wasn’t even thinking when he found himself reaching for the door, undoing the lock, and wrenching the damn thing open with so much force that it bounced back into the wall, startling the hell out of Hop who stood there with a look of surprise on his face. 

Before he could stop himself, Leon had gripped hold of Hop’s shoulders and drew him in close. “Wait!” Then his own face heated up when he realized what he was doing. The look on Hop’s face snapped him back to reality and he quickly let go of his brother, standing back up straight and fumbling with his words. What in the hell was that? How did he explain _that_ one? “I-I mean—it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. I wanted to hang out with my little brother for a while.”

“But, Lee, you’re not feeling well. You’re only going to feel worse if we go do something.”

Oh shit, he’d already forgotten he’d dug _that_ hole just now. Quickly, he fumbled for something to say like he’d made a miraculous recovery, everything was fine, or something to that effect. “I-it’s probably nothing. In fact, just being near you has given me more energy.”

Hop snorted and rolled his eyes, but Leon couldn’t help but smile back when his brother’s face softened into a gentle smile. “Still, you’re home so rarely. I don’t want you pushing yourself just for my sake.” Giving a wider grin, Hop playfully hit his brother in the arm as he bounced backward. “Why don’t we hang out tonight? We could go to town and eat together, or go shopping or something, I don’t know.” 

Leon gave a slow nod. That did sound rather nice, he had to admit. 

Hop’s smile faded somewhat, and Leon couldn’t help but notice the blush was back. “But, I already told Gloria I’d hang out today. I’m just going next door, but I’ll be back soon, promise! Why don’t you rest while I’m gone?” 

Leon’s stomach lurched, and he really did almost throw up that time when he felt the blood rush from his face. He was supposed to respond, tell Hop he would be waiting for him, or that he couldn’t wait for tonight, but no sound came from his mouth. Without realizing, his gaze dropped to the floor, focused on a random spot, only coming back to reality when Hop spoke a final time before whipping around. 

“See you later!” 

Before Hop could make it that far, Leon’s body moved on its own, and he reached out to grab hold of his brother’s sleeve, causing him to turn around and look up at him curiously. 

All the things he wanted to say, like don’t leave, don’t go over there, don’t do this, don’t look at that girl the way he used to look at Leon—all of those ugly thoughts were scrambling around in his head, screaming, deafening any other thoughts he could have possibly had, and for the first time in his life, Leon felt truly lost. 

All he could manage to say was, “H-have fun,” before releasing Hop’s sleeve, receiving a cheerful grin from his brother before he flew down the stairs and out the door. 

Now alone, Leon felt empty once again. He felt sick having let his brother leave like that, not bothering to stop him again, and even sicker at the expression on his face, not meant for Leon, but _for that girl_.

It made him sick. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REV UP THOSE FRYERS it’s time to change tags y’all 
> 
> Btw thank you to everyone who commented and left kudos. It means a lot to me ;-;

Leon couldn’t help but frown when he looked at the clock for the umpteenth time that afternoon. Didn’t Hop say he would only be gone for a little while? Well, a little while ended up being three hours. Three long hours of Leon either pacing around, lying down on his bed before getting up again to pace some more, and finally settling down at his desk and trying to distract himself by watching videos on the internet.

He figured that watching Raihan’s latest match would cheer him up, but it did little to quell that hopeless feeling inside of him. Not only had he felt so utterly bombarded with thoughts this entire time Hop was gone, but when Leon was alone to _only_ these thoughts, it was driving him insane. He had been given time to ponder why he freaked out like he had, and kept coming back to the same conclusion time and time again.

He was afraid of Hop abandoning him. It was so much easier to take his brother for granted when he was living it up as the champion, when he was confident nobody would ever be able to beat him, and Hop would always cherish that about him, but now that his title was gone, taken away by his brother’s neighbor, Leon never felt more unsure of himself.

Yeah, he still loved battling and he was still respected among the other trainers and gym leaders, spending most of his time in Wyndon at the tower, but—

What in the world was he going to do if he lost Hop’s respect? Deep down, he always knew his brother cared about him more than anything in the world, and did Leon ever eat that up like candy. He was beside himself someone gave him that much attention and respect, all for him, just for him and only him. He loved being the center of Hop’s world. The thousands of fan letters and autograph requests paled in comparison to what Hop gave him.

Leon didn’t know why he cared more about what his brother thought of him than anyone else. Even if Mum lost respect for him, it wouldn’t hurt nearly as much if it was Hop. When did Leon get so caught up in what his brother thought of him? Was he really that sensitive? Or maybe he was just so used to being put on a pedestal that having that threatened now was freaking him out.

He had to give himself a dry laugh. For him to be so full of himself that he was this freaked out over his brother having a girlfriend. It wasn’t like Hop was dating _him_ for Pete’s sake. No matter how jealous he was of it, he knew he had no right to interfere in Hop’s relationships.

Besides, he told himself, Hop was still young. Young and naïve. If he ended up dating that Gloria girl, it wouldn’t be his first. They were both kids, so if anything, if they dated, it would probably last for a month or so and Hop would get bored with it, realize he still thinks girls are gross, and go back to obsessing over being as cool as Leon.

Leaning back in his chair, his gaze having started glossing over the video he’d been watching as he hadn’t been paying attention at all, he puffed out his chest, more to himself than anything. That’s right. Hop would get over this silly crush soon enough. He probably wouldn’t even have the courage to tell that girl he liked her, if his antics at the breakfast table were anything to go on. Even if he did end up confessing to her, Leon doubted she’d return those feelings. She was the new champion after all. She had a responsibility that wouldn’t allow her the luxury of relationships. Leon knew that all too well.

“Lee!”

So lost in his own thoughts was he, Leon didn’t even hear his brother return home, apparently run up the stairs since he was out of breath, and burst through his door. It startled him to say the least when his brother barreled through the door, shouting his name. He didn’t mean to jump, but he did, almost falling out of the chair and gaining an out of breath laugh from Hop.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

Cheeks flushed, Leon composed himself before speaking. “You didn’t scare me, just startled me. What about knocking on a door before you enter didn’t Mum drill into your head?”

“Sorry.” Panting, a big grin on his face, Hop finally stood up, wiping away sweat from his brow as he leaned back against the door, trying to catch his breath. “Was just—” He took a gulp of air. “So excited to get back.”

“What’s gotten you so riled up?” Leon stood from his chair, not able to hide the chuckle he made at the sight of Hop so worked up over something. He hadn’t seen his little brother this excited since—well, since he first became champion.

“I’m not riled up! Just excited.” A couple more breaths later, Hop finally contained himself and stood up straight. “I’ll have to tell you about it later. We were gonna hang out, remember? You feeling better?”

At the mention of his well-being, Leon gave his brother an apologetic smile. He hadn’t really been sick that day, but caught up in his own thoughts for the most part. Most of his anxieties had disappeared just with Hop being here. It gave him some peace of mind, so to speak, seeing him excited just like he used to be when he was little. Leon felt like all those worries from before were washing away. “Oh yeah, I’m fine. Took a little nap. Was probably just an upset stomach.”

“Oh good. I mean—good you’re feeling better.” Still bouncing up and down in excitement, Hop reached forward then, gripping hold of Leon’s arm and tugging him along. “Let’s go! There’s this awesome restaurant I’ve been dying to go to with you!”

“Wait, wait!” Leon couldn’t help but laugh as he was tugged, his mood immediately brightened by his brother’s antics. It was amazing how something like this could bring him out of a slog like that. “It’s getting chilly out there. Let me grab my coat.”

“The incredible champion Leon, brought down by a little cold weather.” Hop rolled his eyes, but spat out a laugh as Leon shot him a fake hurt look while he fished through his closet for a coat. 

“ _Ex_ -champion now.” Snaking both arms into his coat, Leon felt a bit of a pang in his chest at those words. They stung for some reason.

“Aw, come on, Lee, don’t be like that!” Hop continued bouncing as Leon exited through his bedroom door, his little brother following after him like a baby duck. “You’ll always be the champion to me.”

Hearing those words from his brother made Leon’s pride swell so much, he almost whipped around and wrapped both arms around him, just to hold onto him and never let go. What in the world was he so worried about earlier? All those dramatics he’d done, he felt so ashamed for having freaked out like he had. Hop was still the same, if not older, but still his same old little brother. He still looked up to him and thought the world of him.

Without realizing, Leon breathed a sigh of relief, not even knowing why that relieved him so much. All this time, he was panicking over the idea of his brother abandoning him to go hang out with a girl, but he didn’t have to worry. As he waved bye to his mother, Hop still going on about nonsensical things beside him, Leon pulled open the front door, the cool air feeling so refreshing on his face as they talked the entire way.

* * *

The train ride to Motostoke was uneventful at most, other than Hop’s rambling and Leon’s impatient tapping of his foot as he listened to his brother go on. It wasn’t that he was bored, he was more than happy to spend time with Hop like this, but he was rambling through so many topics at once, it was making Leon dizzy trying to keep up with everything. Hop always got like that when he was really excited, talking through multiple things at once, and Leon found it a struggle to keep up.

“—and then my Dubwool was holding an egg, so the nursery lady gave it to me, and it hasn’t hatched yet, but did you know sometimes when you hatch an egg, the Pokémon might be a different color? Crazy, right? Anyway, Gloria—” Hop was still rambling on, Leon trying to look interested and engaged, but at the mention of Gloria’s name, his eyes snapped up to look at his brother, the change in his expression was immediate. His eyes were softer, the blush returning to his cheeks, and Leon felt that familiar sinking feeling into his stomach just at the mere mention of her. Ugh, so those creeping feelings weren’t gone after all. He kind of suspected that, but Leon tried not to dwell on it too much.

“She was thinking of moving to Wyndon, where you live.”

That certainly made him perk up. “Huh?” He hadn’t even realized he had propped his chin up with his palm until he lifted his head all the way up.

Hop nodded, apparently not noticing Leon’s sudden interest. “Yeah, but she hasn’t made up her mind yet.”

He hated to admit it, but Leon was secretly hoping she would move away. Far away where Hop wouldn’t be able to have his little crush on her. If she was going to be busy with her champion duties, he knew eventually she would have to move somewhere like that. She wasn’t just a regular trainer anymore, and everyone wanted a piece of the new champion.

Before he realized what he was saying, Leon blurted out part of his thoughts. “She’s going to have to move eventually.”

Now Hop was the one who perked up. “Eventually?”

The scenery outside the train window was becoming darker and darker as the time passed on, and Leon noticed an array of storm clouds in the distance, approaching little by little. It wouldn’t be long before it began to rain.

He shrugged in response to Hop, turning back to face him. “She’s the new champion, Hop. She has more responsibilities and people who want her to sponsor them. She’s become a celebrity so quickly, of course everyone is going to want a piece of her. Interviews, biographies, you name it.” Then, his emotions started seeping out the longer he spoke, and he should have felt horrible he was saying these to deliberately crush Hop’s hope of a relationship with her, but he couldn’t stop himself. “She’s going to be too busy before too long, and if she moves—” Hop’s face fell the longer Leon went on, but he didn’t stop. He should have quit right there, before he hurt his brother, but dammit all if he didn’t keep running his mouth. “You probably won’t see her for a long time.”

An uncomfortable silence passed between them, Hop’s expression before that was bright and full of excitement, now fallen and he looked almost heartbroken. Leon felt guilty for saying it so harshly like that, but it wasn’t like he lied. Maybe he could’ve worded it in a way that didn’t seem so hopeless, but another part of him was saying this was what Hop needed to hear. If he didn’t sugarcoat it for him, then he would find out the hard way and be even more disappointed.

“Oh…” was all Hop had to say about it. In just that short span of time, Leon had managed to completely kill his brother’s good mood and he felt like a giant ass for it, but he couldn’t help but give into that small voice in the back of his head telling him Hop was going to find that out eventually anyway.

He knew it was because of the jealousy. He didn’t want his brother chasing after that girl when she would no longer have time for him. He didn’t want him giving her any ounce of adoration that wouldn’t be appreciated. Leon knew, he knew now all the things he’d taken for granted, and he was going to start being better and appreciating all that his little brother had given him over the years.

In the silence that passed, the train gave a small lurch when they finally reached their destination and Leon stood from his seat, Hop following behind, albeit a lot slower than he’d previously been. As they stepped off the train, Leon couldn’t help but groan a little at how dark it was already. It wasn’t even that late, but the cold weather also brought longer nights with it, making it seem so much later than it was.

“I’m such a fool.” Hop’s voice brought Leon out of his daydreams and he turned to look behind at his brother who had slowed to a stop right before they exited the station.

Leon was at his side in an instant. “Don’t say that about yourself.”

“But, you’re right.” As he spoke, Hop sank further and further into his coat, the blush on his cheeks now more from embarrassment at himself than anything. “I got so excited about it, because even though she beat me, I was happy for her.” His shoulders sank, as did his posture. “If she moves, it’ll be like what happened with you all over again. It might be years before I see her.”

The lump in Leon’s throat grew bigger. He didn’t mean to make Hop sad like this, but that sick part of him was glad he was realizing this sooner than later. Maybe if he realized exactly who he had a crush on, the biggest celebrity in Galar, he would realize a relationship with her was impossible.

 _Then he won’t leave._ Those words played themselves over and over in Leon’s head, elating him more than it should have. That was so wrong of him, but he couldn’t help feeling that way. Hop deserved much better than that.

But, Hop’s next sentence made that all come crashing down. “I was gonna…tell her I liked her.”

Leon was on him in a second, gripping his shoulders and bending over to get level with him. It made Hop seize up when he did so, and Leon didn’t pause or even think about it before he blurted out, “Don’t you dare do that.”

The moment he said it, Leon felt that sickening feeling well up in his stomach once again, and he couldn’t help but stare into his brother’s eyes, even when they looked so hurt by what he’d said.

“B-but…” Hop was wavering, and finally turned his gaze downward, away from Leon. “What if I regret not saying anything to her? What if she leaves and I can’t tell her for years? What if she gets a boyfriend while she’s up there, or—or—” Now he was rambling, and the more he spoke, the more broken his voice was sounding, and Leon felt awful for having been the one to do this to him.

But, he cut him off. “That’s exactly why you shouldn’t. Think this through before you go and do something like that. If you tell that girl you like her, what’s that going to do to her? She’ll have to struggle with wanting to move up in the world, or trying to make you happy. She can’t do both, Hop.” Even with all the thoughts screaming at him to stop doing this, stop saying those things, Leon didn’t stop. Didn’t listen. “And did you ever think she might not feel the same? What if you confess and she shuts you down?”

Hop brought his head back up, his eyebrows crinkled like he was trying to fight the urge to get upset. “I can handle it! I can still be friends with her!”

“It wouldn’t be the same and you know that.”

Why on earth was he saying these things? He saw the way Hop’s lip quivered, and he knew he was on the verge of crying. He may have been fourteen, but he was still a kid deep down. Leon knew exactly what to say to hurt his brother like this, and even though it killed him to do so, to do this to his baby brother, he didn’t dare let him ever think he would be happy with that girl when he knew he wouldn’t. 

To see his face light up once more when he set eyes on Leon—he wanted to see that so badly right now. He wanted to be the one to make his brother smile like that all the time. Leon wanted to be the one Hop looked up to, asked for advice, looked for when he was in trouble, talk to when there was nobody else.

Just him. Only Leon would be there for him. Only Leon knew what was best for him, he knew. He would never hurt him like that girl would. He would never abandon him like she would.

A long bout of silence passed by, Leon still with a tight grip on Hop’s shoulders, bent down so that he was level with his face, and Hop stood motionless in front of him, having drooped his head so low, Leon couldn’t see the expression anymore, or read his body language. It was as if he sucked the life out of him, and it should have made him feel terrible, guilty—but. Leon swallowed, growing uncomfortable with the silence and wondering if he should say something, but Hop beat him to it.

“Y-you’re right. Sorry. I guess I was letting what I wanted talk me into doing something stupid.” When he lifted his face, Leon could see some of that spark had fallen from his eyes, but they were softer now, if not underlined with something he thought he recognized as sadness. With his brow pinched, Hop gave Leon a small smile. “Thank you, Lee. You’re always so smart with this type of stuff.”

And he shouldn’t have, but Leon felt a instant wash of relief well over him at those words. Saying all of that—he knew deep down he wasn’t supposed to be saying those things to his brother. He was supposed to be supportive, caring, and cheering for him to go and ask out that girl, despite if he thought he’d get rejected or not. Because he would still be there for him even if he did.

Leon swallowed, a part of him wishing he had egged him on to go do it, to confess, just so he would get rejected. It would have broken his heart in two, but at least Hop would get those silly thoughts out of his head. Maybe it would destroy the image he’d built up in his head about her and he wouldn’t look up to Gloria anymore. He would go running back to Leon, rejected, alone, but at least his brother would be there for him.

But, Leon had a feeling if Hop did confess, his feelings would be reciprocated in return. He didn’t know much about Gloria, but that nagging feeling in the back of his mind knew if Hop had gone through with it, it wouldn’t be the same anymore. If Hop confessed and got himself a girlfriend, he would be so busy with her that he doubted he’d want to spend time with Leon anymore.

That kind of freaked him out a little, and he didn’t know why. Why now all of a sudden? Why now when he realized how much Hop was growing up, and the thought of having his brother taken away from him like this? It wasn’t supposed to hurt this much. Leon was supposed to be happy. But—

With Hop giving him that warm smile, no matter how strained it looked because Leon knew it wasn’t a genuine smile, his body moved before his mind could tell him not to panic, and he wrapped both arms around his brother, pulling him in so close he knew he must’ve been squeezing him too hard.

“Lee?!” It threw Hop for a loop when his brother suddenly trapped him in a hug like that, and Leon could hear his muffled whines of protest as he had his face pressed right into his chest when he did so. “Come on, we’re still in the station.” Then, a nervous laugh when he said, “Stop treating me like a little kid.”

He had to let out a laugh of his own at that one. “You _are_ still a kid, Hop.” Instead of letting go, he drew back, pulling his brother up with him until his feet were lifted off the floor, and Hop let out a muffled cry of surprise when he did, still firmly pressed against his chest.

“Let me down, Lee!” Despite his protests, Hop still had that lifted tone to his voice that suggested he wasn’t as upset with Leon as he was pretending to be. Even if Leon was going out of his way to tease and embarrass him, he wasn’t sure any other way to cheer him up right now. But, public teasing seemed to be working, as people walked by, staring at the pair and Hop drew his face out of Leon’s chest enough to realize that, he saw his brother’s face turn red again. “People are looking! They’re gonna think you’re crazy, Lee.”

“Oh yeah, and they aren’t gonna—” Before Leon could even finish his sentence, he was cut off when, throughout his brother’s rather weak struggles to get out of the hug, he had accidentally brushed his knee right against Leon’s crotch, and when he did, Leon let go more out of surprise than anything else, yelping when he did and not so gracefully dropping his brother back to the floor where he stumbled for a moment before righting himself back up.

“Lee?!” Obviously not realizing what he’d done, Hop could only look up at him, concern and surprise now drawn all over his face as Leon fought hard to compose himself.

Okay, that was a bit of an overreaction to something like that. Leon couldn’t quite figure out why that surprised the absolute hell out of him the way it did, but he was definitely flustered, trying to bite down the redness he knew was prominent on his face. As he stood there, not knowing what to say, he faked a laugh, knowing how disingenuous it sounded, but trying his hardest to come up with a lie for why he just up and dropped his brother like that. “Sorry, did I hurt you?”

“No, you just surprised me.” _Oh_ he was one to talk.

“Uh, I thought there was a bug crawling on me and it spooked me.” That was the most horrible lie he had ever come up with, but Hop burst out laughing which he didn’t expect to be honest.

“For real?” Then, in the most sibling like way possible, Hop pointed at him before laughing again. “Ha! Take that for trying to strangle me earlier!”

“It’s called a hug, Hop.”

“Between you and Mum, I’m not sure who’s in first for trying to kill me with a hug today.” Hop crossed his arms, fake pouting when he did and Leon couldn’t help but laugh.

“Was just trying to cheer you up. Do you forgive me?” He gave his little brother a rather over the top sad look, poking his lips out when he did, like he was about to start fake crying to try and show how really, really sorry he was.

Hop snorted, giving him a dismissive wave of the hand. “Fine, I forgive you. Just don’t try and smother me again.”

“Well, if you keep acting so sad like that, I might not be able to help myself.”

Before Hop could respond, the sound of thunder came from overhead and Leon had forgotten all about the approaching storm clouds he’d been watching out the window earlier. Taking a quick look from behind his brother, Hop raised his eyebrows when he apparently had the same thought. “Oh, we better hurry before it rains.” Then, in one quick motion, he sidestepped past Leon before flying out the door. “Race you!”

“You’re supposed to say that _before_ you take off!” Not able to control his smile, Leon couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled from his throat, and when his brother was a ways ahead of him, where he was sure he wouldn’t look back, Leon quickly glanced down and let out a sigh of relief.

He wasn’t hard. Oh thank the damn stars for that, because he knew he wouldn’t be able to explain _that_ one to Hop if he had been. There wasn’t even the thought of other people seeing him, because honestly, Leon didn’t care if people saw him pitching a tent, but if Hop had—

He swallowed, trying to wet his throat when that thought ended up making him sweaty. It was only an accident after all. It wasn’t like Hop deliberately pressed his knee into his crotch like that. He was flailing around, he didn’t know what he’d done, and it surprised Leon. That was all. Just an accident and nothing more.

So, why was the lump in his throat growing bigger? Why did Leon suddenly have the urge to run to the bathroom and do what he really wanted to do which was jack off? It was an accident, Hop didn’t even realize, but that one brief moment of contact made Leon sweaty and he felt the heat rise to his face all over again.

He had to nervously laugh at himself as he not so quickly followed after his brother. What was wrong with him? Having thoughts like that just because Hop accidentally touched his crotch? What kind of sick freak was he? If he wasn’t careful and let his imagination go off on him, he really would get hard in public, and that was the last thing Leon wanted to do.

It was almost impossible, trying to get those thoughts out of his head, but Leon fought hard to forget the whole thing happened as the rain finally began to pour when he exited the station.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has nothing to do with the fic, but i figured i would share anyway
> 
> This morning before i went to work, i reached down into the fridge on the bottom shelf to grab an apple and when i came back up, i bashed the back of my head so hard on the door i saw spots and all i could think is wow Leon would totally do something like that lol
> 
> Anyway, i appreciate all the comments and kudos, so thank you! It means a lot to me ;-;

The clock ticked away on his bedside table as Leon stared up at the ceiling. By the time he and Hop had returned from dinner, the storm had lessened to an extent, and a continuous stream of rain was currently plopping against his window. Dinner went fine and everything was normal.

Except.

Leon swallowed, feeling sweaty all over again. Except for the fact he was still struggling with the realization that his brother almost gave him an erection in public. He was still silently freaking out about it, because if Hop had seen, what would he think? He could only imagine the disgust on his face, the urge to put distance between them, even if Leon tried to make a joke out of the whole thing, he doubted his brother would find it all that funny.

And yet. Another part of him was fantasizing a scenario where Hop had intentionally brushed against him, teasing him, giving him a flirtatious look from underneath heavy eyelids. Leon blanched back at the thought of his brother reaching down to brush his hand ever so gently across him as Leon pretended not to notice, but he did.

It was all done in secret, right in front of everyone. Nobody noticed Hop brushing his fingers against him, and Leon had held his composure long enough not to draw any attention. To any passerby, it looked like a pair of brothers just having a grand old time and nothing more. Certainly not flirting. Why would anyone suspect them of flirting?

As thoughts like these plagued his mind, Leon couldn’t ignore the fact it was making him hard again, and even as the shame washed over him until he felt like he was drowning in it, he gingerly reached down, pulled back the elastic band of his boxers, and gripped hold of himself. The thought of Hop doing that raced through his mind, and he was already hard. With his brother’s big eyes staring up at him, that coy smile played on his face, it was almost comical how much that got him off. Precum leaked out as Leon stroked himself, the image of his brother placed between his legs and looking up at him as he did this was more than enough to make him come, but he held off. No, he couldn’t be doing this so fast, not just from the fantasy of Hop pulling down his boxers, Hop gripping hold of him and giving him that teasing smile as he played with him. Fantasy Hop was eager, letting Leon know he was in control, and he would release him if he thought Leon was going to come too fast. Fantasy Hop knew just how to drag this out as long as possible, until Leon was practically begging him for it.

Fantasy Hop loved his brother more than anything, even to do this for him, even knowing how much trouble he would be in if Mum ever found out, but Fantasy Hop didn’t care. All he cared about was pleasing his older brother, knowing exactly how and what to do to make Leon come so hard, he was seeing stars. Fantasy Hop would lean up once he was done and give him a peck on the cheek, just a small one, and tell him he was loved.

And Leon would feel every inch of himself cave underneath those words. How badly Fantasy Hop looked at him as if he was so adored. So grateful to have such a wonderful brother. Leon could feel it all, just from the stare he was given. He felt it when his orgasm took hold and he expelled it from his body.

All the love, all the ugly emotions, all the adoration Hop held for him came out and he had to reach up and cover his mouth to muffle his moan. He completely messed up the inside of his boxers, but he didn’t care. He rode it out until he felt like he had pumped himself dry. Just the thought of Hop doing that to him was enough to make him see specks in his vision for a moment, but the high of orgasm never lasted long enough, and Leon was soon dragged out of his euphoria, back to the ticking of the clock on his nightstand, the rain pounding on his window, and the realization he had just masturbated to the thought of his brother jerking him off.

It was like a slap in the face when it took him too long to actually think about what he’d just done. In one quick motion, Leon stood straight up from his bed, sweaty, heart racing, and feeling the entire mess in his pants and what had caused it. He felt like he was about to expel his dinner, and as quietly as he could, made his way across the hall to the bathroom, locking himself inside.

He just touched himself to the thought of his brother. Leon just came to the thought of his brother, he just orgasmed so hard because he was imagining it was Hop doing it to him, and that thought made him begin to shake as he clutched the edge of the sink. He couldn’t even look at himself in the mirror, but the pounding of his heart and the sickening nausea that coiled in his stomach reminded him all too well what just happened. What a sick bastard he was.

Hands still shaking, he splashed cold water in his face before pulling off his clothes and discarding them into the floor. Usually when he did this, a simple clean up would be all he needed, but Leon felt as if his entire body was just soiled, and he stepped in the shower, not wasting a second before dousing himself in hot water.

What in the hell was wrong with him? Why would he touch himself to _Hop_ of all people? Was he really so starved for a quick orgasm that he had to resort to thinking about something so gross? Leon shook his head as the water cascaded over his long hair. No, that wasn’t fair. Hop wasn’t the one to blame for his actions. Leon was the one who was disgusting in this, not his brother. Hop was innocent, he had no idea he’d even gotten him off earlier that evening and _thank_ whatever god liked him for that, because there was no way he’d ever be able to face his brother if he knew what he’d done.

As much as he told himself how disgusting he was for that, that nagging image kept haunting him. The one of Hop smiling up at him as he jerked him off, reaching over afterward to give him a quick kiss, and Leon was already breathing hard again. Why did he keep repeating that fantasy over and over? Why wouldn’t it get out of his head already and leave him in peace? No rational, grown-ass _normal_ person thought of their brother like that.

He was sick. Leon knew he was sick for thinking that.

The water was too hot and his skin was burning, but Leon allowed it. It was ample punishment for what he’d just done, and he probably deserved a lot worse than that for doing what he just did. Jeez, he’d never been this messed up before. Did losing his title really screw him up this bad? He couldn’t remember a time when he had thoughts like this about his brother. Hop was always the little kid who looked up to him. He was always the little brother that Leon adored and cherished and wanted to watch grow up.

And now he was growing up. Crushing on his neighbor, experiencing the world for the first time, and it absolutely killed Leon. It felt like Hop would be a child forever, and he wasn’t _supposed_ to grow up. It felt like he was losing his little brother in a way. That innocent sweet kid who thought Leon was some kind of superhero, someone to look up to and take after, someone he would always, always look at with that sparkle in his eyes.

The steam that had slowly filled the room was stagnate when Leon finally emerged from the shower, his skin burning, but cleaned of his filth. Just looking at his clothes on the ground made him grimace and he didn’t even want to touch them, but the last thing he wanted to do was have Hop come in here and see his stained boxers like that. Ugh, that wasn’t a conversation he ever wanted to have.

Quickly, he threw a bathrobe on to hide his decency before balling up his clothes, making sure his t-shirt was bundled around his boxers so he wouldn’t have to directly touch them, and he made his way out of the bathroom. With the rain still falling against the windows, the house was almost pitch dark, but his gaze fell to the opposite end of the hall where his brother’s room was, and Leon was about to turn his back, head back to his room and try his damndest to go back to sleep, but something stopped him.

He wasn’t sure why, or for what reason, but his body moved on its own, compelled by something, and he was at Hop’s door, gripping at the door handle and turning it as quietly as he could possibly muster. The door cracked open, and he immediately saw his brother’s sleeping form curled up on his bed across the room. He was balled up, his feet hanging out of the covers, but even from where he stood, Leon could hear his heavy breathing and small snores every once in awhile.

Leon placed his clothes beside the door before he crept in, not really understanding what he was trying to do, or what in the world compelled him to come in here in the first place. Maybe he just wanted to convince himself that he wasn’t turned on by his brother. He wasn’t going to freak out and jump him the moment he saw him, he wasn’t going to hurt him. So, as he took a breath, he crept across the carpeted floor, tiptoeing and taking his time so as not to wake Hop. It felt like hours he silently strode across the floor, but he stopped when he reached the edge of the bed, whatever light there was outside shining down from the window onto Hop’s sleeping face. His jaw was slack and even in the dark, Leon could see a small speck of drool dribbling down.

His face went hot at the sight of seeing Hop so vulnerable like this, curled into a ball like he was, and it made him look so, so small. Instinctively, he reached out, compelled to run his fingers through his hair, but he stopped when he realized what he was doing. What…was he even doing? Patting his brother’s head while he slept? It sounded so innocent when he said it to himself like that, but he knew deep down what this was really about. A gauge of his reaction. Leon wanted to know if he was actually lusting after his brother, or if that was some one time fluke. What did he even plan to do if he _was_ attracted to him? Well, distance himself, of course. But, just the thought of forcing himself away from Hop made his stomach drop and his chest ache. No, that wasn’t an option, but—

Leon couldn’t help but think how wonderful it would be if Hop really did look at him that way. If these emotions weren’t some messed up fantasy, and his little brother was as eager as he was in his fantasy. Leon was supposed to stop him from doing things like that, as it was highly inappropriate to have feelings like that for your own brother—but he knew. He didn’t even have to argue with himself. If Hop was the one initiating this, Leon wouldn’t stop him.

As the rain pelted the window, creating a soft, rhythmic sound, Leon gently reached out, just barely brushing the tips of his fingers against Hop’s hair. Ever the heavy sleeper, Hop didn’t stir at all below him, and Leon had another thought of what all he could get away with while his brother slept—but he quickly reprimanded himself. That was sick, what he was thinking, and yet. Here he was, looming over his little brother’s sleeping form and caressing his hair. That’s something only creeps did, only perverts with nothing better to do with their time did.

His chest ached. This was all Hop’s fault. Why did he have to start having feelings for that girl? Why couldn’t he just—keep looking at Leon that way? None of this would have happened. Leon wouldn’t be freaking out, or doing sick things like touching himself to Hop or sneaking into his room at night. Everything could have stayed normal.

His fingers gently brushed down his face, barely touching the side of his cheek with the pad of his middle finger.

Everything could have been normal.

He trailed down to the edge of his lip, where the small line of drool was, and before Leon could stop himself, even think of what he was doing, he had leaned in, bending over until he was almost on his knees, and dragged his bottom lip up from where the line ended, until he had cleaned the edge of his brother’s mouth, and he licked the excess from his bottom lip, tasting him, tasting Hop—and the feeling of it inside his mouth made him shiver, making him stand as he began shaking.

Hop never moved, never noticed, as Leon was gentle, but thorough, and the sight of his brother’s still sleeping form below him made Leon’s stomach flip.

Was he insane? Did he really just do that? Reaching up, he cupped his mouth shut with his hand as he started to breathe harder. No, he was actually crazy. Leon was crazy. Horrified at what he’d just done, Leon crept back across the floor, gathered his clothes that still rested at the doorway, and without closing his brother’s door back, locked himself up in his room, still shaking. Holy shit. Holy. _Shit_. He really just did that. He really just licked the drool off his brother’s mouth like some kind of sick pervert.

That wasn’t even the worst part. Now that he was back in the safety of his room, Leon noticed he was hard again, and that only made him feel more sick. He was actually getting off to this. He was getting off to doing things to his brother, fantasizing about him, wishing that _Hop_ would be the one to initiate and try something with him.

As a million and one thoughts raced through his mind, Leon slowly sank to the floor, mouth still cupped shut as he tried to focus on breathing and not his racing heart, his upturned stomach, the image of Hop’s smiling face playing over and over in his head.

Oh, he was really fucked now.

* * *

“Are you alright, dear?”

Leon had spent the better part of that morning spaced out. Even as he sat at the breakfast table, a plate full of eggs he had barely touched staring back up at him, he felt no compulsion to actually eat. His stomach was still in knots over what happened last night, and he knew if he ate anything, he would probably be seeing it again way too soon.

He didn’t even register that his mother had spoken to him until her palm came in contact with his forehead, jutting him out of his thoughts.

“You feel awfully warm. You weren’t feeling so well yesterday either, were you?”

Leon swallowed, trying to rid himself of the lump in his throat, but it didn’t work. “I’m fine.”

“You’re a terrible liar, son.”

He had to let out a small laugh through his nose at that. In all honesty, he did feel sick, but it wasn’t from overworking himself or catching a virus. Ever since all of that with Hop started yesterday with the announcement of his little brother having a crush on the neighbor, Leon felt ill. Not just sick because of what he’d done last night either. Things were so stupidly normal not two days ago, and in one fell swoop, he was losing sleep, stressing out over things that didn’t even matter, and masturbating to perverted things. Of course he felt sick. It wasn’t even Hop’s fault, but he couldn’t help but blame his brother for some of the reasons he felt this way.

Leon sighed, finally giving up on stabbing his eggs to death as he pushed the plate away. “Maybe I was working too hard before.”

“It’s only Sunday, dear. Do you really have to leave today? If you aren’t feeling well, you should stay. You know we’ll always keep your bed neat and tidy for you.”

Staying was the absolute worst idea, as he knew the longer he stayed around Hop, the worse he was going to start feeling. Distancing himself from his brother until these creepy feelings went away was the smart thing to do, he knew. If he allowed it to blow over, maybe then it would go back to normal and he could get back what they had, but—

Leon shook his head. Leaving felt like the worst possible thing he could do, even though he knew it was the smart thing to do. If he left, he would only obsess more and more, until he really did go crazy. Getting away from Hop to allow him to fawn over that girl—the thought alone made Leon want to retch, but he quickly composed himself. If he didn’t gain some type of closure from all this, it would haunt him until the day he died. Staying here was probably the worst bad decision he would ever make, but he took a long inhale before replying to Mum.

“Maybe I’ll stay for a few more days. Just until I feel like myself again.”

With that, his mum gave him a pat on the head, a soft smile, and he smiled back before she began clearing the table away. “Go upstairs and get some rest then.”

Without any protest, Leon pushed his chair back before standing and sauntering back up the stairs. It was still early enough that Hop hadn’t come down yet, but he knew his brother would be up and about soon enough. He wasn’t even sure if he hated the idea of staying in bed all day that much. At least then he had an excuse not to go out and do anything. Maybe he really was sick after all. At least then, it would be much easier to use the excuse he was just sick and not—you know, a _pervert_.

Ugh, those thoughts were only making him feel worse, and he not so gracefully plopped back onto his bed, wrapping himself up in the covers before rolling over to face the wall away from the door. After a restless night, his exhaustion was starting to take over and as Leon relaxed down in his bed, he soon fell asleep.

* * *

“Lee?”

Hop’s soft voice roused him from sleep, and it became apparent the moment he opened his eyes, groggy from the nap, that he hadn’t gotten as much sleep as he would’ve wanted. Rolling over to face the door, he didn’t expect Hop to be standing _right there_ —or more like, bent over onto his knees where his face was leveled with Leon’s. The close proximity between them made him jolt back in bed, face burning when he inadvertently shot up, causing Hop to jump back at the sudden movement.

“Sorry! Didn’t mean to scare you.” Hop let out a sheepish laugh. “What’s with you? You’ve been so jumpy lately.”

“I’m not jumpy.” Well _that_ comeback would certainly win the argument. Leon still felt his cheeks gushing as he straightened himself back out, now leaning back against the headboard with the covers pulled up to his waist. “I just didn’t expect to see you so close.” Then, with an absolute intentional act of teasing his brother, Leon added, “Do you like watching me sleep or something?” He tried to laugh, but it soon hit him that he had done the exact same thing last night, and his stomach churned at the thought. What the hell was wrong with him? Maybe he was just guilty at the fact _he_ had been the one doing that, and he was trying to put it on Hop for some reason.

Not seeming to notice Leon’s rather stark shift in behavior, Hop shrugged. “I was trying to be quiet. Remember how Mum used to wake us up like that if we played too hard and ended up napping on the sofa? She always got real close and talked real soft. It wasn’t like being woken up so much as just waking up, you know?”

Well, now that he brought that up, Leon definitely remembered being woken up a time or two like that before. He forced a laugh through his nose. “You trying to be like Mum now?”

“No, I just know you aren’t feeling well.” Hop crossed his arms. “Trying to be considerate.”

“Well, I appreciate the sentiment.” Just as Leon was about to scoot back down under the covers, Hop suddenly leaned into him again, reaching out and placing his palm against his forehead. At the sudden contact that Leon didn’t expect, he felt like his face gushed heat, more heat than he actually felt, but his brother’s hand was cool to the touch, and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t feel nice.

“Wow, you’re burning up.”

 _Yeah, no kidding._ Leon gulped, as if that would will away the heat. “Must still be under the weather.” Boy, _that_ was the understatement of the day. Just with Hop’s hand against him like this, he started growing sweaty again, his palms cold and clammy, and he forced his gaze away from his brother’s. If he looked into his eyes while he did this, he might—

Before he could even finish the thought, Hop removed his hand and Leon felt the instant relief of his body relaxing. Why was he reacting like this? Why was Hop making him so nervous? He knew damn well why, but Leon was still in denial. Denial he had touched himself to thoughts like these, thoughts that got too carried away, thoughts that led him to licking his brother’s mouth while he slept. If Hop actually put his hands on him, Leon didn’t know how much he could actually take before he really did jump his brother.

That was horrible. What was he saying? Jump his brother? No, Leon wouldn’t do a thing like that. He would never want to hurt Hop. He would never—

He swallowed again, the image of his fantasy from earlier coming back. Of Hop giving him that flirtatious smile as he touched him, as he pleasured him and Leon allowed him to, not daring to fight back, not daring to take for granted what his brother was giving him.

If this continued on, he might grow hard right in front of him. Then what was he going to say? All the fantasies in the world made him want to believe Hop would smile, offer to take care of it for him, and he’d lie back as his brother jerked him off, right there in the bed. The fantasies were only that—make believe. Leon knew if Hop ever found out what he’d done, he’d be disgusted, probably enough to never want to see him again. With those thoughts racing through his mind, Leon tried his best to discreetly raise the covers up just enough if he did get hard, Hop wouldn’t see.

“Do you need anything?”

Yes, Leon needed a lot of things right now. But, all the things he wanted, he didn’t dare say, so he opted instead to shake his head no.

“Alright. I’ll let you have your rest then.” Standing straight, Hop gave his brother a reassuring smile as he made his way to the door. “I’m going to go hang out with Gloria for awhile.”

“What?” He hadn’t meant to, but Leon was pulled back out of his still rather groggy state at the mention of her name, causing Hop to turn back around and give him a confused look. Before he could stop himself, Leon blurted out, “You’re still hanging out with her?”

Hop looked, if I possible, even more confused, and he shrugged. “Well yeah. She’s my friend.”

“I thought she was busy being champion. What’s she doing still hanging around here for?” Now his tone had turned sour, and even Leon could hear the distaste in his own voice, but he didn’t care.

But, Hop only tilted his head back at him. “Lee, are you sure you’re okay? Every time I mention her, you seem to get upset.”

“I’m _not_ upset.” Yet his face was heating up and he couldn’t handle that look Hop was giving him, so he turned away, choosing instead to stare at the random folds in his blanket. “I’m just looking out for you. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“Gloria would never hurt me.”

“You don’t know that.”

The tension in the air grew thick in that moment, and Leon knew what he said wasn’t helping anybody. It was pure emotion and biting jealousy. That’s all it was, and he knew that’s all it was. But, he didn’t care either. If Hop wasn’t going to listen to him, then fine, but he knew, despite the weird feelings he was having right now, that he cared for his brother and just wanted him to safe. Nobody, absolutely nobody, not even so called friends, were allowed to hurt him.

“We’re just…” And the way Hop’s voice quivered then, as he struggled to speak, made Leon turn his gaze back at his brother, and when he saw that his eyes were lined with tears threatening to fall any second, Leon felt like he’d been stabbed through the chest. Not daring to let himself get worked up, Hop wiped his face quickly before finishing, “We’re just _friends_ , Lee,” before he turned and left the room without another word.

He thought that once Hop left, the tension in the air would go with him. But it didn’t.

Now alone, Leon could only hold his face in his hands as he fought with himself over what he just said. He knew that had hurt Hop, but he also knew he was only speaking the truth. Hop was still too naïve to realize there were people out there who would use him only to break his heart when it was beneficial to them. He was only trying to look out for his little brother, because he knew better than to trust others so blindly like that. He used to be the same, carefree and always knew that people had only innocent intentions.

But, life didn’t work that way and Hop was still too young to realize that. He didn’t realize that girl was probably just using him for her own gain. She was the new champion for crying out loud, what in the world was she still doing hanging around this old place? Leon could only conjure up nefarious intentions the longer he thought of it. She was going to break Hop’s heart, he knew it, he just knew it.

And yet.

As the day passed by, the sun setting over Postwick, the light from the windows stretching out as the sun eventually disappeared over the horizon and gave way to the moon, Leon found himself out of bed once again and once again he was back in his brother’s room, standing directly over him while he slept. The night had grown long and cold, and Leon wasn’t getting to sleep anytime soon.

The thoughts were overbearing at times, and Leon thought he was going insane, or maybe he had already crossed that threshold a long time ago, and was only just now realizing it. But, one thing he knew, even as he crouched down next to his brother’s bedside and began rubbing himself through his boxers, he knew what was best for his little brother. Probably even more than he himself thought, but Leon knew what Hop needed the most.

…Right?

That’s why he did it. That’s why he waited until it was after midnight to sneak into his room, sure he wouldn’t be awoken by any sound, any sound Leon might accidentally make as he sat there by his brother’s bed, pumping himself to the thoughts of Hop, allowing this growing and creeping desire to manifest inside him. Leon knew this was all because he loved his brother so much, so, so much that he would do something this outlandish to protect him.

Even after he had cum in his pants, having covered his mouth to muffle the choked noise in the back of his throat and the haze overtook him, Leon knew without a doubt this was all for Hop’s own good. If he couldn’t see it now, then Leon would just have to show him. Show him how much he really loved his little brother.

Show him that Leon was truly the only one who knew what was best for him.

As he rose from the floor, staying as absolutely silent as he possibly could, Leon glanced one more time at his brother’s sleeping form, and he gave him a soft smile. His heart felt so warm and comforted then, that for a moment, he felt like he was overtaken by bliss itself, just by the sight of Hop’s sleeping face. How vulnerable he was. How safe with his big brother he was.

How _awfully_ Leon loved him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think i accidentally made Leon a yandere


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit alive i hope you guys like to read because i am NEVER writing a chapter this long ever again wtf is wrong with me lol 
> 
> Anyway happy reading

The next morning, Leon awoke with a rather prominent headache and knew it was from lack of sleep. He wasn’t doing any favors for himself, staying up all night doing—well, doing what he was doing and choosing to nap during the day. Strangely enough though, he wasn’t overtaken with as much guilt this morning as he previously had. Something about that should have shot off warning signs to him to put a stop to this, but he ignored those thoughts.

It wasn’t like he was doing anything _wrong_. Hop didn’t realize as Leon made sure to be careful around him, quiet as a mouse when he chose to sneak into his room at night.

Leon sat up in bed, his hair falling down past his shoulders in a mess of tangles.

It was easier to say that anyway. That just because Hop wasn’t aware of what he was doing meant Leon wasn’t as creepy as he thought. The more he thought that he was only interested in Hop’s well-being and happiness, the easier it was to tell himself this was an act of love and nothing more. He only touched himself to thoughts of Hop because he loved him.

Leon swallowed. That’s right. He hadn’t hurt his brother. He hadn’t done anything bad to him. If the entire time he spent back at home was doing things like this in secret, Leon could convince himself it was because he cared too much. If he said it enough times, it would become true.

Letting out a long sigh, Leon finally stood from bed, squinting as the sun trickled in through his window, being one of the main reasons he was awake right now. If it hadn’t angled itself in such a way, being directly on his face, he probably would have slept a lot longer. He contemplated just washing his face real fast and trying to get another hour of sleep in, but a soft sound outside his door caught his attention.

Crossing the room, Leon opened his door, and didn’t expect to see Hop there, hand outstretched like he was about to open the door, but froze at the last second. When Leon pulled the door open, Hop jumped back until he straightened up. “Sorry, did I wake you?”

Leon shook his head. “No. Couldn’t sleep.”

“Yeah, me either.”

That admission made Leon’s heart race. Hop didn’t…see what he did last night, did he? If he had, surely he wouldn’t be here in front of his door, still dressed in his pajamas and hair a mess, eyes shifting from side to side like he was nervously trying to bring himself to say something.

Finally, Hop murmured out, “How are you feeling?”

Leon nodded, now growing nervous the longer his brother stood there in front of his door. “Better.” Right, he was supposed to be sick. Well, it wasn’t a lie to say he felt terrible, but not for reasons his brother probably thought.

“That’s good.” A long pause ensued in which Hop dropped his gaze to the floor and back up before finally speaking again. “Lee, can I talk to you?”

The blood drained from Leon’s face, but he composed himself. “Yeah, what’s up?” He stepped out of the way to allow Hop entry to his room, closing the door behind him when his brother entered and seated himself at his desk. Surely…surely he didn’t see what happened last night? He just told Leon he couldn’t sleep, but he was so careful—so sure Hop was snoozing away while he—

“I wanted to say sorry.”

Well, Leon certainly didn’t expect _that_. The apology came out of left field and despite the constricting feeling in his chest as he sat down on his bed, trying to patiently allow Hop his chance to speak, his stomach churned at the thought of what he’d done and if Hop had seen him or not. “What on earth are you apologizing for?”

Hop’s shoulders bunched up, and he refused to meet Leon’s eye. “Um, for, uh…” He watched his brother fidget in the chair, the longer he struggled to speak, the more nervous Leon got until he felt sweaty as he waited for what his brother could possibly be sorry for. “For making you upset.”

Leon blinked. _What?_ “What?”

Again, Hop fidgeted in his chair before finally lifting his head and glancing at Leon. “For always going off about Gloria.”

His chest tightened, but Leon no longer felt the urge to throw up. Oh…that’s what he meant. He should’ve known if this was about last night, Hop probably wouldn’t be sitting here right now, but that was honestly the last thing Leon expected to hear. He knew he was supposed to say it was okay, no harm done, but for some reason, he couldn’t make those words come out no matter how hard he tried.

“You’re home so little these days, I should’ve put time aside with her to spend with you. I can see how that would upset you. You work so much and when you finally get home, your family doesn’t even want to see you, right? And when you’re feeling unwell, I still left.” Hop hung his head then. “I’m a rotten brother, aren’t I?”

No, Leon couldn’t believe he was hearing this. Hop wasn’t the type of person to talk down to himself like this, and he knew it was because of him. He’d made his brother feel this way. Leon stood up from the bed then, until he was at Hop’s side, and crouched down to his knees before mussing his brother’s hair. “You are _not_ rotten, Hop. Don’t say that about yourself.”

“I’m probably the reason you got sick.”

Leon felt a pang of guilt, as that wasn’t entirely untrue, but there was no way he would ever admit that. “It had nothing to do with you. I’ve just been overworking myself. Sometimes adults go overboard with work and forget that their health is at stake.” It was an abysmal excuse, but the only one Leon could think of now.

It surprised him when Hop suddenly leaned forward in the chair, wrapping both arms around him until his face was buried in Leon’s chest. That tightening feeling only grew, and Leon had to fight with himself in that moment when he bit his bottom lip to try and not get hard.

“I’ve missed you, Lee.”

His throat tightened, and he returned the hug, pulling Hop even closer into him, making sure his brother wouldn’t accidentally touch him again. Leon knew, as much as he tried to deny it, if Hop accidentally got him off right now, he might not be able to control himself. “I’ve missed you too.” Just _how_ much he missed Hop, he was realizing now, was an awful lot. As his brother pressed into him, his face in his chest, Leon couldn’t help but notice the scent of his hair. His brother was still bathing with the same shampoo he did, which did nothing to quell Leon’s growing excitement. If this kept up, he would lose himself.

He wanted so bad to pull Hop away and kiss him, shove his tongue down his throat, and pull his pajamas off. He wanted to see Hop’s bare chest before he ran his hands all over him, teasing him, making Hop moan and let out little noises of surprise when he trailed his hands down. He wanted Hop to touch him in return, press his body so far against him, that he invaded every one of Leon’s senses.

He wanted to smell him, taste him, feel him, watch him as Hop crawled in his lap and gave him a smile. Leon wouldn’t fight. Wouldn’t even protest when his brother began to pump him and he knew he would come embarrassingly fast. Hop was the only one allowed to do that to him.

These thoughts were becoming overwhelming now, and even though Hop let go of him much sooner than he would’ve liked, Leon was also glad his brother only gave him a brief hug. If he got _too_ excited—well, he didn’t want to think of what he might end up doing to his brother.

Totally oblivious to Leon’s dirty thoughts, Hop pulled himself back until he straightened up tall. “I was also wondering if you wanted to go do something—if you’re feeling alright, that is.”

It probably wasn’t a good idea to be hanging out with Hop like this, considering what he was doing to Leon without even realizing, but he shot his brother a smile and nodded. “Of course, what’d you have in mind?”

* * *

Motostoke was a short train ride away and it felt like no time at all when Leon stepped off the train with Hop bouncing up behind him, rambling on about all the things he wanted to do. Something other about going clothes shopping, getting a sweet treat, or things to that effect. Leon was phasing in and out of the conversation as this was one of those times Hop was worked up and kept juggling topics back and forth so much so that Leon couldn’t focus for long enough, so he stuck to nodding every once in awhile.

It was good to see Hop in such high spirits. With his guilt eating at him all night long for having almost made him cry yesterday, Leon was more than relieved to see his brother back to normal. It was like all the worries and stress he’d been experiencing over the past couple of days was washed away by simply being around his brother. That thought should have made Leon a bit uneasy just how badly Hop was riling him up like this, but he convinced himself it was a good thing. It was good that Hop was happy, it was good that he apologized—even though he didn’t do anything wrong, it just made it easier on Leon to shift the blame.

That was terrible of him, but he found as he and Hop walked from store to store, window shopping mostly and chatting about anything and everything, that Leon didn’t really care. All that mattered was what was happening right now, and right now, he was spending the day with his brother, who looked back at him every once in awhile with that brighter than the sun smile of his, and Leon couldn’t help but smile back every single time.

“Hey, Lee.” Hop stopped in front of him as they passed by a clothing store, pointing through the window at a mannequin that had an over-sized Charizard hoodie on. Hop turned back to face him as he pointed. “What do you think of that?”

Leon nodded, shrugging as he dug his hands into his coat pockets. The longer they dawdled outside, the chillier it got. “It’s cute, I suppose.”

“You suppose?” Hop crossed his arms, giving Leon a rather mischievous smile. “You wouldn’t wear that during your matches?”

Leon shook his head. “Probably not.”

Then, “Not even if I bought it for you?”

Of course, Leon thought as a flurry of butterflies rose in his stomach, if Hop bought that for him, he’d probably never take it off regardless. The thought in itself was tantalizing, but he quickly shook his head. “No. I mean, while I appreciate the thought, you should save your money.”

“Oh, come on.” Hop let out a laugh as he pressed his face against the glass, peering in to find a price tag. “I bet it’s not even that mu—” Hop choked on his own words before he even finished that sentence, peeling himself back and away from the window, an obvious coat of blush on his cheeks as he avoided eye contact. “Never mind.”

Leon threw his head back and laughed as Hop tried not so successfully to hide his embarrassment. Even as Hop refused to look back as he hurried up again, running a good distance between them, Leon couldn’t help the smile that was plastered to his face and refused to go anywhere. These little moments might not have seemed like much, but damn if Leon didn’t wish he could stay in moments like these forever. Just having a grand time with his brother, laughing, joking, teasing one another. It made his chest feel so light and nothing else mattered.

“Hey!” Hop skidded to a halt a few ways ahead, his attention once again focused on something through a window, and Leon hurried to catch up when his brother began waving back to him. Huddling a little further into his coat, Leon finally stood next to Hop and peeked in through the window to see what all the fuss was about.

It appeared to be a regular coffee shop. A bit odd for Hop to get so excited over something like that, but it wasn’t like Leon was about to complain at seeing his brother’s wide smile yet again.

Hop pulled back from the window, his grin wide and cheerful. “Let me treat you!” Without even waiting for a response, Hop pulled open the door, sounding the little bell above it and ushered Leon to go in.

“Aw, you don’t have to do that.” But, Leon didn’t object to going into a nice warm building at least. Still huddled in his coat, he passed by Hop who held the door open for him, receiving a wide grin when he scooted in behind Leon and finally closed the door. The warmth was immediate enough that Leon stopped squeezing himself so far into his coat, grateful for the warm air that mixed with the smell of coffee and sugar. If he really wanted to, he could probably take a nap in a place like this.

“Sorry I can’t buy you anything fancy like a new jacket, but the least I can do is buy you a cup of coffee and a scone or something.” Slipping out from behind him, Hop settled next to Leon as he scanned the menu from the back wall. “See anything you like?”

“Well…” Leon glanced up, already knowing what he wanted. He was by no means a big coffee drinker, but he did indulge in a cup every once in a blue moon, with plenty of added sugar and cream, of course. “While I don’t think you should be spending your money on me, I guess I can’t say no if it’s a little something.” With that in mind, he pointed toward the iced coffees as he sauntered up to the counter, greeted with a pleasant smile from the young barista. “Um, hello. An iced coffee with a caramel topping, please.”

Hop scoffed next to him, causing him to look over. “ _Really_ , Lee? It’s cold and only getting colder outside and you order something with ice in it?”

Leon shrugged. “What’s wrong with that?”

“Duh, you’re supposed to get something hot!”

It was embarrassing that Leon’s instant thought to that was how he was already next to something _hot_ , but he quickly pushed things like that from his mind, focusing instead on Hop’s exasperated antics. He looked so genuinely offended that Leon hadn’t ordered a hot coffee and he had to laugh through his nose as his little brother slammed a handful of money down on the counter before demanding a _hot_ drink. The barista, a little taken aback, but still smiling, took the money before setting to work on their drinks. That is, not before she took a closer look at Leon.

“Um, this might sound a little silly,” she said, giving him a shy smile. “But, you look an awful lot like the former champion.”

Cue Hop blurting out next to him before Leon could even open his mouth, “He is!” Once again, Hop was glued to the counter, a smile so big on his face, it was kind of embarrassing Leon, but in a good way. “Isn’t it cool? You should feel lucky a celebrity is visiting today.”

The smallest of blushes crept on the girl’s face when she looked up at Leon again. “W-would it be alright—I mean, if it’s no trouble—could I have your autograph?”

Leon had to curl into himself a little at the sudden attention he didn’t expect to get. It was one thing to have Hop gushing to him like that, but ever since he lost his title, he was a bit more apprehensive at being the center of attention. Of course, that didn’t mean he didn’t indulge his fans. It wouldn’t be right to turn them away, even though he didn’t really deserve this praise any longer. So, he remained professional, gave the barista a charismatic smile and nodded. “I’d love to.”

No more had he gotten that sentence out than the barista fumbled underneath the counter for a pen and paper, handing it to him with shaking hands. Hop looked ready to burst next to him as Leon scrawled out his name for her, handing it back and receiving a flustered ‘thank you’ in return. Just as quickly, the girl hid away her precious new autograph and finally set to work on their orders.

While she worked, Hop and Leon held back from the counter to allow her some peace, but the second Leon had begun to lean against a nearby table, Hop nudged him in the arm. “See?”

He blinked. “See what?”

“People adore you, Lee.”

He knew that—well, he knew that he still had fans at least. “I know I still have admirers. It isn’t very deserved though.”

“Of course it’s deserved.” Then, a rather uncharacteristic serious look crossed Hop’s features as he craned his neck to meet Leon’s face when he gazed down at the floor. “Lee, do you—I mean.” He bit his lip, and now he was the one looking down.

Waiting patiently for him to speak, Leon glanced up at his brother, shifting in his spot when he didn’t speak for a good while. “Do I what.”

Hop bit his bottom lip again.

Whatever he had to say was cut short when the barista placed both their cups on the counter. “Mr. Leon!” Scooting away from the table, Leon approached the counter and grabbed their drinks, giving the girl a final smile.

“Thanks.”

Hop had settled down in one of the chairs at the table, looking rather pensive, a drastic change from his bright and bursting attitude from earlier. Even when Leon passed him his drink and Hop blew some of the steam from the top away, he kept his gaze focused directly in front of him, not meeting Leon’s eye.

“Something on your mind?” The awkward silence was getting a little nerve-wracking to be honest. Leon wasn’t used to seeing his brother lost in thought so much. It felt like out of the entirety of his stay back at home, Leon had seen Hop more solemn than ever and it felt so _wrong_ to see him this way. Hop was happy, carefree, easy going. Not a downer. If this could even be considered as such. But still, Leon waited patiently for him to talk to him as he quietly sipped his iced coffee, noting how it wasn’t nearly sweet enough, but he didn’t really care enough to stand and get sugar.

“Um.” Hop finally lifted his head, although still avoided eye contact as he seemed to be fighting so hard to say what he had to say. “I don’t want to upset you again, Lee.”

His stomach churned as he prepared himself for the worst.

“But, um.” Again, he bit his lip for the umpteenth time that day before finally spilling it and looking up at Leon. “Is that the reason you don’t like Gloria? Because she took your title?”

Oh. Leon swallowed the coffee leftover in his mouth before opening his mouth, but no sound came out.

It…wasn’t about the title.

Leon gripped his cup in his hand, squeezing the edges in and out as he tapped his foot, trying to will the words to come forth so that Hop would understand. It wasn’t about that damn title. It was never about the damn title.

“That’s…” The right words just would not come out, and all he could do was look back up at his brother, as if staring at him would make him understand. If he would just _see_. “That’s not it at all.”

But, Hop wasn’t done. “Am I a horrible brother, Lee?”

Where on earth did _that_ come from? Before Leon could even recover from that and speak, Hop had cut him off.

“I know I’ve been selfish this entire time, only thinking about myself and not appreciating you being back home for once. I don’t want you to think I started fancying Gloria just because she’s the new champion. We were friends for a long time before that even happened. I just—” He shook his head, still seeming to be struggling for the right words, but Leon remained silent, allowing him the space he needed to speak. “I don’t want you to think I don’t care about you anymore.”

Had…Leon really made his brother feel like this? All because he was jealous his brother had a crush on the neighbor girl—Leon squeezed his cup again. It wasn’t the title. He needed to know that. None of this was because of the title, it was—

“Hop, I don’t care that someone took my title. She beat me fair and square and what’s done is done.” He dragged out a long sigh before taking another sip of coffee. “I promise, it’s got nothing to do with that, I just—” He swallowed. “I just worry about you. You’re growing up too fast.”

For a moment, the only sounds that could be heard were the indistinct conversations going on in the background, the door chiming as another customer walked in, and the clinking of glass as some nearby couple enjoyed a pastry together. The two brothers sat at their small table huddled away in the corner, neither saying anything for a long while, and Leon wondered if what he said had only upset Hop even more, but when he finally drew his attention away from the ice melting in his cup, he saw a rather peculiar expression on Hop’s face.

He wasn’t upset, but rather, giving Leon one of those looks he often did when they were young boys. Back when the biggest drama of the day involved Leon accidentally stepping on Hop’s favorite toy and breaking it. Such a _tragedy_. It was one of those looks where he arched his eyebrows, eyeing down Leon in a way where he just knew whatever was about to come out of Hop’s mouth would be something—

“You’re sounding like Mum now.”

Like that.

It wasn’t a hostile jab, but one that made Leon roll his eyes and give him a teasing leer. “Are you calling me old?”

“I don’t have to call you old, you’re already acting like it.” Now, there was a mischievous sparkle in Hop’s eyes, one that Leon missed so much.

Taking a quick sip of his coffee, Leon leaned in, cupping his chin against his palm as he did so and rolling his eyes again. “If worrying about you makes me old, then I guess at this point I’m the same age as dirt.”

“You don’t have to worry so much, Lee. I’m not a little kid anymore.” As he spoke, Hop took a long gulp of his coffee, causing Leon to wonder if he was burning his tongue as he did so, but he had to muffle his snorting laughing when Hop drew back, only to reveal he had whipped cream stuck to the corner of his mouth.

“I don’t, really? Not even when you can’t even drink your coffee right, _Mister_ Hop?” He enunciated the word _Mister_ and, without even thinking, almost like it was second nature, Leon reached over, brushing the cream off Hop’s mouth with his thumb before drawing it back and licking it. “Only kids eat like that.”

There was a brief moment when Hop stared at him—just stared, and it took Leon way too long to realize only when Hop said, “What’d you do that for?” and it hit him he just licked cream off Hop’s mouth. In public. Right in front of Hop. Without even thinking about it.

Needless to say, his face heated up, but he fumbled on his words, trying to think of some excuse, like it was just a joke, quit taking it so seriously, or he was just teasing him. “They didn’t get my drink sweet enough. Figured I’d steal some of yours since you’re hogging all the cream.” The more he tried to make it out like it was some over the top joke, the more it seemed Hop was buying it. That incredulous stare from earlier was overshadowed by his smirk when he scooted his cup close to Leon.

“You could have just asked, you know.”

At least Hop wasn’t pressing him on why he just did that—and why did he do that? Leon was sweaty, angry at himself for doing something like that in a public setting, without even thinking. Someone might see and misinterpret that, but he tried to shrug it off like Hop was shrugging it off. Maybe he’d just think Leon was being weird or hopefully he thought he did it on purpose just to fluster him. Either one would work better than thinking Leon was a pervert.

Still, face ablaze, Leon gratefully took the rest of the cream that hadn’t melted in Hop’s coffee, scooping it out onto his ice before they both settled back down, and the awkward tension from earlier slowly faded away until it was nothing.

* * *

By the time they had finished up dallying around in Motostoke, the sun was just beginning to set on the horizon, bringing with it another barrage of storm clouds. Leon’s face scrunched up in distaste. He didn’t dislike the rain, but he couldn’t exactly say he was thrilled about it either. Though, maybe he could use the storm as an excuse to watch scary movies with Hop. They hadn’t huddled down together under the blankets like that since they were young, and with the incoming rain, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to do so.

Although.

His face grew hot. If Hop agreed to something like that, he might not be able to control himself anymore. Doing what he did today in the café, wiping cream off Hop’s mouth and just— _licking_ it right off like it was second nature—Leon was still flustered every time he thought about it. He could beat himself up for that all day long, but the fact of the matter was he _did it_. He did it without even thinking. The fact Hop brushed it off was a stroke of luck and he was _not_ going to try that luck any further, despite how much he wanted to.

By the time they returned home, tired from walking all day and the rather droning train ride back, the rain had just started, only picking up further once they were safely inside the house. Mum awaited the boys with open arms, giving Hop a pat on the back as he pulled his coat off. “Thank goodness you boys made it back before the storm. They’re saying the rain might freeze overnight.”

Ugh, Leon groaned as he too took his coat off. He wasn’t the biggest fan of the cold weather, but he could deal with it, especially when he was out with Charizard. Being around that flame so much made him used to the heat, which only in turn made him more sensitive to the cold. Just as that thought crossed his mind, Leon took note of the day it was. He’d been home all weekend, agreeing to stay for a bit until he got over his ‘ _sickness’_ , but he knew nobody at the Wyndon Battle Tower would really mind all that much if he stayed home for the whole week. He hadn’t planned on it at first, but—

His gaze landed on Hop as he fought to no avail when their mum insisted she fix his hair.

Plans changed. It might not have been planned, but he really didn’t want to go back anyway. Leon wanted to spend as much time with his brother as he could. Then, a thought crossed his mind.

What if Hop came to Wyndon with him? Leon had a nice apartment over there, it was suitable for more than one person, despite the fact he lived alone. He could accommodate Hop if he chose to visit him. Come to think of it, Leon realized he never once asked his brother if he wanted to come stay with him. But, Leon swallowed at the thought, because he knew exactly what was going to happen if he managed to get his brother alone with him.

Palms sweaty, Leon tried to quell those thoughts that were rising again, even though he was failing, he wanted so, _so_ bad for Hop to come to him, smile up at him, climb in his lap and give him a kiss. He wanted so bad to know what he tasted like, how eager he would be if he were to do that, tease him, grind into his pants to make Leon hard, and give him that flirty smile that he knew would drive him _wild_.

So lost was Leon in these fantasies, he didn’t realize Mum was calling him. “—ey? Are you alright?”

Leon was snapped out of his thoughts, just as a rumble of thunder sounded overhead, causing him to blanch back at both the sound of that and the concerned faces of his mother and brother. Had he really been standing there spaced out thinking about Hop getting him off? For a moment, he worried he might have gotten hard just from the thoughts, but a glance out of the corner of his eye told him he was safe. “Sorry, what?”

“Are you still under the weather, dear?” Mum moved in to place her hand against his forehead, drawing back when she made a small gasp. “You do feel a bit warm still.”

Hop bounced up next to him, shooting Leon that disappointed but concerned face. “Lee, you still don’t feel good? And you went out with me today anyway?”

“I’m fine, I promise.” He gave Hop a small smile. “Probably just a bit tired from all the running around.”

“You could have said so if you needed a break.”

“Nonsense. I had fun today.” Maybe a little too much fun, he thought, as he sidled past Mum and began the ascent upstairs. “Probably will lie down though, just to be safe.” Although sleeping was the last thing on his mind, Leon splashed water on his face while in the bathroom before changing into a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. He not so gracefully floundered down on his bed and pulled out his phone, noticing he had a text from Raihan. Really, that asshole was going to wait until _now_ to text him about not being at the tower?

Rolling his eyes, Leon shot him back a quick reply that basically said he was going to stay home for awhile, before getting an almost immediate reply that said no problem, followed by an even faster snapshot of Raihan himself giving him a thumbs up. Seriously, that guy stayed on his phone too much.

Leon rolled over to his side, pulling up the latest series of videos from the Battle Tower. There were a few news stories on him, but nothing he felt was even worth mentioning on the news. There was some weird tabloid piece about him having a mistress he was keeping from the public, but even his fans knew that wasn’t very likely. Leon was much too focused on his career to be a skirt chaser.

Besides—

He swallowed, eye glazing over his phone when he stopped processing the texts on the screen. Besides, he would be lying if he denied these thoughts he was having for Hop. How in the world did he even explain that? He was still trying to deny it himself. No, he was _not_ having sexual thoughts about his little brother. No, he was _not_ sexually attracted to his _little brother_. All he did was have a one time fluke where he masturbated to him—but that wasn’t the end of all things. A lot of people had weird thoughts every once in awhile, and they went away just as soon as they appeared. It was nothing more than some obsessive thought crisis he was going through, and absolutely nothing more.

Even as the hours ticked by, the storm outside reaching its peak when the wind picked up enough Leon could hear it howling outside his window, even as the rain pelted against the glass, the lightening streaked across his floor, Leon denied it. He would deny it until the day he died and he denied it as he lay there on his phone, trying his hardest to distract himself. But, it didn’t work. Every video he watched, every article he read, every social media post from his friends he read was just empty space that occupied his mind. The voice in the back of his mind egged him on. He knew he yearned for it. He knew without a shadow of a doubt what he wanted.

It was coming around midnight then, and Leon hadn’t moved from his bed. The rain had lightened up considerably from outside, but other than the occasional streak of lightening, it appeared to be passing by, if not leaving Postwick a little worse for wear. He put his phone face down on his blanket before leaning up from bed. It was awfully quiet in the house, save for the storm outside, but there were no signs anyone was still awake, so he stood from bed, the carpet below his bare feet feeling so much more prominent for some reason.

A streak of light came from the storm outside, momentarily lighting up his room, especially on his snapback collection. He caught sight of it before trailing his gaze over his desk, and finally back to his own bed.

What…the hell was he doing?

Looking down at his own hands, Leon could feel his chest tightening at the thought, the thought that he was about to sneak back into Hop’s room and— He shook his head. This needed to stop right now. He didn’t come all the way down here to creep on his brother the entire week while he slept.

But, that nagging voice told him it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that while he was gone, Hop began to develop feelings for someone, and it killed him. He never knew finding out Hop was actually interested in other people would destroy him this much. Where was that little kid who idolized him? Who hung onto his every word like it was the absolute truth? Who came to him in the middle of the night because of a nightmare he had?

Where was that look in his eye that suggested he wanted this too?

Hands shaky, Leon crept out of his room, into the dark hallway. There were absolutely no lights on in the house, but he didn’t need them. He already knew where everything was by heart, and he had no problems opening Hop’s door, as quietly as he could. Maybe some part of him kept thinking if he indulged himself a little longer then this feeling would go away. If he gave into his desires and just got them out of his system, he would go back to normal, and everything would be fine again.

Yeah, he had to keep telling himself that. This was all for Hop’s own good anyway. If Leon left it alone and ignored it, he knew it would only get worse.

Once again, Hop was curled into a ball, legs wrapped around his blanket which only created disarray. He wasn’t actually hurting his brother, right? He was sleeping. He’d never know. Never know as Leon crept across the floor, using the sounds of the storm outside to his advantage when he could risk it. The thunder could only cover up so many of his footsteps, so much of his heavy breathing, he ended up covering his mouth.

And he was already hard. Just the sight of Hop flopped over onto his side, slack jawed and unaware of his presence. It made Leon’s heart race. This was wrong, he knew it, but he had stopped trying to reason with himself, stopped trying to make so many excuses that didn’t even make sense. Because, the truth was right in front of him, whether he liked it or not. And the truth was, he was lusting after his brother. Here he was, standing in his bedroom, right above his bed, watching him snore and twitch in his sleep, and Leon was hard.

He couldn’t take it anymore. One more time, just one more time and he would never, ever darken Hop’s doorway again. The thought only compelled him to drop to his knees, quietly as he could, and touch himself through his boxers. Hop’s sleeping face was so serene, and Leon felt lucky to have gotten to see his brother like this so many times. It was the most vulnerable he’d ever been, and Leon was able to indulge as long as he wanted, as long as he was quiet, as long as he—

He made a strangled moan, but covered his mouth, worried for a moment Hop might have heard, but he never moved. Hop was such a deep heavy sleeper after all. Leon used to always joke as kids that someone could blow up his bed and Hop would still sleep through it. Memories like that were always replaced by fantasies of him giving Leon that flirtatious smile, dipping his shirt down to expose his shoulders, just doing the bare minimum that he knew would get him going. He knew exactly what to do—what to say, how to say it.

The thunder rumbled overhead, shaking the house for a brief moment, and Leon froze as he watched Hop shift in his sleep. Hand still on his dick, Leon bit his bottom lip, heart racing when Hop merely flopped onto his back, mouth agape and legs falling out of his blanket even more. He could see the boxers he was sleeping in, and they were too loose on him. Leon almost made a groan of disappointment at the sight. He would have loved to have seen him in a pair of underwear, or better yet—nothing at all. Hop really did try and replicate everything Leon did, even when it came to the underwear they wore. He would have laughed at it, had he not been struggling to keep as quiet as possible while he touched himself.

Hop’s current position may have been the driving force of it all, but Leon became sweaty. Way too sweaty. Seeing Hop like that, flat on his back, hands splayed out, as if just _begging_ Leon to crawl on top and grab both of them, was driving him crazy. But, Hop needn’t beg him. Leon would have gladly given him anything he wanted. He would have gladly degraded himself if Hop wanted him to. If Hop was the one giving him the orders, Leon knew he would have gotten on his knees and obeyed like a dog.

If only Hop would understand how badly Leon wanted him. It would make him so happy, it would fill any emptiness he ever thought about having, if Hop just lifted his face, kissed him, and ordered him to fuck him.

It might have been out of instinct, but Leon knew it was desire more than anything, when he slowly drew himself into Hop’s bed. He was careful, so careful, but so hungry for him, he couldn’t stand this any longer. If Leon went without this, he knew he might starve so bad that he would end up doing something far worse. With Hop lying on his back, Leon carefully, as carefully as he could muster, crawled onto the bed.

One knee on first—and did Hop look so sexy in that black tank top he was wearing.

The other knee second—he wasn’t stirring. Oblivious to any of Leon’s movements as he crawled on top of his brother, positioned in such a way he had both hands on either side of him as he hovered over his brother’s much smaller frame. He could bend down if he wanted and kiss him.

But, now that he was in position, his desire was too much, it was almost painful how badly he ached for this. Still slow and deliberate, Leon moved himself, leaning into Hop as he did so, so that his erection pressed against Hop’s crotch. It may have been covered by his boxers and blankets, but Leon _did_ feel him, and when he did, when he felt that intimate part of his brother he knew he was never supposed to feel, he let out an involuntary moan, quickly reaching up to cover his mouth and stared up at Hop’s sleeping face, just waiting for that moment he opened his eyes and saw what he was doing.

But, a part of Leon wanted him to see. He wanted Hop to wake up, to see him above him like this, and he wanted so badly to see that look in his eyes when he realized—he wanted this too. Leon wanted his brother to lie back, offer himself up, and allow Leon anything he wanted to do, all with an inviting smile on his face. It would be so much better than this.

The thoughts still buzzing in his head, Leon again pressed against him, grinding his erection against Hop’s bulge. His brother let out a soft exhale below him, and Leon thought he was going to lose it then. This was dangerous what he was doing, and he knew if he kept going that Hop would wake up. If he bailed now, he might could still save himself, rush back to his room and finish there, and Hop would be none the wiser. If he crawled off him _right now—_

Hop shifted below him, and in doing so, ended up grinding right up against him, causing Leon to almost lose his composure completely. His brother had absolutely no idea what he’d just done, but he gave into his desire then, grinding back against him, and moving against him so rough, Hop was rocked back against the bed. Leon watched as his brother’s eyes fluttered open, as he was still grinding against him, not bothering to hide it anymore. Let Hop see him, let him see how he really felt, and please, just _please_ let him understand Leon’s feelings and why he was doing this.

There was a moment where Hop’s eyes were still glazed from sleep, and he stared up at his brother in a daze, unfocused and still half asleep. Leon didn’t bother to stop what he was doing. In fact, having Hop look at him with that face only fueled him to go harder and he almost came in his pants when Hop made a sharp inhale as he grinded against him.

“L…ee…?”

“Shh.” This was because he loved him. That’s why Leon was doing this. He gave Hop a soft smile as he once again brushed up against his crotch, and when he did, Hop let out a choked breath.

“Wh-what are you doing?” His voice, still groggy from sleep, had a slight panicked tone to it, but Leon continued to move, hold back his orgasm so that he didn’t come too soon. Little by little, Hop was coming from sleep, and little by little, his once glazed over eyes were becoming more and more wide with horror.

“Don’t yell, okay? We don’t want to wake up Mum.” When he brushed back against him again, not at all being bashful about grinding his full length against him, Hop inhaled before reaching up, grabbing hold of him by his forearm.

“Lee, get off righ—” As he spoke, Leon brushed back against him, and he could feel it this time when his brother got hard beneath him. His breathing was becoming choked and labored, like he was holding back the urge to scream his lungs out, but Leon flinched when he felt his brother’s nails dig into his arm.

“Not so hard, Hop. Let go of my arm.”

“Get off me.” That glazed look was no longer in his eye, but Leon saw the terror fill them the wider they got, the more he allowed himself to give in. How wonderful it was to see Hop like this, wriggling beneath him, hard beneath him. He knew it, he knew he’d love it. But, his voice was dripping with horror and he did all he could to try and calm him down.

“Don’t be scared. It’s okay.” He spoke as soft and gentle as he could, slowing down his movements so that he wasn’t so forceful, but that was only making his orgasm ache as he wished he could fuck him hard right now. He had to be careful, or he might just do that. “If you’ll just move with me, I can—”

“Get _off!_ ” The sound of Hop’s voice ringing out loud—much louder than Leon had anticipated, made him jump at first, but he reached out before his brother could say anything else and pressed his hand firmly over his mouth, muffling whatever it was he had to say.

“Shh! Mum is sleeping.”

Still wriggling below him, he felt the force of Hop trying to wring his head back and forth to get him off, but he didn’t dare move his hand. He pressed his hand so far against him, now _he_ was digging his nails into his brother’s face, but he was trying so hard not to do that. Hop wasn’t giving him a choice. If he yelled like that, he would wake Mum up, and if she walked in on them now, it would look so horrible to her, even though Leon knew the truth.

As he thrashed below him, Hop took his free hand and reached up, trying to pry Leon away from him by nabbing his wrist, all the while, Leon straddled him from below, holding him down by his weight as he grinded into him when he could. But honestly, the way Hop was moving below him, he ended up doing the work for him. When Hop pulled at his wrist to no avail, he inadvertently bucked his hips against him, and Leon moaned when he did, because it _felt so good when Hop touched him._

“Hop, don’t—mm—” He couldn’t even get his words out to tell him if he did that, he would come right there, but it was becoming harder and harder to fight it. Especially with Hop bucking into him like that. Leon could still feel he was hard, and he wanted to help him with it, but Hop was making it so difficult. “Stop moving like that, or I’ll come.”

Immediately, Hop fell lax beneath him, which Leon didn’t expect if he was being honest. Still looking up at him with wide eyes, breathing heavy through his nose, Leon wanted to comfort him, calm him down, and let him know this was okay.

He also stopped moving, even though he really didn’t want to. His body ached for the release he was so desperately craving right now and to deny himself that, it was painful. But, he had to if he wanted Hop to cooperate with him.

“Okay.” He leaned over, getting his face a bit closer to Hop’s and spoke softly to him. “You promise you won’t scream when I let my hand up?”

Eyes still wide, Hop stared up at him for what felt like way too long before slowly, very slowly, nodding his head. Leon gave him a smile, and wished he could kiss him, but he held back.

“Alright. You promised. If I take my hand up and you yell, I’ll use something else to quiet you.” That seemed like such a horrible thing to say, but Leon wouldn’t do anything bad to his brother. If it was just to quiet him, he would use whatever he could, but he was in so deep right now, running on pure desire, and he honestly didn’t care if he had to resort to silencing his brother with gags if it meant getting off.

Hop’s eyes flashed with a look of worry at Leon’s rather vague threat, but he didn’t move, didn’t make any attempts that he would fight or scream. So, slow and deliberate, Leon released his nails, already noting the indentions in Hop’s face and swore to himself how he tried so hard _not_ to do that, and gently lifted his hand away from his brother’s mouth.

His lip quivered and for a moment, Leon thought he might start crying, but all he did was let out a shaky breath, eyes wide and never once left Leon’s own. He thought he might not speak at all, but just as he was about to start moving into him again, to get at least some reaction, Hop finally spoke.

“L-Lee?” He’d never heard his brother’s voice so shaky before, and knew he was trying his hardest to hold back sobs.

“Yes?” Gentle, as gentle as he could, Leon smiled down at him. Even when he was terrified, Hop looked so cute like this. He couldn’t help but blush at it.

“P-please get off me.”

“Right.” Leon nodded. “I probably should have woken you before doing this. But, you have to understand how hard it is to hold back when you’re sleeping.”

A much more strangled gasp this time, but Hop didn’t waste any time. “Wh-wh-Lee?” His eyes said it all when they bore into Leon’s.

“Yes?” He would be as patient as possible until he calmed him down. He realized he was in a rather vulnerable position, straddling him, holding him down with his weight as he was practically sitting on him at this point, but he tried to offer him some form of comfort, no matter how small right now, when he reached up to grip onto Hop’s hand and offer a reassuring squeeze.

Hop did not hold him back, but remained lax. Again his lip quivered, but he spoke, a more rattled tone than he’d had before. “Lee, if you’re—if you’re mad at me, I understand.”

Mad at him? What in the world was he going on about?

“But.” He blinked, and Leon saw the line of tears, just threatening to fall at any second. “Please, I’m begging you to get off me.”

“Why would I be mad at you?” This couldn’t be about the— “Are you still thinking I’m upset about the title loss?” Leon closed his eyes, letting out a breath through his nose. Of course Hop would think that. He hadn’t done the best job of holding back his jealousy after all. Leon didn’t want to admit it, least of all to Hop, that he was jealous of Gloria, but if Hop thought he was mad at him then…

“You’re…” Hop swallowed, as if saying the words were more difficult than anything. “Are you going t-to sl…” He trailed off, swallowed again, and finally turned his face away from Leon where he could see the gushing red of his face so much now.

“Am I going to what?” Again, he squeezed Hop’s hand to try and reassure him, but he remained motionless below him. The silence became too long for him, and Leon finally leaned into him. “Hop, am I going to what? You can say it, I promise I won’t be mad.”

Hop barely parted his lips to whisper out the words, “Sl…eep with…” before he closed his mouth again, face burning.

Sleep with? “Sleep with you?” Leon finished, wondering if that’s what he meant.

Slamming his eyes shut, Hop forced a slow nod, and Leon had to laugh. He knew his brother was probably thinking the worst of him now, but he expected that. “Well, I’d love to actually.”

Not a second those words left his mouth then Hop’s eyes snapped open and he whipped his head back up to stare at him, looking at him in what Leon could only assume was absolute terror.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to sleep with you, Hop.” He knew his brother was just too shy to ask him if he had any intentions of fucking him. Probably thinking Leon was upset about something, or angry about the title. He had no idea where he got that idea from, but nothing about what he was doing was out of anger.

“Then, why are you doing this? Why won’t you get off me?” There was the weakest of protests from Hop then, where he twitched his hand slightly, as if that would make Leon stop holding onto it, but he only tightened his grip when he gave his brother a smile, and a warmth piled into his chest then.

“Because I love you.”

Hop seized up below him, where Leon could feel his entire body grow stiff at the confession. He already knew what kind of love Leon meant. He didn’t need to explain it to him, not when he was hovering over him like this, cheeks softened by the blush at the sight of his brother’s face.

But still, he watched as Hop bit his bottom lip, eyes darting back and forth, like he was trying so hard not to make eye contact with him, and he finally settled on focusing on his window where the rain continued to pelt the side. “I-I love you too, Lee.”

His chest swelled, his desire returning full swing, and he began slowly grinding into him yet again. But, when he moved, Hop moved too, flinching back when he did so.

“B-but, I don’t—” Another sharp inhale. “I don’t want to do this.”

“It’s okay, I won’t hurt you.” Again, he pressed against Hop’s bulge, causing the blush to streak across his face.

“No, I don’t—Lee, get off me, please. I don’t want to do this with you.”

“Why?” It was a simple question, but one he asked with patience, even as he moved back against Hop, causing another intake of breath.

“Because I’m uncomfortable.”

Leon smiled, wishing he could lean over to kiss him, but he would hold off on that for now. “It’s just me though.”

“But, Lee…” Hop trailed off, eyes darting anywhere and everywhere but Leon’s. “You already know that I like—” Before the words he knew Hop was about to utter even escaped his mouth, he had his hand back over him, silencing him.

He wasn’t mad. Never mad at Hop. Just. Just wanted him to understand where he was coming from. Why he was doing this. Just wanted him to see how much he loved him and how much he’d taken him for granted.

“I already told you.” His smile was no longer gentle, but he couldn’t help the wave of emotions rolling through him right now. It wasn’t his interest to be rough with Hop, but if he gave him no choice tonight, he might just talk himself into doing something he regretted. But what he really couldn’t handle right now was hearing that name. That fucking girl’s _name_. “You can’t be with her.” As he spoke, he rubbed his length against Hop, gaining a muffled involuntary moan from his brother, and when he heard that, Leon quaked above him, feeling precum stain his pants.

When he removed his hand again, Hop only stared up at him, that same terrified look on his face. “Lee, get off me.” That pleading look. “Please. I’m tired. I want to sleep.”

“I’ll leave.” Reaching down, he linked his fingers in between Hop’s, bringing his hand up with him to gently rub his lips along the knuckles, gaining a harsh shiver from Hop below him. “But, you have to touch me. Then I’ll leave.”

“No.” The reply was instant, if not a little curt as well.

Leon shrugged, not releasing his hand just yet. “That’s fine. But, I’ll just have to stay and get us both off then. You’ll love it, I promise. We can both come together.” As he said this, he raised Hop’s shaking hand to his lips before giving him a soft kiss on his knuckle.

Hop’s face drenched with blush and he drew his hand back as if he’d touched fire, holding it close to him so that Leon couldn’t grab it again. “Lee.” And his voice—it ached Leon to hear him sound so scared like that, because he was just trying to comfort him. Maybe he had teased him a little too far, but this entire endeavor had been to show him he wasn’t going to hurt him. “Lee, would you really—are you really going to—” He couldn’t even get the words out.

Leon said nothing, as he already knew what his brother meant. But, as a reply, he gave him a soft smile before trailing his hands down to his brother’s boxers, pulling back the elastic. Hop watched him, frozen, as if more out of morbid curiosity than anything, but the second Leon reached down into his pants and grabbed his erection, Hop let out a yelp, thrashing back and forth to make him stop.

“Don’t touch me!”

“Shh, don’t wake Mum!” He was about to cover Hop’s mouth again, but he didn’t have to.

Lowering his voice, eyes slammed shut, Hop nodded. “Alright, I-I’ll do it. Just…don’t touch me again.”

That’s all he needed to hear. Smiling, Leon removed his hand from Hop’s boxers and reached up, taking hold of the hand he had wrenched away from him earlier, and he once again linked his fingers through, straightening Hop’s hand out before bringing it to his face and pressing Hop’s palm against his cheek. “Don’t be scared, okay?” He looked down at him through lidded eyes, smiling, hoping that Hop could feel the warmth of his face, the tickle of his facial hair, and realize this wasn’t anything scary.

But, even with his best efforts, Hop refused to meet his eye, instead focusing his attention on the window, on the rain that cascaded down.

“I’ll help you. You don’t have to do it by yourself.” He waited for some kind of affirmation, something to let him know when it was okay to start, but all he received from Hop was a slow, solemn nod. But, it was good enough. “Okay. Don’t be scared.”

Gently, very deliberately, Leon guided his brother’s hand down his chin, his throat, stopping at his collar bone where he shivered at the feeling of his nails scraping just gently enough not to scratch, and he closed his eyes, not believing he was finally doing this. Though, he wished Hop would be more willing to engage, but he understood it being his first time, he wasn’t sure what to do, but that’s what Leon was for. To help him. Help him understand this wasn’t something scary at all, but something that could feel good.

When he trailed his hand down past his chest, to his navel, he felt Hop grow stiff below him once again, and for a moment, noticed he wasn’t breathing at all. He had sucked in air at one point, but Hop was motionless underneath him, and Leon stopped right as he guided his hands to the elastic band of his boxers. He was so close to touching the tip of his erection, he knew once he actually grabbed hold, he would probably come way too fast, but he swallowed as he fought hard to hold off on that. It was too soon. But, he looked up at Hop one last time, wishing his brother would at least look at him so he could see that everything was okay.

“Almost there.” Everything was okay.

He pulled back the elastic.

“You’re doing so good, Hop.”

Everything was wonderful. So wonderful. Leon’s desire had peaked and he was finally showing Hop how good this could be.

When the tip of Hop’s fingers brushed against his length, Leon let out a moan. Hop’s fingers were cold, but he didn’t care. He shivered at the feel of them, wishing Hop would take over for him and jack him off until he was dry, but he had made it apparent he was not going to move unless Leon guided his hand for him.

Still, he was lost in the feeling. And had to snap himself out of it to remember to move Hop for him, even as his brother’s expression seemed to have faded away with the movements. His brother looked so far away, his face relaxed, but no longer looking at…well, anything. His eyes were unfocused, his breathing had softened, but was strained, and he remained stiff underneath him, never once moving a muscle.

Leon couldn’t even begin to think what was going through his mind right now, so he focused on pumping himself, guiding Hop’s hand up and down, gathering the precum that had leaked out to give him a little extra lube as he moved up and down. The more he felt Hop’s hand on him, the harder it got to hold off his orgasm. Just the feeling of Hop’s hand on him made him insane, and he moaned as he pumped, wishing Hop would at least move his fingers a little on his own. Leon was doing all of the work, but he tried to tell himself it was okay. It was Hop’s first time, of course he would be a little apprehensive and not engage all that much.

He hoped that changed soon.

With his orgasm growing with every pump, Leon reached up with his free hand to pull his boxers down over his erection. It was getting harder to guide Hop’s hand with it in the way, but now that he was free, it was much easier to pump himself the way he wanted, and he tried not to moan so loud as he did so.

Just having Hop’s hand against him like this, it was one of the best feelings and he could not _wait_ until his brother got comfortable enough with this to experiment with other things. There was so much he wanted to do, he was about to explode, in more than one way. He wanted Hop to get used to this, so that he would realize it wasn’t scary, but something fun that felt good. He wanted to hold him down and kiss him and he would have—he would have absolutely done that right now if he wasn’t fighting so hard to hold back on doing the things he truly wished he could do.

If he let go of himself and did that, he might end up hurting him though. That was the last thing Leon wanted.

With a final pump, Leon couldn’t hold back anymore and allowed his orgasm to finally reach its peak. He let out a breathy gasp as he came, finally allowing himself release, and it felt amazing, so amazing, even as he continued to hold onto Hop’s hand, feeling the protest underneath as Hop tried to wrench his hand away, but he didn’t let go. No, he wanted to feel Hop’s hand and knowing he had his cum all over him only got him off that much more.

He must have gotten carried away, because it was far too late he realized as he pumped himself dry, the entire time Hop had been trying to pull his hand away, he had gotten it on his tank top in the process. Seeing his cum on Hop’s front made Leon let out a quiet laugh at the sight, even though Hop looked absolutely horrified by it, he couldn’t help but to laugh.

“Sorry. I think I got too excited.”

Again, he felt Hop seize up underneath him, but as he sat there, breathing heavy, trying to ride out his orgasm as long as he possibly could, Leon finally let go and Hop held out his hand, sticky with his cum and staring at it as if it was the most disgusting thing he’d ever laid eyes on. Leon noticed, and it hurt him a little to see such a reaction, but he tried not to dwell on it. The haze of orgasm never lasted long enough and he finally came down from his high, breathing heavy, sitting there and just breathing.

The only sound for a long while was the rain pelting the window, occasional rumble of thunder, and Leon’s breathing. That is, until Hop finally opened his mouth and spoke. “Lee?”

“Yes?” He looked down and smiled, because he was so happy. So, _so_ happy.

“Will you get off now?”

“Oh, sorry.” Fumbling, Leon tucked his dick back into his pants before climbing off the side and allowing Hop to move underneath him. The entire time Hop moved off the bed and stood, he held his hand away from him, trying not to touch anything, least of all himself.

“Thanks.” That thanks was one of the most hollow Leon had ever gotten from him, and he watched his brother walk across the room, out into the hall, and into the bathroom, all without looking back at him or saying much of anything.

As he crept out into the hall, Leon could hear the shower running from the bathroom and wondered why on earth Hop was taking a full blown shower. He’d had his mess on his hands, but—Leon tried to shrug it off. He was one to talk. He had taken a shower just from masturbating and feeling gross.

Wait—

Leon blinked, making his way back to his room to try and figure out a way to clean himself up now that Hop was in the bathroom. Did…

Did Hop feel gross because of that? Leon shook his head. No, he was probably just shy about the whole thing. After all, Leon knew he had come on strong, way too strong from the beginning. He couldn’t take the sneaking around anymore, and he knew that doing something like that and waking him up would be a shock.

That’s all it was. It was just the initial shock was all. He would come around. Leon knew it.

Even as the sound of the shower from across the hall and the rain outside melded together until Leon couldn’t tell which was which anymore, he could smile at the thought of Hop warming up to this eventually. He would see, he knew it.

He would see how much Leon loved him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter but i might start writing short ones for a bit but (shrugs) we’ll see
> 
> Thank you to everyone’s who’s commented, bookmarked, and left kudos. It makes me so happy seeing you guys enjoy this!! ;-; i really appreciate all of you and your support keeps me motivated to keep writing!

The chill in the air was the first thing Leon became aware of as he rolled out of bed that morning. One look out his window showed the rain had indeed frozen somewhat, and there was a prominent frost glazed around the glass. Ugh. He remembered Mum saying it was going to get cold, but he should’ve bundled up more after getting to bed last night. Only clad in a t-shirt and boxers, he was about to freeze.

Grumpy from the cold and desperate for some warmth, Leon dug around in his closet for a coat and some sweatpants to put on before making his way into the bathroom to wash his face, brush his teeth, and pee. Once he backed away from the toilet to wash his hands, he noticed something on the floor he hadn’t when he first walked in. There, piled into the corner, was a tight bundle of Hop’s clothes. It hit him then he remembered his brother had taken a shower after…well, after what had happened last night. Tentatively, Leon approached the pile of clothes and picked up Hop’s tank top he’d been wearing. As if compelled unconsciously, running on his desire and the growing warmth in his chest, Leon couldn’t help it when he held it to his face, inhaling the scent of his brother.

It was a light scent, but he could just make out the faint hints of his sweat on it, and it caused that tingly feeling to fall down into his stomach, but Leon quickly tossed the shirt back to the floor. It was way too early to be having thoughts like that, and besides—last night was weighing on his mind. He couldn’t get the way Hop look at him out of his head, and needless to say, it was bothering him. After all he did to try and calm him down, assure him he was not in there to hurt him, Hop still looked at him that way. He tried to reason with himself, say it was because he hadn’t done a good enough job of letting Hop know it wasn’t his intention to scare him—but, that’s exactly what he did.

Leon felt like an ass and not just felt like one. He _was_ one. To come onto Hop like that, allowing his feelings to take over rather than his rationale—no wonder Hop reacted the way he did. He should have slowly made his feelings known, gauged Hop’s reaction, and take it from there. But, even though he told himself that, that he could and would make this up to him, go about it more slowly this time, ease Hop into it, there was an overwhelming sense of dread in the back of his mind.

Because, even though he tried to deny it, he found that he loved the way Hop looked up at him, so helpless and vulnerable, that horrified look in his eyes—it hurt Leon, but he also loved it. His feelings were so muddled together, he couldn’t focus on just what exactly he wanted. There were too many things going through his mind to settle on what he should, or needed to do.

Leon wanted to hold him down and fuck him so rough that Hop was gurgling out screams—but, that was sick, he knew it was sick. Another part of him wanted Hop to dominate him, treat him like a dog and order him around, to which Leon would gladly agree to do. And, that tiny voice in the back of his head reminded him it would be so much sweeter if Hop were to look up at him with those big eyes of his and just—

Adore him.

Cherish him.

 _Worship him_.

God, did Leon want his brother to climb into his lap and go off about how much he loved him. Play with the collar of his shirt and run his slender hands down Leon’s broad chest, go on and on about how much Hop wanted to be strong like him, all the while he grinded his hips into Leon’s front. This Hop was so much more eager, and so much more forward, but Leon would love it. He would love every single minute of it.

Blinking, Leon hadn’t realized he was backed up against the sink, gazing off into space while his hand began snaking down toward his pants, but he brought himself back to real life. None of that right now. Sheesh, what the hell was wrong with him? Leon never remembered being this insatiable with his lust. He masturbated just like everyone else did, but he never had thoughts like these that led him to feeling like he couldn’t control himself.

He swallowed. He knew it was all because of Hop. Maybe it was a mistake coming down here and staying for the week, but what happened had already happened, and he was going to have to make it up to his brother for what he’d done last night.

Letting out a sigh, Leon braced himself. It would be okay. Maybe if he explained himself, Hop would understand and everything would go back to normal. That wasn’t going to happen, he knew, but if he put in a bit more effort to be nicer to his brother, maybe things would change for the better.

Standing up straight, Leon finally exited the bathroom, crossing the hall and stopped in front of Hop’s bedroom door. He paused for a moment when he lifted his hand to knock, but only for a moment. Biting his bottom lip, he knocked with his knuckle before gently calling out, “Hop?”

There was no answer, but he waited for a few seconds before trying again.

“Are you in there? I’m coming in.” Gripping the door handle, Leon let himself in, closing the door behind him, and stopped for a moment. It was just as cold in Hop’s room that morning as it was in his, and for a moment as he glanced over at the bed, he thought that his brother wasn’t there, but upon closer inspection as he strode across the room, could see the small bundle that was Hop curled into a tight ball, facing away from him.

Leon thought he might’ve still been sleeping and was going to leave and come back later, but he leaned over the bed to get a look at Hop’s face and was surprised to see his brother lying there, eyes wide opened as he stared at the wall next to his bed.

“Hop?” He moved in closer until he finally seated himself at the foot of Hop’s bed, reaching over to touch the side of his hip through the blankets. There was no denying that small intake of breath he heard and the way Hop seemed to stiffen at the touch. That was a bad sign, a very bad sign and it killed Leon to know he’d been the one to do this, but he sucked in air between his teeth before trying to speak as gently as possible when his brother reacted no further. “Hop, we need to talk.”

“Why?”

And his voice, his _voice_ was what made that feeling of rocks pile into his stomach and Leon found himself turning his head so that he wouldn’t have to look at his face. He sounded just like he had last night, his voice was so hollow, so void of emotion and anything, that Leon knew he had fucked up right then and there. “B-because I want you to know something.” He tried to remain strong, not freak out as he sat there, hand still on Hop’s hip, but when his brother moved below him, he finally turned back to face him, watching as Hop slowly leaned up in bed until he was backed against the headboard, avoiding Leon’s gaze all the same.

“What.” It wasn’t even a question, just a sound at that point.

Leon was trying his hardest to compose himself, but he never realized having Hop look at him that way—eyes so glazed and devoid of any of the light he used to have, his voice also quite zombie-like, but he cleared his throat, trying not to let it get to him. “You have to know, Hop. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you.”

A brief moment of silence, before Hop replied quite matter-of-factly, “You didn’t hurt me, Lee.”

Some hope swelled into his chest then, and Leon felt a wash of relief drown away some of that anxiety that had sunk into his stomach, but before he could begin to speak again, Hop cut him off.

“I just—” He squeezed his blankets in his hands, no longer looking at Leon, but the folds on his bed. “I just don’t understand why.”

“I already told you.” Before he could stop himself, Leon reached over and mussed Hop’s hair, gaining absolutely no reaction from him. “I love you, Hop.”

Hop closed his eyes, looking almost eerily serene right then, as Leon tried to calm any worries he might have had by gently running his fingers through his hair, but Hop didn’t appear to be quelled by any of that.

Finally, after a long bout of silence and Leon playing with his hair, Hop opened his mouth. “Brothers who love each other don’t do that.”

There it was. His hand stopped stroking Hop’s hair, and Leon pulled away from him, that tightening feeling growing in his chest once again. Of course Hop didn’t understand where he was coming from, or his growing desire. He just wanted him to see, understand why he loved him so much, but as he fought with the millions of thoughts buzzing around in his head, Leon couldn’t think of the right thing to say.

“You…” He was letting his emotions speak for him and not his rationale. Shit, he was doing it again. “Hop, you have to understand how I feel about you. I can’t help myself.”

Again, Hop tensed, one of the first reactions to anything Leon had seen for a long while as they sat there, but he didn’t look at him. “I don’t understand, Lee.”

It kind of broke his heart a little to hear that, but Leon wasn’t about to give up on him just because he didn’t understand where he was coming from, so he sucked in air before letting out a long exhale. “That’s okay. I don’t want to hurt you, Hop, all I want to do is make you feel good, like you make me feel good.”

The moment those words left his mouth, he noticed how Hop drew his legs up to himself, a quiet, almost strangled noise coming from the back of his throat, like he was trying not to choke on something. Even as Leon watched him, Hop never made eye contact, but he looked so, so small as he curled into a ball, eventually digging his face into his knees where Leon couldn’t see his face at all.

“Please don’t ever touch me again, Lee.”

Again, Leon was letting his desire and emotions talk for him, and he couldn’t help it when he moved himself further onto the bed, until he was leaning farther into Hop, closing the distance he’d created between them. “Don’t be scared of me. I promise I would never hurt you.”

“I’m not scared, I just—” Hop choked on his words when Leon reached over again, this time trying to gently pull his arms away from himself, but Hop wasn’t budging.

“Hop, do you think I would hurt you?”

He waited patiently for Hop to respond, but he did not.

Leon let out a sigh, releasing his brother’s arms as he was refusing to move. “Do you hate me now?”

His own words that he had spoken to Hop only days before echoed in the back of his mind, mocking him.

 _It wouldn’t be the same and you know that_.

Slowly, almost agonizingly slow, Leon watched as Hop drew his face away from his knees, and looked him in the eye. “I could never hate you, Lee.”

“Are you scared of me?” He asked, waiting, taking all the time he could to make sure Hop felt safe and secure around him. The last thing he wanted to do was destroy his brother’s trust in him.

When he didn’t answer, instead, dropped his knees back down, slumping against the headboard, Leon reached out again, this time grabbing both of his arms and pulling Hop back against him, until he was almost in his lap. There was little resistance from him, but Leon could feel him tensing up when he wrapped his arms around him.

“I would never, _ever_ hurt you.” He tightened his grip, just trying to reassure him.

For the first time since last night, he could hear his brother’s voice cracking and breaking as he tried so hard not to break down into sobs. “L-Lee, I don’t _want_ to do this.” There was the smallest of protests when he pushed against Leon’s chest to make him let go, but he didn’t waver.

“It’s okay.” Just a little push, just push him a little more and he would understand. “I promise it’s okay, Hop. I love you so much. I’m doing this because I love you. It’s not scary, and I’m going to be here with you, okay? I’m not going to do anything scary to you, I promise. I just want you to feel good.”

Hop let out a choked gasp, once again pushing against Leon’s front in order to make him let go, and Leon hated that the more his brother shifted and pushed him like that, the more dangerous he was making this situation. If Leon got desperate enough, he might do something horrible. If Hop didn’t just stop fighting like this and if he would just _understand_ , then Leon wouldn’t be growing desperate. The more Hop struggled to pull away, the more Leon tightened his hold, until he could hear his brother gasping for air as he was squeezed.

“Lee.”

He reached up to grab the back of his head, pulling his face into his chest as he shushed him. “Don’t be scared, Hop.”

“Please let go.” His voice was muffled against him, but Leon took to rocking back and forth with him. He would hold him as long as he needed to, as long as it took for Hop to understand. Even as he still felt the resistance from him, Leon rocked back and forth, rubbing the back of his head, down to his back where he drew circles with his hand to try and calm him down.

“I love you, Hop. I just want you to know that.”

Hop sucked in air, a gasping breath that caused Leon to release his hold somewhat so that his brother could breathe. He knew he was squeezing him too hard, but dammit Hop was making this so difficult. He hadn’t meant to upset his brother, but he wasn’t doing a very good job of making him feel better.

“Lee, _please_.”

At the way Hop sounded so pleading with him, his voice choking and cracked, Leon finally drew back, but reached up when he did to grab Hop’s face in his hands and pull him close, forcing him to look back at him. “Hop, I _love you_. I promise you I do.”

There were tears lined right in the corners of Hop’s eyes, but they didn’t fall. Leon had him so close to him, their noses almost touched, and he wanted so, so bad to lean in and kiss him, but he held back.

“You believe me, don’t you? You know that I love you, right?”

Only a tiny movement of resistance from Hop as he tried to pull his head away, but Leon kept a firm grip on the side of his face. Instead, he chose to trail his eyes down and when he did, he let out a soft sigh, but Leon could feel the resistance from him waning just ever so slightly. It was a long moment before Hop said anything, but Leon was patient even as he held him, wishing he would look him in the eye and just _understand_.

Finally, slowly, always so slowly, Hop closed his eyes, his lip quivering as if he was holding back the urge to cry, and he nodded.

“I won’t hurt you, okay?”

Another slow nod, and Leon could feel the heat from his face gushing out onto his palms as he held him.

“I’ll be here with you and I’ll make sure everything is okay. I promise I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to.”

Again, a slow nod, but this time, Hop opened his eyes, and Leon could see he had forced away the line of tears that had formed before. In his best attempts to reassure his little brother, Leon gave him a smile, released his face, and pulled him back into a much gentler hug.

“I love you, Hop.”

And this time, he could feel Hop’s arms, though shaky and stiff, reach around to hold him back, his fingers digging into the back of Leon’s shirt as he did so. Every little quake his brother made, Leon could feel, but he rocked him back and forth again, knowing eventually he would understand. He would make Hop understand this wasn’t scary and that he wasn’t scary. He was his big brother after all. Hop had to know it was still _him_ , still the same old Leon.

“I-I love you too, Lee.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t really know if this is considered grooming or not? So I’m a little hesitant to add that tag
> 
> Also, since the holidays are coming up, this may or may not be the last upload for awhile. I’m gonna be out of state visiting friends and family next week, so i probably won’t have any time to write but we’ll see! It could always change
> 
> But, with that being said, i hope you guys have a great holiday if you celebrate it!! Wishing you all pleasant memories and happy times to come. ❤️❤️


	6. Chapter 6

“Leon, do you mind coming in here for a moment?”

The sound of Mum’s voice brought Leon out of his rather trance-like state he’d been in from watching the telly, and he snapped back to reality at the sound of her voice. Well, it wasn’t like he was paying much attention anyway. He had phased out at some point when commercials started playing for the new restaurants, or even more commercials for the Battle Tower, but all in all, Leon wasn’t really watching the telly so much as looking at it flash stuff in front of his face. Just how long he’d actually been sitting there, staring off into space, he couldn’t say. 

Standing from his spot where he’d been curled up on the couch, he made his way into the kitchen where Mum’s voice had come from and found her seated at the table. She gave him a bit of a serious expression before gesturing he sit down, which was a little concerning in itself. Seating himself across from her, he propped his elbows up while waiting for her to speak.

“Can I talk to you about something?”

He nodded, tensing for a moment, just that small moment his stomach flipped, but he didn’t dare let it show. For some reason, no matter how old he got, every time Mum said that to him, Leon felt like he was in trouble.

“It’s about Hop.”

Leon had to force himself to look calm and collected, so he leaned in, pinching his brows as he looked at Mum. Surely, Hop hadn’t told her about— well, about all that was going on, had he? It was only yesterday Leon had held him in his arms, trying to coax him out of his anxious state, and assured him he would never hurt him. The rest of the day, night, and all till just now, he had allowed Hop the space he needed, not daring to push him in case his brother had a breakdown, but honestly, he didn’t even think of the possibility that he would have told their mother about this.

That sinking feeling crept into his stomach and he felt ill, but he tried his best to hold back his nerves. He tried to sound concerned and he really was, but not for reasons Mum probably thought. All he could think of was what the hell was he going to do if Hop actually told her? “Is he alright?”

“Well…” Mum looked down at her hands as she straightened herself in her chair. “I’m not sure. It’s probably nothing, but he hasn’t come out of his room since yesterday. I thought maybe he was sick, caught that bug from you, but he kept telling me he was tired every time I went up.”

Leon tried his best to nod and look understanding. It did nothing to soothe the twisting of his stomach, but he tried to ignore that. “I’m sure it’s nothing. Like you said, probably caught a bug.”

Mum gave him a smile. “Would you be a dear and make sure he’s okay for me? There might be something on his mind he doesn’t want to talk to me about. I’m sure he’ll talk to you though.” Leon’s chest swelled at that and he couldn’t help but smile back. Even in this situation, he couldn’t help but feel prideful, even though the voice in the back of his head was telling him after what he’d done, Hop wouldn’t ever look at him the same way again. Leon slowly blinked, trying to will away thoughts like that. He couldn’t afford to let his mind get away on him, especially in front of Mum. “You’re probably right, but I just hope nothing is wrong.”

“I’ll go talk to him.” As he stood from his chair, pushing it back before straightening it under the table, Mum let out a sigh.

“It’s such a shame. You rarely visit and both of you get sick while you’re down here. I can’t imagine how disappointed Hop is.”

It should have made him feel guilty, but Leon shrugged it off, trying to make light of the situation. “That’s the way it goes, I suppose.” Without another word to Mum, he turned the corner before ascending the stairs, crossing the hall until he was front of Hop’s door.

He didn’t even knock this time before opening and letting himself in, closing the door behind him, though it was not without hesitance.

“Hop?”

The small bundle that was Hop was curled up on the bed, back facing him, and as Leon approached, he couldn’t help but let out a sigh at the sight of his brother still quite motionless below the blanket and looking like he hadn’t moved since yesterday. This was nobody’s fault but Leon’s, but he couldn’t help but feel like—hell, like maybe _Hop_ could put in a little bit more effort to try and get out of bed? It wasn’t good for him to stay like this, even though Leon argued with himself that—it was his fault in the first place that his brother was even acting like this.

He shook his head. No, he was supposed to be giving him space, and he had. He hadn’t come back in here since yesterday morning, but _still_. He didn’t think Hop would still be in bed by now.

“Mum’s worried.”

No response. Should’ve expected that, but Leon let out a loud sigh and crossed his arms.

“Are you going to stay in bed all day?”

No response.

Again Leon had to sigh. Having Hop ignore him like this was starting to grate his nerves, but he wasn’t angry by any means. Never angry at Hop, but just— Just wished he would show some signs of life or something.

“You have to get out of bed eventually, Hop. Or are you actually sick?”

When he didn’t reply this time, not that Leon expected him to, instead of standing there and sighing, he leaned over the bed, crawling on top of Hop’s curled up body much like he had done a couple of nights ago. The second he had started to straddle him, Hop tensed below him before whipping his head up and leaning up part of his torso, giving Leon that wide-eyed look.

“D-don’t do that.”

“Oh, so you _do_ have life left in you.” That came out a bit nastier than he meant, but Leon was getting tired of being ignored. Hop could only push his patience so far before he had to take action, but he was pleased all the same to finally get _some_ kind of reaction from him. Even if it was this.

“Get off.” Hop’s voice was sharp and curt, but Leon arched his eyebrows at him, not moving and not planning to move.

“You’re worrying Mum, you know.” When he reached up to place his palm on Hop’s forehead, he flinched back, almost hitting the back of his head against the headboard, and Leon couldn’t help but let out a laugh at it. “I’m not going to bite you. I just want to see if you’re hot.” Though, seeing Hop still acting this way around him kind of…hurt a little. He had to keep telling himself it was going to be like this for awhile, and he might not even break any kind of boundaries for the rest of his stay, but Leon didn’t want to spend all week like this with his brother. If Hop didn’t start putting in more effort to understand this, then Leon was going to have to get tougher with him. It wasn’t like he wanted to get…well, _rough_ , but—

Seeing him like this, face red and eyes cast to the side as he avoided eye contact, Leon couldn’t help but feel compelled to just—hold him down, kiss him so hard he couldn’t breathe, and ravage him until Hop was moaning his name. Maybe then he would see. Maybe then he would understand Leon was serious, and his feelings were genuine and that he really did love his brother. That’s all he wanted him to understand.

But with Hop acting so scared of him, he was making Leon feel like such a monster. Why did he have to look at him that way? Why did he have to flinch away every time Leon so much as raised his hand up, like he was scared he might hit him? Hop knew Leon would never hurt him like that, he _had_ to know.

That nagging voice in the back of his mind couldn’t help but to think Hop was just playing up the dramatics. Maybe even teasing him or playing hard to get. Why would he be acting like this otherwise?

Leon bit his lip. No, that was horrible. How could he think things like that about his brother? Hop was just shy, that’s all. Just very shy about this type of thing and Leon had only himself to blame for coming on as strong as he did. He just needed to ease him into it a bit more and then Hop would come around.

He breathed. Yeah. He would come around.

As Hop leaned back against the headboard, Leon reached in and placed his palm on his forehead, noting how when he did, Hop’s cheeks flared red and he squinted his eyes shut, as if just this small gesture of Leon touching him scared him. He tried not to let it get to him, but dammit if he couldn’t just try and ignore things like that. There was no denying that look Hop had on his face. Not to Leon.

“You aren’t warm at all. When was the last time you ate anything?” He removed his hand and Hop let out a slow exhale, finally opening his eyes, but stared down at his blanket.

Again, he had reverted back to that not speaking stage and it was growing on Leon’s nerves. It was a simple question and he knew his brother was refusing to talk to him on purpose. Ever since they were small children, he would pout and grow silent if he was mad or upset about something, and this was no exception.

“Hop, when did you eat last?”

No response.

Finally, Leon felt he had been as patient as he could be right now, but he was sick of being ignored. Without warning, he leaned in and, to Hop’s sheer surprise and shock, kissed his brother right on the mouth.

The reaction was immediate. He would have loved to have stayed there longer, tasting Hop, enjoying how soft his lips were against his own, but Hop pulled away from him, scrambling his legs out of the blanket and almost toppling over the edge of the bed when he sat up, staring at Leon in utter horror while covering his mouth. The redness on his face was so prominent, Leon couldn’t help but think if he wasn’t hot before, he most certainly was now.

Leon smirked. “Well, considering you’re spry enough to move _that_ quickly, I’d say you aren’t sick.”

Hop said nothing, but continued holding his hand against his mouth before quickly looking away as he brushed his arm across, like that would wipe away Leon’s kiss. He had to throw his head back and laugh at that rather childish motion from him. He felt compelled to tell him _‘you’re only rubbing it in’_ , but restrained himself. Hop could be so adorable sometimes. It was hard to sit there on his bed, with Hop in front of him like this, face red, obviously flustered, when Leon wanted nothing more than to pull him in and _really_ kiss him. If he would let him do that—he pushed those thoughts away. Hop really did made his imagination run rampant. It was dangerous to be in here like this, on his bed, Leon almost on his hands and knees as Hop sat wedged up against the headboard. He could just— Leon bit his lip. He could just take him if he wanted. He really could, but he wouldn’t ever do anything like that to Hop. That was the last thing he would ever want to have on his conscious, knowing he’d held his brother down and fucked him. But…damn, did he want to.

“Let’s try this again. Did you eat?”

Hop looked up, arm still over his mouth, but didn’t respond. His eyes had that look of utter shock to them, and despite the fact Leon should have felt guilty over it, he couldn’t help but feel amused. There was just something so… _adorable_ about the way Hop reacted to being kissed. It was obvious he’d never kissed anyone before and that drove Leon wild.

So, he gave Hop a smile. “Since you’re so eager to stay silent, how about this.” He leaned in closer, just barely, but enough to close the distance and cause Hop to stiffen up against the headboard again. “Each time you refuse to answer, I get to kiss you.”

He couldn’t help the smile that grew when he saw how wide Hop’s eyes got, and he looked away from him, cheeks gushing red. Leon tried hard to ignore his growing desire. Hop had no idea what he did to him, but just acting this way, acting so shy around him, was killing him. He wanted to wrap his arms around him, hold him close, and make him blush so hard that his entire body turned red. He would kiss him all over, every inch of his body that was hot and shaking, and—

“N-no…” Finally, Hop opened his mouth, still covered behind his arm, but Leon could make out the muffled words.

“So, you haven’t eaten anything?”

He shook his head. “No…”

That was a bit disappointing. Leon almost wished he would have stayed silent so that he’d have an excuse to kiss him, but he shrugged. He started off losing his patience with him and ended up amused instead. “Then, I’ll bring you back something.”

“I’m not hungry.”

He frowned. “You _have_ to eat, Hop. I’m not taking no for an answer.”

“I _said_ I’m not hungry.”

Leon leaned forward onto his hands, until his face was so close to Hop’s, he had backed up as far as he could possibly go, and his brother stared at him with that utmost horror on his face, cheeks flared. “Do you want me to feed you then?” Leon smiled sweetly.

“ _No_ , Lee—” Hop pinched his eyebrows, eyes darting back and forth like he was having trouble trying to figure out what he should look at, but he ended up staring back at Leon instead. “I just want you to leave me alone, okay?”

“Why?” That hurt him more than Leon thought it would, and he could feel that pain in his chest beginning to surface just ever-so-slightly. When he reached up to run his fingers through Hop’s hair, his brother flinched, slamming his eyes shut before he had even touched him and there was no denying it.

He was terrified.

Leon’s heart sank. Hop was _terrified_ of him.

Was he really this scared because he had—Leon gulped, trying to reason with himself over what to do, but he came up empty. Refusing to come out of his room, staying in bed all day, even refusing to eat—Hop was doing all of that so that he wouldn’t have to run into Leon. This was his fault.

He dropped his hand back and let out a sigh. “Hop, I’ve told you a thousand times I’m not going to hurt you. What have I got to do in order to prove it to you?”

Hop opened his eyes slowly, face still red, but now looking at Leon and he couldn’t help it when his emotions started talking for him instead of the rational part of him.

“Why are you acting like I’m going to break you in half every time I try to touch you?” He was getting heated, shit, this wasn’t good, but he couldn’t help it. “I mean, do you really think I’d go out of my way to hurt you when I love you so much?”

Hop tensed, he could see it, he didn’t have to say one word to him, Leon knew exactly how he felt just by watching his body language and he wanted to grab the blanket between his fingers and squeeze until his nails broke through the fabric.

He _loved_ him. He did, he really did, he loved Hop, and dammit, he was going to _prove_ it to him. No matter how long Hop stared at him with that look on his face—that tired, scared look, like an abandoned animal, Leon felt his stomach twist into knots every time.

And he grabbed his arms, pulling him away from the headboard and before Hop could even open his mouth to protest, or pull away from him, he kissed him. There was resistance, but Leon let his emotions take over then and reached up, grabbing the back of Hop’s head to keep him from pulling away, and only kissed harder, letting his tongue out to taste his lips. Hop had his mouth clamped shut, but that didn’t stop Leon from licking his mouth. Even with Hop pushing against him, trying to pull away, Leon didn’t let up.

He was going to show him. He was desperate, he knew he was desperate, but he was only desperate to show his love, and he _would_. The moment Leon broke the kiss, Hop sucked in air, still pushing, but his voice—his voice cracked and Leon could feel his hands shaking as he gripped the front of his shirt, almost as if he was unsure what to even grab at this point.

“L-Lee, _please_.”

It almost sounded like an invitation, but Leon knew the truth. He knew his brother was begging for him to stop, if his face was any indication of how embarrassed he was, but that only drove him to go further. He barely gave him enough time to recover before he went in for another kiss, but this time, Hop jerked his head away and Leon caught the side of his jaw instead, but he didn’t mind. Even as Hop struggled and pushed against him, Leon kissed his face, leading down until he was at his neck and pressed his lips against Hop’s throat.

A gasp bubbled its way out and Hop had no idea, but the noises he was making were driving Leon insane. He wanted to hear more sounds like that, so he kept going, sucking his neck, kissing the crook of his shoulder up to the side, all the while Hop gasped and gripped hold of Leon’s collar, squeezing until it was digging into his neck. If he kept this up, Hop would accidentally choke him with his shirt, but Leon didn’t care.

When he kissed Hop’s throat, trailing back up to get at his mouth again, Hop froze below him for a moment, but when Leon brushed his lips against his mouth, he seemed to snap back to reality.

“Lee!” And his face was on _fire_. Leon had never gotten to see his brother so flustered like this so many times, but damn he enjoyed it way more than he should have. He couldn’t help the smile that curled on his face as he tried to pull him closer, get Hop into his lap, to feel him only struggle harder in his hold.

“You know, the more you wriggle, the more it turns me on.”

Never would Leon ever figure out why he felt the need to say that, but when Hop stopped moving, eyes wide and unblinking, he couldn’t help but feel satisfied by that reaction. It was cruel to treat Hop this way, but he found it more amusing than anything. To say something like that and get an instant reaction, it was becoming clear to him how to get Hop to behave so to say. He didn’t like thinking of it that way, but—

He smiled, noting how Hop didn’t move anymore when he placed both hands on his back this time and pulled him in just a bit closer. Not quite in his lap, but enough to close the distance. Hop was almost in between his crotch and _fuck_ did Leon want to pull him in so bad just to feel him. “I’m not trying to hurt you, Hop, for the last time. Why on earth are you freaking out like this?”

“Because I don’t _want_ to kiss you!” Hop had lowered his gaze, but he remained frozen, even as Leon took to running his thumbs in circles around the back of his shoulder blades to try and calm him down.

“Do you think I’m gross?”

Hop’s cheeks flushed. Still no eye contact. “ _This_ is gross, Lee.”

“No, it’s not. Kissing isn’t gross. You’ve kissed someone before, right?” He knew he was just teasing him, because of course Hop had never kissed anyone before, but he couldn’t help but ask. And somewhere deep down, Leon was thrilled to be Hop’s first kiss. Knowing he had taken that from him and Hop would never get it back—it made him incredibly happy.

Eyes still lowered, Hop pinched his brow. “No, but— ” Hop’s hands had been balled into fists on Leon’s collar the entire time they kissed, and he wasn’t letting go anytime soon. Leon knew he would have a strange wrinkle there he would have to come up with a lie about, but Hop released his grip slightly. Just slightly. “Lee, do you really— _really_ not think this is weird?”

“No.” He was only being honest. “What’s weird about loving your little brother?”

Hop tensed again, and Leon could feel his body begin to shake against him. “You don’t…” He closed his eyes, hands shaking harder. “This is something people who are in love do.”

“But I do love you.” He smiled as he said so, trying to pull Hop closer so he could kiss him again, but Hop had pressed his arms out against his chest, refusing to allow Leon any closer to his face than he already was. Every time he leaned in, he was met with a firm push.

He finally looked up at him beneath lidded, tired eyelids. It was only now that Leon noticed the bags under his eyes. Just how much sleep had Hop lost over all this?

“Lee, you know what I mean.”

Letting out a sigh, Leon pulled back for a moment, but didn’t dare let go of him. He knew the second he did, Hop would flounder back against the bed where he couldn’t get ahold of him, and if he really wanted, he knew he would end up getting rough with him. Why did he have to make this so difficult, though? Leon didn’t _want_ to get rough with him, but he couldn’t help it. Hop was making this so much harder than it needed to be.

“So, you’re embarrassed because we’re brothers, right?”

Hop said nothing, but for once, didn’t break his stare. He was looking up at Leon with the strangest, coldest expression on his face that he couldn’t read for the life of him. He wasn’t angry, or even upset, just…

Tired.

Leon sighed, being the one to break away from the stare for once and sucked in a breath. “Hop, you don’t have to be embarrassed. I’m not going to tell Mum and I’m pretty positive you don’t want to tell her either, do you? You know how she is. She would get angry, I’m sure.”

The fingers that were dug into his shirt front tightened just enough that Leon noticed.

“But.” Leon looked up. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s okay if you’re shy, because I’m pretty positive you’ve never done this with anyone before, right?” He smiled, watching as Hop’s face fell, eyes down casting before the blush reappeared on his cheeks. It shouldn’t have been as satisfying as it was to watch him do that, but he knew he was right. “Of course you haven’t. But, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“Lee, I don’t understand why—” Hop cut himself off, biting his lip, but Leon leaned into him, as far as he was allowed with Hop’s hands still pressed against his chest.

“Why what?”

Closing his eyes, Hop turned his face away before he spoke, voice quiet and almost a murmur. “Why you…want to do this with me.”

“I already told you.” Risking taking his hand off Hop’s back, Leon drew away just enough that he could reach up, mussing his hair and trailing his fingers through it. It was so soft beneath his hands that he didn’t want to let away from it. “I love you.”

“Why? Is there really no one else you fancy?”

“Well.” Leon had to take a moment and think about that. All those times at the Battle Tower, all those years he wandered around being the undefeatable champion, yes he’d be lying if he said there weren’t times when a few people caught his eye. Leon wasn’t a stranger to hookups by any means, but it never amounted to anything. It was always a physical experience, but never an emotional one. He’d never been in love before.

Even as he looked back down at his brother, at his reddened face and shaking palms, he knew without a doubt the person he was holding in his arms right now, mussing his hair and listening to his short quick breathing, he knew that he loved him.

Hop made him happy. Happier than he’d ever realized before. The times he’d taken him for granted, locked his presence away in the back of his mind to focus on his career—Leon would never do that again. Hop deserved so much better than that and if Leon had to prove his love to him, even if he was to resort to holding him down to do it, he would.

Leon shook his head. “I’ve never fancied anybody, Hop.”

“Why do you love me, then?”

The questions Hop was spewing at him were things Leon felt were obvious, to him anyway, but he had gotten his brother to talk to him more now than he had in the past day, so he wasn’t about to squander this. Maybe these were things Hop needed to hear, but he didn’t know.

“I wish I could make you understand.” Leon breathed in, closing his eyes for a moment before he exhaled. His hand was still in Hop’s hair, still stroking him, but Hop hadn’t moved much beneath him. “Hop, I’ve taken you for granted so much that I don’t want to do that anymore. That’s not wrong of me to appreciate you more, is it?”

To his surprise, Hop lifted his face, eyes still refusing to meet his, but it was a reaction at least. “I don’t…I don’t suppose so.”

Leon’s chest swelled and he couldn’t help himself. Having Hop let his guard down, distracted for a moment, he had inadvertently bent his arms he was holding at Leon’s chest, and he took advantage the moment he noticed. Leaning forward, Hop blanched back when Leon moved into his face to kiss him again, but just as fast, Hop reached up with his hand, pressing his palm against Leon’s mouth when he did so to stop him, pushing him back when he did.

“L-Lee, stop. I told you, I don’t want to kiss y—” Before he could even finish his sentence, Leon let his tongue out, dragging it up Hop’s palm and he yelped when he did, pulling his arm back like he’d touched a hot stove, his face on fire. He tried to slink back against the wall, but Leon still had a firm grip on his back and could feel the resistance as his brother pulled against him.

It was starting to annoy him just how much Hop was fighting him with this. This wasn’t anything bad—he wasn’t hurting his brother or doing anything _wrong_. Hop was just being dramatic.

“Hop, I’m going to do whatever it takes for you to understand.” He bit his bottom lip, trying to ignore the way Hop looked at him in abject horror. “I’ve already promised you I won’t hurt you. I would never hurt you, but.” Leaning forward, as far forward as he could now that Hop wasn’t pushing against his chest, he was so close to Hop’s face he could throw himself in and kiss him anytime he wanted. “I’m going to sit here all day with you if I have to until you understand that I wouldn’t hurt you. I’m going to _make_ you understand, no matter how much you fight or push me, I swear I’ll make you understand.”

With that being said, he wasted no time when he pulled the elastic band of his brother’s boxers back, and Hop was frozen in front of him for a split moment before reaching out and pushing against him again.

“Hop, I’m _not_ going to hurt you!”

“Lee.” His voice was rising in pitch, like he was seconds away from gurgling screams from his throat, but Leon was tired of being patient. “Lee, please.”

Ignoring his protests, Leon pushed away Hop’s hands as he fought against him, pushing at his chest, shoving his arm, trying to pry his wrists away from his boxers, but with every push and shove that Hop gave him, Leon only pushed back twice as hard.

“Be still, otherwise I might accidentally hurt you.” He was trying, he was trying so hard not to get rough, but with the way Hop was wriggling below him, now kicking at him with his legs, Leon was running out of options.

The moment his fingers managed to snake inside Hop’s boxers and he brushed against his crotch, Hop let out a loud, choked gasp. “Don’t touch me!”

“Hush.” Again, he ignored his protests and yanked down on his underwear, pulling the band down past his hips enough that Hop was exposed below him, and he only thrashed harder. The situation was starting to get out of hand and Leon knew if this kept up, he would end up holding him down and forcing him, or it would end with Hop screaming and alerting their mum.

“You don’t want Mum to hear, do you?”

At that, Hop’s struggles became a bit weaker, but it didn’t stop him from moving completely. But, enough that Leon could climb over his legs and hold him down so that he stopped kicking. If Hop would just lie there and let him work, he would show him this could feel good and it wasn’t anything scary.

As he pulled Hop’s boxers down, lifting off him enough to untangle them from his legs and toss them over the side of the bed, he finally looked up at his brother’s face. Hop may have stopped struggling, but he had the blanket below him in a firm grip, and Leon could see some of the blood had drained out of his face as he looked up at him. The stare in his eyes was one Leon couldn’t look at for long. Not with that look on his face. Not with his eyes so wide, Leon thought they might fall out.

Now straddling him, Leon tried to calm down enough to remember he had to be gentle with him. This was supposed to show Hop that what Leon was doing wasn’t scary or embarrassing or anything like that, but something to prove how much he loved him. He only wanted to do this so Hop would understand.

“L-Lee…”

His voice was so cracked, so on the verge of tears, that Leon couldn’t help but look up and it crushed his heart to see his brother so scared like this. Even from where he was, practically sitting on him as he held him down, he could see the line of tears gathering in the corner of his eyes. Hop blinked them away quickly.

“Lee, p-please don’t touch me. Please. I-I’ll do whatever you want, I-I’ll do what we did the other night, but—” He swallowed, trying to blink the remaining tears from his eyes before he looked back up. “D-don’t touch me. I-I don’t wanna do this.”

“Hop, I _swear_ to you that I won’t hurt you.” With his brother breathing so hard beneath him, looking up at him with that expression of horror on his face, Leon reached out, brushing his fingers against the side of Hop’s face, causing him to flinch. “I’m not going to go inside. I just—” He wanted to. Damn did he want to though. “I’m going to make you feel good. You’ll love it, I promise. Don’t be scared.”

With those words he hoped had left some sliver of comfort in Hop, Leon dragged his hand from his face to his brother’s t-shirt. He’d been wearing the same t-shirt since yesterday, and it only reminded him that Hop hadn’t been out of bed since the day before. Biting his lip as he lifted the edge of his shirt up, exposing Hop’s stomach and causing him to gasp, Leon knew he could have put a little more effort into comforting him. He had tried giving him space but it only seemed to make things worse.

This wasn’t how Leon wanted things to go. He didn’t want Hop scared of him like this. He didn’t want his brother staying in bed all day, refusing to eat, refusing to move, all because of him. He was a giant ass for coming onto him like that, when he knew he should have quelled his desire from the start and eased into it. This all led back to Leon being pushy with his feelings and not giving Hop enough time to get accustomed.

And now, as he lifted his shirt over his chest, watching as Hop sank down into the bed, now fully on his back and turning his head away so that he wouldn’t have to look at him, Leon just wanted him to feel the same.

It hurt.

It hurt, it hurt, it _fucking hurt_.

It wasn’t fair that Leon had these feelings, this desire for him, when Hop didn’t. It wasn’t fair that Leon wanted to touch his brother and make him feel good, when he didn’t. It wasn’t fair that Leon was overwhelmed with feelings of love, only to know deep down that Hop never did and never would feel the same.

It hurt.

Leon breathed in, trying not to get emotional as he gently dragged his hands up the side of Hop’s stomach, taking great care not to dig his nails into him like he’d done before. The smallest of quakes came from Hop when he tickled him and Leon wanted to smile, because _there it was_. Hop could deny it all day long, but his body was reacting, and it only compelled Leon to keep going. Maybe Hop was too shy, but his body knew what it wanted, and the more he touched, dragging his hands up, down, tracing the muscles beneath his skin, the more he knew it to be true.

Hop was going to love it.

With his shirt pulled up and bunching over his chin, Hop lay beneath him, shaking and shivering with every touch Leon gave him. He wondered for a moment if perhaps he was just cold, to be shaking so much, but one look at how red his brother’s face was and he knew he was just embarrassed. Probably never expected Leon to see him like this.

“You’ve gotten so big.” It was more a useless thing to say rather than anything meant to be comforting, but Leon couldn’t help but notice how his brother’s body was just starting to flesh itself out. He was no longer that short, slightly pudgy kid when they were younger, but had grown into a lanky teenager. Only a few more years and he might even grow taller than Leon himself. He couldn’t help but laugh to himself that if Hop ever started working out, he could give Leon a run for his money.

Despite that, Hop was so small beneath him, and only when Leon dragged his hands across his chest, down to his stomach, did he realize how small. Hop didn’t look like he was fourteen at all, but Leon would only ever see him as that little kid with a huge smile on his face and a sparkle in his eye.

As his hands drew closer to his exposed sex, Leon could hear the quiet whimpers crawling their way out, and looked back up at Hop’s face. Still redder than ever, he had a strange glazed over look in his eyes, one Leon recognized from the night before when he touched him. Like Hop wasn’t focused on anything, but rather nothing at all. He looked oddly at ease, even though Leon could feel him so tensed up under his hands.

When he reached up, bending in to give him a kiss to comfort him, Hop sprang back to life when he realized, reaching out enough to push at Leon’s face, though it was strangely gentle this time.

“D-don’t.”

Leon nodded. “Okay.” That was probably a little too much for him right now, he realized. And even though Leon wanted to pepper his face with kisses until he had kissed every inch of him, he lowered his head until he bent forward to drag his bottom lip up Hop’s cock instead. The reaction this time was immediate, and Leon didn’t know his brother could make sounds like that. He felt him tense below him, possibly even more than he already was, and his body grew rigid, hands clamping down on the blanket before he squeezed until his knuckles had paled.

Leon took great care in grabbing hold of his brother, gaining yet another strangled gasp from him.

“Don’t be scared. It’s okay.” Was the last thing he said before he encased his whole mouth over him. Hop wasn’t very big to begin with, so it wasn’t hard to do, but the sounds he made—the whimpering that muddled with the gasps that came from his brother—Leon thought he might get hard from the sounds alone as he bobbed up and down. This wasn’t about him though, and he couldn’t afford to get excited. This was about making Hop feel good.

“L-Lee…” Hop’s voice was little more than a hushed whisper when he called out to him, but Leon continued going up and down, slow at first, just gentle enough to ease him into it, and it wasn’t long before he could feel Hop grow hard in his mouth.

It absolutely _overjoyed_ him knowing he was the one getting him excited. This—this was what Leon had been trying to tell him from the beginning, but Hop refused to listen. That he could make him feel good, that this—that Hop was excited _for him_. It only encouraged him to pick up the pace, and he allowed his tongue to cover the tip of his cock, tasting the precum that was already oozing out. His heart raced at the fact he was tasting his brother, and Leon knew he was enjoying this way more than Hop was, but he wasn’t about to stop now. Hop was getting off a little too quickly for his tastes, but he wasn’t going to complain. That only meant that Hop was more excited than he realized, and the fact Leon was the one to get him here—it made his chest swell with pride.

Hop was no longer lax below him, but tensed and Leon could hear the moans he was trying so hard to hold back escape from his throat. Sounds like that were driving Leon insane, but he bit down his own lust in favor of focusing on his brother’s. This was to show Hop how good he could make him feel, and there was nothing Hop could say to convince Leon he wasn’t enjoying himself right now. His body was reacting, quite hungrily if Leon said so himself, and it wouldn’t be long until he built him up so much that he exploded.

There would be no turning back then. No more denying it. No more lies.

“Lee…” Again, Hop’s quiet, strangled voice sounded above him and Leon didn’t expect it when he felt his fingers in his hair. At first, he thought he might be trying to pull him off, but when Hop gripped his roots and pulled, just gently enough, Leon knew he was enjoying this. Having his hair pulled only fueled him to go faster, until Hop was moaning above him, allowing his voice to come out much louder.

Leon breathed heavily through his nose as he bobbed up and down, faster, trying to make a rhythm now as he tasted more precum. Hop had to be close. He could tell by the way he gripped his hair and arched his back that he wasn’t going to be able to fight this any longer. Just a little bit longer and—

Hop arched back, letting loose and Leon tasted his cum in his mouth when he finally orgasmed. It surprised him just _how much_ there was, but he didn’t dare choke on it or spit it out. It must have been ages since Hop gave himself any release, and as Leon swallowed it down, could feel the excess dribbling down out his mouth. He wanted to pretend at least that having that much meant Hop had only enjoyed it that much more.

As Hop rode out his orgasm, letting out breathy moans that were turning Leon on way more than he wanted to admit, he spent a few seconds sucking and cleaning the remainder of Hop’s cum away before finally lifting his head. Seeing his brother above him, one hand still dug into the roots of Leon’s hair and his other arm dragged over his face to cover his own mouth, Leon felt the swirling butterflies come into his stomach all over again.

Hop was flushed and spent. Just lying there like he was, breathing heavy and coming down from his high, Leon couldn’t help himself. If he had no control over his desire whatsoever, he would have yanked his brother up by his legs and fucked him into the mattress right then and there—but he leaned up instead, hungry for him, allowing that insatiable desire to only come out for a moment when he gripped him by the chin, pulled his face up, and kissed him.

There was no resistance below him. Hop neither struggled nor pushed him away, and so Leon dug deeper, pushed harder. He reached up with both hands, trying to remember not to crush his brother under his weight as he practically fell on top of him and gripped the back of his hair. Hop cried out for a moment in surprise, but Leon kissed him again, muffling the sounds and breathing heavy as he tried not to pull his hair so hard, but _dammit_.

He wanted Hop to taste himself, taste his own cum in his mouth, because Leon wanted to show him he had done this. _Leon did this_. Leon was the one who made him orgasm, who excited him enough that he came, and he wanted that to be proof of how much he loved him. This would prove to him, without a shadow of a doubt, how Leon felt.

Even as Hop wriggled beneath him, his legs drawing up enough that Leon had to back off for a moment, he didn’t stop kissing him. Hop made little moans of protest against him, but Leon was hungry for him. It was as if he was famished and Hop was the only thing able to satiate his appetite right now. He kissed him hard, ungracefully, and unashamedly as he shoved his tongue into his mouth this time. There was only a moment when he felt Hop resist below him, before he could feel his brother grow lax, opening his mouth and Leon tasted his tongue, dragged his own tongue across Hop’s teeth, his lips, his chin.

He was hard against him, and he knew Hop could feel it digging into his leg, but Leon was having trouble stopping himself right now. If this kept up, he would—he might do something bad. But with Hop having relaxed below him enough to allow him to kiss him, Leon wondered what else he could get away with. When he pushed even further, dragging his hands up Hop’s hips, to his sides, and back up to his hair again, Leon finally pulled back to breathe and remembered to shift his weight off of him. The last thing he wanted to do was suffocate Hop because he got too carried away.

“Lee… Lee, no more.”

Hop sounded so tired, so spent, but he was breathing hard, just like Leon was, and he finally pulled back, sitting on his knees after lifting himself off his brother. Remaining as still as he had before, Hop lay there, face flushed, eyes lidded, exposed, and flaccid once more, but he looked so, so spent and tired. Leon wondered for a moment if he would drift off right then and there to sleep, but he never did.

Awkwardly, Leon tried to ignore how excited he had gotten before climbing off the bed and turning his back to him, allowing Hop at least a little privacy while he slowly sat up and fixed his clothes. Although, it was more a gesture than anything at this point. It wasn’t like it mattered.

A few silent minutes passed before Leon spoke, back still to Hop. “Is there…um, anything you want to eat?”

At first, he thought Hop wouldn’t answer, but was surprised by his voice, despite sounding void of emotion, answer him. “Soup, please.”

Leon nodded, turning back to see Hop had dressed himself again and gave him a smile, even though Hop was looking down and not at him. “Soup it is then.”

As he made his way to the door, grabbing hold of the handle, Leon turned around a final time before he opened the door, watching as Hop pulled his knees up to his chin, eyes glazed and unfocused on a random spot on his bed. “And Hop?”

Slowly, his brother drew his face up, eyes lidded and so, so tired.

Leon smiled. “I love you.”

Hop only nodded before lowering his head and placing it in his knees. “I know, Lee.”

The sound of his brother’s voice should have worried him, but Leon was riding too high right now. Opening the door and letting himself out, there was an excitement coiling in his stomach he could barely contain. He’d been the one to get Hop that excited. _He, Leon_ had been the one allowed to see his brother at his most vulnerable, most sensual, and it made shivers ride up his back at the thought of it. The thought he got to watch his brother come, and even got to taste him when he did it in his mouth— _and there was so much of it_ , it had to be because he loved it so much.

He smiled to himself. He knew. Leon knew Hop would love it.

With those thoughts buzzing in his head, Leon descended the stairs before fetching Hop that soup he wanted.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope you all had a good holiday/New Years! Time to dive headfirst into the new year with a new chapter!
> 
> I feel the need to say this and idk why but, please take care when reading this. Like, i don’t consider what happens in this chapter to be aggressive? But it is definitely not nice lol 
> 
> With that said, thank you guys so much for your comments, it means the absolute world to me knowing people are enjoying something i wrote ;-; thank you!! 
> 
> Lastly, i did a really fast proofread, so if there’s errors, i apologize.

The first thing Leon became aware of as he awoke that morning was the sound of someone shuffling around in the bathroom across the hall. Turning onto his side, he buried his face into his pillow as whoever it was (he was assuming Hop), flushed the toilet and washed their hands before exiting and closing the door. The sound of their footsteps echoed down the stairs and as soon as it got quiet again, Leon drifted off back to sleep.

He wasn’t sure how much longer he slept, but when he finally did lean up in bed, hair a mess and sticking to his face, one glance at the clock told him it was barely pushing past ten. Groaning to himself, he leaned out of bed, still groggy and not able to shake it fast enough for his liking. Leon wasn’t the biggest morning person, but neither was he a night owl either. Ever since moving to Wyndon and taking over the Battle Tower, he had grown accustomed to waking up early everyday, but now that he was back home, not bound by any schedule, that routine was becoming less and less his priority and he was slipping back into old habits.

As he dragged himself out of bed, yawning and trying to shake away his grogginess, he remembered Hop clambering around in the bathroom earlier and took a moment when he exited his room to pop his head through his brother’s doorway. The bundle of blankets that had been curled into a ball for the past couple days were now strewn about, leaving a mess in their wake. It was good to see Hop out of bed for once, and Leon didn’t question it so much before making his way into the bathroom to do his business.

It was only yesterday he had given his brother release, practically lying on top of him while he got to feel every single shiver Hop had to offer, and kissed him—hard and passionate. Leon had never remembered a time in his life when he felt so satisfied just at the mere sight of his brother like that. Back leaned into the mattress, face flushed from coming, and breathing heavy—all because of Leon.

He had taken it to mean Hop had enjoyed himself, and it must’ve been true. Otherwise, why would he have come so much? If he didn’t like it, he wouldn’t have come at all. That must’ve meant Leon did a good job of making sure he felt safe and secure, despite coming on a little strong, right? He tried to convince himself that’s what it meant anyway.

Even after bringing his brother something to eat, watching him stare with vacant eyes at his wall as Leon had brought him a bowl of soup, even after setting it down in front of him, imploring him to eat, he didn’t see much of a reaction from his brother. He decided to leave him alone then, allow him his space and all the time he needed, but when Leon returned later that night to retrieve the bowl, his stomach grimaced at the sight of it being untouched.

Hop still never ate anything, and it was worrying him. He’d tried to tell himself later that night that if Hop still hadn’t eaten anything by today, he would _make_ him eat, even if he had to force the food down his throat, but Leon knew if he did that, Hop would probably refuse to talk to him even more than he was now. All things considering, Leon only had himself to blame for that. Any other time, his brother would be absolutely overjoyed to go spend time with him, chat with him, take every opportunity he could to be with Leon while he was home.

But now.

Leon sighed as he made his way from the bathroom to the stairs, slowly descending them. It felt like each and every creak the wood made below his feet was a voice in his head asking him why. Why was he doing this? Why had he let his desire take over so much so quickly, when he knew Hop wasn’t going to be on board from the beginning? It broke his heart to think that his brother didn’t really like all that he was doing, all he was just trying to show that he loved him—and Leon knew in his mind, he knew he loved Hop so much that he just wanted him to feel good, to understand Leon wouldn’t hurt him, and Leon would always be there for him.

_‘It wouldn’t be the same and you know it.’_

How ironic that those words Leon spoke to Hop would be the ones coming back to haunt him the most. It was painful to see his brother change so much the way he had, going from the bright-eyed, grinning ball of joy he was so used to seeing to somebody he didn’t even recognize. A hollow shell of his former self. In just the span of a couple of days, Leon knew deep down he had broken his brother, despite trying to tell himself all he needed was more time.

Just more _time_. Then he would come around. He would see and he would understand. Hop would understand why Leon did the things he did, and that Leon himself wasn’t scary or bad or any of those messed up things. Leon was still his older brother and he still cared for him so much that he allowed himself to throw his feelings upon Hop in the most literal physical way possible.

His chest tightened. Those nagging voices in his head poked and prodded at him, called him a monster, a molester, a horrible creep who felt up his brother when all he wanted to do was show his love. Leon shook his head. No, he wasn’t…he wasn’t a monster. Hop still loved him. He told him so. Just because he was shy about this whole thing didn’t make Leon a _monster_. All it was was Hop not being used to touching someone else like that and he was just shy.

Letting out another sigh, Leon slowly blinked as he reached the bottom of the stairs. That’s right. Hop was just shy.

Just as he rounded the corner, still a little groggy despite splashing cold water on his face, he was greeted by the sight of Mum standing over the stove and she shot him a huge smile. “Morning, dear.”

“Morning.” A quick glance around the kitchen let him know that Hop wasn’t in here eating breakfast. With that thought in his head, Leon pulled back out of the kitchen long enough to poke his head into the living room, but was also met with no signs of his brother. “Where’s Hop off to?” he called back to his mother.

“Went out earlier this morning.”

It wasn’t unusual for Hop to go out, but…Leon couldn’t help the creeping feeling coiling down into his stomach. After the way he saw his brother act, he wasn’t sure if he was well enough to be going out. Had he even eaten? When was the last time he got a good night’s sleep?

As he rounded back into the kitchen, Leon leaned up against the wall while crossing his arms, watching as his mother flipped a few pancakes. “Any idea where he went off to?”

Mum shrugged. “Probably to hang out with his girlfriend.”

That word made Leon _cringe_ and he couldn’t help the physical reaction he made to it, grimacing and turning his gaze away from Mum. She wasn’t supposed to see him acting this way, but for the life of him, he could not help it.

“Is something wrong?” The concern in Mum’s voice only amplified his distaste, but Leon tried his damndest not to show it in front of her.

So, he shrugged, trying to remain indifferent, but damn if it wasn’t hard. “No. I just worry about him. Don’t you think he’s too young to be having a girlfriend?”

Mum chuckled before moving the pancakes off the frying pan long enough to set a stack on a plate. “Aww, look at you worried about your little brother. He’s fine, dear. He’s fourteen, it’s about time he started developing crushes on people and whatnot.” She paused for a moment before turning to look at him over her shoulder. “If I recall a certain someone used to be quite enamored with girls when he was fourteen as well.”

A coat of blush came across Leon’s face, but he tried to hide it. It wasn’t a lie that he had crushes, and he even went through a brief period where he had a crush on Sonia, but it never amounted to anything. Leon never went hard in his pursuits as winning the Pokémon league was always more important to him. Before he knew it, he was in his twenties, working constantly and not paying much mind to things like relationships or anything like that. All he’d wanted to do lately was work and build up what little notoriety he had left from being the ex-champion.

He shuffled against the wall, eyes unfocused on the ground, but he couldn’t look up at Mum. “I know it’s normal, I just don’t want him doing anything stupid like throwing his heart and soul at somebody just to get his heart broken.”

“Well I’m sure if anything bad happens, his big brother will be there for him, won’t you?”

He snorted. Mum was so unconcerned about this, but it was about to drive Leon crazy. Even after all he’d done to try and shower Hop with his love, he was still running back to that girl. The more Leon thought about it, the more ill he felt. He wasn’t really sure what he expected, after all was said and done, but he didn’t think Hop would still be throwing himself back at her this early. Why wouldn’t he just listen when Leon told him she was no good for him? She had responsibilities she had to focus on now and being in a relationship was not one of them.

Leon just didn’t want Hop to get his heart broken, because he knew it would kill him to see his brother sad like that. And yet, he knew without a doubt, the moment Hop chose to confess, that girl would probably reciprocate. That thought made him crazier than the thought of Hop being let down. Because if he did end up getting with her, then Leon knew he’d probably never see his brother again. Maybe that was a bit dramatic, but the fear had settled down and wouldn’t let go. It was his greatest fear to have Hop taken away from him.

It was sad that he was only just now realizing how important Hop was. All those years, all that time he spent away from home, he was abandoning his brother. He had left him alone and now that he was trying to make up for lost time, Hop was acting so out of sorts.

Leon let out a sigh, one that Mum took notice of.

“Are you still tired, dear?”

He shook his head. “No.” It wasn’t the most sincere reply he ever gave, but it wasn’t a lie either.

Placing the stack of pancakes on the table, Mum crossed the room only to tuck some of his hair behind his ear and give him a soft smile. “Don’t worry so much about him, honey. He’s growing up and he’s at that age where he’s going to start wanting to date. I know you worry about him getting hurt, but why don’t we all get together this evening and have a family dinner?”

That did sound…rather nice he had to admit. It’d been too long since he got to sit down and eat a meal with his family. A small smile formed on his face without him even realizing. “Sounds good.”

“Good! Now you sit down and eat breakfast with your mum.”

Uncrossing his arms, Leon pulled himself away from the wall long enough to settle down at the table, digging into his pancake and satiating the appetite he didn’t even realize had grown.

* * *

The day passed by in a slog. After helping Mum clean the kitchen, Leon tried settling down in front of the telly long enough to watch the news, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t seem to focus or soak up any information other than the weather stating it was only about to get colder.

Ugh.

That’s just what he needed, more cold weather. Though Leon didn’t particularly mind it so much since it tended to be colder in Wyndon anyway, he wasn’t that big a fan of dressing in layers. It looked cute when Hop had to dress in layers, because he was so much smaller and lankier that it didn’t look bad on him, but when Leon had to layer up, he felt so constricted.

Once his thoughts began to float back toward Hop, he knew he was doomed. Each and every time he thought about him, all Leon could think about was how he was hanging out with that girl, possibly confessing his feelings to her—and the look Hop would have on his face if she ever felt the same, it made Leon’s stomach absolutely churn until he felt the need to vomit up his breakfast. Because if Hop ever thought a relationship with her would work out, Leon couldn’t imagine where he would go, how often he’d get to see him. And after all the time he’d spent trying to prove to his brother that he loved him and would protect him—the thought of him being taken away was enough to drive Leon insane.

This was no good. The more Leon dwelled on thoughts like this, the more ill he felt until he was sure he would stand up, barge right over to that girl’s house and _demand_ Hop come back home. That was something he knew he couldn’t do, though. If Hop didn’t think less of him now, he was sure to be cross with Leon if he blatantly stood in the way of him and his personal relationships.

Leon just wished he would _understand_ , understand that that girl was no good. Leon knew what was best for him, even if he let his desire take over, but he knew what it was going to take to protect Hop from people who would use and hurt him.

After letting out a rather grumpy groan, Leon stood from the couch and headed upstairs to his room. While he waited for Hop to return, he may as well try and do something useful, like clean his room or something. It wasn’t dirty by any means, as he was rarely home as it was, but over the past few days, clothes had gathered in piles on the floor, his desk was a mess, and he couldn’t remember the last time he tidied his bed up. It might be a good distraction until later too, as Leon didn’t particularly feel like going out himself. He might feel compelled to do something he regretted, and he had to control himself for Hop’s sake at least.

Opening his bedroom door, he was greeted by the sight of his clothes littering the floor, his trash can full to the brim with tissues and whatnot, and his bed so disheveled that his pillows had fallen off where he hadn’t even bothered to pick them up. Leon set to work, trying not to focus so much on what Hop was doing, or the possibility of him being hurt right now, as he picked up the trash, gathered his clothes into the hamper, and straightened his bed.

Leon wasn’t a dirty person by any means, but once he got into a habit, he could be very bad about forgetting to tidy his room like this. And with all that was happening over the past couple of days, he wasn’t worried so much about keeping a clean room. There was also the encroaching thought that today was Thursday and soon, Leon would be on the train back to Wyndon. His week with Hop was about to be up and he felt like before he left, he wanted to try his damndest to get across to Hop his feelings, as he apparently hadn’t done that yet. It would probably take way longer than a week, and he considered coming back home to visit every weekend, if it meant getting to see Hop.

Although, he was still fantasizing about the idea of Hop simply moving into his apartment with him. They wouldn’t have to sneak around Mum, or worry about someone seeing them. To any onlookers during the day, they would appear to simply be the ex-champion hanging out with his little brother. But—Leon swallowed. Because while that thought made him incredibly happy, getting to see Hop every single day when he got home in the evening, he had a sinking feeling Mum wouldn’t be on board. He might just bring it up to her, at least put the idea in her head, to see what she said.

Once his desk was clean, his clothes put away, and his bed once more straightened and tidy, Leon made his way downstairs once more where he spotted Mum in the kitchen, already setting to work preparing dinner. It hadn’t gotten that late already, had it? He would look at the clock later, but for now, Leon approached his Mum.

She gave him a soft smile. “Hello, dear.”

“Anything I can help with?”

“Well aren’t you sweet? If you’ll grab those pots from below and fill them with water, I was going to make some curry.”

He nodded, fetching one of the bigger pots they owned before filling them in the sink. Leon swallowed as he thought how best to broach this subject, but after biting his lip, he finally opened his mouth before setting the pot on the stove. “So, Mum?”

“Mmm?”

His palms felt sweaty. “I’ve been thinking a lot, how great it is to be back home and getting to spend time with Hop like this. Feels like ages since we last hung out like this.”

Mum nodded. “Oh yes, the entire week before you arrived, he talked nonstop about you. That boy couldn’t wait to see you.”

A coat of blush filled his cheeks, but he shook it away. “It’s just—being at the tower now, it’s hard to get away.”

“I know it is, honey. Nobody is expecting you to drop everything all the time to come back to Postwick. Hop understands how busy you are. That’s what makes your visits so special for him.”

Again, Leon had to bite down the blush. He never really thought of how excited Hop would get when he visited, and it made him feel guilty for all those times he _could_ have visited home before, but never did. How disappointed had Hop been those times? He had to do something to make it up to him.

“Well…” His hands shook as he stirred ingredients into a bowl. The churning in his stomach only worsened the more he feared what his mother’s answer would be. If she said no, then that was that. “I was thinking since I never get to see him—what do you think of Hop coming to live with me for awhile? Not indefinitely of course.” It killed him to say that, but he knew he was already asking for the sun with this and pushing anything further would be an absolute no.

There was a long pause of silence between him and Mum and Leon feared for a moment she was thinking of a nice way to shut him down, but the butterflies in his stomach almost exploded when she spoke next. “Hmm… that might be good for him.”

Leon’s heart swelled and he couldn’t help the smile that crept up, along with the heat coming from his face. “You think?”

She shrugged, turning up the heat on the stove to make sure the water in the pot boiled. “Of course. He’s seemed really down lately, but maybe staying with you for awhile would cheer him up!”

“Y-yeah.” Shit, Leon was over the moon at the fact Mum was on board with that idea. “I was thinking he might feel better to get out and see Wyndon a little more, and you wouldn’t have to worry about his expenses or anything.”

Mum nodded before looking back up and giving Leon a pat on his back. “I know you’ll take good care of him, dear.”

That swelling in his chest only got bigger, until Leon couldn’t help the large smile that spread across his face.

* * *

It was probably thirty minutes after Leon had chatted with Mum in the kitchen before she told him the food would take awhile to actually cook and so, he headed back upstairs. Just as he settled at his desk, about to pop open his phone and answer a text from Raihan, he could hear the front door opening, and he perked up at the sound of Mum welcoming Hop back home. A quick glance at his clock let Leon know it was about six in the evening, and he sprang up out of his chair, his heart pounding and his palms sweaty.

Did he confess? Was the only thought running through his head right now. It shouldn’t have made him as sick as it did, but Leon couldn’t help the bile that was threatening to rise from his stomach. There was no way Hop confessed, he couldn’t have. He didn’t hear any screeches of joy from Mum downstairs, just occasional mumbling from Hop as Mum let him know dinner would be ready soon. He could’ve sworn he heard his brother say he wasn’t hungry, but Mum quickly shut him down and insisted.

The stairs creaked as Hop began the climb and Leon felt his heart race, the anxiety of what his brother had been up to almost too much to bear. He tried so hard not to, tried to wait and let his brother have his peace, but Leon couldn’t help himself. The moment he heard Hop’s footsteps tap outside the hall, Leon reached for his door, threw it back, and was met with the wide eyes of his brother who jumped at the sudden movement.

His emotions were driving him, as hard as he fought it, Leon couldn’t help when he asked, “Where have you been?” His face was flushed and his heart was racing, but he didn’t mean to be so desperate like this. Hop made him so irrational.

To his surprise, Hop answered, although his voice was shaky and small. “I was out.”

“Out where?”

“None of your business.”

The way Hop was so sharp and curt with his response made Leon feel like he’d been gut punched, but he tried to swallow down all the emotions that were running through him right now. He was anxious, scared, and he didn’t know how he would be able to handle it if Hop had actually confessed. “You were with that girl, weren’t you?” It wasn’t supposed to sound so accusing, but Leon let it out. Let out every bad thought he was having with that one spitting question.

And he didn’t expect to see Hop lower his eyebrows, not quite glaring, but definitely giving him a hard stare when he replied. “What if I was?”

“Hop, I told you she’s no good.”

“I can hang out with whoever I want.”

Clutching the side of his doorframe, Leon was forced to look down at the floor, unable to take that glazed stare Hop was giving him. The question that was haunting him spewed out like poison when he opened his mouth. “Did you confess to her?”

He almost didn’t notice, but Hop shifted his posture just slightly enough that it caught Leon’s eye. He looked up to see Hop’s face growing with blush when his gaze moved from Leon down to the floor as well. 

He didn’t reply to that.

The sound of Leon’s own heartbeat thumped in his ears and he felt a wave of relief wash over him. The silence said it all and he knew Hop hadn’t been able to do it. “I knew you couldn’t do it.” His words were sounding so ugly when they came out, but he knew it was because he was jealous and he didn’t really mean any of these things he was saying. Hop just didn’t know what he was doing, and he was going to get hurt if he kept doing things like this, especially hanging out with Gloria. All Leon wanted to do was make sure he was safe from people like that.

“Leave me alone.” When Hop turned his back on him, about to head back into his own room, Leon was once again compelled to move before he thought, and he found himself reaching out, grabbing the back of Hop’s jacket, and pulling him in close to him.

“Hop.” His brother started struggling immediately, even as Leon wrapped his arms around him until Hop’s back was pressed against his front. He could feel him on his crotch, and he hated that even those little tiny movements from Hop were getting him excited.

“Let go, Lee.” It was almost scary how low Hop’s voice got, despite his rather weak struggles like he was afraid of making too much noise and alerting Mum, but his voice was no longer small and shaken, and the sound of it felt like it sliced right through Leon in a physical sense.

“No, I won’t. We need to talk.”

“I have nothing to say to you.” Again, he pulled away, but Leon held his grip firm and strong. There was no way Hop was getting away from him like this. He was too small, too fragile, and probably weak from hunger. The amount of strength Leon knew he had over him should have scared him, but it only compelled him to use that force to his advantage.

And Leon shouldn’t have said the things he was saying in the first place, but _fuck_ , Hop could make the ugliest part of him come out when he tried so hard not to give in. “Then we’ll just have to talk out here, loud enough for Mum to hear all about it.”

The way Hop fell lax against him immediately should have struck a nerve in him that what he was doing was horrible, but Leon didn’t care. With his brother no longer fighting him, he took advantage and dragged Hop back into his room before closing and locking his door. The moment he released his brother from his arms, Hop stumbled forward, breathing heavier than he had been before and looking up at Leon with a wild look in his eye, as if he was a cornered animal about to be devoured.

Before Leon could even open his mouth, Hop spoke first, voice still low, but now shaky once more. “L-Lee, why are you doing this?” He looked down, and Leon noticed that his palms were shaking so bad, the blood starting to drain from his face and he looked like he might throw up. “I’m allowed to hang out with whoever I want. Why are you so insistent that Gloria is going to hurt me?”

“Because I _know_ people like her, Hop.” It was his jealousy, his jealousy was making him say these horrible things, but no matter how much Leon screamed at himself to stop saying these things, he let it come out. It was poisonous, ugly, horrible, but he allowed it, not caring how hurt Hop looked by what he said. “She’s just going to throw you away the minute you tell her you like her. Why won’t you listen to me?”

“You don’t know that!” Now Hop’s head snapped back up, blush filling his cheeks, but his brow was pinched like he was holding back the urge to cry. The look on his face was so desperate and full of emotion, Leon wanted nothing more than to bring him back into his arms and give him a proper hug, one he wished Hop would feel was meant to be comforting. “Lee, you only fought her in one match, you don’t understand what she’s like!”

He frowned, chest tightening as though someone was squeezing him. “I know enough to realize she’s going to drop you the moment she gets a better deal.”

“We’re _friends_!” Now his voice was rising in pitch, a little too loud, but Leon tried to keep his cool. If Hop got too upset and alerted their mum, he might have to silence him and that was something Leon didn’t want to have to force onto Hop right now.

“So stay friends. I don’t get what you see in her anyway.”

“You weren’t there. You don’t know anything, Lee.” From where he stood, Leon could see the corner of Hop’s eyes line with tears, but he quickly blinked them away before they could fall. “You left, you never even thought how lonely it was here and how sad Mum would get. But, when Gloria came along, I finally had a _friend_ , someone I could hang out with and talk to.” Hop lowered his gaze, posture slouching as he reached down and grabbed a fistful of the hem of his shirt before squeezing. “We’ve been friends for so long.”

Having Hop lay all this out for him, it broke Leon’s heart to hear, especially about how he basically left and stayed gone for so long. It didn’t occur to him until recently but his relationship with his brother was basically everything Hop had seen on the telly for the longest time. Why didn’t he try harder to come back home? Why didn’t he enjoy those times he actually did get to see Hop and try to go out of his way to spend more time with him?

Leon had taken him for granted so much, so used to the little kid who looked up to him, that happy little bouncing kid, now a person he no longer recognized in front of him. Being with him now only made Leon realize it even more, but he couldn’t deal with the thought of Hop being taken from him. Not even if it meant Hop might get into a relationship.

Leon wasn’t going to let that happen.

“If…” He swallowed. “Hop, if I’d known how lonely you were all that time, I would’ve spent more time with you. I know I’ve been focusing on my career more than anything, but I don’t want to be that way anymore.”

He tried to move forward, reach out and run his fingers through Hop’s hair, but he flinched away, and it broke Leon’s heart to see him move away from his touch like that.

“Don’t _touch_ me, Lee.” Now he looked up at him, brows pinched, his teeth gritted, and his hands still wringing the fabric of his shirt. “I don’t like this.”

It was the same conversation over and over again, but Leon dropped his arm, letting out a loud sigh. The more Hop rejected him like this, the harder it was getting to not give in and use force to make him understand. Leon had to control himself. If he got heated—he might hurt him. “Hop, when have I ever hurt you by touching you? You can’t stand there and tell me what I’ve done was painful.”

“It makes me uncomfortable.”

“But, it’s just me. You know who I am, Hop and you can trust me.” This conversation was going the same direction it always went, but if Leon couldn’t keep his composure, he wasn’t sure what might happen. “I love you and I would never hurt you. If you’ll let me teach you, it wouldn’t be uncomf—”

“Lee, if this is your idea of love, then I wish you had never come back home.”

It was as if Leon had been stabbed through with a knife. The way his brother’s words cut through him then, he snapped his head up, staring at Hop’s unblinking stare, the dulled glaze in his eyes that Leon hadn’t seen light up for days, and his stomach churned. He didn’t mean that. Hop didn’t know what he was saying.

His thoughts were muddling together so much that Leon was spewing out words he didn’t even realize he was saying. “You don’t mean that. You just don’t understand yet.” His heart thumped harder and harder in his chest and it felt like he was going to vomit. Sweat piled at the back of his neck and it was getting harder to breathe the longer he stood there, palms sweating, knees shaking, and each time his eyes darted back to stare at his brother, Leon felt as if he’d been stabbed all over again.

“I don’t _want_ to understand this.” Maybe it was unintentional, but Leon noticed his brother take a step backward, but his stare never wavered. “I just want you to leave me alone.”

“Do you hate me?” He was blubbering, Leon was about to lose it, he was shaking so bad, breathing so hard, he was about to lose his composure completely. “Hop, you don’t hate me, do you?”

“I…” Hop bit his lip, and took another step back. “I can’t…hate you.”

That was good, but it wasn’t good, because Leon was about to throw up. Hop didn’t know what he was saying and the more he stood there, trying to calm down and not lose himself, the worse off he felt. “Th-then you just don’t understand what you mean to me. I-I know I wasn’t there for you, I didn’t realize how lonely you were. I just wanted to make up for it. I love you.”

Pity.

He saw _pity_ in Hop’s eyes. If he didn’t feel low before, Leon felt like he had reduced to the dirt under his own shoes now. “Lee, you know this isn’t right. You’re trying to convince yourself of something you know isn’t true.”

Isn’t true. 

_Isn’t true_.

“Hop, I wouldn’t lie about this. I know I love you.”

“Lee, if you really loved me, you wouldn’t be doing this.”

No. He was wrong—that’s exactly _why_ he was doing this. Hop just didn’t understand. He was too young, too inexperienced, and he had no idea the way the world worked or what Leon felt about him. Hop just didn’t know.

“That’s exactly why I want to show you, Hop.” He finally looked up, only to see Hop had backed up even further, until he was right in front of his bed. He could just…push him. Push him and Hop would fall backward, giving Leon all the time to crawl on top of him and show him he was serious. If Hop thought he was playing a game or lying to him, he was not.

“But, Lee.” He squeezed his shirt, his face paling. “Please.” Pleading, his brother was pleading with him. “I don’t love you like that.”

Then he would have to _show_ him.

Leon’s body moved before his brain had time to react to what he was even doing. Just like in his thoughts, he reached out, grabbing Hop by his shoulders and shoved him backward. Letting out a yelp, Hop had no time to react before he toppled over, not even realizing he had inadvertently allowed himself so close to the bed, giving Leon more than enough time to crawl on top of him. It was only a moment that Hop struggled to lean up and get to his feet, but by that time, Leon was straddling him, having reached down to push him back into the bed where he had a firm grip on his wrists, pinning him to the mattress.

Without another word, Leon dove in and kissed him hard. Despite Hop’s protests, despite how he tried to fling his head to the side and get away, Leon didn’t let up. He kissed desperately, hungrily, feeling every moan and tremble his brother made below him, and each time Hop tried to open his mouth and protest, Leon kissed him again, muffling his words.

He could feel Hop’s knees bunching up as he tried to get a foothold and push Leon off of him, but despite that resistance, Leon wasn’t budging. Hop was just too small and weak, and he knew that, Leon knew he was using the full force and strength of his body against him like this in the worst way possible, but he just didn’t care.

All that mattered was showing Hop that he loved him, because he did. He was going to prove it to him, no matter how much Hop fought or begged, Leon would prove his love even if it killed him.

The more he kissed Hop, the more Leon could feel himself getting hard, and he didn’t care to press against the front of his brother’s crotch, causing him to let out a loud gasp. All he managed to mumble was a shaky, “Lee—” before Leon had his mouth back over his, kissing him. He hadn’t meant to be so rough, but Hop wasn’t giving him a choice. If he was going to stand up there and tell Leon he was trying to convince himself of a lie, then he would prove it wasn’t just a lie. Maybe this was why Hop had such a hard time believing him, because Leon just never gave him a reason to even believe him in the first place.

He would change that. He was going to show him. He would prove to Hop that he wasn’t lying about his feelings, and that he really did love him and know what was best for him. Without fail, Leon told himself then and there he would prove it to his brother just what he meant to him, how much he loved him.

Pulling back, Leon took a moment to catch his breath. He had been going hard at kissing Hop for so long that he forgot to breathe while he was doing it, but the sight of Hop below him, lips shiny from his passionate kisses and his face flushed, it was driving Leon crazy and only made his erection twitch in anticipation. “Hop.” Letting off one of his wrists, he dragged his palm down the side of Hop’s face, watching as Hop reeled away from his touch, whimpering when he did so. “Hop, you don’t have to be scared.”

“Lee.” His voice was ragged, almost hoarse as if Hop had spent the past hour screaming, even though he had barely said anything the past few days. “Lee, don’t do this.”

“Shh, it’s okay.” He was just showing him how much he loved him. This wasn’t scary, and it wasn’t bad. Leon knew he was just proving to his brother that he wasn’t a liar when he said and did all the things that he did. Leon knew he wasn’t a monster for this. This was love, he knew it. “I love you, Hop. Everything’s going to be okay. I’m not lying when I tell you that.”

“Get off, please.” That pleading wail that was Hop’s voice only reinforced Leon to try harder. The more Hop begged, the more compelled he felt to keep going.

When he brushed his erection against Hop’s crotch, the sharp inhale that he made, the shivers Leon could feel coming from below him, even as Hop had continued to try and resist him, push against him, try and pull his knees up to put something between them, Leon wasn’t giving up. He wasn’t allowing Hop any opportunity to push him off, or to fight against him. Even with his weak struggles, Leon could feel his will to fight fading.

“Hop, if you’ll just let me show you that I love you and would never hurt you, then everything will be okay.” He reached down to kiss him, but Hop pulled his face to the side, and Leon kissed the bottom of his jaw instead, allowing his mouth to explore and travel lower, even though Hop tensed below him.

“Lee, I told you, I don’t love you this way. _Please_.” 

When Leon reached his collar bone, kissing and sucking at the same spot, he heard Hop’s breath hitch below him, and slowly, very slowly, as he grinded into him, felt Hop harden against him. No matter what he said, there was no denying what his body wanted, and even though Hop pushed and told him no, his body was telling him it wanted more. Leon wasn’t about to deny his brother what he really wanted, even if he convinced himself that he didn’t like this, Leon knew better. He knew he loved it.

Hop was just shy, after all.

As he straddled him, rubbing himself against Hop through his clothes, he could feel the precum staining his pants, but Leon wasn’t going to come that fast. Not unless Hop came with him. This was about making him feel good, not about Leon’s desire. Even though he wanted nothing more than for Hop to engage and touch him, he knew he was a long way off from that ever happening.

A strangled gasp bubbled up from Hop’s throat as he took a moment when he leaned up to drag his hand up Hop’s shirt and rubbed onto his quivering stomach. “Lee.” His voice was strained, even enough for Leon to hear the fear in his voice. “Lee, don’t.”

“Shh.” He would be patient, even though Hop said some hurtful things to him, and called him a liar, he would be as patient as possible until Hop understood that he loved him. “It’s okay.” When he dragged his hands up, brushing his nails up Hop’s abdomen, he felt his stomach dip when he quivered and it made Leon smile. He could look at him with that expression on his face all day, he could tell Leon how bad this was, how much he hated it and wanted him to stop, but he knew he loved it.

Leon didn’t hold back as he dragged the rest of his brother’s shirt up to his chin, exposing his chest, and he bent over far enough that he could kiss him and trailed his tongue up from his navel to his nipples. The moment he dragged his tongue over his brother’s chest, he made a gurgling sound below him, but Leon could feel Hop’s erection pressing into him with every little move he made, and he knew it was good for him.

Despite the fact Hop tried pushing against him, it was so weak. Maybe weak from hunger, or maybe weak from lack of sleep, but Leon told himself those struggles were just Hop being shy about all this and he didn’t really mean it when Leon kissed his stomach, leaning off him enough to allow Leon the room to continue going down further, until he had his hands on Hop’s pants, ready to yank them off and allow his brother to have the release he was so desperate for.

As much as he wanted to blow him again, Leon held back, knowing it would mean more if they were to come together. If he could get Hop in the right spot, and push him just far enough, they could enjoy it together, and then he would know. Hop would understand Leon was doing this because he loved him.

Although, the moment his fingers reached out to tug against Hop’s zipper and begin to pull down, he was met with a firm push against his chest, followed by Hop sitting straight up in bed, even underneath Leon, he could feel the resistance, and Hop unintentionally rubbed up against him when he lifted up, causing Leon to let out a moan.

“Lee!” His voice was close to hysterics and had risen in pitch, so unlike anything Leon had ever heard come out of his brother’s mouth. It should have made him feel guilty but it only compelled Leon to keep going, despite how Hop pushed at his chest, he was met with even more force from Leon, until he moved back into Hop and kissed his throat. “Lee, please.” His arms had folded against him, despite his palms trying to push Leon off, he wasn’t putting as much effort into struggling with Leon, but Leon couldn’t figure out if his brother really was that weak, or if it meant his protests were disingenuous.

“Shh.” Was all he continued to say as he fumbled below with Hop’s zipper, pulling the fabric down a bit ungracefully as he continued to kiss his neck. “We’re going to come together.”

“Don’t.” Hop’s breathing was heavy, and Leon was certain if he pressed his chest against him, he would feel his heartbeat going wild. If Hop would just let him— “Lee, get off me, please.”

Another kiss to his neck as he finally dug his hand into his pants, feeling the tip of Hop’s erection on his fingers. “Don’t be scared. I’m right here with you.”

“I’m begging you, Lee.” He made a rather weak attempt to push at him, but it made Leon laugh more than anything. If Hop was so adamant about not wanting this, then why were his attempts to get away so weak? Surely Hop had more strength than that, even if he was skinny and lanky, Leon expected more out of him.

“I’m only showing you how much I love you. When we come together, you’ll see that I wasn’t lying.”

“I don’t think you were lying, Lee.”

He had to chuckle as he sucked Hop’s neck. Now who was trying to convince themselves? “I’m happy you’re finally understanding my feelings then.”

A rather aggressive shove was done against his chest, one that caused Leon to stop sucking his neck and pull back, coughing when he did. Hop had pushed right into his collarbone, almost jabbing him in the throat and it pulled the air from his lungs when he did, but Leon didn’t dare let go of him. It was mostly the surprise that threw him off and not the force.

“Lee.” Hop’s voice had lowered again, and his gaze was downward, refusing to look at him, but Leon could feel him trembling as he held onto him. In his attempts to lean up and push Leon, he had mostly gotten into a seated position, but Leon still had most of his weight put on top of him, holding his legs down where he couldn’t run. Both of them were still hard, and Leon was not shy about grinding against him every once in awhile to keep it that way.

“L-Lee…” His voice only continued to shake as he struggled to come up with the words. But finally, after stammering a few times, Hop opened his mouth to speak. “I-if you leave, I’ll do whatever you want. D-don’t do this to me, please.”

As he spoke, Leon allowed himself to grind up against him, causing Hop’s face to flush and his breathing became shallow. “I told you, Hop, we’re going to come together.”

“Don’t do this.” A line of tears settled into the corner of his eye and Leon wondered if his brother would cry, but he blinked it away. “I-I just want to be left alone. I’ll do whatever you want, however you want, I’ll even do it with my mouth, but.” He looked up then, allowing Leon to see just how sunken his eyes were, how thin his face was, how absolutely tired he was. “Please don’t make me do this with you.”

Had…had Leon really convinced his brother that all he was interested in was his own pleasure? Maybe it started off that way, with him sneaking into his room and indulging in his fantasies, but he didn’t want to be a selfish lover if that’s what Hop was worried about. He wasn’t going to just take and take from him. He wanted Hop to know that he cared about his feelings too.

“Hop, I’m not…gonna force you to blow me or anything.” He wanted to. Damn did he want to. That thought was so tantalizing in itself, imagining Hop below him, pulling his pants down, willfully getting Leon hard as he looked up at him with that flirty expression, making Leon see stars when he—Leon swallowed when the fantasies were making him shiver, and he twitched against Hop, the feel of his brother’s erection pressed up against him through his clothes about to drive him over the edge. “I don’t know where you’re getting these ideas, but I would never make you do anything like that to me.”

Hop opened his mouth to say something else, but Leon didn’t give him a chance. Pulling his brother back into him, he had Hop so close against him that his chest was pressed against his own, and he gripped the back of his head to keep him there, kissing his neck, his shoulder, everything he could reach right now. He could have sworn as he sat there kissing against him, he could feel Hop’s heart beating against his chest, but that wasn’t likely. Hop wasn’t scared. Just shy.

Finally, after he felt he’d been fumbling with his brother’s pants for hours, he had managed to dig his hands down and pulled Hop’s erection free from his boxers and the opening of his pants. Hop let out a gasp when he touched him, tugging him free, and he felt the pull as Hop tried to lean away from him again, but Leon wasn’t going to let him pull free.

If Hop would stop struggling like this long enough for Leon to pleasure them both, then he would understand. And damn did he want to just—push Hop back onto the bed, rip his pants off, and fuck him raw. Leon wanted—he was starved to do that. He was so starved, but he knew if he ever got that rough with him, Hop would never, ever forgive him.

As long as he was gentle, Hop would understand. That’s why when he pulled himself free from his own pants, his cock already dribbling precum, he knew Hop would love it. If he was gentle, as long as he took the time to prepare him, Hop would get used to him being inside long enough to realize Leon was genuine.

Then he would know. He would know Leon never lied.

With Hop trembling in his hold, still managing to push against him despite the fact it never worked, Leon reached around and began digging his fingers through the back of Hop’s pants, gaining a yelp when he did.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Hop’s face was on fire, and Leon couldn’t help but smile at his face growing beet red. He’d never seen Hop so red before.

“I gotta prepare you obviously so it won’t hurt as bad.”

The color immediately drained of his face and Leon thought he would pass out in his arms when Hop went strangely limp against him. His mouth quivered open and no sound came out, but Leon gave a small laugh through his nose before dipping in quickly to give him a quick peck on the lips. Hop didn’t move a muscle.

“Don’t be scared, I’ll be slow and gentle with you.”

“No.”

“It’s okay, I’ll—”

“ _NO!_ ” And Leon didn’t expect when Hop began thrashing under him, kicking his legs out until he managed to knee Leon right in the crotch and he sucked in a pained gasp when he did. Despite that, he gripped hold of Hop’s wrist, keeping him from pulling off of the bed and making a run for it. For Hop to have given him such weak protests before, this was surprising. He knew Hop couldn’t have been _that_ weak, but damn if it didn’t all come out at once as he fought tooth and nail under him, even making Leon struggle to keep his hold on him.

“Hop, calm down! It’s not going to hurt!”

“NO, GET OFF ME! YOU’RE CRAZY, YOU’RE FUCKING _CRAZY!_ ”

This was dangerous as Hop, in his fit of hysteria, was growing louder until he was almost shouting. Mum would definitely hear if Hop began screaming for Leon to get off him, but he could _not_ let that happen.

Despite how much he didn’t want to do this, Leon had no choice. With Hop still thrashing against him, trying to kick him and throw him off, Leon used all the strength in his body to push his weight against Hop and shoved him back down onto the bed. Hop flopped down like a rag doll at first, but attempted to stand again, to which Leon bent down over him until his entire weight was almost on him. Reaching out, he gripped hold of Hop’s wrists and pushed so that he couldn’t shove him anymore, all the while Hop was mumbling below him.

His voice had lowered to a whisper, as if being pushed down on the bed had knocked the air out of him, and he was speaking short, broken sentences as Leon lay on top of him. He caught fragments like, ‘ _no, no’_ amidst the babbling. With his body so far against him now, Leon could feel every little tremor, hear every short strangled breath, and could feel his heart pounding against him.

Hop was horrified. Not just horrified but scared to death, and it was Leon who had done this to him.

He lay there with him for awhile, holding onto him, trying not to suffocate him with his weight, but pushing enough that he was sure Hop wouldn’t move or try to stand up, and Leon waited. Waited for the moment he was sure Mum had heard his voice and was going to come upstairs, but that moment never came. By some miracle, Mum either didn’t hear Hop’s voice, or she had stepped out of the house to do something, but she never came up.

Hop had started sucking in breaths, shallow and quick but sometimes deeper breaths as he lay trapped under Leon’s body, all the while he shushed him, his erection still pressing up against him, but he didn’t dare move. He was afraid Hop might start shouting again, but his mumbling from before had faded and he was silent once again. Knowing he was pushing his luck, Leon released one of Hop’s wrists long enough to entangle his fingers into his brother’s own and give a gentle squeeze. Anything to reassure him right now. Any kind of comfort he could offer, Leon would give him.

He hadn’t meant to scare him so bad, but it was apparent now more than ever that he had fucked up going that far.

“L-Lee…”

He was surprised by Hop’s soft voice coming out, almost a whisper, and Leon risked leaning up and away, but was pretty sure Hop wouldn’t try to fight him again. When he leaned up, still holding onto his hand, he felt like he’d been sucker punched in the stomach when he noticed a tear trickling down the side of Hop’s face, disappearing into his hairline, and he stared straight up at the ceiling as he spoke, breathing still heavy, but not moving much.

“D-don’t do it…” His lip trembled and the sight of his brother having actually gotten so scared to the point he made him cry made Leon reel back and remove his weight off him. Hop still didn’t move, but continued to stare ahead. “Please, Lee. Don’t.”

“I won’t.” Not after that. Not after he’d made him cry to the point he couldn’t even move anymore. “I’m sorry.”

“Just…”

Just what?

Leon wanted to ask him, but he was afraid if he did, then Hop would recede into himself and refuse to talk altogether.

And finally, Hop opened his mouth to say, “Y-you can do whatever you want, but please don’t do that.”

Leon nodded. That was meant as permission of sorts, but it sounded more like Hop just wanted to get it over with so that Leon wouldn’t resort to doing what he really wanted to do. But, even though his desire was overtaking him earlier, seeing his brother reduced to this—he lost the will to go through with it.

He couldn’t believe what he’d almost done. For him to be trying to convince Hop he loved him, he was doing a shitty job of it. He never dreamed Hop would react like that, get so scared that he shut down, even to the point Leon made him cry.

With Hop still below him, still unmoving, Leon knew he wouldn’t fight him if he kept going. So, with his erection still digging against Hop’s crotch, he reached down before grinding up against him once more and pumped his brother as he moved.

It wouldn’t take Leon long to get there, as he had been hard the entire time, but he wasn’t sure about Hop anymore. He was still hard as well, though Leon had to stroke him a few times before Hop began to even twitch below him again. Even as Leon thrusted against him, wishing he could go inside, but knowing that wasn’t an option, Hop lay there, unmoving, not speaking, and gaze still focused on the ceiling. He never once looked at Leon as he worked.

“H-Hop…” Despite his best efforts, Leon wanted them to come together, and even though his plans were disrupted, he still intended to get them both there, no matter what. Even just grinding against him, he was going to lose it any moment, his orgasm so ready to be released, it was almost painful, but he couldn’t leave Hop behind, and he would sit there and pump him all night if he had to.

It wasn’t long that he felt Hop make the tiniest movements below him, thrusting into his hand, and up against his own erection and it made Leon moan when he did so. It felt so good to have Hop do that against him that he almost lost it, but he controlled himself.

“Hop, do that again, p-please.” He wasn’t sure if he would comply, but to his surprise, Hop moved under him, a little noise of discomfort making its way out, but he thrusted against him again, causing Leon to reach up and cover his mouth, otherwise he himself would get too noisy. He grinded with him, still pumping Hop, still allowing him to thrust into him, but holding back his orgasm was about to be impossible. If Hop didn’t come soon, he would—

Hop made another moan of discomfort, or maybe it wasn’t discomfort at all, but Leon couldn’t really tell anymore. With a final thrust, Hop seized up below him, arching his back as he came all into Leon’s hand. The moment he felt Hop’s cum spew onto his own erection, Leon allowed himself release at last and he finally did as he said when he came with him. Hop shivered below him, reaching up to cover his mouth as he moaned when everything came out at once. Leon allowed him all the time he needed to ride out his orgasm, grinding against him as Hop twitched and shuddered underneath him.

Maybe he would understand. Maybe he would realize Leon wasn’t lying after this.

It was a long moment the two of them spent breathing, Hop not moving much below him, but breathing deep and heavy gulps of air as Leon slowly pulled his entire weight off, until he threw his legs over the edge of the bed and sat there, trying not to get their cum stained on his bed sheets. They would both have to go clean up in the bathroom after this, but just as that thought shot through his mind, he felt the mattress give behind him and turned to see Hop sitting up, face flushed, eyes lidded and downcast as he slowly pulled himself off the bed.

It was like watching a zombie walk by as he trudged his way across the room, his footsteps getting heavier with each step, but Leon stood off the bed just as Hop reached out to unlock his door and leave.

“Hop.”

He stopped, not turning around, arm frozen on the door handle even as Leon came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his brother, pulling him in close for a gentle hug.

“I’m sorry if I scared you.”

Hop said nothing, nor did he return the hug, but he did nod his head very slowly.

“I love you.”

Another nod.

It was then that their mother’s voice came from downstairs, even through the door, they could hear the muffled sound of her calling them both to dinner, and Leon let out a sigh before inhaling, not able to resist smelling Hop’s hair. It was an almost sweet smell, which he didn’t expect, but it made his chest swell.

“Do you believe me, Hop? That I love you?”

For once, although he didn’t move nor make any attempts to move, Hop opened his mouth, his words quivering when he spoke. “I…I believe you, Lee.”

“That’s all I wanted.” He released him, patting Hop on the back as he did before reaching over and unlocking the door for him. “Let’s go get cleaned up.”

Hop gave another slow nod as Leon led the way toward the bathroom, turning back to try and give his brother a reassuring smile. Even throughout the time they spent cleaning themselves off in the bathroom, Hop never once looked up at him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and last chapter were supposed to be one, but it was getting so long i was like oh my god i don’t want to dump that on all you guys lol
> 
> BY THE WAY i appreciate all the support!! Thank you guys so much for commenting, leaving kudos, and for all the kind words you’ve given me. It really means the world, and if not for you, i probably wouldn’t have continued writing this fic. 
> 
> Thank you all, your support is appreciated ;-;

Leon’s appetite had grown exponentially by the time they made it downstairs. Even though Hop brought up the rear, dragging a bit, Leon couldn’t help his good mood and smiled at Mum when they rounded the corner, plates of curry that sat on the table just waiting to be devoured.

Maybe Leon was a little too enthusiastic as he sat down, picking up his spoon in a hurry as if the food was going to jump up and run away, but by the time he began shoveling it down, Hop was still seating himself right next to him, shoulders hunched, posture slumped in his chair, and head hung when he picked up his spoon, picking at the food more than eating it.

Mum noticed, and shot him a look of concern. “Hop, dear, you haven’t eaten anything the past couple of days. Are you still unwell?”

He didn’t answer right away and when he didn’t, Leon took the moment his mouth wasn’t full to reach over, planning to place his palm on his forehead to check for a fever, but the moment he lifted his hand toward his brother, Hop flinched back before shooting his head up, eyes darting back in forth before settling on Mum. “I’m fine.” That frantic answer caused Leon to stop, lower his hand, and let out a sigh as the look on Mum’s face only intensified.

Maybe coming down to dinner was a bad idea. There was that lingering fear that Hop might crack and tell Mum Leon had hurt him—even though he didn’t. He had a feeling if it ever came to that, Hop would frame it that way and Mum would think he was a monster, but he couldn’t help but worry over it. It seemed no matter how many times he professed to Hop that he loved him and would never hurt him, he just wasn’t _getting it._ Even sitting next to him, Leon’s appetite decreasing little by little as they sat there, he could feel the somber energy radiating off of Hop as he tensed in his seat, still flinching when Leon so much as tried to check to see if he was warm. He shouldn’t be so scared of him like that, but Leon didn’t know what else he could possibly do to soothe his brother’s worries.

After all, that look he gave him earlier, before he planned to fuck him, was haunting him. All he’d wanted to do was become closer with him, shower him with his love, prove to him he wasn’t scary, he wasn’t some monster, and that Hop could trust him no matter what. Everything he did, Leon did because he loved him. That’s why he didn’t want Hop confessing to Gloria, that’s why he touched him the way he did, that’s why he just wanted Hop to feel the way he felt.

But that look he gave him, when he cried earlier, not even a full blown cry, but enough to let Leon know he had fucked up—it made his stomach churn the more he thought about it, because how was he ever going to make it up to him? Every time he thought about going slower, easing him into it more gently, the more difficult Hop was making it for him. There were only so many times Leon could be patient with him, but for the life of him, he could _not_ make him understand.

It hurt to think about, despite his good mood earlier, seeing Hop react this way even in front of Mum like this broke his heart. He felt compelled to lean over, wrap his arms around him, and comfort him, but he knew Hop would push him off if he did. And then Mum would begin to wonder why that was and there was no fucking way he ever wanted _that_ conversation to happen.

“Honey?” Mum’s voice brought Leon out of his thoughts and he hadn’t realized he’d been staring off into space, but when he looked up, saw his mother looking at him before switching her gaze back and forth between the two. “Are you two all right? You’ve never been this quiet before, Hop.” She let out a sigh before placing her spoon down and standing from the table before making her way over to Hop who still sat hunched in his seat, gaze now focused on his plate of food. As their mother placed her palm over Hop’s forehead, Leon couldn’t help but notice how his brother froze up when she touched him. So unlike when he did as if Hop kept expecting Leon to strike him, but he couldn’t help but feel somewhat jealous as he watched Hop allow this type of contact.

“Oh dear, you’re so warm, honey. I bet you caught that bug from Leon after all.” She took a moment to glance over at Leon who merely shrugged.

Hop’s grip on his spoon tightened. “I said I’m fine. I’m just not hungry.”

“Don’t push yourself when you feel bad. I knew you shouldn’t have gone out this morning, but you insisted you felt fine and well and now look at you.” As she spoke, Mum crossed the room from the dinner table and stopped in front of the cabinets over the stove, fishing around for something inside. “If you keep pushing yourself, you might have to go to the doctor.”

“I’m _not_ sick, Mum. Why do the both of you keep trying to shovel food down my throat when I’m not hungry?”

The atmosphere in the kitchen kept getting thicker and Leon could feel his chest tightening as this conversation threatened to break out into an argument. He wanted to nudge Hop in the foot, tell him quit acting like this and just go along with her, but he couldn’t. Hop would only make more of a scene if he dared touch him, and despite how much that annoyed him right now, Leon couldn’t risk his brother breaking down like that.

When she turned back around, a bottle of medicine in her hands, Mum frowned. “Hop, now you stop that. All we’re doing is trying to take care of you.”

Still not looking at anyone, Hop continued to squeeze his spoon, brows pinched and paling as he sat there. “Lot of good that does me. I really will get sick if I have to eat this.”

“Hop.” Leon spoke now, voice firm and did his best to defuse the situation. He didn’t want Hop getting into a fight with Mum right now, after what they just did upstairs. It was dangerous and if Hop got too riled up, he might just tell her. “Listen to her. You haven’t eaten in so long, you’re—”

“Shut up.”

The way his words spat out like that, it actually took Leon aback and he whipped his head around to give Hop a hard stare. He wished he could have said with his eyes _‘don’t make this situation any worse’_ , but Hop refused to look at him. For Hop to be so compliant with him sometimes to resorting back to this biting attitude, Leon was getting antsy in his seat, the butterflies coming to his stomach. Why on earth was he acting like this? Leon thought they had some kind of understanding before they left his bedroom, but it was apparent that was not the case. Perhaps Hop had just been lying to him? They really should not have come downstairs right after that. Maybe if Leon had sat and talked to him—

“Hop, don’t talk to your brother like that!” Now Mum was raising her voice, having made her way back to the table, and slammed the bottle of pills down for Hop to take, but he only shrank into himself. “Now, I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but it’s not fair for you to take it out on Leon like that. If you feel so bad, maybe you should go upstairs and tuck yourself into bed.”

At that, Hop pushed his chair back, and it made Leon’s blood run cold when he saw his brother _glare_ at their mother. “Fine, then I will!” Leon had never seen Hop give their mother a look full of so much hatred like that before, and he immediately lost the rest of his appetite.

Mum huffed, obviously heated, before opening the bottle of pills and pulling out a couple. “Take these before you go. And put your plate away if you aren’t going to eat it.”

The tension in the air could have been cut with a knife as Leon sat there, watching as Hop huffed as well before grabbing his plate and pushing the leftovers into a container to be saved for later. As he did so, Mum let out a loud sigh before settling herself back down in her seat, holding a hand to her forehead like she had a headache.

“Hop, I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but once you start feeling better, maybe it’s time you moved to Wyndon with Leon for awhile.”

The resounding crash from the kitchen startled the hell out of both Leon and Mum as they whipped up and around to see Hop standing at the sink, his empty plate having fallen to the ground and crashed into multiple pieces. The blood had drained completely from his face and he was staring dead straight at Leon, body frozen. Leon stared back, feeling the cold sweat begin to prickle at the back of his neck. Shit, this wasn’t good.

“Hop?!” Mum was back on her feet, rushing to his side and it was like a light switch had been flicked off. One moment he was angry and giving Mum lip, and now it was like the life had been sucked from him.

“I…” His gaze finally lowered to the broken plate as Mum gripped his wrist, trying to gently walk him around the broken fragments of ceramic now littering the kitchen and back to the table. “I’m sorry…”

“Never mind about that, Hop, what on earth has gotten into you?” Mum pat his back as she spoke, but Hop didn’t move much.

He swallowed, hands shaking as his eyes darted frantically around as though trying to find something, anything to focus on. “I…I don’t know.”

“Sweetie, are you really feeling that bad?” Even Mum’s voice had lowered down to a softer tone, but it didn’t appear Hop was all that comforted by it. “I thought you would be happy to go spend more time with your brother. Are you afraid of being in a big city like Wyndon? You know Leon wouldn’t let anything happen to you out there.”

“I don’t…” Hop struggled with his words, but his gaze slowly lifted until he was staring at Leon again. “I d-don’t want to go to Wyndon.” And he seemed to be saying it more to Leon than to Mum at this point.

“Hop, you used to beg me to let you go live with Leon. What’s changed your mind all of a sudden?”

Leon could feel his heart pounding as he and Hop continued to lock eyes. He wanted to stand and pull Hop away, whisk him back upstairs and try to talk some sense into him if he was planning to actually tell Mum what they were doing. She wouldn’t understand, he knew it. Leon knew she would blame him if Hop ever told her—

“I don’t…wanna leave…” Hop bit his lip, gaze falling once again and Leon could see the blush rise to his face, and so did Mum.

Mum let out a laugh through her nose before pulling Hop into her chest for a brief hug. “Oh honey, you’re worried about leaving your girlfriend, aren’t you?”

That word absolutely disgusted Leon and he had to fight with every ounce of his willpower not to spit when he heard it. However, when Hop’s blush only intensified as Mum released him from the hug, his brow pinched once more, Leon shifted in his seat before standing up and walking over to them. He couldn’t help but touch Mum’s shoulder, wanting so, so badly to pull her arms off of Hop so that he could take him instead. He wanted to grab his brother and take him upstairs, and maybe not even stop there. He wanted to pack his bags right this second and get him into his apartment as quickly as possible, but fuck he could _not_ sit there while Mum gushed about his _girlfriend_. “Mum, I don’t think—”

But she cut him off. “Hop, that’s very sweet of you to want to be around her like this all the time, but at least give it some more thought, okay? I think being in the city would do you some good. You’ve seemed so down lately, you might just need a change of scenery. It’s not good to stay holed up in this house all the time like you have.”

Hop gave her a nod, still looking down at the floor.

“And I want you to eat something when you take that medicine, even if it’s a bowl of cereal, you need something on your stomach, okay?”

Another nod. Then, quietly but still heard, Hop said, “I’m sorry I broke your plate, Mum.”

“No more of that, dear. Accidents happen.” Again, Mum gave Hop a brief hug. “Now you go up and get cleaned for bed. I’ll send Leon up with some food later.”

When he drew himself up, Hop let his gaze fall to Mum before he looked over at Leon. Leon smiled, happier the mood had lightened somewhat, and also still trying to keep his composure for how bad that could have gone and quell the sweat on his neck, but Hop didn’t smile back at him. Not that he expected him to. He was just glad Hop didn’t have a breakdown and tell Mum they had fooled around before dinner.

Without another word, Hop trudged off back around the corner and up the stairs where they could hear the bathroom door open and close. Leon let out a relieved sigh he hadn’t meant to as Mum settled herself back at the table to eat. “Honestly, what’s gotten into that boy? He hasn’t been acting like himself lately.”

Leon too settled down in his chair, forcing himself to eat the rest of his curry even though he didn’t really feel like it anymore. “I don’t know. Wish he’d snap out of it.” That was his annoyance coming through and he really didn’t mean to sound so ugly about it, but he couldn’t help it when Hop had the nerve to scare the mess out of him like that. Leon really didn’t know what he’d do if Mum ever found out about them, even though he kept telling himself he wasn’t doing anything wrong, but Hop wasn’t comfortable with being so intimate with someone like that, that he knew it would take him time to come around. Despite that, Leon was losing his patience little by little.

“I really think going to Wyndon would be good for him, though. But, there’s not much we can do if he wants to stay here for Gloria.”

Leon wished Mum would quit mentioning her, because every time she did, he wanted to throw up. But, he swallowed those sour feelings, along with the food in his mouth, before shrugging. “I still think he’s too young to be going after girls like that.”

“She’s his best friend, honey, I would’ve been surprised if he didn’t develop feelings for her.”

“I just don’t want him getting hurt.” Even though that was some of his jealousy talking, it really was true. Leon didn’t think he could handle seeing Hop get hurt by someone else.

“I know you worry about him. It warms my heart to see you care about your little brother like that, but you’ve got to remember he’s still growing up and he’s going to make mistakes. All you can do is be there for him when he does.”

He wanted to scoff. There was nothing Leon wanted more than to steal Hop away to Wyndon where he could keep him all to himself, but that was a fantasy that was becoming more and more just that—a fantasy. There really was nothing he could do if Hop fought tooth and nail against it and told their mum he wasn’t moving. Leon couldn’t force him, even though he wanted. If Hop got him riled up enough, rejected him enough, and pushed him away enough when Leon was just trying to help him, he might just snap and steal him away without their mum knowing.

He shook his head. Thoughts like those were getting out of control. Of course he couldn’t steal his brother, but damn if it wasn’t tantalizing the more he thought about it. Having Hop all to himself in the apartment, nobody around to walk in on them, a nice quiet place where Leon could get him vulnerable enough where Hop might actually listen to him—he swallowed more curry, feeling the burn in the back of his throat. Damn, did Hop make him irrational sometimes.

The remainder of dinner passed by in relative silence, save for the occasional small talk from Mum. Nothing important, just talk of the weather, what Leon planned to do when he went back to Wyndon on Sunday (even though he seriously considered taking yet another week off, he knew he couldn’t do that), and other things about the Battle Tower. It wasn’t the big get together dinner he hoped for, but things could have spiraled out of control way more than they had.

“I bet Hop’s probably in bed by now.” Mum began to clear the table away as they finished eating, Leon standing to help her with the dishes and the table scraps.

“Do we have anything light? He’ll probably put up a fuss no matter what I bring him.” Leon scoured the cabinets for anything he thought Hop might be able to eat. He knew Hop wasn’t actually sick, but he had a sinking feeling that Hop was going to give him lip when he brought him food. Leon wasn’t so much in the mood to deal with that, but he was trying to quell those nasty thoughts drowning his mind.

“Hmm.” Mum grabbed a can of tomato soup from the cupboard before showing it to Leon. “I wish he would eat something with substance, but you’re right. He’s in one of those moods he’ll probably not like anything.” As she popped the can off and began heating up the soup, she shot Leon a brief look. “If you can, please try to get him to eat, dear. I’m worried about him.”

Leon nodded, shooting her a smile. “I’ll try. No promises on success.”

“Just do your best.”

With that, Mum placed the bowl of soup on a tray, along with a bottle of water, and a couple of fever reducing pills which Leon wanted to say would do no good, but he kept his mouth shut. Gripping hold of both sides of the tray, he began the ascent upstairs, being careful not to spill the soup as he went. One look when he reached the top let him know Hop had been in the shower. Steam still lingered in the bathroom along with the powerful scent of his body wash, which was making Leon feel a little sweaty, he had to admit. He wasn’t sure what Hop was bathing with, but it smelled oddly sweet, like whipped cream, but not quite. It wasn’t like he was complaining though. Thinking of Hop as something delicious was quite alright with him, and he couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of his brother turning red if he ever told him that.

Well, he could always be swayed into a teasing mood, but right now, that wasn’t his priority. He was still a bit annoyed at the way Hop had acted downstairs, but he wasn’t interested in getting into a fight, although he had a feeling the moment he walked through that door, that’s where things would take a turn.

Sighing to himself, Leon balanced the tray in his arms on one hand as he took a moment to knock on Hop’s door. There was no response, which he expected, but he knocked again anyway before calling out, “Hey, I’ve got food, so I’m coming in,” and let himself through the door.

The scene before him was only a repeat of the past couple of days. Hop was curled up in bed, back facing him, the only light in his room being his bedside lamp, but it may as well have been an empty room as there was no signs anyone even lived here. It took him way too long to realize, but as Leon shut the door behind him, crossing over to Hop’s bed, he noticed how Hop hadn’t really—well— _done_ anything? Normally his brother wasn’t the tidiest person ever, but even Leon could see all of the things that had remained untouched by the past few days, save for the bed. He was surprised the lamp was even on, but if he hadn’t seen Hop curled up under the blanket, he would’ve figured nobody had been in here for days.

It made his stomach churn, but he quickly bit that down as he pulled his brother’s desk chair over to the bed before sitting down. “Mum brought medicine. You need to take it.”

To his surprise, Hop answered back with no hesitation. “Why? You know it won’t do any good.”

Leon bit his bottom lip, but didn’t waver. “Take it to humor her then. Not like it’ll hurt you.”

“Fine.” As Hop leaned up in bed, pulling the blankets back, he avoided eye contact with Leon like usual, but he found himself getting used to it at this point. Hop reached out to grab the pills from the tray in Leon’s lap before downing them with water, all the while Leon watched him, trying to ignore how his palms were growing sweaty. He _really_ smelled good, and it was starting to drive Leon crazy.

“She made you soup, too. You should eat it.”

“Not hungry.” Well, he should’ve expected that, and he did, but it didn’t stop Leon from growing annoyed all over again.

“Like hell you aren’t. When was the last time you ate? You can’t starve yourself like this and not expect Mum to get worried.”

Hop didn’t answer, but continued looking down, his shoulders bunching up as he squeezed a fistful of his blanket in his hands.

Leon waited patiently for a response, but when he didn’t get one, let out a loud sigh. “If you insist on being so difficult, then I’ll just stay in here all night long until I see you’ve eaten the whole bowl.”

“Then I guess you’ll be up for awhile.”

The way Hop bit back at him like that, or snapped back more like, did nothing to curb Leon’s annoyance. This wasn’t the type of arguments they’d get in when they were kids, as they rarely fought, but like any other siblings, they had their spats. This was just…

Leon arched his eyebrow. “I think you already know I’m more than eager to stay up with you all night.” He hadn’t meant to start things like this, but he was already annoyed, and having Hop continue to be difficult—it was making him lose his patience.

He tensed, he definitely tensed when Leon said that, but he didn’t care. Gripping his blanket in his hands, his knuckles losing their color, Hop lifted his head, staring at Leon below a furrowed brow. “So what, if I refuse to eat, are you going to start up with your creepy bullshit again?”

Creepy? Normally, Leon would have tried to defuse the situation, or at least try and gently coax Hop to see things his way, to understand where he was coming from, but he was done with that. Instead of coddling Hop like he’d been trying so hard to do for the past few days, Leon returned the glare and frowned at him. “I’ll force it down your throat is what I’ll do.”

“You’re crazy.” Hop’s knuckles began to shake, but he didn’t drop his glare. Leon could see him fidgeting more and more though, and he knew he’d made him nervous, but he didn’t care. “I don’t understand what’s gotten into you.”

“Quit trying to change the subject, Hop.”

“I’m serious.” And he was. The way his voice lowered, the way his eyes were lidded, never leaving Leon’s, he had never seen Hop more serious. “Did living in Wyndon fuck you up in the head? Someone up there talk you into coming onto your brother or something?”

“I fail to see what this has to do with anything, but if you must know, I did this of my own accord.”

“So you _are_ crazy.” Hop let out a small laugh through his nose, but it was the most joyless sound Leon had ever heard him make.

His temper was just about starting to boil, but Leon fought to keep his composure. “I’m not crazy. You just don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Did losing your title really make you go insane, or did something else happen to make you this way?”

That…actually made Leon stop and think for a moment. In a way, Hop did have a point. He didn’t start having thoughts like these until after he found out his brother had a crush on Gloria who just so happened to be the new champion. Deep down, he knew it was because of his jealousy, that he was afraid of Hop having eyes for someone else, and he just never realized how much he loved— _absolutely loved_ having Hop there for him to make him feel like he was the most amazing person on the planet. Having that jeopardized really was making him go a little crazy, but he would never admit that.

So, yes. He was right (in a way), but Leon sucked in a deep breath before letting it out. Damn if it wasn’t times like these he wanted to scoop Hop up from bed, steal him away into the night, lock him up in his apartment, and just— Leon bit his lip. Now wasn’t the time for thoughts like that, but he couldn’t help it. Every time he thought of Hop professing his love to that girl, it absolutely drove him up the wall to think of them together. Hop, his little brother Hop dating some girl who didn’t even appreciate him like Leon did.

Leon had taken him for granted. He didn’t want to do that anymore. He just wanted Hop to know that he loved him.

“Lee.”

Leon hadn’t realized he’d been off again, staring into space and lost in his thoughts until Hop’s voice roused him back to the real world again. He blinked before looking back at Hop who was no longer glaring at him, but giving him a rather tired look.

“Lee, I—” He swallowed, finally breaking eye contact and lowering his gaze. Leon hated when he did that, when he couldn’t look at him. “I just want to understand something.”

“And what is that?”

“You say you love me, and I believe you, I really do.” He almost sounded a bit desperate when he said that, but Leon waited patiently for him to continue. “I just…” He bit his lip. “I still can’t understand why you’d want to do that to me.”

“So you’ll feel good.” And that was an honest answer, if not a bit nonchalant, but Leon didn’t hesitate with his response at all. “Hop, I just want you to understand how badly I love you and that I can make you feel good. You mean the world to me.”

Hop closed his eyes then, as if contemplating something, and he sucked in slow deep breaths for a long time. As Leon sat there, waiting for him to say something, he couldn’t help but admire how picturesque the scene in front of him was. With Hop framed by his bedside lamp, Leon’s shadow casting over him until it swallowed his as he sat there with closed eyes, simply breathing and existing, Leon felt like an onlooker instead of a participant.

Finally, Hop opened his mouth, his voice very small, but still audible. “I hate this, Lee. I hate the way things are right now.”

Leon nodded. “Me too.” Again, he wanted to whisk him away, take him to his apartment where Hop would surely understand his love if he were to get away from all this. “But, it’ll be okay, I promise.”

Hop sighed, and shook his head before lifting his face and gazing up at the ceiling. “I’m not moving to Wyndon with you.”

His grip on the edge of the tray in his lap tightened without him even realizing, and Leon had to fight not to lose his composure right then and there. Hop wasn’t even trying to take the time to at least think about it. And damn it all if Leon didn’t let his jealousy seethe out when he thought about why Hop didn’t want to leave in the first place. “It’s because of that girl, isn’t it?”

“Her name is Gloria.”

He cringed, and hated that Hop knew he hated hearing her name or even the mention of her. It made him physically ill. “Surprised she hasn’t taken off and abandoned you with all her new found fame and whatnot.”

“Don’t _talk about her like that_ , Lee.” Hop’s voice was low again, and Leon sensed the conversation going in a sour direction, but now he was worked up, but shot his head up, frowning at Hop again like he’d done before.

Leon scoffed, looking down at the bowl of soup on the tray that was surely growing colder by the minute. “We still haven’t addressed the fact you need to eat.”

“Yeah we did. I told you I wasn’t hungry.”

“And I believe I told you I would stay in here all night until you ate something.” With that, Leon picked up the spoon, nabbed a bit of it and pushed it toward Hop’s face as if he were a toddler. “Come on, before it gets cold.”

However, Hop seemed to be in no mood to comply and only flinched away as Leon brought the spoon closer to his mouth. The more he resisted, the more Leon was getting annoyed all over again.

He let out a breath, trying to compose himself. “We can do this all night, Hop. If you insist on acting like a child and refusing to eat, then I’ll have to force you to eat.”

Hop only glared at him, and Leon knew then there was no getting through to him. If he sat here all night long with him, that damn food still wouldn’t get down his throat no matter how much Leon tried to talk to him.

Well, he was done talking.

With his patience spent and his annoyance peaked, Leon picked up the bowl before allowing the tray to fall from his lap and onto the floor as he brought the edge of the bowl to his lips and took a mouthful of it. Without giving Hop the chance to react, not that he knew what he was about to do anyway, Leon discarded the bowl on his bedside table before reaching over the bed, grabbing Hop by both sides of his face, yanking him over toward him, and kissed him on the mouth.

For a moment, he felt Hop give way beneath him, some of the soup escaping his own mouth and Hop choked on it, but he recovered enough to close his mouth and Leon could feel it dribbling down his chin as he tried to force it through. Hop struggled, trying to pull away from him, but Leon had a firm grip on the side of his face, his nails digging into him which he really didn’t want to do, but Hop was forcing him to get rough. If he was going to act like a petulant child and refuse to eat, then Leon was done trying to play nice with him. All he had done over the past week was try and try to be patient, kind, understanding, but Hop wasn’t even giving the effort to return it to him. All he did was say hurtful things, push Leon away, and acted like he knew better than him.

Leon was done. Done trying to play nice, done with coddling him, and done with being patient. Let Hop throw a tantrum like this, let him flinch away like Leon was going to hit him—he didn’t care. He would force it, if he needed to. He would force Hop to understand, and as he clung to the side of his face, nails digging into Hop’s jaw as he tried to force his mouth open, Leon only pushed harder.

Hop protested. As Leon began to climb into the bed with him, straddling him and pushing him back, mouth still attached to his as Hop _refused_ to open and swallow the fucking soup, Leon never let up. Hop pushed, he kicked, he tried thrashing his head, but each time he jerked below him, Leon only dug his nails further into his face. When he pulled one hand back long enough to grip hold of his bottom jaw, he squeezed so hard that Hop finally opened his mouth to let out a yelp of pain, and when he did, Leon expelled the rest of what had been in his mouth to Hop’s.

He choked and gagged, trying to push Leon away as the food dribbled down the sides of his face, and Leon knew he was making a mess, but Hop was the one who pushed him to do this. Hop was the one being difficult. All he had to do, all he _fucking_ had to do was sit there and eat, but no. That was still too much for him to handle, and Leon was absolutely done trying to reason with him. Even as Hop lay on his back, having been forced down by Leon pushing his entire weight on him, he only stopped kissing him long enough for Hop to catch his breath and cough when the soup no doubt went down the wrong way. In a fit of spasms, Hop clutched Leon’s collar, trying to push him away as he coughed and sputtered.

Leon couldn’t help but sneer at him as he continued holding him down. “Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it? But you seem to have made a mess. Maybe if you would stop acting like a child, I wouldn’t have to feed you this way.”

“Get off.” His voice was hoarse from coughing, but Leon shook his head.

“I can do this all night, Hop. Either we can lay like this until morning, or you agree to stop acting like a spoiled brat and eat your dinner.”

The glare Hop gave him was stinging, until Leon felt as though it was physically stabbing him, but he only glared back. If Hop was going to push, then he would push back tenfold.

“Why don’t you go fuck yourself, Lee?”

Not even bothering to give him a response, Leon instead craned his neck back down and kissed him, muffling Hop’s protests when he did. Hop slammed his eyes shut, trying to wriggle away, but Leon didn’t let up. As he kissed, he licked away the remainder of the soup from Hop’s chin, pulling up only to trail his tongue across his face where he kissed and sucked, cleaning away any stray broth that had dripped down. Even as Hop yanked his head to the side, where Leon couldn’t get at his mouth, he didn’t stop. Trailing down, he only paused at his throat and kissed, allowing his whole mouth over him where he sucked, tasting Hop, inhaling the scent of his body wash, and losing himself all over again. Hop shivered below him, still attempting to push him off, but with how Leon was practically laying on him, there was no way Hop would be able to force him off.

He really was small. So small and frail. Leon could just—take him. Not even whisk him away, but even if Hop put up a fight, Leon knew he could overpower him easily. That should have disgusted him he was thinking things like that while holding him down like he was, sucking on his neck, but his cock twitched in anticipation, his desire spread all over him again and the anger boiling in him was dangerously close to coming out in the worst way possible. Without even realizing, Leon had begun thrusting up into him, rocking Hop beneath him as much as was possible with how he engulfed him with his body.

Hop would have no chance. If Leon wanted— _really, really_ wanted, he could fuck him so easily, and Hop would never be able to fight him off.

As he sucked, almost desperately sucking Hop’s neck, he wondered how much he could get away with, but he also knew, despite his desires being so strong, that if Hop screamed, Mum would hear. She would absolutely hear him screaming for Leon to get off him, and he could _not_ afford to let that happen.

With that thought in mind, Leon pulled away, albeit reluctantly, but had to smile when he saw the hickey on Hop’s neck. He had stopped struggling, but now lie there breathing heavy, face red and still turned to the side away from Leon. Even from where he was, Leon could see his pinched brow, his lidded eyes, and it wasn’t long after he stopped sucking his neck did Hop eventually open his mouth.

“Get off of me. You’re suffocating me.”

Now that had to be the dramatics talking, as Leon knew the weight he had pushed down wasn’t actually hurting him, but he couldn’t help but laugh at the same time. Hop could be such a child. “Are you going to eat your dinner now?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” Leaning away, Leon pulled himself off the bed before seating himself back in the chair. While he reached over to grab the bowl from the nightstand, Hop slowly sat up in bed, gaze now focused on his blanket again and his body rather stiff, but he didn’t move at all when Leon held a spoonful of soup to him, intending to feed him.

Hop didn’t look at him. “I can feed myself.”

“The way you’ve been acting, I doubt that.” Through Hop’s biting attitude, Leon wished he would loosen up enough to his teasing, as he really did want to kid around with him, laugh with him, and have some sense of normalcy, but that seemed like such a far off dream now. It didn’t feel like only a few days ago, Hop was bright, cheery, and bouncing with energy. It felt like years he had been sucked dry of life, and Leon felt guilty knowing it was his fault, but at the same time, annoyed that Hop was making it more difficult than it needed to be.

No response, but Hop balled his hands into fists, shrinking down into himself. His patience was already worn thin, and Leon had no qualms about getting rough with him if it meant Hop ate something.

“Come on.” Leon held the spoon out towards his mouth, hoping Hop would comply and it wouldn’t have to come to that. When his brother refused to open his mouth, Leon leaned back in the chair, letting out a loud, drawn out sigh. “Fine, I’ll just have to kiss the whole bowl into your mouth, if that’s the way you want it.”

Hop tensed, finally looking up at him with wide eyes and he seemed to be fighting with himself over what to say, but settled with a shaky, “F-fine, I’ll eat it,” before his face gushed red.

Satisfied for now, Leon gave him a smile before pushing the spoon back towards his face. This time, Hop opened his mouth, though closed his eyes as Leon gently fed him, as though he were feeding a toddler. Hop’s cheeks flared red before he slowly swallowed. After a few more silent moments of Leon feeding Hop, he began to get uncomfortable with the stilted silence.

“Hop, would you at least consider moving to Wyndon? It doesn’t have to be an overnight thing, and you wouldn’t live there forever.” Though, the more Leon thought about it, the more alluring that thought actually was. “I’ll give you whatever you want to eat everyday, you can use all the internet you want, and the city would be there for you to explore if you want to get out and about. It’s a really nice place.”

Face still gushing, Hop swallowed the remainder of the food in his mouth before opening his eyes, at first not looking at Leon, but he drew his face up to look him in the eye. “I am _not_ moving to Wyndon with you.” His words were slow and deliberate and hurt way more than Leon thought they would.

He frowned before letting out a sigh. “So you won’t even consider it?”

“What’s there to consider? We both know what you plan to do if that happens.”

His grip on the bowl tightened. “You make me sound like some kind of monster. Even Mum is open to the idea—”

“Mum wouldn’t if she knew what you were doing to me.”

Leon’s chest caved and he knew Hop knew he had hit the nail dead on the head. He didn’t mean to, he really didn’t mean to sound so nasty when he spoke, but his voice had deepened as he stared at Hop, wishing with every ounce of his body that he wouldn’t get worked up and do something he regretted. “So, you’re going to tell her if I make you move with me? Are you sure she’ll even take your side, I mean, Hop…” He leaned in, never once blinking or removing his gaze from his brother. “You enjoyed it.”

All the color drained from Hop’s face and Leon knew then and there—he wouldn’t tell her. Hop was too embarrassed by that fact, but even still, he clutched his blanket, hands shaking as he did so. “I-I didn’t.”

“I beg to differ. You can say that all you want, but we both know you did. Wonder what Mum will say when you go crying to her and she finds out you liked it?”

“I didn’t!” Hop’s voice raised in pitch, and Leon couldn’t help but continue to push and push, even though he knew these were awful things to say, but Hop had no qualms about saying horrible things to him, so why should he?

“Of course you did. You even moaned for me—”

“I didn’t!”

“—grabbed my hair and pulled so I would go faster—”

“Stop it, Lee.”

“—came so much just because I put my mouth on you that I nearly choked on it—”

“ _Shut up_.”

The more Leon pushed and prodded, the more Hop’s face fell into the most despaired expression he’d ever seen. He looked close to tears, his brow pinched, eyes wide, and if not on the brink of tears, then he certainly looked ready to get sick.

“Lee, I already told you, I like Gloria and I’m—”

“Stop saying that name.” It was an instant gut reaction now for Leon to cringe whenever he heard his brother spout off about her. What did he even see in her? Leon had met her before, multiple times, but she wasn’t anything special. Just an ordinary girl, ordinary trainer, but nothing amazing, nothing that his brother should worry himself over, and yet he was.

“Why do you hate her so much?”

Leon stood from the chair, only bending over to pick up the discarded tray from the floor before grabbing the now empty bowl of food and leaving. He never answered Hop, but didn’t hold back when he slammed his bedroom door shut behind him after exiting. He didn’t understand. He just didn’t understand, and even as Leon huffed when he climbed down the stairs, making his way into the kitchen to wash the bowl and put away the tray, his face was hot from the thought of it.

No matter what he did, Hop was still going on about that girl. It freaked Leon out to think once he went back to Wyndon, Hop would probably confess to her, drop him in a hurry, and he would never see his brother again. Or at least, he’d never get to properly show him how much he loved him. Yet despite Hop’s attitude and growing distaste for him, Leon couldn’t quell his desire much longer. All he wanted was for Hop to understand, so why in the hell was it getting more difficult for him to just— _understand_? Understand Leon wasn’t out to hurt him, he wasn’t a monster, he wasn’t doing any of this to deliberately _hurt_ his brother.

He gripped the edge of the sink as the water trickled down the drain.

He just.

Wanted Hop to know what he meant to him, and how much he loved him.

“Are you okay, honey?” Mum sidled up behind him as he washed the dishes, and he nodded without facing her. “Did Hop give you any trouble?”

“Mum…” He bit his bottom lip, hands shaking as he spoke, but he couldn’t hold it back anymore. “I think you should sit down with Hop and talk with him.” This was dangerous, what he was doing, but Leon didn’t know what else to do.

“About what?”

“About relationships and intimacy.”

Mum let out a soft laugh. “Oh honey, he’s way too young to be having sex. Why, do you think him and his little girlfriend are fooling around?”

As hard as it was for Leon to bite down the bile in his throat, resist the urge to cringe at the mere thought of that, he brought his head up, giving Mum a hard stare. “I just think maybe before he gets too involved with her, you talk with him about it.”

Instead of brushing him off like he thought she would, Mum nodded. “Hmm. I think you’re right. I’ll sit down with him tomorrow if he’s feeling better.”

Leon nodded, the butterflies coming back to his stomach and making him feel sick. If Hop wouldn’t listen to him, then maybe having Mum there would convince him confessing was a bad idea. Maybe he would listen to her and chicken out after all.

Although, stealing his brother away was always another viable option.

Placing the clean dishes back in the cabinet, Leon let out a sigh before starting the slow crawl back upstairs to his bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since the holidays are over, updates might be a bit slower coming, but I HAVE A LOT PLANNED FOR THIS FIC i don’t intend to stop until i write out every bit of it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point, I’ve considered this fic pretty tame? Comparatively speaking anyway, but please please please y’all 
> 
> There is SERIOUS NONCON in this chapter. If that type of thing makes you uncomfortable (you must’ve read the tags right?) then i implore you to read at your own discretion. 
> 
> If you’re alright with that, then i wish you happy reading and once again, thank you for all of your support!! Kudos/comments/bookmarks it’s all very much appreciated!!

The morning air was cold and piercing, but Leon had been prepared this time around. As he dragged himself down the stairs that morning, rubbing sleep from his eyes and trying to shake his grogginess, he held back the chill in the air with a pair of sweatpants and a sweater. Mum, for some reason or another, never felt like turning the heater on in winter more than she had to, but if Leon got desperate enough, he could always take Charizard out of the ball and curl up with him.

“Morning,” Mum called from the kitchen as Leon rounded the corner, yawning as he did so.

“Morning. Where’s Hop?” One quick scan of the kitchen told him Hop was nowhere, as he hadn’t been in his room that morning either. Probably out, he suspected.

Mum only confirmed that thought. “Went out earlier this morning.” Earlier? Leon wiped at his face again. It was already early as it was. Hop wasn’t an early riser by any means, just like Leon didn’t mind catching a few additional hours of sleep, but Hop especially. Even from glancing out the window, Leon could see a fog covering their front lawn, and if the inside of the house was any indication of how cold it was, he dreaded to think how dreary it was outside.

Leon shivered, because he knew he didn’t even have to ask Mum where Hop had gone. He knew. Not that it did anything to placate his increasingly sour mood over the past few days, but he couldn’t help the sigh that escaped as he sat down at the table, resting his face into his hands.

Mum slid up behind him before placing a hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong, honey?”

“Nothing.” Not like he could explain it to her anyway. “Probably still tired.”

“Poor dear. You just need a proper night’s rest.”

Leon uncovered his face long enough to stare down at the dinner mat. “Maybe. By the way, what’s Hop doing running around?” He bit his lip. “He seemed pretty unwell last night.”

“You know that boy. He insisted he felt better. Said you gave him medicine and he ran out the door before I could stop him.” Mum sat down in the chair next to him. “Anything you want for breakfast, dear?”

Leon shook his head. “No thanks. I’m not too hungry right now.”

“Oh, don’t you start with that nonsense too.”

Shrugging, he shot his mother a rather sheepish look. “Sorry. Maybe later.” With that said, Leon stood from the chair, pushing it backward as he did so and Mum gave him a tired sigh.

“Alright, if you insist. I want the both of you together for dinner tonight, however. You’ve only got two more days left before you have to leave and I want the family together at least once before that happens.”

Leon nodded as he turned heel and climbed back up the stairs. “You don’t have to try and convince me. I want us to have a proper meal before I leave just as much as you do.”

Before Mum could say anything else on the matter, Leon had climbed to the top of the stairs, sighing when he flopped back onto his bed and pulled out his phone. There really hadn’t been any point in getting up, as he knew once he got comfortable, he would pass right back out. Still, he scrolled through his phone, checking status updates from his friends back at the Battle Tower and answering a few texts from Raihan (mostly about when he’d be back), but after awhile, his eyes began to droop as the words muddled together on the screen.

He couldn’t help but feel a little guilty for last night, having Hop get so angry with him. But, even though the guilt was tugging at his chest, he also told himself Hop was the one who drove him to that point in the first place. If he would stop being so difficult—Leon leaned up in bed, his hair falling past his shoulders. If Hop would just…lie there and accept him, accept his love, understand he would never hurt him, and just—like it? Leon would have no reason to do some of the things he did. He never wanted to hold him down, he never wanted to say those awful things to him, but Hop drove him to it. Hop was making this whole situation too complicated when all Leon had tried to do was show him love and affection.

And yet.

He thought back to what Hop had said, about what had made him this way, and Leon couldn’t help to dwell on it. Of course, he always had a great relationship with his little brother. Hop looked up to him like he was the sun and moon itself, always prattling on about wanting to be just like him when he grew up. There was nothing Leon loved more than seeing his brother smile up at him, laugh with him, brag to other people about how Leon— _the Leon_ —was his big brother.

He was afraid of losing him. Losing Hop to that _fucking girl_. What was Leon supposed to do when Hop finally confessed, and ran after his girlfriend? He would leave Leon in the dust, no longer his hero, no longer his idol, but just—

A has been.

Leon knew he no longer held any of that former glory he once had. He was just a washed up trainer after all. One of the greats, now reduced to nothing, all because—

 _Of that fucking girl_.

If it weren’t for her, Hop wouldn’t be crushing on her, hoping the feelings were mutual. If she hadn’t stolen Leon’s title, his little brother would still be looking up to him, cherishing him, smiling at him—if it weren’t for _Gloria_ he’d—

Would he still be lusting after Hop?

The thought made Leon stare straight ahead, discarding his phone off to the side where the screen vibrated to life as Raihan texted him a recent picture of himself. It remained unopened as Leon glazed over his collection of snap backs, his desk, his weights off in the corner. A sinking feeling stabbed him straight in the stomach and made his whole body feel like it weighed two tons.

Would he, he wondered? Have ever looked at Hop this way if not for her? Would he even be sitting here, thinking about how he wanted Hop to reciprocate so bad, so, so fucking bad to his feelings, his touches, his kisses, everything Leon wanted to give him? This madness never would have started if it wasn’t for her, but maybe, in some kind of sick way, Leon should be thanking her.

Thanking her for making him realize that losing Hop was his greatest fear. If not for all of this craziness over the past few days, Leon would have come and gone, never realizing he was so close to losing Hop forever.

He let out a sigh, closing his eyes.

No, he didn’t regret it. He didn’t regret anything at all. Right here, right now, as he sat breathing in deeply while his phone buzzed beside him, he knew without a doubt that he loved Hop more than anything, even if Hop was mad at him, even if Hop hated him for the rest of his life for doing this, Leon would love him. He would show him, he would never stop trying to make Hop understand just what he did to him, how he made him feel.

Even thinking about him now, there was a warmth in his chest that made him happy. Hop made him happy, happier than he’d ever been. While this entire week was full of a lot of heartache, it was also the happiest Leon had felt in a long, long time.

If clinging to Hop like this was the only last bit of sanity Leon had left in the world, then he would never, ever let him go. He would show him. He’d prove to Hop that his love wasn’t a lie, or something Leon was desperate to convince himself of. He knew what he felt, and he knew that he loved his brother more than anything.

A small smile spread on his face as Leon felt the warmth in his chest cascade over his whole body.

Hop might hate him forever, but he was fine with that. Leon would take as long as he needed to take, be as patient as he could possibly be, until the day Hop understood.

* * *

The distinct sound of voices from downstairs roused Leon from sleep. Coming to and leaning up in bed, groggy as all hell, a quick glance out the window letting him know the sun was just beginning to set, Leon wiped at his face when the voices of Mum and Hop only grew louder. Curious, Leon stood from bed, creeping over to his door and pulled it open, poking his head out into the hall far enough he could just make out what they were saying.

Mum’s tone was none too pleased. “Hop, you’re lying to me!”

“I am not!”

“Yes, you are! What on earth have you been doing over there?”

“We’re just hanging out, Mum!”

“Are you having sex? Hop, you’re too young to be fooling around with girls like this!”

“I’m _not_ fooling around with her!”

Beads of sweat formed at the base of Leon’s neck the longer he stood frozen like he was, hand glued on his door handle as the argument only escalated.

“Then explain to me where those hickeys came from.”

“That’s—!” Even from where he stood, Leon could hear the way Hop choked on his own words, not able to think of a lie quickly enough. Of course, they both knew that was Leon’s fault, and he should have felt guilty that Hop was catching the flack for something that he himself did to him.

But—

“Don’t even try to lie about this, Hop. I thought you were smarter than this!”

“Mum, for the last time, _I am not fooling around with Gloria!_ Did Lee tell you that I was?!”

At the mention of his name, Leon tensed, palms sweaty from gripping the door handle.

Mum only continued to shout back at him. “Don’t you dare try to pin this on your brother! All he’s done is look out for you and you know how rarely he comes home anyway, and you have the _nerve_ to dilly dally around the entire time he’s here to visit! I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but it’s stopping tonight. Go up and wash for dinner. We’re done with this discussion.”

At that, Leon could hear Hop huffing before stomping up the stairs. Trying to hide the fact he’d been eavesdropping, Leon quickly shuffled back into his room before closing his door as he heard Hop make his way up the stairs. What he thought was Hop about to close himself up in his room surprised him as Hop ripped open his bedroom door, glaring at Leon as he made his way into his room, shutting the door behind him.

He wasted no time. “Why did you tell Mum I was fooling around with Gloria?” His voice held no hesitation or composure, but he seemed closer to hysterics the longer he stood there, never breaking his stare.

Leon couldn’t help but swallow before answering. He wasn’t used to seeing Hop look at him this way. “I didn’t tell her—”

“Bullshit! Why else would she jump me the second I got home?”

Leon frowned, trying to think of the best way to diffuse this situation. If Hop got riled up enough, Mum might come upstairs and the argument would only intensify. Then what did he plan to do if Hop told her Leon was responsible for the hickeys on his neck? Although, he hardly regretted putting them there, he felt stupid for not thinking Mum would notice, because of course she would. He really didn’t think that one through. “All I told her was to talk to you about intimacy and—”

“Intimacy?” Hop cut him off before balling his hands into fists. Even standing from where he was, Leon could see him gritting his teeth and looking as though he were holding back the urge to punch him. “You know all about _intimacy_ don’t you? Why don’t you explain to me why it’s okay for you to touch me without my permission, but somehow it’s a problem if I want to hang out with my best friend?”

Despite how angry he was, how Hop wasn’t holding anything back right now, Leon couldn’t help but cringe at his words. His _best friend?_ Really? Hop saw Gloria as his _best friend?_ Leon would have rolled his eyes and laughed had Hop not been glaring at him like he was, with as much hatred in his eyes as he was. “Don’t lecture me, Hop, I’m not the one chasing after a skirt like you are when I know for a fact she’s going to drop you.”

“You aren’t even trying to answer the question.”

“Because you already know the answer.”

“ _NO_ , I don’t!” He was shouting now, and Leon tensed at the fact Mum might hear him freaking out and come upstairs. This whole thing was getting out of control. “Lee, you’re a fucking hypocrite! You say and do things that don’t make any sense, you’re constantly trying to tell me that Gloria isn’t really my friend and doesn’t care about me, and you won’t stop touching me when it makes me uncomfortable!”

“I already told you why I do that. You’re the one who refuses to believe me.”

“Saying you love me isn’t an excuse. It’s wrong and you _know_ it.”

His words were cutting a little too deep, and Leon couldn’t help to bite his lip as he stared down at his brother who not once since he’d been upstairs stopped glaring at him and baring his teeth like a wild animal. Hop hated him, he really—really hated him. Not even his words, but just the way _he was looking at him_ —Leon swallowed again. This isn’t how he wanted Hop to see him. He didn’t want his brother to hate him. Why couldn’t he just see? What was he going to have to do in order to make him understand that Leon was only trying to protect him and that he loved him?

“It’s not wrong of me to want to protect you.” Not able to take that look on Hop’s face anymore, Leon turned his gaze downward. There was nothing else to look at. “Hop, I just—fuck, I just wish you’d _understand_ how much I love you. Coming back home made me realize I never want to lose you. If you’d just listen to me when I tell you that girl is no good, you’d see that she’s only going to hurt you.”

“Why are you so obsessed with telling me she’s—” Hop suddenly cut himself off, and Leon looked up to see his brother’s expression slowly fall. No longer was he glaring, baring his teeth, but his mouth thinned, his eyebrows pinched, and slowly, almost too slowly, Leon watched his eyes grow wide before he took a tentative step backward. “Y-you’re…” Hop swallowed.

He was what? Leon wanted to press him, but he knew he couldn’t. Hop was too emotional right now and he risked an outburst if he so much as said or did the wrong thing. All he could do was wait as Hop took another step back, about to brush his back against the bedroom door as he stared at Leon with an expression he could only describe as horror.

“Y-you’re…jealous.” The way he said it sounded like he was trying to convince himself rather than stating the obvious. As he stood there, breathing heavy and wide-eyed, Leon could feel his heart race at the accusation. He knew he was jealous, this whole fucking week he had been seething with jealousy, and it drove a lot of his actions and words to the point he felt like he was suffocating under it all.

Yes, he was jealous. How could he not be when Hop had eyes for someone other than him?

“That’s why you’re trying to…keep me away from her. You don’t want me confessing, y-you don’t want…” He trailed off, his eyes finally lowering until he was gazing at the floor. In that moment, Hop became strangely frozen in place until Leon wasn’t sure if he was even breathing anymore.

He began to panic. “Hop, I just don’t want her hurting you is all. I know what I’m talking about, I’ve seen people like her rise to fame and let it get to them where they use other people for their own gain. I don’t want you to become someone she ends up stepping on and throwing away.”

“You really are crazy.” Hop wasn’t even listening to him anymore and had receded into himself, shoulders hunching and Leon could see his palms shaking as he took yet another step backward, finally backing into the door. “You—you’re crazy.” The way Hop’s voice had started to quiver was worrying Leon, and he closed the distance between them, only causing Hop to stiffen up against the door.

“Hop, I love you, I promise I’m only trying to protect you!”

“Get away from me.” His breathing was heavy, his entire body shaking at this point.

“Hop, listen to me!” When he tried to reach out and grip his shoulder, Hop flinched back from his touch, now staring up at him, eyes wider than ever.

“Don’t _touch me!_ Don’t ever touch me again! You’re sick, y-you’re crazy, y-y—” Whatever it was he was trying to say, Leon never heard as he pressed both arms on either side of him, trapping Hop against the door before he bent down and kissed him on the mouth.

Hop went rigid only for a split second before thrashing underneath him as if he were drowning and trying to claw his way back to the surface. Leon only pressed his weight into him to push him against the door, further trapping him as he continued to kiss. As Hop wriggled underneath him, he jerked his head to the side, breaking away from the kiss long enough to let out a strangled gasp as Leon instead kissed the front of his throat, right on his barely noticeable Adam’s apple.

“Stop.” Hop’s voice was no more than a gasp of air, but Leon was growing desperate. He couldn’t help but try and force his brother to calm down when he got like this and the only way to do that would be to hold him down until he realized Leon wasn’t going to hurt him.

Again, he sucked his throat, kissing random spots as Hop tried pushing at his chest to get him off, but Leon wouldn’t budge. The more he struggled, the more compelled Leon was to push back at him until he was sure he stopped.

“Lee, get _off of me!_ ”

“No.” It was a simple response, but he honestly wasn’t sure what Hop expected him to do, especially with how he was acting. “Not until you calm down.”

“Stop fucking touching me and I will!” The pitch of his voice grew higher when he said that, but Leon leaned away from his throat long enough to look at his face. That moment he wasn’t pressing his weight onto Hop, that one small moment he leaned away from him, he didn’t expect Hop to rear back with his arm and hook his fist into the side of Leon’s face. When he did, it threw Leon off balance and he stumbled, giving Hop ample time to dip under his arms, yank the door open, and sprint out into the hallway.

“Hop!” Reaching out, Leon went to grab at the back of his jacket and yank him back into the room, but Hop was just a little too fast, and Leon’s fingers only nabbed air as Hop practically fell down the stairs as he ran.

Cupping his stinging cheek, Leon took after him, but by the time he even reached the top of the stairs, Hop had leaped downward, landing at the bottom and stumbling only for a moment before he yanked open the front door and flew outside.

“Hop?!” Mum popped her head out of the kitchen just as Leon reached the bottom of the stairs, still holding onto his cheek and staring out the front door as he watched Hop’s figure disappear around the corner. Mum appeared beside him, calling out to Hop who was long gone now. “Hop, where on earth are you going?!”

Leon clutched the edge of the doorframe as a chilled air blew through, making him shiver and only intensifying the sting in his cheek.

“What happened?” Mum was on him now, just noticing the mark on his face. “Did he hit you?”

“It was an accident.” He wasn’t about to incriminate Hop, even though his heart was pounding and Leon felt desperate as he and Mum pulled themselves back into the house. Wherever Hop had run off to, neither one of them would be able to catch up to him at this point. Leon had never seen his brother run so fast in all his life and even though his instincts were telling him to grab Charizard and fly after him, he held himself back. A feeling in his gut was telling him to let Hop go and be patient. He couldn’t stay out all night long. He’d be back eventually once he calmed down.

“Leon, what’s going on? What happened?” As they made their way back into the kitchen, Leon sat down at the table as Mum fussed over his slowly bruising cheek, fetching him a bag of ice to hold onto it as she sat opposite him.

“Nothing happened.” Though, the churning in his stomach had a lot to say about that, Leon of course couldn’t tell her the truth. “We just got into an argument is all.” Well, that was only partially true.

“What’s happening to him? Leon, I’m getting worried. Hop hasn’t been acting right all week and I don’t know if something’s happened to him. He won’t talk to me.” Now Mum was starting to sound frantic and Leon tried to think of something to say to calm her down as well.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into him, Mum. He won’t listen to a thing I say.”

A few moments of silence came over them and Leon could feel the tension getting thicker with each passing moment. Mum finally let out a sigh before speaking. “Maybe we should all sit down and talk together. Try and push the whole moving to Wyndon thing.”

As much as Leon would absolutely love that, he knew Hop wouldn’t go for it, especially not now. If he ever had any hope of Hop moving in with him, he would have to have at least some form of compliance from him, and Leon just wasn’t getting that right now. Hop still didn’t believe he loved him as much as he struggled to try and convince him. Hop even said he believed him, but Leon knew he didn’t. Not really. He wouldn’t be acting like this if he truly believed him.

Still, he let out a long sigh, pulling the ice away from his cheek that burned from the cold and stared down at his hands for a long moment. Part of him wanted to take Charizard, go find Hop wherever he had run off to, snatch him away, and fly all the way back to Wyndon with him, but if he ever forced Hop to do that, he would never forgive him. Even though Leon was pretty sure he hated him now, and even though he wanted nothing more than to lock him up in his apartment and keep him all to himself, doing so would guarantee his brother would never trust him again.

He held his face in his hands. Leon was so tired. So tired of Hop fighting with him, arguing with him, pushing him away. If it weren’t for the constant pushing on Hop’s end, he knew without a doubt if his brother would just stop being so difficult, they could work this out. If Hop sat back, allowed Leon to show him he was loved, then he could learn to enjoy it. He could learn to love the things Leon did to him.

After all, he’d already made him orgasm more than once. Hop wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t like it. His body may have loved it, but Leon couldn’t seem to convince his brother that he too liked it and that everything would be okay.

Leon…

Leon wasn’t doing anything wrong, he knew that. Hop was just shy, that’s all. Just had a hard time with intimacy because he wasn’t used to it. That was all.

Right. Leon let out another tired sigh. That was all.

* * *

Dinner came and went, passing by in relative silence and even though Hop never showed up, Leon and his mother chatted about nonsensical things until darkness had settled in, a low fog pooling around Postwick as the cold night air settled in. Leon helped Mum with the dishes as they continued chatting, but he could tell it was stilted and forced. Mum was worried about Hop, just like he was, as he had gone running off toward Wedgehurst for some reason. Whatever his reasons were for heading that way, neither Leon nor Mum could figure it out, but all they could do was hope he returned home soon, especially with the fog and cold settling in like it was.

However, by the time it was coming upon midnight, Hop still hadn’t returned home. Leon was about ready to pull his coat on and go out looking for him, but Mum stopped him.

“I don’t want you out there getting lost in the cold as well. Hop isn’t stupid. He’ll find somewhere to stay if he’s out there running around somewhere.”

Leon nodded. He knew. He knew Hop wasn’t stupid, but that didn’t stop him from worrying about him. Where on earth had he gone off to? Not since his gym challenger days had Hop stayed gone from home all night like this, but even as Leon reluctantly climbed the stairs to flop down in his bed, staring out the window from where he was at the foggy darkness, he worried and worried.

If only Hop knew what he was doing to him, causing him to panic like this. If push came to shove, Leon knew he had his Pokemon with him to protect him if anything happened, but that did nothing to quell his growing anxiety. With Hop having left home like he was, emotional and upset, there was no telling what he was out there doing. He might have taken the train somewhere, or worse—

Leon gulped.

He might be out there with Gloria.

The thought made him cringe and did nothing to help his rapid heartbeat as the thought of his brother not only out in the middle of the night somewhere, but out there with that girl—Leon sat up in bed. There was no way he could settle down with these thoughts buzzing in his head and he wished Hop would just come home already so they could talk things out. A lot of his problems felt like they could be talked out, but Hop was the one refusing to talk, not Leon. All Hop did was close his ears and refuse to listen anytime Leon tried to explain something to him.

Taking in a deep breath, Leon let it out slowly as he shifted onto his side, lying back down in bed and trying his hardest to get some sleep. If he at least knew where Hop was, somewhere safe and sound, he wouldn’t be worrying so much. It was partially his fault anyway. When Hop ran away, he should have tried harder to go after him, catch him, and drag him back to the house if he had to, but he stood there and watched him run away.

It was heartbreaking watching Hop act like this, run away from him, and even going so far as to hit him—Leon swallowed. He tried to reason with himself it was just because Hop was emotional right now. He was fighting not only with Leon, but with Mum, and she suspected he was intimate with Gloria, even though Leon had been the one to give him hickeys, so he knew some of the blame was on him for having this happen in the first place. He’d gotten careless, so of course Hop was angry at him that Mum was on his case. He just wished—wished Hop would understand.

At some point, the darkness overtook him as Leon’s mind continued racing, and he fell asleep, feeling like he’d only slept for thirty minutes before Mum was shaking him awake, frantically calling his name and rousing him from sleep. Leon blinked, groggy and exhausted, but the morning sun was just peeking in through the window, so he must have slept longer than he felt like.

“Leon.” Mum’s voice was shaking like she was on the verge of tears. “Hop never came home. He won’t answer his phone, and Gloria’s mum said she’s missing too. She doesn’t know where the both of them have gone.”

Immediately, Leon sat up straight in bed, his heart beginning to thump in his ears. Oh shit, oh shit, did Hop really—?

Mum held a hand to her mouth as Leon stood from bed. “I-I don’t know where he could have gone. I’m so worried about him.”

“Me too.” Even Leon’s voice was shaking as he strode past Mum, reaching into the closet to pull out a thick coat and grab Charizard’s pokeball that rested on his desk. “I’m going out to look for him.” Before Mum could stop him or say another word, Leon had snatched his bag off the back of his chair before hurrying down the stairs and out the front door. The fog was only that much thicker this morning and he could see his breath as he sucked air in and out.

“Be careful.” Mum waved to him as he let Charizard out of his pokeball, climbed on top, and in seconds, was flying up into the sky, Postwick becoming no more than a small miniature underneath him.

Leon wasted no time and flew off toward Motostoke, his heart racing and his palms shaking as he held onto Charizard for dear life the faster they flew. All he could think about was that Hop had done it—he met up with Gloria and he confessed. That’s why he never came home—he confessed to her and she accepted, and they ran off to who knew where now. His hands shook less from the cold and more from the thought he was about to lose his brother forever. What in the world was he going to do if he found them together in town? Would he just…run up to Hop, scoop him up, and fly away with him?

Leon gritted his teeth. He might. He might just do that. If Hop really had confessed and run away with her, then Leon had to find them fast. He was so stupid for not running after him last night if he he’d known he was going to be running after Gloria. If Gloria had also run away from home, then that was the only explanation Leon could think of, that they were running somewhere together.

He knew. He knew the moment he found Hop, if he got lucky enough to find him on the streets, he was going to pluck him away the second he found him. Leon didn’t care how badly he hated him, how much he fought, how much he screamed, he knew then the moment he found his brother, he was taking him to Wyndon whether he wanted to go or not.

Motostoke came into view and the second Charizard touched down, Leon had jumped off his back, digging into his bag to pull out his phone. Mum said Hop wasn’t taking her calls, and even though Leon doubted he would pick up for him, that didn’t stop him from dialing his number in a frantic panic as he took off down the streets.

The phone buzzed only once before it sent him to voicemail and Leon swore through his teeth. Either Hop was ignoring him, or he had his phone turned off. As he tore off down the streets, running on his panic and not really thinking about where he planned to look, he pulled up Raihan’s number and texted him, asking him if he had seen his brother.

Not five seconds passed before he received a reply that simply said no.

Again, Leon swore under his breath, but Raihan sent him another text.

_‘do u want me to ask the others?’_

Biting his bottom lip, Leon tried to quell his shaking hands before replying, _‘Yes, I have no idea where he is. He isn’t answering his phone.’_

_‘got it i’ll let them kno.’_

With that out of the way, Leon pocketed his phone before rounding the corner as he searched around for any signs of his brother. He hadn’t wanted to get the others involved, but he didn’t know what else to do at this point. Right now, his brother could be on the train somewhere running away with that girl, and he would be none the wiser. Leon knew he was looking for a needle in a haystack, but he was running on his adrenaline, Charizard at his heels as he tore down the streets, checking every shop and Pokemon center he could.

* * *

The sun had started to set by the time Leon was leaned up against the side of a building, breathing heavy, heart racing, sweating from exhaustion, and no closer to knowing his brother’s whereabouts than when he started. Raihan had been texting him throughout the day, having gotten the other gym leaders involved, but everyone came up empty. Nobody had seen Hop or Gloria for that matter, and Leon’s knees were giving out from all the running around he’d been doing.

This was hopeless. There was no way he was going to find Hop at this point, and he had no idea where to even begin looking. No matter how many times he called, Hop’s phone went straight to voicemail and only left Leon feeling even more hopeless the more he called. His only option at this point was to go home and try again tomorrow, but he couldn’t bring himself to do that. He would stay out here and search for Hop until he found him, and if he was with Gloria, which Leon strongly suspected he was, he wasn’t going to hesitate to snatch him away and fly straight to Wyndon.

His stomach churned and Leon clutched onto the sleeve of his coat. How could he do this? How could he let Hop run away like that, knowing he was upset, knowing he might do something stupid like this, and now he had no idea where he was, if he was even safe, or if he had left Galar entirely with Gloria.

Charizard nuzzled his palm, trying to get Leon to pet him, but he flinched away from him. He was in no mood to be comforted, even if it was with good intentions, but his panic was refusing to allow him a moment of rest. The second he caught his breath, he hauled himself back onto Charizard before they took to the skies once more. Leon had already flown all around the city, covering the Wild area just outside Motostoke, but there was no sign of Hop anywhere.

As he flew past Motostoke, flying over the vast expanse of the Wild area that led to Hammerlocke, he could see the sky becoming covered in dark clouds, and if Leon didn’t hurry, he would not only be limited by the darkness, but the incoming rain as well.

His chest ached as he searched, pushing Charizard to his limit as they frantically flew around, Leon refusing to stop and rest until they had searched every last inch for his brother. He only flew close to the ground to search every nook and cranny he came across. The only thoughts running through his head were that Hop had run away with Gloria and they were no longer in Galar. The thought of Hop being long gone, truly gone, made Leon want to throw up, and only intensified his panic as the storm clouds above grew darker and darker.

The feeling of his phone buzzing in his pocket drew Leon out of his thoughts long enough to reach down, and pick up.

“Leon!” It was Mum, sounding just as frantic and worried as Leon felt right now. “Leon, Gloria came back home!”

Upon hearing those words, Leon pulled onto the back of Charizard to stop him until they were only hovering in the air. “What? Is Hop with her?!”

“No, he didn’t come home with her.”

Leon’s heart sank, but Mum spoke again before he could. “She said he dragged her out last night with him and they were in the Wild area, but something happened and he took off toward Hammerlocke Hills last she saw him.”

Leon wasted no time. Pushing Charizard to the limit, he hung up on Mum before taking off in that direction, feeling the lightest sprinkles of rain hit him in the face as he searched high and low for his brother. He had to be out here somewhere then! All Leon had to do was search—

A rumble of thunder sounded overhead, the rain beginning to pick up slightly, until it was prominently hitting him in the face now, but Leon pushed Charizard. If he kept him out while it rained, it would only weaken him where he couldn’t fly anymore.

Flying over Hammerlocke Hills, Leon still didn’t spot Hop anywhere below him, but kept pushing. If he had to continue this on foot, he would, but he wasn’t going to stop now. Not when he was so close.

Just as he passed over the Lake of Outrage, something caught Leon’s eye. Huddled in the corner on the small island right off the edge of Hammerlocke Hills, he spotted a tent underneath the one tree in that small corner. Without wasting one second, Leon dove out of the sky toward the island, pushing past the rain that was picking up and causing Charizard to let out a cry of distaste as he got rained on, but Leon pushed and pushed him, until he practically jumped off Charizard’s back from the sky as they landed onto the small island.

It was Hop’s tent. Hop’s tent sat underneath the tree, a small glow of light coming from inside and Leon immediately called Charizard back into his ball just as the rain and thunder loomed overhead. Breathing heavy, heart pounding, and absolutely spent, Leon ripped open the flap of the tent, immediately seeing the curled up form of his brother tucked underneath a blanket. Hop jumped up as he entered the tent, and Leon collapsed onto his hands and knees as he breathed heavy, the rain pelting the tent from outside and his mind was blank right now.

All he could feel was relief. He’d found him. He’d found Hop. He actually found him. If he wasn’t so relieved that Hop was right here in front of him, he would have been angry at him for scaring the shit out of him like that and causing him so much grief and worry.

It was silent for a long while as Leon caught his breath, trying not to fall down as he breathed slowly to steady his heartbeat, but Hop finally spoke, his voice small and meek. “What are you doing here?”

Was he for real? Leon leaned up, sitting back onto his knees as he finally sucked in air and caught his breath. He’d only been desperately searching for him all day long and this was the question Hop chose to ask him? “You…” Leon sucked in air, still trying to calm down. Even though he’d finally found him, Leon’s body was still running on adrenaline. “You had us worried sick! You just up and run away without a word and have the nerve to turn off your phone where we can’t reach you? Do you have any idea how long I’ve been looking for you? Anything could have happened to you, Hop!”

“So?” Hop’s voice was low and unconcerned, and to Leon’s surprise, he curled back under the covers, and turned onto his side where he was facing away from Leon. “What do you care?”

It annoyed him when Hop got smart with him, and it annoyed him even more when Hop pushed him away and argued with him, but this—hearing Hop sound so devoid of emotion and like he didn’t even care that he caused Leon and their Mum so much fucking heartache today—he found himself crawling over to him, not even bothering to be gentle at this point, grab Hop by the arm to yank him up, and when he did, he gripped hold on both sides of Hop’s arms, pulling him in so close their noses almost touched.

“You made Mum worried to death, Hop. You made _me_ worried to death. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why in the hell would you leave like that without a single word to anybody? I had everyone out there looking for you, I spent all day scouring everywhere for you, thinking something horrible had happened, and you have the nerve to say _it doesn’t matter?_ ”

He expected Hop to give him lip, to push him off, to grow angry with him and start another fight that Leon had absolutely no energy left to give into, but—

He didn’t expect Hop’s eyes to well up with tears, brow pinched, and grow stiff in his hold. His lip quivered, and the moment Hop lowered his gaze, Leon watched as the tears fell, and Hop reached up desperately to wipe them off with his sleeve.

“What’s wrong? Hop, what happened?” Seeing his brother break down in front of him like this, Leon loosened his hold, leaning back to give him space and waiting for Hop to gain some composure long enough to talk to him.

He cried. With his arm now held at his face, Hop cried, his shoulders quaking as he did so, sucking in strangled gasps of air as he could do nothing to control the sobs that came out. Leon had waited patiently enough for him, but he reached out, this time wrapping his arms around his brother and pulling him in close, until he was almost in his lap.

To his surprise, Hop hooked both arms around him, gripping the back of Leon’s coat, and he dug his head into his chest before sobbing into his front. It broke Leon’s heart to see his brother cry like this, especially since he had never, ever seen him break down like this before. Not like this, not in his arms, shaking with every sob that wracked his body, until Leon could feel every shiver from him, hear ever gasp of air, and every tear Hop expelled soak into his shirt. Hop was crying with every bit of his body, and Leon held onto him, rocking back and forth as gently as he could, reaching up to run his fingers through his hair and shush him quietly.

“Hop, what on earth happened?” He spoke quietly, gently, as he rocked his brother, trying to comfort him and quiet him down. The rain that pelted the tent was the only other noise then, as Hop sobbed and sniffled, and it felt like hours Leon sat there with him, holding him, rocking him, never once pulling away. After a long bout of silence as Hop hiccuped and cried into him, hands now shaky from gripping the back of his coat, his brother finally spoke.

“Sh….s-sh…” But, his words were failing on him, his voice just as shaky as the rest of him was. In his hold, Leon could feel every tremble he made, feel the wetness on his shirt front from Hop’s crying, and he waited for as long as was needed for Hop to finally say what he had to say.

He didn’t push further or prod, but only held onto him, hoping that the rhythmic sound of the rain helped to soothe his brother.

“She…” Hop finally quieted down somewhat, no longer sobbing like before, but his voice still shaken. “She rejected me, Lee.”

Leon stiffened, leaning away when Hop finally pulled his face away from his chest. His eyes were bloodshot from crying, his face stained with tears, and his gaze stayed cast downward as he continued crying quietly. That horrible pit filled Leon’s stomach and he hated—absolutely hated how happy that made him. “What happened?” He only partially cared, but he cared about Hop’s well-being now, and he hated seeing his brother upset like this.

“I…” Hop swallowed, still looking down, but as they pulled away from the hug, kept clutching the sides of Leon’s sleeves, as if needing something to hold onto. Leon didn’t mind. The contact made him happy actually. “I met up with her last night… I was so mad.” He looked so tired then, his eyes lidded and even though he stopped shaking and was growing lax, Leon could see stray tears fall every now and then. It made him want to hold him close again and kiss him, but he held back as he waited for Hop to speak. “I told her I wanted to talk to her and—” His face gushed red then as he slammed his eyes shut. “She told me no.”

It was awful, absolutely horrible how the butterflies in Leon’s stomach were growing. This shouldn’t have made him as happy as it did, but he could have never fathomed that Gloria would reject Hop like this.

Hop’s lip quivered, face still radiating heat and gushing red. “I-I thought she liked me too.”

“I told you.” And Leon couldn’t help it. As Hop sat there in his arms, gripping hold of his sleeve and allowing Leon to hold him like this, he couldn’t help the biting words that sprang forth like poison. It was his jealousy, he knew that, but he couldn’t help to say it. “Hop, I tried to warn you and you didn’t listen.”

“I just…Lee, I just…” More tears fell and dripped from the side of Hop’s face, his grip on Leon’s coat only intensifying. “I thought…” But whatever he had to say, he left it at that.

As the rain and thunder outside continued on, Leon gently pulled his brother back into a hug, surprised when he didn’t push him away. He knew he should have said something comforting, said something to ease Hop’s worries about the whole thing, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. After all, Hop had him running around all day, scared out of his mind that something awful had happened to him, and he even had to get Raihan on the lookout until most of the gym leaders knew Hop had run away. He put so many people out by running off like that, and Leon was still a bit cross with him over it, even though he was so relieved Hop was okay, he still had the urge to drag him out of this tent and take him to Wyndon.

If it wasn’t storming right now, he probably would have.

With Hop having fallen lax in his hold, allowing Leon to cling and hug onto him, Hop’s sniffles fading away until he was no longer crying, Leon couldn’t help but dig his face into the crook of his neck and kiss him. Hop shivered in his arms, but didn’t push away, so Leon kept going. Trailing a line of random kisses here and there, he breathed in the scent of Hop, never realizing that he loved—absolutely _loved_ the way he smelled. It was that slight sweet scent that he couldn’t quite place, but only made him want to sit there with his face dug into him and inhale his scent even longer. Whatever Hop washed with, Leon was getting turned on by the fact he was starting to associate this scent with Hop himself. Even as he kissed and sucked Hop’s neck, only gaining a slight shiver from him every once in awhile, he was growing hard, and didn’t shy away from thrusting into him when he did so.

“…Lee?” Hop spoke, Leon feeling the vibration of his voice as he kissed his throat.

“Yeah?” He pulled away only long enough to answer before kissing the side of his neck again, trailing down to his shoulder, pulling back the collar of his shirt just enough to kiss at his collarbone.

“I-I don’t…I don’t wanna do this right now.”

Again, Leon leaned away long enough to answer. “You don’t have to do anything, Hop.” Even though he wished Hop would climb all the way into his lap and grind on his erection, he knew that was out of the question. “I can do the work. Just sit there and enjoy it.”

“Lee.” He felt him stiffen as he continued kissing, as Hop gripped hold of his sleeves and squeezed. “I’m tired. I just want to go to bed, okay?”

“I’m tired too. Think I wouldn’t be after running around trying to find you all day?” He hadn’t meant to, but when he said that, he leaned up on his kiss and scraped his teeth along Hop’s collarbone, causing him to gasp and push against him ever so slightly.

“I-I’m sorry. I just wanted to be alone.”

“You could have at least called or something.” Still, as they spoke, Leon didn’t stop kissing, and the lower he went, the more Hop seized up under him. When he pulled down his collar enough to reach his clavicle, Hop jumped when he dragged his tongue across him, tasting him, indulging in the sweet scent that felt like it was engulfing him. Leon only grew harder at the scent, feeling, and taste of his brother, and when he grinded into him again, Hop pulled back from him.

“Don’t—Lee, stop.” When he pulled away, Leon only reached around him, pressing his palm into his back and pulling Hop back into him where he kissed the top of his chest.

“Mmm, I already told you, you don’t have to do anything.”

“I don’t want to do this!” At the sound of the desperation in Hop’s voice at that point, Leon leaned away from him, still pulling him in close and keeping his grip on him, but pinching his eyebrows as he frowned at him, even though Hop was looking off to the side and not at him.

“Hop, when are you going to start listening to me? I was right about Gloria, wasn’t I?”

Hop snapped his face around, eyes wide and still bloodshot from crying earlier, but glued to Leon. “N—that’s not—”

“Yes, I was. Look at what you’ve done. You ran away from home, confessed to her, and she rejected you, just like I told you she would.” Hop began shaking as Leon held onto him, tears once more piling into the corner of his eyes, but remaining stagnate. “I knew, Hop, that’s why I kept telling you that I knew people like her. You didn’t listen to me and now look what’s happened.”

A stray tear fell, dripping off Hop’s chin as his cheeks flared red. He lowered his gaze, but said nothing.

“Hop, I’ve told you a million times I love you and I won’t hurt you. I was right about Gloria. Why can’t you believe me about this?” When he moved into him, kissing his cheeks that were stained with tears, Leon could taste the saltiness of him and Hop shivered when Leon dragged his bottom lip up the side of his face, cleaning away the line of tears as he did so.

“I’m just…” Hop swallowed, Leon peppering the side of his face and jaw with smaller kisses. “I’m uncomfortable.”

“That’s okay, though. It’s just me, Hop. I’m not asking you to do anything to me.” When he moved to kiss Hop’s mouth, he turned to the side, Leon catching his jaw instead. He wished Hop would stop doing that so much when he wanted to taste him, but it didn’t stop Leon from grinding into him slowly as he kissed the side of his neck instead.

“I know that. I just don’t want to do this with _you_.”

Leon leaned away, still holding onto him in case Hop pulled back, but giving him a hard stare. “What’s wrong with it being with me?”

Hop looked up at him with bloodshot eyes. “You’re my brother.”

“So?”

“I don’t want to do things like this with my brother.”

“You’re just shy. It’s okay, Hop.” Everything Hop came at him with, Leon had a response to. He wasn’t going to let Hop talk him out of it this time, as he felt he had been patient as long as he could, but having Hop right here, right now, with the storm blowing over them outside, he wasn’t going to squander this opportunity to show his brother how he felt. If he had to hold him down kicking and screaming, he was determined to show Hop that he loved him.

“I’m not _shy_ , I’m uncomfortable! Why can’t you understand that?”

“Once you see that it’s not so bad, you’ll get used to it. Trust me, Hop. I was right about Gloria, wasn’t I?”

“Lee, that’s—” Hop’s voice cracked and cut off as Leon tried to kiss his mouth again, only to have Hop pull his face away yet again. “That’s not fair.”

“It wasn’t fair of you to run off and worry Mum to death like you did. You almost made her cry, Hop. Had me worried to death too. Do you even care that she’s concerned about you? You’re the one who doesn’t understand, Hop. You don’t understand the consequences of your actions and you don’t understand how much your family loves you and don’t want anything bad to happen to you.” He pulled Hop in closer, grinding against him when he did so and causing Hop to let out a choked gasp. “And you don’t understand how I feel about you. I’m going to show you. If you’ll sit here and let me work, I can show you how good it’ll feel.”

Hop tensed, finally turning back to give Leon a wide-eyed look. “L-Lee, don’t—”

“Don’t be scared. I promise if you let me prepare you, it won’t hurt.”

“ _Lee_.” Hop was shaking now, pulling against Leon the longer they sat there and he could hear the hysteria beginning to seep into Hop’s voice. “I don’t want to do this!” He pushed again, but Leon wrapped his arm around him, pulling him back until Hop was pushed against his chest.

“Just calm down, Hop.”

If Hop fought him, which Leon expected for him to start squirming and getting difficult, he had no qualms about being rough with him. This wasn’t like at home, where he had to walk on eggshells and stay quiet in case Mum heard. Hop had inadvertently trapped himself on an island where nobody was around, where Leon could be as loud, as rough as he wanted, and no matter how much Hop fought or yelled, he knew nobody was going to come bothering them this time.

“No! I don’t want to do this, Lee!” The more he struggled, the more Leon pulled him in, squeezing him, knowing he was probably smothering him, but he didn’t care. He could afford to let lose and draw out his real strength, and he knew if he _really_ wanted, he could fuck him and Hop wouldn’t be able to fight him off.

“Hop, just calm down, I haven’t even done anything to you yet.”

“Yes, you have!” With his palms pressed against Leon’s front, he pushed, but it did absolutely no good. “You keep touching me and I hate it! _I hate it_ , Lee! Let me go already!”

“Hop, the longer you fuss like this, the harder it’s going to get to be gentle with you.”

“LET GO OF ME!” Now he was shouting, but Leon didn’t dare let go of him. He squeezed even more, hearing the strangled sounds as Hop fought to breathe, but even that didn’t make him let up.

“Hop, just—”

“NO!” As Hop shouted, struggling in Leon’s death grip as he now had both arms wrapped around him, he felt him clawing at his back, one of his hands reaching up and nabbed a fistful of Leon’s long hair before yanking as hard as he could.

“Ow! Dammit, Hop, quit freaking out!”

“YOU’RE CRAZY! YOU’RE INSANE! I’M NOT HAVING SEX WITH YOU!”

The more he struggled, the harder it was getting for Leon to hold back. He had wanted to calm him down and ease him into it, but Hop was giving him no choice. With one forceful push, Leon used the full weight of his body to throw Hop down onto his blanket and on his back. He scrambled for a moment, trying to draw his legs up and kick, but Leon grabbed both of his wrists, pushed his weight back onto him, and held him down.

“GET OFF!”

“You’re going to calm down whether you want to or not.” As he pressed his body onto Hop’s, holding him down to the ground and smothering him, gripping both wrists and making it impossible for Hop to stand at all, Leon attempted yet again to kiss him, only to be met with the same result of Hop jerking his head to the side. This time, Leon let his tongue out, tasting the salt from Hop’s cheek and feeling the heat radiating off his face. Hop shivered underneath him, breathing heavy and strangled, but stiffening more and more.

“Stop! Stop it, Lee! I don’t _fucking want this!_ ”

“No.” It didn’t matter if Hop wanted it or not, Leon wasn’t stopping and didn’t plan to stop. As his brother wriggled and thrashed underneath him, he trailed his tongue from the side of his face to his neck, feeling Hop shiver the lower he went.

“You’re sick, y-you’re insane.” As he spoke, Hop’s voice became more and more breathy, almost a gasp as he struggled to push Leon off, but there was little he could do with his wrists held down, Leon not holding back when he knew he was digging his nails into Hop’s skin by holding him so tight.

“You’re going to see, Hop. When we do this, you’ll finally understand. You’ll see that I’m right and that I was always right.”

“I don’t _want_ to do this, Lee!”

He was getting angry and he hadn’t meant to, but Hop’s continuing lack of compliance was pissing him off the more he struggled. He had the nerve to scare him to death today, and after getting rejected, still had the nerve to think Leon was a liar. “Well, it’s going to happen whether you like it or not, Hop. You can lie here and struggle and I can guarantee you it’ll hurt, or you can lie back, calm down, and let me take my time so that it won’t hurt. Either way, it’s going to happen.”

At that, Hop let out a strangled gasp when Leon took a moment to grind into him, but he grew strangely silent, even stopping his struggles as he lie there. When he spoke, his voice was quiet, but shaken. “Y-you’re really…you’re really going to do it.” It was a statement, not a question, but Leon nodded.

“Hop, _listen_ to me for once, okay? I won’t hurt you. Not unless you give me a reason to.”

Hop shook underneath him, his entire body trembling, and Leon could see small tears dripping from the corners of his eyes. “L-Lee, please. Please, _please_ don’t do this to me. I-I’m scared.”

“Don’t be scared.” He took the moment that Hop was frozen underneath him, when he was sure he wouldn’t move, to lean back, removing some of his weight off him and releasing one of his wrists to grab his chin, turning his head so that Hop faced him. He looked up at Leon with horror in his eyes. “I love you, Hop.”

“D-don’t do this.”

“I promise it’ll feel good if you let me do what I have to do.”

“Lee.” His voice trembled, lip quivering, but whatever else he had to say, Leon quickly dipped down to kiss him on the mouth, muffling the rest of his sentence before he leaned back up, giving Hop the most sincere smile he could muster.

“It’s going to be okay.”

“It’s n-not okay.” More tears fell, ones that Leon reached up to wipe away with his thumb when Hop turned his gaze to the side where he wouldn’t have to look at him. “It’s not okay, Lee.”

Nothing Leon said was going to get through to him, and he knew that. With Hop shivering underneath him, he took the opportunity he was leaned up and pulled his coat off, tossing it to the side. Hop didn’t move below him, not even when Leon reached out, as gently as he could, to tug Hop’s shirt up, exposing his flat stomach. Leon never noticed how smooth his skin was and couldn’t help to lean down and kiss the dip right above his navel. Hop’s body trembled, but he seemed to be immobile, and didn’t move the entire time Leon licked and kissed his stomach, trailing up long enough to drag his tongue across his nipples. Still, Hop shivered, making little but audible gasping sounds, but he didn’t fight back the entire time Leon kissed him down there. Despite that, Leon could feel every single little tremor he made, and he dragged his bottom lip across Hop’s nipples, feeling them grow hard against his mouth before he leaned up, looking as Hop’s face was gushing red, stray tears still falling, but he remained stiff.

Leon smiled down at him, hoping he would at least sense the comfort and begin to calm down. “You’re doing good, Hop. See? It’s not scary. It feels good.”

Hop said nothing, not that he expected him to, but he was almost sure he heard the faint sound of his teeth chattering, and wasn’t sure if it was because Hop was cold with his shirt up like this, or if he was still afraid. Nonetheless, Leon leaned off just far enough he wasn’t holding his legs down anymore, and tugged at the waistband of Hop’s sweatpants. When he did, Hop finally made the first movement in a long while, turning his head to face him as Leon pulled the elastic back, pulling his pants down to his hips.

“Lee…” His voice was coated with fear to the point Leon practically felt it coming off him, but he continued working, slow and gentle as he could despite Hop’s continuous tremors. “L-Lee, if I—” He gasped when Leon gently dragged his nails over the sides of his stomach, down to his hips.

“If you what?”

“If I…d-do it for you, w-would you please…” He trailed off, but Leon stopped tugging his pants, having not even exposed Hop past his hips at this point.

“Out with it, Hop, what are you trying to say?”

“I want to…I want to do it.”

Leon blinked, not sure he understood. “I need more clarification than that.”

Hop made to lean up, but Leon quickly pressed his hand to his chest, ready to push him back down if he needed to. Hop froze when he did that, still shaking, but continued. “I-If I suck you off, will you leave it at that?” His face gushed red when he said that, but it took Leon aback for a moment, not sure he heard that right.

But, he repeated those words, mostly to himself. “Suck me off?”

Hop nodded. “I-I’ll do it, Lee. I promise I won’t bite, but just let me do that. Please.” The pleading was what got Leon, and he knew Hop was trying to compromise with him, bargain his way out of this, and as tantalizing as it was, as badly as he did in fact want Hop to suck him off, he knew Hop was only trying to get out of fucking him and he wasn’t about to let that happen.

“Tempting, but no. I already told you, I don’t want you doing anything to me. I’d much rather we come together anyway.”

Hop froze again and Leon could hear his teeth chatter as he fought to speak. “I want to though.”

“Thanks, but no.” Here he went again, trying to bargain with him, but Leon was done haggling, removing his gaze from Hop to focus on his waistband again. The moment he touched the side of his hips, Hop jumped underneath him.

“Please! Lee, please, I’ll do it, I promise I’ll do it! I’ll do it as long as you want me to, as many times as you want!” Now he was coming back to life more and more, growing more desperate, until Leon was afraid he was going to stand and run. As he felt Hop grow more restless below him, he reached out, pushing him down by his shoulder to hold him still, even though Hop’s eyes were wide with fear.

“Hop, stop trying to talk your way out of this. I already told you, it’s going to happen. Stop acting like I’m about to kill you or something.”

“Get off.” Hop’s voice was low again, his eyes wide, teeth chattering, and his breathing becoming more strangled and fast. “Get off of me.”

“Don’t start this again, Hop. I have no problem holding you down and getting rough, but that’s your call to make. I’m trying to be slow and gentle with you, but if you keep fighting me, I’m not going to hold back.”

“Get the _fuck off me!_ ” In that split moment Leon was leaned off of him, Hop drew his knees up and didn’t hesitate before kicking him square in the chest. Leon coughed, sputtering as he knocked the air out of him and he fell backward. Hop scrambled from underneath him, crawling on his hands and knees and making to crawl out of the tent.

Leon was on him in seconds. Though gasping, coughing and trying to catch his breath, he grabbed Hop by the back of his shirt just as he reached out to pull open the flap of the tent, and yanked. Hop gasped when his collar dug into his neck, but that second he was struggling to breathe, Leon took to grab both of his ankles and pull his legs out from under him. Hop fell onto his stomach, clawing at the ground as Leon pulled him back with ease, until Hop was underneath him again. He wasted absolutely no time before straddling him and sitting down on his legs to prevent him from trying to crawl away again.

“STOP! DON’T DO THIS TO ME! LEE, _PLEASE!_ ” The high-pitched squeal that Hop’s voice had reached sent shivers down Leon’s spine, but he was tired of playing games. He was sick of Hop fighting him and running away from him, and he felt no remorse when he pushed Hop’s face into the ground, holding the back of his head down as he gripped his pants, ripping the fabric when he yanked them down over his hips.

“Dammit, Hop! I warned you, _I fucking warned you!_ ” He was done. Leon was fucking done waiting and trying to be patient. All he had ever done was try to be calm and gentle with his brother, but he never wanted to play along. He never wanted to listen to him, even though Leon had been right about his stupid little girlfriend dumping him. Hop still refused to listen.

One final tug and Hop’s boxers were pulled down along with his pants, and Leon continued to hold him down with his weight, his full weight if needed. Hop struggled under him, trying to lift his head up, but Leon pushed every time he felt resistance, until Hop could only manage to fling his head to the side, gasping and coughing as he was held down.

Leon said nothing to him, wasted not a single second of sympathy for him as he dug two of his fingers inside of him, feeling Hop tremble underneath him, gasping as he scissored him. If he had just sat there and fucking listened to him, Leon wouldn’t be so rough. He wouldn’t be so desperate, and he wouldn’t be holding him down and using his full strength to _force_ Hop to comply with him.

Hop made an uncomfortable groan below him, but that only compelled Leon to shove another finger inside, stretching him even further, and Hop hissed through his teeth as he did so. With each movement he made, Hop trembled under him, his breathing heavy, but his struggles were slowly dying away again.

Leon pulled his fingers out of him long enough to grab his brother’s thigh and hoist him up, trying to get at a better angle so that he could reach him.

“Lee.” Hop’s voice was partially muffled from being held down into the floor like he was, but Leon could still hear the fear bubbling out of his throat. “I-I’m begging you, don’t do it.”

He said nothing to him, only continued once he had one of Hop’s knees propped up enough to give him better access, and he shoved three fingers back inside of him, gaining another hiss from Hop as he scissored him. He wouldn’t be this rough if Hop just— Leon bit his bottom lip, trying not to let his anger overtake him, or else he really would end up hurting Hop. It just—he couldn’t even bring himself to say anything comforting to him anymore, because he knew it wouldn’t matter. And fuck, if his erection wasn’t aching right now to just hurry up and go inside of him, it was getting harder for Leon to control himself.

He could already feel precum staining the inside of his pants the longer he sat there scissoring Hop, and when he finally pulled out, his fingers warm and moist, to grip hold of his own pants and unzip them, allowing his erection to breathe, he heard Hop gasp underneath him.

“Lee…” He sounded on the verge of crying again. “Please.”

But, Leon had no more sympathy left to give his brother. Without a word to him, without a warning or any kind of comforting words he knew might have made things a little better, he gripped hold of Hop’s thighs before slowly pushing into him. The feeling on his end was akin to instant relief and Leon shuddered, feeling his brother’s heat surround him and he almost came too quickly, but he caught himself, finally removing his hand from the back of Hop’s head and allowing him a bit more room to move.

The gasp that his brother choked out only made Leon want to orgasm that much more, but he couldn’t come so quickly if he hoped to have Hop right there with him. Taking a moment for both him and Hop to get used to the feeling, he slowly pulled out, but not completely. Enough to take both hands and wrap his arms around Hop’s thighs to pull him up onto his knees, allowing Leon a less awkward angle to work with.

The second time he pushed back in, Hop shuddered below him, still gasping in gulps of air, but remaining frozen for the most part. It was at least easier for Leon to focus on holding him up this time rather than pushing him down to keep him from running away. As he slowly pulled out, and back in, Hop trembling under him, but not making much of a sound, Leon began to create a rhythm of pulling out and pushing in, slow enough that he was sure it wouldn’t hurt his brother, but let him grow used to him.

Eventually, Hop, who had been reaching with both arms as if trying to claw away before, now had his arms by his side, and Leon could see him trying to prop himself up on his elbows as the position he had him in was no doubt straining his back, but Leon wasn’t sure if he should allow him the courtesy of getting comfortable or not.

Well, he had gotten him to stop fighting, or doing much of anything now. He was sure Hop wouldn’t up and run off on him anymore, so he stopped thrusting for a moment.

“Get yourself comfortable if you need to.” He said so matter of factly, not bothering trying to be nice anymore, but he waited patiently while his cock rested inside of Hop for him to drag himself up.

Shakily, Hop pushed himself up as he placed both palms on the ground and slowly drew the rest of his body up where his chest was no longer flattened against the floor. It was almost as if he were afraid any sudden movements would cause something to break, but when he finally straightened up on all fours, breathing heavy and shaky, Leon gripped hold of his thigh and gave a squeeze.

“You better?”

A slow nod from Hop, but that was all Leon needed before he picked up his rhythm again. Stopping like that only made the intensity come back that much more as he pushed in and out, the only movements from Hop being the occasional shiver.

Without having to worry about being quiet, as even with the thunder and rain rumbling overhead them, Leon wasn’t shy about holding back his moans. Each time he thrusted into Hop, it made him shiver with anticipation and he never imagined finally being inside of him like this to feel so good. He was losing himself the longer he thrust back and forth, wishing Hop would move with him. But, no matter what he did, Hop remained stoic, the only sounds from him being his quick breathing and gulps of air every time Leon thrust into him.

“Y-you can, _nnm_ , Hop, you c-can move with me.” He was trying his best to coax Hop into engaging with him, even in this position he had them in, Hop was doing all he could to avoid participating.

“I don’t want to.”

“Fine.” His response was curt, but Leon was too close to coming to feel any annoyance right now. In some form of effort to get Hop to at least make some kind of movement, Leon released one of his thighs and leaned over until he was brushing his chest against Hop’s back before he reached around and grabbed hold of his brother’s cock. To his surprise, Hop was already hard, and he let out a laugh through his nose when he felt the precum seeping from the tip.

“Enjoying yourself?”

Hop said nothing, but shuddered underneath him when Leon pumped him in time with his thrusts.

“L-Lee, don’t—I-I don’t want to come.”

“So you say, but you seem pretty eager to me.” He couldn’t help but tease him as he felt Hop’s cock twitch in his hand and it only made him laugh. No matter what biting comments came from Hop’s mouth, his body was enjoying this way too much and he knew, even without seeing his face, that Hop was beet red and probably embarrassed he was getting off this much. Leon knew he would love it, he knew without a doubt Hop would love this. This is what he’d been trying to tell him this whole time, but Hop refused to listen.

“You don’t have to be so shy, Hop. It’s just us here.” Again, Leon laughed through his nose, a moan seeping out through his gritted teeth when he thrust back into Hop, rocking him back and forth as he moved. With his hand reached around Hop’s front to pump him, he could hear his brother’s breathing begin to quicken as he stroked him, taking the precum from the tip and allowing it to coat his hands as he went.

Hop could deny it all he wanted, but Leon heard his moans, the moans he was trying to keep quiet, and he leaned over as far as he could until Hop’s back was pressed to his chest as he said, “Don’t hold it in. I want to hear you.”

When he said that, he heard Hop make a strangled moan and he finally moved, rocking in time with Leon’s thrusts. The thunder overhead was slowing off into a quiet rumble, and Leon could even hear the rain lighten up somewhat, the sounds of their heavy breathing and moans being the loudest thing inside of the tent right now. As Leon leaned back to focus solely on pumping Hop and thrusting, he suddenly felt Hop spasm underneath him and cum sprayed out onto his hands as he pumped him dry for all he had.

The feeling of Hop’s cum in his hands only made Leon grip and pull his thighs into him even harder as he thrusted into Hop all the way to the hilt of his cock, and the sound of Hop’s strangled and choked moan below him made him finally let lose. Leon didn’t hold back when he came, grabbing and digging his nails into Hop’s thighs, not meaning to, but so lost in his orgasm that he just needed something to hold onto, even as Hop yelped below him, he squeezed, allowing it to take hold of his entire body as he shuddered and moaned.

Breathing heavy, Leon finally stopped moving when the high of orgasm left him, taking a moment to just breathe as he sat inside of Hop who didn’t move at all below him. For a moment, the both of them stayed unmoving like that, just breathing as the storm from outside slowly became only steady rainfall, tapping over the roof of the tent.

When Leon pulled out, he watched as some of his cum dripped from Hop’s bottom and he felt a little bad he had made such a mess, but also so happy that Hop also made a mess. It was all over his hand, the evidence of Hop’s orgasm, and there was no denying it. Nothing Hop could say would convince Leon he hadn’t liked that.

“Did…” Leon gently crawled out from behind Hop, sitting down on his bottom as Hop finally moved to pull his pants back up, despite Leon’s cum and his own cum staining his boxers now. Leon sucked in air as he was still in the haze of orgasm. “Did you like it, Hop? Was it good?”

Hop’s face flushed red as he turned, still on shaky hands and knees as though trying to avoid sitting on his bottom after pulling his pants up, but he didn’t look at Leon. “No.”

Leon rolled his eyes. “Liar. What do you call this, then?” He held up his hand, sticky with Hop’s cum, but still, Hop refused to look at him. He smiled, knowing Hop had no answer to that, because he knew the truth.

“Are you done now?” For Hop to be so spry one moment, kicking and screaming, fighting Leon like he had to being reduced to this, it was almost unsettling how his moods could switch so easily. He didn’t sound angry or upset, but rather like he wasn’t really there at all. Only asking questions for the sake of making noise, and not for the sake of an answer.

Leon shrugged. “Yes, I guess?”

“Okay.” With that, Hop turned and slowly crawled out of the tent. Leon didn’t bother to stop him, as he suspected Hop wasn’t going to run away. Or maybe he would, but he sat there, breathing heavy and absolutely spent from all the excitement from today. He took a moment to fix himself back into his pants, zipping himself back up and almost dozed off where he sat, but the sound of Hop retching just outside the tent roused him out of his groggy state and he too flipped open the flap of the tent to see his brother next to the only tree on the island, bent over and vomiting.

“Hop, are you okay?” He stood straight as he crawled out of the tent, making his way over to his brother who was dry heaving. Leon suspected he still hadn’t had much to eat, but one look at the contents on the ground told him he had at least been drinking water.

As he drew closer, he pat Hop on the back who continued retching, expelling everything until there was nothing left and he only dry heaved. Leon rubbed soothing circles onto his back, trying to calm him down as Hop shivered, either from the cold and the rain, or Leon’s touch, he didn’t know, but the moment Hop stopped retching and stood up straight, Leon gripped him by the arm and pulled him back into the tent.

They really needed to clean themselves off, but just as Leon was about to grab some towels from his bag, he turned to give Hop another worried look as he finally sat on his knees right behind Leon. “Are you okay?” he asked again.

Hop nodded. “Fine. Tired.”

“Me too.”

Grabbing some cleaning supplies from his bag, Leon washed his hands off, giving a towel to Hop in case he wanted to rinse off too, but he only held onto it with a weak grip, never looking up at Leon or moving much at all.

“Do you need help?” Leon asked.

A small nod from Hop, but that was all Leon needed as he took hold of the towel, wiping the stains of cum off his clothes as much as he could. Hop might need more cleaning up tomorrow, as Leon suspected he would still be trying to get rid of his cum by then, but that was a problem for later. After he cleaned his brother’s clothes the best he could, Leon took a warm wash cloth and wiped the tear stains off Hop’s face, feeling rather silly he was treating Hop like a child, but also kind of enjoying having Hop sit here for him and allow him to clean him up. It made that warmth spill into his chest all over again as he gently dabbed at Hop’s face.

He took a risk doing this, but once Leon was done cleaning Hop, he gave him a small smile before wrapping his arms around his brother and pulling him close until he was almost in his lap. “I love you. I love you so much, Hop.”

He hoped that through this type of contact that Hop would understand, finally, _finally understand_ his feelings. And to his surprise, he felt the weak grip of Hop come up, returning the hug, though slow and rather reluctant, he could feel his fingers gripping hold of the back of his shirt as Hop wrapped his arms around him as well. Leon’s chest swelled and he allowed himself to inhale the scent of Hop, that sweet scent as he pulled him in closer and Hop allowed him to.

And then, he could hear Hop’s voice, though small and rather empty, right next to Leon’s ear. “I…l-love you too, Lee.”

Smiling, Leon continued to hold onto his brother, rocking him back and forth even as the rain continued to pelt the top of the tent overhead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Psst i finally have a twitter, though i mostly lurk, but if you’re interested 
> 
> My twitter is @leonloveshop
> 
> Hope you all are having a wonderful day or night and I’ll see you guys next chapter! :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter. I never know what a good length for these things are, as sometimes i go all out and feel like they’re too long, but?? I guess it really just depends on what is actually happening. (Shrugs)
> 
> THANK YOU GUYS AGAIN FOR YOUR AMAZING SUPPORT you don’t know how happy it makes me seeing ppl enjoy this fic ;-; i really appreciate all of you!! Thank you so much

The warmth that surrounded him was the most tangible thing in that moment as Leon slowly drew from sleep. A gentle, rhythmic tapping came from right above, a sign the rain hadn’t let up completely as the quiet sprinkling hit the roof of the tent. Shifting just slightly, he breathed in through his nose, inhaling the scent of Hop’s hair right below him and allowing himself a moment to indulge in that scent. No matter what, Hop always carried the scent of sugar on him. Maybe not even that, but something sweet, and it drove Leon wild every time he caught the scent of it.

With the gentle rain tapping the tent, and the warmth of Hop’s body pressed right against him, Leon was in heaven. Even despite the cold air around him, as the tent wasn’t the most insulated of things, Leon felt warm holding onto his brother underneath the covers.

He couldn’t remember what time it was when they fell asleep like this. One moment he was rocking him in his arms, and the next he was tucking him under the covers, pulling out his phone to call Mum and let her know he found him and they were both safe. Needless to say, Mum wasn’t the happiest when he told her he’d found Hop out camping and he kind of hated that she was going to no doubt give him an earful when they got home, but another part of him felt like maybe if Mum tore into Hop about this, he wouldn’t do something so stupid again.

But, those moments when Leon had been upset, or angry at his brother for running away, or even continuing to refuse to listen to him didn’t matter right now. As he lay there, contemplating whether or not he wanted to go back to sleep, he inhaled Hop’s scent one more time and decided he wanted to stay here as long as possible. After all, it was Sunday, and that meant he had to leave back to Wyndon before the day was done.

He really didn’t want to. Not without Hop.

His arm that lay draped over Hop’s stomach as he breathed in deeply, Leon feeling every single breath he took, only made it that much harder for him to make that call. Honestly, if he wanted to, really, _really_ wanted to, he could get away with staying home for another week. But then there would be questions and he doubted telling Raihan and everyone he wanted to spend more time with his brother would go over that well. Wasn’t one week enough? Why did he want to spend so much time away from the Battle Tower like he did? They might even accuse him of slacking on the job, and maybe the former champion wasn’t up for something like that.

As much as he didn’t want to leave Hop, he didn’t want to risk losing anymore of his notoriety than he already had. Being ex-Champion was one thing, but being exiled from the Battle Tower really would put him down the bottom of the rung. So, the only other thing he could do was talk Hop into moving in with him. There would be no questions or suspicions if his brother moved in of his own free will.

But.

Leon suspected he still wasn’t up to the idea even if Mum was. Not even after what happened last night—Leon gave his brother a gentle squeeze as he thought back to it.

He never intended to get that rough with him, hold his brother down, and force him into it. Leon could still hear the sounds he made, the begging, the pleading, but most importantly, the way he got into it by the end. All it took was a little push and Leon had Hop rocking into him. And damn he could deny it all he wanted, Leon _knew_ he loved it. He knew. Maybe Hop was just shy and embarrassed to admit his brother got him off, but Leon knew the truth no matter how much Hop would deny it.

Even after it was all over and they cleaned up, Leon rocking his brother back and forth in his arms before he tucked him into bed, soon joining him under the covers and clinging to him when Hop began to shiver, possibly from the cold, Leon didn’t hesitate to curl up to him, wrap his arms around him, and pull him close. Every tremble he made, every breath he uttered, Leon felt and heard it all. Hop didn’t push him away, as he knew it was because Leon was so warm, but Leon wanted to think it was because now that he’d shown him his love, this meant Hop was accepting him, if even just a little at a time.

He would take a little progress, though. It didn’t matter how long it took. It was better than nothing.

They fell asleep that way, curled up together, and Leon had never felt happier sleeping next to Hop, tucked under a flimsy blanket in a cold tent while a thunderstorm blew over them outside, but as long as he was with Hop, nothing else mattered. Even in his arms like this, Leon could feel how incredibly small he was. Not in a physical sense so to speak, but just the way he held himself.

Hop was fragile. Emotionally and physically, though he would never admit it. Leon had never seen his brother break down crying like he had last night, and it made him realize just how sensitive he really was. It should have made him feel terrible he came on as strong as he did, as he wanted Hop to accept his feelings of love in return and ease him into this sort of thing, but nothing Leon planned ever panned out the way he wanted.

All he wanted was for Hop to love him as much as he did. In his arms, Leon’s muscular arms, he could feel Hop’s elbows poking into his chest, he could feel the curvature of his body, angular in places Leon was not, and he couldn’t help but notice how incredibly perfectly Hop fit into his arms like this. Truly, he was every bit of what Leon was not: younger, skinnier, lankier, more prone to emotional outbursts.

But, Leon loved all those things about him, even the bad things. Even when Hop rejected him and refused to listen, he loved him. He loved him because Leon knew eventually Hop would understand. Maybe it would take time, but he would keep pushing until the day Hop returned those feelings. It wouldn’t be like anything they had before, but Leon didn’t mind that.

Their relationship, as much as it pained Leon to admit, was over, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t build a new one. An intimate one. One built on not just trust, but love, and maybe a little lust. Hop would begin to see things his way soon. After getting rejected like he had, Leon knew his brother would begin to break down, and after last night, well—

He inhaled the sweet scent again.

It had already happened. Leon made love to his brother, something only he was allowed to do, something he had to force on him to make him understand, but he knew this was only the beginning. After all, he loved Hop, he loved him very much, and the last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt him. Sometimes he might need a little push in the right direction, but Leon was going to be there with him to help steer him the right way. Ironic, considering Hop had been the one always helping Leon find his way, but…

Hop shifted in his sleep, making a small sleepy groan and Leon only pulled him in closer, as close as he could go. He wanted to feel his entire body up against his, feel every breath he took, hear every little snore he made when he got too comfortable. Leon loved everything about him, and it was sad how it took till now for him to realize just how wonderful Hop really was. How wonderful he had been to him all these _years_. Leon was a fool to go this long without realizing what he had, how he had taken Hop for granted, taken his admirations toward him for granted, all those times Hop had smiled at him, embraced him, called his name—

Only when those things stopped did Leon even realize they existed in the first place. What a horrible brother he was to take the things Hop did for him for granted, even if it was something as simple as giving him a brighter than the sun smile. Pulling Hop as close as he could possibly pull him without squeezing the air from him, Leon clung to him, clung to him as if the very air in his lungs would give out if he let go. And _fuck_ , did Hop make him irrational. Even lying here like this, clinging to him, inhaling his scent over and over, engulfing himself in the warmth and the sounds of the rain, Leon didn’t want to move.

He didn’t want to wake him. Leon wanted this to last forever, to have Hop stay in his arms like this forever, perfectly placed with his back up against him where Leon could feel _every. Little. Movement_. He made.

Eventually, Leon did drift back off to sleep, high on the scent and feeling of his brother, but so at peace that he couldn’t help but get comfortable again. Only when Hop began to stir did Leon slowly come to, realizing the warmth had left his arms and Hop had dragged himself out from under the blanket. By the time Leon was leaned up, wiping newfound sleep from his eyes and fighting the grogginess, Hop had crawled out of the tent.

“Hop?” he called, still fighting the sleep and coming to. No response, not that he really expected one. Just a bunch of shuffling and splashes of water supplied itself as his answer and Leon took the time that Hop was off doing his own thing to pull out some cleaning supplies from his bag. Nothing extravagant, but just a washcloth to wipe his face with and a brush to untangle his long hair. He really should think about cutting it—well, maybe nothing _that_ extreme, but he was due for a trim any day now.

Once he’d tidied himself up, Leon grabbed his coat before flinging it on and pulling the flap open to see Hop sitting by the lone tree. He didn’t look up as Leon approached, but seemed focused on playing with a pile of grass at his feet. He sat with his knees pulled up to his chin, one arm wrapped around himself as he absentmindedly tore at the grass by his shoes.

“Good morning.” Leon spoke soft, as soft as he could muster, but Hop spared him no reaction. He wasn’t even sure if it was even morning anymore, but the rising sun peeking from above the clouds gave him a good enough impression it was creeping closer to noon than anything.

Letting out a sigh, Leon scooted himself closer to Hop who hadn’t even so much as flinched when he approached and ended up leaning on the tree, looking over Hop’s shoulder as he tore up more pieces of grass.

“Where’s your coat?” It took him way too long to notice, but Hop had come outside with nothing but his sweatpants and a thin long sleeved shirt on. Certainly not enough to hold back the biting chill in the air.

Hop shrugged, still not looking at him. “Not cold.” Leon felt a small sliver of guilt sink into his gut when he could hear how absolutely tired Hop’s voice sounded. Not even tired, but. Empty. Void of emotion, and even the simple reply seemed as though it took all of his energy to say those words.

“Nice try. I can see you shivering.” Letting out a sigh, Leon pulled his coat off before handing it down to his brother. It couldn’t be helped. “Take it.”

“Don’t want it.” Hop didn’t even muster a move when Leon held his outstretched arm toward him, trying to dangle the coat in front of his face.

“I don’t care if you don’t want it. It’s just about freezing out here.”

Even from where he sat, still refusing to look up at him, refusing to stop tearing off blades of grass from the ground, and never moving an inch, Leon could hear Hop speak through gritted teeth. “I don’t _want your stupid coat_.”

Leon frowned. Here they went again, Hop was going to start off the day giving him lip and arguing with him and Leon was going to wind up getting annoyed. Even after everything that happened last night, Hop had this much attitude? Just why was he acting this way? Didn’t Leon show him enough times that he loved him? Or was this about something else?

Instead of responding, Leon pulled his coat open before tossing it down on his brother so that it flew over his head, causing Hop to finally break out of his trance when he reached up to pull it off, throwing it down on the ground. Well, it seemed the only way Leon was going to get him to react at all was to force him to.

“Stop it,” Hop hissed. Still, he refused to look at him, but Leon was in no mood for games.

“What’s the matter? Wake up on the wrong side of the bed?” In his rather sour dip in mood, Leon knew he was condescending when he spoke, but he was starting to care less and less. If Hop wanted to get into another argument, then so be it. Leon was tired of fighting with him, but if Hop insisted— _well_. He would just have to give him what he wanted then.

“You know _damn well_ what’s the matter.”

“Afraid I don’t, Hop. Care to enlighten me?” Saying this, Leon bent down until he was squatted in front of Hop, lifting his coat off the ground and folding it into his lap as he waited for Hop to say something, anything.

At first he thought Hop wouldn’t say anything at all, as the longer they sat there, the more red he could see Hop’s face getting, but after what felt like hours of silence, his brother finally opened his mouth. “Aren’t you done? Haven’t you already got what you wanted now?”

Leon blinked. What in the world was he going on about? “Got what I wanted?”

Squeezing another handful of grass in his hands, Hop’s lips thinned and he held his head so low it was practically in his knees now. “Yeah. You got your cheap fuck, so leave me alone.”

 _Cheap_ … Cheap?

“Hop, you don’t…” Leon leaned down to him, wishing his brother would stop looking away from him and just _face him_ already. “You don’t think I did that for some kind of thrill of the moment thing, do you?”

A shrug. “Why not. Not like you ever did anything like this before.” Then, Hop made a laugh, a hollow, joyless laugh that sent shivers down Leon’s spine. “Before you went crazy, I mean.”

“I’m not crazy.” Leon’s heart pounded until it was the only sound in his ears. “Hop, I’m not— I— _dammit, Hop_ , how many times do I have to tell you that I love you before you believe me?” Now he was leaned forward on his hands and knees, desperate, wishing his brother would quit holding himself so tight and drawing into himself every time he got close to him.

“If you really loved me, you wouldn’t have done something like that.”

“I did that to you _because_ I love you.”

Finally, out of Leon’s entirety outside with him, Hop slowly drew his face up, and he could see his eyes, his lifeless dull eyes that held absolutely no flicker of light in them as they stared up at Leon. “I don’t understand.” The biting tone that threatened to spill out before was gone, and Hop now sounded like he was merely making noise again. No tone. No inflection. No signs that he was engaged in a conversation, but simply making noise. “Why… why you…” His eyes drifted downward before he could finish, and Leon was on him in seconds.

Scooping up his brother, Leon pulled him into his arms in a tight hug. To his surprise, Hop didn’t fight back, but he didn’t hug him either. Leon took advantage of the opportunity that Hop was lax to pull him up and sit him in his lap, pulling him close so that Hop’s head rested right on his chest.

“Hop, I don’t like being rough with you. I just—I just wish you would _listen_ to me when I tell you things. It’s not my intention to hurt you. When I tell you that I love you, I mean it. You aren’t a cheap thrill, you aren’t a passing fling. Stop thinking of yourself as something to be disposed of.”

As Leon held his brother tight, he could feel him shaking in his arms, and took the moment Hop was being still like this to finally grab hold of his coat and drape it around him. When he leaned back, he couldn’t help but smile at him, all wrapped up in his lap like this. Leon’s coat was so big on him it looked like a blanket, but Hop didn’t push it away this time. Not looking at Leon, he sat there, shoulders bunched up and hands wringing in and out, but he didn’t attempt to stand and run away or even push at Leon when he reached up to run his fingers through his hair.

“I love you. Hop, I’ll say it a thousand times, a thousand more if that’s what it takes for you to believe me.” Biting his lip, it took a bit of Leon’s pride to say this, but he felt the need when he’d gotten his brother to sit still for a moment. “I’m sorry for being so rough on you last night. I won’t ever do that again.”

Hop trembled, but looked up at him with a knitted brow, eyes wide, biting his bottom lip as Leon continued to hold onto him. “You’ve…” Hop swallowed. “You’ve told me that before.”

The back of Leon’s neck prickled with sweat as he held onto him, and could have sworn he could remember hearing himself say that he would never touch Hop without his permission. But… Leon swallowed, knowing he had broken his promise to him, and probably trashed his trust in his brother forever, but he sucked in a breath before nodding. “I know. I know that. I just—you just need to listen to me, okay? I don’t like to argue with you, I don’t like it when you start mouthing off.”

Hop stiffened in his hold, still staring up at him, but said nothing.

Leon let out a sigh again before tousling his brother’s hair in a gesture to try and lighten the mood a bit. It didn’t do much good, but the loud growling coming from Hop’s stomach made him let out a laugh. “Assuming you haven’t been eating still?”

Hop’s face flushed at the accusation, but he didn’t reply.

Leon shrugged, pulling Hop up and out of his lap to set him on the ground before he stood up, stretching and cracking his back. “Let’s go get something to eat. I’m pretty famished myself.” Now that he thought about it, Leon didn’t remember eating anything yesterday. After all, he’d been running around for hours and hours searching for Hop that he didn’t even think to stop and eat anything.

“Not hungry.” Hop’s low voice made him frown, but Leon just rolled his eyes.

“Don’t start with that again, Hop. You’ve barely eaten all week. Of course you’re starving. Come on.” He bent slightly and held out his hand to Hop, offering to help him stand, but Hop didn’t even acknowledge him as he climbed to his feet, Leon’s coat still draped around his shoulders.

“Shouldn’t you be getting back to Wyndon or something?”

“We’ll talk about that later. It’s time for food. Come on, help me pack up your tent.” As he spoke, Leon crawled into the tent before dragging their bags, blankets, pillows, and everything else he could find on the floor outside. Much to his surprise, Hop, though moving a little slow for his tastes, began to fold his blankets and pack them in his bag as Leon tore the tent down.

It took a little longer than Leon would have liked, as Hop wasn’t the most energetic as he helped, but soon, the sun was high and their bags were packed. As Leon held out the pokeball that housed Charizard, he turned to give Hop a smile who stood rather slumped over, eyes cast down and looking so spaced out in that moment that Leon couldn’t help himself.

Dipping down, in one quick motion, he gave Hop a peck on the lips, causing him to stir and jump back, face red and brows pinched as he furiously began to rub at his mouth. “Quit it.”

Leon laughed. “Sorry. You’re just so adorable I can’t help myself sometimes.”

Hop’s cheeks only flushed even more red as Leon let out Charizard who stretched his wings and gave Leon a rather pissy stare from allowing him to get wet the night before. Leon gave him a pat before hoisting himself onto his back and held out his hand for Hop to take, but he continued to stare down at the ground, shuffling his feet.

“Come on, Hop.” He waved his hand back in a _come here_ motion, which Hop didn’t see as he was still staring at the ground.

“I can walk home.”

“We’re not going home. I’m taking you to Motostoke to get breakfast, remember?”

He could see Hop’s hands balling into fists before he dug his heels into the ground. “I told you I’m _not_ hungry.”

“ _Hop_.” Now Leon’s patience had just about run out, and he didn’t want to start off another argument, as it seemed anytime he tried to be kind and gentle with his brother, Hop took advantage to try and bite back at him. It was grating his nerves and the last thing Leon wanted to do was get into another fight with Hop until things escalated like they did last night, but he was tired of Hop acting this way. “I’ll drag you there kicking and screaming if I have to. You need to _eat_.”

“I don’t _fucking want to eat_.”

Without hesitating, Leon jumped off Charizard’s back, grabbed his brother by his sleeve and the moment that Hop flinched and looked up at him, Leon had him nabbed by both arms until he was pulled into his face. “I’m tired of playing games with you, Hop. You’re coming with me to Motostoke and you’re going to eat something whether you like it or not. If you want to throw a tantrum, then go right ahead. I’ll drag you to town and then you can see how everyone is going to react when I hold your hand and kiss you in public. Hell, I might even take you into a public bathroom and suck you off since you seem to love it so much. Maybe someone will walk in, but that’ll be on you.”

The color almost completely drained from Hop’s face, but even Leon could see the beads of sweat forming as he stared up at him, eyes wide and lip trembling. “I-I didn’t like—”

“Don’t you _dare_ lie to me. We both know _damn well_ you loved it. Stop saying you didn’t when you so clearly did. Or—” Leon released one of his arms to reach down and pressed his palm against Hop’s crotch, causing him to jump back. “Do you want me to prove it to you again right now? I don’t mind, Hop. I’ll prove it to you all day long if I have to. I’ll have you moaning for it and calling my name, begging me for more—”

“Fine, I’ll go with you.” Hop had fallen stiff again, having flinched away from Leon, but stared up at him like a cornered animal. The way he cut Leon off seemed more like an excuse to shut him up rather than an actual agreement to go eat.

Instead of calling him out on it, Leon released him, letting out a huff before climbing back on Charizard and once again outstretching his hand for Hop to take. Reluctantly, Hop gripped onto his hand before Leon hoisted him up, Hop falling into his lap rather unceremoniously, causing Leon to laugh as he struggled to right himself.

“Don’t worry.” He wrapped an arm around Hop’s middle, causing him to stiffen again as he no doubt felt Leon’s bulge digging into him. It wasn’t his intention to get hard, but he was going to have to be careful, especially with Hop being, well—shoved against him like this. Not the most elegant of things if the former champion were to arrive in Motostoke with a boner, but Leon swallowed as he tightened his grip on Hop. “I’ve got you. Might want to hold on.”

Hop remained frozen as if more in defiance than anything, but the second Charizard spread his wings and rocketed into the air, Hop moved faster than Leon had seen him all day and gripped hold of his arm, causing Leon to let out a laugh as his brother desperately clung to him. He may have done that on purpose just so that Hop would touch him, but he would never admit it. Still, the wide grin on his face didn’t fade as they rose into the sky, the chilled air much more breathable up here than on the ground.

Hop shook in his hold, even as he dug his nails into Leon’s arm to keep a firm grip on him, Leon didn’t mind one bit. With his arm wrapped around Hop’s stomach, keeping him in place as he held on for dear life, Leon bent over just slightly enough that he could kiss the side of his neck, gaining a violent shiver from Hop. “Don’t be scared. I won’t let go.”

As Charizard took off toward Motostoke, Leon holding onto his brother as he held him back, he couldn’t help to smile. Being close to Hop like this made him happy. Even happier than he ever remembered being. And the fact he had made love to him only intensified that feeling even more until he pressed his face into Hop’s hair, inhaling his scent and— _fuck, did he feel alive_. Leon never felt this good before, never felt such a warmth in his chest, a flutter of butterflies in his stomach, and it was all because of Hop.

Hop made him feel alive, feel _loved_ , worth more than his stupid title ever made him feel. Even these moments, these simple little moments where he was simply touching him, it made Leon feel so content and he couldn’t help but laugh through his nose as he gave Hop one final small kiss on top of his head.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, but i hope the quick uploads make up for it. Now that i think about it, this chapter and last chapter could have been one, but (shrugs) OH WELL

The streets of Motostoke were packed as lunchtime drew closer. After Charizard touched down onto the asphalt, Leon pulled himself off his back, holding up his hand for Hop to take, which he did, albeit rather reluctantly. As he gripped his brother’s hand, Hop jumping down and stumbling for a moment as he righted himself up, Leon let out a laugh when Hop retracted his hand back as if he’d touched a hot stove.

“Careful,” Leon said, calling Charizard back into his pokeball as the two of them stood on the street, gaining the attention of a passerby or two. Hop dug his hands into his pockets, head held low and Leon could see the blush coming to his face, either from being stared at by the onlookers or what, he wasn’t sure. Leon couldn’t help but smile at him, seeing his brother still wrapped up in his coat like this, and it was so big on him it was almost dragging the ground, but Hop made no move to take it off. Maybe he really was cold, but Leon didn’t mind. Seeing Hop wear his clothes gave him butterflies, and he had half a mind to take him home where he could put a few of his T-shirts on him, knowing they would swallow him, but the image of Hop wearing something so big on him that it exposed his shoulders and part of his chest made Leon hotter than he would’ve liked to admit. He didn’t need his coat with thoughts like these running through his mind.

Still, he couldn’t afford to get carried away like this, especially in public. Getting Hop to agree to come with him was like pulling teeth in the first place, but if he started getting too touchy feely with him, he knew Hop would begin to protest again and the last thing Leon wanted was to start a fight in the middle of the street. Letting out a sigh, he strode past Hop as he eyed a nearby corner store bakery and even from where he stood, could smell the scent of coffee which only stimulated his appetite all the more.

“Come on, I’m starving.” Leon took off toward the bakery, having walked a few steps before realizing Hop wasn’t following him. Turning back, he saw his brother, hands still in his pockets, staring down at his shoes with that spaced out look on his face again. “Hop?” Leon drew back, coming up beside him before he pat him on the shoulder.

Hop flinched, but made no other movement.

“Let’s go.”

At first, Hop made no movement and Leon frowned at the idea that Hop was going out of his way to be difficult like this, but knowing this, Leon slid his arm around Hop’s, hooking them together for a moment and it was like watching something snap in his brother when he jumped so far back, it was almost comical, his face red as he stared up at Leon and drew his arms into himself so that Leon couldn’t do that again.

“D-don’t do that, I’m coming.” Face on fire and shoulders bunched up until it looked like Hop was trying to hide himself in Leon’s coat, he slowly walked by Leon’s side as they made their way to the bakery.

“Just making sure you’re still there. Not like you to space out so much.” Leon shrugged, holding open the door for his brother as they came upon the bakery. The wafting smell of bread, coffee, and other assortment of pastries was so strong that Leon’s stomach growled and he could have sworn he heard Hop’s stomach growling in anticipation as well. It had been too long since his brother had eaten a proper meal and Leon was prepared to shovel as much food down his gullet as possible if it killed him.

The warm air hit them like a punch in the face and the moment Leon closed the door behind them, could see Hop shifting in his position as he pulled Leon’s coat off him. He took a moment to take it from him and drape it over his arm before noticing how Hop wasn’t looking at the food at all, but still staring down at the ground.

“See anything you like?” Leon almost rolled his eyes in annoyance when Hop shook his head, not even bothering to actually _look_ at anything. “Come on, I’ll buy you whatever you want, even if it’s doughnuts or something, get something you like.”

“I told you, I’m not hungry.”

Instead of responding, Leon pulled Hop to the side by nabbing his shirt, but making sure he did so gently enough not to cause the girl behind the counter to stare at him, but he was trying so hard not to let his anger come out. Hop was making this way more difficult than it needed to be. Even after all this time, after all the arguments they’d had in the past, Hop was still biting back at him. Leon only took that moment he pulled him close to bend down to his ear, sure that nobody in the shop could hear him, and whispered in his brother’s ear.

“Don’t forget what I told you this morning. There’s a bathroom right over there.” He flicked his eyes to the side, sure that Hop could see it too, and with his hand on Hop’s shoulder, gripping just slightly enough at his shirt to pull but not obvious enough it was noticeable, he felt Hop shiver below him and could see beads of sweat form at the base of his neck.

Had anyone else been looking at them, it would appear that Leon and his brother were just having a private conversation as they struggled to decide what to eat, but Leon was the only one aware of his brother’s mild shivers and short intakes of breath. Finally, after a short bout of silence, Hop finally opened his mouth. “G-get me a scone then.”

“How about two scones?” One wasn’t enough, not for Hop who had barely eaten the past week. It was worrying Leon how little he’d seen his brother eat since—well, since this whole thing started. “You want coffee or milk?”

Hop tensed. “Milk…”

Satisfied, Leon leaned away from him, approaching the counter and pulling out some money to pay the girl as he placed an order for food. Hop continued to stare at the floor, long after Leon grabbed the food for them, the lady handing him their coffee and Hop’s milk as they made their way to a table off in the corner, mostly away from the few people that were seated and eating. It probably wasn’t the most nutritious breakfast, eating jam scones and shortbread, but Leon wasn’t about to complain as long as Hop ate _something_. 

Seating themselves in the corner table, Leon placed his coat in his lap before taking a long gulp of coffee, not caring that it burned his tongue when he did so. It lacked a little too much sugar for his tastes, but he was already digging into his scone before he could even think to complain about it. Hop sat across the table from him, hands placed in his lap and staring at his own plate of scones, making no move to actually eat them.

When the cramping in his stomach subsided, Leon washed down his food with another gulp of coffee, not able to help but grow annoyed the longer he sat there watching Hop blatantly ignore his food. “Hurry and eat before it gets cold.”

Hop didn’t move a muscle, only tensed in his seat, even from where Leon sat, could see him shift just a little like he was uncomfortable, but made no move other than that.

“Hop.” Now wasn’t the time for him to get angry or start a scene, but with them being in such close proximity of each other, the small table they were at barely big enough for two people, Leon reached underneath, cupping his brother’s knee and gave him a small squeeze, feeling it the instant Hop froze underneath his touch. “Remember what we talked about. I don’t have to keep warning you, do I?” He swallowed the remainder of the food in his mouth, giving Hop a hard stare who refused to look up at him. “I’ll keep good on my word, you know that. I’m tired of reminding you over and over, but if you keep insisting on acting like this—” He paused to push his foot against Hop’s, causing him to flinch back, but still refused to look at him. “I’ll drag you off to the bathroom _right now_. Don’t think I won’t.”

“I’m sorry.” Hop’s voice came quick and curt, but Leon could see him shaking, and the apology threw him off where he blinked in surprise. “Lee, I’m sorry. I-I’m trying.” He grit his teeth, and he really could see how tense he was, how hard it was for Hop to sit there and try to control his shivering, but he reached up, palms shaking as he finally grabbed onto his scone before he took the smallest of bites from it.

Leaning back, Leon could only watch him as Hop picked at his food like a bird, but it was better than nothing. He felt a little guilty for saying those things to him, when it was obvious to him now that Hop really _was_ trying, but he was taking so long to even move, being as slow as possible, that it was running Leon’s patience into the ground. But, he sighed, slumping down in his chair and decide to top off his coffee as Hop ate half his scone. Standing from his seat, he made his way to the counter to get a refill and glanced back at Hop off in the corner.

He looked so small there, so closed off in that little corner of the shop, picking at his food, but Leon was happy to see him almost done with one of his scones. That was progress, though small, but he was glad to see Hop finally eat _something_.

The chatter of the bakery was calm and almost like white noise in the background, and Leon couldn’t help to stare at Hop as he looked so out of place being here. It only made him want to scoop his brother up and carry him off to Wyndon that much more—his thoughts were interrupted when the lady handed him a fresh cup of coffee and Leon thanked her before making his way back to their table.

In the time it took him to get a refill, Hop had started on his second scone, and Leon could see he had even drank some of his milk. He smiled as he scooted himself back into his chair. “Are they good?”

Not looking at him, Hop nodded. It seemed the more he started to eat, the more his appetite was coming back, as Leon noticed he was eating with a bit more gusto than before. That made him happy, seeing his brother finally giving into hunger and actually eating something.

“You want another?”

Hop washed down his second scone with a gulp of his milk, but shook his head. “No thanks.”

Leon propped his elbows up on the table. “I don’t mind, Hop. I’ll buy you more if you want.”

He watched Hop sink into himself again, shoulders bunching as if at war with himself over whether or not he wanted to continue eating. After a few moments of silence in which Leon didn’t think he was going to answer, Hop finally nodded. “One more.”

Smiling, Leon stood from the table once more, all too happy to trek back to the counter and buy his brother more food. This was the most he’d seen him eat all week, at least of his own volition, and he would buy out the entire bakery if it meant Hop got a proper meal for once. Though not healthy, it didn’t matter. He would worry later about giving Hop his fruits and vegetables, but for now, he carried another scone to the table, handing it to Hop who began eating it as though he were still famished.

“I’m glad you’re eating.” It was a simple statement, one that was honestly useless to make, but Leon didn’t know what else to say as he sat there watching Hop wolf down his breakfast. “Do you want another?” He would buy Hop as many scones as he wanted, even if he bought them out of their whole stock, it didn’t matter if it was for Hop.

To his disappointment, Hop shook his head, halfway through as he took a gulp of milk. For him to deny being hungry to being reduced to this so easily, Leon should have tried harder to get him to eat before. If this was any indication how truly hungry his brother had been, it made Leon feel like an ass he’d allowed him to get to this point.

Sighing, Leon took another swig of his coffee as Hop continued munching on his breakfast and let out a laugh through his nose. “If you’re this hungry, wait until we get to Wyndon. They have loads of amazing places to eat.”

At the mention of that, Hop stopped dead and froze, only a handful of his scone left as he slowly chewed what was in his mouth before swallowing. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it before swallowing again.

Leon perked up, waiting patiently for him to speak, but it bothered him to see Hop lose so much of his energy at the drop of a hat like that.

Finally, Hop opened his mouth again. “You’re…going back today, right?” His grip on his scone tightened, until he almost crushed it in his hands.

Leon shrugged. “Well yeah, I have to. I can’t afford to take off another week.” Well, he _could_ , but Leon didn’t feel like dealing with the questions he’d undoubtedly get at his expense. “Don’t worry.” Smiling, he leaned back in his chair, getting comfortable as he sipped his coffee. “We don’t have to leave just yet. The train ride takes a little while, but you probably have a lot to pack, righ—”

“I’m not going with you.” Hop cut him off before he could finish and Leon stiffened, the grip on his mug intensifying as he watched his brother once again recede into himself. Now wasn’t the time for arguments or disagreements, but Leon swallowed down his irritation, letting out a sigh as he tried to think of a calm way to talk to his brother.

“Yes, you are.” His palms felt sweaty, but he kept himself in check. Don’t get angry, don’t make a scene, and if anything, Hop wasn’t the one he had to worry about as he knew his brother wouldn’t cause a ruckus in public like this, but Leon—he had to compose himself. “Mum is already on board and she thinks it’ll be good for you. It’s not forever, Hop.”

“I don’t _want_ to go to Wyndon with you.” He had all but abandoned his scone, Hop’s breakfast now lay in a crumbled mess on his plate as he wrung his hands in and out, even from where Leon sat slumped in his chair could see how badly he was shaking, how his gaze had turned downward and he refused to look at him.

Leon frowned. “Well that’s too bad, because you’re going whether you want to or not.” This should have been the end of the discussion, but he could see Hop sweating in his chair, forehead prickled with sweat and palms still shaking as he gripped hold of his own hands and squeezed. “This isn’t a topic up for debate, Hop.”

Hop’s face shot up then and Leon could see how wide his eyes were, how his lip was quivering and how absolutely scared shitless he looked. “L-Lee… I don’t wanna go.”

Leon sighed, propping his elbows on the table again and holding his forehead. Hop was going to give him a headache at this point, but he let out a slow breath before speaking. “What’s so bad about going to Wyndon with me, Hop? Does living in a big city make you nervous? I’m going to be there with you, nobody is going to bother us, I promise. Raihan might come over and make a fuss, but he won’t bother you either.”

“I don’t want…” Hop swallowed. “I don’t want to be alone with you.”

So this was about last night. As Leon drew his face out of his hands, he placed his chin in his palm as he sat there watching his brother shiver in the chair across from him and couldn’t help but think how small and frail he looked. Leon never saw his brother as somebody weak and incapable, but he couldn’t help to as he gazed at him, hunched into himself, eyes constantly scanning as though unsure of what to look at, and even with the buzz of people around them, the hum of the machines behind the counter and the rustling of the heater above them, Leon could hear his brother sucking in short breaths as though struggling to breathe.

“I won’t—” Leon swallowed, letting out a tired sigh. “Hop, I won’t do that to you again. I promise.”

“Do you?” He looked up, finally settling his gaze onto Leon where he gave him a hard stare. “Do you promise never to touch me again?”

Leon’s eyebrow twitched and he frowned, lowering his propped up arm to cross them both in front of him. “Unfortunately, that’s not a promise I’m willing to make.”

Hop’s eyes widened.

“But, I will tell you I won’t hurt you like I did last night.” It was painful to admit he had caused his brother any pain, and even though Leon didn’t really believe he had done anything wrong in the first place, as he always made sure his brother enjoyed what he did to him, he knew Hop saw it as something horrible, and the only way to convince him Leon wasn’t some kind of monster was to bite down his pride a little and give in.

“Lee, I don’t want you to touch me at all.” His voice was low, almost a whisper, but Leon could hear him loud and clear.

Leon shrugged, trying not to get annoyed with him. “Are you trying to bargain with me? Is the only way you’d come to Wyndon with me going to be if I agree never to put my hands on you again?”

No reply, but Leon could see it in his eyes that’s exactly what Hop meant.

“How about this, then?” Leaning forward, Leon uncrossed his arms long enough to reach out, grip hold of Hop’s shaking wrists, watching as his brother gave him that horrified wide-eyed look as he pulled his fist apart, linking his fingers through Hop’s. “Here’s a bargain for you. Either I take you away right now, kicking and screaming out of this shop, we can fly there on Charizard and be back in Wyndon in no time where I lock you up in the apartment and touch you for as long as I want, however much I want, _or_ —”

It should have killed him to see the color drain from Hop’s face, but all it did was fuel his excitement as those awful words he spoke sounded so tantalizing in that moment. It didn’t matter if he didn’t mean it or not, Leon really didn’t care how upset Hop got with him, but it was getting harder and harder to keep his composure and talk sense with him. Especially when Hop only continued to protest with him.

“Or…” He gripped Hop’s hand tighter, overly aware of the cold sweat he could feel in his brother’s palms. “We go back home, I allow you to pack, say goodbye to Mum, and we take the train where I give you all the time in the world you need to get settled in. Your pick, Hop.”

The resistance he felt as Hop tried to pull his hand away was obvious, but Leon tightened his grip as he watched his brother open and close his mouth several times, as though fighting over what he should say. A multitude of emotions crossed his face, where Leon could see his eyes darting back and forth, never settling on something for too long, but the longer he sat there in silence, refusing to let go of his hand, the more impatient he was getting.

“Well?” He tugged at Hop’s hand, feeling him tremble below him. “What’s it going to be?”

“M-Mum wouldn’t let you.” Hop’s voice quivered as he continued pulling away from Leon, his cheeks now growing red as he no doubt worried over people around them watching them. Leon didn’t care if people saw, but he was too focused on his brother to even pretend he gave two shits that he was holding his hand like this. If people wanted to stare, let them stare.

“That’s not answering the question, but you already know she’s on board. Mum can’t get you out of that house fast enough. You’ve been worrying her all week, and you know as well as I do she’s going to jump you the moment you get home. Hell, she wants you in Wyndon more than I do.”

Horrible, awful things he was saying, but Leon didn’t care. Hop had driven him to this point, the point of no return, and the only thing on his mind was locking Hop up in his apartment where he could have him all to himself.

How tempting it was right now, with Hop right here, right in front of him, so small and frail, and Leon could just—take him. Scoop him up, causing a scene, Hop would no doubt kick and scream, try and fight him off, but Leon knew he was stronger, he knew it would take no effort at all to carry Hop out of this place and fly off to Wyndon with him. It wasn’t the way Leon wanted things to wind up, but if it came to that, then it came to that. Getting Hop in his apartment was all that mattered to him, and he knew—he knew the second he closed those doors, locked Hop up, he would ravage him with no inhibitions. He would hold him down, tear Hop’s clothes off him, and indulge all night long, kissing him, marking his body for all to see that _he was Leon’s_. He would have his brother screaming for more, crying out his name as he— _as Leon_ —made him orgasm for him.

As tempting as those thoughts were, as much as Leon had to fight to get those fantasies out of his mind while he was in public, he tightened his grip on Hop’s hand, wishing he would hold back, wishing he wasn’t shaking and breaking out in a sweat like this, wishing he would just accept Leon and realize that he loved him, and that all the things he did, even the moments of weakness he said horrible things, that it was all for Hop’s own good. If Hop would just hold him back, love him back, allow Leon to show him how awfully he loved him—he knew it would all be okay. Hop would love him. He would love him so much that he would regret the day he ever thought about looking at someone else ever again.

“C-can…” Hop swallowed, voice shaking, palms sweating, and Leon thought he could hear his teeth chattering again. “I don’t…I don’t want to go there now.”

Now?

Giving his brother a more gentle squeeze, Leon let out a sigh when he drew back, drawing small circles on Hop’s knuckles with his thumb as he did so. “What do you mean _now_?” Try as he might, Leon couldn’t seem to speak to him without sounding angry, even though he didn’t mean to. He wanted to be gentle, he wanted to be kind, but his voice betrayed his real emotions and he felt Hop stiffen in his hold.

“Give…” He swallowed again, his cheeks red. “Give me a week. Please.”

Leon perked up. “What on earth do you need a week for? It shouldn’t take you that long to pack.”

“Lee, please.” His eyes finally rose up, meeting Leon’s, and it was moments like these Leon couldn’t stand it when he made eye contact with him, when he saw how tired his brother looked, how the shadows under his eyes were becoming more prominent everyday. “Just a week, okay? I promise if—” His voice quivered before Hop had to cut himself off and swallowed, eyes darting down just for a moment before looking back up at Leon. “I’ll go with you when you come back. I just…I just need a week, okay?”

No matter how hard he tried, Leon couldn’t help the sneer he made as he pulled himself in closer to his brother, leaning over the table when he did so and causing Hop to lean back slightly. “You aren’t thinking of running away, are you? That’s an awful long time, Hop.”

Hop swallowed, and Leon watched as a bead of sweat rolled down the side of his forehead. But, he didn’t respond.

“Because if you do…” The moment he took to pause, he gave Hop a smile, though there was absolutely no merit behind it. No comfort, no joy. He lifted his brother’s hand up, bringing it to the edge of his lips where he gave Hop the smallest kiss he could afford to on his knuckles, causing Hop to draw his shoulders up, suck in a gasp, and stare at him in horror. “ _I’ll find you_ , Hop. I’ll find you no matter where you run off to, and I really will lock you in my apartment. I’ll take your phone away, I’ll keep you in a room where you can’t escape and nobody will know you’re there. You don’t want that to happen, do you?”

Slowly, Hop shook his head, never moving, completely frozen when Leon lowered his hand.

“Good.” Leaning back in his chair, Leon finally released Hop’s hand, noting how he drew back into himself as though he’d touched something disgusting, and he shifted in his seat, his breathing short, but heavy. Leon smiled, though it was no less convincing than his previous one. “A week it is then.”

It may have been horrible for him to say those things, but right now, Leon didn’t care. The longer this continued, the less patience he had, the more he was allowing his emotions to drive him, and the more insatiable he got at the idea of Hop coming to live with him. He knew the moment his brother walked through that door, he was going to be all over him, finally free of prying eyes or nosy mothers, but maybe Hop giving him a week to prepare wasn’t such a bad idea after all. It’d been too long he had cleaned his place up, and he should probably do some shopping and stock his cabinets with food.

Yeah, Hop giving him a week wasn’t a bad idea at all.

It was making him excited, and the displeasing feeling of having to leave his brother in the first place was slowly being replaced with giddiness. He couldn’t—absolutely couldn’t wait for Hop to come back home with him, and the longer he sat there in his seat, sipping at his coffee, the more excited it made him.

“Finish your scone, Hop.” Though Hop had only one more bite left, Leon was pleased to see his brother pick up the remainder of his rather squashed breakfast and eat it without protest. That only made him happier, and he felt a smile spread on his face, a genuine smile this time.

How he couldn’t _wait_ for next week. If there weren’t butterflies in his stomach before, there most certainly were now, and Leon’s coffee, though too bitter for his tastes, was sweeter than anything he’d eaten that day when he shotgunned the rest of it, standing from the table as Hop took a final swig from his milk.

He had never felt so full and satisfied when he passed by Hop, giving him a pat on the shoulder and a wide grin. It had been too long Leon felt this good, and nothing, absolutely nothing was going to ruin this for him. Hop followed behind him in relative silence, the bitter cold of the outside like a slap in the face when Leon held the door open for him, Hop sauntering out before digging his hands into his pocket.

They had gotten way too used to the heater, but Leon smiled as he held his coat out for him. “You can have it again if you’re cold.” Without waiting for Hop to respond, Leon unfolded his coat, spreading it out, and wrapped it back around his brother who only turned his gaze to the side. Hop looked so _fucking cute_ in his clothes, it was driving Leon insane. When he got to the apartment, he wanted so bad to fuck him in his bed, strip Hop of all his clothes, and give him his shirt to wear. A half naked Hop wearing his oversized shirt while walking around the apartment got Leon way more excited than he wanted to admit, but he settled for giving Hop a pat on the head.

Once again, Leon had Charizard out of his pokeball, waiting for his partner to stretch and yawn before leaning down for them to hop on his back. This time, Leon moved behind Hop, grabbed him by the sides and lifted him up as though he weighed nothing, gaining the most adorable yelp from his brother as he did so, but thankfully without much protest.

“Have you lost weight?” Leon asked as he climbed up behind him, scooting Hop into his lap before wrapping his arm around him. He couldn’t help but tease him, pinching a fold of his skin in his hands and loving the way Hop made a grumble of discontent below him. “You have barely any fat on you.”

Hop batted his hands away as he pinched his sides, Charizard spreading his wings before shooting off into the sky again. It was obvious the way Hop was bouncing up every time he poked his stomach that he was ticklish, something that seemed to have slipped Leon’s mind at some point. As bad as he wanted to dig his fingers into his brother’s ribs, he knew if he got Hop riled up enough, he might risk him falling off of Charizard, so he held himself back, settling for wrapping his arm back around his stomach to hold him in place.

He couldn’t wait, _he couldn’t wait, Leon couldn’t fucking **wait**_ for Hop to come live with him. He felt so high right now, in a figurative and literal sense as they flew over Motostoke, coming upon the Wild area and heading back to Postwick. Leon had never been more thrilled over anything in his life imagining life with Hop in the apartment. Oh how he would spoil him, feed him the best food and get some meat on his scrawny little ass, walk around the city with him and show him the sights, take him to the stadium where they could watch Pokemon matches together—it made him happy, so happy fantasizing about things like that.

During the day, the world would be their oyster, and at night—Leon breathed in the scent on his brother’s hair a final time before Charizard touched down into the quiet small town of Postwick. At night, he would touch him, kiss him, mark his entire body where anybody who saw the marks would know that Hop was _Leon’s_. He would take Hop to his bed, kiss him hard, have Hop moaning for him and begging him for it, and Leon would indulge him for as long as he wanted, because he loved him so much. _Fuck, did he love him_.

As they disembarked off Charizard, Leon practically dancing as he gripped Hop’s sides and pulled him down, he smiled at his brother. With Charizard back in his ball, Hop’s rather slumped posture only worsening as Leon held the door open for him, he couldn’t help to keep smiling.

Because next week couldn’t come fast enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made myself hungry for scones writing this :(
> 
> If it weren’t obvious, SOMETHING IMPORTANT IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT CHAPTER and i cannot wait to share it with you guys!!! With that being said, it might take a little longer for me to write it out, because i want to do it justice as it’s something I’ve been nervous/excited to explore. Please be patient with me if it takes a little longer to write than normal, but i want to do the best i can with it. 
> 
> I appreciate all of you guys so much. Your support means the world to me!! I hope you’re all having a lovely day/evening/night, and I’ll see you soon! :D


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we get started SIZZLED DREW ME AMAZING FANART FOR THIS FIC ON TWITTER PLEASE LOOK AT IT, IT’S ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL ;O;
> 
> https://twitter.com/swizzleda/status/1220008236876693505?s=21
> 
> Also, this is probably one of the meanest things i have ever written? Specifically in this chapter, but it was something i really wanted to explore, so i just want to let y’all know. Yeah. This chapter is mean.

Coming inside from the hustle and bustle of Wyndon was like entering another world. As Leon strode into his apartment, the emptiness being the only thing he was aware of, he dropped his bags by the door before closing it, flopped down on the couch, and let out a loud sigh.

It was Sunday evening, and he already missed his brother. Part of him regretted allowing him a week to do…well, whatever it was Hop needed a week to do, but another part of him knew there were preparations he himself needed to make before Friday. That was the plan anyway. Go about his daily tasks, tidy up the apartment, buy a lot of food and junk that Hop would enjoy, and he’d be back on the train Friday to pick him up at the station. That was their agreement.

As Leon lay there on the couch, staring at the ceiling, his mind racing with excitement and his stomach churning with nerves, he couldn’t stop thinking about how Mum did just as he had said before and jumped Hop for running away the moment they walked through that door. It was no surprise to see his brother slink back to stand there and take it, and while Leon felt a little bad watching his brother get ripped into like that, he couldn’t help to think he _needed_ to hear Mum nag him about the importance of not taking off like that and running away. No excuse Hop could come up with would be good enough, and he could do little but stand there and say he was sorry.

It was over and done with. Hop was safe, Hop was back home, and as Leon packed his bags that evening, he couldn’t help to smile as he thought about all the things they could do once he got his brother in Wyndon with him. There was a popular restaurant not far from the stadium he’d been dying to take him to. Hop was a curry lover at heart, and while it was a bit on the expensive side, Leon didn’t mind spoiling his brother. If it was for Hop, he would empty his pockets in no time just to make him happy. Being the ex champion and all that, it wasn’t as though Leon was hurting for money.

Parting with Hop had been bittersweet as he said goodbye to his childhood room one last time, Leon couldn’t help to make his way into Hop’s bedroom where he saw his brother splayed out on his bed, absentmindedly playing on his phone. It was hard to leave him like this, but Leon knew the reward for waiting a week for him would be sweeter than anything he could have ever imagined. Come Friday, Leon would be living in a dream yet again, as the past week back at home had felt like a fantasy come to life, then surely the coming days once Friday arrived would be all the more surreal.

“I’ll see you Friday.” Giving Hop a goodbye kiss on the mouth, one that made him so happy because Hop neither flinched away from him, nor protested against despite the fact he stiffened at the contact, but Leon could forgive him. He was riding too high, too, too high on his fantasies right now to care that Hop was still shy around him. It was cute. Endearing, and he couldn’t wait to have him all to himself, because he knew once he got Hop alone in the apartment with him, Leon would spare him no longer. There would be no fear of getting caught, no fear of Hop alerting Mum, and Leon wouldn’t have to worry about sneaking around. In his apartment, there would be no holding back. Not even for Hop.

With his bags packed, his coat wrapped around him that he swore smelled like Hop now which made it hard to think about washing it, Leon made his way downstairs where Mum greeted him a final time. It wasn’t long after lunchtime and as he opened the front door, could see the sun still climbed high in the sky. With a final hug from Mum, a wave goodbye and a promise to see them Friday, Leon took one final glance back at his childhood home before trudging down to Wedgehurst.

The entire train ride back, he could’t stop tapping his foot in anticipation. The anticipation of Hop coming to live with him, but more importantly, the fact that a mere five days from now, though not quite the week Hop was probably hoping for, Hop would be sitting right here on the train with him as Leon fought to control himself from going at him. Five days away from his brother was going to swell his hunger for him, he knew, but he was going to have to bite down that hunger the next time he saw him. He had to think of it like waiting for his dessert when he’d been little. If he was good and waited, the dessert would taste ten times sweeter than if he chose to indulge right away.

Even on his couch, the sun just shy of setting as the golden strands of light crawled down his walls, Leon felt like his insides were going to explode. He had to go back to work tomorrow, but there was already so much he had to do. Even though work came first, he had to clean his apartment, stock up on foods, and make up the guest bedroom for Hop— He stopped. Did Hop even need his own bedroom? It might have been overkill to go out of his way and tidy up the bedroom for him considering Leon suspected he wouldn’t do much sleeping in there. It made him laugh through his nose, the thought of Hop basically moving into Leon’s bedroom with him. It wasn’t like his bed couldn’t accommodate the both of them after all, but he tried not to let his lust overtake him. No, Hop needed his own privacy just as much as Leon did, so he decided to strike that off his mental list as well to give Hop his own room. At least for awhile.

It felt like hours Leon lay on his couch, daydreaming of things to come, the sun slowly setting outside as night time rode around, but just as his eyes grew heavy and he began to doze off, a loud banging on his front door caused him to jump and sit straight up. Only one person insisted they knock that damn obnoxiously, and he couldn’t help but frown when he opened his front door and there was Raihan, striding in like he owned the place, not even bothering to ask if he could come in. Well, Leon knew him well enough that he didn’t need to ask, but still.

“I see you’re done playing hooky, champ.”

Ugh, Leon grumbled to himself as he closed his door. It was annoying when Raihan called him that, but he couldn’t really hate his friend for it either. If there was one thing he could always count on Raihan for, it was to give him a hard time when he needed it. Or even when he didn’t need it.

“I wasn’t playing hooky, I was visiting my family.”

“Sure, whatever you say.” Plopping down on his couch, Raihan spread his legs out, stretching and getting way too comfortable as he leaned back and folded his arms behind his head. “Got a new batch of gym challengers. Bet you saw all about it on the news, right?”

Leon shrugged, deciding since Raihan was hogging the couch (guy _really_ needed to stretch his legs so much he couldn’t even leave room for Leon to sit?), he may as well start unpacking his bags. “I haven’t really been watching a whole lot of the telly.”

“Ehhh, don’t bother. The kids they picked this time are much to be desired. Word is, half of ‘em can’t even beat Nessa. No offense to her, but _really_?” Raihan threw his head back and let out a loud laugh. “After seeing Gloria and your brother trounce their way to the top, it’s hard to believe most of these kids suck ass.”

That gut reaction Leon was all too familiar with entered his stomach at the mention of that girl’s name. Not even here, not even in the safety of his own apartment was his free of hearing that stupid name until he was ready to throw up. Shouldn’t that have stopped the moment Hop got rejected? But no, it continued, because every time Leon thought about it, all he could focus on was how this was all her fault. It was all her fault Hop got a crush on her, it was all her fault Hop started looking at her the way he used to look at Leon, and it was all her fault Leon got so jealous that his desire drove him to say and do the things he did to his brother— He stopped, hands placed on a bottle of shampoo he dug out of his bag as he took a moment to breathe, sucking in a nice long gulp of air. Now wasn’t the time to get upset over her. She rejected Hop, much to Leon’s bewilderment, and it was over and done with. No use dwelling on it.

Raihan didn’t appear to notice Leon’s dip in mood as he continued rambling on from the couch, talking about gym leaders this and Pokemon battles that. Honestly, it was becoming white noise in the background as Leon unpacked, and when he’d put away all his clothes, his computer, his toiletries and the like, he was finally faced with his empty bag, Raihan never once shutting the hell up the entire time he walked around, packing away his things.

Finally, Leon made his way back to the couch where Raihan was bouncing his knee up and down like he was restless, but since he was hogging the whole damn couch by sitting right in the center, Leon rolled his eyes and chose to sat in the corner chair. “Thanks for helping me unpack.” Obviously, that was sarcasm, but Raihan let out a laugh through his nose.

“No problem, that’s what I’m here for. So, tell me how things are with your Mum and bro?”

“Fine.” There was no way he was going to tell Raihan about the nitty gritty details of his past week. It was no secret that Raihan was a bit…what was a good word? _Loud,_ to put it nicely? About things like that. Even though Leon knew his friend wasn’t the most innocent person ever, as he had his fair share of times he’d walked in on Raihan masturbating on his toilet, or flirting with him, mostly in a teasing sense. But, even though they’d drunkenly made out before after one too many beers, there was nothing serious going on between them, so it wasn’t like Leon could say he was cheating on him when he and Raihan weren’t even a couple. That being said, he kind of doubted his friend was going to let him go quietly if he knew he’d been intimate with his brother. And there was no way he would embarrass Hop like that by throwing him to the wolves so to say. If not Leon, then Raihan would no doubt tease his brother about that when he got here. As annoying as Raihan could be, he knew he had no ill intentions, but that didn’t stop Leon from wanting to make sure Hop’s stay here was a pleasant one, even if he had to chase off Raihan to make it so.

“Just fine?” He reared his head back to stare at Leon. “Nothing exciting?”

Sweat prickled at his forehead as he thought back to how there was way too _much_ excitement the past week. Those seven days he spent at home felt like seven years, but he quickly nodded as he fought to ignore how sweaty he’d just gotten. “Yeah. Just hung out.” He took a moment to stretch back in his chair, popping his back when he did so. It may have been a bad idea to bring this up now, but Raihan was going to find out one way or another. “I gotta get the place cleaned up before Friday.”

“What’s so special about Friday?”

And he couldn’t help the flutter that dipped in his chest when Leon smiled. “Hop’s coming to live with me for awhile.” Just saying that got him riled up and excited. As exhausted as he was from all that had happened the past week, Leon had renewed energy just by saying that and felt the need to get off his ass and scrub his apartment from top to bottom.

Raihan made a little ‘ _oooh’_ noise as he gave Leon a toothy smile. “You’ll have to properly introduce us. Can’t say I remember the kid a whole lot, to be honest. No offense.”

Leon rolled his eyes. “He’s a little shy, so I don’t want you bothering him, got it?”

“No, no.” Batting his hands back and forth, Raihan finally leaned up in his seat before crossing his legs. “Wouldn’t dream of it, champ. But, if he’s really _that_ shy, I might not be able to help but tease him.”

“Just watch yourself.”

“Sheesh, what are you, his mother?” Before Leon could open his mouth and start giving him hell, Raihan batted his hands again before standing from the couch. “Kidding, kidding. Don’t get your panties in a puff, princess.” He stretched before popping his neck and back in several places, something that always made Leon cringe even though he did the same exact thing, before he gave Leon another toothy grin. “Reckon I’ll leave. Really just came by to see ya and let you know what’s been going on.”

Leon nodded. “Appreciate it.”

“Any time. Let me know if you need help cleaning your place up before baby bro gets here.”

Rolling his eyes, Leon saw him to the door before Raihan excused himself. “Right, I’ll be sure you’re the first person I call if I need someone to sit on their ass and watch the telly while I clean.”

Without bothering to come back at that, Raihan let out a laugh before disappearing out the door, leaving Leon alone in his apartment once again. Sighing, he retreated back to the couch, flopping down on it and noting how warm it was from having Raihan sit on it this entire time. It wasn’t that late in the evening, not time for bed anyway, but he knew if he got comfortable enough, he would soon drift off.

Leaning up for a moment, he spied his coat draped over the arm of the couch and he reached up, nabbing it to pull it back to him. It still lingered with the scent of Hop and Leon couldn’t help but dig his face into it, inhaling that sweet scent, the sweet scent of his brother. As he curled up on the couch, face dug into his coat, Hop’s scent about to drive him insane and make him dizzy, he couldn’t help to smile.

Five days. Just five more days, and Hop would be right here, right in front of him, sitting on the couch where Leon would surely drape his arm around him, hold him close, and he would be drowning in that sweet scent. He would shower Hop in kisses, suck as many hickeys on his neck as he wanted for everyone to see. Hop might protest about that, but Leon wanted people to see marks like that. It was proof that Hop was _his_ and how much Leon loved— _fucking loved_ him. Nobody else was allowed to do that, just Leon.

Friday couldn’t get here fast enough, and as Leon indulged in those fantasies, his face dug into the collar of his coat, he drifted off right there on the couch.

* * *

 _Ugh_.

Leon couldn’t help the audible groan he made as he found himself standing outside the former Rose Tower. The sun was just beginning to dip below the horizon, and he knew if he dallied too long, it would soon be nightfall before he got the chance to go grocery shopping. Being at the tower all day took a toil on him and while he was by no means physically weak, his mind had been consumed all day long. Mostly of thoughts pertaining to Hop.

It was Monday, the beginning of the week, and Friday still couldn’t get here fast enough. No matter how hard Leon tried to daydream during the day, focus entirely on his battles, it wasn’t enough to stop him from remembering how he had to be there all day long, away from the apartment, away from Postwick, away from Hop.

Snuggling down into his coat, he caught a whiff of that sugary scent and felt the warmth spread throughout his chest. It didn’t matter how cold it was outside, he always felt all the warmth he needed anytime he smelled his coat. As embarrassing as it was to admit, it was one of the few things helping him through the day. Anytime he got overwhelmed, bored, or anything in between that made him stressed out that the day just wasn’t _going by fast enough_ , Leon always found himself curling against his coat, taking a moment to inhale the scent of his brother that continued to linger, and he felt the butterflies pool into his stomach once again.

Soon, he wouldn’t have to rely on his coat for the comfort of Hop, as by this time Friday, he would be going to retrieve the real thing. Leon had half a mind to abandon his things and just fly over there right now on Charizard, but he knew he couldn’t do that. It was hard, resisting temptation like this. Hop was becoming like a drug to him and just the one day he’d been away from him, Leon felt he was experiencing withdrawals.

In due time. He had to swallow down his urges to remember that Friday was going to come by eventually, and Hop would be right here, in his arms, and despite how much he told himself he would wait, he knew he wouldn’t be able to resist going at his brother, tearing his clothes off, and fucking him until he was moaning his name over and over.

Leon sighed, the noises of the city dragging him out of his fantasies when he made his way down the sidewalk. It wouldn’t be the most ideal shopping experience if he were to get hard while pulling down cans of tomato soup and ramen noodles off the shelf. Doing menial tasks such as this was all too mind numbing and he couldn’t help but daydream while he shopped for groceries that evening. All he could think was, what were some things Hop enjoyed? Hop was the one he was mainly shopping for anyway. Anything else he bought would just be to stock his apartment.

He knew his brother liked sweets. That was enough drive to grab a bag of cookies along with several candy bars and anything else sweet he could get his hands on. Maybe that’s why Hop always smelled faintly of sugar, but no, he always caught that scent on his hair, so it had to be his shampoo. If Leon had remembered, he would have gone through the bathroom at home to see which brand it was and buy that for him, but he wasn’t thinking of things like that, because why would he feel the need to fantasize about Hop when Hop was already right there?

His chest swelled, even as he bought cleaning supplies, planning to give his apartment the best clean he’d ever bothered to give it. Everything had to be perfect for Hop. Maybe he was going out of his way to do unnecessary things like this, but it made him happy knowing he was sprucing his place up for his brother. He knew Hop wouldn’t give two shits if his place was clean or not, but it was something for Leon to focus on, something to distract him from the fact he had till Friday until he got to see Hop again.

It was almost sad how often he was thinking about his brother like this. Even at the tower, during the day he was supposed to be focusing on battling challengers and whatnot, his mind refused to let him focus on anything else. It only made it more obvious how awfully slow his week was going to be. That thought made Leon grimace, but he quickly recovered at the prospect of tidying up his apartment. Leon wasn’t a dirty person by any means, he just got cluttered once in awhile. He barely stayed in his apartment if only to sleep and eat, but with Hop coming—he smiled. Well. With Hop there, he would probably spend a lot more time indoors.

The darkness of his apartment greeted him as he entered with his shopping bags, dumping them all on the counter and turning the telly on the news station just to have some background noise where he wouldn’t feel as alone. Raihan would visit often, but not every night, as there were hardly any gym challengers who made it to Raihan, so he wasn’t as busy as Milo or Nessa. That gave him plenty of time to come and bug Leon, but despite how much he enjoyed his friend’s company, Leon was too preoccupied right now and knew if Raihan had been here, he’d only get in the way.

The sun had long since set, as the winter brought longer nights with it, but that didn’t stop Leon. It might take him all week, but that was quite alright with him. Pulling out the cleaning supplies he’d bought, he started with the bathroom as it seemed the most appropriate place to start as any. It wasn’t like his bathroom was gross, but Leon was still a single man living by himself and the build up of soap scum in his shower wasn’t the most beautiful sight in the world. Not for Hop, anyway. Thinking of Hop only gave him renewed energy, and by the time he realized it, Leon’s shower was scrubbed sparkling clean, fresh towels set out for later, his soaps stocked, and he even bought Hop his own toothbrush which he placed next to his on the counter.

Sure, Hop was probably going to bring things like that himself, but Leon couldn’t help himself. Without Hop by his side, he kept eyeing things to buy for him, wondering what he’d like, what would make him happy, the happiest to get something from Leon, because after all— Leon loved him and wanted to see him smile.

As he trudged by his living room, the news droning on about incoming snowy weather, Leon attempted to clean his kitchen, but when he saw the clock was pushing it kind of late, had to blink in surprise he had spent that much time just cleaning his bathroom. Shit, this really would take all week, but he shook his head. All the better so he would have something to occupy himself with. Leon didn’t mind at all if all he did that week was clean, but the moment he stopped and sat down on the couch, it only made his heart race that much faster.

Why was time taking so long to pass by? The excitement, the nerves in his stomach were about to make him sick, and it was getting harder and harder to resist the urge to fly back to Postwick if not just to wrap his arms around Hop and give him a long, deep kiss. Even with these thoughts on his mind, Leon’s hand trailed down to his sweatpants absentmindedly to pull his phone from his pocket. As usual, he had a few missed texts from Raihan, but his ignored those in favor of pulling up Hop’s number.

His thumb hovered over his brother’s name, but he paused, swallowing as he felt beads of sweat form at the base of his neck. Would Hop even pick up if he called? Was calling even a good idea in the first place? Maybe he should text—but Leon bit his lip. Sending any kind of calls or texts to Hop was only going to make it harder to resist flying back there right now. He knew his patience was being tested to the limit and as hard—as fucking hard as it was to bite the blood from his lip and lay his phone down, he knew he couldn’t do that right now.

In due time, all in due time. Hop was probably busy with his own stuff right now, but Leon couldn’t help but think about what he was doing. Was he cleaning too? Packing bags? Eating dinner with Mum while the telly droned on in the background for them too? He wished, he wanted so bad for Hop to be excited about coming up here, as he knew it wasn’t anything permanent, maybe a few weeks at the most, but damn did he want to keep Hop here for as long as possible. Maybe if he built it up to Mum that he was having a good time and was happy, she would jump for joy at the idea of keeping him up here.

After all, Leon lived alone. It wasn’t like accommodating another person was going to put him out. Especially not Hop. Hop wasn’t loud or annoying (unlike _some_ people), so having him live here with him for awhile would only put Leon’s mind at ease knowing he could keep a close eye on his brother this way. But honestly, he was more excited about the thought that they could do whatever they wanted here. There would be no more sneaking around, no more worrying about being quiet. Leon could indulge, _indulge **, indulge**_.

How he would keep good on his promise to treat his brother gently, ease him into it. He would never treat his brother rough like he did before ever again. Maybe with Hop being away from home, he would open up a little more without the fear of Mum walking in on them. Leon wasn’t cruel, he knew all his brother needed was a little push in the right direction to get him to understand things from his perspective. After all, Hop could be shy, and Leon knew he came on pretty strong, so maybe backing off and easing him into it would be the better approach.

Even though it didn’t matter considering they had already made love. Leon sucked in air at the thought of it, how badly he wanted to do that again, despite his rationale telling him he couldn’t afford to be rough with Hop like that anymore—but the other part of him loved it. He loved teasing him, he loved fucking him with no inhibitions until Hop— _Hop_ —was moaning for him. With Hop living here with him, Leon only grew more excited thinking about all the things they could do.

Hop would learn to love it. Leon closed his eyes as he lay his head back while the telly droned on in the background, becoming more and more like white noise. Hop was going to love it, Leon would make sure he would. Even if it took him days, weeks, months, Leon would make sure his brother was _begging_ him for it by the end, as he looked up at him with those golden eyes, all his admiration, all his love, everything Hop ever held for Leon would be displayed right there, all for him.

All for Leon.

* * *

The next two days passed by in a blur. A slow, agonizing crunch of a blur. Leon’s time at the tower was only grating on his nerves, but the weather was also causing him grief. With the incoming cold fronts that kept being talked about, nobody bothered to mention that it was going to rain before then, and Leon didn’t mind being cold or even wet for that matter, but being both cold _and_ wet _and_ impatient as he only continued waiting for Friday was enough to frazzle his nerves until he began snapping at people in the tower, not meaning to. Nobody was used to seeing Leon, former champion Leon, lose his cool like that, but it had become a much more commonplace occurrence ever since—well, ever since he lost his title. Leon was the charming, charismatic gentleman everyone loved. Not a love struck fool who let his emotions control him.

Ugh. Leon found himself seated at his table, having just cleaned his kitchen from top to bottom, throwing out old food in the pantry and replacing a whole cabinet full of sweets and treats all for Hop. That pantry wasn’t to be touched until Friday, but damn did it look lonely and inviting, Leon only wanting to watch Hop stuff his face with as much sugar as possible.

With him seated at the table, he cupped his forehead in his hands, letting out a sigh and regretting having snapped at the receptionist today. It wasn’t even her fault, but he was so high strung from being as impatient as he was, that he whirled on her and raised his voice when she had just asked a simple question and _hell_ , did he feel like an ass for it. Nobody was used to seeing him this way, and he’d even gotten comments from fellow tower competitors asking if he was okay. All he could do was nod, brush them off, and insist he was, but the truth was, he was going insane.

Being apart from his brother was killing him, and Leon hated that he was becoming so codependent on him like this. Maybe not even that, but shit—he enjoyed spending time with Hop in the past, but never did he have withdrawals from being away from him like this. It was literally like he’d taken a drug, if that drug were Hop, and ever since being that intimate with him, even making love to him, Leon felt like a piece of him had been ripped out and taken away from him when Hop was away.

He sighed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he looked around his place one last time. That was crazy, thinking things like that, but he couldn’t help it. The longer this continued on, the more desperate Leon could feel himself getting. If he lost all his composure, there was no telling what he might do, but he had to focus and keep himself in check. This was all for Hop’s own benefit, and if he slipped up and did something wrong—well, he didn’t like to think about what might happen.

Still, it was only Wednesday and Leon had cleaned more in the past two days than he had ever cleaned in his life. Even if his apartment wasn’t dirty so to speak, it definitely looked brighter, shinier, and tidier. He’d been working hard every evening he got home, packing foods up, cleaning out the spare bedroom, and even furnished it with new sheets, just for Hop.

Standing from the table as he felt he’d taken a long enough break from cleaning, Leon stopped as his phone buzzed in his pocket and sure enough, once he fished it out, saw a selfie from Raihan about more gym challenger nonsense. Any other time, Leon would indulge his friend, but right now, he really could have given less of a shit what was going on with them. As his thumb glazed over the text message box to reply, he stopped himself.

The last text message he sent his brother was about two weeks ago, around that last Thursday before he took the train down to visit for the weekend, or rather the entire week, and he pulled it open. Hop wasn’t one for selfies like Raihan was and Leon felt annoyed at the fact he had more photos of Raihan saved on his phone than any normal person should have of their best friend, but the sight of Hop’s last message warmed his chest and he couldn’t help but smile.

_‘Can’t wait to see you! :D’_

That was the last thing Hop ever sent him before—

Leon swallowed, tapping the message box and he couldn’t help himself before he typed out a message. Several thoughts went through his mind, some desperate, some even coming out into his text message, but he quickly deleted it, not wanting to risk Mum finding Hop’s phone and seeing him saying things like that to his brother. But, it was incredibly hard to keep his thoughts innocent and simply familial and before he knew it, Leon had written and rewritten his text about ten times before he finally settled on something simple.

_‘I miss you. Can’t wait to see you Friday.’_

Taking a breath, he hit send, hoping it wasn’t too forward, but also hoping it was just forward enough that Hop could read how much he _really did_ miss him through the text. Leon wasn’t a loner by any means, nor did he constantly crave social interaction, but he had to admit that these past few days by himself at the apartment were some of the emptiest he’d felt in a long time.

The little _read_ message popped up and Leon’s heart fluttered when he saw that Hop had read his message, but sank just as quickly as he waited and waited for a reply, only for there never to be one. Ten minutes had passed without him realizing while Leon stood staring at his phone, hoping for something, anything, any kind of confirmation from his brother, but he received none.

His thumb almost pressed the call button before he realized what he was doing and stopped himself. It was late. Hop was probably sleeping. Maybe he woke him up and in his groggy state, wasn’t really paying attention to his phone. Leon sighed, trying to calm himself down. Now wasn’t the time to get worked up just because Hop left him on read.

Another sigh. Right. It was late, and Leon had done just about all the cleaning he could manage for another night. It was by complete accident, but he had been crashing on his couch the past few nights, finding it more comfortable to sleep out next to the telly rather than in his bedroom. Maybe he was just excited for Hop to sleep with him so much, that he really would let his desires take him if he slept in his own bed. It was yet another delayed gratification that he was withholding from himself, the idea of Hop sleeping in his bed with him, but Leon was determined to hold his emotions down, swallow it whole, until Hop was right here with him.

* * *

The gentle tapping of rain against his window wasn’t what roused him from sleep early that morning, but rather the loud annoying buzz coming from his phone. Groggy as all hell and confused who would be calling him this early in the morning, Leon groped around for his phone before digging it out from between the cushions and surprised to see Mum was calling him. Tapping the little green icon, still sleepy, and not able to hide it from his voice, Leon answered, “Mmllo?”

“Leon?” Mum sounded quite sheepish, but as Leon lifted himself off the couch, hair falling in tangles around his shoulder, could already hear that tone in her voice that suggested she was about to tell him something he didn’t want to hear. “I’m sorry to wake you, dear, but I wanted to tell you as soon as possible.”

One glance at his digital clock told Leon it was almost eight that morning and he groaned. He hadn’t meant to sleep so long, but nobody would care if he arrived a little late at the battle tower.

“What’s going on?” He rubbed at his face, trying to wipe the sleep from his eyes and hide the yawn that was threatening to escape.

“I’m so sorry, dear, I know how excited you were for your brother to visit, but he won’t be able to go with you this Friday.”

Leon’s yawn caught in his throat and he choked on it, not meaning to when he coughed and sputtered in the phone. “What?” That came out way more aggressive than he’d meant it, but he was wide awake now, having stood from his spot on the couch, his blanket toppling off his lap and into the floor.

“Calm down, honey, I know you were looking forward to it, but Hop suddenly got ill last night. He’s been throwing up and he had a fever this morning. I don’t think he should be traveling in this state, especially not to Wyndon. You don’t want to catch his sickness either.”

It was a lie. Leon broke out into a sweat, a cold horrible sweat and he began to shake as he stood there in front of his couch, heart pounding so hard in his chest, he was surprised it hadn’t thumped right out of him. Hop was lying, he knew. A sudden sickness, right before he was due to come down and pick him up? Of fucking course he was lying. This was just another attempt to make things as difficult as possible for Leon, but he knew the truth. Like hell Hop was actually sick.

When Leon didn’t respond, Mum continued. “He insisted I not call you, but I didn’t want you traveling all the way back down here. I hope you aren’t too disappointed, dear.”

“I can…take care of him.” His voice was low, rumbling out until he felt every vibration from it, not meaning to sound this way, but he couldn’t help it. Leon’s entire body was shaking, but from what, he couldn’t even tell. Was it anger? It could have been anger, but it was mostly his hunger, he knew that. How dare Hop, how dare he delay Leon’s gratification like this, when he was going out of his way for him, going so far as to stock his cabinets with food only Hop would like, buy him new sheets for the bed, and clean his place inside and out—all for _Hop_? He really had no idea, Hop had absolutely no idea what he was doing to him, how hard it had been for Leon this entire week to stay away from him, how hard he had been trying every night not to give into his emotions and fly down there to snatch him away.

“No, dear, you don’t have to do that. I’m sure he’ll be fine, I just don’t want him causing you trouble.”

“It’s no trouble. I can come down there right now—”

But Mum cut him off. “Absolutely not! He’s not made of glass, honey. I know you’re disappointed, but he can still make the move next Friday.” Leon’s grip on his phone only tightened, as did his throat when he fought to swallow and say something, but he couldn’t form any words. “I’ll make sure he’s ready to go by next Friday, okay?”

Next…

 _Friday_.

The back of Leon’s knees hit the couch and he flopped down on the cushion, a horrible tightening feeling welling in his chest. Hadn’t he been patient enough as it was? Was Hop really faking being ill to get out of coming here for another week? Though he couldn’t see it, Leon could tell the color had drained from his face and he felt light-headed. He wanted to say no, hell fucking no, he wanted to shout into the phone at his Mum how could she possibly believe Hop was sick when he was so obviously faking it to get out of coming to Wyndon, but he gritted his teeth, sucking in a breath before letting it out.

Hop was cruel to do this to him, but even crueler was getting Mum involved where he knew Leon wouldn’t be able to do anything about it should he want to inform her he was being intimate with his own brother. Fucking dammit, for Hop to pull this, it made Leon want to boil over in anger, but he had to force it own when he spoke to Mum.

“Okay. I’ll be down there next Friday.”

“I’m sorry, dear. I’ll call you the moment he shakes this thing, okay?”

“Thanks.” With that, he said goodbye to Mum before hanging up his phone, the tapping of the rain against his window sounding so much louder than before as he tried to remember to breathe and not panic. This was only a minor setback, it wasn’t like Hop was trying to think of an excuse to get out of coming here for good. He hadn’t told Mum, as far as Leon knew anyway, it didn’t appear she knew about them, and who knows—maybe Hop was being truthful. Maybe he really did come down with a cold, as coincidental as it was, the day before Leon was supposed to come down to fetch him, maybe it really was the most coincidental of circumstances that Hop got sick now of all times.

Squeezing his phone, he bit his bottom lip again before letting out a forced laugh through his nose. Yeah right. Bull fucking shit Hop was actually sick. He bet he concocted this scheme on the fly just to have an excuse not to come up here with him. After Leon had been nice enough to give him a week to pack, Hop was throwing a tantrum like he was, delaying the inevitable, and now not only had Leon killed himself just over the past few days, but now he was going to have to wait even longer.

His hands were moving faster than his body, and before he knew it, he had Hop’s name pulled up on his phone. The text message he sent last night remained unanswered, but Leon didn’t care to worry about that now. He hit his brother’s name, holding the phone to his ear as the dial tone echoed one time before going straight to voicemail. _Fucking really_? Had Hop turned his phone off, or was he ignoring Leon’s calls? Not bothering to leave him a voicemail, Leon hung up and tried again.

Voicemail.

Again.

Voicemail.

Once more.

Voicemail.

The longer he stood here doing this, each time that stupid robotic voice drone on in his ear, the angrier he was getting. Leon had to bite the blood from his lip to keep from losing his cool, grabbing Charizard right this second, and flying down to Postwick where he would storm that house, drag Hop out kicking and screaming if he had to, and bring him back here. He didn’t care if Mum saw, he didn’t care what anyone had to say to him—he just wanted Hop right here with him. Leon took a deep breath. He couldn’t, _he knew that_ , but dammit, Hop was the one doing this to him. Hop was the one who drew first blood.

One final time he tried calling his brother, met with his voicemail yet again, and Leon pulled the phone away from his ear, instead bringing up the text message from last night before he began typing away at his brother, not bothering to stop and think about what he was even saying to him.

_‘What are you doing’_

Send.

_‘Are you really sick’_

Send.

_‘If you’re faking I will find out. Do you want me to fly down there right this second because I will don’t think I wont’_

Send.

Hands shaking, Leon stared down at the cluster of texts he was sending Hop, not caring how desperate he sounded, but hoping that he got across to his brother he was pissed at him. But, even Hop had to realize his threats were empty at this point. Leon knew that too. It was mostly his anger talking, saying he would fly down, when he knew damn well he couldn’t, and Hop had to know that too otherwise he wouldn’t be doing this.

He was pushing back, in as little a way as possible, this was just some final attempt from Hop at being cruel to Leon and biting back at a him. This wasn’t part of their deal. The deal was Leon was supposed to come down tomorrow and pick him up at the station. Nowhere in their agreement did Leon ever say he could have two weeks.

The messages stared back at him on his phone, except this time the little read message never popped up, so Leon hoped that meant his brother really was in bed, sick as a dog. At least, he better hoped he was. Hop better hoped he was as sick as Mum made him out to be, because if Leon found out he’d been faking—he tossed the phone down on the cushion next to him, watching it bounce before lying screen up.

Fine. If Hop was going to play this game, then fine. Let him. Let him think he was getting away with something, if he were faking that is. Let him force Leon to wait another week, let him get by with doing this, because Leon might just go back on his promise too. After all, Hop was blatantly breaking his part of the bargain, so why should Leon spare the same for him? The moment he got Hop through that door, he was going to lock it, spare him no patience, no more sympathy, and he would fuck him as rough as he wanted.

His throat tightened at the thought of that, pushing Hop down on his bed, covering his mouth to shut him up when he would no doubt protest against him, when he would try to plead with Leon, but he was sick of trying to make excuses for him anymore. Hop may have been shy, but he was playing dirty, doing this.

Leon leaned his head back, trying to quell the anger bubbling inside of him as he fought to calm down and not do something he regretted.

Well. He took a breath before letting it out. He could play dirty too.

* * *

Friday came and went, just as the weekend did. It was no secret that Leon had essentially been stood up and as angry as he had been about it, having Raihan there made it a bit more bearable to handle. His friend had been at his place all weekend, insisting Leon drink beer with him while they snacked on chips and watched the telly. Not the way Leon had wanted to spend his weekend, but he couldn’t deny having Raihan there for him like this put his mind at ease a little more. He’d teased him about it first, only infuriating Leon further, but over time, once he’d drank enough alcohol and numbed his mind, his anger was slowly dying away.

He didn’t know what he might’ve ended up doing if Raihan hadn’t been there to fill the void, and he was grateful to his friend for spending the whole weekend with him and allowing him that small luxury to get his mind off his brother. The only times Leon had looked at his phone were becoming less and less frequent as Hop never did reply to any of his messages, but over time, Leon was starting to care less about that. Maybe that was a good thing, because if he got Hop engaged in conversation on the phone with him, Leon knew he wouldn’t be able to stop.

Still. The beginning of the week was yet another drag, another monotonous drag Leon was forced to deal with, but by that time, he had calmed down considerably, no longer having the urge to fly down and steal his brother away like before. While he was still cross as all hell with him about this, he tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, even though he didn’t deserve it. Hop had wrung his patience dry at this point, and Leon was running out of sympathy to spare him, running out of remorse at the idea of fucking him the moment they got to the apartment. If Hop insisted on making him wait another week, of course he was going to be insatiable come next Friday.

But, Leon let out a sigh through his nose that Tuesday evening, having gone through the past few days in more of a stupor than anything. Just like Hop to come up with something like this. He had to admit, his brother had balls to do this to him, which he commended him for. But, they both knew he wouldn’t be able to fake his way out of two weeks in a row, not with Mum already being on board to send him on his way like this. She would start getting suspicious if Hop came down with another illness so soon, but Leon could worry about that Friday.

Pulling out his phone, he shot his mum a quick text as he walked home, asking how Hop was doing. Not as fast as Raihan, but still pretty speedy, Mum wrote him back, sending abut ten smiley emojis with her.

_‘Hey sweetie! :D he’s ok. Still low grade fever but doing much better!!’_

Low grade, huh? Leon snorted through his nose at that. He felt compelled to write back, whatever you say, good on you for believing that nonsense, but he held back, instead opting for a ‘ _that’s good_ ’ reply. Calm and casual. Casual and rational. He had to remember to stay neutral when talking to Mum so she didn’t get suspicious of him, even though it took every fiber of his being not to scream back at her that she was being played like a fiddle for believing these lies.

His apartment was rather empty when he returned home that night. Both in a literal sense, as Leon was the only occupant most of the time, but just— He tossed his keys on the table before flopping down on the couch and bouncing his leg restlessly. Despite the setback, he had done so good at keeping the apartment spick and span, always making sure he cleaned up after himself, always making sure to wipe down the counters and clean out his shower after every use. A little excessive, maybe, but it was one of the few things left he had to keep his mind off Hop and to control the urges to go steal him away already.

Still, Leon had been sleeping on the couch every night, and realized at this point, it had been weeks since he slept in his own bed, but that was okay. Hop may have forced him to wait another week, but it was all going to be worth it. Leon was built up, and despite how much he wanted to, he hadn’t even touched himself the past week, wanting to save it all for Hop, wanting to show him how badly Leon missed him, how excited he would get for him. It was just yet another delayed gratification and maybe Leon was taking things too far by refusing himself the right to sleep in his own bed, the denial of his own orgasm, but _dammit_. He knew the longer he waited, the more worth it it would be, the better it would feel when he finally indulged in all those things.

Flipping over his phone one last time, he saw the messages he sent Hop last Thursday and couldn’t help but frown. The _read_ message had popped up a few days ago, letting him know Hop had at least read them, but still, there was no reply. Each time he tried to call him, he was met with an automatic voicemail, and he wanted so badly to call Mum to tell her let him talk to Hop, but she would just question why he couldn’t call his phone himself, and that was a whole other can of worms Leon wasn’t willing to open.

So, he settled for flopping down on the couch, numbing his mind by watching the news (that cold front was still pushing through by this point), until he eventually fell asleep.

* * *

That Friday couldn’t have come more slower if it tried. From the moment he awoke, Leon decided he would take the day off work and head straight for the train station. It wouldn’t really matter if he took off or not, as the people there were generally understanding especially when it came to family issues. Not that Leon had told them anything other than he had family affairs to attend to. Nobody pried.

The early morning air was crisp with winter, the clouds in the sky above threatening to let loose with snow any minute, and Leon could see his breath puffing out as he huddled into his coat, tightening his scarf around his neck to keep the coldness at bay for as long as he could. This was hopefully going to be fast and easy. He’d take the train ride down, which lasted an hour at the most, meet up with Hop at the Wedgehurst station, they would pack his bags on the train, and ride back to Wyndon, all before lunchtime even had a chance to come around.

Well.

Hop didn’t know he was coming this early. As much as Leon wanted to take Charizard out of his pokeball and fly down there, considering it would be much faster, it was also freezing, and if he thought he was cold now, flying through the air would guarantee he’d arrive with icicles hanging down his face and possibly frostbite to boot. Though Leon honestly didn’t care how frozen he got, as he wanted to get to Hop as soon as possible, he knew he had jumped the gun and was way too early. Hop probably wasn’t going to expect him until the evening time, and he was already headed into the station, purchasing a ticket, and sitting down in the nice warm train as it took off.

It wasn’t like he’d been able to sleep the night before, too nervous and excited for today to finally get here. It felt like he’d been waiting _years_ for today, especially after being forced to wait yet another week after the initial date (and he was still bitter about that). Leon still wasn’t convinced Hop had actually been sick and he planned to call him out on it when he saw him.

The train ride was uneventful at the most, Leon dozing every now and then as he’d probably maxed about two hours of sleep at the most that night. Trying his best not to fall asleep, he ended up pulling out his phone from his pocket before texting Hop.

_‘Hey I’ll be in Wedgehurst in about forty minutes. Meet me there.’_

Send.

No reply came, not that Leon expected one, but he waited. And waited. And just for good measure, waited some more, until about ten minutes passed. The little _read_ message never popped up to let him know Hop saw the message, but he was growing impatient, wishing his brother would give him at least _some_ confirmation. Though, he knew it was because it was still early and Hop was probably asleep.

Swallowing, Leon tapped his name to call him, placing the phone next to his ear and swore through his teeth when the dial tone rang only once before going straight to voicemail. Was the phone turned off or did he actually have him blocked? Either one was pissing him off, but if he found out Hop had his number blocked, it wasn’t like it would matter in an hour or so.

Letting out a grumble of discontent, Leon leaned back in his seat, unwrapping his scarf from his neck as it had gotten a little too toasty on the train for him to be layered up so much, but he continued playing on his phone, wondering if he should text Raihan or not. At least for some kind of social interaction to put his nerves at ease. Well, if he got into a conversation with Raihan, he would probably never hear the end of it, so he opted to scroll social media instead and spent the rest of the train ride looking at status updates from the gym leaders.

When the train came to a halt, Leon was on his feet in seconds, his heart racing, sweat prickling at the back of his neck despite the chilling cold once he stepped off into the station, and he half expected to see Hop sitting on the bench waiting for him, but wasn’t all too surprised when after a quick scan of the station, found his brother to be nowhere in sight. Yanking his phone from his pocket, Leon pulled up his text message from before, his heart thumping when the little _read_ sign was there. So, Hop had seen his message, but where was he?

He tapped his name, swearing out a string of obscenities when it sent him to voicemail. Dammit, every time that happened, he grew more and more irritated at his brother for blocking him. That had to be the reason he couldn’t get him on the phone, right? But, the reason Hop was still seeing his text messages, it was obvious he was trying to ignore him.

Postwick was only a short walk away, and after wrapping his scarf around his neck again, Leon took off in a huff down the pathway just outside of Wedgehurst. It’s was cold as hell, only fueling his annoyance the longer he walked, but that in itself was keeping him warm, and it was no time that he found himself in front of the house yet again, feeling as though he had spent a lifetime away instead of two weeks. Leon wasted no time in knocking on the door. It was only about nine in the morning. Plenty of time for Mum and Hop to be out of bed and rummaging around, but despite his rather quiet knocks, nobody came to greet him.

Hissing through his teeth, Leon tried the handle, surprised as hell when the door opened, and he let himself in. “Mum?” He dipped his head into the kitchen, then the sitting room, but found his mother nowhere in sight. “Hop?” It was much warmer in the house, which made it easier for Leon to go right ahead and let himself in, closing the door behind him. This was his home too after all, he didn’t know why he felt the need to be invited inside before he just—walked in?

The house was eerily quiet and he wondered for a moment if everyone was still asleep, but Mum wouldn’t go to bed without locking the front door at least. Unless she forgot, but Leon couldn’t see his mother doing something that careless. When it became apparent nobody was downstairs, Leon began to climb the staircase, a little put off by how quiet it was in the house. Maybe he really had come too early and everyone was asleep, but as he ascended the stairs, his ears picked up the faintest of sounds coming from his brother’s room.

With his heart pounding, becoming a sound so much louder than it normally was, Leon wasted no more time before he was in front of Hop’s door, and he practically slammed the door open when he pulled it open, his face flushed from the cold, and his nerves so bundled down into his stomach that he was sure he might vomit.

There was Hop. Seated at his desk, appearing to have been watching a video on his phone, but he dropped it the moment Leon entered, the phone clattering to the ground in a sound that felt as though it were ear-shattering, but Leon couldn’t stop looking at his face. That face he had missed so fucking much for the past two weeks, the face he’d been dreaming about, his _brother’s beautiful face_ , and he couldn’t help himself. Without warning, without even saying a thing to Hop, he strode across the room, not even reacting when Hop seized up in his chair as he grabbed him by both sides of his face, pulled him close, and kissed him on the mouth. The resistance he felt from Hop was obvious, but he dug his fingers into his face, not really meaning to, but not able to help himself as he kissed him, kissing everyday that he had been forced to go without him, and he pulled Hop closer to him, wishing he would kiss back with as much passion, wishing his brother had missed him as much as he had.

Kissing Hop was like gaining back access to the best drug he had been forced to be apart from, and Leon forgot every little thing he had been annoyed about in that moment. All that mattered was Hop was here, Hop was something corporeal again, and not just a thought in his memories, a dream he would forget upon waking, but something _real_ —something tangible that Leon could touch and taste. And he did. He tasted him as though Hop were a gourmet meal all for him, he inhaled that scent he could smell even from here, the sugary scent, and everything about him drove Leon fucking _wild_. It didn’t matter that Hop had reached up, trying to pry his hands off him, and he could hear the muffled groans of his protests. It didn’t matter that he was pushing against him with his legs, just shy of kicking him away, but—

Leon broke the kiss, sucking in a breath and smiled at Hop when he saw how red his face was, how his lips were shiny from Leon going at him so desperately, and how he started shaking, words failing on him when his mouth quivered open as though to say something, but falling short. He was so beautiful, he was so much more beautiful than Leon ever remembered him being, and he pulled him close again, not able to help himself when he wrapped his arms around him and dug Hop’s face into his chest.

“I missed you.” And _fuck_ , did he mean it. How small Hop was in his arms then, how frail he seemed, how much Leon could feel him trembling against him, but he missed him so much, he was allowing his emotions to take over for him. He didn’t care. Being close to Hop, he wanted to stay here forever just holding him like this, being close to him where the rest of the world didn’t matter. All that mattered was Hop breathing into him like this, that sugary scent on him, his trembling small body, and Leon loved him so very much that he wouldn’t trade something like this for the world.

Not his title.

Not his notoriety.

Nothing.

All that mattered was how much he loved his brother.

Finally, after holding Hop in his arms for what felt like hours, he could hear the smallest sounds of his brother’s voice seep out below him. “Wh…what are you doing here?”

“Duh, I came to pick you up.” He pulled away from the hug, not able to contain the smile on his face, even though Hop was looking at him in confusion.

“I thought you weren’t coming until later tonight.”

Leon huffed, some of his forgotten annoyances being brought back, but even those couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. “Maybe if you bothered to answer the phone once in awhile, you would realize I’ve been trying to call you all morning.” Speaking of his phone, Leon glanced down at Hop’s discarded phone on the ground and took a moment to pick it up, seeing that his brother had been watching gym challenger videos. He’d recognize the screaming face of Raihan anywhere, and couldn’t help the grimace he made at the fact his brother was watching videos like this, but couldn’t even be bothered to shoot him back a text message.

Hop didn’t respond, even when he handed him his phone back, but Leon could tell by his expression alone that he was guilty. So, he had been ignoring him, after all, but as much as he wanted to give him hell for it right now, Leon was still too happy and decided he could let it slide.

“Alright, let’s get going.” Standing straight, he scanned the room in search of any bags and luggage, but all he could seem to find was Hop’s small gym bag lying by the foot of his bed. Surely, that wasn’t the only packing he had done, right?

Hop stood out of the chair, clutching at his phone and holding it close to his chest as he gave Leon a worried look. “Wait, right now?”

“Yeah. You’ve had—let’s see.” Leon counted off his fingers, giving Hop a lidded look while his mouth curled to the side. “Two entire weeks to prepare. One week longer than we previously discussed.”

“I got sick. Wasn’t my fault.”

“Sure.” He couldn’t help but roll his eyes as he still didn’t buy that one damn bit. “Let’s say you got sick, you were so sick that you took days to recover. You still had plenty of time to pack, Hop.” Leon didn’t blink as he narrowed his eyes. “Unless you haven’t been packing? I’m curious, what were you up to this whole time then?”

The color drained from Hop’s face, even without Leon having directly accused him of anything, he looked guilty of _something_. “I…” His voice failed, but Leon shrugged before cutting him off.

“Good thing I came to fetch you early, right? I can help you pack. I don’t mind.” Not bothering to wait for a response, Leon grabbed the gym bag from Hop’s bed, noting how nervous he looked then, sweat beading on his forehead and his eyes wide, but he didn’t stop him as Leon strode around his room, opening his drawers to pack underwear, socks, and the like. “Where’s Mum?”

“Sh-shopping.” Hop’s voice quivered, and Leon looked up after shoving clothes into the bag, giving Hop a hard stare. He was frozen. Standing and staring back at Leon, but frozen like a deer in headlights.

“Something on your mind, Hop?”

He swallowed, and Leon watched as his eyes lowered, his grip on his phone tightening as his palms began to shake. “C-can’t this wait? I-I don’t want to go just yet.”

“No.” All he had done the past two weeks was fucking _wait_ , and yet here Hop was, wanting him to wait even longer. Though riding high and happy to see his brother, Leon could feel the horrible emotions tugging at him when he couldn’t help but think as to why Hop was doing this. Difficult. Always so fucking difficult. “You’ve had two weeks. Whatever you needed to do should already be done. I’m tired of waiting, Hop.”

“I just…” Hop trailed off, wringing his hands in and out as he fought to say whatever it was he had to say, but eventually his gaze trailed downward, and he couldn’t even look at Leon anymore.

He tossed a pair of socks into the bag before crossing his arms. “You just what?”

“C-can we—I mean. Lee, please, there has to be something else I can do.”

He blinked, not sure he understood. “What do you mean?”

“Let me just—” Hop’s cheeks gushed red and he continued nervously playing with his phone, still refusing to look Leon in the eye. “Can’t you stay the weekend instead? W-we can just stay here.”

Was he…seriously trying to bargain with Leon yet _again_? The frown came upon his face the moment those words left his brother’s mouth, and Leon sucked in a gulp of air before letting out a huge sigh. Difficult. Fucking difficult as usual. “I’m done making deals with you, Hop. You don’t ever want to follow through on your end, but you’re asking more and more from me every time you see me.”

Hop’s head shot up, finally staring back at Leon, but before he could open his mouth to protest, Leon cut him off.

“We’re going to Wyndon. Right now.” He stepped closer, noting how Hop seized up once again, shoulders bunching as he took a step back, his backside pressing against his desk. “But, if you’re so set on making bargains, then I can always give you my previous offer.” He smiled. “We either leave right now, pack your things on the train, and have a nice ride back to the apartment. I cook you a hot meal, help you get settled in, you can watch all the telly you want, have all the internet you want and sleep for as long as you want in your own room tonight, or—” The moment he leaned into Hop, watching as his eyes grew wide with fear, backed so far against his desk that there was nowhere left for him to go, but Leon pressed his body up against his, pushing his face into Hop’s so close that their noses almost touched, his eyes never once leaving his brother’s. “I drag you there. You protest all you want, you yell all you want, you kick and scream all you want, Hop, but I promise you the second I get you into my apartment, you’re coming to my room and I’ll keep you in there for as long as I want and I’ll do to you _whatever I want_.”

Despite it being meant only as a threat, Leon was getting excited at the idea. It had been too long he had touched himself, wanting to save it for Hop, too long since he’d given himself the luxury of sleeping in his own bed, and he was so, so starved for touch right now. For Hop’s touch, for his brother to just— _put his fucking hands on him already_ , and before he could stop himself, he bucked up against Hop, sending him rearing back against his desk where he lost his balance for a moment, only to catch himself before giving Leon a wide-eyed look. Being this close to him, so close after being forced to spend two agonizing weeks away from him—Leon was losing himself to his insatiable desire.

“L-Lee…” Hop didn’t realize it, but every time he called him that, it made Leon all the more excited, and he couldn’t help but close the distance between them and kiss him again, throwing Hop off guard before he could turn away from him. It wasn’t as long nor as passionate as his previous kiss had been, but Leon was so starved for his brother. He broke the kiss only to grip hold of Hop’s collar to keep him in place long enough that Leon could dig his face into the side of his neck, inhaling his scent and feeling as though he were actually getting high off it.

“I missed you.” He was desperate. “I missed you so much, Hop. For you to stand here and say things like that to me, it breaks my heart.” Hop had no idea, absolutely no idea how insane he made Leon, how starved he was for his contact after being away from him for so long, and how insatiable he was. Before he could stop himself, he had placed his mouth against Hop’s neck, sucking, wanting to mark him for the world to see, and the gasp Hop made only fueled him to suck harder, hoping to make as many hickeys as he could, to make up for the week Hop was supposed to be in Wyndon with him.

“W-wait, Lee—” Hop’s voice choked in his throat when Leon reached down, cupping his brother through his pants, and he felt the resistance in Hop’s body as he backed up against the desk, knocking over a few books that had been stacked upright in the corner. “D-don’t—I’m sorry, I’ll—Don’t do this right now.”

“It’s okay.” Honestly, even though he had wanted to wait until Hop was in the apartment with him, he couldn’t stop himself. It was Hop’s fault for making him wait so long like this, getting him riled up. How else could he hope to control himself? It wouldn’t be a big deal to get him off right now. He wondered if Hop touched himself at all the past two weeks, or if he waited like Leon had. Even now, as he pushed against Hop’s rather feeble attempts to shake him off, he was already getting hard, just by the mere contact, just by the mere thought of having Hop right here for him, and Leon was starting to give into his lust. It had been too long, but it was all Hop’s fault.

“Lee, stop—” Hop choked again when Leon pulled him out of his pants, gripping hold of his brother’s cock and bending down until he was on his knees.

“Quiet. Hop, just let me—” He was hard, Leon was already hard, and he knew Hop had to see it too, but he couldn’t control himself. “Just let me do this real quick.” Just really fast, that’s all he was asking for, just a small sliver of gratification.

“Lee…” When Hop reached down to grip hold of his roots, an effort Leon could tell was to try and pull him off, but it only fueled him to wrap his whole mouth around Hop until he really was sucking in air, gasping, Leon wanted this so bad, and he couldn’t wait. He’d already waited long enough, what was indulging a little now going to hurt?

“Just relax.” He rolled back off Hop long enough to speak, but just as quickly wrapped his mouth back around him, and it elated—absolutely fucking elated him when Hop, despite pulling at his hair, got hard so fast. Maybe he really had gone without, just like Leon had done. That made him happy to think maybe his brother was putting this off too in order to wait for him, but it was so obvious as he sucked, bobbing up and down, that Hop hadn’t done anything to himself in a long while. His precum was already leaking out, Leon lapping it up as though it were the most delicious thing he’d ever tasted. Having Hop get off only made him harder, and even though he didn’t want to risk fucking Hop in the house like this, as badly as he wanted to, he knew he would be okay if he were to just jerk off afterward. Maybe Hop would let him thrust against his leg. Hell, as long as he was making contact with him in some kind of way, Leon knew he would get off easily.

But he was desperate. Desperate in the way he sucked his brother, and even with Hop’s fingers in his hair, pulling at his roots, he could hear the moans his brother was trying so hard to stifle, taste the precum leaking and he knew he was enjoying this, no matter how much he might protest or deny it, Leon knew right now, right here, Hop was loving this. Leon couldn’t help to touch himself through his pants as he sucked, the sounds of Hop’s moans only fueling him, and he might get off too fast if he were to do that, but Leon couldn’t take it anymore. It had been too long he denied himself this, and with Hop right here, moaning and trembling in his mouth, even to the point Leon was sure he was beginning to thrust into him, he wanted to get off too.

When Hop squeezed his hair, causing Leon to wince, but he didn’t dare bite—his brother thrust into his mouth, letting out a gasping moan as he came. It only made Leon grip himself harder through his pants, sure he was about to come as well, but he focused on swallowing Hop’s cum, all too glad to do that for him, make sure that he was just as clean before he had started, and he pulled off him, a shiny sheen of saliva coating Hop’s cock. He smiled up at him, enjoying the way Hop’s flushed face looked. If only he knew how badly seeing him like that turned him on, Leon would—

“Hop—?”

That small sound that came from the bedroom door made Leon freeze and bolt upright, whirling around from his spot on the floor to turn around. In that moment, that tiny moment that seemed like it lasted years, time seemed to stop.

Mum stood in the doorway, hand glued to the handle, her eyes wide as she stared at the two of them, Hop leaned up against his desk, still erect and face flushed from having just orgasmed, and Leon, propped onto his knees, his erection obvious through his pants. There was no denying what they had been doing, and Leon felt all the blood drain from his face at the sight of their mother standing there, frozen in shock as she stared at them with wide eyes, and none of them moved for what felt like the longest time. His brain had all but shut off.

Then, Hop spoke, his voice breathy, barely a gasp, but audible enough that Leon could hear as he called out to her. “M-Mum…”

The moment that time stopped, everything frozen, everything stilted and unmoving, vanished as soon as it happened, and then everything sped up, playing in fast motion, before Leon could even react, Mum had moved from the door, crossing the room in a fraction of a second before pulling him off of his brother by the roots of his hair, causing him to stumble and fall. He expected a barrage of slaps, or kicks, but he was frozen in confusion when Mum moved to Hop, having gotten Leon out of the way, and slapped him.

Still in shock, unable to move enough to right himself back up, Leon could only watch in horrified silence as their mother unleashed on Hop, slapping him over and over, even after he had both arms up over his face, screaming at her to stop, Mum’s own screams muddled with his until it was a wish wash of loud sounds coming from both ends, coupled with the sounds of Mum’s hands slapping Hop again and again. Hop’s screams, Mum’s screams of just _what the hell was he doing_ , and the sickening sound of flesh being hit continuously, Leon finally remembered to move and scrambled to his feet, towering over Mum as she continued to slap Hop as though he were a rag doll, his only defense against her being his arms over his head to protect himself with.

In one swift movement, as he was much bigger than her, Leon wrapped his mother up in his arms, pulling her away from his brother. “Mum!” He found his voice, much louder than he had meant for it to come forth, but even if she was his mother, he wasn’t going to stand by and let her hurt Hop. He yanked her off of him, even as Hop cowered, hunching over into himself, still exposed from the waist down, but he was shrunken into himself, hands held high above his head in case she came back at him again.

With Mum in his arms, flailing around like a wild animal, Leon had to fight to keep her still, as she screamed and clawed at him, now turning the rage on him and scratching at his arms, rolling her head from side to side as she screamed at him, kicking and thrashing. Even though he knew he was much stronger than her, Leon didn’t think he would be able to keep her away from Hop for long, as she seemed to be focusing her rage at him for some reason. In one quick movement, one Leon didn’t mean to do, he turned with Mum still squished in his arms, and pushed her as hard as he could toward the front of the door so that Leon was now in between her and Hop. He stood in front of his brother, prepared to fight her off if he had to. Even if she was his mum, Leon wasn’t going to stand there and watch her hit him like that.

“Mum, are you crazy?!” Leon was breathing heavy, trying to compose himself, and face flushed as he realized he was still hard, but more importantly, kept his body between Hop and Mum in case she went after him again. He stared at her, bending his knees slightly in a defensive stance should she charge at him, but to his surprise, she back up against the doorframe, her hand coming up to cover her mouth, tears welling in her eyes.

“I knew it.” Her voice was cracking as though she were on the verge of hysterics. “I knew something was going on between you two! I knew Hop was acting strange, I-I knew it. I _knew_ something was wrong.”

Heart pounding so loud it was as if it were the only sound then, Leon watched as his mother broke down crying, and his throat tightened up at the sight of it. There was nothing he could think to say in this moment that would try to convince her this was a big misunderstanding. She hadn’t seen that right—her eyes were playing tricks—she had just walked in at the wrong moment—

Nothing. Leon’s mind was blank. His only solace was his slowing dying lust as his desire and erection disappeared where he stood.

He had been caught, and he fought to keep his composure under control. This was it. This was the moment he feared, that Mum was going to call him a monster, kick him out of the house, and he would never see his brother again, he would never—

“How long have you two been doing this?”

Leon’s voice caught in his throat and he could only swallow. The sounds of Hop breathing shallow and quick came from behind him, but as much as he wanted to throw his arms around his brother and shield him, he merely stood there, still preparing in case she came at them again. A million and one thoughts were running through his head, mainly about how he was fucked—he was absolutely fucked right now. Mum was going to take Hop away from him, if Leon didn’t snap and steal him away from her first. He could do it, he knew that. He could take everything right now, it didn’t matter if this was Mum or not, he wasn’t about to let her separate him from—

“Mum…” Hop’s voice came again, still shaking, but now coated with a sob that was threatening to bubble out at any moment. “Mum, please—”

Her face fell, and she didn’t even look at him, at either of them. “You need to leave. Right now. Both of you.”

Leon froze, not daring to move, but he could hear Hop choke on his sob from behind him.

“Mum! _Mum_ , _please_!”

Leon’s hands balled into fists at the sounds of his brother’s voice cracking like that, how close to breaking down he sounded, and he wanted to throttle his mother for standing there and not even having the decency to look at them.

“You heard me. Out. Right now.”

“ _MUM!_ ” Hop’s voice broke, and as hard as it was for Leon to stand there, hold himself steady, and resist the urge to turn around and hold him, his heart ripped hearing his brother break into sobs like that. There was nothing he could do as he watched Mum, having not held her head up once since refusing eye contact, turn and disappear around the corner, the sound of her footsteps echoing down the stairs. She couldn’t even bear to look at them.

It ended just as quickly as it started.

Leon let out several shaky breaths, not realizing he had started trembling standing there, but when he was sure Mum wasn’t going to come back and invoke her wrath anymore, he turned on his brother, his heart falling when he saw Hop still leaned up against his desk, hands shakily trying to keep a grip, his pants still bunched around his thighs where Leon had gone at him earlier. His face was red, bright red, eyes glazed as a continuous string of tears fell down, dripping off his chin, but he didn’t look at Leon.

“Hop…” He finally moved, closing the distance between him and his brother. Placing a hand on his shoulder, he gave him a gentle squeeze, but Hop didn’t react at all. “Hop, come on, let’s go.” The faster they got out of this house, the better. Leon didn’t want to think of what Mum would do if they dallied, but Hop remained unmoving, his eyes glued to the space where Mum had been only moments ago, and his lip quivered the more he shook.

“M-Mum…” His voice was little more than a whisper, but when Leon realized his brother wasn’t going to move, he moved for him, reaching out to grip hold of his pants and pulled them back up, hiding his decency. Hop didn’t react, but stood shaking from his spot, giving Leon enough time to straighten and clip his pants back in place.

Hop never moved, only continued shaking and breathing heavy, and even though Leon was shaking as well, his heart thumping in his ears as sweat prickled the back of his neck, he shook himself out of his stupor enough to grab Hop’s bag, and threw as many clothes as he could possibly fit inside. The rest of his things didn’t matter. Leon had money. If they needed anything, all he had to do was buy it once they got to Wyndon.

After grabbing his brother’s laptop, his phone, and anything else he could get his hands on that would fit into his bag in that room, Leon threw the strap around his shoulder before gripping hold of Hop’s sleeve, tugging him along. He hadn’t moved the entire time Leon packed, and he was still frozen in place, his tears having fallen stagnate at some point, but his cheeks were glistened bright with fresh streaks.

“Hop.” He tugged harder. “Let’s go.”

His brother didn’t move, nor make any attempt to move.

Leon swallowed. They had wasted enough time here, and if he had to face Mum again knowing they had already taken enough time as it was, Leon didn’t want to risk hurting her if it meant protecting his brother. She was his mother after all. He wasn’t sure why she chose to go after Hop like she did, as Leon suspected maybe she had walked in and assumed Hop was the one who instigated it, but even from where he stood, tugging Hop’s sleeve to try and bring back some life into him, he couldn’t contain the anger bubbling down inside when he could see scratches on his brother’s face. Faint, but still there, and Leon feared how angry he would get if he developed bruises because of her. Nobody, not even his mother, was allowed to hurt Hop like this.

“ _Hop_.” His voice lowered. “It’s time to go.”

When he reached out and grabbed his wrist, that seemed to have sparked a bit of life in him, and, though his gaze was cast downward, stray tears falling every once in awhile, Hop slowly leaned off the edge of his desk, following after Leon as he led them down the stairs. He feared running into Mum again, but wherever she had taken off to, she wasn’t downstairs for them to meet.

Hand still wrapped around Hop’s wrist, Leon tugged him along, wishing Hop’s steps weren’t so heavy and slow, but he couldn’t blame him either. He just wanted to get to the station and away from here as quickly as possible, back to the safety of his apartment. Once they were outside the house, Hop walked behind him with a bit more gusto, but not as much as Leon would have preferred. He wasn’t resisting him, but he was walking as though trudging through sludge, and it made Leon want to pick him up and carry him to make up for the loss of speed.

But, he didn’t do that.

Hop hadn’t said a word since they left the house, and Leon never let go of his wrist as he pulled him along behind him, hoping if he walked a bit faster then Hop would catch up with him. It only worked for a short distance, but Hop’s steps became slower the moment they reached the station. Not even the cold could make Hop walk faster to get towards the warmth, but they were here, cold, tired, and already worn out, but they were here.

“Take this.” Before they boarded the train, Leon unhooked his scarf from around his neck, wrapping it around Hop who didn’t move, but Leon could see him shivering as he hadn’t gotten to grab him anything proper to wear. He was just trying to get out of the house anyway, and anything he might need later, Leon could just buy it for him. But for now, he didn’t mind shedding some of his layers if it meant Hop got to be warm.

His brother stood there, wrapped in a bit more warmth enough that he stopped shivering, but he didn’t look up at Leon. Head held low, his brother stared straight ahead with a faraway look in his eyes, not focusing on anything, but Leon had never seen his brother look so lifeless before. It broke his heart, but there was little he could do as they crossed the threshold, encased in the warmth of the train, and he had to tug Hop along like a child to their seats, dropping the luggage underneath the table before Leon got him settled down into the seat. He let Hop have the window seat, as he figured being against the wall and Leon would give him more warmth, but he gave his brother a gentle squeeze on his wrist as the train began to push off.

“Hey.” Another gentle squeeze, but Hop didn’t look at him, or react at all. All he did was breathe slowly, eyes glazed and unfocused on the table. “It’ll be okay. Don’t worry about Mum.” It might not have mattered to say things like that now, but Leon didn’t know any other way to comfort him. He reached up to drag his knuckle across one of Hop’s more prominent scratches on his cheek. “I’m sorry she hurt you.”

Hop said nothing, didn’t even flinch when he touched him, but the only signs of life from him were the occasional spills of tears falling from his eyes. It hurt Leon to see his brother reduced to this, wishing it hadn’t happened the way it did, wishing Mum hadn’t walked in on them. Fuck, if he had been more careful—he thought Hop said she was out shopping, when the hell did she sneak into the house without him realizing? He should have been more careful, Hop shouldn’t have to go through it this way.

Not sure what else to do then, as the train began to pull away from Wedgehurst, the smallest flakes of snow falling against the window, Leon took hold of his brother’s hand, linking his fingers between his and giving him a squeeze. “Hop, it’s going to be okay, I promise.” Then, as quietly as he could, he leaned into him, enough to catch the scent of sugar from his hair. “I love you.”

Gently, almost unnoticeably so, Leon felt his brother squeeze his hand back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the love and support. It means the world to me. ;-; I’ll see you guys later! :D


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS FIC HAS SOME AMAZING FANART please check it out!!!
> 
> https://twitter.com/swizzleda/status/1220008236876693505?s=21 (By swizzled)
> 
> https://twitter.com/thechicachi/status/1220537288075239424?s=21 (By chicachi) 
> 
> Omg please go show them some love, both pieces are absolutely beautiful ;-;

It was just shy of lunchtime by the time Leon and Hop arrived back in Wyndon. The snow had gone from a light flurry to a heavier dusting, and was already sticking to the ground when they exited the station. It was generally a lot cooler in Wyndon to begin with, but Leon couldn’t help the little grumble of annoyance he made as he and Hop made their way into the hustle and bustle of the streets.

Hop hadn’t said a word the entire train ride over, nor made much of any movements aside from clutching onto Leon’s hand. Despite how much he hated seeing his brother like this, Leon couldn’t help but feel a flutter in his chest at the fact Hop was holding onto him. Even as they walked down the street, crowds of people running this way and that, Hop never let go of his hand the entire time. It made Leon only want to hold onto him that much more, and he didn’t shy away from clutching his hand back all the more tighter, noting how as they walked, Hop wasn’t trudging and dragging like he had been before, but he would not look up, least of all at Leon.

All he could think was how badly he wanted to get to his apartment, out of the cold, away from the crowds, and allow Hop the time he would undoubtedly need to settle in. Leon wondered, what was something he could do for him? Having their mum erupt into a breakdown was one thing, but watching her slap and beat Hop like that—Leon bit his bottom lip. It was still preying on his mind, the more he thought about it, but it was over and done with. Poor Hop, having to be the one to take the hits that should have been for Leon.

He gulped as they rounded the corner, shivering a little when the wind blew and he remembered he no longer had his scarf, as he had given it to Hop. Those slaps should have been for him, he knew that, he knew he was the one who had instigated that entire ordeal, but for Mum to go after Hop—it was worrying him. For one, he figured the moment Mum caught them, he would be banished from the house, Hop would be taken away from him, and he would never be welcome back there ever again, but—

Why?

It wasn’t like he was doing anything wrong with Hop, because after all, he’d only ever shown him he loved him and cared about him. Nobody else was going to understand, since they were brothers and all. It was taboo to love your brother the way Leon did, he knew that, but he also didn’t care. If people wanted to think he was disgusting, let them. Let Mum think he was disgusting too, but he never wanted that to fall onto Hop’s shoulders the way it did. Mum should have beaten _him_ , not his brother. She should have directed that rage at Leon, because he knew he was the one at fault for instigating this. He knew he started this whole thing.

But, that didn’t matter. He wasn’t going to apologize to Hop for being in love with him. It wasn’t fair that Mum went after him like she did, and if Leon could go back in time, he would have pushed himself between them long before Mum even thought about touching Hop, and taken the brunt of the punishment himself—but, he wasn’t sorry for what he did. He wasn’t sorry for loving Hop, for wanting him all to himself, for wanting to prove to Hop that he loved him and would do anything to protect him.

And he wasn’t sorry for holding onto his hand, feeling his brother trembling as the cold wind blew, as he tugged him along down the street until his apartment finally came into view. In a fucked up kind of way, Leon was a little…glad things turned out like this. As horrible as it was, with Hop and himself being banished from the house, Hop had nowhere to turn to, nobody to go live with, other than Leon. It wasn’t like he planned for things to turn out this way, but having Hop come to live with him for an undisputed amount of time made him happier than he cared to admit.

Hop could live with him for as long as he wanted. Leon didn’t mind. He didn’t mind if this was a permanent affair, that Hop lived with him until he turned eighteen, or even long after that, Leon didn’t care one bit. As he clutched his brother’s hand tighter in his, now coming upon his apartment complex building, he couldn’t help the small smile he made. Having Hop here with him, no longer living alone, no longer having to think about how worried he was about Hop being so far away from him— _because he was here right now_ —he was happy. Leon was so happy that his chest was warm, that his entire body was warm all over from these thoughts.

He loved Hop so very much, so, so much that he was beside himself to finally _have him here_.

It was warm inside the building, warm enough that Leon could already feel the faintest hints of sweat bead at the back of his neck. The lobby of his apartment was a little too toasty for his comfort, but he took a moment to glance back at Hop who was starting to drag just a bit, still wrapped in his scarf that he hadn’t once touched since Leon put it around him. He didn’t look up at Leon, or at anything for that matter, but he continued holding onto his hand, and it surprised Leon to see his brother who once got so embarrassed by his touch willingly cling to him like this. It should have made him feel guilty for why exactly that was, as he knew the reason wasn’t some spur of the moment affection, but maybe his brother simply wanted something to hold onto no matter who or what it was.

But, Leon wanted to pretend it was because he was happy to be here with him. He could keep telling himself that, even if he himself didn’t believe it, it didn’t matter.

His room was only on the third floor, but Leon didn’t see the need in renting out the penthouse when he was single. Sure, he had more money than he knew what to do with sometimes, but it felt wasteful to spend it on a luxurious room when he didn’t even need that much space. Maybe some people thought it was weird Leon chose to live in a smaller apartment, but he had everything he needed and could always put his extra money in savings. Or spend it on Hop.

His chest swelled at the thought, the thought of moving to a bigger space to accommodate his brother. Maybe he would be a bit more open to the idea of moving up to the penthouse once he got settled, but that was a conversation for later. Right now, Leon knew his brother was going to need some time and space to himself, especially after what happened that morning.

It was almost surreal how insatiable Leon had been that morning, prepared to steal his brother away, lock him in the apartment, and go at him for as long as he wanted, but Hop had already been through more emotional stress today than anyone should ever have to put up with, and Leon knew, as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t come on so strong after that. Hop was fragile, in a very vulnerable and emotional state, and he was willing to take a step back so that his brother could get accustomed to living here for awhile.

But.

He bit his lip.

It was really hard to make that kind of promise to himself, as he squeezed Hop’s hand tighter and tighter when they took the elevator up until they were on the third floor. It felt like days Leon had been on the train with Hop, walking through the streets with him, shivering in the cold, to finally be standing in front of his door, it felt like a dream he was floating through and not reality. Digging his key from his pocket, Leon unlocked his door, met with the quieted darkness of his apartment, and after releasing Hop’s hand, strode across the room to pull back curtains and allow more light in. Sleeping on his couch for two weeks had made this his temporary bedroom, but now that Hop was here, he wasn’t sure if he even wanted to sleep in his own bed still or keep crashing on the couch.

Tossing his brother’s bag to the floor with a small _‘umf’_ as it had begun to get quite heavy the longer Leon lugged it around, he leaned back up to see Hop still standing in his doorway, not moving, not focused on anything but what appeared to be a spot on the floor. Leon waited for a few seconds, wondering if Hop was just taking his time, but when it became apparent his brother wasn’t going to move, he made his way back toward him.

“Hop?” He placed a hand on his shoulder, a feeling of dread beginning to trickle over him when Hop didn’t react at all. “Why don’t you come sit?”

He didn’t move, or respond at all.

“Come.” Gently as he could, Leon gripped his brother by his arm, ushering him into the room and shutting the door behind him. Hop moved with slow deliberate steps, as though he were walking on ice, but he didn’t speak or make any attempts to look at Leon. Biting his lip, but still being gentle and slow, Leon moved him over to the couch, turning his brother around, and pushed him down until he was seated. With him seated, he took a moment to unravel the scarf from around his neck and fold it next to him. Hop’s blank expression never once changed, even as Leon handed him the remote to the telly, Hop didn’t grab it or even acknowledge that Leon was trying to hand him something.

He felt a little awkward, so he flicked the remote, turning the telly on, and not sure what else to do, changed it to a cartoon station. Hop was too old for shows like this, but Leon didn’t know what else to put on for him, and left it at that, placing the remote on the arm of the couch in case Hop wanted to change the channel himself.

“I’ll go prepare your room for you. Um, there’s sweets in the pantry. You can have anything you want, don’t be afraid to eat something.”

No response from Hop, just that blank, glazed over stare that wasn’t even looking at the telly as over the top sounds from the cartoons droned on in the background. Leon bent over again to grab his bag, shooting Hop a glance before turning the corner down the hallway and opening the guest room.

Once he was inside the guest room, Leon dumping the bag onto the bed before unzipping it, a pile of Hop’s clothes falling out, he let out a long, drawn out sigh. It crushed him to see his brother in this state, but he wasn’t sure what to do. Maybe giving him space was all that Leon _could_ do, but he wished he could scoop him up in his arms, hold him tight, kiss him, and tell him everything would be alright. They didn’t need Mum. Leon knew it was cruel to think of it that way, but he could take care of them. If it was for Hop, Leon didn’t mind spending the money on him, buying him the things he needed, and essentially taking over as a surrogate parent for him if he needed to.

After all, Mum made it pretty clear they weren’t welcome in the house any longer, but Leon honestly could have cared less to be away from that place. With Hop here with him, it was all the better. He could take care of him, feed him, pay his expenses when needed and be there for him when Hop needed him. He knew it was going to be a big adjustment for Hop and he really wished they hadn’t parted ways with their mother like that, but it couldn’t be helped now. It was over and done with, and as awful as it was, Hop was going to have to move on eventually. Maybe Mum would cut off all ties with them, but Leon didn’t really care about that. It hurt him to think it was his fault Hop had gotten hurt like he had, and he didn’t want Hop, as badly as he loved him and wanted to touch him, he never wanted Mum to find them out that way.

Maybe Leon thought through some serendipitous way that he could skate by the rest of his life in secrecy, touching his brother behind closed doors, keeping their romance secret from prying eyes, but getting caught like they had wasn’t exactly the slap in the face he thought it would be. He _knew_ it was taboo, he knew there would be news stories and tabloids if people ever found out the ex champion was in a relationship with his own brother, but even knowing that, it didn’t hurt like he thought it would to be disowned by his mother.

It hurt him for Hop’s sake, because he had wanted his brother to be able to continue having a relationship with Mum, but—

Leon sighed, folding a pair of Hop’s shirts into the dresser, stacking them as neat as he could.

It couldn’t be helped. The more he thought on it, the more he brushed it off, because it was over and done with. Despite that, he wished there was some way he could convince Hop that this wasn’t the end of the world, but he knew being beaten by his own mother like that and kicked out of the house was going to take some time to heal from.

As he placed Hop’s underwear in the top drawer, Leon let out another sigh. As awful as it was to think like this, he was a bit happy things turned out the way they had. Well, maybe not _happy_ , but more so in the sense he was glad Hop was staying with him like this. They didn’t need Mum. Hop certainly didn’t need her if she had the gall to attack him like she did. Every time Leon played that scene over in his head, he grit his teeth in anger. For Mum, for their mother, the person they were supposed to be able to trust and look up to for guidance, for her to do that to his brother, it made him so irrationally angry that Leon almost wanted to fly back down there and give her a piece of what she’d done to Hop.

He closed the drawer, allowing his hands to rest on the edges before he frowned. No. He wouldn’t do that. Not even if she hit him, he couldn’t let his feelings for Hop grow so severe that he hurt their mother because of it. Even if she deserved it. She was still his mum after all.

Hop’s bag was empty, as Leon had run out of things to pack away, and he zipped it back up, folding it and placing it in the closet before he dipped his head out of the door and rounded the corner to see Hop still seated on the couch, not appearing to have moved the entire time Leon had been packing away his things.

“Um.” One glance at the clock told him it was lunchtime, but he felt a little awkward speaking to Hop like this, as he only continued staring straight ahead, but never once moving. It was as though the life were sucked from him and he was only a shell of his former self. “Are you hungry?”

No response. Not even a twitch of movement to let Leon know he was listening.

“I can make anything you want. What would you like, Hop?” He spoke softly and gentle, as gentle as he could to coax his brother into responding.

But, despite his efforts, it didn’t appear Hop was in the mood to engage with him, and only continued to stare on with that spaced out look on his face. Leon sighed, not sure what he could do, or what he should do. Maybe leaving Hop to himself for awhile was the better option, but maybe he needed comfort right now too. Leon probably wasn’t the best option to comfort him, but he felt so helpless just standing there doing nothing.

Crossing the room, he made his way to the couch before seating himself next to Hop. The cushion dipped, causing Hop to shift a little when his weight held it down, but that was the only movement he made.

“Hey.” Reaching over, he ran his hands through the back of Hop’s hair, not able to help but note how soft his hair was. Why did Hop have to have the softest hair? Even Leon’s long hair wasn’t this soft, but he indulged, trying not to get carried away with his thoughts and focused on his brother’s reactions, not that there were much of any. “I know that you’re upset right now. I don’t blame you, but I don’t want you to worry about Mum, okay?”

Then, to Leon’s surprise, Hop finally, after having stayed silent for so long, opened his mouth and spoke in an emotionless, hollow voice. “She hates me.”

Leon stopped stroking his hair. “She doesn’t hate you, Hop.”

“Yes, she does.” It horrified him when Hop, still staring at nothing in particular, began to cry again, his tears falling in silent streams down his face. “I didn’t—I should have—I-I should have tried harder.” His voice cracked as he spoke, and slowly but surely, Leon watched the life begin to flicker back into his eyes, into his body, when Hop drew his face up, looking at the telly, but not watching it.

“Hop.” He gripped his shoulder, squeezing him in reassurance. “It’s not your fault.”

“It is.” More tears fell, but Hop made no movement to wipe them away. They dripped from his chin, plopping onto his lap as he stared straight ahead. “I could have done something.”

“What could you have done? Neither of us knew she was going to react that way.” It still surprised Leon she hadn’t come after him, but he knew in his gut that it was because she probably thought it had been Hop’s idea. He wasn’t about to tell that to him, though. He was already upset enough as it was.

“I could have…” He trailed off, lifting his head until he was gazing up at the ceiling, still with that faraway look on his face, still with a continuous stream of tears falling, but his voice did not waver. He remained motionless, if not for the tears. “I could have gone with you. Then this wouldn’t have happened.”

As much as Leon wanted to agree with him, yes, this entire ordeal could have been avoided if he had just _listened to him_ , he bit his lip. Now wasn’t the time to start telling Hop he had been right this entire time, he knew what he was talking about, but damn did he want to. He wanted so bad to reiterate, tell Hop he was right and he had always been right, but he bit down those words.

“Hop, it’s over and done with. You can’t blame yourself for it, but try not to worry about it. Maybe Mum will come around once she’s over the shock of it, and maybe things will go back to normal.” That was a lie, that was a blatant lie for Hop’s sake, but Leon wanted to say _something_ comforting to him, something reassuring so that his brother would stop worrying about this. The longer he sat next to him, crying in relative silence, his gaze still turned up to the ceiling when he refused to look at anything else, Leon wanted nothing more than to hold him in his arms, hoping that Hop would understand he was loved and this wasn’t the end of everything.

“I’m _so_ _dirty_ , Lee.”

Those words shot through Leon like a bullet, and he froze, hand gripping Hop’s shoulder all the more as he watched Hop finally lower his gaze, turning to him with bloodshot eyes, the tears never once stopping.

“Don’t say that about yourself. You are _not_ dirty, Hop.” He gripped him harder, feeling when Hop’s shoulders began to shake as he cried.

“I am. I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I couldn’t, no matter h-how bad I wanted—and now Mum hates me.”

When his brother’s quieted sniffles slowly began to erupt into sobs, Leon held back no longer and pulled him by his shirt, wrapping his arm around him and pressed his brother’s face into his chest. Hop didn’t pull back or push against him. He allowed it. With Leon’s arms around him, holding him tight, he could feel his brother’s hands grip his shirt from behind when he held him back and cried into his front. Sobbing, with every ounce of his being, Hop sobbed into him, the wails bubbling from his throat as he cried harder than Leon had ever seen him cry before.

He didn’t chastise him for it. He didn’t push him to do anything, but shushed him quietly as Hop wailed, sobbing until his entire body was wracked with it, all of the ugly emotions and feelings expelling from his body. Leon rocked him back and forth, patting the back of his head, rocking him like a child, and held him.

Hop only wrapped his arms around him harder, holding onto him as though Leon would blow away. And through his shaky sobs, his wails, all of the horrible sounds ejecting from his throat, he spoke quietly, but enough that Leon heard. “I-I’m so sorry, Lee. I’m sorry.”

“Shh. You don’t have to apologize for anything.”

“It’s _my fault_ , Lee.”

“Stop it.” He pulled him closer, until Hop was almost in his lap as he lifted him up by his thighs until he was pulled so close, Leon wasn’t sure if he could possibly get closer to him. Hop leaned away only for a moment, in which Leon released him from his arms, but was surprised when Hop drew up, throwing his arms around his neck, and dug his face into Leon’s shoulder to hold him.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” His body shook, wracked with sobs when Leon could feel his tears spilling down onto his neck, but he gently held onto him, allowing Hop anything he might need right now, even if it was to cling to him like this, Leon didn’t mind one bit.

It kind of made him happy, and he couldn’t help the small smile on the corner of his mouth. To be held by Hop like this, to be clung to as though he were Hop’s only source of comfort, and Leon knew he was. He knew he was all Hop had left now, and maybe Hop realized that too, but he held onto him, pulling Hop up until he was sitting in his lap, but Hop never let go of him, only sat there with his arms wrapped around Leon’s neck, crying into him, mumbling apologies over and over.

Rubbing circles onto his back, Leon continued to rock him, trying to shush him as Hop finally began to quiet down, no longer shaking with sobs, but still crying into him.

“Hop, you don’t have to be sorry about anything. It’s going to be okay, I promise you everything will be okay. Try not to worry about what happened, please?”

When Hop leaned off him, having quieted somewhat, but with tears still falling from his face, he looked up at Leon with bloodshot eyes, with tear streaked cheeks and an expression that Leon couldn’t define for the life of him. He wanted to think it was love. He wanted to tell himself Hop was looking up at him with adoration, love, and trust, but he saw the look sunken into his eyes. The way Hop’s sparkle was no longer there, and hadn’t been there for weeks, but Leon smiled at him. As gentle as he could, he smiled at his brother before he pat the top of his head.

“I love you. You believe me, don’t you?”

There was only a slight hesitation before Hop nodded, his eyes casting downward for a brief moment before he looked back up again. Tears spilled from his eyes, but Leon reached up to wipe them away, still giving Hop the most tender smile he could muster in this moment. It broke his heart to see him cry like this, but he could hardly blame him for it.

“It’s not your fault. I love you, I love you so much.” Before he could stop himself, Leon leaned into him, gripping Hop by both arms, and kissed him on the mouth. The salt from his tears stained his lips, but Leon didn’t care. He kissed Hop, hoping that through this, he would understand, he would see, finally, _finally_ see that Leon loved him so much, he didn’t think he could live without him now. That everything Leon ever did, he did because he loved Hop so very much.

It didn’t last nearly as long as he wanted, but Leon pulled back, shivering at the taste of salt on his tongue, and gave Hop another smile.

“It’ll be okay, I promise. I love you.”

Hop nodded, but looked down when he did so. There was a moment Leon felt him stiffen up as he held him in his arms, and it all but crumbled away when he pulled him back, holding onto him, and Hop fell limp. Leon rocked him back and forth as he cradled his brother, the only sounds in the apartment then being the garbled noises of the telly as the cartoons continued to drone on, Leon’s quiet shushing as he rocked, and Hop’s sniffles as he cried and cried in his arms, Leon never once letting him go.

The snow fell from out the window, perched onto the balcony, covering the surface with a thin sheet of white, and all the while, Leon cradled Hop like a child, shushing him when he sniffled, when he cried, but he held onto him for as long as he needed to, as long as Hop needed comfort like this. Leon didn’t mind to hold him all day. All night. For the rest of his life, he didn’t mind to hold Hop if it meant showing him he was loved, and _fuck_ —did Leon love him. He loved him very much, more than anything he had ever loved in his life.

His title meant nothing to him anymore. His fame, his glory—it didn’t matter. As he sat there, patting the back of Hop’s head, rubbing circles onto his back as Hop melted into his arms, not holding back anymore, but not crying as hard as he had been, Leon was happy. He was happy to have him here, to touch him, taste him, shower him with his love, and he wouldn’t trade this for anything.

Nothing mattered anymore.

The only thing that mattered was Hop, and as Leon felt enveloped in his warmth, wishing Hop would hold him back again, he could still smile. Never was there ever a warmth in his chest like this, a warmth for Hop, a warmth he knew was love. Leon loved him so much, he couldn’t contain himself with all of his feelings.

Leaning away for a moment, Leon’s chest swelling with butterflies, he lifted Hop’s face to his by gripping hold of his chin, and kissed him once more. There was no resistance, but only a slight hesitance. When he pulled away, Leon’s cheeks red with blush at the sight of his brother looking up at him with that face— _his beautiful face_ —he smiled.

“I love you. I love you so much, Hop. You mean the world to me.” There was a tenderness settled in his chest that couldn’t be compared with. Nothing in the world made him feel as good as his brother did, even before he lost his title. All the money, all the fame, all the attention—it was so superficial, he couldn’t believe he had ever thought things like that were important to him.

Hop was important. Hop was right here, held in his arms, his face flushed with heat and tears, but he was here with Leon. Hop made him feel alive, as if he were truly living for the first time in his life.

Slowly, Hop downcast his eyes, and let out a small sigh. His voice came, shaken, small, and hesitant, but not silent. “I-I love you too, Lee.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt the need to be a bit kinder to hop but 
> 
> Don’t get used to this lol


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna take this moment to let you guys know how much i appreciate you and your support. It really means the world to me and i could have never imagined people would enjoy this fucked up fic I began writing on a whim one day. 
> 
> Thank you guys so much. You are all so very much appreciated!

Leon managed to coax his brother into eating lunch later that day. It wasn’t long after midday, but enough that lunch was no longer considered lunch, but an afternoon snack by that point, but still, Leon took it upon himself to craft up something in the kitchen while Hop sat on the couch, having curled into himself and was staring at the telly. Every once in awhile Leon would glance up at him from what he was doing in the kitchen, peeking over the counter at him to see Hop, though gaze focused on the telly, didn’t appear to be engage with it at all, but only focused on it for the sake of it. He appeared deep in thought, though there was no way Leon could know what he was thinking, or maybe even not thinking.

He couldn’t help but reach up every so often to touch the spot on his neck, the spot Hop had dug his face into and cried into him. It was dry now, but he swore he still felt Hop’s tears staining his skin, and dabbed at it with his fingers to see if it was still wet. Though the sensation was there, Leon couldn’t help to swallow at thoughts like that, thoughts of Hop climbing into his lap, pulling his face down, and kissing _him_ on the mouth for a change. It was just a reminiscent fantasy, imagining Hop doing those things, because despite how badly Leon wouldn’t mind in the slightest if Hop wanted to do something like that to him, he knew his brother was too shy to ever be forward enough to do it. Though, the more he thought on it, the more he couldn’t help but get excited at the idea of egging his brother on. Maybe if he got him comfortable enough, he could talk him into it one day.

But for now.

Leon sighed, pouring both of them a bowl of ramen noodles before setting them on the table. It was a poor excuse for a lunch, mainly because he himself was starving and couldn’t find anything in his cabinet worth taking the time to cook, so ramen was the next best thing. Quick, easy, and tasty.

Pulling himself a bottle of water from the fridge, he turned back to call at Hop from across the counter. “Lunch is ready if you want to eat.” He didn’t really expect to see Hop pull himself up from the couch before seating himself at the table, but Leon sure wasn’t about to complain about it. He wondered in that two weeks they spent apart, if Hop had continued to refuse food like he had before, or if he had been eating properly. Staring at him now, as Leon sat next to him, his brother still looked as scrawny as ever.

 _Too skinny_ , he thought. What he wouldn’t give to see Hop with a bit more meat on his bones, but if he kept cooking meals like this, maybe Hop would eat a little more and gain some weight. He wasn’t underweight by any means, but Leon knew he was probably worrying too much about him and only wanted to make sure he was eating like he should.

“Sorry it’s not much.” Picking up his fork, Leon began to ravage his lunch, his stomach having been growling for the past hour until it was making him cranky, but as he sat gobbling down his food, he watched Hop from the corner of his eye.

That faraway look was still there, and while Hop picked up his fork and poked at his noodles, he did eventually begin to eat. That was good enough for Leon. It didn’t matter how slow he ate, as long as it got down his throat somehow.

Swallowing the remainder that was in his mouth, Leon perked up a little as Hop drank some of his broth. “Maybe later we can go out and eat at a proper restaurant.” Leon knew he wasn’t the best chef in the world, as his meals mostly consisted of microwaveable options and whatever he could get his hands on that didn’t require the use of a stove, but he knew enough to get by. But, getting by wasn’t good enough for Hop. He wanted to spoil him, wanted him to eat the tastiest foods Wyndon had to offer, and did Leon know some good places he had visited in the past that he could not _wait_ to take Hop to.

“This is fine.” Hop’s voice still carried that air of emotionless tint to it, but at least he was showing a bit more signs of life. Though not looking at Leon and kind of putting him off after everything that had happened, he tried not to let it get to him when Hop refused eye contact, instead focusing on his meal.

“I’m not the best cook.” Leon swallowed, having emptied most of his bowl by this point. “But, I wanted to treat you to some good food once in awhile at least.”

Hop nodded, twisting a forkful of noodles around before chewing them slowly. “I like ramen, though.”

“I’m not going to just feed you ramen, though.” But, to be fair, as long as Hop was eating something, it didn’t really matter what it was. Too long had Leon watched him starve himself until he felt the need to spoil him rotten, buy out the entire food supply for him, let him eat all the sweets and candy he could possibly eat, but as long as he wasn’t starving himself, Leon didn’t really care what he ate.

Standing from his spot, pushing his chair back as he rose, Leon gripped hold of his bowl, making to cross the room to the sink and wash his dishes, but a loud, unexpected banging rattled his front door, and Leon couldn’t help when he jumped back, dropping his bowl as it clattered to the floor. A shift from the table behind him let him know Hop had jumped as well.

“Dammit, Raihan!” He knew that’s who it was, because who else insisted they beat down his door like that on the norm? Grumbling to himself, he bent over to pick up the bowl, surprised as hell it hadn’t shattered, before he placed it on the counter and went to open the front door.

As expected, there was Raihan, shooting him a toothy grin as he let himself in, waving to Leon as he did so. “Good afternoon to you. Playing hooky again, I see.”

“Shove it.” Closing the door, Leon only continued frowning at his friend as Raihan stretched his arms over his head before popping his back in several places. “Must you beat down my door every time you come by? Why can’t you knock like a normal person?”

“Excuse me, I _do_ knock like a normal person. Maybe you—” Raihan cut himself off when he spotted Hop at the table, who, in the commotion taking place, had all but stopped eating and was giving Raihan a rather uncomfortable stare. Leon could see it in his body language when his shoulders bunched up, Hop having curled into himself somewhat, but even though he knew Raihan could be—well. _Raihan_. He knew he had no ill intentions. “Well, look who it is.”

“You remember Hop, right?” Despite this minor inconvenience, as Leon didn’t expect his friend to show his face today, he was still going to try and be pleasant about it, even though he didn’t really feel like dealing with him today.

Raihan nodded, having made his way over to the table before placing a palm down on the surface as he leaned over. “Looking at him now, yeah, I remember him. Been too long. How ya doing, Little Lee?”

Even Leon could see how Hop seized up at that, his eyes growing a bit wide before he quickly shifted his gaze off to the side. “F-fine.”

“Oh, you are _cute_. Don’t be bashful, I won’t bite.”

“Raihan.” Coming up behind his friend, Leon placed a hand to his shoulder, trying not to let that ‘cute’ comment get to him, but he couldn’t help the bitter taste that pooled into his mouth at it. “Was there a reason you came by?”

“Mmm? I can’t come see my favorite champ and his little bro without a reason?”

Leon frowned.

Leaning his weight back off the table, Raihan dug his hands into the front pockets of his hoodie before straightening up to his full height, towering over Leon a good ways. “What’s with that look? You skipped out on work again, you know. I figured you wanted to hang out with your bro, but…” He trailed off before glancing back at Hop who hadn’t moved the entire time. “You really feeding the kid ramen noodles?”

Leon shrugged, crossing his arms and giving Raihan another frown. “It was quick and easy, what do you want from me?” He hadn’t meant to sound irritated, but even Raihan picked up on his mood.

“Look at him, champ, he’s all skin and bones. Seriously gonna bring him all the way here and feed him ramen, what is even wrong with you?” There was a light tone to Raihan’s voice and Leon knew he was just giving him a hard time as a way of teasing him, but he sighed at it, not really in the mood for that sort of thing right now.

Apparently Raihan noticed the switch in somber mood as he glanced back between the two brothers. Straightening up again, he shot Leon a bit of a confused stare before stretching his arms back behind his head.

“Not to be rude, but I figured as excited as you were to bring Little Lee all the way up here that you’d be—I don’t know?” He pulled one arm behind him to make a swooping gesture with it. “Happier?”

Ugh. Leon was perfectly happy before he decided to show his mug here, but he shook his head. Raihan of all people didn’t need to know the gritty details of what went down that morning, but he also didn’t want to lie to him about it either. “It hasn’t been…a good morning.”

“Aww, why not?” At that, Raihan reached out, ruffling Leon’s hair and causing him to sputter before pushing him off. He was still teasing him, not realizing Leon was being completely serious.

“Stop it!” Huffing, he pulled his now tangled hair behind his shoulder before glancing over at Hop one more time who hadn’t touched his food since Raihan decided to burst in. He had just gotten him to start eating too, but he sighed. Couldn’t be helped. “Hop probably—” He bit his bottom lip, not sure how to explain this with as little detail as possible. “Probably won’t be able to go home for awhile.”

“Huh? Why not?”

Sweat threatened to bead at his neck, but Leon willed it away, trying his hardest not to appear guilty and keep things neutral. But—why would he feel the need to feel guilty in the first place? “Just leave it. It’s a family matter.” There. It really wasn’t any of Raihan’s business to begin with, but Leon didn’t know what else to say.

“Everything alright?” Times like these, when Leon really needed him to, Raihan could be kind and caring, even empathetic to a degree, but he couldn’t help to smile at the dip in Raihan’s tone. For him to tease the both of them one second, to turning so much softer, it was a welcome feeling to say the least.

“Not really, but we’ll be fine. Hop might have to live here for awhile is all.”

Raihan shot him a smile back and nodded. “Okay, if you say so. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

Leon nodded. “Appreciate it.”

With that said, Raihan turned his attention back to Hop who had at some point during the conversation, began staring back and forth between them, though he still looked quite tucked into himself, Leon could see at least some life had returned to him. Any kind of change from Hop right now for the better, no matter how small, was welcoming.

“You’re gonna love Wyndon, Little Lee.” Though, Leon couldn’t help but notice his brother cringe each time Raihan called him that. It was a small, almost insignificant motion, but he saw when his jaw clenched shut, his hands gripping the edge of the table, and only Leon could have noticed those small changes in body language. Raihan didn’t know him well enough to pick up on it, as he continued to smile and chat him up. “There’s tons to do, lots to see, good food. Hey, maybe we three should all go out to eat sometime. I haven’t treated you in awhile, champ.”

He clapped Leon on the back, pushing him out of his thoughts as he was snapped back to real life. “Oh, yeah. Let’s do it.” Though, he could have sounded a bit more enthused with that reply, he couldn’t be bothered with it now.

“I ought to leave. Sorry to intrude, just wanted to say hi.” Giving them both a wave, Raihan made his way to the front door, Leon close on his heels to see him out. “You’re gonna be there Monday, right?”

Leon shrugged. “Haven’t made up my mind yet, but probably.”

“No offense, but you’ve seemed real distracted lately. Sorry to hear there’s family issues going on, but I’m here if you need me.” Raihan had no idea the intensity of Leon’s issues right now, but he gave him a laugh through his nose, nodding as he did so.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime, champ. See ya later.” With that, Raihan disappeared out the door and around the corner, Leon turning back to Hop as the apartment was silent once again.

He gave Hop a bit of a sheepish apologetic shrug. “Sorry about him. He’s harmless, I promise.”

To his surprise Hop nodded, picking at his noodles once again with his fork. The moment Raihan left, his brother seemed to have calmed down, but he could still see the way he carried himself that Hop had been uncomfortable that entire time. “I remember him. Didn’t get to talk with him much.”

“That’s probably a good thing.” Making his way back to the kitchen, Leon grabbed his bowl from earlier and was about to wash it, but the next thing Hop said made him stop dead in his tracks.

“Are you two together?”

For the second time that day, Leon dropped his bowl, this time hissing through his teeth when it clattered into the sink, but thankfully hadn’t broken. He whipped around to Hop, feeling the heat rise to his face. “What the hell gave you _that_ impression?!”

“You just…seem like good friends.” Hop spoke slow, as though choosing his words carefully, but Leon’s reaction seemed to have caused him to stiffen up again and he could see his shoulders bunch up.

“Exactly, we’re just _friends_.” Holy hell, his face was still heated, but Leon didn’t know why that flustered him the way it did. Hop of all people asking him that when he _knew_ Leon loved him so much. At least—he _should_ have known that.

“Have you ever thought about dating him?”

Where on earth were these questions coming from? Gripping hold of the counter behind him, Leon used it to steady himself, not sure where Hop was going with this. “Not really? I mean—” He bit his lip, not sure if he should admit this or not, but it wasn’t like it meant anything, at least he was pretty positive Raihan never meant anything by it. “He likes to flirt, but it’s done in jest, I promise.”

“Why don’t you date him though? You both seem like you get along really well.”

That tone in Hop’s voice, it was almost unnoticeable, but Leon picked up on it when the slightest hints of desperation were there. Still gripping the sink, Leon looked at his brother who was staring back at him, eyes wide and maybe he was imagining it, but it looked like he was shaking a little. Leon frowned, not able to help himself. “What’s that supposed to mean? I don’t _like_ Raihan like that.”

“But, you guys get along great and you seem to understand each other. You could go out on a date with him and see where it goes.”

Was…

Was Hop trying to seriously play matchmaker with him? Slowly, Leon’s gaze fell to the floor, before back up at Hop who never quit staring at him, and it was obvious now he had begun to shake, though his voice hadn’t wavered in the slightest, Leon could still hear how desperate he sounded, and it kind of hurt him to have Hop try and set him up with someone else like this.

“Hop.” He moved, crossing the room before stopping in front of where Hop sat, noticing how he tensed up the moment he drew close, but Leon tried to pretend he hadn’t noticed. “Hop, I don’t like Raihan like that. Not sure where you’re getting these ideas he and I are an item, but I promise you I only have eyes for you.”

It was meant to be reassuring, it was meant as a reminder to his brother that he loved him, and _only him_ , but the way Hop’s face fell, the color draining until he downcast his face, no longer looking at Leon, it made that horrible slew of emotions dip into Leon’s stomach.

“Oh,” was all Hop said to him.

He wanted to think maybe Hop was jealous, jealous that Raihan teased him like he did, he wanted to think, he would have been fucking elated to think that Hop was jealous, but he could tell by his voice alone—he was disappointed. There was no denying his change in demeanor, the way his shoulders drooped and he sat slumped down in his chair, the way he refused to look at Leon. It made Leon want to ball his hands into fists and do… _something_ , but he wasn’t sure what.

“Hop, don’t act like this.” He couldn’t help it. Seeing Hop like this, wishing he was just jealous, though no matter how much he pretended, Leon couldn’t deny the reality happening in front of his eyes like this. “You can’t seriously still be scared of me, can you?”

Did nothing he’d done before matter? Did holding Hop close and allowing him to cry on him not matter at all to him? Just what did he have to do in order to prove to his brother that he loved him? Getting angry with him didn’t help, trying to be slow and gentle didn’t help, and telling him a thousand times over that he loved him didn’t help either.

Leon was running out of options. At this point, he was shaking, not sure what it was he could do, but knowing Hop had tried convincing him to date Raihan left a bitter taste in his mouth that he couldn’t get rid of, and he only frowned down at him. Hop didn’t even have the courtesy to face him.

“Hop.” This wasn’t good. His voice was low, tone much more annoyed than he’d meant it to sound, but he couldn’t help it. “Look at me.”

Slowly, he watched as his brother drew his face up, eyes still cast down to some random spot on the table, but Leon wasn’t going to let him get away with that half-assed attempt. He was tired of letting Hop get away with a lot of things he’d allowed him to get away with. But, Leon was _getting tired_.

“I said _look at me_.”

It was slow, but Hop finally drew his eyes up at him, the sheer amount of horror Leon could see in them making him grow stiff and cold.

“Hop, are you scared of me? Be honest.”

He shook his head, a little too fast for Leon’s liking.

“You aren’t? Then why—” He moved as he spoke, taking a step closer to Hop who jumped from his seat the moment Leon took a step toward him, almost toppling onto the floor before he gripped hold of the back of the chair, shaking. Leon couldn’t even be bothered to let out a sigh at him. “Why are you acting like this, then? Are you lying to me?”

“I’m not…” He swallowed, eyes still glued to Leon, but never once did they waver from that absolute look of horror.

“You _are_.” At that, Leon drew back, holding a hand to his forehead and letting out an over the top loud sigh. “I’m getting mixed signals from you, Hop. Why do you let me hold you one minute, but flinch away from me the next? You already know by this point I’m not interested in hurting you. You should know by now how much I love you.” Unless… Leon just hadn’t proven it to him enough?

What more could he do? What more could he possibly do to show his brother he was loved and cared for? A thousand thoughts raced through Leon’s mind, all the things he could do for Hop, all the money he could spend on him, maybe even take him on a trip, far, far away, get him away from Galar for awhile, but—

“Lee.” The sound of Hop’s voice roused him from his thoughts, and he blinked when he looked back over at his brother who had turned his gaze to the side. He spoke slow and soft, as though afraid any loud noises would disturb the already quiet air surrounding the apartment. “Lee, are you really okay with this?”

He shifted from his spot, trying not to grow annoyed by how Hop always seemed to ask him questions that lacked any clarity. “Okay with what?”

“With this.” Hop made a small wave with his hand as he gestured around the apartment. “You really don’t care what Mum thinks?”

“Why should I?” That came out a bit nastier than he’d intended, and even Leon could tell Hop had grown more rigid as they stood there like this, Hop’s hand on the back of his chair for support, Leon standing there soon crossing his arms to give his brother a hard stare. The chair Hop had leapt from was the only thing standing between them now, but Leon tried not to think that Hop might have done that on purpose. “After witnessing her go at you like she did, I hardly feel the need to waste my time on her anymore.” That wasn’t entirely true. Leon had complicated feelings about this whole thing, as she was _still their mother_ , he still wished Hop hadn’t been the one to take the fall like that, but at the same time, to watch her beat him with no regard, no inhibition, it only made Leon think they were better off without her in the first place.

“You really aren’t bothered?” Hop perked up somewhat, but never softened the grip he had on the back of his chair. It was almost as if he were holding onto it in case he needed to use it somehow, but for what, Leon had no idea.

So, he shook his head. “No. I’m not bothered. You shouldn’t be either.”

“I can’t help it.” Leon watched as a patch of red grew on Hop’s cheeks and even in a moment like this, seeing Hop so flustered and having stood up so that his chair was between him and Leon, even now he couldn’t help but think how adorable Hop looked when he blushed. It didn’t matter how it came about, but he would never know his own expression, the look on his face that Leon got the honor of witnessing—it drove him wild. Hop would probably never understand how he made Leon feel, by simply doing things like this, things he wasn’t even aware of.

“I know.” He tried to push thoughts like that out of his mind. He tried to focus on their conversation, but it was hard. Especially considering that morning, he had tried to get off, only to be interrupted like they were. He hadn’t wanted to say anything about it, but it was incredibly hard not to go at Hop when he’d gotten them into the apartment. All day long, he’d been forcing himself to hold back until the moment he could lock himself in the bathroom, or his bedroom, and take care of himself. But, when Hop made faces at him like that—faces he didn’t mean to—it made it incredibly difficult for Leon to control himself.

When he took a step forward then, he frowned when Hop stiffened up, hand still on the back of the chair, but giving Leon that wide eyed look again, and he couldn’t help the annoyances that dipped into his voice when he spoke.

“Stop that, Hop.’

“I…I can’t help it.” His grip tightened on the chair until his knuckles drained of color.

“Do you think I’m going to hurt you?” It was a legitimate question, but his frown only dropped when Hop stole a glance at the front door, not looking at Leon.

“You have before.”

“When?” This wasn’t good. He was getting heated, he knew, but Leon bit the edge of his tongue to keep himself in check. After all Hop had been through this morning, it wouldn’t be a good idea to get cross with him. Not like Leon needed another reason for his brother to get upset.

“All the time.”

“So when you held me back on the couch earlier, was that hurting you too?”

Hop’s eyes snapped back at him, and Leon saw, just from that look on his face, he knew Hop had no excuse for that. He held him, he clung to him, he cried into him as though Leon were the only thing that mattered, and he _fucking knew that_.

When the blush returned to coat his face, Hop’s stare not wavering, he swallowed before speaking. “I don’t…know.”

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Hop, you know full well you held onto me.” He leaned over, gripping hold of the back of the chair just like Hop was doing, and moved into him, closing the distance between them only for a moment before Hop blanched back, but Leon reached out with his other hand and gripped hold of his shirt to keep him in place. “Admit it, Hop. You held me, you held me so tight, you thought I was going to disappear, didn’t you?”

Hop’s face fell, but he only looked at Leon with wide eyes.

“I didn’t do anything to you. That was all you, all _your_ doing. I’m not complaining, don’t get me wrong, feel free to touch me anytime you want—” Hop made a strange strangled sound in the back of his throat, but Leon ignored it. “But, don’t you dare lie to me.”

“Lee, I…” Hop trailed off, finally lowering his eyes to a random corner of the room before he squeezed the back of the chair. Leon still had a grip on his sleeve and didn’t plan to let go anytime soon. No way would he let Hop run off on him now. “I just…I miss the way things used to be.” Then, he bit his bottom lip and Leon couldn’t help but notice the sheen of tears dabbing at the corner of his eyes before Hop blinked them away. “I miss _you_.”

“I’m right here though. Hop, it’s still me.” Whether Hop was gearing up the waterworks just to soften Leon’s mood, or if he was truly upset, he didn’t really care. There was no denying the way Hop held onto himself, standing like he was where Leon could hear his short choppy breaths. Hop wouldn’t fake this. He was uncomfortable.

But, he shook his head, still not looking at Leon. “No, you’re different.” Then, he slowly pulled his face up, blinking away the fresh tears in the corner of his eyes as his eyebrows pinched. “I miss the old you. I miss spending time with you, laughing with you, and—and talking with you.”

Leon frowned, giving Hop a hard stare, his fingers still dug into the fabric of his shirt, but he wasn’t squeezing as hard. “We can still do all those things, Hop. The only thing that’s changed is my love for you. I’ve always loved you, Hop, but—” That warmth spread down into his chest and he couldn’t help but smile. “I realized how important you are. You’re more important to me than anything. I care about you, I want you to be happy, but most of all, I want you to know I love you so much.”

Hop shivered beneath him, but didn’t move. At some point, he had gone back to gazing down at the table, but he made no other move than shifting his gaze every once in awhile. “Lee, even if that’s true, I…” He trailed off, biting his lip before continuing. “Why can’t we go back to the way things used to be?” His lip quivered then, but his words began to pick up speed, until Leon noticed he was tripping over himself as he spoke, as though more out of sheer desperation than anything. “I-I can forget about it, Lee. I won’t tell anybody. I can—I‘ll stay here with you, a-and—and we can pretend none of this ever happened.”

“Hop, what—” But his brother cut him off, words spilling out of him like he couldn’t control himself.

“I promise, I won’t tell anybody, I’ll lie about what happened to Mum too, I’ll say it was my fault she kicked us out—” The longer he spoke, the more his words were growing on the edge of hysteria, and Leon gripped his sleeve tighter when he noticed Hop started shaking, his eyes wild, but not focused on anything. “We can—we can go back, Lee.”

“I don’t want to go back.” He tried to remain calm and rational, but seeing Hop slowly lose himself like this was making it harder to control his own desires. If there wasn’t a damn chair in between them, he would have scooped Hop up by now and clung to him. “Hop, I’m not going to apologize for being in love with you.”

His face shot up, and Leon couldn’t help the chill that went down his spine at the sight of Hop’s eyes, that hopeless look in his eyes as he stared at him. “Even if I say no? You don’t care that I hate this?”

Leon’s stomach churned at those words, and he felt the back of his neck break out in a cold sweat, his fingers that were digging into Hop’s sleeve now beginning to shake. “Hop, what I do to you isn’t something _bad_ —fuck, I wish you would just _listen_ to me.”

“I hate it. Lee, I’m telling you right now that I hate it. I always have.”

His fingers dug into Hop’s sleeve, not meaning to when he accidentally pinched his skin with his nails, but Hop didn’t react at all to it.

“Don’t lie to me. You can’t say you hate it when I’ve seen the way you look after you come.” Leon leaned into him then, pushing the stupid chair out of the way and causing Hop to jump back, but he pulled him close by the collar of his shirt, until he had Hop gripped by both arms, staring down at him and trying not to let that look on his face get to him. “And who was the one who moaned for me? Who was the one, despite all his protests, all his kicking and yelling, who was the one who rocked into me when I fucked him?”

All the color drained from Hop’s face and Leon swore he felt his knees buckle under him, but he held him up.

“Don’t stand there and tell me that bullshit. You loved it and you _know you did_. I never once hurt you, Hop, and I don’t care if you keep telling yourself that until the damn day you die, but I never _hurt you_.” He loosened his hold on him, noticing that Hop had fallen rather slumped in his hold, as though he might collapse on his feet if Leon were to release him, but he let out a sigh, lowering his gaze before looking back up at Hop with a hard stare. “I’m not interested in hurting you, Hop. I’ve told you a million times I love you. I don’t know what I have to do to make you believe me, but wherever you’re getting these crazy ideas from that I’m going to hurt you, it needs to stop right now. I didn’t go out of my way to get you up here with me just to do something stupid like that.” He pinched his brow at the sight of Hop’s face, that wide eyed look that never went away before Leon sighed, lowering his head until his hair pooled down past his shoulders, hanging low.

Only the slightest movements came from Hop, when Leon felt him tremble, but his voice was small, almost so small that Leon didn’t hear him. Almost. “I-I’m scared…”

Leon lifted his head. “You know me, Hop.”

“I thought I did.” His trembling worsened.

“What exactly about this is scary to you?” Maybe, despite Leon’s reservations, his desires, his emotions, maybe he had been coming on too strong. He often forgot that Hop was, in every sense of the word, a teenager. Though a teenager about to be fifteen, his brother was young, inexperienced, and he was pretty sure his first kiss had been with Leon. It wasn’t like he knew things like Leon did, it wasn’t like he knew all those one night stands Leon had had with people, sometimes fans, sometimes paparazzi, or even the late nights he got drunk with Raihan and made out with him, but Hop was a stranger to this.

Leon bit his lip. He knew that. He knew Hop had no idea how relationships worked, and Leon had, despite his declarations of love, been _very_ physical with him. He hadn’t taken the time to ease his brother into this, go slow with him, and show him it wasn’t scary. In his desperation, Leon had allowed his desires to take over and make the decisions for him, the decision that resulted in him holding his brother down and fucking him in a tent.

Leon sighed. No wonder Hop was still nervous around him. “Hop, I’m sorry. I know I’ve come on strong, but I can’t help it sometimes.” He leaned up to him, trying his best to smile, but only twitched the corners of his mouth. “I wish you knew what you did to me, but I promise you, I promise, Hop, I won’t ever hold you down like I did before. I won’t ever do that to you again.”

It was meant to be reassuring, meant to give his brother comfort, but Leon only felt him stiffen in his hold. Hop never said a word to him, but only gave him that wide eyed look and Leon hated that he was getting frustrated Hop was turning this into a one sided conversation. If he would only nod his head, show Leon he understood, it would be enough.

But no.

Leon could feel him. He felt the resistance, even as Hop stood there, trembling, Leon could tell.

“How about this, Hop. I feel all I’ve done with you lately is make deals, but I want to do something different.” He inhaled before continuing, trying to soften his features and give his brother a smile, but with Hop looking at him that way, it was hard to muster. “Let’s do something nice for a change. I’ll take you back to those days for awhile, how about that? You and me can spend the day in Wyndon tomorrow, we can sightsee, go to the stadium, I’ll take you shopping and buy you any clothes you want, and we can go to one of the best restaurants in town that serves amazing curry.”

His chest fluttered at the idea he was basically asking Hop on a date.

 _A date_.

Just the thought of those words made Leon’s face flush and he smiled for real, a genuine smile at his brother simply because he was getting excited about taking him on a date. A day out with Hop, spoiling him rotten until Leon had bought out every store just for him—his chest was warm, his hands shaking, and he hadn’t felt this rush of exhilaration in a long time.

“Come on, Hop. You need to get out and do something nice like that. What do you say?” He was egging him on, letting his excitement take over as he gripped him by the arms, but Leon couldn’t contain himself. Spending the day with Hop felt like a long lost fantasy he could only dream about, but now—

Hop didn’t answer for a long time, even as Leon gripped hold of him, making sure he wasn’t holding on too tight, but finally, after it felt like they’d been standing there, staring into each other’s eyes for hours, Hop finally drew in a breath, closed his eyes, and nodded.

“…Okay.”

Leon’s chest swelled, and he pulled Hop into him, wrapping his arms around his brother. Though Hop didn’t push him away, Leon couldn’t help but feel the slightest hints of resistance from him, but it was okay. It was still progress from before when Hop wouldn’t even allow him to hold him like this. Small steps, but steps nonetheless.

“It’ll be fun, I promise.”

While he stood there, holding onto Hop like this, enveloping him in his warmth until Leon felt the slow, but steady nod come from him, his mind began to race with thoughts. There were a thousand things he wanted to go and do with Hop right this second, but he had to contain himself. Because even though Leon was no stranger to one night stands and physical exchanges, he was embarrassed to admit he was rather lackluster in the romancing department.

His face grew heated.

 _Romancing Hop_. Those words shouldn’t have made him as giddy as they did, but his stomach was pooled with butterflies, his heart full and his chest tightened at the idea of going out on a _date_ with his brother. Not just any date—something that would allow Leon to show his true feelings. Something where he could be romantic, gentle, and allow Hop all the space he needed to show him he was loved.

Leon tightened his hold around Hop, pulling his brother closer to him and wishing he would hug him back, but it was okay that he didn’t. He let out a laugh through his nose when he caught the small scent of sugar.

Maybe if he did something nice for him like this, Hop would eventually come around. He was already in so deep, Leon having cut ties with Mum (though not willingly) to get Hop up here with him, that he knew he wasn’t going to be able to hold off much longer. But, for Hop’s sake, he wanted to be kind, loving, and bite down his lust long enough to prove to his brother how much he meant to him.

Maybe.

He smiled, not able to hold back the small quieted laughs that bubbled in the back of his throat.

Maybe Hop would learn to enjoy this. Maybe Hop would grow to love him this much too, and in time, maybe that fantasy version of his brother, the Fantasy Hop who climbed into his lap, touched his hands all over, and pulled him down to kiss him, would become reality. It made Leon so happy to think of things like that, a future where Hop got comfortable enough with him to do things like that with him. A future where Hop clung to him like he had done on the couch before, but on the norm, everyday, all day if he wanted, Leon didn’t mind.

To think of things like that, Leon couldn’t help the blush on his face when he pulled away, Hop having not held him back, but he wasn’t looking as freaked out as he had before. Rather, he was lax, eyes downcast, and face red, probably from being held so long, but Leon couldn’t help himself. He just loved him so much.

Tomorrow, he’d make sure of it. Leon was going to prove to his brother just what he meant to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna open a restaurant and call it Fantasy Hop lol
> 
> I’m getting more active on twitter if anyone wants to go hang out with me there (i sometimes post sneak peeks of chapters before they’re uploaded!) and talk about leehop in general 
> 
> @leonloveshop
> 
> Please understand i might not be comfortable with you following for my own reasons, but i try to be open to people if they simply want to lurk. I apologize!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I WASN’T GOING TO WRITE LONG CHAPTERS EVER AGAIN 
> 
> Hahah shit scoob i am so sorry this is so long
> 
> Um, i wanna say take care when reading this, but i don’t want to spoil for what, but be mindful. I actually made myself sad writing this looool 
> 
> Take care, amigos

The rest of that Friday passed by in relative peacefulness. Once everything was all said and done, Leon insisted he give Hop a tour of the apartment, not that there was much to see, but the realization that Hop had never actually been in his place hit him like a brick wall. Hop, though less than enthused about the tour, at least followed him around while he showed him about.

Despite being the former champion, Leon lived in a rather simple apartment. He had only the essentials, a spare bedroom, kitchen, sitting area, a balcony he never even used, but everything he needed for the single life. Of course, there were always exceptions to that. Nothing permanent, but Leon had his fair share of one night stands and company. Being the champion had its benefits after all.

But, he could smile at the idea of Hop becoming his _permanent_ roommate. The empty spare bedroom Raihan used on occasion was finally being put to good use, and Leon wasn’t going to spare any expense when it came to his brother. The room wasn’t fully furnished by any means. It didn’t even have a telly, but Leon would be sure to buy him one later. After all, when he went to pick him up before, this wasn’t a sure fire thing, but—

He had to swallow down the butterflies that fluttered in his stomach. Because it shouldn’t have made him this happy that it _was_ a permanent thing. The original plan was for Hop to stay a few weeks, maybe a couple months tops, but now Leon had to accommodate him for an indefinite amount of time. Something he was all too eager and happy to do. He didn’t mind if Hop lived here until he became an adult, though Leon hoped he could talk him into just—living with him. The future wasn’t something Leon thought about too terribly hard, as he was always focused on what was happening in the moment, but he could smile at the idea of Hop growing up here. Getting taller, getting more handsome—Leon’s neck prickled with sweat, wondering that if Hop was as adorable as he was now, how on earth would he be able to keep his hands off him once he grew up a bit more?

Would he finally grow out of that scrawny phase and get some muscle? Would he get taller, maybe even taller than Leon? As happy as imagining Hop growing up to match him in height made him, Leon couldn’t help but want him to stay the size he was, for as long as he could. Sure, an older Hop would no doubt be very handsome, but Leon adored him the way he was now. He was just too cute, it made his heart flutter every time he caught himself looking at Hop and appreciating how much smaller than him he was.

_The perfect fit._

The way Hop was now, he was perfect. He was the opposite to Leon in every sense of the word, but that was a wonderful thing. Soon, Hop would begin sprouting up, getting taller, getting more muscle, but for now—Leon smiled. For now, he liked him this way.

The snowfall outside had only gotten heavier as the night rolled by. Leon worried for awhile if maybe it would snow too much, ruining their plans for tomorrow, but after glancing out his window every so often, it didn’t appear it was sticking to the ground all that much. Nothing a little walk through would hurt. It would be fine, and if all else, Leon would have an excuse to bundle Hop up in his clothes to keep him warm. He had to laugh at the passing thought of just pulling his own shirt over Hop and pulling him into his chest so that he could be closer to him, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to get away with that. Maybe one day, he thought. If Hop got comfortable enough with him, who knew what he could get away with.

Thoughts like that ran through his mind all day, and all evening, until the night sky blanketed Wyndon, the only light in the apartment being from the telly and a few lamps here and there.

Leon had just showered, exiting the bathroom in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. When he turned the corner, Hop was seated on the couch, knees bundled up to his chin and staring at the telly, but Leon couldn’t be sure if he was even watching it or not. It seemed every time he caught Hop ‘watching’ the telly, he never changed the channel, or so much as adjusted the volume. Maybe he was just shy about it, but it wasn’t like Leon was one of those people who got their ass in a wad over having the channel changed. He barely watched it himself, so he didn’t care what Hop watched.

But, he couldn’t help but let out a sigh, mostly to himself. From that morning he first got Hop in here, he had turned to some random station with cartoons playing, and that’s where it remained, all day long. No louder or quieter since then. Surely, Hop wasn’t actually engrossed in those sort of things? But, maybe he was. Leon didn’t care if his brother still watched cartoons, but generally when people watched something, they were at least _watching_ it.

“Hop?” He had to say something in order to bring his mind out of his own daydreams. Sometimes Leon could get so carried away thinking about Hop, that he feared some of those innocent thoughts might devolve into something else. When it came to Hop though, that was very, very easy to do. Even if it wasn’t Leon’s intention, even if he was thinking of something purely familial or platonic, it never failed that his desires started creeping up. It was only because he had waited two weeks, saving himself for his brother, that he knew he was tilting on the edge, ready for some kind of gratification.

Hop never answered, but he made his way around the corner, just to make sure he hadn’t fallen asleep sitting up. The glare of the telly reflected off his lidded eyes, but he at least looked up at Leon when he stood in front of him.

“Shower’s free,” he said, making a small gesture with his hand toward the bathroom. “The hot water doesn’t run out that easily around here, so take as long as you’d like.”

The reaction from Hop was less than enthused, though he did unfold himself from the couch before standing and walking past Leon toward the bathroom. He watched him go, noting how slouched his posture was as he went, before Hop closed himself up, leaving Leon alone in the sitting room by himself. He let out a sigh, rubbed the back of his neck, and picked up the remote from the arm of the couch before plopping himself down and switching from the cartoons to some news station.

Wouldn’t hurt to see what the weather was going to be like tomorrow. As suspected, it was only going to get colder, but the heavier snowfall wouldn’t be moving in until about midweek. Leon could sigh in relief that at least the weather would be somewhat pleasant tomorrow. His mind had about a million and one thoughts running through it at what he even planned to do with his brother come tomorrow morning. He thought of taking them out to eat, but it seemed like a bigger meal was more appropriate for dinner time.

Leon swallowed.

He was so bad at this. He couldn’t even remember the last time he went on a date, if going grocery shopping with Sonia that one time even counted. All of his encounters with romance were always physical, based on lust, based on one night stands with no repercussions or feelings. The people he slept with understood that, and Leon had been lucky enough to never run into a ravenous fan after sex. But, even with all his altercations, all the propositions he used to get, it came to a pretty fast halt the second he lost his title.

But, honestly, Leon never cared for those types of encounters anyway. He was no stranger to sex, or hookups, or even making out with Raihan, but…romance and love were foreign things to him.

Blush coated his face as he thought about the fact Hop was really the first person he’d ever been in love with. His own brother, and he’d fallen in _love_ with him. Even Leon could see that was rather strange, but he also didn’t care. He had already beaten himself up enough about it, to the point he actively ignored those thoughts that told him it was taboo. Of course it was taboo, but he wasn’t going to apologize for it either. Leon loved Hop, loved him so much that he was ready to burst in order to share his feelings for him, but he also knew Hop was a stranger to this. Hop had never been intimate with anyone, so of course Leon being his first (and he had to smile at the fact he had been Hop’s _first_ ) was going to take getting used to.

As horrible as he’d made Hop’s circumstance in coming up here, Leon couldn’t have been happier things ended up like this. The more he thought on it, the less guilty he felt about Mum kicking them out. It sucked for Hop, and he hated that his brother was blaming himself for this, but he also had his own place, and though he wasn’t exactly rich, he still had more than enough money to support himself and his brother. It wasn’t like Mum kicked them to the curb where they had nowhere to live. Leon had been doing fine on his own for years, and though it made him a little sad to think he was no longer welcome at home, the fact he had Hop up here with him overshadowed that by a long shot.

He could breathe easier knowing Hop was up here with him and not down in Postwick doing something stupid like running away from home or—Leon caught himself with that thought.

_Running away from home._

As he sat on the couch, mind racing with thoughts again as the telly droned on about the weather, his eyes trailed over to the front door, and his chest tightened at the fact he hadn’t considered Hop might run away from him. Well, they both knew he had nowhere to go, but that didn’t stop him the first time he ran away. He just camped out of Hammerlocke, though with only a tent and his Pokemon to protect him from the elements, that didn’t stop Leon from worrying if Hop was considering that as well.

It hurt to think Hop might try and sneak out, maybe wait until Leon was asleep before leaving in the middle of the night, but Leon tried to bite down thoughts like that. He was paranoid, yes, but he couldn’t imagine Hop running off on him like this. With Mum out of the picture, there was nowhere he could go, and with his stupid little neighbor friend having rejected him like she did (and good riddance to garbage like her), there was no one else Hop could go to.

All he had was Leon.

Right. Leon sucked in a breath as he heard the shower from the bathroom turn off, signaling to him that Hop was done, and he leaned back on the sofa, trying not to let thoughts like that overwhelm him. Because maybe he should get a safety lock—just in case. Maybe one for Hop’s room at night. He could lock him in his room so that he couldn’t leave—no, that was insane. Leon shook his head. That was crazy, there was no way he was locking Hop in his room just to make sure he couldn’t leave.

But.

What freaked Leon out more was _knowing_ that was crazy to do that to Hop, but also how tantalizing the idea of locking him up in the first place was. Imagining Hop all to himself, completely cut off from the outside world, kept in a room where Leon could take care of him, love him, and where nobody was allowed to so much as look at him, because Hop was _his_. _He was Leon’s_ , and nobody other than Leon was allowed to look at Hop the way he did, touch Hop the way he did. Nobody else would ever love his brother as badly as Leon did.

The bathroom door creaked open followed by a wall of steam as Hop exited and Leon stood up from the couch before Hop could cross the hall to enter the spare bedroom (well, now it was officially Hop’s room). He tried giving his brother a smile, but didn’t gauge much of a response. Just Hop’s usual lidded stare.

“Is there anything I can get you?” He noticed Hop had only wrapped a towel around his waist, but Leon was trying his damndest not to let his eyes wander.

Hop shook his head.

“Um, there’s extra blankets in the closet if you get cold. Shouldn’t be too bad tonight.”

A small nod.

Leon bit his lip, not liking how the smell of Hop’s shampoo was wafting toward him. This was so stupid, because it was the same exact shampoo Leon had showered with, as he hadn’t had time to grab all of Hop’s things before they left the house that morning. But—

Why did the thought of Hop bathing with his things turn him on? It shouldn’t have, but he had to bite the blood from his lip to stop thinking of thoughts like that. It would do no good right now, not in this position, not with Hop having been through hell that morning.

Even as he fought to keep his thoughts in check, forcing himself to think of innocent things, Leon couldn’t help but gaze down at his brother’s bare chest. Despite having already fucked him once, Leon never got the chance to truly sit and admire his brother’s body. He was slim, maybe a little too slim, with no defining muscles or fat just yet, but Leon knew he would grow into it eventually. He was just too lanky right now, too skinny, but Leon didn’t mind. Hop was perfect the way he was, and he would only get more perfect as time went on.

A small gasp, almost unheard had Leon not gotten quiet, came from Hop when he suddenly drew back, folding his arms over himself which caused Leon to snap out of it and look him in the eye. Hop was giving him that wide-eyed look again, having caved into himself and Leon felt the blush rush to his face when he realized Hop had caught him staring. _Shit_ , he hadn’t meant to get carried away like that, but he quickly drew his hand up, scratching the back of his head and running his fingers through his hair as a way of trying to make out like he hadn’t been ogling his brother’s chest.

“A-anyway, I put all your clothes away. Um, your computer is on the bed, so’s your phone. Don’t be afraid to get up and get anything you need, or eat anything you want.” This place was as much Hop’s as it was Leon’s now.

Hop gave him a faster nod before ducking into his bedroom, closing the door behind him and leaving Leon alone in the hallway. He sucked in a breath before exhaling, still feeling the heat in his cheeks as he willed himself to calm down. If he got too excited and went after Hop like this—there would be no telling what he would do. Even though his desires were less than pure, mainly because he wanted to hold Hop down and _fuck him raw_ —he knew he couldn’t do that. His brother would hate him if he ever lost control like that just to give into his own insatiable lust. Leon wanted to ease him into this, and dammit, that’s what he was going to do.

He inhaled a bit more slowly this time, trying to gain his composure once more. Everything was alright. Everything would be fine. Tomorrow would come, he would take out Hop (on a date), and his brother would see Leon wasn’t some scary monster who was going to eat him. He was still his big brother, he was still the same old Leon.

He nodded to himself.

Right.

Hop would come around. Eventually. Leon would make sure of it.

* * *

That Saturday morning couldn’t have come any slower if it tried.

Leon ended up crashing on the couch, partially because he couldn’t sleep and started watching the telly, but also in part because he was afraid Hop might try and sneak out during the night. But, it appeared once his brother went into his room after his shower, that was where he stayed.

The morning sun rays began to slither over the window, reflecting off the snow that blanketed the balcony and rousing Leon from his sleep. He had dozed off at some point, though he wasn’t sure when, and still had his head leaned back up against the couch, the telly flickering in front of him. Letting out a tired groan, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes before standing from the couch and popping his back as he stretched. Whatever little sleep he’d managed to get was instantly forgotten when he remembered it was finally Saturday.

 _Saturday_.

His heart began to pound at the idea he was about to take his brother on a date. Well, Hop didn’t exactly know it was a date yet, but to Leon it was. For all Hop knew, this was a tour of Wyndon, a little get together for them to get out, take in the sights, and enjoy some good food without worrying about all that had happened.

Leon huffed, not able to contain the smile that grew on his face. He was excited, elated even, as he dug through the kitchen for some coffee. His excitement was festering, but he could feel the heaviness behind his eyes, knowing it would take awhile before he was fully awake, but that didn’t matter now. He worked quickly, draining a cup before heading into the bathroom, taking his time to groom and tidy himself, brush his teeth, all the things like that.

When he dug around in his drawers for clothes, not sure what he should wear, he settled on a pair of jeans and a turtleneck shirt, not really sure what was appropriate to wear for a date. He’d been dressing a bit more casually as of late, but figured casual was the best way to go. It wasn’t like this was some formal event— _it was a date_. A date with Hop, a date with his brother. He didn’t have to worry about screwing up or saying the wrong thing in front of his own brother.

That put his mind at ease a little and Leon was still smiling by the time he combed his hair through, finally satisfied with his appearance. It had taken him about forty minutes as he ran back and forth through the apartment, fretting over this and that, but one glance at the clock told him it was almost nine that morning, and he couldn’t wait any longer before he knocked on his brother’s door.

“Hop?” He spoke softly, only to be met with no reply from the other side, so he knocked again. “Are you awake?” Still no reply. “I’m coming in.”

The sun was just barely peeking through Hop’s window, a small stream of light streaked across his blanket, but Leon could make out the form of his brother curled up under the covers, and even hear the sounds of him breathing heavy. He knew it was a bit early to be out on a Saturday of all things, but he couldn’t contain his excitement. Leon wanted to scoop Hop up right _this second_ and take him out.

“Hop.” Placing his hand on Hop’s side, he gave him a gentle shake, laughing through his nose when Hop gave a small snore in response. “It’s time to wake up.” Though, if Hop’s sleeping face kept tempting him like this, Leon might not be able to hold back. He looked so cute with his jaw hung open, face relaxed, completely unaware Leon was hovering over him like this. Why couldn’t he look this relaxed when he was awake?

Letting out a sigh, Leon shook him again, this time receiving a small groan as Hop shifted in his sleep, rolling over on his back. Leon rolled his eyes. _Idiot_ , if he kept doing that—

Hop’s mouth quivered before growing slack once more and Leon couldn’t help it. Bending over, he brushed his knuckles against the side of Hop’s face, noting that his brother’s skin was cold to the touch. Surely it hadn’t been that cold in his room last night? Leon had kept the heat on to at least make it comfortable in the apartment.

“Hop, wake up.” He couldn’t have been fake sleeping, could he? Leon wasn’t sure why Hop would fake this, but a smile curled at his mouth. “If you don’t wake up right now, I’m going to kiss you until you do.”

No response. Leon huffed. If he’d been faking, that might have put a spark under his feet, but he shrugged. Oh well. He warned him.

Dragging his hand up, he ran his fingers through Hop’s hair before leaning over and kissed him on the mouth. There was absolutely no resistance below him, something Leon wasn’t used to, especially with Hop. Whether that was a good or bad thing, he didn’t care as he kissed deeper, even going as far as letting his tongue come out, dragging it up Hop’s bottom lip, back inside, until he could feel his teeth.

That got him movement. With his tongue now inside Hop’s mouth, all but going at him, Leon heard him gurgle out a sleepy moan before Hop’s eyes slowly drew open. For a moment, they were glazed, heavy from sleep and unfocused, but as Leon leaned over, kissing him, only pulling away to kiss his jaw, the corner of his mouth, and when he dragged his own mouth against Hop’s lips, getting a little too eager, Hop finally snapped awake then.

His hand reared up, pushing against Leon’s chest as he drew away, eyes wide and unblinking, head already craned to the side so that Leon couldn’t reach his mouth anymore, but he couldn’t help but let out a laugh when he saw Hop’s face gush red.

“Good morning.” He didn’t bother to press him. Leaning up, he ruffled his hair, gaining a rather uncomfortable flinch from Hop when he did so, but Leon ignored it as he pulled back and stood straight. “Ever the heavy sleeper, aren’t you?”

Hop didn’t reply, but leaned up in bed, his face still radiating heat when he drew his knees up, refusing to meet Leon’s eye.

“Hurry up and get dressed. I wanna try to get to the stores before the crowds take over.”

It was so subtle that Leon almost missed it when he saw Hop clench his blanket until his knuckles paled, but he tried to ignore it as he strode across the room, turning one more time before he exited through the door.

“I’ll be out here if you need anything.” And he closed the door behind him, seating himself on the sofa before turning the telly on for background noise.

The clock ticked, and it was approaching half past nine. Leon was restless, bouncing his leg up and down as he waited. He was trying his hardest to be patient for Hop, but he sure was taking his sweet time getting dressed. He had been holed up in the bathroom for the most part, but Leon could hear him shuffling around, doing his business and whatnot.

Just as he was about to stand from the couch and tell Hop to hurry up (or even help him if he had to), the bedroom door opened, Hop approaching from around the corner dressed about as casually as Leon was, which surprised him. He didn’t know what he expected, but seeing Hop round the corner in jeans and an oversized sweatshirt wasn’t what he expected, and he couldn’t help the blush that formed, heating his cheeks, at the sight of Hop in clothes too big for him.

_He was too cute._

Leon knew, he just _knew_ Hop would be adorable in clothes like that, and here he was, though the shirt wasn’t Leon’s, maybe something Mum had gotten for him, but it didn’t matter. He was adorable, so adorable that Leon rose from his spot on the couch, giving Hop a huge smile as he tried to fight the heat he could still feel pooling around his face.

“You look nice.”

Hop’s lowered gaze only trailed to the side slightly before he stuffed his hands into his sweatshirt pockets. He didn’t reply, though Leon noticed how his face reddened a bit, it was a good enough reply for him.

“Ready to go?”

“Where exactly are we going?” Hop’s sudden question threw him off for a moment, not expecting him to speak, especially in that curt tone he should have been used to by this point, but it never failed to put him off.

“Um, I thought we could do some shopping first, then eat lunch.” Honestly, Leon had no idea what in the hell he planned to do, but he figured once they began walking around, taking in the sights, he might get an idea for what they might _could_ do. This was supposed to be something easy-going, maybe even romantic, but the fact of the matter was, Leon had zero experience in dating.

It should have put him at ease he was going on a date with Hop where he didn’t have to worry so hard about impressing him, but there was a lingering bundle of nerves in his stomach that wouldn’t go away, and he found himself overthinking what it was he was supposed to be doing in the first place. Maybe the fact it _was_ Hop he was taking out was causing him to grow anxious over the need for this day to be as perfect as possible.

Leon wasn’t perfect though. Far from it. But, he let out a sigh. Maybe once they got going, things would fall into place naturally, but he knew he couldn’t will the romantic sparks to fly, as much as he wanted. So for now, he turned the telly off, grabbed his keys, a couple coats that sat by the door, and gave Hop a smile.

“Here.” He handed him a coat. “It’s cold out.”

Tentatively, Hop took it from him before wrapping it around himself, Leon not able to help the warmth that settled in his chest at the sight of Hop wearing his clothes. That sweatshirt he was wearing looked so tight compared to Leon’s coat. He wasn’t _that_ much bigger than his brother, but he still towered over him, had more muscle to his build while Hop was—well, was lanky as hell, so his coat swallowed him whole.

But, he just looked more adorable that way. At least it would be warmer for him, too.

Tossing his coat around himself, Leon led them out before locking the door behind him, not able to hide the smile that stretched on his face.

* * *

The morning air greeted them like a pat on the back once they’d exited Leon’s apartment complex. The tiniest hints of snow flurries were blowing about in the breeze, but the sun was warm, the rays shining down to reflect off the snow and making Wyndon appear much brighter than it normally was.

Leon was relieved to see since it was still fairly early that morning, the crowds of people hadn’t quite gathered like they did around noon. There were people out and about, here and there, but not quite as congested. It was really only during the tournaments did Wyndon really come alive with throngs of people until the city became a hotspot for tourists, competitors, and paparazzi. It hadn’t gotten quite as lively as when Leon lost the championship match, but he didn’t necessarily mind the overall lull in people these days.

They arrived in the plaza near the station, Leon not able to hold back his smile at the sight of the large fountain that stood in the middle. A few people were gathered around it, mostly taking pictures, or chatting about, but he turned back to Hop who tucked into his coat, hands in his pockets and appearing to be focused on his shoes.

Leon shot him a smile, wishing Hop would look up at him long enough to see it. “Is there anything you’d like to go do? We can go anywhere you like.” He began counting off his fingers. “There’s tons of stores, we can get you some new clothes if you want. There’s a sweets shop right over there if you want a snack, or we could go to the stadium and see if anything interesting is happening there.”

Hop didn’t react or even look up at him, so Leon turned in a half circle, looking back and forth for anything that might jump out at him. One of the most expensive clothing stores was right down the block from them, and since it was apparent Hop wasn’t in a hurry to make a decision, Leon would make one for him.

“Let’s go.” As he spoke, he reached out to grab Hop by the arm, but the moment his hand gripped hold of him, Hop jumped back, finally bringing his head up and shooting Leon a quick glare before gazing off to the side.

“Don’t…do that.” His cheeks gushed red and Leon couldn’t help but let out a sigh. Was he afraid someone might get suspicious of them if Leon so much as touched him? He hated to break it to Hop, but nobody cared. If Leon wanted to hold his hand and drag him all over the place, he doubted anyone would look twice at them. It wasn’t like they would automatically know they were being intimate, and most people who hadn’t gotten in on the championship craze weren’t even aware Hop was his brother.

But even if they did, it’s not like anyone would question Leon if he got a little touchy with him. It was only because they were brothers that Leon was allowed to hold him the way he did. Only because they were brothers would Leon be able to get away with innocent touches, innocent gestures, because only he knew the true meaning behind it.

Hop had to know too.

Still, Leon sighed again as Hop only curled further into himself, though appearing to only be cold, Leon knew he was uncomfortable. This day wasn’t about him, but about trying to give Hop something to do to take his mind off Mum and everything that had happened. The least he could do was try and be patient with him.

“Come on, then.” Instead of grabbing his arm, Leon turned heel and began striding down the block toward the clothing store. A quick glance over his shoulder let him see Hop was at least following after him. That was progress, though small, but at least Hop wasn’t flat out denying him. He could have thrown a tantrum in the middle of the plaza, gave Leon lip, and refused to move from his spot, but he didn’t.

Progress, no matter how small, was progress after all. Leon could at least be grateful for the little things like this, and he smiled, happy that Hop was following him, though also wishing he would get comfortable enough with him to let Leon hold his hand. For now, that was out of the question. He was just too shy, too worried about prying eyes and what people would say or think about him, and Leon could understand his brother’s worries, at least in that regard.

As much as it pained him, he had to control himself and try not to push his brother too hard while they were out in public like this. Leon had to remember to remain neutral, platonic—but damn was it going to be hard to control those urges. He’d been fighting with them for the past two weeks and at this point, Leon was ready to explode. The moment he brought Hop to his place, he had wanted so bad to fuck him all night, indulge in his brother’s presence as much as he could and he would have. Leon would have absolutely held his brother down and fucked him the moment they walked through that door, but—

A quick glance back at Hop before they came upon the clothing store.

But, after all he had been through, Leon knew he had to control himself for Hop’s sake. He had to start being nicer to him, even though Hop made it difficult sometimes to do that, but Leon knew he came on desperate and strong. He didn’t want his relationship with Hop to be based purely on lust, because while he was undeniably sexually attracted to him, he was starting to appreciate the smaller things about him, little by little.

Holding open the door, Leon stepped out of the way, smiling at Hop as he ushered him inside of the building. Hop, still not looking at him, at least walked through, having been huddled into his coat, but once the warmth inside the building enveloped him, Leon could see his shoulders relaxing a bit. He stepped inside behind him, noting how awfully quiet it was. There were a few people here and there, but nowhere near the hustle and bustle he was used to. Then again, Leon didn’t go clothes shopping all that often, so this was just as much new to him as it was to Hop.

Was going clothes shopping even an appropriate thing to do on a date? Leon couldn’t figure out if he was doing something wrong or not, but figured as long as he was spending money on Hop, it couldn’t have been all that bad. Hop had stopped in front of him, but stepped out of the way as Leon entered in through behind him, his hands still stuffed into his pockets. Craning his head back and forth, Leon soon found a section that looked to be about Hop’s size before trudging over.

“See anything you like? Don’t worry about the cost, I can afford it.” Though, if Hop got a little _too_ crazy in a place like this, Leon might have to start working extra hours at the tower to pick up the slack.

Hop moved through the racks of clothes, Leon noticed he wasn’t really looking at anything, but brushing his hands on shirts every once in awhile. As Leon filed through shelves of shirts, pants, and the like, Hop was more or less browsing like they used to do when they were younger and had to go shopping with their mum. Not looking at anything, but too bored to stand in place at the same time.

“Hop?” He sidled up behind him, finally gaining some reaction from his brother as he lifted his head slightly, but wouldn’t meet his eye. Leon tried not to let it get to him, though he was a bit put off. “You can get an outfit, any outfit. I really don’t mind what you want. I want you to get something _you_ like.” He tried to muster a smile, but it was difficult with Hop refusing to look at him like he was.

“I don’t want anything.”

“Come on, Hop, there has to be something. Maybe a new coat? Is there anything you want?”

Finally, Hop’s lidded eyes rose until his gaze met Leon’s, and he would have been lying if he said that his brother’s stare didn’t send shivers down his spine. “I want to go home, Lee.”

His throat tightened, that horrible strangling feeling coiling around his chest until Leon felt like someone was tying a rope around him, but he tried not to show it, tried to pretend cold sweat wasn’t prickling at his forehead, but for a moment, he shifted his eyes to the side, trying to appear nonchalant, trying not to get bothered. “We can go home after awhile if you want, but we should at least eat.”

“Not here.” And Hop’s shoulders drooped, his eyebrows pinched when he lowered his stare again. “I want to go back to Postwick.”

“You can’t.” It was almost unnoticeable, but even Leon could hear the desperation in his own voice as he tried to bite it down.

To his surprise, Hop let out a sigh before nodding. “I _know_ I can’t. But, that’s what I want.”

Leon didn’t know what to say to that. He knew in his gut that he should have said something comforting to him, or hugged him if he could, though Hop wouldn’t like that, but he bit his tongue, remaining silent. Because honestly, there was nothing he could say that would comfort Hop right now.

As horrible as it was, it was over and done with, and even Hop knew that. Hop knew there was no going home, he knew he was no longer welcome in Postwick, and as much as Leon wished he could have said something to make it all go away, make everything better, there was nothing, absolutely nothing he could say or do to make this up to Hop. They’d been banished from home, disowned by Mum, and there was no fixing that.

Leon sighed, turning to pull a sweater off the rack before running his fingers along the soft material.

All he could do now was try and show Hop that life up here with him was much better than what he had. If he had to buy out this whole store for him, he would. If he had to shower Hop in his love everyday, he would. But, Leon was determined to show Hop he was still loved, if not by Mum, then at least by him. Leon knew, nobody had to tell him.

He loved Hop more than anyone ever could.

* * *

They had spent a much longer time shopping than Leon intended. He ended up picking out clothes for Hop, though try as he might to get his brother engaged and at least tell him if he fancied something before buying it, Leon had no such luck. They left the store, shopping bags in hand, full of stuff for Hop all picked out by Leon, but he was surprised the see the sun was high in the sky, the shadows from nearby buildings just beginning to stretch ever so slightly. Leon couldn’t believe they’d spent that much time shopping, but he turned back to Hop before they walked any further.

“Are you hungry?”

At first, he thought Hop might not respond, but he was pleasantly surprised when his brother gave him a soft nod.

“Let’s get some lunch then.” Maybe a bigger dinner date could wait till later. Leon didn’t want to drag his brother around all day on an empty stomach just to go out with a bang for dinner, but as they walked across the street to one of his favorite curry places, he had a passing thought of—why couldn’t he cook for him at home? A dinner date could still be a dinner date at the apartment. They didn’t have to go out, dress all fancy just to eat a meal.

Thoughts like that were tantalizing in their own way, but Leon tried to bite them down as he held the door open for Hop upon entering the restaurant. It wasn’t a big fancy place by any means, but a crowd of people had gathered, just in time for the lunch rush. That was a bit annoying, but it couldn’t be helped.

At the request of Leon, he managed to snag them a more private area off in the corner, away from most of the crowds. He didn’t really know if Hop was shy around a lot of people like this, but it wasn’t like they were doing anything out of the ordinary. They were just eating lunch, same as everyone else.

“Eat all you want.” Leon didn’t hold back from ordering a bunch of food all at once. Though Hop seemed a little wary about eating at first, eventually he got loosened up enough where he began shoveling food down his gullet like he hadn’t had a proper meal in weeks.

A tightening sensation coiled at Leon’s throat as he thought—that might have been true. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d watched Hop eat with this much gusto, maybe before when he and Hop had eaten at Motostoke did he remember seeing his brother full of life like this, enjoying his meal to the fullest, and not holding back from eating seconds.

Conversation was a bit awkward to say the least, as Leon couldn’t really get his brother engaged in—well, _anything_. The longer they sat eating, enjoying the curry, the lively atmosphere around them, the more relaxed he could tell Hop was getting, and it made him want to try pushing the boundaries, try to get Hop comfortable enough to have a proper conversation with him. Though it felt awkward and more like small talk to ask him how things were, Leon bit at his lip before taking a gulp of his water.

“Have you been keeping up with the gym challengers this time around? Raihan tells me they’re a bit to be desired.” It felt weird to be bringing up Raihan of all people when this was supposed to be a date between the two of them, but Leon wasn’t sure what else to talk about.

But, Hop nodded, picking at the remainder of his curry, though still refusing to meet Leon’s eye. That was starting to bother him the more it happened, but he fought with every fiber of his being not to let it show. If Hop would just _look at him_ , just give him the courtesy of looking him in the eye when he talked to him, he wouldn’t be growing irritated. Getting cross was the last thing Leon wanted to do today of all days, but he bit the blood from his lip to keep from getting that way and remain neutral. Calm and collected. That’s all he had to be.

Leon cleared his throat before speaking again. “So, how did you sleep last night?” The fact Hop had been cold to the touch this morning weighed on his mind, and he made it a point to remind himself to turn the heat up a bit higher tonight.

“Fine.”

“You weren’t cold, were you?”

Hop shook his head, taking another bite of rice before setting his spoon down. “No.”

These one note replies were starting to get to him and Leon let out a sigh, wishing Hop would engage more. It wasn’t much of a date if he couldn’t get the date to talk to him in the first place. Though today was meant to be something fun that allowed Hop to let loose and enjoy himself, it wasn’t doing much good.

The rest of lunch passed by, with Leon leading the conversation for the most part, receiving occasional one worded responses from Hop, but he tried to tell himself it was better than silence. They left the restaurant, stomachs full and Leon himself felt a lot better with renewed energy, even going as far as letting Hop’s attitude roll off his back as they walked down the sidewalk toward one of the bridges that led to the hotel.

The sun only creeped lower as they walked, Leon pointing at things here and there as they went, hoping to get Hop excited at least a little. Wyndon was a pretty huge place, and Leon often found himself getting lost in the bigger parts of the city, but as long as he didn’t stray away from his apartment too far, he had gotten a lot better about finding his way around. He had only been living here for years, it was high time he knew where some things were by now.

They walked in and out of stores when it got too cold on the street, Leon pointing out things he thought Hop might like, but not gaining much of a reaction as a result. He had wanted him to be comfortable enough telling him things he wanted, but it just wasn’t happening. That didn’t stop Leon from trying his damndest when he found something adorable, or even remotely Hop-like to show to him, but Hop mostly shrugged, shook his head, or nodded occasionally anytime Leon attempted anything like that.

It was exhausting trying to keep a high energy mood with Hop being down in the dumps. He really hoped by taking him out that Hop would snap out of it, at least for a little while, and quit being so uptight about everything, and learn to enjoy himself, but no matter how much he tried, Leon knew he couldn’t force his brother to have fun like this. All he could do was be patient with him as they walked around, keep a positive attitude, and hope Hop would come around eventually.

A chilling breeze blew through, causing Leon to huddle down deep into his coat. They had been walking around all day, stopping in stores every once in awhile, and he had at least two big bags full of clothes and other things for Hop. He had taken it upon himself to buy things for him since Hop wasn’t giving him anything but shrugs, head shakes, or the like.

Though.

Glancing over at Hop from the corner of his eye, Leon couldn’t help but blush slightly at the sight of Hop clutching onto a Wooloo plush he had bought him just now. The moment he saw it, he knew Hop had to have it, and bought it without even thinking, getting so excited when he handed it to him. For a moment, he thought he saw Hop’s face lift a little, just a little, and while Leon would have wanted nothing more than to see him smile, he held onto the doll, saying a very quiet ‘thanks’ before growing stiff and silent once more. Maybe that was progress, but Leon couldn’t be sure.

Still, Hop looked so _adorable_ holding onto that thing that Leon felt his chest swell at the sight of it, wanting to scoop him up in his arms and pepper his face with kisses. Maybe it was silly to buy his brother a toy like that, but Leon thought it suited him too much not to. Yes, he was a teenager, probably thought dolls like that were way beneath him, but it at least made Leon feel better seeing him hold onto it like he was. Not exactly clinging, but he had it tucked under his arm as he too huddled under his coat.

Hop was just too cute. He would probably never realize how cute he was when he did things like that, but Leon willed away thoughts like that before he got carried away and they stopped on the bridge, the sun just shy of setting, having coated the sky in a distinct orange and blue. They had been all around, mostly walking the majority of the day, and while they really had only been shopping, Leon fought to think of what else they could do. This wasn’t the romantic day out he had been hoping it would be, but that could be blamed partially on Hop as well.

He just wasn’t talking to him. Leon had done his best, holding open doors for him, buying him gifts and clothes, showing him around the place, but he wasn’t allowed to hold his hand, kiss him, or say anything to him without knowing it would freak him out. This had ended up being more of a casual day out than a date, but Leon let out a sigh. It couldn’t be helped.

Just when he was about to turn heel and make to head back to the apartment, something caught out of the corner of Leon’s eye and he turned to spot the Ferris wheel off in the distance, not far from the Battle Tower.

Leon perked up, not able to hide the smile growing on his face when he whipped around to Hop. “Do you wanna go on the Ferris wheel? It goes up really high, you can see all of Wyndon from there.”

Hop shrugged.

That was all the affirmation Leon needed before he dragged the both of them off toward the Battle Tower. From his apartment to here wasn’t that long of a walk, but he still got a bit winded by the time they reached the monorail that could take them the rest of the way. Wyndon wasn’t exactly known for its attractions, being mostly a city people came to for tournaments and whatnot, not an amusement park, but Leon indulged from time to time, and right now, he figured the perfect way to end the night was going to be allowing Hop to see the entire city from up high.

It was the perfect time of day too. The sun was just setting, the lights from the city just beginning to light up underneath the orange sky. If anything, Leon figured this would surely set the mood for romance. He had to stifle his own laugh at the thought of what he was doing. It was so crazy, thinking of romancing Hop, but he couldn’t help it.

His brother made him crazy.

The Ferris wheel was free to ride, and what felt like seconds flat, Leon and Hop were ushered into the compartment, the door being closed behind them as they sat side by side, Hop seeming shy as he glanced out the glass when they began to rise. Leon was beside himself, feeling giddy the higher they got, and the idea of them being alone like this, Leon being in a compartment with his brother like this, he couldn’t help it when as they slowly began to ascend above the buildings, he reached over to hold Hop’s hand.

The intake of breath Hop made was loud enough he heard, his grip on his Wooloo toy tightening, but Leon smiled at him.

“It’s okay. Nobody can see us up here.” Maybe Hop was just shy after all, but that didn’t stop Leon from feeling how he tensed under him. He had been holding back on touching him all day, and dammit, his resolve was crumbling, especially with Hop this close, the sides of his hips digging into Leon’s as they sat next to each other.

The noises of the city began to fade away as they rose, soon high enough to see the Wyndon stadium from where they were, and the lights from below them looked like a galaxy of stars. The sun had dipped enough the night sky wasn’t too far off, but while the scenery outside of the compartment was a sight to behold, Leon couldn’t take his eyes off Hop.

Rubbing circles on top of his knuckles with his thumb, he leaned in, kissing the side of his face, and inhaled the scent on him. Hop hadn’t smelled like sugar for awhile, much to Leon’s disappointment, but he hated to admit knowing Hop had used his wash and shampoo turned him on just as well. Hop flinched when he kissed him, but didn’t pull away, though Leon could feel his hand underneath his own stiffen.

“U-um, Lee?”

“Mm?” He brushed his nose over Hop’s hair before dipping to kiss the edge of his ear, causing Hop to shiver.

“C-can I ask you something?”

He pulled away, a bit surprised by this, but definitely not complaining. “Of course. What’s on your mind?”

“Um.” Blush coated Hop’s cheeks, and he didn’t know it, but he was making it incredibly hard for Leon to hold back. Just kissing him like this, being alone with him for the first time all day was already hard for Leon to control himself, but he kept telling himself he could indulge all he wanted to later that night.

For a moment, Hop didn’t say anything, but when Leon moved back in to kiss his cheek, causing him to freeze again, Hop finally turned to meet Leon’s eye. “You tell me all the time that you love me, right?”

Leon nodded. “I _do_ love you, Hop.”

He swallowed, eyes shifting to the side for a split second before meeting Leon’s again. “Why?”

 _Why_? How could Hop even ask him that when Leon wanted to say— _everything_. Everything about his brother, he adored and cherished. From his looks, as Hop was no doubt the cutest and most adorable thing he’d ever seen, to his kindness, his personality—Hop had no idea he carried an air about him that made people gravitate toward him. He drew people in with his smile, his warmth, and it had taken Leon way too long to realize how great of a person he was.

Even when he was fighting him, saying hurtful things, and pushing Leon away, he still loved him.

So, he shrugged, closing his eyes for a moment before letting out a soft laugh through his nose. “Because you once believed in me long before anyone else did.”

All those years ago, when Hop was still very young, and Leon was just an adolescent, only his brother had looked up at him with that sparkle in his eye, only his brother cheered for him, told him how much he loved him, how he believed in him, how he was his biggest fan. Only Hop went out of his way to let Leon know how appreciated he was, how much he inspired him to be a better person, and how he thought Leon was the greatest trainer ever long before he even became the champion.

And all that time, Leon had taken it for granted. He saw those looks his brother gave him as something cute and naïve. Something to be brushed off, because he was just a little kid head over heels, he said things he didn’t actually believe, he built up Leon to be one of the most amazing people ever, when he knew that wasn’t true.

But, Hop never stopped. Hop still thought the world of him, even when he lost his title, he showered Leon with praise, with adoration. Leon was his hero, through and through, and he never once thought that could become jeopardized. Only when Hop had eyes for someone else did Leon realize—he had _adored_ him. He took for granted the looks Hop gave him, the words of praise he bellowed out for him, the collection of his matches that broadcasted on the telly, the magazines he’d appeared in, all the support he ever got from Hop—and Leon squandered it. He always thought Hop would look up at him with that adoration, those bright eyes that worshipped him, and Leon never once thanked him for it. Never once gave back all Hop had given him.

And now.

He opened his eyes, the warmth surrounding him as they reached the highest peak the Ferris wheel could go. Now, he realized just how important Hop was to him. He didn’t want to lose him to anybody else, and only when Hop began thinking of other people did Leon realize how jealous he was, how he wanted to keep Hop all to himself, how nobody else was allowed to receive Hop’s admiration like that— _because it all belonged to Leon._

Nobody would ever appreciate him like Leon would. He regretted it, he regretted it to think of all those years he brushed his brother aside, not giving him much of a thought, putting him in the back of his mind where he often forgot he even existed—but, Leon wasn’t going to make that mistake anymore.

He loved him. He really did. Leon loved his brother with every bit of his being, every ounce of his body, he loved him.

Clutching Hop’s hand again, he moved in for another kiss, despite the way Hop tensed, he could ignore it for now as he kissed his forehead. “You’re kind. You were kind to me before, and I took it for granted. I neglected you for so long, Hop, I don’t ever want to do that again.” Leon pulled away, his expression softened as he looked down at Hop with lidded eyes and a flushed face. “I don’t want to lose you. You’re too precious to me.”

It was the truth. Leon wanted to make it up to him, despite everything that happened, despite all the things Hop had to deal with, Leon wanted him to enjoy life, he wanted to give him things that would make him happy, and above all else—

He just wanted Hop to know how badly he loved him.

* * *

The apartment was dark and quiet when they entered through the front door, Leon flicking on the light overhead where they could see what they were doing. The streetlights from outside could faintly be seen from the window, but it wasn’t enough to go by. Setting the bags by the door, Leon stood to the side as Hop walked by him, still holding onto his toy Wooloo before he stripped Leon’s coat off himself.

“You hungry?” He took the coat Hop handed him before hooking it on the coatrack, closing his front door and locking it.

“Not really.” Hop stood on knobby knees, having not said much to Leon since they stepped off the Ferris wheel, and adamantly avoided eye contact with him the rest of the way back to the apartment. Though, Leon could see being back here had made him relax a little, it still wasn’t good enough for his tastes. All day, Hop had been tucked too far into his shell, refusing to come out, and only calming down for a brief while when they were in the Ferris wheel. It should have made Leon happy he allowed him to kiss him as much as he did, though he didn’t get to kiss him on the mouth like he wanted, having Hop sit there for him when he played with his hair, held his hand, and gush about how much he loved him was good enough.

“Me either honestly.” They had eaten a rather large lunch, and even though Leon had wanted to treat Hop to a romantic dinner, that wasn’t going to be the case. But, that didn’t mean they couldn’t snack on sweets in the meantime. Just as Leon was about to offer Hop some sweets, he’d only managed to open his mouth before Hop cut him off.

“I’m gonna go shower.”

Leon closed his mouth before nodding. “Okay. I’ll take your stuff to your room.”

He watched as Hop, stuffed Wooloo still tucked under his arm, made his way to his room to grab his pajamas before Leon followed in after him, clutching the bags full of clothes and all the other things he’d bought him. Setting his Wooloo on the bed, Hop walked past Leon one final time before making his way into the bathroom, and within seconds, Leon heard the shower running.

He let out a sigh as he unpacked the clothes from the bags, wondering if Hop would ever even wear this stuff. It wasn’t outlandish by any means, but he had bought him rather expensive brands. A few shirts, some pants, and pajamas was all he’d managed to snag, but Hop wasn’t giving him any hints as to what he even liked, so all Leon could do was hope for the best and assume Hop would wear this stuff at some point.

As he tidied about, hanging Hop’s shirts up, folding his pajamas into the drawers for him, and even going so far as to smooth his blankets and sheets out for him, Leon bit his lip at all that had happened today. It wasn’t the romantic fantasy date he’d been hoping it would be, but it wasn’t like it was a disaster either. In his mind, he had pictured a romantic day out where Hop was smiling, clinging to him, and growing excited at the prospect of being in Wyndon, begging Leon to take him places and show him around.

Though, Leon hadn’t expected Hop to change overnight, he still wished he had been a bit more enthused. Hop’s depressed mood was making Leon sad, and he wasn’t even _sad_. Quite the contrary, having Hop here made him happier than he’d been in a long time, but he knew it would be even better when Hop finally came around.

Because he would. Hop would come around. Leon knew it. Maybe not today, tomorrow, or the coming weeks from now, but eventually, Hop was going to realize this was his permanent home, he was going to realize Leon loved him very much, and he would realize that he loved Leon just as much, maybe even ten times more than Leon ever could.

Stepping out of his brother’s room, Leon closed the door behind him, still aware of the shower on the other side of the bathroom door, but he tried to ignore the scent of his shampoo wafting under the door as he walked past, heading to the sofa and turning on the telly. Leon had never watched the telly this much since Hop arrived, but he wasn’t even really watching it, it was just something to occupy his mind with. Normally in his downtime, he’d be hanging out with Raihan, going out for drinks, or playing on his phone, but he was always so engrossed in his work that he didn’t really have time to indulge in his own hobbies.

That was before he fell in love with Hop though. Could Hop be considered one of his hobbies? Leon had to let out a soft laugh at the thought of that. He really had been focusing all his attention on his brother lately, but it wasn’t like that was a bad thing. It made him happy to take care of Hop like this, fold his clothes, tidy his room up. Maybe he was mothering him too much, but Leon loved it.

The shower cut off, and Leon tensed when he could hear Hop shuffling around in the bathroom. In only a few minutes, the door opened, the heat of the steam rushing out, and Leon was struck by the heavy scent of shampoo and soaps. Sweat prickled on his neck, and before he could stop himself, he called out, “Hop?”

His footsteps shifted before Hop poked his head from around the corner, and though he wasn’t looking at him, Leon could see water droplets still beading his forehead, his hair wet, but spiked from being towel dried, and the second his brother rounded that corner, Leon was hit with the scent of him. He couldn’t help himself. Seeing Hop dressed in his pajama bottoms, a large t-shirt that was just shy of falling off his shoulder, face flushed from the hot water and— _the fucking way he smelled_ —Leon was about to lose his mind, but he bit his lip.

“Wh-why don’t you come sit with me? We can watch a movie.”

Hop shook his head. “I’m going to bed.”

Leon was getting desperate, though Hop didn’t seem to notice the way he gripped his own pants to keep from grabbing hold of him and pushing him down _right this second_ because he wanted to fuck him so badly, Leon swallowed. “Come on. It’s too early for bedtime. Just for a little while?” He tried to give him a smile, but no matter how hard he tried, Leon only cringed at the fact his resolve was crashing, and he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back any longer. “Please?”

If Hop had turned to go back to his bedroom, Leon would have done it. He would have jumped up, grabbed his brother by his arm, pushed him against the wall and kissed him, gone at him like some kind of wild animal as he fucked him into the floor—he would have. Leon knew he would have, because his control was almost gone by this point. He’d been holding back, he’d been holding back for two whole fucking weeks, to have Hop finally here, damp from his shower, smelling the way he did, and looking so cute in those clothes—Leon wanted fuck him more than anything right now.

But, Hop didn’t turn away. Letting out a soft sigh, he crossed the room, walking past Leon before he settled down on the couch, and it was even worse now. With Hop sitting next to him, Leon could feel his desire swallowing him whole, and he was surprised as hell he hadn’t grown an erection the moment Hop’s weight dipped into the couch just to every so slightly pull him up with it, but it was a miracle he was still flaccid right now.

More sweat prickled his forehead, and he fought with shaky hands to lift the remote and change the channel, trying not to let the presence of Hop overwhelm him. If only he could get Hop to go along with him, if only Hop would agree to this with him, he wouldn’t be suffering so much right now, fighting back the urge to go at him like this.

“D-did you have fun today?” Try as he might to make idle conversation, Leon was sweating, clenching the remote in his hands so hard he was sure it was going to break.

Hop shrugged. “I guess.”

“You guess?” Any other time, Leon would have pressed him, tried to get him to talk to him, but right now, he was fighting with every urge in his body not to hold his brother down and fuck him. When on earth did his lust get so insatiable like this? Leon never— _ever_ —remembered a time he had gotten this horny before. Even during those one night stands, even when he was making out with Raihan, he had indulged in his lust, but it was never this bad before.

Hop really was like a drug, making him excited like this.

If he didn’t calm down, he might end up hurting his brother, and that was the last thing Leon ever wanted to do. Sucking in a breath, he counted to ten before letting it out, trying to quell his desires, trying to calm himself long enough to think rationally about this. He had to be slow about this, as the moment Hop had chosen to sat down with him, he planned to make love to him, but he couldn’t go at him the way he wanted. He had to make sure Hop was comfortable too, he had to make sure he enjoyed himself.

Maybe that could be his final expression of love to Hop for the evening, to fuck him properly, not like the time before when they were in the tent, but go slow, be gentle with him, and make sure Hop understood that something like this wasn’t bad, it wasn’t scary, and Leon wasn’t scary either.

Without being able to hold himself back any longer, and not that Hop seemed to be interested in talking to him in the first place, Leon reached over, putting his hand over Hop’s, noting how he tensed as he dragged his thumb along the edge of his knuckles. His brother sucked in a small, sharp intake of breath, but Leon let out a laugh through his nose.

“It’s okay, Hop. Nobody can see us in here.” Even if they could, it wasn’t like Leon was shy about showing off how he, and only he, was allowed to touch his brother like this.

Trying to ignore how Hop stiffened underneath him, he tried to play it cool, tried to be nonchalant about it as he scooted a bit closer to him until he and Hop’s thighs were pressed together, and if Leon couldn’t smell him before, being this close, he most certainly could now. Hop didn’t move a muscle, frozen even as Leon leaned over to him and kissed the side of his head. Only a small intake of breath was his response, but it was better than having Hop push him away altogether.

“I’m happy you’re here with me, Hop.” He kissed between breaths as he spoke, allowing himself to indulge a bit more as Hop remained lax, though still frozen, still tensed. “I missed you so much the past two weeks. You don’t know how hard it was to resist coming down there and taking you away.”

Hop made a small noise from the back of his throat as he trailed his kisses down the side of his neck, before trying to wrap his arm around him and pull him close. Leon knew he was getting a little too carried away, but he couldn’t help it. He’d been fighting to keep himself in check for too long, and now that Hop was right here with him, right next to him, freshly showered and smelling so thick of shampoo that Leon felt like it was suffocating him, he couldn’t hold back.

Pulling Hop’s face around by gripping his chin, Leon pressed his mouth to his, kissing maybe a little too hard as he noticed when he did, Hop made a groan of protest, his hands coming up to push against Leon’s chest. But, Leon leaned even further into him, gripping the back of his head when Hop managed to pull away from him, and he laughed.

“You’re still so shy about kissing. It’s adorable, honestly.” Without waiting for Hop to reply, his hand still on the back of his head to keep him in place, Leon pressed his mouth against him once again, tasting the mint of his toothpaste and couldn’t help to grind into him when he did, feeling himself already getting hard. Hop shouldn’t have had this kind of effect on him, but Leon didn’t really care if his brother got him off way too easily. Nobody else had ever held this much power over Leon enough to make his knees weak, his heart race, and his stomach flutter by simply kissing them.

Hop really was amazing.

There was only a small amount of resistance as Hop tried to pull away from him, but Leon soon broke the kiss, his face flushed, smiling when Hop’s cheeks were red, but he let out a small laugh. “You really are beautiful, do you know that, Hop? You’re beautiful.”

Hop let out a small gasp when Leon grinded into him, and he pulled away enough from him that Leon had to reach up to grip hold of his arm to keep him from running off. Though, they both knew if Leon really wanted to— _really, **really**_ wanted to, he could just hold him down and fuck him.

“Don’t be scared, Hop. I’m not going to treat you the way I did before.” He bit his lip, trying not to think back to memories like that, because even though he knew deep down he never once hurt Hop, he wasn’t going to deny he had been rough with him in the past. “I’ll go slow this time, I promise.”

It should have put him at ease, but the way Hop’s face drew up, eyes wide, the color draining from his face until Leon thought he might pass out, he could feel him begin to shake. He opened his mouth a few times as though to say something, but whatever it was, his lip quivered before he bit his bottom lip, finally settling on turning off to the side to face the telly that had become nothing but background noise at this point.

Leon reached up to brush his damp hair to the side, but with Hop’s lack of communication, he leaned in again, kissing his neck and gaining a strangled gasp from his brother before he finally pushed at him again. “Wait, Lee—I thought that—” He shivered as, even when he pushed against him, Leon hadn’t stopped kissing, and dragged his tongue up the side of his throat, enjoying way too much how he tasted. His skin was warm, soft from his shower, and there was an indescribable way that he tasted, not like anything Leon could compare it with, but something pleasant.

“You thought what?” He drew up long enough to ask, before pressing his tongue back against Hop’s neck, enjoying the way he shivered underneath him, his breath hitching in his throat—and did those sounds drive Leon _wild_. Hop was inadvertently turning him on and he didn’t even know it.

“Th-that you…wouldn’t do this anymore.”

That made him stop, Leon drawing back, still gripping Hop by his arms and now staring back at him, wishing Hop would turn and face him when he spoke. “Why would you think that?”

His lip quivered. “M-Mum was—”

“I don’t have anymore to say about what happened with Mum. It’s over and done with. What happened was horrible and I’m sorry she did that to you, but—” Leon sucked in a breath, trying not to let this irritate him, but with his growing desire, his insatiable lust he had been keeping at bay for two weeks now, it was incredibly difficult not to go at Hop with everything he had. “I’m not going to hurt you. I know you’re shy about this, but trust me, Hop.” He forced a smile, trying to ease his brother’s worries, trying to calm him down long enough for Leon to work. “I promise I won’t hurt you. I just want to show you how much I love you and that this is something that can feel good. I’ve made you feel good before, right?” There was no way he could lie about that. Not after Leon saw how he sounded and looked after he came.

With his face growing ever more red, Hop’s eyes shined as tears formed, but he blinked them away. “I-I can’t stop thinking about it, Lee.”

“About what?” He held him, even in this position, even with Hop still pulling from him as though more out of reflex than any attempt to actually get away, Leon held onto him tight.

“The night in the tent. I just—” Hop bit his lip, finally lowering his face as his blush grew, until almost his entire face was red. “Lee, whatever I’ve done to you, I’m sorry. I never wanted things to be like this with you.”

“Hop, what—” He wanted to ask why on earth Hop was apologizing, but he was cut off.

“If I gave you some mixed signals somewhere down the road, I promise I wasn’t trying to! I never meant for you to get the wrong idea, I swear!” The way his voice was slowly climbing as he gripped Leon by the sleeves, squeezing, even in this position, even as Hop leaned up into his face, Leon could feel the desperation as he clung to him, hear the way his voice was starting to crack as he was just short of shouting at him.

“You didn’t—” But, every time he tried to speak, Hop interrupted him.

“Lee, I promise, I swear to you all those times we hung out, all the things I said to you, I wasn’t trying to tell you anything by it, I wasn’t trying to lead you on or seduce you—”

Leon couldn’t help the way his throat tightened at those words, but Hop didn’t appear to notice how stiff he’d gotten as his voice only continued to climb higher and higher.

“—so please, I don’t know what I did, but I never wanted this type of thing with you. I-I never wanted you to see me like that, I never wanted any of this, Lee!”

It hurt him to hear his brother spill all these confessions onto him like this, especially when Leon was still so excited for him that even this, even seeing his brother break down like this, wasn’t enough to quell his desires. Leon was still hard, maybe even more so now that Hop had started to grip hold of his sleeves the way he was, squeezing, holding on for dear life as though Leon would disappear.

“Lee.” With the hysterics finally stifling from his voice, but not quite free of the strangled way he was speaking, Hop lifted his head to stare Leon in the eye, the tears he’d blinked away earlier resurfacing again. “I love you, Lee, I really do.”

His chest quaked at the sound of those words, those wonderful, beautiful words, and Leon couldn’t help but blush at them, feeling a real smile form. “I love you too, Hop.”

“But.” His grip on Leon’s sleeve waned, and he could feel him shaking. “Not like this. Please, Lee. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I made you this way. I miss you so much, I can’t stand it, but—” The tears fell, finally spilling from the corners of his eyes as Hop began to sob in front of him. “I-I don’t want to do this with you. Please, don’t make me have sex with you again.”

“Hop.” He couldn’t help it. Even through Hop’s tears, his sobs, the way he held onto him like this, shaking as his shoulders bobbed up and down, Leon couldn’t bite down his desire for him, his lust for his brother, his overwhelming feeling of love for him that he just wanted to show him wasn’t a bad thing. “It won’t be like last time. I’m not going to hold you down like that ever again.” Rough, he had been too rough with him, allowing himself to become so overwhelmed with his love that he destroyed Hop’s trust in him. “I’ll be slow. I won’t do anything scary.”

Shaking, still shaking, Hop swallowed, lip quivering as the tears continued to dribble down his face, but he sniffled before opening his mouth. “Y-you’re still going to do it? You’re really going to do it?”

Leon nodded. “Yes.” But, he pulled Hop into him, wrapping his arms around his brother. So frail, so thin, but feeling as though he belonged here. Hop belonged in Leon’s arms like this, wrapped up this way, head pulled into Leon’s chest, even as he felt him shudder, he _belonged_ here.

“L-Lee…” A violent shiver ran through him as Leon began to rock him back and forth, trying to calm him down, trying to soothe him enough to realize this wasn’t scary. “Wh-what can I do so you won’t do this? I-I don’t know what to do anymore, Lee.”

“You don’t have to do anything.” He inhaled the scent of shampoo from the top of Hop’s head, and shivered when it went straight to his erection. “Just enjoy it.”

“I’m scared, Lee.” Hop’s sobs were slowly fading away, but Leon could still hear him sniffling, still feel the way he was shaking in his arms, but he rubbed his back, rocked him back and forth as he shushed him. “Lee, please, I-I don’t care if you want to kiss me all night, o-or hold me like this, b-but—” He shuddered, his entire body quaking with it. “I don’t feel the same way about you.”

_It…_

It _hurt_.

Leon sucked in a breath when those words pierced right through him, as though Hop had actually stabbed him with something, but he held onto him tight, despite Hop’s shivers, despite his protests, he didn’t let go.

“Don’t say that, Hop. You aren’t even trying, when I’ve done everything for you, when I love you so much, and you won’t even try to like this?” He was getting upset. The worst thing he could do right now was let his emotions take over and get upset at Hop, but he swallowed down the pain in his chest as though Hop had just broken his heart—just from those words alone. As much as it hurt, he couldn’t let it get to him. Hop was just upset—Hop didn’t mean it—Hop was just afraid right now and he was saying things he didn’t mean. He didn’t mean it. He loved him. Hop _loved_ him.

Pulling away, Leon gripped hold of him again, noting how Hop had fallen more slumped in his arms over time, but with tear streaks now staining his face, he had stopped crying as much, his eyes bloodshot.

“Hop, just try.”

His lip quivered when he went to open his mouth, but Leon cut him off.

“Please, Hop. Let me show you how good this can be. I promise I’ll go slow with you, I promise I won’t hurt you. I won’t hold you down like I did before, but—” Leon gave him a hard stare, his grip tightening around his arms. “At least try to like it?”

“This isn’t right, Lee.” Hop, though still shivering, his tears stagnate, and his grip having broken away from Leon’s sleeve, looked up at him, not once breaking eye contact. “ _Please_.”

“Don’t worry.” Try as he might, through Leon’s smile that was meant to reassure him, he knew wasn’t genuine enough, not now. He couldn’t bring himself to muster one, not even for Hop. “I love you, Hop. It’ll be okay.”

Hop said nothing. Lowering his head, his body grew strangely lax in Leon’s hold, and he only let out a few sniffles before Leon leaned into him, kissed the side of his neck, moving up to kiss the tears that stained his cheeks, such a salty taste compared to the rest of him, before he pulled them both up off the couch, lifting Hop into his arms.

His brother was way too light, maybe from weight loss, or maybe Leon was stronger than he realized, but he cradled him bridal style as he held him up, taking only a moment to flick the telly off before he carried Hop down the hallway toward his bedroom. Maybe it was cruel to walk as slow as he was, as Leon couldn’t deny holding him like this was nice, even as he craned his neck down to brush a small kiss against the side of his head, Hop didn’t move.

Breathing short fast intakes, Hop had reached up only to cling to Leon’s shirt, but he could feel him shivering in his arms as he carried him. It shouldn’t have made him this happy, but holding Hop like this was somehow so intimate, something he knew he shouldn’t have been doing, but something Leon was all too glad to do at the same time. It felt perverse in a strange way, even though they had already had sex, he had seen the most intimate parts of his brother he wasn’t supposed to ever see, but holding him this way—Leon cupped him tighter—it made him smile.

After what felt like a much longer walk than intended, Leon was opening the door to his bedroom. It was about as large as his bedroom back at home, though with a much bigger bed, and no small amount of snap backs hung around the walls. He had a desk, his computer, all the necessities, and yet, this was a room he had been avoiding for the past two weeks. The bed was neatly made, having not been touched that entire time, and he took only a moment to turn his bedside lamp on, illuminating the room in a soft glow, before placing Hop down on his bed.

His brother stared up at the ceiling, lying flat on his back, but unmoving even as Leon began to crawl on top of him. Now straddling him, Leon couldn’t bite down the blush that coated his face, and he smiled.

“You’re beautiful, Hop.”

The only response from his brother was a mild shiver. Even when Leon bent down to kiss him, run his fingers through his hair and breathe in that scent that was driving him wild, Hop didn’t move. It was a small gripe on his end, wishing Hop would look at him with something other than that horrified expression, but even Leon could see that he was exhausted, having cried himself out, emotionally spent, and in just more ways than one. It seemed all Hop had done since Leon had him up here with him was cry, but he hoped that would change soon.

Hop didn’t pull away, even as Leon kissed his mouth, trailing down to suck the side of his neck. No longer did he have to worry about holding back, and he planned to cover Hop in as many hickeys as possible tonight. That way, the world would know he belonged to Leon when they saw those marks. Marks only Leon was allowed to make, marks meant only for Hop. It would be proof of his love, proof of their lovemaking, and only Leon would know every time he saw them, only he would know the true joy of having seen his brother this way.

A small gasp came from Hop as he sucked his neck, and he could have sworn he felt him twitch underneath him, but all Hop had done was remain stiff, which Leon didn’t mind, but he wished he would have been a bit more eager. Maybe rubbed up into him, as Leon had been hard this entire time, maybe Hop could relieve some of that aching desire on his end, but—

With that thought in mind, Leon leaned away, having sucked multiple parts of Hop’s neck and shoulders, knowing eventually the marks would begin to show, but this satisfied him for now. He smiled down at him, noting how Hop had turned away the entire time he sucked at him, and was looking off in the distance at some random part of his room.

“You’re doing good, Hop.” At least he wasn’t fighting him, pulling away and screaming, but Leon honestly didn’t know if this was worse or not. It was like the life was sucked from him, and he was merely existing, not moving a muscle as Leon grinded into him, though he could just hear the small, almost silent breaths he made each time Leon did that. At least when he fought him, Hop was _alive_ , bursting with life and energy, but Leon had to shake his head to himself. This wasn’t a bad thing. Far from it.

Gripping hold of his brother’s hand, Leon linked their fingers together for a moment, giving him a reassuring squeeze before he kissed his knuckles.

“I really missed you, Hop. I thought about you every day, sometimes I even dreamed about you when I slept.” He let out a laugh, feeling a bit embarrassed he was admitting things like that to him, but also knowing he could tell Hop anything without having to worry about what he might say. “I wouldn’t even touch myself until I got you here.”

Hop tensed, but didn’t move.

“I wanted to, but I wanted to save it for you.” Two weeks had been too long for Leon to go without giving himself any release. He was pent up, ready to explode, ready to show Hop just how much he missed him. But, as he sat there straddling him, feeling Hop tremble underneath him, but still unmoving, he unhooked their fingers long enough to take Hop’s hand in his own and drag it across his mouth. “You can touch me, Hop. I don’t mind.”

Not responding, not that Leon expected him to, Hop only continued staring off into space, but Leon could see him clench his jaw.

Letting out a small laugh, Leon straightened out Hop’s fingers, taking hold of his palm as he slid his hand along the corners of his face, across his facial hair. “I’ll help you then.” Being as slow and deliberate as he could, biting down his growing desire long enough to remember he was supposed to be gentle with Hop, Leon led his hand down his chin, to his throat, stopping when Hop’s finger hooked the collar of his shirt.

Leon gave another laugh, wishing Hop would look at him. “These might cause a problem, right?” Releasing Hop’s hand only for a moment, he took the time to pull his shirt over his head, exposing his bare chest, tossing the shirt off the side of the bed, and smiling when he once again took hold of Hop’s hand, letting him touch his clavicle, the top of his chest, not able to hide the laugh in the back of his throat when he could hear Hop make a strangled sort of sound as he brushed the pads of his fingers across his own nipples.

Hop’s fingers curled in when he did that, but Leon only unfolded them again, straightening his hand back out before leading him back across his chest.

“See, Hop? This isn’t scary. It’s just touch. It doesn’t hurt, it’s not bad, and it feels good, right?” The only response he got was a sharp intake of breath from Hop as he led his fingers down to his stomach, being very deliberate in the way that he straightened Hop’s hand enough to feel his nails drag across his skin. Leon hated admitting that turned him on, but it would have turned him on even more if Hop was doing this of his own volition. But, doing it for him worked just as well.

As he worked, going lower and lower each second that passed, Hop’s hand began to shake in his own, and he could feel a bit of resistance when he finally dragged his fingers across the top of his pants.

Leon looked up, still holding onto him, but paused, frowning at the way Hop hadn’t once moved his gaze from across the room.

“Hop.” Taking his opposite hand, Leon reached up to cup the side of his face, pulling him so that he faced him, but Hop’s gaze remained on some random area of his room. “Hop, look at me.” He grinded into him a little, gauging a small twitch from his brother. “Please?”

Slowly, Hop drew his eyes away from whatever was so interesting on the wall, and met Leon’s. He seemed to have stopped breathing in that moment, as he grew completely still, but Leon gave him a smile.

“Hop, I want you to know I wouldn’t do this with anyone else.” Well, it was a lie to say he had _never_ done this before, but it wasn’t a lie to say he enjoyed doing it with Hop the most. When it was with Hop, there was _feeling_ behind it, not just physical and sexual lust, but Leon could feel it in his entire body that he loved him. He wouldn’t take his time this way if it was with anyone else. For it to be with Hop, he would take all the time he needed.

His brother didn’t respond, but didn’t turn his gaze away from him either.

“Lean up for a moment.” Releasing his hand, Leon pulled himself off his brother, trying to entice him to work with him and lean back, but he paused for a moment before Leon gave him a smile. “It’s okay. Come on, Hop.” He gripped him by the arm, pulling Hop slowly off the bed until he was in a seated position, Leon smiling at him when he took him by the hand again, kissing the top. Slowly, as slowly as he could muster, Leon pulled Hop’s shirt up, getting him to raise his arms long enough to get it off him before he tossed it over the side of the bed to meet with his own discarded shirt.

He couldn’t help but marvel at Hop. How was it possible for someone to be so small compared to him? Hop wasn’t bone thin by any means, but he was still too skinny for Leon’s liking, and compared to him, the size difference between them drove him wild. If he had no idea who Hop was and just met him on the street, he would have never believed this boy to be someone about to turn fifteen years old. Maybe if there was more meat on his bones and he grew a couple of inches would Leon start believing he was as old as he was.

“You’re beautiful.” It seemed so silly to keep saying that to him, but Leon meant it. Hop really was beautiful. Too skinny, but still perfect. The blush that coated his brother’s face made him smile. Maybe Hop really was bashful when it came to compliments, but it only gave Leon another reason to love him. He had no idea how acting so shy like this turned Leon on, but it did, and he leaned into him, kissing Hop on the mouth before pulling away.

Once again, Hop had turned his gaze down, but he didn’t lean away from him, even as Leon moved into him and began pulling him close, almost in his lap. He placed his hand on Hop’s chest, awestricken by how large it was in comparison to his brother’s body. Never did it occur to him just how much smaller Hop was than him, but with the both of them shirtless now, It was more apparent than ever that Hop was almost _dainty_.

Dragging his hand up along Hop’s chest, he could hear the way he breathed, feel the way his chest rose as Hop sucked in air, and when he pressed his palm against his heart, was surprised he could feel it thumping fast. Way too fast.

“You’re okay, Hop. You’re doing so good right now.”

“L-Lee…?” It surprised him to hear Hop’s voice, strangled and choked, but still coming forth, and he paused for a moment to look up at him. Hop bit his lip before speaking again. “C-can you hurry up?”

He blinked, not really sure if he understood what Hop even meant by that. “Hop, I don’t want to hurt you. That’s why I’m being slow.”

He cringed, even in Leon’s hold, he could feel Hop cringe beneath him, and his voice was much less choked. “J-just get it over with already. If you’re going to do this.” There was almost a—Leon swallowed, throat feeling tight—almost a snarky tone to his voice when he said that, and Leon couldn’t help but frown at him.

“You want me to ‘ _get it over with_ ’, is that right?” That awful feeling dipped down inside of him, as much as Leon tried to will it away, he couldn’t help the way he bit back at him. Hop was in too deep to get an attitude with him, but he couldn’t help but want to be a little mean to him right now. “Okay, Hop. We can get right to it, if that’s what you want.” He smiled, the motion being everything but a sneer plastered on his face as he leaned into his brother. “But, you have to kiss me first.”

Hop tensed, pulling away for only a moment, but Leon held onto him tight just in case. Just like he expected, Hop shook his head for a moment before saying, “No.”

“Then shut up and let me work.”

The way Hop’s eyes widened at that, Leon knew he probably didn’t expect him to talk to him like that, but by this point, his erection was aching to be touched, he wanted nothing more than to ‘get it over with’ as Hop put it, but he was trying so hard to be slow with him, for Hop’s sake, but he didn’t even realize that Leon was holding back like he was. That it was taking every ounce of his strength not to hold Hop down and fuck him raw.

It wasn’t his intention to be cruel to him, but every time, no matter how small, how insignificant, no matter what, every time Hop tried to bargain with him like this, Leon grew angry. Always bargaining, always trying to make deals, always trying to compromise with Leon when Hop didn’t want to do his part in return.

He had already tried making deals with him. If Hop had kept his end of the bargain by going with him the week before, none of what happened with Mum would have happened, and neither of them would have been banished from the house like that. If Hop had just _listened_ to him about Gloria (Leon cringed at the thought of her), then he wouldn’t have secluded himself out there in the tent where Leon was so rough with him the first time.

If Hop had just _listened to him_ —none of this would have happened.

So, he was done. He was done making bargains, he was done trying to compromise, he was done coddling Hop the way he had been doing for the past several weeks. If Hop wanted to play this game with him, try and talk his way out of sex just because he was ‘ _uncomfortable’_ , then Leon was done being nice to him. It was going to happen one way or the other, and as much as Leon wanted to be gentle with him, he wouldn’t stop himself from holding him down again if it came to that.

A bit put off by Hop’s attempted bargaining, Leon went for his neck again, sucking another barrage of hickeys on his skin and gripping his wrists when he felt Hop try and pull away from him. Now wasn’t the time to get angry, but if Hop kept pushing him, or getting an attitude, he wouldn’t hold back. It made him wonder if all the tears from before had been fake, but he didn’t want to think that his brother was trying to manipulate him like that.

“L-Lee…”

He was surprised to hear Hop again, as though struggling when he spoke when Leon accidentally scraped his teeth across his neck from sucking too hard.

“Hurts…”

He pulled away, not meaning to get so eager like that, but his annoyances were gripping hold of him, and despite how much Leon didn’t want to, Hop’s words were getting on his nerves. But, he sighed, trying to ignore it in favor of focusing on what he was doing.

“Lean back.” It hadn’t mean to come out like an order, but Leon couldn’t hold back the biting tone in his voice no matter how hard he tried.

To his surprise, Hop obeyed, although a bit too slow for his liking, he moved out of his lap, gently setting himself down on the bed as if he was afraid something was going to break if he made any sudden movements, but finally, he was lying underneath Leon once more, and he wanted to smile at him, he really did, but he couldn’t bring himself to.

He was getting impatient, though knowing it was mostly because of what Hop had told him—to _hurry up_ , but the longer he sat here, kissing him, breathing in his scent, feeling how soft his body was beneath him, it was getting harder to hold off on fucking him anymore.

Still, Hop had obeyed, and he could praise him for that instead of focusing on the negatives. Letting out a soft sigh, Leon leaned back over him until he was straddling him once again and pulled at the waistband of his pajamas. There was no reaction from Hop this time, and though Leon suspected he would give him lip any moment now, he tentatively pulled the fabric down over his hips, hearing the gasp he made as he dragged it to his knees, his ankles, until he had pulled Hop’s pajama bottoms off him and tossed them to the floor. He had to laugh to himself at the sight of Hop in a pair of boxers. It always struck him as a bit odd, especially considering they had little stars sewn on them, but he didn’t know why that would even be odd in the first place. Maybe he figured Hop was more of an underwear wearer, but it was’t like Leon was complaining.

When he pulled at his boxers, Hop still having not moved, he could feel him stiffen under his touch, and the moment Leon began to drag his boxers down his hips did Hop suddenly reach out and grip hold his wrist.

“Lee—”

Trying not to let his groan of annoyance gurgle from his throat, Leon instead huffed before looking at Hop’s face. “What.” It was curt, way too laced with impatience and anger, not even muttered as a question, but Leon couldn’t help it. Hop was making this more complicated than it ever needed to be.

“U-um…” The longer Hop stumbled over his words like that, the less patience Leon had for him, and he ignored him before grabbing his boxers again, only to be met with Hop squeezing his wrists. “Don’t, Lee, wait—”

“I’m done waiting.” Maybe Hop was only doing that on purpose to buy time, but buy time for what, Leon didn’t know, or care. This was inevitable, and he was so tired of waiting. “It’s been weeks, Hop. I’ve waited for you long enough.”

“Lee, no—” But, he wasn’t stopping, even as he yanked Hop’s boxers off of him, untangling them from his legs long enough to toss them off the bed until Hop was completely naked in front of him. His face was ablaze, the heat and redness rising until he reached up to cover his own mouth, but Leon had to smirk at him.

“Well, aren’t you sexy?” It only hit him now that he hadn’t really taken the time to admire Hop’s body, and he hadn’t gotten the chance to get him completely naked before, but damn did Hop have a lot to be proud of. Though skinny, Leon could already see bits of his muscle just starting to poke out from his arms, his stomach already beginning to shape with what would no doubt work in his favor if he ever decided to work out at some point down the road. Though Leon had plenty to be proud of himself, he wondered how Hop would compare to him once he got older, if his brother would be a carbon copy, or if he would stay scrawny like this.

Hop’s face only reddened at Leon’s comment, but he couldn’t help to stare at him. There was plenty to look at, but Leon reached down and pressed his hands against Hop’s hips, squeezing and gaining a rather uncharacteristic squeal from Hop as he jumped, but it probably tickled more than hurt as Leon hadn’t pinched him hard. There was no fat there for him to grab onto, but he could feel Hop’s hip bones jutting out just underneath and he sighed.

“We really have to feed you more.” As much as he loved the way Hop’s body looked now, having more to grab certainly wouldn’t hurt. Leon never cared what people’s bodies looked like, skinny, fat, it was all the same, but for Hop, he couldn’t help but think if he got just a _little_ bit more meat there, he would have a lot more fun grabbing onto him like he was. Simply touching him to feel him, poking his stomach, gripping him and actually being able to grab hold of something, he thought it would suit him.

Hop hadn’t moved since jumping, but turned his face to the side, his cheeks still gushing heat as he covered his mouth, but he made no attempts to fight back. Leon couldn’t help but laugh, despite Hop’s protests, despite how sometimes he made him angry, he was still so cute like this. Being bashful like that, embarrassed of his body, even though he should have been proud of it instead, it only reminded Leon that he was the only one allowed to see him this way.

It only turned him on each time he thought how seeing Hop naked like this, seeing him displayed before him like this, was all for Leon’s eyes and nobody else’s.

Lowering himself, trying not to press his weight on top and smother him, Leon dipped down and kissed his stomach, gaining a twitch from Hop who continued covering his own mouth, small stifled groans of discomfort making their way out every once in awhile, but Leon could ignore them. He tried not to focus too much on Hop’s face, how he was cringing beneath him, but when he completely lowered his head, gripping the sides of Hop’s hips and squeezing as he licked below his navel, he trailed his hands lower, not bothering to look up at his face anymore, but too focused on what he was doing. As he sucked and kissed Hop’s stomach, still feeling the tension below him, the way Hop would jolt every once in awhile as he tickled his stomach, he reached up under him, grabbing hold of the underside of his thigh, and dug in with his nails, not enough to hurt, but enough that he could snake his fingers along underneath Hop’s legs and make him shiver.

And did Hop _shiver_. As Leon kissed and dragged his nails up his legs, he felt every little tremor Hop made, every little sound of discomfort, even as he covered his mouth, his breathing had hardened, but Leon could smile to himself knowing he was the one making Hop quake like this. He let a small laugh through his nose as he continued kissing him, but something poked his chest then and he leaned away, surprised to see Hop was hard.

A smile curled at the corner of his mouth. “Well, well, well. I haven’t even touched you yet and you’re getting off? Too eager, aren’t you?” He couldn’t help but tease him, maybe even be a little mean, but Hop was still refusing to look at him, still covering his mouth, and Leon pulled himself up enough to admire the view. All he had done was kiss him, tickle his legs, and here Hop was, having gotten hard. Leon never imagined simple touches like that would do it for him, but maybe Hop was incredibly sensitive. He wasn’t sure. But, it wasn’t like he was complaining.

Dipping back down, he lowered himself until he was right in front of Hop’s cock, wishing he would look down at him as he took him into his mouth. The moment he wrapped around his brother, dragging his tongue up along the shaft, he felt him shiver below him, his face absolutely gushing red. It made Leon a little sad he couldn’t properly watch his face from this angle, but for Hop to get as hard as he did, what kind of big brother would Leon be to leave him hanging?

Creating a slow rhythm, Leon moved up and down, trying to be slow, but it was getting harder to hold back for Hop. His own erection had remained untouched this whole time, and Leon tried to grind into Hop’s legs as he sucked him, to gain at least some gratification for himself, but he made sure he didn’t hold back on Hop’s end. It wasn’t long that precum was already seeping out, Hop having taking the hand he wasn’t holding over his mouth to grip the sheets underneath him. Leon wished he would hold his hair like he did before, but hearing those sounds from him, especially when he could tell Hop was trying his hardest to stay quiet, but failing, was driving Leon insane. Absolutely insane.

Even muffled, Leon could hear him moaning, and it turned him on, the sounds of Hop’s moans, the sounds of Hop’s pleasure, he bobbed up and down faster, gripping the underside of his thigh to prop him up a bit more as he went at him. Even though all this, Leon could feel him trembling below, feel every single little movement he made, hear every little noise he tried to stifle behind his hand—but, Leon knew. He knew he was enjoying this way too much, and in no time, his brother spasmed below him, his back arching as he orgasmed into his mouth, and Leon bit back his gag reflex as he tried not to choke on it. It wasn’t as much as before, though he couldn’t deny he kind of liked it when Hop came so much that it dribbled from his mouth, but he swallowed it down, wishing there was more, but licking Hop’s erection clean before pulling away from him.

And his flushed face. The sight of Hop lying on his bed, face gushing red, his eyes lidded as he was lost in the haze of orgasm, Leon couldn’t control himself. Diving into him, already hard, already aching for his brother, he lost himself. He kissed Hop, wrapping his whole mouth around him and shoving his tongue inside with no inhibitions. Hop didn’t kiss back, but he opened his mouth for him, much to Leon’s amazement, and he kissed him harder, hoping Hop tasted himself, hoping he could taste the aftermath of his mess on Leon’s tongue and realize—he did that. Hop came because of _Leon_. He only orgasmed because Leon did that for him.

Breathing heavy, he leaned off him, grinding his erection into him again and enjoying the way Hop’s face looked so flushed then. His lips were shiny from the kiss, cheeks red, and his eyes—his _fucking eyes_. The way they glistened ever so slightly with that faraway look in them, Hop not appearing to be all there just yet, but Leon took the moment he was still recovering from his orgasm to lean over him and dug through the little drawer in his bedside table to produce a bottle of lube.

A wave of guilt washed over him when he thought back to the first time he did this, he hadn’t properly lubed himself. It probably was more painful for Hop than he let on, but Leon tried not to think about it as he unzipped his pants, squirting a liberal amount of lube into his hands before he stroked himself a few times.

Hop lay under him, having not moved, but as Leon worked on himself, trying not to get too excited and come so fast, he felt the ever-present stiffening as Hop seized up underneath him. He gave him a gentle smile, trying not to let the sight of his cock intimidate him as he knew the time before, Hop had been facing away from him. Getting to see his brother’s face felt way more intimate than it should have been, but Leon was excited to see just what exactly he looked like when he came after having Leon’s cock inside of him.

After he had himself coated in a generous amount of lube, Leon reached underneath Hop, gripping him by the underside of his thighs before propping him up, exposing him even further when he pulled his thighs apart.

“Lee, wait—”

Long had he stopped paying attention to Hop when he asked him to wait, and he continued to ignore him as, without any word of warning, shoved two fingers inside of him. The gasp from Hop was instant, as he gripped the blanket underneath him, squeezing and hissing through his teeth when Leon scissored him. It couldn’t possibly hurt, and maybe Hop was only acting dramatic for the sake of trying to receive some sort of sympathy from him, but Leon knew better. This didn’t hurt. Maybe he was a little rough, and maybe a little too eager as he just wanted to go inside of him already, but if he didn’t at least prepare him, he didn’t want to risk hurting Hop when he would no doubt start to lose himself and thrust into him too hard.

“You’re doing good.” He hadn’t taken the time lately to say any praise to him, because he had been too engrossed in what he was doing, but now was as good a time as any. Hop said nothing below him, even as Leon propped his leg up with his opposite hand, holding him under his knee to better reach him, before sliding another finger into him.

Covering his mouth again, Hop slammed his eyes shut, face on fire as he turned away from Leon, but he didn’t reprimand him for it. As bad as he wanted Hop to face him, look him in the eye while he scissored him, Leon could ignore it for now. His own need to orgasm was climbing higher and higher, and if he held off any longer, he was going to explode.

Still, Hop really was doing good, lying there like he was, and even though he groaned a bit in discomfort, he wasn’t fighting Leon off. It was enough resolve for Leon to draw back away from him, removing his fingers that were enveloped with his heat, yank his own pants down off himself, and undress until he was completely naked.

With his own erection just shy of dripping precum, he grabbed the underside of Hop’s hips before pulling him up to reach him, before he pressed the tip of his erection against him. At that, Hop showed the first signs of life Leon had seen in him since he first arrived here, and snapped up, almost pulled into a seating position, but Leon reached out to grip hold of his chest, holding him back.

“Don’t do that, I might hurt you.” And Hop didn’t know it, but when he moved like that, he unconsciously rubbed against him, only making Leon shiver when he did so.

“Lee.” His voice was strangled again, having risen in pitch as he reached up to grip hold of Leon’s wrist, squeezing until his nails dug in. “L-Lee, I’m scared.”

“Don’t be scared.”

“Don’t do this.”

He sighed, trying not to let the disdain show on his face, but he couldn’t help it. “You’ve been doing so good, Hop, don’t start this now.”

“Lee, I don’t want this.”

Leon rolled his eyes, trying to ignore how he could feel Hop’s heart beat underneath his palm, how rapid it was thumping against him. Maybe it was just his imagination though. “You won’t even try to work with me. If you just lie there and let me show you how much I love you, you’ll see it isn’t bad. You can’t back out now, it’s already too late.” Not that it would have mattered, as Leon didn’t plan on letting Hop run off on him from the start.

Hop said nothing, but only squeezed his wrist tighter, until Leon flinched when his nails pierced his flesh.

“Stop holding me so tight, it’s starting to hurt.” He tried to pull away from Hop, but he had a firm grip on him, only digging his nails into him that much harder. “Dammit, Hop, that hurts!”

“Get off of me. Lee, please get off.”

And he was done. Leon was done trying to be slow, done trying to be gentle, done trying to fucking reason with him when Hop wouldn’t even give him the decency of _trying_. He wasn’t even trying. Hop never wanted to try from the start, and all his tears and protests were simply a way to try and gain sympathy from Leon.

But, he was done. No more. No more coddling, no more being nice to him, no more trying to be slow when all he got in return was this fucking attitude from him.

Yanking his wrist out of Hop’s hold, his nails still dug into him, Leon ended up scratching himself in the process, drawing blood from his wrist when he did so, and causing Hop to yelp when he pushed him down onto the mattress, holding a firm grip on his shoulder before grinding back against him.

“I’m sick of hearing your voice right now. If you don’t lie there, let me do what I have to, I’m not fucking playing games with you anymore.” Before Hop could speak, could even open his mouth to say something pitiful that would no doubt make Leon roll his eyes in disdain, he released his shoulder before clamping his hand down over Hop’s mouth, pushing him down, not caring that he stared up at him in horror. “If you fight me _one more time_ , I’m going to get angry. I’m done doing this, Hop. I’m done trying to be nice to you when all you want to do is bargain, all you want to do is try to talk your way out of this.” He pushed against him, overly aware how Hop was seized up below him and the muffled groan of protest he made against Leon’s hand. “I’m fucking you whether you want me to or not.”

And he pushed into him. Not bothering to be slow, no longer bothered to be gentle with him, and he shuddered at the feeling of his brother’s warmth wrapped around him like this. It was making him want to come way too fast, but he held off, feeling the way Hop shivered underneath him. He made a muffled, strangled sort of groan the moment Leon pushed inside, but with his hand held over his mouth, Leon couldn’t really enjoy the sounds he wished he could be hearing. He was too angry right now, too focused on his own pleasure, and after Hop had the _nerve_ to say things like to him, he couldn’t be bothered to worry about his brother right yet.

Slowly, he pulled out, reaching underneath with his free hand to prop Hop up by his thighs, until he had one of his legs wrapped around his own thigh. Leon wished he could lean up enough to engage with him, but right now—none of that mattered. When he pushed into him again, Hop making a strangled gurgle with his mouth, he could feel the air from his nose on his hand as he fought to breathe, and Leon only loosened the hold he had for a moment before slowly thrusting in and out of him.

It was _good_. It shouldn’t have felt this good to finally be inside of him after all this time, but Leon was finally indulging, finally giving into this as though he had been starving the past two weeks and was finally allowed to eat the best food he had ever tasted. Hop was so soft below him, so small, almost completely overshadowed by his own body as Leon rocked back and forth on his knees to thrust into him. The scent of his body was over-washed with shampoo and sweat, Leon not able to concentrate on one scent at a time. It was overwhelming, everything right now, from the feeling of his creeping orgasm, to the sounds of Hop’s muffled grunting underneath him, to the scents mixed through the air, Leon was losing himself.

Removing his hand from Hop’s face, he got to hear the sweet unfiltered sounds of his moans, but to his disappointment, Hop reached up, covering his eyes with his hands as Leon thrusted into him.

“N-no.” In an instant, he pulled one of his arms away from him, Hop having slammed his eyes shut when he did so. “Open your eyes, Hop, I want—f- _fuck_ —I want you to look at me.” His orgasm was only climbing higher, but Hop obeyed. With Leon having pulled his arms away, his eyes scrunched up at first, Hop slowly opened them, a thin line of tears dripped from the corner and running down the side of his face as he stared up at Leon.

He smiled down at him, still thrusting into him and enjoying way too much how Hop was rocked into the bed beneath him. Every move he made, every thrust, Hop was bounced back with it, his entire body moving with Leon’s.

“Y-you’re so beautiful, Hop.” His face gushed with heat. “I love you. I love you so much.”

Hop only made a choked sort of sob as Leon moved in and out of him, but slowly, but not slow enough, he watched Hop grow hard beneath him, and he couldn’t help to laugh down at him.

“ _Fuck_ , Hop, I haven’t even touched you, and you’re getting off?” He smirked. “You must really enjoy the feeling of me inside of you.”

His face gushed with heat, but Leon pulled his legs up until he was leaned down enough he wasn’t solely supported by his knees anymore, but almost pressed down with his chest against Hop’s. He kissed him, thrusting harder at the feeling of his soft lips against his own, but trying to hold off on his orgasm. His desire was aching, his body begging for release, but Leon was curious to know if he could make Hop come without touching him.

It was cruel, both to himself and for Hop, to drag it out this way, but he had all the time in the world, and knew if he could hold off long enough, his gratification would be that much greater. And _fuck_ , did the way Hop’s face look right now—Leon had to hold off on coming so fast, because to be right here, looking at his face, his flushed face, his face of pleasure, the face _Leon had given him_ —it was too much. This was all too much for him.

Leon was never meant to see Hop this way, this was the most intimate part of his brother, his heavy breathing, his red face, the way his heat wrapped around Leon like this, he was never supposed to see Hop like this, or know the feeling of being inside of him. Breathing heavy, rocking below him, moaning into him—it was all for Leon. Only Leon got the honor of witnessing him melt underneath him like this.

Running his hands through Hop’s hair, he kissed him as though he were starving, as though Hop was the only thing left in the world that was going to satisfy his growing hunger, and he was enjoying too much how Hop, with his legs wrapped around him, reached up and dragged his nails along his back. He was getting too into this, not that Leon was complaining. As Hop scratched at him, soon moving in time with his thrusts, he couldn’t help how desperate he got as Hop finally—after all this time, _finally_ moved with him.

His brother moaned into his mouth as Leon rocked him back and forth, and he shoved his tongue into him, trying not to lose sight of himself, but he couldn’t keep up with everything happening. Hop lay below him, scratching his back, legs draped around him, and his erection dripped with precum that Leon could feel brush against his front every time he thrust back in. He allowed him to, Hop allowed Leon to kiss him as though he were trying to consume him, breathing with every thrust he made that was only getting harder to control as he desperately wished Hop would come, but at the same time, didn’t want to touch him.

As his brother’s nails dug into his back, Leon flinched, knowing he had probably drawn his blood, but the pain only went straight to his cock, and he almost came right then and there when Hop moaned below him. Deny it all he wanted, but Leon could see it on his face, could see how badly Hop was enjoying himself. Let him lie about how he hated this—Leon knew that wasn’t true.

_Just look at his face._

Leon had seen Hop’s face post orgasm before, but never got to see the way he looked while inside of him, while Hop scratched his back and dug his nails into him for something to hold onto. Leon couldn’t help but grab him from underneath his thighs, prop him up as he thrusted, going faster, trying to hold off his own orgasm long enough for Hop to come, but it was getting more and more difficult. Leon wouldn’t be fully satisfied unless he saw Hop orgasm from simply being inside of him, and nothing else. If Hop were to do that, without Leon having to touch him, he knew it would be true then. Hop wouldn’t be able to lie to him anymore.

He could say he loved it, he loved the feeling of Leon inside of him more than anything, and it was apparent, as he moaned below him, as Leon kissed him, dragging his tongue inside his mouth and tasting him, as Hop moved with him, rocking back and forth, that he was loving it. Hop loved every bit of this, loved every inch of Leon that he pumped into him, he loved every movement he made, every breath Leon huffed out against his mouth as he lost himself, Hop wouldn’t be able to deny it.

He wanted Hop to come on his own. It would be so much sweeter if he would, if Hop came simply from Leon being inside of him like this. He had to be close, he _had_ to be. There was only so much more Leon could take before he went over the edge himself, but just as he was contemplating stroking him, Hop moaned in his mouth, the sound like music to his ears when Leon felt him spasm below him, back arching, breaths heavy as he grunted through choked gasps before Hop came all over himself.

When he did, his nails dug into the back of Leon’s shoulder blades, he lost it. Gripping hold of the back of Hop’s hair, he pulled at his roots, receiving a yelp from Hop, but only making Leon kiss him harder as he orgasmed all inside of him. And he rode it out. As much as he could, Leon could feel it when he released all the pent up emotions from the past two weeks, his anger, his sadness, his happiness, his love for Hop.

All of it.

All of it releasing from his body in one fell swoop, and he moan into his brother’s mouth as he continued thrusting, pumping himself dry for all that he had left. Breathing heavy, he almost collapsed on top of him when he did so, falling forward a bit as he found himself in that haze, as though just waking up from a dream. His eyes lidded, Leon almost wanted to drift off to sleep right then and there, lying on top of Hop, but the haze of orgasm never lasted long enough. Not for him.

Hop lay unmoving beneath him, having also just orgasmed a second time, all without Leon having touched him at all, and he could smile at it, at the fact Hop had come like that, just because Leon was inside of him. He really was sensitive, a lot more lewd than Leon could have ever imagined him being, but he finally leaned up before he pulled out of him.

His cum dribbled from Hop’s bottom and he watched his brother shiver as it ran down between his legs, but Leon couldn’t help the smirk on his face as he eyed the drops of cum Hop had on his stomach.

“Look at that.” Dabbing his fingers through it, he wiped it off of him, holding it up for Hop to see. “I didn’t even _touch_ you.” That made him way happier than it should have, but Hop gave him no reaction. Just like Leon, his face was flushed, eyes heavy with sleep, and he looked as though he were about to drift off right there, but Leon patted his leg to wake him up. “Come on, sit up. If you can.”

At first Leon didn’t think he was going to move as Hop lay there, breathing and spent, but he moved, as though afraid something might break, Hop obeyed, but moved gingerly, pushing himself up by his arms into a seating position, flinching as he stood off the bed. Leon only took a second to pull his blankets back before scooting himself underneath him. It was too late to bother with cleanup, and he was fucking exhausted. He could wash the sheets tomorrow if anything, but he was sure Hop was spent too, and he didn’t even protest when Leon motioned for him to move under the covers with him.

Without saying a word to him, or looking at him, Hop climbed into bed, Leon draping the covers over them both before pulling Hop into him so that his back rested against his chest. Just like before, his brother was the perfect fit, and Leon couldn’t help the small laugh that bubbled in the back of his throat, his chest tight, but his whole body feeling light as a feather. As he nuzzled his face into Hop’s hair, he indulged in his scent long enough to give him a kiss.

“Did you like it, Hop? You came twice. You must have.” Another laugh out his nose before he kissed the top of his head again. Leon was drifting, so lost in the aftermath of his own pleasure, he was ready to drop, and with Hop in his arms, providing him all the warmth he needed, he got comfortable way too easily. “You enjoyed it, right?”

Hop didn’t reply below him, but he could hear the small sounds of his breathing, the way his chest rose and fell in time, but maybe he had already fallen asleep. Leon couldn’t be sure, but it wasn’t like it mattered.

With his eyes already closed, the warmth enveloping his body like it was, Hop in his arms, and the scent of his shampoo lingering in the air, Leon gave him one final kiss on the side of his head before lying back on his pillow. “I love you.”

There was no response from Hop, but he must have already been asleep. Maybe coming twice really did take a lot out of him, but Leon could smile, a feeling of tranquility blanketing over him as he soon began to drift off with Hop in his arms, feeling more warmth, more comfortable, and more loved than he had felt in a long time.

This was only proof of his love, proof he loved Hop more than anything. And Leon really did, he really, really did love him, he thought the world of him, Hop was more than just his brother, he meant more to Leon than the whole world ever could. More than anything, Leon loved him more than anything he had ever loved in his life.

He nuzzled his face one more time into the back of his head, sleep taking hold of him.

Leon loved him _so much_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all of your continuous support. This fic wouldn’t have ever taken off if it weren’t for readers like you. I appreciate all the comments, kudos, and people who’ve contacted me on twitter to send fanart, kind words, etc. It really means the world to me!! 
> 
> Thank you so much.
> 
> I’ll see you guys next chapter :D


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s so short ;-; i appreciate you guys as always!! Thank you so much for your support

The apartment that morning was quiet, save for the sounds of Hop’s gentle snoring right down below him. Normally, a sound like this wouldn’t rouse Leon from sleep even though he wasn’t known to be a heavy sleeper, not like Hop, but the loud buzzing from his bedside table did stir him awake and he pulled himself up enough to reach over Hop who continued sleeping in his arms, grabbed his phone, and let out an annoyed huff when he saw Raihan’s picture on the caller ID. Still groggy, eyes blurred from sleep, Leon hung up on him before letting the phone fall somewhere behind his head before he buried his face back into Hop’s hair.

His brother was breathing steady, letting out little snores each time he inhaled and Leon wrapped his arms around him to pull him closer. He had drifted away from him at some point in the night, though not too far, but enough he felt cold without his bare back against his chest. Once he’d pulled Hop back into him, at least enough that Leon felt warm again, he snuggled up, nuzzling Hop’s hair and enjoying the scent of his shampoo before he drifted off again. He wasn’t concerned about waking up early, and whatever Raihan wanted could wait until later, but right now, Leon was too comfortable to move, and just wanted to indulge a bit longer.

It couldn’t have been much later, as Leon didn’t feel like he’d slept all that much more, but pretty soon, his phone was buzzing right behind his ear. Grumpy from being woken up yet again, he reached behind to grab it, once again spotting Raihan’s face on his screen. Instead of hanging up on him, Leon leaned up in bed, trying to be very careful not to disturb Hop who appeared to still be sleeping, before he tapped the little green button.

“What?” Ugh, the sound of his own voice made him cringe. He had that sleepy croaking voice where he sounded much deeper than he normally was.

“You’re _still_ asleep, champ?” Raihan was already giving him a hard time, but Leon rolled his eyes, knowing full well Raihan couldn’t actually see him do that.

“It’s Sunday. What’s the point in waking up early?”

“True. You aren’t normally the late sleeper.”

“Why’d you call? What do you want?” Now sitting up in bed, his hair pooling down around his shoulders in curls, Leon remembered he was naked, his bare chest making him shiver when the blanket fell from him, but he made sure to cover up Hop next to him as he continued to sleep, still snoring. Hop was a heavy sleeper (Leon knew that all too well), but that didn’t stop him from trying to lower his voice a little in case his brother _did_ wake up. Leon wanted him to sleep as long as he wanted after last night.

“I can’t call you just to say hi?”

Leon frowned, again knowing Raihan couldn’t see, but something in the way he fell silent must have tipped off Raihan who gave him a sheepish chuckle from the other side.

“Okay, while I did just wanna say hi, I was wondering if you’re gonna be at the tower tomorrow?”

“Don’t know.” Honestly, Leon really didn’t want to go into work first thing in the morning. He really had no obligations there in the first place, though it had become his main source of financial income, it wasn’t like he was in desperate need of money. Raihan knew that too. His friend gave him a hard time for skipping out when he did, but in reality, Raihan was as bad as he was about skipping on work to go goof off.

Sure enough, “Why don’t I come over and we can hang out? Drink or something?”

Leon had to snort. “You’re asking permission to come over? That’s unlike you.”

“Well, you’ve got Little Lee there, so you know. How old is he again?”

“Fourteen, why?” Soon to be fifteen in a month actually, but Leon didn’t feel the need to relay that information.

“You okay if he drinks?”

That…made Leon stop for a moment. Of course, he didn’t care if Hop drank and would’ve been surprised if he hadn’t already gone out to drink with friends, especially during his league challenger days, but—somehow the thought of getting Hop intoxicated enough to loosen him up around him was way more enticing than it should have been.

“Yeah,” he said, feeling a small tingle of excitement well in his chest, but for what exactly, he couldn’t be sure. Was getting Hop drunk really something he could look forward to? Leon had never seen him drink, had never even been drunk around him before (though he and Raihan could get pretty rowdy by themselves), the idea of Hop being so loose that he jumped in his lap, touched him, and said flirty things was almost enough to make Leon leap from bed.

Of course, he didn’t know why his thoughts automatically went to things like that. Hop was so shy around him lately, but even if he did get him drunk, he didn’t magically see his brother finally letting his true self out like that. As much as he wanted to think like that, think that getting his little brother drunk would finally break down the barrier and he would jump in his arms—Leon let out a sigh to himself. It was wishful thinking. If anything, Hop would probably cry if he got drunk. At least Leon could see his brother being a sad drunk. 

“Oh good. So you’re alright with me coming over then?”

Still a bit lost in his own thoughts, Leon gave a small nod, before remembering he was on the phone and Raihan couldn’t see that. “Um, yeah.”

“Awesome. Want me to bring anything? Besides alcohol, I mean. Any food?”

“Nah, I got plenty of food.” He didn’t go grocery shopping last week and buy out every snack and sweet imaginable for his brother for nothing. Before Leon could catch himself, or even realize what he was doing, his hand had snaked its way into the back of Hop’s hair as he continued to lie curled up next to him, back facing him, enjoying how his short locks felt between his fingers. He tugged at it, not enough to pull and hurt him, but enough to fluff the tufts on his fingertips. It was such an absentminded thing for him to do, but he didn’t even realize what he was doing until Raihan spoke again.

“Alright. Guess I’ll be there this afternoon. Got some business of my own to tend to, but I’ll be there after awhile.”

“Okay.” Face burning a bit at what he’d been doing while on the phone with his friend, Leon gave Hop a final caress with his nails before removing his hand from his hair. It had felt so nice to pet him like that, even though Leon wasn’t really paying attention to what exactly he’d been doing, as he tended to play with things while he and Raihan talked on the phone. It wasn’t uncommon for him to twiddle his fingers or tug at his shirt—but petting Hop’s hair was another thing. Though being nothing more than an innocent gesture, Leon couldn’t help but feel a bit like he was pushing some kind of limit—to touch his brother like that, have his _brother_ right here in bed with him, naked, right after they fucked the night before, with Raihan on the other line, knowing none of this.

It felt so sneaky, and Leon couldn’t deny it gave him a bit of a rush, and a smile curled on his face as he thought how his friend had no idea what he was doing. He had no idea he had made love to his little brother the night before, that he got to touch him, kiss him, suck hickeys all over his neck, and only Leon got to hear what his moans sounded like, his moans of pleasure as— _only Leon_ —made him feel that good.

“Great! See you then, champ.” Without waiting for a reply, he hung up on him, leaving Leon back in the silence of his room, save for Hop’s soft snores every once in awhile.

He sighed, reaching over to place his phone back on the nightstand before pulling into himself and rubbing his face. As much as he liked hanging out with Raihan on the weekends like this, he honestly would have rather spent the rest of the day with Hop. Raihan wasn’t bad company, the complete opposite actually. He was the one who always came over to put Leon in a better mood when something bad happened, when work got him stressed, or if he was just lonely, Raihan was always the one there for him.

But.

Peering down at Hop again, watching as his chest rose and fell with each breath he took, Leon didn’t feel as guilty as he should have that he was willing to trade Raihan’s company for Hop’s. He had more fun with Raihan, but he loved—was _in love_ with Hop. It wasn’t like he couldn’t have fun with him too. After all, the date from yesterday wasn’t the big fantasy dream date he imagined it would be with fireworks shooting in the sky, but Leon could still say it was fun to a degree. At least fun enough simply being with Hop, because as long as his brother was with him, Leon didn’t care what they did. If they sat on the couch all day watching the telly, then it would be a good day.

Letting out a soft sigh, Leon knew he had to get up and get dressed, though Hop’s sleeping form next to him, still warm underneath the covers, was making it incredibly difficult for him to make that call. He really wanted to snuggle back down with him, hold him a little longer, maybe give him a few kisses on his face and hair—but he had to swallow down those thoughts. As innocent as they were for now, Leon knew if he got carried away, he probably wouldn’t be able to hold off on going at him again.

It wasn’t his fault Hop made him crazy like this. If anything, it was _Hop’s_ fault for making him fall in love with him in the first place. Leon was only irrational like this because his brother was so good at making him melt by simply being right next to him.

Still. He knew he had to get out of bed, and let out an irritated sigh this time because he _really_ didn’t want to, Leon carefully climbed out from under the covers, being mindful of Hop and trying not to rouse him. It didn’t matter how long Hop slept, but Leon wanted him to be comfortable, so he crawled off the bed, placing the blanket back around Hop as he could now see his sleeping face and did he look _adorable as hell_ with his jaw slacked like that, face so relaxed and vulnerable—Leon had to smile. He was so used to Hop always frowning around him that he thought, when was the last time Hop smiled? It seemed only when he was sleeping, did Leon see any change in demeanor from him.

Any other time, he was crying, frowning, hugged into himself, avoiding eye contact, all of those things like that, that Leon wasn’t even sure if he remembered what he looked like when he smiled. It made him a little sad to think of how long it had been since he’d seen his brother smile at him, but Leon couldn’t dwell on things like that. A lot had happened, and he didn’t blame Hop for being upset about Mum, even though he wished he would realize she wasn’t worth worrying over, like Leon had, but Hop didn’t think of it that way. In his eyes, as he had already told Leon, it was his fault Mum freaked out like she had, though Leon wanted to argue it was nobody’s fault _but_ Mum’s, he couldn’t deny he carried the brunt of the blame.

If he hadn’t gotten so turned on by finally seeing Hop after two weeks, he wouldn’t have gone at him like that. If Hop had just kept his end of the deal and come up here with him at the end of the week, Leon wouldn’t have gotten so insatiable like that. If—

Leon closed his eyes and let out a sigh after tucking Hop back under the covers. It did nobody any damn good to dwell on the what ifs of that. It was over and done with. Nothing left to do but move forward.

And right now, Leon moved forward by tiptoeing over to his closet, pulling out some clothes before making his way down the hallway to the bathroom. He took a quick shower, dressed, and made his way to the kitchen. First things first, he figured he ought to make breakfast for Hop, as he was apparently still sleeping. A quick glance at the clock let him know it was still fairly early, at least nine in the morning, and he was surprised at Raihan for calling him that early in the first place. Neither of them were early risers, but Leon had a sneaking suspicion it was an excuse for Raihan to give him a hard time, talk him into playing hooky while he was still dazed from sleep, and also get him to agree to drinking.

What a bastard. And Leon thanked him for it. He didn’t really want to leave Hop here all day by himself anyway, and at that thought, Leon froze just as he grabbed a frying pan. What did he intend to do with Hop while he was off at the Battle Tower during the day? Quite frankly, Leon hadn’t bothered to think of what to do with him then. Maybe bring him to work with him, as he didn’t trust him to stay at the apartment all day by himself, what with Hop’s track record of running off and whatnot, but he felt bad keeping him cooped up in the tower with him too.

His grip tightened on the pan. Well, maybe taking him to work for awhile would be best, as he didn’t like the idea of Hop staying here, but hated even more how the idea of locking him up shouldn’t have been as tempting as it was. He couldn’t do that to his brother, but if Hop ever gave him a reason to mistrust him to that degree, then Leon would have no choice. Hop had nowhere to go, nobody to run to, and Leon wasn’t about to let his brother fend for himself on the streets of Wyndon, so if he had to lock him up to keep him safe, then so be it.

Leon sighed as he put a few eggs on to fry. Things wouldn’t have to be this difficult if Hop would just come around and see that living here with him was much better than being in Postwick. Leon actually gave a damn about him, wanted to see him happy, and appreciated him. He doubted Hop got much attention back at home, but it wasn’t like he’d been around long enough to know how Mum treated him. Though, _he_ was certainly guilty of neglecting him, Leon swore to never do that again. Whatever treatment Hop got from home when he wasn’t around, Leon would be sure to shower him in love everyday, even if Hop drove his patience into the ground sometimes, even if he made him irritated sometimes and said things like he didn’t _feel the same way toward him_ —Leon had to bit his bottom lip to keep from thinking about that one—even all those things, he still loved him.

A small sound from down the hallway broke him from his thoughts and he perked up when he thought he could hear Hop coughing from his bedroom, but he wasn’t sure if that’s what it was or not. So, he waited a bit, still frying eggs and the like, to see if he could hear it again, but the only sounds were random shuffling and movement. Hop was awake, it seemed, but then Leon heard his bedroom door open and peered around the corner to see Hop emerge, sloppily dressed in his pajamas from last night, and head held low.

“Good morning,” Leon called out to him, but received no response. Not even a courtesy glance or anything to let him know Hop had heard him. Instead, Hop trudged across the hall toward the bathroom and as soon as the door shut, Leon could hear him coughing again. Taking a moment to put a pause on his cooking, Leon sidled next to the door before knocking. “Hop? Are you okay?”

Only a small ‘ _mmm_ ’ was his response before the shower turned on. A bit worried, Leon considered staying there and trying to get Hop to talk to him, but he already knew it would do no good. His brother needed his privacy right now, so, despite not wanting to, Leon found his way back to kitchen and continued cooking breakfast while Hop showered.

About fifteen minutes passed as Leon continued to cook, frying some sausages, eggs, and making toast. He was probably making way more food for two people to handle, but he wanted to at least try and get Hop to eat a bit more. Yesterday, he’d watched his brother wolf down about two plates full of curry, so he at least still had his appetite, but—

Gripping his frying pan again, Leon tensed a bit. But…seeing Hop naked last night made it all too clear to him his brother wasn’t eating enough. It wasn’t just about him being lanky, but Leon could see a change in his body over time. He never remembered Hop having a round face or anything like that, but he could see it in the way his skin was starting to ever so slightly sink in. Not enough for it to be all that noticeable, but noticeable enough for Leon at least.

With all that had happened, Leon couldn’t blame him for losing his will to eat, but he was determined to spoil him rotten, shower Hop in food, let him eat all the sweets he wanted until he put on some weight. Seeing him eat yesterday gave Leon hope he would continue to eat like that, so it was almost an afterthought for him to make as much food as he did, but the table was set, two plates bursting full of eggs, sausage, toast, and the like. He poured Hop a glass of milk just as he could hear him emerging from the bathroom and he glanced up long enough to see Hop, towel wrapped around his waist, scurry across the hall before he locked himself in his bedroom.

Seating himself at the table, Leon didn’t dare touch his food before Hop got there, but as time passed, soon five minutes, way too long for Hop to be taking just to get dressed, Leon let out a sigh before standing from his seat again. In seconds flat, he approached Hop’s door before knocking.

“Hop?”

No reply.

“Breakfast is ready. Come on out and eat.”

There was a small shuffle from the other side of the door, but no reply.

Leon let out a sigh, trying not to sound irritated before he rubbed at the back of his head. “It’s going to get cold.” Reaching out, he gripped hold of the door handle, a bit put off that it was still locked, and he couldn’t help but frown at the fact Hop had locked himself in his room. Even though it was _his room_ , his little space of privacy, Leon felt the need to chastise him about locking himself up like that, even worse had a passing thought of taking Hop’s lock off his room entirely—but, he couldn’t do that. Hop needed and deserved privacy just as much as he did. Still, Leon backed off, not wanting to, wanting to ram the door down if he was being honest, but made his way back to the table and sat down. With or without Hop, he ate his breakfast alone, trying not to let Hop’s lack of communication get to him.

There was no sound from Hop’s room the entire time Leon sat by himself, finishing his breakfast a bit slower than usual. As much as he wanted Hop to join him, he couldn’t get carried away and break down his door, but the more time passed, the more absolutely no movement or sounds came from Hop’s room, the more compelled he felt to remove the lock altogether. There was no need for Hop to lock himself away like that and eventually, he was going to have to come out. Either out of hunger or his need to use the bathroom, he couldn’t stay cooped up in his room forever.

Leon frowned, thinking maybe once he came out, he would do it. He would tear the handle off his door and replace the knob with one he could lock from the outside—he bit down the way his throat tightened at that thought. It was becoming more tantalizing the longer he sat there stewing in it, but he also didn’t want to do that. It was such a strange thing to want to keep Hop locked up where Leon could keep him all to himself, but he also wanted Hop to feel welcome in his apartment and not caged up like some kind of animal.

 _Although_.

Leon swallowed, carrying his plate to the sink where he washed off the crumbs and such. Although—if Hop gave him a reason to, he wouldn’t hesitate to lock him up. He’d already made that known to Hop before in the past, but so far, his brother hadn’t done anything to warrant that kind of extreme. Leon hoped it never came to that.

Hop’s plate of food grew cold, and Leon, not sure what else to do with it, gathered up the food in a small container and placed it in the fridge. It wouldn’t taste as good, but he could always heat it up later for him. A glance at the clock showed him about an hour had passed while he’d eaten breakfast and tidied up. There were no signs of life from the other side of Hop’s bedroom door and Leon, a bit worried, especially with Hop coughing like he was earlier, made his way to the door before knocking on it yet again.

“Hop? Are you okay?”

To his surprise, he actually received a response. Though not quite what he wanted, but a small, muffled ‘ _mmm_ ’ came from the other side. At least it was something, even if it wasn’t what he wanted, he was glad Hop was still alive over there.

He jiggled the handle, only to find it still locked and he let out a sigh. “Can you open the door, please?”

At first, there was no sound, no movement, but just when he was about to reiterate, he heard the sound of the mattress creaking as Hop rose from bed (why had he been in bed?), crossed the room, and turned the lock. At the sound of the lock clicking, Leon turned the handle, surprised to see Hop with his back to him, crossing the room before he climbed back into bed.

“Are you still tired?” Surely last night hadn’t taken that much of a toll on him. Leon may have gotten a little bit rough with him than he intended, but it wasn’t like Hop wasn’t engaged with him this time. It made his face gush with heat to think back to how Hop dug his nails into his back (and Leon had the scratches to prove it), rocked into the bed below him, but moan for him, move with him, and allowed Leon to kiss him. If anything, Hop had been more engaged than he’d ever been before. Maybe he was embarrassed he had gotten so into it like he had? Leon could see that, at least. Hop was shy, uncomfortable with things like this, so it wasn’t a surprise for him to be bashful about how he allowed Leon to fuck him senseless.

It actually made him a bit happy to think Hop was shy he had loved it so much.

Still, he made his way to Hop’s bedside, as his back was facing him as he crawled under the covers, and Leon placed a hand on his hip before sitting on the edge of the bed, noting how Hop didn’t react at all.

“Raihan is coming over later today.” He had no idea why he felt the need to say that, but it was more out of courtesy for Hop, as he lived here now and this apartment was just as much his as it was Leon’s. He wanted him to feel like he had a say in matters like that. “Um, he won’t be here until this evening probably, but he’s bringing drinks and he’s probably gonna spend the night. You don’t have to give up your room or anything, he can crash on the couch.”

Hop said nothing, not that he expected him to, so Leon let out a soft sigh before standing from his spot and rubbed the back of his own neck.

“Food’s in the fridge. Eat whenever you want, whatever you want. The kitchen is yours.” This was a bit awkward as he stood there, trying his hardest to let Hop know he _could_ get up and wander around if he wanted, eat whatever he wanted, as Leon wanted him to know he wasn’t a guest here and he didn’t have to act like one. But, Hop never moved from his spot and Leon wondered if he had fallen back asleep, but a quick glance as he leaned over showed him Hop was still awake, gaze lowered to some random part of the wall. He looked so tired, even lying down like this, arm tucked under his head, but Leon felt a pang of guilt well in his stomach at the sight of him.

Did last night really tire him out that much? Leon had wanted to talk with him about it, let him know everything was okay and that Hop didn’t have to feel embarrassed around him, but seeing his brother like this, with that far off look in his eye, appearing so frail and exhausted—he bit back and decided it was best to let Hop have his space for now. Maybe he was working some things out for himself and needed to be alone. And as much as Leon wanted to sit down and assure him everything was okay and he was loved, he held off.

But, before he left, he didn’t know why he felt the need to say it, but he opened his mouth one more time. “Don’t be shy around Raihan. I won’t lie, he’ll probably tease you, but I’ll keep him in line if he makes you uncomfortable. He might get loud when he’s drunk, but he’s harmless. I’m sure he’ll want to see you, but if you aren’t feeling up for it, we’ll try to keep it down.” It was the only bit of comfort he could offer him right now, but he soon stepped out of Hop’s room, closing the door behind him.

He really, really wished Hop would tell him what was on his mind, but he knew if he pressed him, Hop would probably only recede further into himself. He was acting strange today, more strange than usual, but Leon tried not to dwell on it. Maybe all he needed was alone time, as Leon knew he had been spending a lot of time with him the past couple days, but it was only because those two weeks without him made him clingy. He knew he was probably smothering him, but he had to remember Hop was still in a vulnerable place. Two days wasn’t enough to erase what happened back at home, or with Gloria, and honestly, no amount of time would ever erase it, but Leon hated seeing Hop sad like this all the time.

When his emotions got the better of him and he pushed and pushed until Hop crumbled beneath him, Leon wished things wouldn’t come to that. He didn’t like roughhousing his brother into compliance, but sometimes—

Sometimes Hop _needed_ pushing. He needed to step out his comfort zone and learn that Leon was only interested in his wellbeing. If last night was any indication, his brother could whine and reject him all he wanted, but Leon, and _only Leon_ , saw his face when he came. Heard the sounds his brother made when he turned him on, felt the scratches and saw the bruises he’d left on Leon’s body from grabbing him too hard, because he was so overwhelmed with feelings and arousal, he would never admit how badly Leon turned him on.

Looking down at his wrist, the wrist Hop had scratched up last night, Leon could still see the faint outline of red marks, and he touched at them, noting the sting that was still there, and let out a sigh.

Hop orgasmed without him even having to _touch_ him. Hop was so overcome with pleasure from simply having Leon fuck inside of him that he came. Leon was never going to get over that. It made him happier than it should have to know his brother got off on him like that, and he wanted so, so bad to rub it in his face, as awful as that was, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Hop’s flushed face, his face of pleasure, his loud moans, the way he moved with him.

There was no way— _absolutely no way_ he hadn’t enjoyed what Leon did to him. No amount of arguing, lying, or biting words would ever convince Leon otherwise. His brother had _loved_ what he did to him last night and it made him so happy to know he could make him melt underneath him by simply _being inside of him_.

Leon inhaled as he gripped his wrist, the sting making him flinch but also a wonderful reminder of what had transpired last night. Everything was going to be okay. Hop may have been out of sorts right now, but he would come around.

Leon knew he would.

After stepping away from his brother’s bedroom door, Leon crossed the hall to his own bedroom and went to work tidying up. Doing menial tasks like this would hopefully help the day pass by, as he wasn’t sure what to do with his time with Hop cooped up in his room like that. But, at least he wasn’t locked out of his room anymore. It gave him peace of mind as he stripped the bed, gathered the clothes off the floor, and carried it all down the hallway toward the washing machine.

His laundry room (if it could even be called that) was tucked away right next to the kitchen, more a closet than anything, but enough that he could do what he needed to do. After tossing his clothes and sheets in the wash, he emerged, stepping out into the kitchen, and froze when he spied Hop across the way, standing in front of the front door. When on earth did he leave his room without Leon so much as hearing him? Maybe he had been too absorbed in his tasks, but he crossed the room, noticing how strange it was that Hop was simply…standing there? Not doing anything.

But his gaze was fixed on the front door, as though he were mere seconds away from gripping hold of the handle and leaving.

“Hop?” Leon approached his side, setting a hand down on his shoulder, not liking how Hop never made so much as a small movement on his part. Not that Leon wanted him fighting and crying, but—seeing Hop with no life in him at all bothered him even more than when he snapped back at him. Seeing Hop this way was just. Sad.

Hop didn’t reply, but only continued to stare at the door as though locked in some kind of trance. At his lack of response, Leon shook him by the shoulder, finally gauging a reaction and causing Hop to look up at him, though with eyes so dull it actually made Leon flinch back at the sight of them.

“Are you feeling alright?”

Hop nodded, though it was more a movement for the sake of moving than any actual confirmation. His head dipped lower and he returned his gaze back to the front door. It only worried Leon even more to see him like this, and he gripped his shoulder a bit more tightly.

“What are you doing? Do you want to go outside?”

Hop shook his head. Again, movement for the sake of it, but somehow not replying at the same time.

Leon sighed, and despite how he knew it was probably a bad idea, he released Hop’s shoulder and took both arms, as gently as he could, and wrapped them around his brother, digging his face into the crook of his neck to pull him close. The sight of the hickeys on the side of his neck made Leon draw in a short breath. His neck was bruised to hell and back, but damn were they beautiful on him.

“Hop.”

His only response was the smallest, almost insignificant sound of Hop sucking in a sharp breath through his nose, but remaining motionless.

“Please talk to me, Hop.”

Surely he wasn’t contemplating running away? To get out of bed, sneak across the apartment where Leon somehow didn’t hear him make a sound that entire time, to do…whatever it was he was doing right now, it made him nervous. The way Hop was staring at the door, Leon wouldn’t have been surprised if he ripped open the handle and fled down the hall, but—

“Hop?” He pulled him tighter, pressing his face into the crook of his shoulder and gave him a small kiss on one of his hickeys. When he did, Hop tensed, finally showing signs that he was actually there and he pulled away from him.

“I don’t know. I…I don’t know, Lee. Stop touching me.” Gently, almost uncharacteristically gentle of him, Hop pulled Leon’s arms out from around him, stepping out of the way so that Leon couldn’t hold him anymore. Any other time, Leon would have pushed and insisted, but for now, he allowed Hop his space and backed off.

“Okay. Why don’t you eat something now?” A question, but really Leon was telling him to, and Hop must have sensed that as well, because without any protest from his end, without looking at Leon, he crossed the room to the kitchen. A bit surprised, but not complaining, Leon followed him, removing the leftovers from the fridge and went to heat them up in the microwave while Hop sat at the table. As much as Leon wanted to talk to him, now that Hop had stopped hiding away in his room, he held off. He had a sneaking suspicion if he planned to gain any headway with him, he was going to have to wait for Hop to talk first. And if that never happened, then it just didn’t happen.

Last night was weighing on his mind, so Leon had no doubt Hop had a lot to think about as well. Whatever it was going through his mind, he wanted so badly to know his thoughts, what Hop was feeling, but he feared Hop would only hide further into his shell if he brought it up. It was agonizing restraining himself, but Leon tried to brush it off as he served Hop his leftovers.

Hop actually ate much to Leon’s surprise. Not wanting to disturb him and allow him his space, Leon broke away from him, leaving him in peace as he moved around the apartment, cleaning up here and there, tidying up the living room, things like that. Raihan wasn’t the type of person to get his ass in a wad if Leon didn’t clean up, but he also felt the need to keep things tidy for Hop’s sake more than anything.

It was strange to feel as though he were taking care of his brother now, but—Leon couldn’t deny it made him happy to think of himself as Hop’s caretaker. He hadn’t planned on it, but that’s the way things were. Hop was going to need expenses taken care of, guidance and the like, and Leon was the only person he had for things like that.

Sweat prickled at the back of his neck to think of himself as Hop’s surrogate parent now. His brother was old enough to do things for himself, but still not quite old enough to be on his own. He wasn’t old enough to rent his own place, but even when he did reach that age, Leon hoped he chose to stay with him. If anything, Leon would have been surprised if Hop didn’t come around to living with him permanently, as he couldn’t see his brother still being against this years down the road. If Leon pushed enough, if he pressured him enough, maybe Hop would make that call on his own to stay.

Because Leon would take care of him. He didn’t mind mothering him like this, as he felt compelled to by this point. He couldn’t fault their mum for it, as Leon had no idea what life had been like for Hop back in Postwick, but he was determined to take good care of him, give him things he wanted, and offer him support in times of need.

It was so strange to think of himself as Hop’s parent so to say, his big brother, and his—Leon swallowed—his _lover_. Could he go so far as to say he and Hop were lovers? It was so foreign, so alien to think of his own brother as his romantic interest, but Leon couldn’t lie that thoughts that like made him happy. To think that he was Hop’s guardian, his brother, _and_ his lover—it was somehow both scandalous and incredibly appealing to him.

Leon knew he shouldn’t have been thinking of his brother like that, as those were words reserved for other people, people he was supposed to fall in love with, want a life together with. But, he wanted to do those things with Hop as well. Leon had fallen in love with him, he did want a life together with him. It was crazy to think, and even Leon felt embarrassed he was acting like a love struck teenager with thoughts like these, but he couldn’t quell the fantasies that swarmed his mind.

This was someone he shouldn’t have ever fallen in love with. Hop was his brother. Hop wasn’t supposed to be the one Leon fell for, lusted over, obsessed over—but he was.

Drawing his face up from tidying, Leon spied Hop still seated at the table, slowly working on his breakfast, and couldn’t bite down the smile that curled on his face. It was forbidden, it was disgusting in the eyes of others, what Leon did was horrible to some people, but he knew he wasn’t cruel to him. He knew he loved his brother and only wanted him to be happy. He knew how badly he loved him and he was never going to apologize for only wanting what was best for Hop, he would never apologize for being in love with him and wanting to appreciate him.

Nobody, not a single person, not even Hop could tell Leon what he did wasn’t out of absolute love for his brother. He only loved him so bad, so much that he would take certain extremes when he did. It was only because he loved Hop so much that he fantasized about locking him up and keeping him to himself sometimes. It was only because he loved him so much that he wanted to be the only one Hop thought about, admired, and turned to when he needed somebody.

Leon could smile to himself, knowing that his love for Hop was so strong, so overwhelming, that even if he ended up doing something that Hop saw as hurting him, that it wasn’t true. He would never hurt Hop.

And _damn_ , was it going to be hard to hold back on him once Raihan left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t wanna say this fic is about to come to an end buuuuut
> 
> We are getting there lol slowly but surely! ;)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much fun writing this one! Raihan really is the life of the party hehee

Leon spent the rest of the day tidying his apartment, finishing his laundry and the like. It was just past noon when he finished fitting his sheets back on the bed and he stood straight, tossing his hair over his shoulder and wondering what on earth he could possibly do now. Raihan had stated he wouldn’t be there until later that afternoon, so he still had a few more hours to kill, but Leon wasn’t sure what else he could do in the meantime.

With no more options, as his apartment was as clean as it could ever be, he made his way back to the living room, surprised to see Hop seated on the sofa, flipping channels on the telly. A bit odd considering how not long ago, his brother had been moving about the apartment as though he were still half asleep, but it wasn’t like Leon was going to complain. Seeing Hop actually take the initiative and _do_ something other than stare off into space was improvement in Leon’s eyes.

Though, as he walked up behind him, he paused for a moment when Hop, still flipping through the stations, reached up to cover his mouth and coughed a few times. It was a dry cough, much like he’d been doing on and off all morning, but Leon rounded the corner until he was stopped right in front of him. Hop didn’t acknowledge him, but Leon crossed his arms.

“Are you okay? You keep coughing.”

“M’fine.” His voice was muffled as he covered his mouth, letting out a slew of smaller coughs, but Leon rolled his eyes at the way he brushed him off like that. It was better than silence, but it still annoyed him.

“Right. Let me check—” As he spoke, Leon dipped down, placing his palm against Hop’s forehead, and almost jumped when he didn’t expect Hop to flinch away from him, scrambling back against the couch and finally looking up at him.

“Don’t _touch_ me.”

Leon frowned. There it was again—the way Hop spoke to him, pulling away from him like Leon’s touch was fire that burned him, and that look in his eye as though he were a cornered animal about to be devoured. It shouldn’t have bit at him the way it did, but despite how badly Leon tried not to let Hop’s attitude get to him, he couldn’t help it.

“Apparently, I don’t have to touch you at all anymore.” He hadn’t wanted to bring up last night, but here he was—all because Hop had the nerve to pull away from him like this after all they’d been through. Leon had already touched him plenty. Had already seen him naked, had already been _inside_ of him, heard Hop orgasm and moan in his mouth when he kissed him—so what the fuck could Leon possibly still do to get him accustomed to his touch? They should have been passed this, Hop should have been used to it.

Hop said nothing, but pulled his head to the side when he lifted his arm to cough into it, causing Leon to frown even harder at him.

“You’re obviously getting sick. I just want to check for a fever. Quit being a baby.” Not waiting for Hop to respond, he gripped hold of his arm, pulling him back toward him and ignoring the way Hop resisted only for a moment before slamming his eyes shut as Leon pressed his palm to his forehead. He wasn’t warm, but that wasn’t much to go on. Leon released him, resisting the urge to roll his eyes when Hop scrambled back up against the couch away from him again. “Does your throat hurt?”

“No.”

“Are you sore? Anything hurt?”

“Nothing _hurts_ , just leave me alone already.”

“Fine.” Leaning away from him, Leon tried to bite down his temper as he moved away from the couch and across the room toward the kitchen. If he continued trying to talk to Hop, it would only result in an argument, and Leon really— _really_ —did not want to be in a bad mood when Raihan finally got there. If Hop insisted he wasn’t sick, then he would just have to take his word for it and let him be stubborn all he wanted. Hop was in one of those moods Leon knew would only result in a tantrum if he kept pushing him. Any other time, he would push back, but he just didn’t have the energy to engage right now.

The rest of the afternoon went by in awkward silence. Leon hadn’t tried talking to Hop anymore, allowing him his space as he spent most of the afternoon plastered on the couch watching the news. Every once in awhile he erupted into a small fit of coughs, and as worried as Leon was getting about him, he decided not to insist anything. If Hop wanted to be a hardass, then let him. Leon could worry about it later once Raihan decided to leave, but for now, as long as Hop was still up and moving around, it couldn’t have been that bad.

At some point, Hop holed himself up in his room, and Leon could hear small sounds coming from the other side of the door every once in awhile and could only assume he was playing on his phone, or doing something on his computer, but he didn’t bother him. Speaking of phones, Leon retrieved his from his bedroom while he remembered and flinched when he saw he had a missed call from Raihan, along with several texts.

Whoops. He kinda forgot to check his phone the entire time he was running around cleaning, but all the texts said were things like, Raihan was still busy, he was almost done, and finally a text sent about ten minutes ago that said he was about to head out, buy some alcohol, and he would be there soon. Pulling open the text box, Leon simply sent a reply that said ‘ok’ before pocketing his phone and returning to the living room.

Hop was still in his room, doing who knew the hell what, but Leon tried not to dwell on it as he sat down on the sofa and channel surfed. He wasn’t really interested in watching anything, but it was something to occupy his mind with and distract himself from the muffled coughs he could hear every once in awhile coming from Hop’s room. There should have been some cough medicine in his cabinet, but he doubted if he attempted to get Hop to take it, that he would comply. Whenever his brother decided to quit acting like this, Leon would attempt to try and talk to him again, but it was better to stay away for now.

It wasn’t like he was all the way down in Postwick and Leon was going insane not being close to him. He was only separated by a wall this time, close enough Leon could hear the tiny sounds of his phone from his bedroom, and it gave him some peace of mind knowing Hop was right here with him where he could keep an eye out. It made him feel a lot better, even if he wasn’t right next to him, even if they weren’t talking, seeing each other, but knowing Hop was here was a huge relief Leon never realized he needed. All that time he spent worrying about him was something he could put in the back of his mind, and although Leon still did worry about him, it wasn’t like he couldn’t just open the door and see him. Hop wasn’t a train ride away anymore.

Leon wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but the sun was just dipping outside of his window, the orange glow causing the shadows in his apartment to start stretching. Just as he was about to doze off on the couch, a loud banging from his front door made him jolt straight up, causing the remote to fall from his lap and clatter to the floor.

“Dammit, Raihan!” It never failed every time his friend did that, he received a mini heart attack, and he strode across the room, yanking the door open and seeing that smug grin on the other side.

“Hey, champ. Long time no see.”

“You were here Friday, asshole.”

“Exactly.” Letting himself in through the door, Raihan gripped hold of a bag that Leon could only guess was full of alcohol, as he could hear glass bottles clinking together as he moved toward the kitchen. Leon shut the door behind him, following him as he placed the bag on the counter and began removing bottles of liquor, whiskey, and soda. “For the kid,” he said, pushing a bottle of strawberry soda to the side. “Probably likes sweets like you, right?”

Leon nodded, helping him organize the bottles and damn, did he really have to buy so much? “Yeah. He might not drink with us, but thanks for getting him soda.”

“Where is Little Lee anyway?” Raihan took a moment to crane his neck in both directions as though expecting Hop to be hiding somewhere.

“In his room.” Taking hold of the shopping bags, Leon disposed of them before reaching up into his cabinet to pull out some glasses.

“Whoa, starting the party early?” Raihan grinned. “Count me in.”

“I just need something.” It didn’t matter what. Anything would do, so Leon grabbed the first vodka bottle he could, twisting the cap off before pouring himself a shot. Throwing his head back, he swallowed his shot in one gulp before shivering at the burn in his throat.

“Damn, are you stressed or something? Never seen you desperate to get buzzed before.” Giving him a rough pat on the back, almost causing Leon to drop his shot glass, Raihan unscrewed a nearby bottle of liquor before pouring himself a whole glass. Throwing his head back much in the same fashion as Leon had, he shotgunned it before sucking in a huge gulp of air and setting the glass back on the counter. “Mmm, stings.”

“I’m not stressed.” Well, maybe that was a lie. Leon wasn’t really sure himself, but he quickly poured himself another shot. It wouldn’t be a good idea to get too hammered, as it was still early in the evening and the sun hadn’t even finished setting, but he at least wanted something to numb his mind a little.

“Sure, champ. Whatever you say.” As Raihan poured himself another glass of liquor, Leon took a moment to wash his glass in the sink, and set it on the counter to be used for later. Just as he whipped around to ask Raihan what he felt like eating for dinner, he had barely opened his mouth to say what he had to say before Raihan was on him.

In that split moment he had taken a mouthful of his shot, Raihan gripped Leon by his collar, pulling him in close, and kissed him on the mouth, attempting to shovel the liquor past Leon’s lips. He choked without meaning to, and shoved Raihan against his chest so hard that he was knocked backward, almost dropped his glass, and Leon struggled to swallow the liquor in his mouth as it dribbled down his chin. He sputtered and coughed, not meaning to when he did so, when the burn hit the back of his throat and he erupted into a coughing fit as it went down the wrong way.

“Champ?” Raihan, though having been shoved backward, was right at his side, pounding Leon on the back as he coughed and fought to compose himself. “Sorry, was that too much for you? Didn’t mean to choke you.”

“N-no.” Leon’s face burned as he hadn’t meant to shove him like he did, but—even though he and Raihan used to make out all the time, his face was gushing heat at the thought that he couldn’t kiss him like that anymore. Not with Hop here. Not when he was in a relationship with his brother. Leon couldn’t do things like this anymore, but he wasn’t sure how to tell Raihan that as he knew when he got drunk enough he’d start getting handsy. “S-sorry.” Wiping at his chin, he rubbed away the excess that had dribbled down and stood up straight, his chest hurting from that, but trying not to let it show.

“Want me to go with soda next time?” Raihan let out a laugh, and Leon knew he was just giving him a hard time, but he didn’t choke on it because the liquor was too much. Leon swallowed. His instinct had taken over when he thought about doing things like that with anyone other than Hop, and the last thing he would ever want to do was cheat on his brother—as Leon only had eyes for him, was only interested in doing things like this with _Hop_. How on earth was he going to tell Raihan that?

Well, he didn’t have to tell him the entire truth. As he watched Raihan pop open the bottle of strawberry soda, he swallowed before wiping his mouth and looked off to the side. “Um.” His cheeks gushed heat. “Rai—don’t do that anymore, okay?”

Pausing just as he was about to pour a glass of soda, Raihan gave him a confused look. “Sorry, you really hated that one? Didn’t think it would burn that bad.”

“No.” Leon couldn’t look at him, try as he might, he couldn’t bite down his embarrassment from what he was about to say, but he forced the words out. “Don’t kiss me anymore.”

“Why?” He didn’t sound angry or upset, but simply curious, and Leon finally rose his gaze from the side to look him in the eye, knowing that his cheeks were red.

“I’m seeing someone.”

“ _Oh_?” Within seconds, Raihan was back at his side, and wrapped an arm around him, giving him a toothy grin. “Look at you, champ. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Leon only blushed harder. “It’s sorta…just recent.” This was awkward as hell, but he wasn’t sure any other way to tell him.

“Who’s the lucky lover? Wait, is it a guy or gal?”

Leon’s face exploded with heat, and he knew his whole face was red, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it, even as he opened his mouth, he felt compelled to simply tell Raihan the truth, as he had a sneaking suspicion that he wouldn’t care that he was in an intimate relationship with his own brother—but, he held back. Although he knew Raihan was into some freaky shit, this seemed like a personal matter Leon ought to keep to himself, and he swallowed, closing his eyes before sucking in air.

“Sorry. I’m sworn to secrecy.”

Raihan rolled his eyes, but backed off, unraveling his arm from around Leon as he poured himself a glass of soda. “Boring, but whatever. When do I get to meet ‘em?”

Before Leon could open his mouth to reply, the door from across the hallway opened, and they both turned to see Hop emerge from his room, freezing when he spied Raihan. For a moment, it looked like he was about to go crawling back inside, but he stepped out, which surprised Leon. He didn’t know why, but he figured Hop would have been too shy to step out of his room and actually want to see Raihan, but it made him happy seeing him be sociable like this.

“Oh—”

“Little Lee!” Raihan cut him off, crossing the room before he gave Hop a pat on the back and a toothy grin. “Was wondering where you you hiding. Good to see you!”

Leon cringed a bit to see Raihan act so casually with his brother like this. It was just an innocent gesture, but he could see Hop fold in on himself a bit, if not force a half smile at Raihan when he did so, only to look to the floor.

Why…why did Raihan get that much of a smile from him? Hop hadn’t smiled at him like that in weeks. Not even a half-smile, but Leon had gotten absolutely fucking nothing. It twisted down into his stomach and he fought to keep himself in line. Maybe Hop didn’t even realize he had done it, but Leon saw it plain as day on his face when he awkwardly spoke to Raihan. At this point, he would have preferred it if Hop stayed in his room, but he tried his damndest not to let it get to him. Raihan was harmless, he didn’t have to be jealous of him.

But Raihan also didn’t know Hop was the person Leon meant when he said he was seeing someone. So watching him pat his back, grin at him, even getting Hop to return a forced half smile to him—Leon swallowed down all those ugly emotions. There was nothing behind it. No meaning. It was all innocent gestures, innocent conversation. It didn’t _mean_ anything.

That didn’t stop him from taking another shot.

“So, how do you like Wyndon?” Raihan had moved back to his spot in front of the sink, grabbing the bottle of soda and pouring a glass for Hop who hovered around next to the counter. Leon moved out of the way as Raihan handed his brother his glass and he nodded his head as he took a sip.

“It’s…big.” Hop’s voice was soft, and he had taken to glancing down at his soda, watching the fizz and tiny bubbles rise to the top.

“Yeah, it is, but more to explore, right?”

Hop nodded, but didn’t say anything, and Leon would have been lying if he said seeing his brother not completely comfortable talking to Raihan made him feel better. It was just his jealousy seeping out, but he couldn’t help it. For Hop to stand there, smile at him like he did, even though it wasn’t genuine and Leon _knew_ it wasn’t genuine, it was grating at the back of his mind like someone was actually beating him over the head with something. _Fuck_ —he couldn’t help but silently pour himself a full glass of vodka as he tried to quell his emotions.

Before Raihan could keep pestering his brother, Leon swallowed his vodka, wincing a bit at the sting, and stepped up next to him. “What do you want to do about food?”

Raihan shrugged, setting his glass back on the counter. “Don’t care. We can get take out or something, and I’m sure you don’t feel like cooking for three people.”

Well, he wasn’t _wrong_. “What kind of takeout?”

His friend gave him a small grin before gesturing toward Hop. “Why not let Little Lee decide?”

Leon turned to see his brother, now leaning up against the counter, about a quarter of his soda gone, perk up when they both looked at him, face gushing red as he turned his gaze off to the side. Raihan let out a laugh at it.

“Come on, don’t be bashful! Get something expensive so the champ can pay for it.”

Leon elbowed him in the ribs, causing Raihan to let out a choked cough. “Hey, I’ve paid the last three times we’ve eaten out, when are you going to quit mooching off me?”

“Come on, I told you I’d pay you back.”

“So pay back right now!”

Shrugging, Raihan threw his head back to crack his neck before digging his hands into the front of his hoodie. “Ain’t got my wallet tonight.”

“Oh bullshit, how did you get all the booze then? You steal it?”

“No, just brought exactly enough money for booze is all.”

Leon rolled his eyes, letting out a groan of disdain that Raihan laughed at before his friend clapped him on the back.

“Come on, champ, you don’t wanna leave Little Lee hanging, right?”

He lifted his head up to give Raihan a sarcastic eyebrow raise. “Is that why you’re putting this on him? Because you know I’ll pay for it if he chooses what we eat?”

Raihan shrugged, picking up his glass once again and taking a gulp. “You said it, not me.”

Letting out a sigh, Leon turned back to his brother who, quite surprisingly, was standing leaned against the counter, watching the two of them go back and forth, and he could have sworn—though maybe it was his imagination—that he could see some light in his eyes then. It was that look Hop often had while he was watching Pokémon matches, though not quite as energetic, Leon could still see it in the way his expression was softened that he had gotten some kind of enjoyment out of that. Maybe enjoyment was too strong of a word still, but Leon couldn’t quite place the expression on his face. Though, the moment Leon met his gaze, his brother quickly looked down, avoiding eye contact with him, and he saw the all too familiar scene of him receding into himself.

Why was he only ever coming back to his old self when Raihan was here? Why couldn’t he act like this when it was just him and Leon? All Leon ever got out of him were biting words, hurtful confessions, and protests, but Raihan got more life than Leon had been allowed to see in _weeks_. That biting jealousy was threatening to resurface, but Leon tried his hardest to ignore it and move on. Though, it was already here and no amount of pushing it in the back of his mind was going to make it go away. Leon knew that.

“Fine. I don’t mind what you want to eat, Hop. You can get whatever you want.” He really didn’t mind, and as much as he and Raihan bickered back and forth, he wasn’t actually upset at his friend for skipping out on three meals and leaving Leon with the bill. This was just their usual banter.

Raihan gave a small snicker as he leaned against the sink. “Get the most expensive place in town. That, uh, what’s it called? The curry place down the street.”

Leon folded his arms, also leaning against the counter since everyone else was doing it too. “We ate there yesterday. Pretty sure Hop doesn’t want the same thing again.” He glanced over at his brother who was still focusing on the bubbles in his glass. “Unless you want it. I don’t mind, really.”

Hop nodded. “That’s fine.”

Leaning up to his full height, Raihan shot a fist in the air. “Woohoo! Get to ordering some food then, champ.” With that, he made his way over to Hop who shrank back at first, but Raihan gave him a pat on the shoulder, Leon having to grit his teeth and resist the urge to yank him back by his stupid hoodie. Just when did Raihan think it was okay to grab onto Hop like that? He knew his friend could get handsy, especially when he was drunk, but he had no idea he would get _this_ comfortable with Hop so quickly. Leon had no qualms about getting in a fight with Raihan if he made any moves on his brother. He may have been taller than him, but Leon was confident he could take him in a fight if push came to shove.

What was even worse than Raihan doing things like that was the fact Leon noticed Hop didn’t flinch at his touch. He didn’t shy away, pull back, or cave into himself. If anything, he stiffened a little, but it was still such a jarring reaction to it than when Leon wanted to touch him. He figured he would have been much more shy around Raihan, hidden into his shell, but he was surprised as hell he had even come out of his room, thinking he would spend the whole evening closed up while he and Raihan got drunk watching the telly.

“Hey, what happened to your neck?”

At that, Leon was pulled from his thoughts and froze, but not before whipping his head back up to Hop who was also frozen by Raihan’s sudden question. His brother reached up to cover the side of his neck where Leon had left hickeys strewn about, and he nervously looked off to the side. It was quite obvious the question flustered him and Leon grew ill at the thought of Raihan egging him on to tell him where they came from. Of course he knew what they were.

“N-nothing.”

Just when Raihan was about to press him, begin to no doubt tease him about it, Leon stepped away from the counter. “Come on, Raihan, tell me what you want to eat so I can hurry up and order the food.”

He doubted trying to pull the focus away from Hop was going to go all that smooth, but he was pleasantly surprised by his friend straightening back and giving him a grin before he stretched his arms and tucked his hands behind his head. He must have gotten the hint. “You already know what I like, champ.”

Leon nodded, hoping this was the end of that discussion as Hop looked about as uncomfortable as ever, and he pulled out his phone to order them their dinner, his hands a bit shaky. At least Raihan was smart enough to know he ought to keep his mouth shut.

Still, the image of him touching his brother the way he did—

It wouldn’t be a good idea to dwell on things like this, but Leon had half a mind to pull Hop away from Raihan, tell his friend to stop _getting so comfortable_ with his brother as though he felt like he had any _right_ to put his hands on him like that, how dare he say anything about his hickeys because it was none of his _damn_ business—and drag Hop to his bedroom where he would keep him to himself and demand he tell him why in the hell he let Raihan do that to him, but not Leon? As much as he wanted to, Leon bit the blood from his lip, instead turning to the alcohol to dull his senses and try to bury down those ugly emotions.

It was one thing to call attention to the marks on Hop’s body, but it was another thing entirely for Raihan to get as touchy with him as he was. Leon swallowed down those thoughts along with another shot of vodka.

The next hour came and went and eventually the three of them migrated to the sofa, Raihan on his second bottle of liquor, and no worse for wear, opposed to Leon who was getting buzzed by this point, but Raihan had always been better about handling his alcohol than him. He often teased him about it, called Leon a lightweight, and they would both drunkenly make out while forgetting what they were even arguing about in the first place.

“You want a drink, Little Lee?” Raihan held up his bottle, having ditched the glass long ago and was drinking straight. “You been wolfing down that soda like nobody’s business.”

Both Raihan and Leon were seated next to each other on the couch, Hop having let himself over into the chair off in the corner next to them as he’d been keeping mostly to himself and drinking his soda in tiny increments while Raihan and Leon talked, but he perked up when Raihan spoke to him, Leon looking over at him as well. “Um.” For a split second, he looked up at Leon, giving him a quick glance that Leon could only assume was a silent way of asking him for permission.

“It’s okay, Hop.” Leon wasn’t quite as hammered as he wanted to be, but his voice was definitely hitting that point where he was starting to slur. “I don’t care if you drink.”

It was strange Hop felt the need to want Leon’s permission like that, as—he wasn’t Mum. Hop didn’t necessarily _need_ his permission for anything really, but Leon couldn’t deny it kind of made him a little happy at the same time. That Hop would hesitate until he knew Leon was okay with it. It made his chest warm, but that could have just been the vodka too. Strange for his brother to do that, especially with how he acted earlier that day, but Leon didn’t dwell on it. He could appreciate the small moments like these if anything, and he sank down into the couch as Raihan reached across from him, motioning for Hop to hand him his soda before he poured some liquor into it.

“There you go. Lemme know if you want more.”

Hop said a soft ‘thanks’ before taking a gulp, and Leon couldn’t help but sputter out a laugh at the face he made. Obviously, Hop had never drank before if his reaction was any indication, but he scrunched up, slamming his eyes shut as it no doubt burned when he swallowed and Leon couldn’t help to laugh at him when he almost spat it back out. It was probably from getting slowly drunk on his own, but Leon knew he laughed way too hard when it wasn’t even that funny.

Raihan had let out a chuckle next to him too. “Too much?”

Hop shook his head, cheeks gushing as Leon’s outburst no doubt embarrassed him. He wanted to say sorry and hug him, but he couldn’t help it. His _face_. As embarrassed as he was, Leon hadn’t seen his brother make a face like that in so long, he couldn’t help to laugh. “N-no, just didn’t expect it to burn like that.”

“You’re even more of a lightweight than your brother, jeez.” Tossing his head back, Raihan took a long gulp of his bottle, at least halfway done with it now before he set it down on the end table.

The sun had set long ago, and Leon only continued to get more hammered as the night went on. Their food arrived, they ate, he and Raihan laughed, carried on, all the while Hop sat off on his own in the corner, quietly eating his food and sipping his soda while Leon and Raihan were both drunk.

Raihan insisted they turn the telly on to one of the ongoing Pokémon gym matches, though it was a rerun at this point, he pointed when Nessa came on the screen, having defeated the challenger who stood just off camera, and Leon felt his friend clap his hand on his shoulder, a little too hard as he grunted under the weight, but he was also laughing with him at the same time.

“Look!” Raihan’s voice was slurred to hell and back, a bit louder now as he pulled Leon over to him to make absolutely _sure_ he was watching the telly, but Leon just snickered at him, being manhandled this way was making him laugh way more than it should have. He was digging his fingers way too hard into his shoulder, but Leon was too drunk to feel the pain.

“I-I’m—looking, Rai.”

“See? She—oh boy—they’re losing her— _to her_ , champ! Ain’t that—they’re so dumb. These kids these days, holy shit.” Leaning over for a moment, Raihan took another swig of his bottle before leaning back on the couch.

Leon followed suit, taking a gulp of his vodka and feeling the room spin when he leaned up. Everything was going around in circles, and he couldn’t help to laugh at it all, covering his mouth as he did. “Yeah—poor Nessa. She—oh, don’t tell her, Rai, but she’s so bad.”

“ _Nooo,_ champ, I love her to death—but she does suck.”

“So bad.”

“She is. But, she doesn’t suck—nearly bad like Milo.”

“Oh, he’s even worse.”

“Has Milo ever won a match?”

They continued slurring back and forth to each other, and even in Leon’s drunken stupor, even as the room was spinning and he was seconds from being on the floor to make it all stop, he became aware of Hop erupting into a fit of coughs next to him. He hadn’t heard him cough much all day, but from where it sounded dry before, was beginning to sound much worse, and he turned around, swaying as he did so, to see Hop with his mouth covered.

“Hop?” He swayed, catching himself from stumbling over by grabbing hold of the cushion below him. “You okay?”

“Fine.” He stood then, having not finished his soda, so Leon suspected he hadn’t even gotten buzzed from what little alcohol he had consumed. As his brother crossed the room, right in front of him, Leon couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and grabbing hold of his sleeve.

“Wait, where—wh-where you going?” Even his own slurring voice was obvious to him, and Leon knew if he stood up, there was little doubt he would fall right back over.

“Bathroom.”

“C’mere.” Pulling at his sleeve, he didn’t mean to use as much force as he did, but when he yanked him, Hop stumbled for a moment, almost falling into his lap when he did so, but Leon caught his arm to steady him, letting out a loud laugh. “Sorry! Didn’t mean to.”

Hop said nothing, but he could feel him pull against him as he tried to right himself back up and leave. “Lee, come on, I gotta pee.”

“Wait, Hop, wait.” He pulled at his shirt again, trying to get Hop to lean down long enough that he was level with him, but Hop was adamant to try and pull away. “Gimme a kiss first.”

The sharp inhale Hop did was loud enough for the both of them to hear, and Leon was only halfway aware that Raihan had perked up in his seat next to him, but he was too far gone to care about it. In his drunken stupor, all he wanted was for Hop to kiss him, and he continued to pull him down close to him, only to be met with Hop pulling away. He laughed, a bit too loud, too sloppy, slurred as all hell even to his own ears. And he didn’t give a damn if Raihan saw him do this. It would serve him right for thinking he had any right to get chummy with Hop the way he had.

“No, Lee—I gotta—let go, I gotta _go_.”

“C’mon, real quick, Hop.” Without waiting for his brother to respond, Leon gripped his arm a final time before pulling him down, causing Hop to stumble, but this time, he tripped, falling over his own feet as he was pulled into his lap, but it was all the time Leon needed to pull his collar up and kiss him on the mouth. Hop pushed at his chest in an instant, righting himself back up just as Leon let go of him and he let out a loud laugh, the room spinning so much that he finally rested his head down on the couch, and his brother wiped at his mouth, obviously flustered as he quickly scampered away from them, disappearing down the hall where Leon could hear the bathroom door shut. He was just too cute, Leon couldn’t resist, and in this state, he didn’t give two shits what Raihan had to say about it. It was none of his concern anyway. 

His friend leaned up next to him, also letting out a slew of drunken laughs before Leon melted back against the sofa, heat gushing from his face and he couldn’t help but smile. If only Hop had gotten hammered with them, maybe he would’ve been more open to the idea of fooling around with Leon. In a fucked up kind of way, he _wanted_ Raihan to see, so that he would know that Hop was Leon’s, and he had absolutely no right to touch him the way he had earlier, even if it was innocent, even if it was casual and there was no hidden meaning behind it, what Leon had done was a power move, and he knew it. He wanted Raihan to know damn well that he wasn’t allowed to touch his brother, or even look at him the wrong way.

“Thought…” As Leon’s thoughts jumbled together, both from the vodka and kissing Hop right in front of his friend, he could just hear Raihan’s slurred voice next to him. “Thought you were seeing someone?” He continued letting out laughs along with Leon as they both started swaying a bit.

Leon nodded. “I am.”

“Your bro into freaky shit or something, then?”

Again, Leon nodded, taking a moment he wasn’t swaying to grab another swig of his bottle. “Oh yeah. He’s shy, but—” He cut himself off as he snorted. “He _loves_ it.”

“Hey, no judgement, champ.” Leon could hear the sounds of his friend laughing to himself as he turned his face away, holding his forehead like he might tumble to the floor any moment now. Leon was right there with him. The whole damn room wouldn’t stop spinning. “Just didn’t—can’t see Little Lee being a freak like us, but—” He laughed through his nose. “He _is_ your brother.”

Leon snorted again, taking the moment to reach over for his bottle again, but having no such luck with his coordination. “He loves it. C-can’t tell you— _ughhhh_ —can’t tell you how bad he’s into it, Rai.”

“Really?”

Before Leon could respond, he heard the toilet flush from across the hall, and Hop emerged from the bathroom not long after, poking his head around the corner at the pair before letting out a sheepish, “Um,” and causing them both to look back at him. “I’m going to bed.” He coughed into his arm again, Leon noticing how it was a bit worse this time, a lot more wet-sounding, but as he leaned up, the room spinning much more now, he had wanted to stand off the couch and tend to him, but he was just too drunk right now, and he only lie back down in defeat.

Instead, he gave his brother a wave, Raihan following with a wave of his own. “M’kay. W-we’ll try ‘n keep it down, right, Rai?”

His friend nodded. “Sure. Sleep well, Little Lee.”

The next sound was of Hop entering his bedroom, closing the door behind him, leaving Raihan and Leon alone on the couch as the telly droned on with gym challenger news. Nothing new was happening anyway. At least no new challengers had made it far enough to be considered news worthy. Leon wasn’t sure if that was good news on Raihan’s end or not, as it meant he didn’t really have much to do at his gym and he got more time to goof off.

“So.” With another quick swig, Raihan finished off his bottle, setting it across on the end table before he leaned back. “You’re d-definitely skipping tomorrow?”

Leon laughed. “Duh. Not go-going into work with a hangover.”

“Damn. Gotta say, I’m jealous, champ.”

“What for?”

Raihan moved from his spot on the couch then, leaning over Leon who had been lying on his back, but his friend climbed over him, swaying a bit as he did so, pressing his hands on either side of Leon’s head.

“That I—that I can’t kiss you anymore.”

Leon snorted, giving him a playful shove to his shoulder. Ugh, every movement he made was starting to hurt his head. “Sorry, Rai.”

“You think…Champ, what about the kid?”

Leon rubbed as his face, Raihan starting to tilt with the room as he looked up at him. “Hop? What about him?”

“You said he’s into freaky shit.”

He shrugged. “Yeah?”

“What if the three of us—”

Even in his drunken state, despite the room spinning, despite his dazed state where Leon was laughing at nothing, absolutely nothing and yet everything at the same time, despite how far gone he was, he reached up and gripped hold of Raihan’s hoodie by the collar, dragging his face down to him just close enough that his nose was almost touching his and gave him a hard stare.

“Don’t you—” His vision glazed when Raihan’s face spun and he had to shut his eyes to refocus before giving his friend a lidded glare. “Don’t you _dare touch him_ , Raihan.” Even through his slurs, Leon’s voice had lowered until he was practically growling, though he hadn’t meant for it to sound that way, he just hoped Raihan got the message.

“Easy, champ.” Letting out a soft snort, Raihan gripped hold of Leon’s fist that had cupped his collar before untangling his fingers from him. “I got it. Was only askin’.”

“He’s off limits, Rai.” Leon lay back as Raihan pulled himself away, and his friend leaned back into the cushion before he sank down, letting out a sigh.

“Whatever you say, champ.”

“ _I mean it_ , Raihan.” Leon had pulled up enough, even though the room was tilting over and over, his hair pooling down around his shoulders, he glared across at his friend as he sat up, holding his forehead in his hand as his headache only worsened.

Raihan held both hands up in a gesture of defeat. “Leon, _I got it_. You only had to tell me once.”

“Okay.” Ugh, not only was the room spinning, but his head was starting to kill him. Standing from the sofa, Leon swayed for a moment before catching himself. He had to pee so bad, it just hit him all at once and he stumbled past Raihan who had leaned his head back against the couch, smiling as he closed his eyes like he might drift off any moment.

Leon stumbled into the bathroom, frantically unzipping his pants and doing his business. Nothing was worse than struggling to stand after binge drinking alcohol while he had to relieve himself, but he pressed his palm against the wall in front of him, trying to get steady. It wouldn’t be very fun to wake up in a pile of his own mess if he tripped, but he managed to do his business, clean up, and exit the bathroom with no faux pas.

He was about to head back to the couch and planned on crashing there as he had no doubt Raihan was already planning to sleep there too. It wouldn’t be that comfortable to share a couch, but they had done it before after a night of particularly rowdy partying, and this was no exception.

But.

Leon paused as he passed by Hop’s door. It was quiet on the other end, and he half wanted to open the door, climb in bed with his brother, and leave him in peace at the same time. He had been coughing a lot lately and Leon suspected all along that he was coming down with something, despite how Hop insisted he was fine, he knew he wasn’t. His cough was only getting worse, and it was starting to worry him, but for now— Leon sighed, swaying a bit as he turned away from Hop’s door and made a beeline for the couch. For now, he would have to bite down urges like that, especially with Raihan here. Even though it was none of his damn business if Leon wanted to sleep next to Hop, he restrained himself.

He may have been hammered, but Leon was pissed at his friend for suggesting what he had tried to suggest earlier. Even though Leon cut him off, he knew exactly where Raihan was getting at with that, and he was absolutely _not okay_ with it. He doubted Hop would be too, as he was already shy around Leon, but the thought of someone else putting their hands on his brother drove him over the edge. Nobody, not even Raihan, not even his best friend, was allowed to see him that way.

Hop was _his_. Only Leon was allowed to see him naked, only Leon was allowed to kiss him, touch him, hold him close and tell him how much he loved him. Hop was his, and Leon would make damn sure Raihan knew that the next time he thought about making a move on his brother. It didn’t matter if this was his closest friend, Leon wouldn’t hesitate to hurt him if he stooped low enough to come onto Hop like that.

It put him in a sour mood, which only continued to fester even after he sat down on the couch, Raihan having dozed off like he figured as he sat slumped up against the cushions. Leon returned to his spot on the other end of him, and curled up on his side, the room still spinning as he did so, but much less now than before and he watched the telly for awhile as it droned on in front of him.

The more sober he got in that position, the more angry he was growing. All the thoughts from today were eating at him, haunting his mind where he couldn’t relax enough to fall asleep, because all he could think about was Hop giving Raihan that half smile that he did, all he could think about was Raihan having the nerve to suggest he, Leon, and Hop get intimate together, and all he could think was how he would feel absolutely no remorse if he had to hurt Raihan in order to protect his little brother. Leon and Raihan may have fooled around in the past, but he would be damned if Raihan thought Hop was supposed to fit into that equation as well.

It was crazy the way Leon’s mind buzzed with thoughts like these, scenarios playing over and over like a horror movie as he thought of all the horrible things he might wind up doing if Raihan gave him a reason to hurt him. He knew he had told Hop he was harmless, and he still held onto that belief, but—

The fact he asked him—or tried to ask him that, was something Leon couldn’t stop thinking about. For Raihan to even _suggest_ that to him obviously meant he thought Hop was attractive enough to want to have sex with him—and it burned into his body, it absolutely made his blood boil to think Raihan was looking at his brother like that. How dare he— _how fucking dare_ Raihan think he was allowed to look at Hop like that, think about him that way, even had the nerve to try and ask Leon’s permission—he bit the blood from his lip, his face hot, his whole body shaking as he lie there, soon hearing the sounds of Raihan’s snores from the other end of the couch.

With these thoughts running through his mind, it seemed like forever he sat there, stewing in his anger, stewing in thoughts like these bad enough to make him want to lean up and punch Raihan straight across the face—but he let out a sigh.

All Raihan had done was ask him, it wasn’t like he had actually tried anything yet, but Leon knew if he did, if he ever found out Raihan so much as lay a finger on his brother, hurt one hair on his head—he wouldn’t hesitate to go after him. He knew then, even long after he closed his eyes and finally drifted off to sleep, Leon knew he wouldn’t hesitate to kill him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for your support! See you next chapter! :D


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY VALENTINES DAY  
> Omg I’m so sorry for the slew of short chapters, but if i had continued on with what’s about to happen, this one would have been another long one, and i don’t want them too long, you know? I can never find that balance between too short and too long, but what do you guys think?

It was cold that morning when Leon was roused from sleep. The cold itself hadn’t woken him, even though he noticed he was shivering and mentally kicked himself for not turning the heater on any higher, but rather the stifled sounds of Hop coughing just beyond the wall. Leon rolled over, forgetting for a moment he was on the couch and almost fell off, but he caught himself, swinging his legs over the side and sat up, hair pooling around his shoulders.

Raihan’s snores just off the side of him brought him out of his groggy state and he checked the clock through sleepy eyes to see it was only seven in the morning. The sun hadn’t even had a chance to peek through his window, but he stood, letting out a groan of discomfort at the feeling of a sharp pain pounding through his skull. He knew it was bound to happen especially after he drank, but it never failed to surprise him just how _bad_ he always felt after drinking.

Any other time, he would have found his way to the kitchen, popped some pain pills, drank a glass of water, and sat down on the couch for a long while until his headache disappeared, but with Hop coughing up a storm in the room right over, the first thing he did after standing to his feet was cross the room and knock on his brother’s door.

“Hop?” And even his voice was a bit raspy, making him cringe at the sound of it. The only answer he received was another bout of coughing. “I’m coming in.”

It was no surprise to see Hop curled up under the covers, his back facing Leon as he strode across the room, placing a hand on his brother’s hip when he did so.

“Hop?”

His brother shivered, but didn’t respond.

“Your cough is worse.” And as bad as Leon’s headache was right now, as much as he couldn’t really stomach much for long before he would wind up retching in the bathroom, he bent down far enough to reach over and place his palm against Hop’s forehead. His brother, his eyes lidded at first, slammed them shut when Leon did so, but he pulled back almost the second he touched him. Hop was on fire. “Shit, you’re burning up.”

“M’fine.” Hop’s voice was what gave Leon the initiative to take him to the doctor. His brother’s voice was so rough and scratchy, it sounded like someone had rubbed it raw with sandpaper. And with him burning up, there was no way Leon could let him stay like this.

“Get up. Get dressed. We’re going to the doctor.” His head was killing him, but to see his brother in this state made that pain so subpar in comparison. One quick stride to his dresser and he pulled out some clothes for him, placing them on the bed. He had half a mind to dress Hop himself, but with Raihan just on the other side of the wall, he didn’t want to embarrass Hop like that, even though he knew full well he had embarrassed him last night. The memories were foggy, but Leon remembered all too well he had kissed his brother in front of Raihan, exposing their relationship. And he absolutely did it on purpose, drunk or not, he could still remember he was pissed at his friend, but for now, he shoved those thoughts aside. That didn’t matter now, as he could be as pissed as he wanted to later, but—

“I’m fine. Just tired.” Hop was making an abysmal case for himself as even while he was sitting up, Leon could see him struggling to stand from bed, his voice still scratchy and he only continued coughing harder. With the way his voice sounded, Leon knew that his throat was probably raw and coughing was incredibly painful.

“Bullshit, get dressed. _Now_.” With that, he turned, not bothering to wait for Hop to respond, and exited the room.

The second Leon closed Hop’s bedroom door behind him, he crossed the hall and entered the bathroom, popped opened the lid of the toilet, and retched. At first, he dry heaved a few times, the cramping in his stomach unbearable as he wished something—anything, would come out, but nothing ever did. He only managed to expel a bit of stomach acid and it burned his throat, but this was nothing compared to how Hop was feeling.

“Champ?” Raihan’s sleepy voice sounded behind him and Leon turned to see him standing in the doorway, leaned up against the frame. He gave him a toothy grin before crossing his arms. “Still can’t handle it, huh, lightweight?”

“Shut up.” He tried his best to sound composed and not hungover, but the retching continued, making his retort fall flat. “I have to take Hop to the doctor.”

“Yeah, I can hear him coughing something fierce.”

Leon finally pulled away from the toilet long enough to stand straight. While his stomach was cramping, he was a bit more confident he wouldn’t throw up anymore, so he headed to the sink to wash the acid from his mouth. “He’s burning up.”

“Poor kid. Makes me feel guilty we got as hammered as we did.”

Well, Leon wanted to argue that there wasn’t much they could have done, as he already knew Hop wasn’t feeling that great, but his brother insisted _nothing_ was wrong— _continued insisting_ nothing was wrong when Leon saw the state he was in now. Ugh, he should have pushed harder, told Hop to go rest when he first heard him coughing, and told Raihan they would hang out another day. Even though he knew deep down this was inevitable, as if Hop was going to get this sick, then he would have reached this state regardless, Leon couldn’t help but worry about him.

“Is there anything I can do?” Raihan asked, still leaned against the frame while Leon brushed his teeth.

He turned back to his friend, quickly scrubbing his back teeth and shrugged before spitting into the sink. “Not really. I’m just gonna take him to get checked out. As rough as he is, I’m sure they’ll give him medicine.”

“Want me to come with you?”

Leon opened his mouth to respond, but the wave of memories from last night came flooding back like some horrible bitter taste in his mouth, not unlike the stomach acid he’d been forced to taste earlier. Without meaning to, he frowned at him, shaking his head. “No.” And he hadn’t meant to sound that curt, but Raihan didn’t appear to notice anything amiss.

“Alright. Give me a call if there’s anyway I can help.”

“Thanks.” He knew he was being rather rude to him, because after all, Raihan was just trying to help, and Leon knew his concerns were genuine. But, that didn’t stop him from thinking about how Raihan tried to suggest a threesome with Hop last night—which Leon was still very much against, even more so now that he was sober. And maybe Raihan had only said that because he was drunk too, and Leon knew people said stupid things they didn’t mean when they were drunk, but he also knew people were way more honest.

The fact Raihan said that while drunk was even more telling, because it meant that he really _was_ looking at Hop like that, and while Leon was pissed as shit at him for it, he only hoped that now Raihan was sober, he would think twice before saying stuff like that to him. It didn’t matter how much he joked around, unleashed drunken confessions to Leon, he would never forgive him if he ever put his hands on Hop.

But, he had a feeling Raihan knew better than to do something stupid like that. He knew how Leon felt about Hop, now that he’d spilled the beans and the relationship was out in the open. Raihan didn’t care. He knew he wouldn’t. The runaround was only for Hop’s sake, so he could spare his brother the embarrassment he’d no doubt feel, but it didn’t matter. Raihan knew Hop was off limits, he knew the two of them were intimate and he didn’t care, so that was that.

With his head killing him, his stomach cramping from retching, and feeling like he needed about two showers just to feel normal again, Leon threw on some clothes that weren’t wrinkled to hell and back, before dipping his head into Hop’s room one last time. His brother lay on the bed, curled into a ball, but dressed in the clothes Leon had laid out for him. He had his jacket draped over himself, and his eyes were closed, but Leon could tell by the stilted way he breathed that he wasn’t sleeping.

“Hop, it’s time to go.”

Slowly, his brother opened his eyes before he rose from bed, and Leon felt a pang of guilt fall into his stomach, only worsening his cramping as he saw how absolutely fucking tired he looked. There were bags under his eyes, the color drained of his face, but he stood on wobbly legs, Leon crossing the room and gripping hold of his arm to steady him.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to carry you?” If he had to in order to get Hop where he needed to take him, Leon didn’t mind, but he already knew the answer before Hop even opened his mouth.

“No. I’m fine.” He sure didn’t sound fine, but Leon only nodded, a bit disappointed, but he expected it.

They met up with Raihan at the front door who was dressed in the same outfit he’d worn the night before, and Leon should have felt guilty he was kicking him out like this, but Hop was his priority and he could apologize to his friend later for throwing him to the curb. They exited the apartment together, Leon trying not to cling too much to Hop’s arm as he walked painfully slow, but he was patient with him the whole way out, knowing if Hop felt as bad as he sounded, that he was doing the best he could.

Raihan gave the pair a wave before parting ways with them just outside the complex. Leon wasted no time in calling a flying taxi for them.

* * *

The whole morning went by at the snail’s pace. Not that that was any of Hop’s fault, but Leon felt things on his end were going in fast motion, and he knew it was because he was worried about his brother. The entire time they were at the doctor’s, his brother kept looking as though he were nodding off, even while attempting a conversation. Leon knew he was fretting over him like a mother hen, but he couldn’t help it. Seeing him in such a state made him wish he could take the sickness in his stead and suffer for him, but that wasn’t how things worked and no matter how much Leon wanted to, he couldn’t magically take it away from him.

By the time they returned to the apartment, Leon practically resorting to toting Hop as he leaned into him part of the way, he wasted no time getting Hop settled back in bed. To his surprise, Hop didn’t protest much even as Leon helped him change into his pajamas, though wishing his face hadn’t gushed with heat at the sight of his brother’s bare chest. For him to have seen him naked as often as he did, Leon couldn’t help but get flustered, because all he could think of was the sight of Hop’s post orgasmic face after he fucked him. But, he buried down thoughts like those. Now wasn’t the time to let his imagination wander, and it did _wander_. The sight of Hop in his boxers was enough to drive Leon wild, but there was no way, absolutely no way he would try and touch Hop while he was as sick as he was.

Damn, was it hard though. Even now, even as Leon helped his brother into bed, tucked him in under the covers, and placed his toy Wooloo next to him, as silly as it was to put his brother to bed with a stuffed animal, he drove Leon crazy. He wanted to pull him up, kiss him, smother him in his love, take this sickness away from him, and he would if he could. There was no reason for Hop to suffer like this, but he also knew it would pass. He knew he had to hold back for Hop’s sake, and he mentally berated himself for thinking of things like that when Hop was as vulnerable as he was right now.

It was shameful, to think about how sexy he looked while huddled under the covers, for Leon to sit and linger for a moment, just a moment, to appreciate Hop’s face. His face, while slacked from exhaustion and flushed from his fever, never looked more beautiful. And Leon couldn’t help but allow the obsessive thoughts to enter his mind, where he thought how Hop might not fight him too much if he made a move on him now, if he fucked his brother while he was feverish—how hot his body would be, how sweaty his skin would get, and how his moans would crackle and tear at his throat as he called out for Leon.

His gaze only lasted a moment, along with those thoughts, before Leon exited the room. How could he think of things like that when Hop was sick? He couldn’t help it. It was starting to freak him out a little just how insatiable he’d gotten, as never had Leon been so… _lustful_ before. It wasn’t like he was a stranger to sex. Piss poor or amazing as fuck, he’d had it all, some with fans, some with paparazzi, he and Raihan even rubbed cocks together before, but when it came to Hop—it was different.

When he first started this whole ordeal, Leon could say he felt guilty. There was guilt there for making Hop uncomfortable, there was guilt in the way that he’d gone about it, as he only wanted Hop to reciprocate, there was guilt in everything he had done to his brother.

But.

Over time, it was beginning to disappear. Leon had rationalized with himself that he never once hurt Hop—and he didn’t. Sure, he had been rough with him that night in the tent, but that could partially be blamed on Hop too, even though he didn’t like to think of it as _blaming_ Hop, he knew at the same time he never really hurt him. For Hop to come like he did, orgasming every time Leon so much as fucked inside of him, brushed his fingers up his legs, suck him off, kiss him so hard that he lost his breath, Hop never complained when he would do that for him. And maybe it was because he was shy, or embarrassed because they were brothers, and really, Leon knew he had come on too strong at first. He let his desires overtake him, destroy his rationale, and he fucked up. He _knew_ he fucked up.

Although the guilt was slowly leaving, Leon was starting to realize something else. Yes, he came on too strong, yes, he knew he made Hop uncomfortable by being as affectionate as he had at the beginning—but Leon would never apologize for being in love with him. He would never apologize for touching him the way he did, kissing him, holding him close—because that was his love for him. That was his love for all those years he spent neglecting his brother. Maybe Hop was embarrassed because it was Leon doing these things to him, and maybe he would always be shy about it, but Leon didn’t mind if he was. He didn’t mind if it took Hop months, maybe even years before he got comfortable enough with him, but Leon knew that time would come one day.

One day, Hop would come to realize everything Leon did, he did because he loved him and only wanted what was best for him. Nobody loved him as much as his brother. Not Mum, not his neighbor, nobody. Only Leon knew how to appreciate Hop, only Leon knew what an amazing person his brother was, how he had no doubt put up with a neglectful mother this entire time Leon had been away. Only Leon knew, when he used to get so much praise from him, what a wonderful, kind, sometimes shy person Hop could be.

He closed his eyes and breathed in. Because he would never, ever apologize for loving Hop.

It was amazing how the former champion of Galar, one of the most revered trainers in history, was reduced to this because of his little brother. Hop made him weak, so weak, until he felt his legs would turn to mush, until he would fall to his knees if that’s what Hop wanted of him, until he said ‘I love you’ a thousand times over if that’s what Hop wanted. Whatever Hop asked of him, Leon wanted to give it to him. His brother deserved happiness, his brother deserved the world to be given to him, he—

Hop should have been the one to face him on that field in the stadium. Hop should have been the one to defeat him in battle and claim his title. It should have been Hop from the start, but—

Leon opened his eyes, letting out a sigh through his nose as he finally pushed himself away down the hall. But…it just didn’t happen that way. There was no praise for his brother, there were no parties or interviews, or pats on the back for losing. If it had been Hop to take his title, Leon would have been so happy. Maybe a bit jealous that his brother had managed to beat him, but he knew he would shower him with the praise he rightfully deserved.

* * *

It was coming up around evening time when Leon stood from the sofa, having watched the telly most of the day, as he wanted to leave Hop in peace so that he could recover, but it was time for his medicine. Twice a day, for the next week, even if Hop felt better, he wasn’t supposed to skip out unless he wanted to relapse, so Leon fetched it for him, pouring him a glass of juice to go along with it before entering through his bedroom door.

Hop lay curled on his side, back facing Leon and he appeared to be sleeping, his breathing heavy.

“Hop?” Leon spoke gently, setting down his juice on the nightstand and giving his brother a gentle nudge in his side. At first, he didn’t stir, but Leon was surprised when he watched him roll over onto his back to look up at him, his eyes lidded from sleep, jaw slack, and despite just being roused from sleep, his poor brother looked exhausted. Leon offered him a smile as he held out the glass of juice for him. “How are you feeling?”

Hop only nodded, but didn’t speak, not that Leon blamed him. As rough as he sounded before, his throat probably hurt every time he had to speak, but he was happy he at least acknowledged him. With the attitude Hop had been giving him all day yesterday, Leon figured he wouldn’t want to engage much with him, but he was surprised at how well Hop minded him today. He didn’t argue, didn’t protest when Leon insisted he tug his arm, didn’t seem to mind as he mothered him, but that could all be due to his illness as well. He was probably too tired to argue.

Leon had to swallow at the thought his brother was too tired to give him lip right now, as any other time he’d be arguing, pushing at him, but he tried not to dwell on it. Things like that didn’t matter. His brother was sick, feverish, and was relying on Leon to take good care of him, something Leon was all too happy to do.

Taking the glass from him, Hop sat up in bed, leaning back enough that he was seated, but pressed against his pillow before he took a sip of his drink. Leon handed him his medicine, watching him swallow it in one gulp.

“Are you hungry?”

Hop shook his head no.

Well, Leon didn’t expect him to be, especially with a sore throat, not that he blamed him. He wouldn’t want to be in pain every time he swallowed his food either, but he still needed him to eat something—it didn’t matter what. Hop was too thin to skip out on a single meal. So, Leon gave him another smile. “How about some ice cream? It’ll feel good on your throat.”

There was a pause, as though Hop was contemplating this, before he gave a slow nod.

That was all the confirmation Leon needed. “Okay. I’ll be right back.” Leaning away from his brother, Leon strode across the room, passed the hall, and into the kitchen. It shouldn’t have made him this happy taking care of Hop like this, fixing food for him, tucking him into bed, and the like, but it did. To have Hop rely on him, put in a position where—he _had_ to rely on him, made Leon feel warm down into his chest, enough to make him smile. It was horrible, because Hop was sick, weakly, but—Leon bit his lip as he pulled a carton of ice cream out of the freezer.

As fucked up as it was, Leon liked it. He liked the idea of Hop needing him like this. His brother could bitch and moan all he wanted, he could lie about the way Leon made him feel, he could be embarrassed about their relationship and shove him away all he wanted, but when it boiled down to it, Hop _needed_ him. Hop had nowhere to go, nobody to turn to, nobody willing to take him in, but—

He had Leon.

Seeing Hop sick made him sad and while Leon wished he could take the pain away from him, having his brother forced into a circumstance where he got to take care of him, where Hop was forced to need him, it only made Leon wish for the days when Hop would inevitably give in. Maybe he would get over this embarrassment he had about them, because although Leon understood, he really did understand Hop was shy because they were brothers and most people would say they were disgusting, it didn’t stop Leon from feeling the way he did. As far as he was concerned, he didn’t give a flying fuck what people thought about him, but he hated to think of Hop in a position where others would look down upon him.

After all, Leon was the former champion. If he were to get into a scandal of any kind, it didn’t matter if it was with drugs, relationships, theft—Leon knew there were people out there who would still take up for him. He had connections, money, people in positions of power unlike him who would support him.

Hop had nobody. Everything that he had right now, was given to him by Leon. His room, his clothes, the roof over his head, all of it had been provided to him by his older brother, but if Hop were to get called out for a scandal, Leon knew it would ruin him. Nobody cared if the ex champion’s little brother were to be treated like the dirt they walked on.

That’s why, even if Leon didn’t care, he couldn’t do anything like that to Hop. Their relationship had to remain private, for Hop’s sake.

After scooping a generous amount of chocolate ice cream into a bowl, Leon crossed the hall back to Hop’s room to see him playing on his phone. He could hear an array of sounds coming from the tiny speakers, and as he drew closer, could just about make out what looked like one of those weird internet challenge videos. Strange—well, maybe strange to Leon, as he didn’t understand the appeal of videos like that, sticking mostly to watching the telly and seeing what the weather was going to be like, but he often forgot—

Hop was still fourteen.

Sweat beaded the back of his neck. Hop was still a kid. Maybe not a _child_ , but definitely a kid. And Leon had done some very adult things with him, things he knew Hop wasn’t ready for, but just the fact it was with him and Leon was the one doing it gave him a bit more peace of mind. It would be different if someone else did that with him. If Hop were doing it with Gloria (and even still, Leon cringed at the thought of her), he couldn’t imagine his brother being comfortable getting intimate with somebody at this age. Not like Leon was all that innocent when he was a teenager. In fact, he was surprised Hop wasn’t as depraved as he’d been, as he didn’t keep a stack of magazines on his top shelf where nobody could reach them for nothing.

Ugh, Leon frowned to himself as he handed his brother the ice cream. He really could be gross, even to himself, to have thoughts like these. But, as gross as it was sometimes, Leon could keep telling himself it was better to get Hop used to things like this now rather than drop it on him later down the road.

A horrible feeling of nausea rolled into his stomach when Leon had the passing thought of wishing he had done this with Hop when he was younger. Shit, no, that was wrong. That was wrong, wrong, _wrong_. It was bad enough feeling guilty he had sex with his _fourteen year old_ brother, but thinking of doing that—Leon had to leave the room, as though Hop could read his mind and would no doubt think he was disgusting for thinking that. What the fuck was wrong with him?

Sure, Hop was young now, but Leon told himself it was okay. It was okay, because Hop would get older, he was old enough to know what sex was at least, and how it worked, at least Leon thought he’d know how it worked between two men. It wasn’t like he’d fucked him before puberty when he didn’t know where babies came from—Leon had to go sit down and turn the telly on.

Thoughts like that were making him feel ill, and he turned the station to some random comedy show he knew nothing about, but tried to bite down thoughts like that. Messing around with Hop when he was still little—the fucking _audacity_ of him. It made him feel like a creepy predator to think of that, but he _hadn’t_. Hop wasn’t a baby, he wasn’t a child.

Leon sucked in a breath before letting it out.

He was a teenager. Leon fucked his teenaged— _definitely not a child_ —brother. If anyone else had done so, it would be predatory, it would be perverted, but since _Leon_ had done it, since he had been intimate with him, it felt like he had more of a leg to stand on than if someone else (someone he did not want to mention right now) were to do it. Because, Leon had grown up with him, he knew Hop better than anyone. Yes, he spent a lot of his time away from home, but Leon had the honor of being his brother, and he knew that touching him the way he did, kissing him, seeing him naked—it was something only Leon got the privilege of doing.

And he intended to keep it that way.

* * *

The telly droned on in front of him, the noise becoming distorted and foggy in the back of his mind when Leon was roused from sleep. He had no idea when he dozed off on the couch, but his head was craned back against the cushion, and he groaned when his stiff muscles ached at the position he’d had himself in.

It was dark, the sun having set a long time ago, the clock telling him it was almost midnight, and he could hear Hop vomiting in the room behind him. His choked, gargled sounds were what snapped Leon awake, and he pulled himself up from the couch, ignoring his popping joints and whatnot as he skidded around the corner across the threshold to see Hop doubled over next to the bed, propped up to his trash bin as he heaved and gagged.

“Hop?” Leon was beside him in seconds, crouched down on the floor with him as his brother continued dry heaving and throwing up chunks of ice cream into the trash. He rubbed soothing circles onto his back as he continued retching.

“L-Lee…” Lifting his face, even in the darkness, Leon could see Hop’s lidded expression, that tired, exhausted expression he’d had all day, and he felt his heart sink at the sight of how sick his poor brother was.

“I’m here, Hop.”

“G-get…go get Mum…” He threw his head back in the bin just as he got sick again, this time vomiting bile.

Leon’s stomach sank, both at the sight of Hop retching and at his request. His poor brother was so delirious from his fever that he didn’t even know what he was saying anymore. But, Leon placed his hand on his shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze as Hop finally quieted somewhat before he sat there breathing in large gulps of air.

“I can’t, Hop.”

And Hop turned to him, eyes lidded, dulled with dark circles under them as though he hadn’t slept in days, even though he had been sleeping almost all day. His lip quivered, like he couldn’t believe what Leon was saying to him. “M-Mum…?”

“She’s not here.” It broke his heart to say things like this to him, but Hop was probably out of his mind right now, even as Leon reached up to touch his forehead, it burned under his palm, and he swore through his teeth at how his fever wasn’t getting better _right this second_. Why couldn’t Leon take this suffering for him? Hop didn’t deserve to go through this.

“Help…” Hop’s voice cracked, so raspy from his illness and so raw that it pained Leon to even hear him speak, knowing it must have caused him agony to force himself to talk like this. “Lee…please, help me.”

“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” He wrapped his arm around his brother, pulling him close, but not too far away from the waste bin if he needed to get sick again. Hop was sweating, so hot in his arms, that Leon grew more worried about his fever. Maybe this was the worst of it, and by tomorrow morning it would go down some, but for now, he pulled Hop into his lap, shushing him as he shivered, as he could feel every tiny movement that his brother made, and he rocked him back and forth.

While he rocked him, Hop reached up and clutched onto the collar of his shirt, squeezing him in a weak grip that waned with every shiver he made. “Lee…I wanna—I wanna go home.”

Reaching up to cup the back of Hop’s head, Leon pushed him as gently as he could against his chest, still rocking him as he did so. “You _are_ home, Hop.”

A quieted dry sob came from Hop then, but he didn’t cry. “I want Mum. Please, Lee. I want to be with Mum.”

Leon tightened his grip around him, not hard enough to hurt him, but enough to keep him close, enough he could feel how hot his skin was, how badly Hop was sweating and shivering, no doubt freezing as well, but Leon only shushed him as his brother quietly sobbed in his arms.

He kissed the top of his head, nuzzling his cheek against him and cradling Hop in his arms while he shivered. “I’m sorry, Hop. Mum isn’t here.”

“Lee…” He shivered. _Hard_. A shiver so violent, Leon felt it when his whole body jolted, but he didn’t let go of him, he let Hop ride out his tremors as long as he needed to, and he would stay here as long as he needed to, as long as Hop needed his company and his comfort, Leon would stay up with him all night if he had to. “Please, Lee. T-take me back home.”

Hop was just delirious. It was just the fever talking. These weren’t Hop’s actual thoughts.

Leon only let out a sigh as he kissed the top of his head one more time. “Hop, I told you. You _are_ home.”

“No.” As his sobs quieted down, Hop’s shivering becoming less and less violent, he grew calmer the longer Leon held onto him, but his voice was rough, and each time he spoke, every vibration in his throat had to be painful. Leon could hear it. “This isn’t home.”

That pang in his stomach came back, like someone had punched Leon in the gut, and it made his chest hurt to hear his brother say things like this, but, even though it hurt, he couldn’t be mad at his brother. Not when he could feel the heat pouring from his face, flushed from his fever, heard the way his voice sounded scratched raw. This was the sickness talking, not Hop.

Leon sucked in a quick breath through his nose before nuzzling the top of Hop’s hair again, that scent, the scent of his brother enveloping him and making him weak. Hop loved him. He knew he did.

He didn’t respond to him, but cradled him in his arms as they sat on the floor for what felt like hours. Through Hop’s fevered delirium, he mumbled things, things Leon didn’t take to heart, as they were nonsensical things by this point. He held him close, shushing him, running his fingers through his hair and kissing the side of his face when he could, wishing through contact like that alone that he could suffer in Hop’s place.

Leon wasn’t sure how much time passed they spent on the floor, but eventually, Hop quieted in his arms, his hand still clutched in a weak grip on his collar, but he heard the small rhythmical sounds of his breath against his neck, and Leon stood, pulling Hop up with him. As gently as he could to avoid waking him, he placed Hop back under the covers, tucking him in and pulling the stuffed Wooloo close in case he wanted something to cling to during the night.

As he stood, Leon swallowed, his forehead prickled with sweat. Hop’s bed wasn’t as large as his, but it was still big enough for two people to fit into, though if Leon were to climb in next to him, he would have to squeeze his larger frame a bit in order to fit. It might make Hop uncomfortable, but with the way he could see him shivering, hear his teeth chattering in his sleep as though freezing to death, Leon put his doubt in the back of his mind before pulling the covers up once more, and carefully placed himself next to Hop.

It took a few awkward maneuvers, as Leon wanted to be as delicate with him as possible and not disturb him, but he finally pulled Hop onto his side in a way that his back was against his chest, Leon curled up behind to spoon him. With Hop shivering next to him, breathing heavy, but fast asleep, Leon wrapped an arm around him and held him close, hoping through the contact that Hop could share his body heat.

Leon didn’t care if he contracted Hop’s sickness, because right now, all he wanted was for his brother to be as comfortable as possible. And if that meant sleeping next to him while he was out of his mind with a fever, then so be it.

He pulled close, just enough that he could push his face into the back of Hop’s hair, and Leon inhaled. Even during times like these, he couldn’t help but imagine a future where he got to do this everyday, where Hop would wake up in the mornings, naked, face flushed with blush as he turned to Leon, and smiled at him.

As Hop told him he loved him, he was happy, and it would make Leon _insane_ —it would make him _weak_ —he would do anything Hop wanted of him. He loved him so much, he would give anything for Hop to smile at him like that.

And he could smile now, because even though Hop said hurtful things, he was here. He was right here, in Leon’s arms, shivering, sick, vulnerable, but here. Hop was here, where Leon could pull him close, touch him, feel him, inhale that wonderful scent of shampoo off his hair, and he could sigh in content as he drifted off to sleep.

This was home. This was Leon’s home, and this was Hop’s home as well. And Hop _was right here_ , right in Leon’s arms, right where he _belonged_.

Leon could smile, even through the embarrassing thoughts, the sadness, the times he got angry, none of it mattered right now when he was with Hop. Because Hop was everything to him, Hop deserved the whole world and more, and Leon couldn’t imagine life without him anymore, didn’t want to imagine how lonely he would be without his brother, without his love.

Because Hop was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter might take some time to write as we’ve got something important coming up which miiiight take us to the end game of this fic bUT I AM NOT MAKING ANY PROMISES LOL 
> 
> This fic was only supposed to be like 15k wtf happened 
> 
> Anyway, as always, thank you guys so much for your support! It means the world to me and i always get so happy seeing people enjoy something i wrote ;-; thank you so much and i hope everyone has a lovely day!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read this at your own discretion. This chapter is. Not Nice. At all.

It was warm.

The moment Leon came to, groggy but comfortable, he was aware how warm he was, and it was enough to make him want to roll over and go back to sleep, but the memories from last night came back in slow, choppy waves. He was in bed with Hop, his brother sleeping quietly while his back was pressed against his chest, and from his position, Leon could feel the deep breaths he took as he inhaled through his mouth. It only gave him the incentive to pull him closer, and he could feel the heat radiating off him, no doubt from his fever.

At that thought, Leon perked up, remembering how delirious Hop had been that night, and he took a moment to be as quiet as he could before he leaned up, making sure he didn’t disturb Hop, and reached over to place his palm against his forehead. He was warm, but definitely not as hot as he’d been the night before. That was good, and Leon could let out a sigh of relief at the fact Hop was indeed getting better. With how he acted that night, Leon was worried he might only get worse, but hopefully he was passed that. It was a small relief, enough for Leon to scoot himself back under the covers to soak up more of Hop’s warmth.

The sun was barely peeking in through the windows, signifying it was still early in the morning, but Leon didn’t mind to stay here for awhile longer. With Hop next to him like this, his rhythmic breathing almost in perfect sync with Leon’s, it was enough initiative for him to close his eyes and go back to sleep. With that thought in mind, he pulled his brother closer to him, wrapping his arm around him, and scooted himself as far up against him as was physically possible.

Hop didn’t stir next to him, not that Leon suspected he would. Even after all this time, Hop remained ever the heavy sleeper, and even though Leon was being as gentle as he could, he doubted he might accidentally wake him. Still, he wanted to make sure Hop was comfortable, as sick as he was, he deserved some kind of comfort right now.

The things he’d said last night broke Leon’s heart to hear. And he knew it had only been a few days Hop had lived with him, but knowing his brother still had Postwick on his mind, their mum on his mind, it made Leon a little nervous when he thought about how Hop might try to sneak off on him during the middle of the night. His mind wandered in circles, trying to think of excuses for why he wouldn’t do that, because Hop had nowhere to go, nobody to turn to, but that didn’t stop Leon from worrying over him grabbing all his shit and leaving either.

Hop wasn’t a runner, but with all that had happened recently, Leon wouldn’t put it past him to run away from him. It was becoming more and more alluring to think of putting a lock on his door—just in case. Just for security purposes, but Leon also kicked himself for thinking of locking up his brother.

He wasn’t a prisoner for fuck’s sake, and he wasn’t a guest either. He was Leon’s roommate now, even though Hop didn’t pay any bills around here, he wasn’t old enough to contribute to something like that. And Leon didn’t need the money anyway. He didn’t mind caring for Hop, taking care of his finances and the like right now.

But.

Leon pulled him closer, stopping for a moment when he did so, and felt Hop’s bottom prop right up against his crotch where he could feel him through his pajamas. Only thin fabric was separating them, but Leon could feel the curvature of his butt, and couldn’t help to grind up against him a bit as he did so, just wanting to feel him— _just a little_. He wouldn’t get carried away. He wouldn’t freak out and put a lock on his door right this second. He wouldn’t—

He couldn’t help it when he thrusted up against him again, wishing their clothes weren’t in the way, but he wasn’t able to contain himself. For Hop to be so vulnerable like this, right next to him, breathing heavy from sleep, and so warm— _so, so warm_ , Leon was losing himself. He didn’t want to go at him and hurt him while he was sick, but— _fuck_ , he couldn’t stop himself.

With his nose pressed into the back of Hop’s hair, inhaling the scent of his shampoo, Leon took the arm he had wrapped around Hop and slowly, as slow as he could possibly be, confident he wouldn’t wake him by doing this, Leon reached under the covers, pulled back the elastic waistband of his pajamas, and gripped hold of his cock. He breathed in the scent of Hop, his body heat radiating off of him, mostly from his feverish state, and he stroked himself, trying to be subtle, trying not to move so much, but damn was it hard not to.

Hop was too much for him to handle. Being this close to him, being so enveloped in his warmth like this while he slept, unaware Leon was touching himself—it was too much. As quietly as he could, making sure he controlled his breathing and the way he wanted so bad to thrust against his own hand, Leon pumped himself quietly, not shying away to brush against the back of Hop’s bottom when he could, when he was sure it wouldn’t wake him.

“H…Hop…” His voice was barely a whisper, barely audible to no one but Leon himself, but his brother was driving him crazy. Restraint be damned, Leon couldn’t hold back anymore, and he knew if he didn’t at least indulge a little, he might not be able to hold himself back when Hop awakened. It was agony trying to hold off on pushing his little brother down on the ground and fucking him raw, wanting to be covered in his heat, wanting to hear the way his screams clawed out of his sore throat as he fucked him with no inhibitions—

Leon had to swallow down a moan when he grew hard, the contact of Hop’s bottom enough to make him almost lose it. What the fuck was wrong with him? How could he be getting off to fantasies of Hop crying under him like that? It wasn’t real. Leon told himself that over and over. Fantasies like that weren’t what he really wanted. No. What he really wanted was—

Was for Hop to touch him, for Hop to climb in his lap, grab his face, pull the back of his hair with so much force that Leon cried out in pain, and silence him by kissing him so hard on the mouth, that he broke the skin around his lips. Blood would dribble down, and Hop would give him a flirtatious grin, reprimanding him for _daring_ to think pulling his hair was that bad, and Leon would love it. If Hop were that direct with him, he knew he would go insane. All he ever wanted was for Hop to love him back, hold him, touch him, kiss him, tell him that Leon was his, and he was Leon’s.

His erection was aching, even as Leon stroked himself, biting his bottom lip and trying his damndest not to make a sound. It was hard not to, especially when he pressed the tip right up between Hop’s bottom, even with the fabric in the way, he could already feel his own precum seeping out, and Leon was losing himself.

To masturbate to Hop while he was asleep, unaware of what Leon was doing while he inhaled the scent off his hair, enveloped by Hop’s body heat, trying so, so hard not to do what he really wanted, which was hold down Hop, tear his clothes off, and fuck him into the mattress. Even if he was cruel to him, Leon knew he would love it. As much as he wanted Hop to come to him, climb in his lap, order him around, _because Leon would do anything Hop asked of him_ , even if he ordered him to get on his hands and knees and suck him off day and night, Leon knew he would love it.

But.

He also knew his brother loved him as well. Why else would he get off to only having Leon be inside of him? There was no way he didn’t love what Leon did to him, because he didn’t even have to _touch him_. That made him so happy, _so, **so**_ happy that he couldn’t even contain himself. It was something Leon knew had fucked with his ego, because knowing all he had to do was fuck Hop into the mattress like that in order to get him off, knowing how sensitive his brother was to touch, it made him so happy. Way too happy. Leon barely had to touch him at all and Hop would melt under him.

That’s how much he loved it. That’s how much he loved Leon. Hop was just too shy to admit it.

Biting the blood from his lip to quiet the moans he so desperately wished he could let out, Leon thrust the tip of his erection against Hop’s bottom a final time before his orgasm took hold of him and he came all into his own hand. He spasmed, back arching in time, and he hadn’t meant to get so carried away, jerking with movement as he rode it out for all he had. But, Hop smelled so good, felt so good against him, even the heat from his fever pouring from his body drove Leon crazy, and he finally came down from his high, relaxing against the sheets and breathing for a moment.

How wonderful it was going to feel when he got to fuck him again. If it was anything like the other night, Leon knew it would be worth the wait. He couldn’t wait for Hop to start getting better so that he could kiss him, hold him, touch him all over like he wanted to. Having him next to him like this was enough, but Leon was desperate for his contact _right now_. He wanted Hop to hold him back, kiss him, touch him if he wanted.

It was then that Leon noticed Hop wasn’t breathing as heavy as he was a moment ago, and he perked up. Fuck, oh _fuck_ , did he wake him up by doing that? He hadn’t been loud by any means, but near the end, he knew he had moved a bit too much, but as he leaned up, being mindful of the mess on his hands and trying not to get it on Hop’s blankets, he peered over to see his brother’s face still slacked from sleep. Leon breathed a sigh of relief to himself before crawling out of the bed as carefully as he could. As desperate as he’d been, he didn’t want Hop freaking out on him, which he had no doubt he would if he were to wake up and see Leon’s hands covered in cum. It wasn’t like Leon touched _him_ in his sleep, but he knew Hop would probably give him lip about it.

Honestly, the sooner his brother realized Leon loved him and was only interested in his well-being, the faster they could get past this awkwardness and begin to break down the wall that had come between them. Hop hadn’t been acting like himself in weeks, and Leon knew it was from how strong he had come on, the shock of Mum kicking them out, everything Hop had been through lately were things nobody should have to put up with, and Leon wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, he really did.

_‘It wouldn’t be the same and you know that.’_

Leon’s own words echoed in the back of his mind and he sighed at them. Of course it wasn’t the same. He knew the moment he climbed on top of Hop that fateful night, the night he woke him up because he just wanted Hop to look up at him with _adoration—love—lust_ —Leon knew it wouldn’t be the same. Maybe even deep down, Leon knew he would never reciprocate.

But.

Washing his hands free of his mess in the bathroom, Leon couldn’t help to let out a tired sigh. But, he wished Hop would stop fighting him like this and give in, realize Leon loved him, and that he loved Leon like this too. The sooner Hop realized everything was okay and he didn’t have to be embarrassed, the sooner they could move forward. Whatever moving forward really entailed, but Leon wanted to think it meant Hop would be happy to live here with him, love him back, and they could give into their lust and desire together.

That would make him very happy. And it would come someday. Leon knew it would. Hop would see, he would see Leon had been right all along, and he would stop being so shy about it, come to Leon, crawl in his lap the same way he did in his fantasies, and everything would be alright then.

Just as he emerged from the bathroom, Leon’s gaze locked onto Hop’s door handle he had pulled shut earlier, and he froze.

He could just…

Do it right now?

He could, he could fucking install a lock on his door right this second, a lock from the outside that only Leon could control, and Hop would be none the wiser. In his delirious state, now would be as good a time as any to reverse his lock, maybe install a stronger one, screw on a bolt that only Leon had access to. It would be a preventative measure if anything, just something _in case_ Hop decided to run away.

Leon swallowed, his throat feeling tight.

No. He couldn’t do that to his brother. It was a blatant violation of his trust, but—as he reasoned with himself—it wasn’t like Hop had given him a reason to trust him in the first place. Sure, he hadn’t made any moves to run away yet, not even after Leon fucked him the other night, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t planning anything. But still.

He turned away, making his way to the kitchen to fix himself some coffee.

This was insane. He couldn’t stoop so low as to lock Hop up in his room like that. Even if it was just for when he slept, maybe Leon only had to worry about locking him up while he was asleep—he couldn’t do that to him.

His hands shook as he prepared his coffee.

That’s right. Hop wasn’t a prisoner here. He was…Leon’s lover. Hop was Leon’s lover and no matter how much he didn’t trust him, no matter how worried he got that Hop might try to leave him, Leon couldn’t lock up his lover like that.

No matter how tantalizing it was.

* * *

The next week passed by in a blur it felt like. Leon wasn’t sure if Hop ever realized he had slept next to him that night, but he wasn’t exactly going to tear up at the fact he had touched himself to his brother while he was sick. Not like Leon had never done that before, but he had hoped days like that were behind him. After all, Hop was living here in the apartment with him for fuck’s sake, it wasn’t like he had to worry about sneaking around with him anymore.

Even though, as much as Leon tried to reason with himself, he hated thinking how adorable Hop was while he slept, how hard it was to hold back when he was sick like this. Having Hop in as helpless a position as this shouldn’t have given Leon joy—if joy were even the right word—but he found himself loving it. He loved checking up on him, taking his temperature, laying out fresh clothes for him, bringing him food on a tray. Things like that weren’t even inherently sexual or even dirty, but Leon found some strange solace in doing domestic things like that for his brother.

It was almost like they were a real couple. Leon couldn’t help to blush at the thought of it. Here he was, treating his brother like he was incapable of doing things like this for himself, but Leon was living for it, waiting on him beck and call. It shouldn’t have made him as happy as it did, and he only wished Hop would smile up at him every time he entered his room, brought him food, cleaned his laundry and the like.

A real smile from Hop, a genuine, heartfelt smile. That was something Leon hadn’t gotten from him in such a long time, and he missed it. Having his brother here made him very happy, and he found more than enough reasons to smile simply having him near him all the time, but Leon couldn’t help but yearn for the old times too.

His heart sank, along with his body as he pressed himself into the sofa. The memories of their time before all this shit went down—Leon could say honestly it was sad to think he had damaged his relationship beyond repair with Hop, but that wasn’t necessarily a _bad_ thing. At least, Leon didn’t want to think it was a bad thing. What he had done, everything he had done in order to prove to Hop that he loved him, _he loved him so much_ —it tore him apart inside when he thought back to how he could have kept these creeping thoughts to himself. He could have chosen to never walk toward Hop’s bedroom that night.

He could have…

Leon swallowed, an uncomfortable feeling welling down into his stomach as he broke out into a cold sweat.

He could have stopped all this. He could have kept the purely familial relationship with Hop, he could have kept his feelings bottled up, maybe admired Hop from afar, but he could have saved those days he spent with his brother, enjoying his company, enjoying his smile, just a little bit longer.

His chest felt tight. Leon squandered it. He had squandered everything, taking those days for granted like that, taking Hop’s smile, his admiration, his joy, his happiness—Leon had taken it all for granted. He never wanted things to stoop to this level, with them being banished from the house, Hop forcibly cutting ties with their mum. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

Leon sighed. So, how was it _supposed_ to happen then? Well, Hop was supposed to return his affections, realize his admiration for him was actually a crush this entire time, then he and Leon would indulge in their newfound love for one another. Leon had to scoff at himself. Yeah right. Like Hop, his happy go lucky, but rather shy Hop ever admit he had crushed on Leon this entire time.

Still. It made him sad when he thought of things like that, harkening back to times where nothing was so damn strained all the time, and not just their relationship. Leon could tell there was a stark shift in Hop’s personality ever since moving up here with him. He could see it in the way his brother cringed each time he brought him food, every time he froze up like Leon was about to devour him when he so much as placed his palm against his forehead to check his fever (which was much better, to Leon’s relief).

All he wanted was for Hop to realize that—he was still the same Leon. This was still the same person who Hop looked up to all those years, cherished and smiled at like he was his entire world, got excited for when he visited on weekends, those rare weekends, the same brother who brought him presents, and joked around when they had barbecues in the back with Mum. Leon was still his older brother, still his Leon.

It was only his need to prove to Hop that he was loved too, especially after seeing the way he was treated by those around him. Leon only wanted to prove to him there were people out there, _especially Leon_ , who loved him. But, Leon loved him most of all. And part of it was due to the fact he had become sexually lustful toward him, he was aware he wasn’t innocent in that regard _at all_. How could he not be? When Hop was so adorable, so cute, so fucking sexy sometimes without meaning to—it drove Leon crazy. He knew he was crazy for him, but all he wanted to do was show Hop how much he loved him. The fact he would want to do things like that with his brother, it was proof that Leon loved him that much to do something like that with his own brother.

Time ticked by, Leon having mostly spent his time in the sitting room, watching the telly, making sure he was up to date on the weather, and texting Raihan now and then. He’d get occasional texts about Hop, asking how he was doing, and now that Raihan wasn’t right here in his face, drunk as fuck and trying to talk Leon into a threesome, he was much more composed talking to him about his brother. He hadn’t mentioned anything since the night they got drunk, which gave Leon a good indication that Raihan knew he had fucked up by asking that, and was keeping his distance.

That was a good thing, at least. His friend had been shown that Hop was _his_ , he was off limits, and he got the fucking message it seemed. That was at least a small relief on Leon’s end.

Leon kept things that week between Hop purely platonic. It was partially due to the fact he touched himself, and had been keeping himself at bay by touching himself at night when he was sure Hop wouldn’t notice, but his brother had no idea how hard it had been that entire week to hold off on him while he was sick. Leon never took himself as one of those people who got off on sickness like this, but that wasn’t saying much. There were a lot of things Leon never imagined he’d get off to, mainly his brother himself.

A little nagging voice in the back of his head still hovered around, calling him a pervert for doing this to his little brother, but an even louder voice was shutting it out, saying how this was Hop, and he loved him. The fact he was his brother only gave Leon even more of an incentive to take care of him, love him, touch him.

Their relationship felt even _more_ intimate because they were brothers, and it made Leon smile at it. Never had he ever felt things like this with Raihan, or those one night stands, all the propositions for sex he’d ever gotten paled when it came to Hop. Fuck, Hop didn’t even have to _try_ , and Leon was going crazy for him.

It should have freaked him out, knowing Hop had this much influence over his actions, but Leon loved it. Adored it. Cherished it.

It was time for Hop’s medicine.

Leon had taken the entire week off to care for his brother, not that he needed a valid excuse not to go to work these days, but it was an excuse he was willing to take advantage of, because it meant more time at home with Hop. Standing from the sofa, he made his way into the kitchen, fixing up a bowl of soup, some juice, and adding little healthy snacks to the side just in case Hop was hungry. He’d been trying to feed him healthy foods while letting him indulge with sweets in awhile.

To his surprise, Hop’s appetite was coming back more and more. Leon had gotten so used to him refusing to eat around him to see him eat like he had been, it made Leon relieved to see his brother wasn’t intentionally starving himself. Maybe he would start gaining weight at this rate. Even though he’d thrown up a few times while sick, Leon had managed to get him to eat ice cream again and even full course meals a few times.

He’d been trying to leave him in peace the entire week, Leon had really tried, only visiting him to gather his laundry, clean his room, and ask him if he needed anything, which Hop always declined. But, going a whole week without getting to hold him or kiss him was starting to grate at him, and Leon could feel how desperate he was getting, even as he entered the room, holding onto a tray of food, offering his brother a smile as he spied Hop propped up in bed, watching something on his phone.

“Good morning.” Always Leon greeted him with a smile, even though Hop never returned one to him, he didn’t mind all that much. “How are you feeling?” Without waiting for his response, as it was always a one worded ‘ _fine’_ , Leon set the tray down in Hop’s lap, reaching up to press his palm against his forehead, noting how Hop always— _always_ —cringed when he did so, but he ignored it. “You don’t feel warm.” That was a good sign at least.

Looking around, Leon noticed some discarded clothes on the floor before he dipped down to pick them up.

“Got anymore laundry? I’ll go ahead and do a load.”

Hop didn’t respond at first, as Leon could see him picking at his food, having not touched his medicine yet, but he shook his head no.

“Alright, let me know if there’s anything you need.”

“You don’t—” Leon stopped, having turned to exit the room, but Hop’s voice made him pause and spin back around to face him. His brother was looking down at his bowl of soup, sloshing it around with his spoon, but haven’t not actually eaten anything yet. “You don’t have to do that.” His voice was strained, no longer raspy from sickness, and Hop was sounding like his old self again.

His old self, unfortunately, meaning Leon could hear the biting tone in the way he spoke to him, and he resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Hop hadn’t been giving him as much lip lately like he used to, but there were still times throughout the week, times like these, he would say something snarky, or give Leon a sarcastic reply to something, and it was easy to let it roll off his shoulders and say it was only because Hop was ill.

But, the more the week droned on, the worse he was getting, and the last thing Leon wanted to do was get angry at his brother for mouthing off to him, but he wished he would cut it out sometimes. This wasn’t even a sibling quarrel type of argument, but just the way he spoke to him—it rubbed Leon the wrong way. They had their fair share of fights and disagreements, even as children, even during those times Hop thought the world of him, but it was different now.

There was an underlying cynicism to Hop’s voice, as though he were going out of his way to say things like that simply _to_ piss off Leon, and he didn’t know how to respond to it at all other than fight to bite down his temper. Leon never had problems with getting annoyed with Hop like this, but he didn’t know why, why every time he insisted on being difficult or saying hurtful things, that it never failed Leon’s mood soured.

Trying his hardest not to dwell, Leon instead let out a loud, drawn out sigh. “I want to, though. You’re sick right now. You should be focusing on getting better, right?”

Hop shrugged, finally taking a mouthful of his soup, but still refused to look at Leon. Now that he thought of it, he couldn’t remember a time all week Hop had ever looked up at him when he came into his room.

“Whatever. If playing housewife is what gets you going, go off.”

Without responding, Leon whipped around the threshold, rounding the corner and heading to the laundry room. Fucking—things like _that_ made his face flush with heat, and he had to bite down the urge to engage with Hop until an argument broke out. He’d been dealing with his attitude all damn week, and it was high time Hop learned to quit saying that shit to him. It wasn’t even hurtful, it was just—

Leon threw his clothes in the wash.

Just the sarcastic _way_ he said it with the intention to piss him off. If Hop wanted to piss him off so bad, maybe Leon should just oblige him already and give him what he wanted, but he couldn’t do that. It was hard, even as he gripped the edge of washer, mixing some of his and Hop’s things together for a load, it was hard to hold back on spitting back at him when he said things like that to him.

All Leon wanted to do was show his brother how much he loved him and cared about him. And he had the audacity to spit back at him like this? Even after they’d fucked twice, Leon had already seen more than enough of him to know about every little intimate detail of him, what his fucking cock looked like when it curved, how loud he could get when he moaned for him—and fuck, _did Hop moan for him_. Everything, all these things, all things that were proof of Leon’s love, how Hop didn’t need to be embarrassed around him, because there was nothing left for him to hide from Leon. And still, he acted like this.

Leon sighed, exiting the laundry room once their things were taken care of, and sat himself down on the sofa to watch the telly. It was better to leave Hop to himself when he got like this, as bad as Leon wanted to cuddle him since he’d been holding back all week, he had a hard time getting into the mood with Hop saying things like that to him.

Ugh, it did absolutely no wonders for his mood to gripe about things like this, but he couldn’t help it. As Leon sat there, stewing in his sour mood which was only worsening the more time passed, his phone buzzed on the cushion beside him and he lifted it up, not surprised to see a text from Raihan.

_‘sup champ wanna hang?’_

He pulled up the keyboard before letting out a little sigh. _‘Maybe later. Still taking care of Hop.’_

_‘aww poor kid he still sick?’_

_‘Yeah. I mean he’s better but not 100%’_

_‘sucks. mind if i come over for a sec? i won’t stay long.’_

Leon bit his lip, wondering if there was any ulterior motive behind this or not. Well, Raihan was no stranger to randomly visiting him out of the blue just to say hi and then piss off afterward, but if he was being honest, he really didn’t want his company right now. It wasn’t even really for what happened last weekend, but just the mood Hop had put him in.

But, he bit his bottom lip, tried to quell his irritation, and typed back, ‘ _Yeah it’s fine.’_

_‘yay!! c u in a bit champ ;-)’_

Letting out another sigh, as that appeared to be the only thing Leon ever did these days, he placed his phone back on the cushion before standing from the couch and popped his back as he did so. It had been too long since he stretched or did any exercise, what with getting Hop up here and everything, he hadn’t worked out in awhile, and he was feeling it in his body. But, that could be put on the back-burner for now.

As he bit his bottom lip, he pushed down all the annoyances and tried not to appear still worked up as he rounded the corner to Hop’s room once again. At least he was pleasantly surprised to see Hop had eaten all his food. It seemed he only wanted to eat when Leon wasn’t watching him, maybe some weird teenager rebellion thing, but Leon didn’t think too hard about it. Hop was eating, and that was enough for him.

Taking hold of his tray, Leon minded the bowl and glass as he balanced it in his hands, noticing how Hop was glued to his phone once again. Almost every time Leon had come into his room, his brother was watching videos on his phone, and he had to wonder what on earth could be so interesting, but it was probably battle videos, and Leon couldn’t help to wish Hop was watching some of his tournament videos, but by the sounds coming off it, they were random things that didn’t sound like Pokemon battles at least.

“Is there anything I can get you?” Maybe something to help with that attitude of his, but Leon of course, didn’t say that.

Hop shook his head, never once looking at him.

“Oh.” He paused before making to turn around and leave, but faced his brother. “Raihan’s coming over.”

The change in his demeanor was instant. One moment, Hop was absorbed in whatever was happening on his phone, ignoring Leon for the most part, but the moment he uttered those words, his brother’s face sparked with life, and he rose his head up, way too quickly.

That…rubbed Leon the wrong way. He didn’t like that reaction at all, as there was an expression on Hop’s face that he couldn’t place, but still—why did Raihan, just the mention of Raihan, get a rise out of his brother like this? Why couldn’t Leon get this much life from him?

All it did was spur on his jealousy, and his already sour mood dipped deeper. Leon couldn’t help himself. “What’s with that look on your face?”

“What look? Am I not allowed to look at you anymore?” And that _fucking_ snarky tone was back, dammit.

His grip on the tray tightened until the color drained from his knuckles. “No, it’s just that you only seem to give two shits when Raihan is involved.”

Hop tensed, he could tell even from where he stood that he’d said something that hit a nerve, but whatever it was, Hop wasn’t showing it in his face. He darted his eyes for a moment before settling back down to his phone. “No, I don’t. He’s _your_ friend, why would I care about him?”

“Bullshit, Hop, I saw the way you were looking at him last weekend.” And the tray was placed down onto his nightstand, rousing Hop away from his video at the sound of Leon pushing it down, not quite slamming, but enough to rock his lamp in place. “You were smiling at him like you were two were already friends. So? Something I should know about? I didn’t want to bring it up while you were sick, but you seem just fine and dandy now, Hop. So, tell me the truth. Do you like him?”

He knew he was spewing a lot on him at once, but Leon didn’t care. Only the sight of Hop’s growing surprised face, something that was a welcome change from this apathy, was enough drive for him to keep pushing. And he didn’t care how angry Hop got at him. He was sick of his attitude, he was sick of Hop always biting him like this when all Leon had ever done was try to love him.

“I don’t—!”

“Bullshit.” He wouldn’t even give him a chance to speak, because whatever Hop would tell him would be a lie. “You seem to forget I was standing in the kitchen with the both of you too. You _smiled_ at him, Hop. And he noticed it too.”

“You’re fucking crazy, Lee.” Hop was glaring up at him, having dropped his phone down until the screen went black in his hands, and he frowned up at him. “I can smile at whoever I want.”

“I’m not saying you _can’t_ , but when it’s to an older man like that, you’re going to give him the wrong idea.”

“I _don’t like_ him! What the fuck is wrong with you?! You think just because I smile at someone it’s some kind of invitation?” Then, Hop leaned from bed, like he was about to stand, but stopped himself before giving Leon a lidded glare. “Oh I forgot. You think everything is an invitation, because you’re insane. It doesn’t matter to you.”

“Quit saying I’m insane! I’m not crazy, Hop!” Leon was heated, trying his damndest to bite down the anger, but there was no stopping it now. Hop started this. Hop had been trying his patience all week and it was finally spilling over where Leon couldn’t contain it anymore. “I didn’t see you complaining when I fucked you last week!”

The look on his brother’s face changed from a glare, to mortified, and Leon would have been lying if he said seeing that look didn’t feel gratifying. He hadn’t wanted to bring up last week like this, he hadn’t wanted to get into an argument, all before Raihan got there—but Hop drew first blood. Hop drove him to this.

“Yeah, Hop. You wanna bitch and moan all the time, but you didn’t say a damn word when I fucked you into the mattress. Hell, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were enjoying yourself.” Not able to hold back the smirk on his face he tugged at the hem of his shirt, pulling it just above his navel. “You wanna see the scratches? They’re still there, Hop. You did that. You scratched my back, quite vicariously I might add, because you enjoyed it so much.”

“I didn’t.” His voice was quiet, low, but not quite a whisper, as he stared up at Leon, his entire expression dropping until he could only see how wide his eyes were. “Lee, I didn’t!”

“Bullshit. Stop lying.”

“I _didn’t like that_!” Reaching up, Hop covered his mouth as a strangled sound emerged from the back of his throat and he choked on it, but Leon wasn’t stopping.

All he did was lean down until he was face level with his brother, release the bottom of his shirt until it fell back around his stomach, and he wanted so bad to grab hold of him, grab onto something, anything, and squeeze him, but he held back. He was too angry right now, and he knew if he put his hands on his brother, he might accidentally hurt him.

“You’re lying, Hop. You’ve been lying to me since day one. If you hated it so much, why did you come without me having to even touch you? Why did you lie there and let me do that to you? Why did you moan for me, let me kiss you, and hold me when you came?”

“I tried…” His gaze darted for a moment, and Leon could see the tears well in his eyes before Hop blinked them away, his hand still covering his mouth before slowly lowering it as he gripped hold of his blanket. “L-Lee…I tried.”

“What do you mean?” Still frowning, still leaned down into him, he tried not to let his distaste show when Hop insisted he say obscure things that required Leon to ask him what he meant. A little clarification would save a lot of heartache.

Hop blinked the tears away before he swallowed, not speaking at first, but he looked away from Leon to his bedroom door, then back at his brother. “I-I tried t-to like it. I really did! I promise, I tried.” He lowered is gaze along with his head as he stared down at his knuckles that were shaking while gripping his blanket. “But…I can’t. I can’t do this, Lee. I feel disgusting all the time, I hate it!”

He tried?

He. _Tried_?

Leon finally gave a large intake of breath before slowly breathing it out his nose. That was Hop’s attempt at trying? Really? He wanted to laugh, but there would have been absolutely no merit in it, only a joyless noise, but he continued staring at his brother with a furrowed brow. “I don’t believe you.”

Hop’s face shot up. “Lee.” His voice was climbing into that dangerous territory, where he sounded like he was getting close to hysterics. “I’m telling you this, right now, so please, listen to me. _Please_ , Lee.”

Leon said nothing, but waited patiently, even though Hop didn’t deserve his patience right now.

“Lee.” Hop inhaled before letting out a shaky breath, his knuckles still trembling. “I don’t like this. I never liked this. I tried to sit here and go along with you. I-I tried telling myself so many times if I do this, everything will be better. It might make you happy, but—” He swallowed, eyes trailing away from Leon, back down to his hands. “I can’t do this anymore. I just want to go back to the way things were.”

“I’ve told you a thousand times it’s not possible.” Leon’s expression softened, and for a moment, he thought he felt the remnants of guilt pool down, deep down into his gut, but he quickly willed it away.

“I know, but. Lee, why can’t you see how much I hate this? I don’t like being touched. I don’t like being kissed.”

“You’ll get used to it, though. If you let me, Hop, I can make sure you get used to it.”

Hop froze, not looking up, but Leon could tell even where he sat that his eyes were wide. “I don’t _want_ to get used to this. It’s fucked up.”

“It’s not fucked up of me to love you, Hop. I’m not going to apologize for that.”

Finally, Hop rose his head, eyes bearing into Leon’s when he spoke, his voice lower, but not completely devoid of hysteria. “You don’t even care how I feel about this? If you loved me, you’d care how I felt.”

“I _do_ care how you feel. Why do you think I’m doing this?”

“Because you’re a fucking _pervert_! Why can’t you get someone else to do this with?!”

“Hop.” Leon leaned in the rest of the way, and without giving Hop time to react, kissed him on the mouth, causing him to sputter and pull back, but Leon gripped him by the arm to keep him from falling back anymore than he was. He struggled for a moment in Leon’s hold, but he squeezed both of his arms then, pulling him back until there was nowhere left for Hop to go. He didn’t dare dig his fingers into him too hard, but he kept his grip harsh enough that Hop couldn’t pull away like he was trying so desperately to do, and Leon could hear the quickening of his breath, the hysteria in his voice when it grew high-pitched, and he jerked his head from side to side, as though avoiding having to kiss him again, but Leon didn’t let up.

Instead he moved in, kissing the edges of Hop’s throat and causing him to freeze for a moment when he scraped his teeth against him. As though Hop were afraid he might bite him if he moved then.

“Hop.” His voice was low, breathy, but he kissed him again, reveling in Hop’s scent, in his body as Leon pulled him close, close enough their chests were touching, and he could really feel how small his brother was—and _fuck_ , did he miss this. He missed him so much, even though Hop had been here the entire week, Leon held off on holding him, kissing him, because he didn’t want to push him while he was sick, but he couldn’t help it anymore. “You are _not_ something to be disposed of, Hop. I don’t _want_ to do this with anyone else. I don’t love anyone like I love you. That’s why I do this with you, because I love you. When people love each other, they want them to feel good. All I want is for you to feel good, and I will _not_ apologize for that. Ever.”

“Lee…” Hop’s voice had devolved to a whisper, but even through that, Leon could hear the fear there as he continued kissing his neck, wishing Hop would engage and kiss him back. “This isn’t right. It doesn’t matter what you say, how much you say you love me. I-I’m your—” Hop gasped when Leon let his tongue out to trace up the side of his neck, and he hadn’t realized how badly he missed the way he tasted. His skin was so soft, warm, and Leon couldn’t help but get carried away like this. How could he possibly hold back when Hop had been so sick all week?

“Hop, I’ve told you a thousand times that I don’t care what other people think.” Then, he pulled away, looking up at Hop with a smirk through lidded eyes. “After all, don’t you think the fact we’re brothers makes it more special? I know you better than anyone. I know how to treat you better than anyone, and I know how to appreciate you a hell of a lot more than your friends or Mum ever could.”

His brother cringed in his hold, but Leon didn’t waver.

“You used to look up to me like I was the sun itself. You don’t have all those magazines and autographed books and such in your room for nothing, do you?” Leon couldn’t hide the smile on his face from growing larger. “You mean to tell me you never, not once, _never_ touched yourself to me, Hop?”

The blood drained from Hop’s face completely, and Leon thought he might pass out in his arms. He wasn’t sure if that was a confession or if Hop was in so much denial, that he couldn’t think of what to say.

“Believe me, I don’t mind if you did. I’d be happy to hear you stayed up late thinking about me like that, because hell, I’ve done the same—”

“I _never_ did anything like that!”

The sound of Hop almost screaming at him made Leon jump, but he didn’t release his arms despite it, only frowned back down at him as Hop began to tremble in his hold. “You say that, but you always seem way too eager when I fuck you. You get off so fast, like you can’t wait for me to be inside of you, and I don’t even have to touch your cock, Hop, you come just from the feeling of me inside of you. If that’s not proof you’ve been playing with yourself long before I came along, I don’t—”

“Shut up!” Blush gushed to Hop’s face and he grew red all the way down to his neck. Honestly, it was adorable, and Leon couldn’t help to smile at it, but he would have continued teasing him like this, as it was more or less a way to get back at him for all the biting comments he’d had to put up with this week, but Leon enjoyed riling him up sometimes just to see his cute reactions.

If he deserved it.

“Keep denying it, Hop. It’s only going to come back to bite you ten times harder.” He finally released him, leaning away to stand up straight as his brother shivered and trembled below him, now huddled into his front where he folded his arms over himself as though trying to hide his decency from him. “I’ll be here when you come around. I’m not going anywhere, I’m not planning to fall in love with anyone else, anyway.” He had to let out a small laugh at the thought of imagining doing this with anyone other than Hop. The absurdity. “The sooner you start realizing things like this, the better.”

With that, with no more words to his brother, Leon turned on his heels and exited the room, shutting his door behind him.

* * *

The gentle knock that came from his front door was so shocking that Leon, having been seated on the couch, didn’t acknowledge it at first. Surely someone had accidentally bumped up against his door on the way by, but another gentle knock came soon after, although with a bit more gusto, and Leon stood from his seat, crossing the room, and unlocked his door to see Raihan’s smiling mug behind the threshold.

“Morning.”

“It’s not morning anymore.”

“Close enough.” Side stepping Leon, he strode through, stretching out his arms as he did so when Leon shut the door behind him.

“Not like you to knock quietly. I couldn’t tell if it was an accident or not.”

Raihan shrugged, turning to face Leon as he leaned up against the edge of the sofa. “Wasn’t sure if the kid was still sleeping. Didn’t want to disturb him.”

“He’s fine. I mean—he’s doing much better. His fever is gone.”

Raihan nodded. “That’s good.”

Now it was Leon’s turn to lean against the doorframe as he eyed his friend. “So, what’d you need? I’m sure you didn’t come by just to say hi?”

Another shrug. “Something like that. Wanted to make sure you were doing alright, but yeah.” Standing away from the couch, Raihan fished around in the front pocket of his hoodie before producing a wad of money. “Uh, I know it’s late, but I wanted to pay you back. Literally.”

Leon stared at the money in his friend’s hands like it might shock him if he touched it. “Not that I don’t appreciate it, but what for?”

Yet another shrug. “Always making you pay for food and stuff. I know we joke around about it, but it’s been kinda eating at me too. And also…” He trailed off then, looking away from Leon before biting his lower lip, a bit of a sheepish expression crossing his face. “Wanted to apologize for last weekend.”

Leon’s throat tightened, a cold sweat pricking at his back, and he narrowed his mouth before trying his hardest to appear unfazed by that. “Wh-what?” Okay, _that_ wasn’t being unfazed at all.

“Look, champ, I know we joke a lot and I know we fool around and stuff, but I don’t want you to think I’d try stealing your bro away or anything. Whatever is going on between the two of you, it’s none of my business. I know I said some stuff when I was hammered, but you know I get stupid when I’ve had one too many.” Raihan rolled his head back before letting out a loud sigh. “Point being, sorry for saying those things.”

“It’s…” _Fine_? That’s what Leon was supposed to say, but he was a little surprised to hear his friend unload these apologies onto him like this. In a way, he knew Raihan was just trying to be a decent friend and make it up to him, to which he appreciated, if not still a bit jealous, but it could be forgiven if Raihan of all people was willing to give him _money_. “Don’t worry about it. Keep your money. I know I give you a hard time, but I don’t mind buying you a meal every once in awhile.”

Letting out a sigh through his nose, Raihan pocketed the money before leaning back to pop his shoulders and back. “Your loss, champ. Guess I’m obligated to treat you next time.”

“I’ll hold you to it. And make sure I pick the most expensive meal on the menu.”

“You’re mean.”

Leon couldn’t help but burst out a small laugh at that. It was amazing how Raihan had the power to put him in a better mood like this, when usually Hop was the one doing that, but after their fight that morning, he had done nothing but stew in his bad mood all day, avoiding Hop to leave him in peace, and go about his own business.

It weighed on his mind to think how in denial Hop was about all this, but he wasn’t going to give up on him. They may have had their spats, and Leon hated getting into arguments with him, but it was inevitable for everything to always be one hundred percent happy and fine all the time. Still, there were times he wished Hop would try, just try a _little_ bit harder. From his end, all he got were sarcastic responses and denial, but Leon knew deep down maybe his brother was just ashamed of his true feelings. He wanted to think, at least he hoped to think, that Hop was just as in love with him as he was, but he was too embarrassed to admit it.

“Raihan?”

The sound of the small voice from up the hall made Leon start, and he was snapped from his thoughts, both he and Raihan whipping their heads up and around to see Hop standing in the hallway, peeking around the corner at them.

Leon opened his mouth to call to him, but Raihan beat him to it.

“Little Lee! How ya feeling?”

Hop nodded, and Leon felt his blood boil as he stood there and watched his brother smile at Raihan. It was one of those small, shy smiles, but it was a fucking smile all the same, and he gritted his teeth. There was no way he hadn’t done that on purpose. No way.

“Better.”

“That’s good! Champ been taking good care of you?”

Hop shrugged, not bothering to even give Leon the decency of looking over at him while they talked about him. “I guess.”

“You guess?”

Hop shrugged again, but Raihan turned around then to give Leon a clap on the back, a clap so forceful he didn’t expect it and toppled forward over his feet before catching himself to right back up. “Well, I’m sure he’s doing his best, right?”

Leon nodded, still in shock over the fact Hop smiled at Raihan like that, and his brain was refusing to function long enough to think of a coherent sentence. “Y-yeah…”

“Alright, I’d better hit the road then. Just wanted to drop by for a second.” Again, Raihan gave Leon a clap on the shoulder, a much softer, friendly clap, one that didn’t make Leon almost trip, before giving Hop a wave as well. “Text you later, champ.”

Leon tried to come back to life enough to converse with him, he really did, but he just couldn’t. The image of Hop smiling at him was stuck in his brain on repeat, and he only showed Raihan to the door, giving him a wave goodbye, before closing and locking the door behind him before he finally snapped out of it.

Whipping his head around to Hop, he spotted his brother crossing the kitchen and rummaging around in the sweets cabinet before he was on him, striding across to close the distance between them before he was right behind him, Hop not acknowledging him before he grabbed a bag of cookies out of the pantry.

“Just what the hell was that all about, huh?”

“What, I’m hungry.” All Leon was given from Hop was a small, barely even considered a glance before he was digging into the cookies to snack.

“You know _damn well_ what I mean, Hop.” And Leon hadn’t meant to, but he reached out, snatching the bag away from Hop who let out a ‘hey!’ before placing it on the counter next to him, never once breaking his gaze away from his brother.

“What’s your problem?!” Now Hop was glaring up at him, and Leon took only a moment to point a finger right at his face.

“That. Right there. You didn’t bother coming out of your room all day until Raihan showed up. So, which is it, Hop? You like him, don’t you?”

Heat rushed to Hop’s face and Leon watched his cheeks grow red, his eyebrows furrowing as he backed against the pantry door. “No! I already told you, you fucking psycho! He’s your friend.”

“So why did you smile at him?”

“I didn’t smile a—”

“Yes, you did, I stood right over there and watched you!”

At that, Hop pushed past him, huffing as he no doubt planned to head back to his room, but Leon caught his arm, pulling him back.

“I’m not done talking to you, Hop!”

“Let go of me! You’re fucking insane and I’m not going to stand here and argue with you over who I’m allowed to smile at!”

When Hop made to pull away from him again, Leon reached back over to grip him by his t-shirt, pulling him back until he had him gripped by both arms this time. Even still, Hop thrashed back and forth, pushing at him, but to no avail. Leon was stronger, and Hop knew that, even throughout his struggles, he knew he didn’t have the strength to pull away from his brother, but he was fighting him anyway.

“You know.” Leon’s grip tightened, and he didn’t care if he was digging his nails into Hop’s arms, close to scratching his skin. He didn’t fucking care right now. And if it had been any other time, he would have vomited at the thought of saying something like this to Hop, but he was too angry right now, too fed up with his fucking attitude he’d been forced to deal with all week long, too fed up with trying to be patient with him. If Hop wanted to fight so bad, then Leon would oblige him all he wanted. “You know he likes you.”

Hop froze, Leon feeling it when he seized up in his hold, his eyes widening before he broke his gaze away, cheeks gushing red. “No, he doesn’t.”

“Yeah, I keep forgetting you know everything, Hop.” He rolled his eyes, gripping him harder and gaining a small wince from him when he dug his nails into him. “But, that night he was here drinking, he told me. He told me he wanted to fuck you.” It wasn’t a lie to leave out the part he also wanted Leon in on the fun, but he didn’t feel the need to include that. It sickened him to be saying things like this to Hop, but his rationale was shot, and he knew deep down he was only saying things like this to scare him.

But, he didn’t care.

Let Hop be scared. Let him think everything Leon did was horrible and that life was just _so bad_ for him right now. Let him think that all he wanted.

But, the reaction was imitate. Hop froze, seeming not to have noticed Leon was hurting his arms, but he stared up at him in absolute horror. “I-I don’t believe you.”

“You never do. You didn’t believe me about your little girlfriend and you didn’t believe me about Mum either.” These were horrible things to say, Leon knew that, but he didn’t care. Let these words hurt Hop as bad as he was hurting him. Let him get scared. He deserved it. “And look what happened with them, Hop. Mum kicked you out, your dumb little girlfriend rejected you. Now you won’t believe me when I tell you Raihan wants to fuck you? And you still have the nerve to _smile_ at him like you do?” He smirked, enjoying way too much how Hop’s expression only continued to fall, until he wasn’t moving at all, but frozen in shock. “If you lead him on like that, he might try something with you. You’d better be careful about getting friendly with him, Hop. If you think—no—if you wanna _lie_ and say that sex with me is awful when we both know you love it, imagine if Raihan gets his hands on you.”

Hop sucked in a breath through his teeth, and Leon could see it on his expression. He was terrified, and he fucking _loved_ that Hop was terrified.

“He won’t hold back like I do. He’d fuck you until you’re bleeding, crying, begging him to leave you alone. He’s into way freakier shit that you can’t imagine. He might tie you up, gag you, drug you. Hell, it’s all on the table when it comes to him. But, you just keep smiling at him like that, let him think you’re into it, and he won’t hold back on you. Unless, of course, you really _are_ into all that stuff, and you want him—”

“No!” Hop’s voice was riddled with hysteria, and Leon could hear him cracking as he struggled to say what he had to say. “I-I don’t want any of that! Dammit, Lee, _let go of me_!”

He frowned. “Then why are you flirting with him?” He blatantly ignored his request.

“You’re _insane_! What part of smiling at someone has anything to do with flirting with them?!” Hop pulled at him again, but Leon only dug his nails into his arms yet again, causing Hop to yelp when he pressed him too hard.

“Why don’t you tell me? I’d love to hear your excuse, or rather, your lies.”

“Lee.” Hop grew strangely lax then, all of his struggles strangely quiet, even his voice, which had been escalating the entire time, grew low, and he lowered his head before speaking to Leon. “I don’t _like_ Raihan like that. I don’t even know him! I don’t like you like this either! You’re my brother, and it’s fucking _creepy_ that you want to touch me the way you do!”

Creepy? “I’m not getting into this argument with you again, Hop. I’ve already told you my thoughts on that, and the sooner you realize—”

But, Leon never even got to finish that sentence. With his hands wrapped around Hop’s arms, his brother having grown lax, he’d inadvertently let his guard down, but it was all the time Hop needed to rear his leg up before he kicked him square in the crotch. Leon’s knees bucked when the pain made him cry out, and he released Hop as he almost toppled over, his brother wasting not one second before pushing away from him, turning on his heels, and sprinting across the room.

In a split second, Hop was at the front door, fumbling with the lock, but despite the pain Leon was in, despite his shaking knees and his hisses of swears through his teeth, he was on him in seconds, not giving his brother a chance to undo the lock before he wrapped his arms around him from behind, pulling him up off the floor and away from the front door.

Hop scrambled in his hold, thrashing, kicking, pushing at him until Leon had to struggle to keep his grip on him so he wouldn’t drop him. The pain between his legs was dulling, though not fast enough for him to compose himself long enough to shift his grip on Hop and prop him in his arms properly.

“LET ME GO! LEE, GET _OFF ME_!” His voice had climbed to a shrill screech, and it sent shivers down Leon’s spine to hear his brother make such a noise of horror, but he didn’t dare waver his grip on him, only continuing to hold him the way he was, hoping he would tucker himself out eventually and stop thrashing so much.

“Where the hell do you think _you’re_ going?!” He tightened his arms, just enough that he could hear Hop gasp for breath when he squeezed his chest, but not enough to hurt him. Despite that, Hop continued thrashing, kicking, flailing around like a wild animal while Leon fought to keep him steady. It was getting harder and harder though.

“I’M LEAVING! LET GO!”

“THE HELL YOU ARE!” Again, the pain in between his legs was aching, but Leon bit the blood from his lip to keep from giving in and dropping Hop. He knew if he did, his brother wouldn’t hesitate to scramble away, yank open that door, and run like hell. He could not let that happen. He could _not_ let his brother run away from him like this.

“LEE!” Hop, in his attempts to get away, Hop was thrashing as though Leon were holding him underwater and he was drowning, but he could hear the way his voice was starting to crack, just the slightest bit of a crack, and the way he was fighting so hard against him, even the tiniest movements, Leon could feel were slacking. He was tiring himself out like this, but Leon held onto him. “HELP! SOMEONE, _HELP_!”

At that, Leon ignored the pain he was feeling entirely to reach up, one arm still wrapped around Hop, squeezing his chest when he did so, and slapped his palm over his mouth, muffling his words. “Shut up! Hop, nobody cares! Nobody is coming here, nobody cares what I do in my apartment, nobody is going to give two shits if you scream for help, so all you’re doing is wearing yourself out!”

But, that didn’t stop his brother from reaching up with his free hands, gripping hold of Leon’s wrist, and biting down as hard as he could onto his hand, causing Leon to fumble when he screeched in pain, blood dribbling down, and he dropped him.

Fresh blood oozed, as Hop didn’t hold back at all when he bit the shit out of him, but the moment he dropped him, his brother tripped, stumbling over his own feet and went to reach for the front door again, but Leon grabbed the back of his shirt, yanking him away back to his arms.

“Hop, if you don’t stop fighting me, I _will_ lock you up in your room! Don’t think I won’t!”

“SHUT UP! YOU’RE A PERVERT, A _FUCKING_ PERVERT!” With his arms wrapped around him, Hop couldn’t thrash as much as he wanted, but Leon could feel him trying to kick at him again, using every ounce of his strength to try and break out of his hold, but he wasn’t going to let him do that.

The moment his brother reared back as much as he could, jabbing Leon in the chest with his elbow, he purposefully dropped him, but this time, before Hop could scramble away from him again, Leon only gripped him by the arm, spinning him around to face him, before he pushed him as hard as he could against the wall. Hop floundered to it, not able to recover before Leon was on him, pressing him against it with his body frame alone.

“Hop, I’m not fucking playing around with you. You aren’t leaving, and I’m not lying when I tell you that I _will_ lock you up.”

“Then do it!” His voice was shot, Hop not looking up at him as he pushed against his chest, trying to get him off, but Leon didn’t budge. Even as Hop screamed at him, his voice breaking and cracking from still not being fully recovered from his sickness, but still, he pushed and thrashed, trying to get Leon off him. “You’re a fucking _pervert_ , Lee!”

“Stop calling me that!”

“You’re insane! You can’t seriously stand there and tell me everything you’re doing isn’t creepy as fuck! I hate it! _I hate it_ , Lee! Let me go, I wanna go home! I wanna go home and be with Gloria and be with Mum!” A final push, and Leon never budged as Hop struggled. “I WANT TO GO _HOME_!”

Without responding, without even acknowledging what his brother was saying, Leon pulled away from him only long enough to scoop him up in one quick motion, and he tossed Hop over his shoulder like a rag doll.

“PUT ME DOWN! LEE, LET ME GO!”

All he did was shift Hop on top of his shoulder, making sure he wouldn’t drop him as his brother kicked and pulled away, before Leon carried him off down the hallway.

“ _LEE_!” He pushed and kicked, reaching around to pull at Leon’s hair as he did so, but he never budged. He never flinched or made any movements that Hop was hurting him, because he didn’t care anymore.

Let him fight.

Let Hop deny this all he wanted. Let him sit there and scream and throw a tantrum like this, try to run out on him. Fucking let him say horrible things to Leon that broke his heart when he knew the truth, when he knew how Hop _really_ felt.

But.

In seconds, he had carried Hop back to his room, and threw him on the bed with more force than intended before he crawled over him, straddling him as Hop attempted to stand and run, Leon didn’t give him a chance to even _think_ he was about to let him do that. Reaching over, he nabbed both of his brother’s wrists, and slammed them down onto the mattress near his head where Hop couldn’t push at him. He pressed down on his legs with his own, knowing he would try to kick him, but he wasted no more time, gave no more patience or sympathy for his brother when he bent over and kissed him.

It was only a moment he got to taste him like that, indulge in the softness of his lips, but the instant he kissed him, Hop opened his mouth, and for a split moment, Leon thought he might actually kiss back, but the splitting pain on his bottom lip when Hop bit him became apparent soon enough. Leon reared back, yelping as blood dribbled down his chin, and he glared down at Hop who continued to struggle under him, though there wasn’t much he could do with the way Leon had him held down.

“You wanna fight me, Hop? Go right ahead. Go ahead and fight until you tire yourself out. Go ahead and deny to yourself that you enjoyed fucking your own brother, that you loved every bit of what I did to you. Shout it to the world if you want, I don’t care!” He leaned over, glaring down at Hop through lidded eyes, his nose mere inches away. “But, don’t you fucking _dare_ ever lie to me. You love this, and you know that you do.”

“I don’t—”

Without even waiting for him to finish, Leon leaned down and pressed his mouth to his neck, earning a sharp gasp from Hop when he did so, when he could feel him try and pull away again to no avail.

“Stop! Stop it!”

“No.” He leaned up, only to release one of Hop’s wrists to pull at his pajama bottoms, yanking them down with so much force, that he ripped the fabric. With his free arm, Hop reached up, slapping him straight across the face, but Leon only flinched for a moment before he continued pulling his pants down.

“LEE! GET OFF ME!”

“Shut up.” Hop had the _nerve_ to try and leave him, had the nerve to continue sitting here and lying to him about how much he hated this, when Leon knew damn well he loved it. He loved it, he loved this, and if Leon was going to have to prove that to him yet again, then so be it.

“Lee!” Again, Hop reached up, throwing his fist into Leon’s face, hitting him across the cheek in the same spot, but Leon didn’t budge. He was too focused on what he was doing to care about the pain in his body, and it didn’t matter how much Hop hit him, kicked him, bit into his flesh, he wasn’t stopping.

“You keep lying and saying you hate it, but I know the truth, Hop. And the truth is, you’ve always been enamored with your big brother, right?” He laughed, mostly to himself, as he pulled Hop’s pants off the rest of the way, having to maneuver the clothing off his legs in a way he was sure Hop couldn’t kick him. It was awkward, and it took some doing, with Hop struggling beneath him like he was, still hitting at his face, chest, anywhere he could land his slaps, Hop hit Leon everywhere he could reach, but he had stopped feeling the pain from that long ago. “You probably touched yourself to me all the time, didn’t you?”

“No! I never did!”

“Liar.” With his pants now torn and tangled out from around his legs, Leon pulled his underwear the rest of the way off, not bothering to be gentle as he tugged, yanking Hop’s legs out from under him when he did so. “You would always get _so_ excited to see me when I came home, like you couldn’t contain yourself when I came to visit, like it was the happiest time of your life. So, of course, you were ashamed of your crush on your big brother, the champion. You buried it deep down, deep, deep down where nobody would know how disgusting you really were, that all those times you recorded my matches was so you could imagine all the things you wanted me to do to you.”

“YOU’RE CRAZY!”

His underwear was pulled off, and Hop was naked from the waist down, still struggling to pull his legs out from under Leon, but having no luck, and Leon wasted no time propping him up until his bottom was in view. He dug two fingers inside of him, scissoring back and forth and loving—absolutely _loving_ the uncomfortable grunts that Hop made as he only thrashed back and forth, trying to throw Leon off him.

“You hid it away from everyone, even convinced yourself that you liked your neighbor, all so you wouldn’t have to face the reality that you were in love with your own brother. But, I wouldn’t have minded, Hop. All you had to do was come to me and ask.”

“I _never_ felt that way about you! Lee, you’re fucking crazy!”

“Even went so far as to buy toys that you thought might look like me. You played with yourself all night long, all those lonely nights you pleasured yourself, imagining it was me, wishing I would come home and do this for real.”

Three fingers, and Hop grunted when he shoved them in all the way to the knuckle, not bothering to be gentle anymore.

Leon looked up, smirked at him as he fingered his brother, as he continued holding his arm down to keep him flattened to the bed, even throughout Hop’s struggles, he couldn’t push him off, and they both knew that. They both knew Leon was stronger, and he was only proving it right now that Hop never had a chance against him from the beginning.

“Now look at you. In too deep, rejected by your girlfriend because even she knew you were a brother fucker from the beginning, Hop. Mum knew too.”

At the mention of Mum, Hop stopped struggling as much, only making uncomfortable whines that bubbled from the back of his throat as Leon continued to scissor him back and forth, stretching him, stretching him as far as he could go without it being his cock inside of him, and he could see the tears form in the corners of his eyes, falling just as soon. Hop cried, lying below him, his one free arm having reached up at some point to grab hold of Leon’s shirt and he squeezed, his voice shaking when he finally spoke.

“I never—Lee, I-I never _wanted_ this.”

“Of course you did, baby brother. You wanted me from the beginning, and you know it. Stop lying to me.” Again, he propped him up, Hop having stopped his struggles long enough for Leon to unzip his pants, as he was already hard, already ready for his brother. It never took long for Leon to grow hard for him, and he knew he wasn’t lubed, but that didn’t stop Hop from enjoying him the first time he took him. It would hurt a bit more, but Hop had hurt him plenty enough.

“I just wanted Gloria.” Hop’s tears fell, and his gaze shifted from Leon to the corner of the wall behind him, his lip quivering. “L-Lee, I wanted her to like me. I loved being with her.”

“She never liked you, Hop. If she did, she wouldn’t have rejected you, now would she?” With his pants unzipped, Leon pulling his length out, he pressed the tip against Hop’s bottom, enjoying the way he shuddered at the feeling of him, but Hop didn’t pull away like he thought he might.

“Lee…” As he pressed the tip of his erection against him, he watched little by little as the life drained from Hop, his tears falling in streams, his gaze never once leaving the wall. “You can’t…y-you can’t possibly think I wanted this with you.”

“You’re just embarrassed, Hop. And why wouldn’t you be? People would think differently of you if they knew who you _really_ had a crush on.”

“It was Gloria. I liked Gloria, Lee.”

“She didn’t care enough about you. Remember how upset you were that night in the tent? She did that to you, Hop. She doesn’t care about you at all.”

“And you do?” Finally, Hop turned his gaze from the wall, slow at first, but stared up at Leon through lidded eyes, his expression hollow, his tears still running free, but nothing on his face gave Leon any indication of what he was really thinking.

So, all he did was give him a smile. It wasn’t as gentle as he wanted, but Leon couldn’t bring himself to be generous to him right now. “Of course, I care about you, Hop. I love you.”

Slowly, very slowly, Hop shook his head from side to side, the tears spilling, and his lip quivered when he let out a sob. Quiet at first, but it began to claw its way out until he was huffing, shifting his body below Leon in an effort he could feel was to remove himself away from Leon’s erection he still had pressed against him.

“I hate you. I hate you, Lee.” His eyes opened, full of tears as they spilled down his face, down his temples and into his hair. There were so many tears, it was amazing how his voice was as composed as it was, even as he said these horrible things to Leon. “I-I _hate you_.”

“That’s fine.” Leon was shaking, before he gripped down to grab his erection, fitting the tip back against Hop’s bottom before he slowly pushed it in, gaining a gargled choked sound from his brother when he did so. Hop slammed his eyes shut, reaching up with his free arm to cover his eyes. “That’s fine if you hate me, Hop. It’s just another lie, but if you want to tell yourself that to make it all better for you, then go right ahead. I don’t care.”

He said that, but—

Leon swallowed, slowly pushing all the way to the hilt until his brother’s heat covered him completely, and he yelped down below him, obviously in pain, but Leon didn’t care. It hurt. It hurt to hear his brother say words like that to him, and he could feel it in his chest, the feeling like his heart was just broken in two.

Hop didn’t mean it. Even if Leon told himself that, that Hop was just in denial, that he really did love him, he could say it all he wanted, he felt the weight of those words, and it dipped down until he felt like someone punched him in the gut. The slaps, the hair pulling, the biting so hard he drew his blood, all of that was so minuscule to those three words. It hurt Leon in a way he never thought was possible, and he felt it when tears came to his own eyes, but he blinked them away just as fast.

Hop didn’t mean it. He didn’t _mean_ it.

He didn’t mean those things. He was just hysterical—he was just embarrassed that he loved Leon like he did, because they were brothers. He was just saying these things to cover up his own embarrassment.

Right.

Leon pulled out, and back in, not feeling any of the pleasure he normally felt when he fucked his brother, but Hop let out another choked groan below him, and he began slowly pulling out, and back in, until Hop got used to him.

“Stop covering your face.” Leon felt empty, Hop’s words made him feel hollow, and he held no remorse when he reached over to pry Hop’s arm off his face, revealing his eyes that were still slammed shut. “Hop, look at me.”

Another thrust inside of him, one that made Hop buck back against the bed as he was rocked below him, and Leon took his brother’s arm, folding it back down onto the bed so that he held onto both of his wrists.

“ _Hop_.”

He cringed under him, gritting his teeth as Leon thrust in and out of him, never once breaking his slow rhythm, knowing he was going way too slow, but not caring. He felt so empty right now, he doubted he even had drive to put feeling into this anymore. It wasn’t even sex at this point. It was just—

Numb.

“Hop, look at me.” Bending over, Leon kissed him, gaining another gurgled sound from his brother, and he half-expected him to bite him again, but he didn’t. Hop only blinked for a moment when more tears came, as Leon dragged his bottom lip up from his, tasting him, inhaling the scent of his brother that mixed with the smell of his shampoo and his sweat. When he leaned up, some of the blood from his lip had splotched against Hop’s mouth, and he wanted to laugh at it, but he couldn’t bring himself to feel anything other than overwhelming emptiness right now. All he did was continue to thrust in and out at a painfully slow rate, not enough to hurt him, but enough he knew it was uncomfortable for Hop too. Neither of them were deriving much pleasure from this, but Leon wasn’t sure if he even wanted that anymore.

For Hop to lie here and say things like that to him—Leon’s tongue dabbed at his bottom lip, tasting his own blood, and he shivered. To sit here and say he hated him, that he hated this, and refused to look up at him while he fucked him—he shook his head to himself.

It didn’t matter anymore.

“For the last time—” Leon’s voice, though empty, lowered into a growl, and he hadn’t meant to sound this way, but it came out nonetheless. “ _Look at me, Hop_.” He reached up, releasing his wrist, not waiting for his reply when he gripped hold of Hop’s chin to pull him up just enough that he wasn’t flattened into the bed. Hop’s eyes snapped open then, a stream of tears falling down his cheek when Leon held him up, and he loosened his hold a bit. “That’s better. You’re going to watch me fuck you. You’re going to see how much you love this, and you’ll see how I never once lied to you, Hop. Deny it all you want, but—” A particularly harder thrust from Leon, one that made Hop grunt below him, but he kept going. “You’re going to see sooner or later I’ve been right all along. You’ll see. I’ll make you see. Even if I have to keep you here forever, you’ll understand.”

Hop didn’t reply, but blinked his tears away as Leon finally released his face, reaching back over, gripping hold of his hand instead of his wrist this time, and intertwining their fingers together, holding him as he fucked him. Another thrust, and this time, he watched as Hop grew hard underneath him, and it made him smile. As much as he wanted to tease him for it, Leon couldn’t bring himself to do that right now.

“You _belong_ here, Hop. You belong _with_ me. You and me, we were made for each other, we were meant to be together this whole time. Your girlfriend knew it, that’s why she rejected you. Mum knew it, that’s why she kicked us out. We were meant to be with each other like this. And you…” He leaned down to give him a chaste kiss to the mouth. “You were made to lie below me like this. You belong like this, Hop. Lying under me, taking me, getting off on my cock alone. Deny it all you want, but look at you. Look what you’re doing right now. You hate it? No fucking way you do.”

Throughout his entire spill, Hop said nothing, his eyes lidded, no longer looking up at Leon, but he didn’t have to. His tears pooled down his cheeks, falling in constant streams and he sniffled as Leon thrust in and out, picking up his speed enough that Hop was completely hard below him, and it wasn’t long before he could see the precum dribble from the tip. Even in this state, Leon let out a laugh through his nose, though it didn’t hold as much joy as he would have liked.

He just couldn’t muster any joy to feel.

“You love it. Look at this.” With his free hand, Leon reached up, gripping hold of Hop’s cock and pumped him, gaining an uncomfortable moan from him when he did so, and Hop leaned his head away, looking off to the side when Leon began to pump him. “You love this, and you love me too, don’t you? You’re getting off so easily, there’s no fucking way you can lie there and tell me you _never_ touched yourself to me before. If I can—” He thrusted too hard, making Hop yelp when he rocked him back into the headboard. “If I can get you off like this, you know as well as I do you’ve been fucking yourself for years to the thoughts of me.”

The entire time he pumped him, rocking him back and forth as he thrusted, Hop didn’t say a word to him, but even with his head turned to the side, Leon could see the tears streaming down, hear his choked noises as he gasped and moaned in time with his pumps, and he knew he was loving it. It wouldn’t be long before Hop was coming, and he would show him then. Deny it all he wanted, even throughout all his fighting, when push came to shove, Hop enjoyed himself.

He was just shy.

Just in denial.

He didn’t hate Leon, he knew that. It was a spur of the moment thing for him to say, but Hop didn’t mean it.

Leon’s own orgasm was creeping, and he sucked in a breath as he focused on Hop’s heat surrounding him, focused on the sounds he was making, on the way he rocked under him, moaning each time he pumped him while he moved. It climbed higher and higher, until Leon was going faster, trusting in and out of his brother hard enough to move his entire body below him, and he wanted to reach down, grab hold of his face, and pull him back to kiss him, but he only pumped him, knowing Hop had to be close. With his precum coating his erection, Leon knew it wouldn’t be long and—

There it was.

Hop’s back arched when he came, his moans crawling out of his throat as he huffed out gasps of air, and came all into Leon’s hand, his cum sticking to his palm when Leon gripped hold of the tip, stroking him all the way down his length until he pumped him dry. The feeling of his brother’s cum on his hands was enough for Leon to reach his peak, and with a final thrust, he allowed his orgasm to take him as well, letting out an array of choked gasps as he came all inside of him.

It was one of the more unpleasant orgasms Leon had ever had, but it didn’t matter how bad it felt. He was too empty to derive much gratification from anything right now. He sat there, cock still inside of Hop as he breathed, as he allowed Hop to breathe, still caught in his haze.

With a resounding _pop_ , Leon pulled out of him, his cum leaking from Hop’s bottom as he crawled off him, and Hop soon brought himself up with him, leaning into a half sitting position, his face softened from orgasm, but his gaze cast downward, eyes lidded with fresh tear streaks stained against his cheek.

“See this?” Leon held up his cum-stained hand for Hop to look at, but received no reaction from him. With Hop not looking at him, Leon instead reached forward and dragged his palm against Hop’s cheek, smearing his cum against him and causing Hop to grimace, but not react any further. “ _You_ did this. That’s your mess, Hop. Deny it all you want, but there’s your proof.”

With that, Leon stood off the bed, stuffing himself back into his pants before giving Hop a quick glance. He hadn’t moved the entire time, only sat on his bed, breathing heavy, but slow, never once reaching up to so much as wipe away the cum against his cheek, but Leon could still see tears falling down his face. Hop never looked up at him.

“I warned you, Hop. I think you need some alone time, what do you think?”

No response, not that he expected one, but Leon continued.

“You’re not leaving the apartment. Not unless I say so. Cry all you want, scream all you want, nobody is going to question me if I tell them otherwise. You may as well get used to it, because this is your home now.” He gave Hop a final hard pressed stare, wishing he would look up at him, but Hop made no attempts whatsoever to even acknowledge him in that moment.

All he did was breathe and continue to cry quietly.

“If you make any moves while I’m working on your door, any attempts to run away, I’ll do worse than install a bolt on your door next time. I’m not lying to you, Hop. I never lied before, but you pushed me to do this. This is _your_ fault.” He had never wanted to lock him up like this, but Hop pushed him to do it.

He just couldn’t trust him anymore, not after all this. Not after the way he fought him, bit into him, and tried to run like he had. Leon had no _choice_.

“I’ll check on you later.” With that, he slammed Hop’s door shut, rattling the frame when he did so before going to fetch his tools.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys again for all of your support! See you next chapter!!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHECK OUT THIS FUCKIN BEAUTIFUL FANART CHICACHI DREW ME AHHHHH
> 
> https://twitter.com/thechicachi/status/1231339385624420353?s=21
> 
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“What happened to your hand?”

Leon had been absentmindedly pouring over a stack of papers that morning, so lost in his work that he didn’t see a young intern he hadn’t met before enter through the door until she was upon his desk, setting yet another stack of papers down for him to sift through. At first he started, having forgotten about the bandages on his hand, but he lifted his face up and gave her a nonchalant smile.

“Just an accident.” He was aware the marks on his body were visible, as Hop hadn’t held back when he hit him, but his bandaged hand was the most noticeable of them, and he had the occasional worrisome comment thrown at him, ones that he always dismissed in as light-hearted a manner as he could. After all, they _were_ just accidents. The bruise on his cheek was an accident, though not as visible as his split lip, and definitely not the first thing people noticed when they saw him with a bandaged hand. The wounds had long since stopped stinging from a few days ago, but Leon had acquired a nasty cluster of black and blue bruises on his hand from where Hop bit him. His teeth marks were still prominent, and it was mainly the reason he chose to keep it covered, not necessarily from the bruises themselves.

It wasn’t enough for Leon to think he needed to see the doctor, as Hop hadn’t bitten him hard enough to cause serious injury, but enough that even a week later, Leon could still feel the dull ache, still see his teeth marks that were slowly healing over time, and it would only take longer for those nasty bruises to finally go away.

Most people around the Battle Tower didn’t question him when he simply claimed his injuries were from an accident. He never went into any detail about it, only when he was pressed further did he lie and say it was from doing household chores or that he was clumsy and fumbled while trying to fix something. It was almost as routine as coming here the past week, doing his work, worrying over paperwork he couldn’t really focus on, and answering people’s concerning questions about why he looked so rough.

And, as always, nobody questioned him further. The young intern returned his smile before telling him she hoped he felt better and disappeared back out the door, leaving Leon alone once again. Letting out a sigh, he pulled the new stack of paperwork toward himself before glancing over at it, trying to separate priority from what he could procrastinate on.

Life at the tower had moved on as always, but Leon had been overwhelmed with the feeling he was moving through his days as though swimming in lukewarm water ever since that last weekend. It wasn’t like he _wanted_ to lock up Hop like he did, but his brother gave him no choice. At first, he merely tore the knob off his door and reversed the lock, not even giving Hop the luxury of being able to lock his own door anymore, as Leon knew he would just lock him out if he did that. He was concerned at first that Hop would simply break down his door some kind of way, but he wasn’t even sure why he feared that in the first place when Hop hadn’t done so much as tried to run from him anymore. And it wasn’t like he was strong enough to do that in the first place.

Maybe he really had accepted the fact he was home and Leon wasn’t going to allow him to leave the apartment—but he wished that Hop hadn’t scared the shit out of him and tried to run on him, giving Leon no choice _but_ to lock him up. Hop wasn’t a prisoner, he was supposed to be made to feel welcome in Leon’s apartment, not shut up like some kind of animal in a cage. Leon wanted to trust him, he really did. He wanted Hop to be able to move around the place, eat his food, do whatever he wanted when Leon couldn’t be there. Hell, he wouldn’t have even minded if he wanted to go out and explore Wyndon during the day, get some exercise and see the sights.

But.

Leon sighed, reaching up to rub his temples when he felt a headache coming on, more so at the sight of all the papers he needed to organize through, but also at the fact he couldn’t stop thinking about Hop back at the apartment. After the first couple of days when he could keep an eye on him, Leon had been sleeping on the couch, afraid Hop would escape during the night and try to leave him again, but (and it was mostly to make himself feel better) he had gone out and purchased a deadbolt and chain, fitting that to Hop’s door the second he got home so that even if he somehow opened the door while Leon was away, he wouldn’t be able to get through. It was probably overkill, but Leon couldn’t trust him at all, and if he had to resort to desperate measures like this to make himself feel better, then so be it.

Still. It made him feel guilty, as guilty as he could feel knowing that this was Hop’s fault to begin with, but no matter how Leon tried to rationalize with himself that Hop had driven him to this, he never wanted this to happen. Sure, in the past, he had fantasies of keeping him all to himself, having Hop there waiting for him, knowing he couldn’t leave no matter what, even if he somehow managed to force his window open enough to climb out, if the fall didn’t kill him, then Hop would seriously hurt himself. It was a fantasy, but now that Leon had actually gone through with it, leaving his brother by himself all day long was eating at him.

If he could just trust him to take him to the tower with him, that would be enough, because then Hop would at least be here with him where he could keep an eye on him, but that didn’t stop Leon from being paranoid he would break down and tell someone that he was doing horrible things to him, when he knew damn well he wasn’t. Hop was the one saying those lies, saying how much he hated it, but Leon knew it wasn’t true.

The guilt faded away as soon as it appeared, and Leon’s eyes glazed over his paperwork. If keeping Hop under lock and key was the only way to make him understand Leon’s love, then that’s what it would take. It didn’t matter how long, Leon would keep him there forever if he had to, and honestly the idea of Hop growing up beside him, after he’d been absent from his life for so long, was very appealing to him. Getting to watch his brother grow into a young adult made Leon happier than he imagined, and he found himself daydreaming about when Hop would finally grow taller, more muscular, daydream about how handsome he would be—as he couldn’t really say Hop was _handsome_ right now. More like adorable. He was just too lanky and skinny for Leon to really consider him anything other than cute. Not to say he wasn’t absolutely adorable and attractive, because he _was_. Leon loved how small he was underneath him, how he could take one arm and wrap it around him, pull him close, and feel Hop’s entire body melt into his. He loved it, he really loved how he could envelop his brother like that.

But, something about the image of Hop growing taller, broader, maybe matching Leon in height one day, it gave him a warm feeling deep in his chest, and he could smile to daydreams of that. Maybe Hop would even sprout up taller than him one day—and Leon had to laugh at the idea of Hop becoming taller than him in the long run. How adorable it would be. And Hop would have no idea how handsome he really was, he would be so oblivious to his own sexual appeal, but only Leon knew how truly amazing he was.

Thoughts like that occupied his mind during the day while he was at work. And work was an uphill slope to climb sometimes when Leon wanted nothing more than to be back home, Hop in his arms, nuzzling into his hair and drowning him in his love. It was amazing how often he thought about his brother while he was away from him, because Leon had gotten so used to being _near_ him all the time that being apart from him, even to go to work, made him depressed and empty all day long.

Even his coworkers were starting to notice his dip in mood, how he hadn’t seemed as lively as he once was several weeks back. Leon had changed, and while they didn’t question him, everyone had begun to notice. That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, least to Leon it wasn’t. He was love struck, so in love with his brother that he hated coming to work anymore, but he forced himself to. It wasn’t always pleasant if he was honest, but Leon also didn’t mind the times Hop caused him heartache, because he knew deep down that his love was genuine and honestly—

Hop made him _happy_.

Hop made him feel _alive_ as though Leon had been simply existing everyday, but not truly living. Hop gave him a purpose to continue through, to keep at it, to find meaning when Leon thought he knew all there was to know about what he wanted—he didn’t. He never fucking did, and it was almost laughable how Leon, a grown ass adult in his twenties, thought he knew what he wanted out of life, thought he had everything worked out, but he never did. It wasn’t until he discovered the love he had for his brother that Leon felt like things were _right_.

Maybe he had always been in love with Hop, but suppressed it deep down, because he was ashamed of it, knowing it was taboo. But right now, Leon didn’t care. He wouldn’t apologize for it, he would never, ever apologize for dragging Hop up here with him, showering him with his love, even locking him in his room—Leon wasn’t sorry for what happened with Mum. He wasn’t sorry Hop got rejected by Gloria. He wasn’t sorry Raihan watched him kiss his brother and get jealous over the fact his best friend had been eyeing Hop with lust.

If being in love with Hop felt this good, made Leon _this happy_ , then surely it wasn’t wrong. Surely feeling this much joy at the idea of going back home, cooking for him, cleaning up after him, and taking care of him, it had to be because Leon loved him so much.

After all, Hop made him happy. Hop gave his life meaning again, when Leon had been struck down after losing his title. Hop made Leon feel like he had so much love in his body that he could explode—and he only wanted his brother to know how thankful he was for it, for making him realize how wonderful life could be.

Leon wanted Hop to be happy, too.

Work continued on as normal, Leon trying to lose himself in the paperwork and focus long enough to get something done, but the hours ticked by at the snail’s pace, making him anxious. Each time he found himself looking at the clock, only to discover that a mere ten minutes passed, it felt like hours on his end. There just wasn’t enough to occupy himself with, and he was so antsy to get his shit and go back home already. It wasn’t for the fact he was worried Hop would somehow by some miraculous happenstance get out of his room, but Leon _missed_ him.

He was never the clingy sort, but after having Hop with him the past few weeks, he found himself enjoying his presence more and more, even if he didn’t talk to him much, just having him in the same room with him gave Leon comfort. Having someone there in the first place made him feel not so lonely anymore, but Leon loved his company. At least having Hop there gave him something to look forward to coming home to everyday, but it didn’t help the fact Leon couldn’t go one day at the tower without bouncing his legs in his chair impatiently as the minutes ticked by.

Sometimes he wished he could quit and stay at home full time, but even though he was probably financially stable enough to pull that off, Leon didn’t want to do that either. He had responsibilities at the tower, and as much as he wanted to cut ties here to take care of Hop, he just couldn’t do that to the place he sunk all his time and money into already. Ugh, it was so stupid to think he’d anchored himself here without meaning to, but there wasn’t a whole lot he could do about it right now.

Sighing for the umpteenth time that day, Leon leaned back in his chair, noting how the sun was just beginning to dip down and cast shadows from the window. Looking over at his desk clock, he saw that he had about fifteen minutes left until he could officially grab his shit and leave, but he stood from his desk, popping his back and stretching a bit. No challengers had shown up all day, which only added to his boredom. With winter blowing through, not a lot of people came to the tower when it got cold like this, as Wyndon was already a bit colder than anywhere else, but especially in winter, the snow piled up, people wanted to stay indoors where it was nice and warm. When it was summertime, he could start looking forward to more challengers showing up.

Leon had to smirk at the passing fantasy of Hop in a pair of swim trunks. Maybe when the weather got warmer, he could talk his brother into going swimming with him. The lake outside of Hammerlocke would be a great place to do something like that, even have a picnic or something. The image of Hop with water cascading down his body as the sun bore down on him, flushing his skin and making him sweat—was enough for Leon to have to bite his bottom lip, flinching when he accidentally bit down into his cut. Damn, a week later, and it was still painful right there, but he could put his pain on the back burner for now. It wasn’t like Hop meant to do that.

It was an accident.

As Leon tidied up around his desk and the like, the sun only dipping further into the sky, he glanced back at the clock to see it was finally time to go home and wasted no more time grabbing his bag and rushing out of the tower as fast as he could go. A few interns and some of his coworkers waved bye to him as he rushed out, receiving half-hearted waves from Leon in return, but it was finally Friday evening, and he had all weekend to spend with Hop.

The past weekend had been strained, but that was to be expected. After Leon barred Hop in his room, he hadn’t spent as much time with him as he would have liked, thinking it was better to let him have his space, but the more time Leon spent away from him, the more desperate he got to get back to him as soon as possible. He didn’t like leaving his brother alone like that, especially considering he had to take his phone and laptop away from him.

It was extreme, maybe overkill, but Leon didn’t want his brother contacting anyone to tell them he had done something as horrible as lock him up, when Leon knew he had no choice. Hop was still coming to terms with the whole living with him arrangement, so it wouldn’t hurt to take his things for a bit until he got used to being in the apartment. It had been weeks, but he could still tell Hop was uncomfortable being there with him.

And.

It didn’t help matters when Leon had taken his phone, surprisingly getting not much of a reaction from Hop when he did so, to unlock it out of curiosity and see that his brother had called their mother at least twice. The date was set from before he got sick, but it still made Leon cringe thinking Hop had attempted to call their mum at some point, and a quick look at his history only revealed Mum hadn’t attempted to contact him back at all.

Leon didn’t want to snoop through his personal belongings like he had, but his curiosity won him over and he ended up looking through Hop’s past texts, seeing that he hadn’t talked to anyone in weeks. Not even Gloria. The last text his brother ever sent her was that night he’d run away from home and it was just a quick, slightly desperate-sounding text that was asking her to meet him at the station. Whatever happened after that, Leon could only make guesses as to what went on between them as that was the night before he found Hop in his tent at the Lake of Outrage.

It shouldn’t have given him comfort like it had, but knowing Hop hadn’t really been in contact with anyone since coming up here made Leon feel a lot better. He wasn’t calling out for help or anything like that, which made Leon think maybe his brother really _was_ shy about this whole thing and it was just taking him time to come around. For him to go to such an extreme as running off like he had, biting, hitting, pulling at Leon like that in an effort to get away—if Hop was so desperate to leave him, why hadn’t he sent out a distress call for help?

Even though Leon knew he wasn’t doing anything wrong. Maybe deep down Hop knew that too. Maybe the fact he hadn’t reached out to anyone was proof he knew this was where he belonged and that Leon knew what he was talking about. Still, the fact his brother called their mum ate at his gut from time to time, and he almost wished that she had answered him. By no means would he ever forgive her for going at him like that, but Leon still hated that Hop had no relationship with her anymore. It wasn’t right for him to have to break off contact with his mother like that, even though Leon argued with himself all Hop needed was _him_ anymore, the guilt that pooled in his stomach wouldn’t let him get over it.

It was only a quick moment he had spent snooping through his things before Leon took his computer, phone, and locked them in his room. When he was sure he could trust his brother again, he would give him his things back. It wasn’t like he was throwing them away and not like he never intended to give them back at all, but it gave him more peace of mind while he was away from the apartment.

During that week, Leon had bought Hop a small telly for his room, as he wanted to give his brother _something_ to do while he was away. There was only so much he could give him to do while in his bedroom, but Leon tried. Without his phone, he was sure Hop was bored to death, and it killed him knowing that all Hop really had to do all day was sleep, but Leon was going to make it up to him.

Even if it was his fault from the start, Leon didn’t want to be cruel to him. That’s why when he left the Battle Tower that evening, he didn’t go straight home, but stopped by the gaming store. If buying Hop video games would help him stave off boredom, then Leon would buy out the entire store for him.

* * *

The sun had finished setting by the time Leon got back home that night. With some awkward movements on his part, as he had a giant shopping bag full of things hooked around his arm, he opened his door to be met with the quiet emptiness of his apartment. Even with Hop here with him, the place was always silent to an eerie degree, but he was impatient, not even bothering to remove his shoes or turn the lights on before he shut the door behind him and strode across the room, down the hall, until he was upon Hop’s bedroom door.

Within seconds, he had untwisted the deadbolt, unhooked the chain, and opened the door to be met with the bright light of his brother’s bedroom, seeing him sitting on the bed and apparently watching the telly, one arm wrapped around his Wooloo plush. His expression was vacant, even when Leon entered he looked up at him, but offered no other acknowledgements, and Leon shot his brother a bright smile, too excited to contain himself.

“Hi! I missed you.” Maybe it was silly to say that to him when Leon had just seen him that morning, but it was true. Normally during the week, Leon would have at least one opportunity during the day to come home, feed Hop, let him out long enough for him to cross the hall and use the bathroom, but today he hadn’t gotten the chance to get away from work, so he was sure Hop was not only starving, but probably had to go. He really was treating his brother like a caged animal, but there was nothing else he could do about it now. “Hurry and use the bathroom. I’ve got a surprise for you.”

Without a word, almost robotic by this point, Hop stood from his bed, placing his Wooloo next to his pillow before doing so, and quickly made his way across the hall before shutting himself up in the bathroom. Really the only time Leon didn’t allow him outside of his room was when he was at work, as he had no way of monitoring him, but he hoped in the passing week, he could ease up on his restrictions somewhat to the point Hop at least had the freedom to move around the apartment when he wanted. Being trapped in a single room all day had to be hard on him, but Leon didn’t know where else to put him. He couldn’t lock the front door of his apartment itself, there was no where else for him to put him without worrying about him running away.

Sometimes though, Leon had the idea of just breaking down and buying a house somewhere. Somewhere in the country, where nobody would bother them, but he wouldn’t even know where to begin looking for someplace like that. Still, the idea of taking Hop away, whisking him off to the country where he could have more freedom made Leon’s chest swell. Maybe one day, when he got his things sorted out and Hop came around to living with him permanently, he might could pull it off. It shouldn’t have made him happy to fantasize about living with his brother in a house somewhere, but it did.

After all, he had already planned for Hop to live with him indefinitely. What was buying a house somewhere more private going to do other than make living less stressful? There would be no people around to bother them, Raihan probably wouldn’t visit as often, but more importantly, Hop would have more leg room to get out and do things. It’d be more space for him and it’d probably be less hard on him having more of his own space to do the things that he wanted.

It was a nice thought at least, but one Leon put in the back of his mind. If he couldn’t trust his brother enough to stay put in his apartment, there was no way he’d be able to get away with stealing him off to the countryside. He just had to make sure Hop wouldn’t run, and right now, it was going to take some time to trust him again.

When he heard the toilet flush from across the way, Leon having begun to tap his foot impatiently as he waited for Hop to do his business, the faucet sounded and it wasn’t long before Hop emerged from the bathroom, moving a little too slow for Leon’s liking as he sauntered back into the bedroom. Leon, smile wide, couldn’t contain himself and held out the shopping bag.

“I bought you something.” He wished Hop would have shown a bit more life in him when he handed the bag off to him, but he remained blank-faced as he took hold of it, looking down at it as though Leon were handing him a pair of dirty shoes rather than a present. “Come on, open it! I know you’re bored and lonely in here, but I thought maybe this would keep you company during the week.”

About as unenthused as ever, Hop said nothing before he pulled out a box from the shopping bag, and Leon thought maybe—or maybe he imagined it, but he didn’t want to think he had—that Hop had a tiny spark of life come to his face then when he pulled the box around to see Leon had bought him a Switch. Not only that, but the bottom of the bag was filled with video games. Leon bought him everything he thought he might like, though he wasn’t entirely sure what kind of video games Hop even liked playing, he just bought whatever was popular.

Hop stared at the box for a moment, not even attempting to dig down into the bag to see all the games, and Leon was practically bouncing in place, wishing Hop would smile, or at least show him signs of life, show him that he was happy. Leon bit his lip, accidentally nipping his cut again, and wincing, but composing himself. “Ah—do you like it? Sorry, I wasn’t sure what to get you. But, I’ll help you set it up. Figured you’d want something to do during the week, yeah?”

“…thanks.”

And…there was a hollow tone to Hop’s voice. One devoid of any and all emotion, but all week long Leon had been getting one-worded replies from him, Hop never once ever speaking to him first. It was only when Leon initiated the conversation, finding that he would wind up speaking mostly to himself as no matter what he did, Hop never reacted much unless he asked him something directly. Even then, Hop would reply with the bare minimum, much like he was doing now.

He tried not to fault him for it, but Leon couldn’t help but feel a bit put off, wishing Hop would have shown at least a _little_ excitement for the new console. It wasn’t like he expected him to jump up and down for joy but—a little reaction at least would have been better than this.

Instead of dwelling on it, even though it was hard not to, Leon let out an awkward laugh as he took a step back toward the door. “Wh-why don’t we eat first and then we can play something? I think some of those are two player games, but I’m not sure.” Leon didn’t really know anything about video games honestly, as when he was younger, he was only interested in the gym challenge, and things like that had slipped past him, but every once in a blue moon when he’d come home to visit, he and Hop sat down in his room to play a racing game at least.

His brother always got so happy when he’d win, laughing and pointing at him when Leon wasn’t even sure how the controls worked, to brag about how he finally beat him at something, but he loved those times. Seeing Hop get so happy to best him made Leon happy. Maybe after dinner they could rekindle some memories like that, but with the way Hop had been acting lately, he seriously doubted his brother would be all that energetic, no matter how badly Leon wanted him to be.

Hop only gave a slow nod to his question, but Leon knew he had to be starving. He would supply Hop with snacks in the mornings before he left, and they were always gone by the time he got home to let him use the bathroom at lunchtime, so at least he was eating, but snacks still weren’t a full meal, and Leon had taken it upon himself to cook for him each night throughout the week. Most times when he came home, Hop was sleeping, having not much else to do, but hopefully with some video games, he could get his brother up and doing _something_.

With Hop on his heels, Leon made his way into the kitchen, Hop crossing the room to sit down on the couch where he drew his knees up to his chin before flipping on the telly and channel surfing. Leon busied himself in the kitchen, opening cabinets, gathering ingredients and the like. He wasn’t sure what else to cook, but settled on spaghetti. Hop wasn’t picky, but even if he was, he never said anything about the food Leon cooked for him and always ate everything on his plate. It made him happy to see him eating as well as he had. To be as worried about him as he’d been before to seeing him eat like this, it gave Leon a sense of ease to know Hop wasn’t purposefully starving himself anymore. Maybe that was just a one time thing, but he wanted to think it was because he was getting used to living here, at least a little bit.

Small progress was still progress.

As Leon cooked, throwing a slew of vegetables in with his sauce, he peeked over the counter every once in awhile to see Hop had settled on watching cartoons. It was a bit strange, considering he figured Hop would think himself too old to still be watching things like that, but it wasn’t like he was about to tell Hop what he could and couldn’t watch. Seeing his brother curled up on the couch like he was, his knees bunched up to his chin, arms wrapped around his legs—he looked so small. So much smaller than he normally did, and Leon couldn’t help but think how he looked like a child doing that, especially while watching cartoons.

Then that nasty voice in the back of his head reminded him that Hop was in fact, _still a kid_ , but he quickly shook thoughts like that away. He didn’t want to be going down _that_ rabbit hole of all things again, but sometimes it creeped up on him and Leon found himself sweating. So, he focused on his cooking, trying not to steal glances over at Hop who never moved or so much as reacted to what he was actually watching.

About twenty minutes passed while Leon silently cooked, Hop silently watched the telly, and he plated their meals before calling Hop over to join him at the table. Without a word, Hop dropped the remote beside him, leaving the cartoons to play in the background as he pulled the chair next to Leon back, scraping it across the floor when he did so. He seated himself, and wasted no time in digging into his spaghetti.

It should have made Leon feel awful to see his brother eating like this, eating like he was starving, but he was just so grateful that he was eating in the first place that it was easy to forget he was the one responsible for not coming home and checking on him at lunch. With Hop’s phone tucked away in Leon’s room, he had no way of contacting him to let him know when he would and wouldn’t be there, but he tried not to think of things like that. He’d just have to be better about getting away from the tower, taking better care of Hop. It was inconvenient for everyone involved, but Leon could always say it was Hop’s fault this was happening in the first place.

If only he hadn’t run. If only he hadn’t tried to wrench open the door and run away from him, Leon wouldn’t be doing this. Hop had nobody to blame but himself.

Leon swallowed the noodles in his mouth. It was easy to say that anyway. But, he still felt horrible. Maybe once Hop proved to him he could be trusted, he’d take the locks off his door and let him have free reign over the apartment. Hell, he’d even take him to the Battle Tower with him if he could trust him not to say anything to anyone. Having Hop there with him would make his work days go by a lot better too.

They ate in silence for the most part, but Leon continued to glance over at his brother every once in awhile, wishing the tension between them wasn’t so awkward. “Is it good?”

A small nod.

“I’m glad you’re eating. Did you want dessert afterward?”

A shake—no.

“Okay. Don’t be shy. You can have whatever you want in the kitchen.” It was Friday after all, the weekend was just starting and Leon planned to let Hop roam around as much as possible before Monday. He hadn’t taken him outside since—well, since he had taken him to the doctor, and he knew Hop probably felt cooped up, even more so that Leon had kept him in his bedroom all day. But, he thought maybe they could go out and eat during the weekend, maybe walk around Wyndon. It would give Hop a little exercise.

But for now, Leon stood from the table, not getting much of a response from Hop other than the occasional head shake when he asked him something, so he took their plates, Hop having eaten every bit of his spaghetti, and washed them in the sink. Turning back around to his brother, his gaze having fallen back to the telly as some commercial for toothpaste played, he shot him a smile, even though Hop wasn’t looking at him.

“Ready to play some games?” He was trying to keep the mood light-hearted, but it was difficult with Hop not really responding to him. It was more like he was going through the motions. Standing, walking, a head shake as a response. They were all movements he was required to do, but Leon hadn’t seen Hop really do much for himself if Leon himself didn’t instigate something first.

As a result, Hop stood from the table, pushing his chair back in, and followed after Leon when he passed by, heading back into his bedroom. His brother walked slow, a bit too slow for Leon’s liking, and he was already opening the box before Hop even made his way through the threshold. He crouched down, sitting on his legs, head held low while Leon tore open the box, dropping a cable as he did so. A plastic…thing fell out, Leon not really sure what it was, just knowing it was probably important.

“You’ll have to help me. I’m not really good with stuff like this.” Leon let out a sheepish laugh, but gauged no reaction from Hop other than a slow head nod. It wasn’t a lie though, Leon wasn’t savvy with electronics in the slightest. Raihan had to come help him hook up the telly, and half the time Leon didn’t even watch it anymore, only tuning in to check the weather, but this console already had more parts to it than he knew what to do with. So, he handed the plastic bits to Hop, pulling out a little instruction booklet that he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to attempt to read or not.

Surprisingly, Hop, in the most movement Leon had seen out of him all week, unraveled the cables, hooking up bits and pieces, and Leon watched him as he worked. It was more out of surprise to see Hop focusing on something for once, but Leon could still tell with how slow he moved that he was doing it more out of obligation than any real intent to actually play anything. He moved it toward the telly, hooking up things to the back of it, plugging up something into the wall, and finally docking the console before he turned back to Leon almost as if asking him if this was all that was required of him.

With the telly switched on, the console came to life, opening up the setup screen for them and Leon watched Hop, again more out of simply going through the motions but not really engaged in what he was doing, set up the system before Leon reached over to grab hold of the shopping bag. A slew of games rested at the bottom, and he gave Hop a smile before handing it to him.

“Go on, pick one. I think there’s a racing game there. We could play together if you want.”

Pausing for a moment, Hop stopped what he was doing long enough to look over at the bag Leon handed him, and for a moment, he thought he wouldn’t take it, but he soon set his controller down, gripping hold of the bag before digging around into the bottom. He pulled out a game, the racing game, before popping open the case and inserting the cartridge in. Leon wasn’t sure if he only picked that one because he said so, or if Hop really wanted to play it or not. But, he took hold of the joycons, handing Leon the red colored one while Hop took the blue one, and Leon took that as an invitation enough to settle down on the floor next to his brother.

That little controller was so small though, Leon wasn’t sure how he was expected to play, as it fit awkwardly in his large hands, but Hop seemed to be having no problems. The game was loaded, and he picked the two player option before the game gave Leon any control over what he was even doing. He fumbled for a bit, trying to wrap his head around playing with a sideways controller like this, but it wasn’t all that difficult to manage once he got used to it.

Scooting up close to Hop, he sat cross-legged next to him, Hop having drawn his knees back up to his chin, and his eyes were glued to the telly, his almost robotic movements putting Leon off again when they played a stage and raced together. Normally, he and his brother would have a back and forth, yelling at each other, Hop getting excited when he managed to win first place, as that was the way they used to play video games together, but—

Leon shifted his gaze over at him. Hop wasn’t enjoying this at all, he could tell. Even though he was without a doubt kicking Leon’s ass in this game, there was no merit in it. Hop didn’t grow excited about it, he didn’t even react when a computer character came by and stole first place from him, something the old Hop would have definitely freaked out over while Leon laughed at him.

It was one of the most awkward sessions of playing games with his brother Leon had ever experienced and it didn’t take him long to grow uncomfortable sitting there. Even as they played, Leon tried his damndest to get him engaged with him, tried to get Hop riled up enough to enjoy what he was doing, but no matter what Leon did, how horrible he was at the game enough to get last place, Hop never once reacted. Not once.

After their fifth race, Leon sighed before setting the controller down. “Well, I suck at this. How about I just watch you play for awhile?”

No response, but Hop set his controller down as well. With his gaze falling from the telly, Leon thought he might turn the console off, but after a few moments of silence, his brother picked up both joycons before pulling up some menu and setting it back to one player. Leon leaned back, watching him and couldn’t help to smile as he selected the most difficult setting the racing game would go. It was some kind of ultra speed mode, but Leon watched in fascination as Hop ran one course, gaining first place.

“It’s so fast.” Leon tried lifting his tone to sound amazed, tried giving Hop the impression he was doing something more skillful than he was, but his brother made no response. After another race, Hop placing first yet again, Leon let out a sigh through his nose. Hop was still picking courses at random, choosing the most difficult setting, but he didn’t appear as though he were having any sort of fun.

It was almost like he was only playing because Leon suggested it.

“Hop?”

No movement from Hop, not that he expected it, but when Leon reached over, dragging the edge of his finger against his brother’s earlobe, he finally got somewhat of a reaction. Not one that he expected, but he could hear the almost silent way that his brother sucked in air through his teeth, but made no move to look over at him. Leon took a moment to pinch his ear, not enough to hurt, but just enough tickle, even though Hop said nothing.

“You don’t have to keep playing this one if you don’t want. If you would rather play something else, you can. Come here.” At that, his brother moved. Again, it was movement as though he were simply doing it because Leon had said so, and it made his chest tighten at the fact Hop wasn’t doing things of his own volition, but rather only when Leon said so. He didn’t want Hop to obey him like a dog, but he had already locked him in his room. Maybe Hop thought he had no choice in the matter anymore.

But, his brother moved closer to him as Leon spread out his arms, and when he got close enough, Leon wrapped them around him, pulling Hop back until he was sitting in his lap, his back pressed to Leon’s chest. He sat with his legs on either side of his brother, until Hop was fitted right up against him, and once he was settled, Leon dug his face into the crook of his shoulder, taking a moment to breathe in the scent of him.

“I’ve missed you. Being away from you all week was lonely. I know that you’re bored in here all day, but I thought maybe having some video games to play would give you something to do while I’m gone.” He nuzzled his face into the back of Hop’s hair, noting how Hop wasn’t moving anymore, not even to play another race. “I think about you almost all day while I’m at work. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to go there so I can stay at home with you all day.”

No response. No movement. No reaction whatsoever.

“Hop?” Leon pulled his face out of his hair, holding Hop in a tight hug as he pulled him as close as he could possibly pull him without squeezing the air from him. “Do you like it? The video games?”

At first, he didn’t think Hop would answer, as he had completely stopped moving by that point. The only indication that he was still alive was the fact Leon could feel his chest rising and falling as he breathed, but Hop had set his controller down by his feet, the game looping on some demo reel in front of them, but neither of them were paying much attention. But, slowly, an answer way too belated, but still an answer, Hop nodded his head.

“…yeah.”

And his voice was so hollow it almost broke Leon’s heart to hear him sound this way, and he pushed his face back into Hop’s hair, wishing he sounded happier, but knowing things were hard on him right now. It was going to take getting used to, was all. Locking him up wasn’t something Leon planned, but he was given no choice. Hop might run off, and then where would he go? He had nobody to turn to, nobody to take him in. Leon worried about him being out there on his own with no place to go, and if he had to keep him under lock and key like this just to ensure his safety, then that was how things were going to stay until he could trust him not to leave.

“Hop, I just want you to be happy with me. I know this isn’t ideal, but I never wanted to keep you locked up like this.” Even though he had fantasized about it, actually doing this to his brother was one of the more horrible things Leon never thought would feel so fucking awful. “But, it won’t be forever. I promise. I just—” He gripped hold of him, letting out a breath on the back of Hop’s neck and feeling his body stiffen below him. “I love you so much. I want you to know that. I want you to be happy here. You aren’t a prisoner.”

That’s exactly what he made him into, though.

His brother said nothing, not that Leon expected him to, but he didn’t blame him either. If Hop was going to give him the silent treatment for awhile, it was a small price to pay for doing this to him. Leon knew he would come around eventually. At least he wasn’t fighting him, biting back at him and saying horrible things. After the fight that resulted in this whole debacle, Leon had seen his brother shift from someone who was willing to step up and argue with him, to someone who simply lived everyday going through the motions.

Hop wasn’t living. He was simply existing.

That wasn’t the kind of life Leon ever wanted for him. Least of all with him.

“Hop.” Again, he pushed his face into the crook of Hop’s neck, feeling him shiver below him when he pressed his mouth against him, giving him a gentle kiss. “Do you know how much I love you? You make me crazy, sometimes it even scares me a little how often I think about you. Maybe that in itself is a little crazy, but it’s true.” He laughed, but it was forced, simply a sound to be made before kissing Hop’s neck again. All the while, Hop remained unmoving in his hold. “But, you make me happy. It’s the truth. I thought I had everything figured out, but I didn’t.”

As he rambled on to him, Leon took one of his arms and unraveled it from around his brother, placing his palm that wasn’t covered in bandages against his chest where he could feel him breathing a bit heavier now. He ran his fingers across Hop’s chest, feeling his nipples through his shirt, before moving further down, until he could just feel his navel.

“You know, when I lost my title, I admit I got bogged down. It was tough trying to pretend I was a good sport, but when you live so long in the spotlight, everyone’s eyes on you, everyone cheering for you, hoping you stay the best, it’s hard when it’s taken away from you in the blink of an eye. People think differently of you, even if they say they don’t, they do. You feel like a failure, no matter how much you’ve actually accomplished. Losing so easily really fucking sucks, you know?”

His fingers tangled with the drawstring of Hop’s pajama bottoms, and he dug the pads of his fingers into his pants enough to stretch back the elastic. Hop only breathed below him, but made no attempts to move before Leon slowly reached down into his underwear. Only when the tips of his nails brushed against Hop’s dick did he make any sort of reaction, and even that was only a small intake of breath.

“But, you know.” Leon pulled his brother’s underwear back until he folded it down enough around his hips that he could release him from his pants. Hop was exposed below him, and Leon pulled his face away from his hair enough to rest his chin on Hop’s shoulder where he could watch himself before he began to pump him. Hop only stiffened up against him, where Leon could feel him buck up against his chest, but other than that, he made no movement to try and get away or even protested as Leon sat there and ran his hand all along his length. “Even after all of that, you were the only one who still treated me like I was a big deal. I never did any of it for the fame or glory, even though it was nice to be recognized for my talents, but—”

A small laugh through his nose when Hop seized up below him, finally making a movement that was only to reach over and grab a fistful of Leon’s pants before squeezing. He made an uncomfortable sounding moan while Leon pumped him, but it wasn’t long at all when he grew hard, and Leon stroked him a bit faster, being gentle. Seeing Hop get excited for him, despite all that was going on, despite how strained things were, seeing him still get off so easily for Leon made him happy.

“I don’t know, Hop. The attention was nice while it lasted, but I always appreciated it a thousand times more when it came from you. It always made me the happiest knowing my little brother thought things like that of me. People can say whatever they want, they can tell you you’re amazing, but it never seemed genuine to me, you know?”

Precum leaked from the tip of Hop’s cock, causing him to make the most adorable little moan when he bucked back against Leon, brushing against his crotch when he did and Leon smiled at him before applying another kiss to the side of his neck. He continued watching himself as he pumped Hop, finally glad to see his brother make some type of reaction, even if it was these tiny moans and such, it was more life out of him all week than anything else Leon had seen from him. His brother gripped his pants tight, squeezing and pulling in time with every pump Leon did, but he didn’t mind if Hop wanted to hold onto something. Least of all him.

“But, Hop.” Another kiss, another moment when he felt Hop thrust into his hand as his breathing turned heavy, his brother letting out gasping huffs, and Leon smiled. “I mean it when I tell you that you make me happy. Life sucked for awhile after I lost my title, and I tried not to dwell on it, but the truth was, I didn’t know what to do with myself after that. When everything you’ve worked hard for and known for so long suddenly isn’t there anymore, it feels like something is wrong. I thought I’d lost everything.”

Leon laughed through his nose when Hop straightened his back out a bit as he thrusted into his hand, Leon having used the precum to lube him as he stroked, but he pressed his mouth to the back of Hop’s neck, kissing in time with his pumps until he peppered his throat and shoulder with his mouth. 

“You mean the world to me. I love you so much and I want you to be as happy as you’ve made me, Hop. _I love you_.”

With a final kiss to the side of Hop’s face, his brother spasmed below him, letting out a strangled grunt before he came all into his hand, still fisting his pants leg, his gasps turning Leon on more than he would have liked to admit, but he held onto him. With one arm still wrapped around him, he clung to his brother as he rode out his orgasm, digging his face back into the crook of his neck and kissing him while Hop pressed his back against his chest, still letting out the most beautiful array of gasps and moans Leon had ever heard him make.

It didn’t last nearly long enough, but Hop soon quieted under him, and Leon only held him again, feeling it when his brother slowly went lax in his hold, his breathing calmer, his high from orgasm no doubt leaving him, but Leon smiled. With a kiss to the top of his head, he held him close, being mindful of the mess in his hand and trying not to get it all over Hop as he clung to him.

“Hop, I want you to know how much I love you. I want you to know everything is going to be okay. If there’s ever anything you need, I’ll be here for you. I want you to be happy.”

With that said, Leon took the hand not covered in his brother’s cum, his bandaged hand, and reached up, gently as he could to pull Hop’s face by his chin until he was somewhat facing him. Though, Hop didn’t look at him, it was enough for Leon to lean over and give him a kiss on his mouth, lingering, maybe lingering too long, but he let out a breath when he pulled away, Hop not once pushing against him, protesting, or making any moves at all. He allowed Leon to kiss him, and with his brother sitting like this in his lap, Leon only nuzzled his face into his, pressing their cheeks together as he did so, as he gave his brother a final quick kiss.

“I love you, Hop.” It was true. His brother made him crazy, maybe a little obsessive, but if he felt this good when around Hop, when simply the thought of him drove him mad, then it couldn’t have been a bad thing.

His brother said nothing, but Leon didn’t fault him for it. After he sat with him for awhile, loving on him, his brother allowing Leon to cling to him like he did, feeling starved the entire week he had forced himself to hold back, Leon never knew a time in his life he had ever been this happy before.

And really, it would only be a matter of time before Hop came around. Leon hated seeing him like this, devoid of life and emotion, but he kept telling himself it was only temporary. It wouldn’t last forever. Pretty soon, Hop would be back to his old self, he would realize life with Leon would be much better than life in Postwick, and he would come around soon enough. The gratification would only feel a hundred times sweeter the day that happened, and Leon would wait as long as it took for his brother to get comfortable here.

Until then, he pulled Hop off his lap, helping him to stand as they made their way to the bathroom and cleaned up, Leon stealing glances over at him every once in awhile to smile to himself. How could one person make him feel like this all the time? How could Hop possibly possess so much power that he made Leon weak in the knees, make Leon feel full of so much love that he wanted to burst? It was a little scary, but Leon didn’t mind it either.

He would come around, Leon was sure of it. And he would wait as long as it took, even if it took years, he would wait for him.

Because Hop made him happy. Hop gave his life _meaning_ again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hop.exe has stopped working :(
> 
> Thank you for your support. See you guys next chapter!


	21. Chapter 21

The weekend could not get there fast enough.

The past two weeks, most of Leon’s thoughts were focused on getting back home, as he was forced to go back to work. He couldn’t spend as much time with his brother like he wanted, but it only made getting through his work days an absolute slog. However, he had at least a little solace in the fact Hop was being well fed and had more things to entertain himself with during the day.

That didn’t stop Leon from missing him, though. Work was already a drag to get through with the winter season slowing down the influx of trainers who normally flooded the tower trying their hand at a battle with the former champion. Now that he had Hop to worry about, it only made it harder to occupy himself while he was away from him.

But, it also made the weekends more special. The weekdays were nothing to look forward to other than getting back home as fast as possible, but nowadays, Leon had started getting excited for the weekends, something he hadn’t experienced in a long time.

Weekends meant getting more time with Hop. Getting to go out with Hop, getting him out of his room he was still locked up in. Every second Leon spent with him when he wasn’t at work were seconds he cherished and never took for granted.

Even now, as Hop sat with his legs draped over his bed, Leon on his knees in front of him as he slowly pulled his bottoms off him, exposing Hop’s bare legs before he smiled up at him, even these were moments he cherished like nothing else. Getting Hop vulnerable like this wasn’t as much of a chore as it used to be, as his brother mostly walked around the place with a vacant expression, only doing things when Leon asked it of him, but he tried not to focus so much on Hop’s dip in mood. This was going to take getting used to, and he knew eventually Hop would be back to his old self.

Still, as he smiled up at him, leaning over to press his mouth against the inside of Hop’s thigh, he felt his chest swell at the intake of breath his brother made. Though gaze falling to Leon, his eyes lidded, Hop didn’t appear to be as into this as Leon was, but that was okay with him. Honestly, it was better than Hop’s insufferable kicking and screaming, though deep down, Leon really did wish he would be more enthusiastic about this, but he would take this as progress. Hop would come around. He just needed more time.

And Leon had all the time in the world. He had time and more when it came to his brother, and he pressed himself between his legs, kissing the underside of Hop’s thighs, pulling his legs up off the edge of the bed as he did so, as he trailed a line of kisses all the way from his knee back up to the lining of his crotch.

Hop made no movements or sounds other than the occasional small gasp through his teeth, but Leon was indulging himself, and focused on what he was doing. As long as Hop didn’t fight him, he could do whatever he wanted, and right now, he was starving for him. Generally during the week, Leon tried to hold off on having sex with him, but damn was it getting harder and harder to. That was another reason to look forward to the weekends.

If he saved himself for Hop during the weekdays, it made the weekend all the more exciting to look forward to when he could let everything out and go wild.

Though, going wild in Leon’s eyes was still making sure Hop was enjoying himself too. Despite all that had happened lately, he never wanted to hurt his brother, and even though he knew he could be insatiable with his sexual appetite, that didn’t mean he would snap and hurt him.

Slow and gentle, as gentle as he could be, Leon trailed his fingers up through the wet spots he’d left after kissing and dragging his tongue along Hop’s thighs. Hop shuddered under his touch, but it was probably more from the fact it tickled than anything else. At that reaction, Leon let out a small laugh through his nose, feeling Hop shudder again.

“Feels good?” Little did Hop know that every time he made noises or movements like this, it was getting Leon off. How incredible that his brother, without even trying, could do this to him. It amazed and terrified him at the same time to think Hop didn’t even have to try and Leon got excited for him.

Hop didn’t reply, but made no other movements when Leon reached up to the elastic band of his underwear, pulling it back and down far enough to expose the side of his hips. His brother offered little more than a soft exhale before Leon began to work his underwear off him, pulling him up by his legs when he could to maneuver it down and around to his ankles. All the while, Hop remained somewhat stoic, only moving when it was required of him, but saying nothing, and making absolutely no protests when Leon finally had him naked from the waist down.

With his underwear discarded to the floor, Leon took a moment to marvel at him. Hop was by no means as well endowed like he was, but he still had a lot to be proud of. Maybe when he got older, he could give Leon a run for his money, but for now, he liked him this way. Small and dainty, Hop was everything Leon was not, but he loved the difference between them. Simply by looking at them, people could tell they were related, but their body types were such a stark contrast, and it made Leon feel such a strange warmth in his chest and he didn’t even know why. Why did viewing Hop as smaller and more vulnerable make him happy?

What a weird thing to be happy about, but Leon didn’t mind.

With a pinch to Hop’s hip, causing him to shudder again, Leon let out a small laugh as he squeezed the patch of fat that wasn’t there before. “Look at you, Hop. You’re finally gaining some weight.” Again, he pinched him, not enough to hurt, but definitely enough that Hop squirmed under his fingers. Leon often forgot Hop was ticklish, but he enjoyed teasing him like this too.

A quick glance up and Leon could see Hop’s face growing red, his focus momentarily leaving Leon to look at the patch of carpet behind him, but he didn’t react further.

“That’s a good thing. You were always beautiful, but you were too skinny before. I didn’t want people to think I was starving you or anything.” With one hand, Leon gripped hold of Hop’s cock, gaining only a slight shiver from him, but Hop said and did nothing as Leon encased his mouth over him.

Only when he sucked up through his length a couple times did Hop finally move, and even then, it was only to grip hold of Leon’s hair and squeez. And did he love— _absolutely love_ —when Hop did that. To have his little brother grab hold of his hair and squeeze his roots, it was something Leon saw as the fact he really _was_ enjoying himself. And maybe throughout the few weeks he’d been here with him, Hop was slowly starting to realize that fact himself.

No longer was he denying it, or fighting Leon, or pushing him away, saying biting comments like he used to, but he was slowly accepting it. Leon could tell, little by little, how Hop’s demeanor was changing. He didn’t necessarily like this new Hop, this very despondent, overly compliant Hop who did whatever he said without question, but Leon didn’t hate it either.

He just wanted Hop to enjoy himself, he just wanted him to smile again, go back to his old self, and be happy with him. Maybe it was just going to take a little more time, but Leon was getting impatient waiting for him. As much as he told himself he’d wait as long as possible, it didn’t change the fact he just wanted Hop to leap into his arms and proclaim his love for him already.

Though.

That was a long shot. He knew. It didn’t stop him from fantasizing about it, though. And it didn’t stop him from enjoying these intimate moments with Hop, despite his lack of enthusiasm, Leon always enjoyed himself, maybe a bit too much. He could always consider his own eagerness as making up for Hop’s lack thereof. It wouldn’t hurt to show his brother there was nothing wrong with being intimate with him, and after all, his endeavors were only to ensure Hop knew he was safe and comfortable. Leon would just have to keep at it until Hop came around.

For now, he sucked, and lathered his tongue all along Hop’s cock, enjoying the moans that were growing from his throat, seeping out in small vibrations Leon could practically _feel_ at this point. The way he could tell Hop was thrusting into his mouth made him want to tease him, laugh, but he didn’t dare let up what he was doing. He didn’t dare drop his concentration and remember that this was about pleasuring Hop and making sure he was comfortable first and foremost.

Still, the way Hop fisted his hair, pulling his roots and moaning every time Leon bobbed up and down, it turned him on, and he wasn’t ashamed when he grew hard sitting there, simply from sucking off his brother and hearing his moans, feeling the sting from the way he pulled his hair a bit too hard. It didn’t matter. Pain like that didn’t matter, especially if it was from Hop. Leon loved everything that his brother did to him, even if it was this. Even something as simple as pulling his hair, he enjoyed it.

Quickening his movements, Leon remained gentle as he sucked, but bobbed faster as he could hear Hop’s breathing harden, the gasps he was trying so desperately to keep inside seeping out between his teeth, and Leon wanted to smile. Wanted to tease him a bit, but that could wait till later. Right now, he sucked, and only when Hop thrusted into his mouth, gripping his hair so hard Leon was afraid he might wince, his brother finally let out a grunt before coming into his mouth. It dribbled down his chin, even as Leon fought with his gag reflex to keep from choking, he couldn’t help when he pulled himself off, swallowing what was in his mouth, but not able to hold back his coughs.

It always threw him off when Hop came _so much_ like that, he was never prepared just how much he could release. Despite choking a bit on it, Leon composed himself long enough to wipe the excess from his chin and clean the remainder of cum off Hop’s cock, his brother having slouched from his seating position and was breathing heavy from the haze.

Leon leaned up once he cleaned him, offering Hop a smile. “Did you like it?” Leaning forward a bit, he pulled himself up enough that he was leveled with his face, never dropping his smile.

Unfortunately, Hop never answered, but Leon didn’t press him about it. He could always give him a hard time later, but for now, he let it slide. Instead, he pulled Hop close by gripping the sides of his face, planting a kiss on his mouth, wishing that through this, Hop could taste himself on Leon’s tongue. Much to his delight, Hop didn’t pull away and even opened his mouth for him, allowing Leon all the access he wanted. His brother had been getting so good lately with allowing him to kiss him, even shove his tongue in his mouth whenever he wanted. It should have worried Leon how complacent he’d gotten, but he was too focused on the fact Hop was even letting him kiss him this way in the first place, something he hadn’t gotten him to do since this whole affair started.

Pulling back, Leon allowed himself to breathe, his face flushed as it always got when he kissed him this way. He couldn’t help it. Hop was too adorable, especially when his face turned red after being kissed, much like it was now. It drove Leon _wild_ , and he couldn’t help to smile at him again.

“You’re so beautiful.” It felt strange to always say that to him, but Leon meant it. Hop really _was_ beautiful—more so in an adorable way. A cute way. A way that made Leon want to bundle him up in his arms, hold him close, and cuddle him for hours.

His brother merely lowered his gaze to the side, his cheeks still gushing heat and redness, which Leon could feel seep out onto his palms as he held him by the face. He couldn’t help it. Leaning in, he kissed him again, this time simply enjoying the feeling of his soft lips against his own. Dragging his bottom lip up, he tasted the remnants of syrup on the tip of his tongue from the pancakes they’d eaten that morning. Of course Hop would taste sweet. He smelled sweet, he tasted sweet, everything about him could be considered sweet.

As much as he wanted to sit there and continue kissing him, enjoying Hop’s pliancy, the fact of the matter was Leon was hard, and aching. Trying to quell his growing desire, he leaned away from the kiss, not able to help but smile at the sight of Hop’s reddening face, growing a deeper shade the longer Leon kept at him. It was so cute to see his brother still acting this shy around him, even though he’d already seen him naked so many times, already heard what he sounded like when he orgasmed so often. It wasn’t like there was anything left to hide between them, and still, Hop was bashful, but Leon didn’t mind one bit.

“You’re doing so good for me, Hop. And doesn’t it feel good? It must for you to come like that.” As he lowered himself back to his knees, Leon took the moment to trail his hands down Hop’s body along with him. He traced the pads of his fingers down his cheeks, his neck, fiddled with the collar of his shirt before trailing down his chest, his navel, and finally back to his hips. “Move with me. Lean back just a little, okay?”

Though he obeyed, Leon could still tell Hop was hesitant as he didn’t move immediately, but that was okay. In the end, he moved, leaning back and doing as he was told, which made Leon smile. It should have made him feel horrible he was giving Hop orders like this, but honestly just having him comply without the dramatics was enough to send Leon over the moon. Something as simple as listening to him like that shouldn’t have made him happy—but _damn_ , it did. 

With his brother slouched back enough, Leon took the hand resting on his hip to reach Hop’s underside, propping him up when he did and causing Hop to flatten against the bed. His legs still dangled off the side, but Leon held him up by the back of his thigh, until Hop was all but exposed under him. Leon’s erection was still aching, and he took a moment to grind into Hop’s thigh, earning him a soft gasp as he did so, but otherwise, no movement from his brother. He only grinded a few times to dull the ache long enough to focus his attention back to Hop.

“Open your mouth.”

Hop froze below him, and it was only for a moment Leon watched his body tense, could feel his muscles grow tight as he gripped him by his thigh, but Hop didn’t look at him. He probably thought he was about to do something scary or shove something gross in his mouth, but Leon let out a laugh through his nose.

“It’s okay, Hop. Just do it.” Then, as a sign of reassurance, he dipped his head low enough to kiss the side of Hop’s thigh, receiving the smallest of shivers from him. “I won’t hurt you, I promise.”

There was a look of doubt drawn all over Hop’s face, but despite that, he slowly, very slowly, pulled open his mouth then, and Leon hauled himself up far enough that he hovered over him, reaching up with his thumb to place the edge just along Hop’s lower lip.

“You’re doing good. Don’t worry.” Giving Hop what was meant to be a calming, comforting smile, Leon then gently inserted two of his fingers, and winced when Hop’s immediate reaction was to bite down on him. It wasn’t hard, but it was enough to make Leon jump, and he pulled them out just as fast. “No biting. Come on, Hop, let’s try again, okay?” He was firm, but still gentle, trying not to make any sudden movements and scare his brother.

Hop didn’t move, but averted his gaze when he went to open his mouth a second time, the gush in his cheeks still prominent. Leon wasted no time in reinserting his fingers, allowing the heat from Hop’s mouth to coat them. Brushing them over his tongue, his teeth, the inside of his cheeks, he moistened them with Hop’s saliva, causing him to gag and choke when he pushed too far back into his throat, and at the risk of Hop accidentally biting out of reflex, Leon removed them a second time.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to choke you. You okay?”

Hop made a rather gurgled strangled gasp before he swallowed, letting out a few smaller coughs which Leon couldn’t help but think sounded adorable coming from him, but eventually, he nodded, eyes squinted shut then as he let out a few more coughs. But this satisfied him for now, and really he only needed a reason to get his fingers nice and wet.

“Good. Just lay back and relax.”

Again, slowly, but with no lack of hesitation, Hop leaned back until his head was resting on the mattress, and Leon could hear his rather sharp intakes of breath.

“It’s okay. Don’t be scared, Hop, I promise I won’t do anything scary or hurt you.” Offering him constant comfort and reassurance was all that Leon could do, hoping it was enough to placate him, but with Hop’s rather stilted compliance, it was still compliance in the end, and Leon would continue what he was doing so long as Hop continued to lie there for him. And to be fair, even if he didn’t, Leon knew he would do it anyway. This was just way less complicated and involved much less heartache on his end when Hop listened to him.

Still, despite his efforts to calm his brother down, he could still feel his tensed muscles under his palm when he hoisted Hop up by his thigh, exposing his bottom and causing him to let out another gasp through his teeth. Looking up only for a moment, Leon frowned at the sight of his brother gritting his teeth and cringing, but he tried not to let it get to him. He wouldn’t be doing that for long anyway, and it was only a initial reaction to when he did this. He knew his brother was uncomfortable having him finger him, but it was necessary if Leon didn’t want to hurt him.

So, he offered up another smile, noting how Hop wasn’t looking at him, not that he really could from the position he was in as he stared at the ceiling, chest rising and falling with each rapid breath he took, but it was the last notion of comfort he could give his brother before he gently inserted one finger in him. The reaction from Hop was instant, though not what Leon expected. If Hop had squirmed, he wouldn’t have been surprised, but his brother merely made an uncomfortable closed-mouth moan before growing rigid.

“It doesn’t hurt, right?” It was one finger, it shouldn’t have. Hop had taken his entire cock before, so there was no way this hurt him. But, maybe the fact his fingers were moistened (and the fact it had been moistened by Hop’s mouth) only added to his discomfort. Leon wanted him to enjoy himself, hating how he cringed above him like this, but he continued to be as deliberate as possible, making sure none of his movements were sudden or harsh. It would do no good if he made him panic, but Leon didn’t think it would come to that.

Slowly, he pushed another finger in, scissoring when he did so, remembering to remain slow and deliberate, but that didn’t mean Leon wasn’t shy about grinding himself against Hop’s leg every once in awhile. Hop made a slew of uncomfortable moans below him, but he couldn’t help but let out a laugh at him.

“Still shy, aren’t you? That’s okay. You don’t have to be shy around me anymore, Hop. I’m the only one here. I’m the only one looking at you.” He bent down far enough to kiss the inside of his thigh once more, allowing his tongue to press against his hot skin and taste him. “It’s just us here. There’s no shame involved.”

Hop didn’t respond, not that he expected him to, but his brother bucked back when he scissored him, inserting one more finger into him and pushing them in all the way to the knuckle. Hop hissed through his teeth, throwing one arm over his face as he did so, causing Leon to laugh.

“The fact you act so bashful—it really turns me on, Hop. It’s so cute.” With another small laugh, he kissed his thigh again before continuing his gentle maneuvers inside of him. Back and forth, he stretched him, being mindful not to get too rough with him, but damn—it was hard when Hop began to squirm under him, no doubt uncomfortable with the invasive feeling of his fingers, but Leon didn’t let up. Though he was being as gentle as he could possibly be, the more Hop moaned, the more he squirmed, and the redder his face got hidden under his arm, Leon was so ready to fuck him that he almost lost it. It never failed to amaze him just how riled up his brother could get him like this. How lustful he got when Hop was involved. Leon never wanted to get laid as bad as he did when Hop was around. His brother just had an air about him, something about him, Leon couldn’t put his finger on, drove him crazy, made him so happy he wanted to burst.

It had to be love. Leon _knew_ it was love. Nothing else ever made him feel this good, Hop being the exception, but Hop was special. Hop made him feel fucking amazing, and he only wanted to share this amazing feeling with him as he fucked him on his fingers, Hop wriggling below him the more he stretched and prepared him.

But, his cock was aching, and Leon had done all he could to ensure Hop was comfortable below him. Removing his fingers, his brother was glistening, ready to take him, and he had come prepared this time as well. Lowering himself to the floor, he picked up a bottle of lube he’d brought, squirting a liberal amount into his palm before unzipping his pants and pulling out his erection.

There was already precum seeping from the tip, and when he coated himself in the lube, trying to bite back his own moans, he took his time making sure he was covered all the way to the hilt with the substance. Every stroke he gave only made it that much harder to hold back pushing Hop down onto the bed and fucking him raw.

But, he couldn’t do that. Despite his fantasies, knowing he had been rough with him in the past, Leon couldn’t do that to him anymore. So, with those thoughts in mind, he leaned up, propping Hop up by his thigh as he did so. His brother let out a small gasp below him, his face still covered, and Leon snorted through his nose at it. He brought himself up from his knees until he was standing, hovering back over Hop until he pushed himself forward enough that the tip of his erection was placed right at Hop’s entrance.

“Don’t do that, Hop.” With a soft chuckle, he reached forward with his free hand, wrapping his fingers around Hop’s wrist and pulling his arm away, revealing his red face and making Leon frown at the fact his eyes were still slammed shut. At least he wasn’t crying, but he liked it when Hop watched him while he was fucked. “Look at me. Come on, I know you can do it. It’s not that hard.”

No movement from Hop, just a soft, rather strangled choke from the back of his throat when Leon thrusted the tip of his cock against him—not inside just yet.

“Hop?” Leaning over once more, Leon dragged his knuckles along the length of Hop’s face, feeling the burn against his skin when he did so. Hop’s face was redder than ever, almost all the way down to his neck, but the heat gushing forth was obvious, and Leon couldn’t help but smile at it. So bashful. So embarrassed, even now, but it was so cute too. “Please look at me.”

At first, he didn’t think Hop would comply, as he continued gritting his teeth and shuddered below him, but just when he opened his mouth to ask him again, Hop’s eyes slowly drew open, his gaze focused on the ceiling, but that was good enough for now. Smiling at him, Leon took his hand and cupped his cheek, giving him a little pinch and enjoying the way the heat gushed from him when he did that.

“Thank you. You’re doing such a good job, Hop.” Every bit of positive reinforcement mattered, and Leon would take his time, be as patient as possible when it came to this until Hop was completely comfortable with it. “I’m about to put it in, okay?”

Hop didn’t answer, but made a small nod which was all the confirmation Leon needed before he gripped hold of his thigh again, hoisting him up where he was sure he had a good angle to work with, and pushed into him.

A gurgled, strangled choke came from Hop, and he slammed his eyes shut, gritting his teeth when he did so. It shouldn’t have hurt him, but maybe he was just uncomfortable with the feeling. It had been awhile since Leon had sex with him, after all. Maybe he had forgotten what he felt like.

Either way, Leon took a moment to push about half his length into him, some of the ache on his end disappearing as he indulged, and he couldn’t help but moan at the feeling of being inside of him like this. It never failed that anytime he got to fuck him like this, Leon was always amazed how _good_ he felt. With his heat encased around him, Leon was in heaven, and he blanched a bit as he fought to compose himself and not get rough like he wanted.

“Oh H- _Hop_ …” Leon choked on a gasp as he fought to hold himself back. His brother was still cringing below him, and he couldn’t afford to get too rough, lest he end up hurting him. That was the last thing he wanted to do, but as he fought to keep control of himself, he took a moment to prop Hop up by both legs, until he wrapped both his arms up under his knees to keep him steady. It helped him to reach, but he doubted Hop was all that comfortable being bent in half like this, but at least he was on his back. It was easier for both of them when he fucked him on his hands and knees, but Leon _liked_ seeing his face. He wanted to see every change in his expression, every little quiver of his mouth, every twitch in his eyebrows.

Shit like that drove him insane to see how his brother reacted below him. And this was no exception, even though Hop was cringing, Leon could see the way he pressed his teeth together, his eyes remained open, but he looked off into the distance, avoiding eye contact with him, but that was okay. Leon wouldn’t pressure him to look right at him. At least not yet anyway.

Slowly, he pulled out, forcing himself to keep calm and steady while he took his time to let Hop get used to him again. As long as he spent preparing him, he doubted it was all that painful, but he didn’t want Hop to associate this with pain. This was supposed to feel good, and Leon would take as long as it took for it to feel good on Hop’s end. He wanted his brother to know there wasn’t anything scary about sex, that Leon could make him feel good, and in time, he could learn to enjoy himself with what Leon did to him.

It would be nice if Hop ever came around, and Leon often daydreamed about fantasies in which Hop came to him first, begging him for it, climbing into his lap to grind on his crotch in anticipation. That was such a far off dream in his mind, but with how Leon had managed to coax his brother into lying back much like he was now, maybe it wasn’t as much of a fantasy as it used to be. It was nice to think of at least.

As he moved slow at first, making sure Hop quieted below him, pretty sure he was already used to the feeling of him, Leon picked up his pace, not rough, but enough to thrust into him that Hop rocked back underneath him. Taking the hands he had wrapped around his legs, he continued to hold onto him, being mindful not to dig his nails into Hop and hurt him as he kept steady, pulling him back with every thrust he made to ensure Hop remained in this position with him. It was a bit taxing on his end with the way he had Hop lying flat on the bed, legs pulled up and back as Leon thrusted into him from the edge, but it gave him the most wonderful view of his face. Even as Hop stared up at the ceiling, hands clutching under him to grab fistfuls of the blankets below as Leon fucked him, he enjoyed way too much the expression on his face.

It was strained, though not cringing exactly, but the way his brow furrowed, like Hop was in deep concentration, Leon had to wonder if he was feeling any sort of pleasure from this. After all, he’d managed to get him off in the past on just his cock alone, but Leon was curious to know if he could get him there again. But, with how much he ached for his own orgasm to peak, he doubted he could last long enough to do that to him.

So for now, he reached underneath Hop’s knee, pulling his leg back until he had his calf sitting over his shoulder, his brother bucking under him as he thrusted, and gripped hold of his cock. Hop let out a gasp, though the breathy way it escaped through his teeth gave Leon the impression he was enjoying himself. Maybe a bit too much. But, it wasn’t like he was complaining. Not able to hide his grin, Leon gently stroked him in time with his thrusts, causing Hop to grip hold of the blankets even tighter, until the color drained from his knuckles, and he gritted his teeth and thinned his mouth when Leon could just barely make out the moans he was trying to swallow.

“Let me hear you. Come on, you can be as loud as you want, Hop. I don’t mind.” Another thrust, a bit more rough than before, and Hop choked on a moan when Leon pumped him in time with his movements. Leon had been very generous when he lubed himself, and the wet sounds it created each time he thrust back and forth would have made him laugh any other time, but he was too focused on watching Hop. Even without his brother looking directly at him, he couldn’t get enough of his face. The way his blush coated his cheeks, reddening all the way to the tips of his ears, his lidded eyes as he stared up at the ceiling, the way—that way Leon didn’t think he even realized he would bite his bottom lip—and _fuck_ , that turned him on.

Grunting, Leon’s orgasm was creeping, but there was no way he would come before he got Hop off too. It was getting more difficult as he thrust back and forth, his movement increased until he was just short of moving erratically with no rhythm whatsoever, but he kept at it, smiling when Hop grew hard in his hands. He couldn’t help but grip him tighter, trying not to squeeze so hard that he hurt him, but with everything happening the way it was, it was getting more difficult for Leon to control himself. As he picked up speed, rocking Hop below him, his brother completely erect as he pumped him, moaning in time with each thrust he made, Leon was losing it fast.

“You like it? You like the feeling of me inside you?” Leaning over as far as he could without breaking his rhythm, Leon released Hop’s cock to grip hold of his chin instead, pulling his face up to him. “Look at me when I fuck you. I want you to see how much you enjoy it.”

Without protest, only silent obedience, Hop’s gaze moved from off in the distance straight into Leon’s own eyes, and he smiled at him.

“I love you, Hop.” There was absolutely no response from his brother, only a hollow stare as he rocked into him over and over. Leon wanted to kiss him so bad, but he couldn’t quite reach him unless he wanted to bend Hop all the way over. It wouldn’t feel very good for either one of them if he stopped just to get a quick kiss. And right now, his orgasm was creeping even closer, too close for Leon to attempt anything other than focusing on what he was doing.

Releasing Hop’s chin, his brother remained stationary—or as stationary as he could be as Leon rocked him back and forth, gripping hold of the underside of his knee to keep him from sliding across the bed. His leg that had been draped over Leon’s shoulder remained slumped against him, until he could feel the weight bearing down, but it didn’t slow his movements. Hop didn’t dare look away from him, and Leon, satisfied for now, reached back down to continue pumping hm, earning the most wonderful sound as Hop unintentionally let out a choked moan.

Leon loved— _fucking loved_ —when Hop moaned for him like that. Those beautiful array of sounds climbing out of his throat, all the noises and vocalizations he was never meant to hear Hop make, and yet here he was, listening to them, getting off to his moans more than he should have. Whether or not he meant to do it, Hop’s moans were filling the room, and they were music to Leon’s ears. With every thrust into him, every pump to Hop’s cock, every motion that rocked him back into the mattress, Leon soaked everything up like he was starving for it, like he couldn’t get enough of it. Everything was happening in fast motion, even as Hop spasmed below him, his moans turning harsh, almost a scream erupting out of his throat that Leon could hear him trying his hardest to hold back when he finally came—it was so beautiful.

“L-Lee…”

 _Fuck_ —Leon couldn’t hold it in anymore. Having Hop’s cum spray out into his palm as he came was one thing, but hearing his brother finally say something, and not just anything, but his brother’s fucking _nickname_ for him as he came, it drove Leon off the deep end. Gripping hold of his brother’s thigh, squeezing too hard, he hadn’t meant to, but fuck—Leon couldn’t help it when he thrusted into him all the way to the hilt, and sucked in air between his teeth as his orgasm finally engulfed him. His entire body spasmed as he fucked into Hop over and over, elated, absolutely swelling with happiness that Hop not only came from this, but called out his name.

It shouldn’t have made him so happy.

But it made his orgasm so much more intense. Leon never suspected simply hearing Hop choke out his name while riding out his orgasm would make him come so hard, but he released everything into him, gaining a bit of a more uncomfortable grunt from Hop as he did so.

Leon let go, pouring every bit of it into Hop, pouring all of his love for him, his affection, his sexual lust for him, every bit of it came out then, and he finally came down, releasing Hop’s cock and breathing, trying to remember to breathe and compose himself as he leaned over him. The high from orgasm was never long enough, even though it felt so amazing when he did it with Hop, it just never lasted long enough for Leon, but he stood hovered over Hop, resting inside of him as he came down, enjoying the way Hop was breathing equally hard below him.

The room was oddly quiet then, when it had been so alive with the ruckus, the panting, the moaning, it was all gone, save for their quieted breathing. As he slowly maneuvered Hop’s legs out from around him, Leon pulled out of him with a small _pop,_ a trail of his own cum leaking from Hop’s bottom and he couldn’t help but let out a tired, breathy laugh at it.

“Sorry. You always…” He gulped, panting as he composed himself. “Always get me so excited, Hop. I don’t mean to make a mess.” It wasn’t like he was sorry for it either, as he didn’t care that Hop always made him come like this. It was only proof how much he loved him after all.

Hop said nothing, only lay back against the bed, his face flushed, eyes lidded as he sat there in a daze. Leaning back up, Leon pulled away from Hop enough to bend over him, until he had both hands placed on either side of him, and he smiled, as Hop’s flushed face only compelled him all the more to lean in and kiss him.

He didn’t pull away, or react much, only opened his mouth as Leon went at him, dragging his tongue up through the edge of his bottom lip, trailing a line through the inside until he could feel Hop’s teeth in the way.

“Mmm— _Hop_.” That was all he had to say before Hop, as though some trigger word had been uttered instead of just his name, slacked his jaw, allowing Leon all the access he wanted. And did he go at him like a wild animal, shoving his tongue through his teeth, tasting Hop’s own tongue. Although he didn’t engage back with him, Leon didn’t really care, as long as he stayed compliant like this, lying there for him, keeping his mouth open for him. It didn’t matter how enthusiastic he was, but Leon couldn’t help to kiss him like this.

Everything about Hop drove him fucking _crazy_. Leon could sit here all day long, he really could, and kiss him, hold him, touch him all over. Leon loved him so much, nothing else mattered as long as he was with Hop.

As he pulled away from him, enjoying the taste of Hop lingering on his tongue, his own face gushed with heat as he gazed down at him, wishing Hop would look into his eyes like he had before. “Did you like it, Hop?”

His brother’s eyes glazed, but he said nothing.

Letting out a laugh through his nose, Leon reached behind him, cupping the back of his head, and pulling him into the crook of his neck. Hop didn’t return the hug, but he didn’t particularly mind right now. He was still riding high from sex, and not a lot could damper his mood, not even Hop’s attitude or lack thereof.

Pulling them both up off the bed, Leon dragged Hop to the floor with him where he stumbled for a moment, but just as quickly, Leon pulled him close again, nuzzling his face into the top of his hair. There was no resistance from his brother, which compelled Leon to pull him closer.

“I love you so much, Hop. I’ll say it a thousand times a day if I have to, but I love you more than anything.” If the warmth in his chest was anything to go off of, then it must have been true. Leon had never been more sure of anything in his life, and he didn’t know any other way to display this out for Hop to see, to show him he really meant it when he told him he was loved.

They stayed like that for a bit, maybe a bit too long as Leon couldn’t help to cuddle him, but eventually he let go, pulling back and giving Hop another smile even when he held his head low.

“Why don’t you go wash up? I’ll have a snack waiting for you when you’re done.”

A solemn nod from Hop, but he wasted no time in gathering some clothes from his dresser and disappearing across the hall to the bathroom. In the time it took Hop to cross the hall and shut himself in the bathroom, the shower running not long after, Leon had fixed himself back in his pants, taking a moment too long for his liking to gather himself. Fucking Hop never exerted him like this, but he went at him _hard_ after holding back for an entire week. All his pent up lust exploded out, and he was a bit embarrassed how much he came, but also happy that Hop could even do that to him in the first place. After all, his love for Hop shouldn’t have been anything to be ashamed about. Maybe he’d felt guilty about it before, but now—

Leon could feel his own expression soften as he smiled.

Now, he knew without a doubt how in love with Hop he was. How much he meant to him, how much Leon just wanted him to be happy.

But.

As he composed himself, rising to his full height, his clothes fixed back into place, he tore Hop’s bedsheets off the mattress, gathering his discarded clothes off the floor along with them before he passed by his bedroom door, catching sight of the deadbolt out of the corner of his eye. That tiny little guilty feeling surfaced every once in awhile when he set eyes on that thing. Even though he’d been the one to install it, coupled with the chain, he hated it. He hated that he kept Hop locked up all day long while he was at work. He hated that his brother felt like a prisoner in a place he was supposed to call home. He hated how these four walls were all Hop had to look forward to when he woke up in the mornings.

This wasn’t the kind of life Leon wanted for him. Hop should’ve been out and about, exploring Wyndon with a giant smile on his face, excited to see the sights and go to the stadium to watch matches when they happened. His life shouldn’t have consisted of four walls, a television, a video game console, and a plush toy.

This wasn’t what Leon planned. This wasn’t how things were supposed to happen. Hop was supposed to enjoy living here, realize life with Leon was much better than living at home, and accept Leon’s love along with the fact that this was his new home. But now.

Leon clutched the sheets in his fist as he pooled them into the wash, dumping soap and fabric softener in with it before switching the machine. He sighed. Now, he had barred Hop to one room for the majority of his week, only letting him out when he’d return home, or during the weekends where they could sleep together. Any other time, he was locked up, because Leon was too terrified of him wrenching open that front door and running away from him.

Maybe Hop already knew he had nowhere to go, nobody to turn to, but the fact he would rather put himself out there on the streets than stay with Leon tore at his insides in the most horrible way. He didn’t want his brother to hate living with him. He didn’t want him to flinch at his touch, cringe every time Leon fucked him, and he didn’t want him obeying him like a dog either. The past two weeks all Hop had done was everything Leon asked of him, but he never realized how much he would come to hate that. At first, he could appreciate Hop’s compliance, because he saw it as his brother finally listening to him and giving in. It was nice having Hop go along with whatever Leon asked of him, even if it was sex, Hop had stopped fighting him like he usually did, barely giving him so much as a dirty look before he gave in.

But, the longer the days turned to weeks, the more Leon was seeing how it affected him. Hop, despite how he slept all day, was growing dark circles under his eyes. Sometimes Leon would come home and it looked like he’d done nothing but cried all day, his eyes swollen, bloodshot, but no matter each time he tried to console him, Hop never spoke much, only ensured he was fine. Nothing to worry about.

There was no hiding the lack of life Hop was displaying. Leon was slowly dragging him down, keeping him locked up like this, but he wanted to let him out, he really did. He hated this. He hated doing this to his brother when he loved him so much and only wanted him to enjoy his life here.

But, he didn’t want Hop to run away. Losing him was Leon’s greatest fear, and he would die if something were to happen to him. He couldn’t live with himself if Hop escaped, only for something horrible to happen to him, if he ran away where Leon couldn’t find him, got so far out of reach he had no hope of knowing what happened to him. What the hell was he supposed to do if the love of his life ever abandoned him?

It would kill him.

Leon gripped the edge of the washing machine, trying to break his thoughts away from things like that. It only depressed him when he got this way, when he dwelled on what ifs and the possibilities of what could go wrong. It seemed like _everything_ could go wrong, but he didn’t know what to do. He still didn’t trust Hop to stay here by himself, nor did he trust him to keep his mouth shut if he decided to take him to work with him. It was safer than keeping him here, as he would have more of a chance to monitor him, but he still wasn’t ready to cross that bridge just yet.

For now, he tore himself away from the laundry room, opening the door of the pantry and pulled out a bag of fudge cookies. He’d told Hop he’d have a snack waiting for him, and he couldn’t help to spoil him with sweets. Hop had only recently started gaining weight, though not much, but enough Leon could no longer feel his bones poking him as much when he held onto him. It made him so relieved and happy to see his brother eating so well like this.

That was one positive to coming to Wyndon with him. It also made him angry, because for Hop to get that way in the first place meant Mum was either not paying attention to what he ate, or ignored it. At least Leon wanted to think he had done something good for Hop’s health by making sure he was well fed.

While he was lost in his thoughts, having grabbed a few cookies himself at some point to snack, he heard the shower turn off in the bathroom, noticing just now Hop had been bathing for almost an hour straight. It wasn’t unusual for his brother to take long drawn out showers, but this one was particularly long. Not that he blamed him. If Hop wanted to, he didn’t care if he hogged the shower like that. It wasn’t like Leon had to worry about running out of hot water anytime soon.

When the door flew open, steam piling out into the hallway, he saw the form of Hop emerge, fully clothed in a pair of sweatpants and an oversized T-shirt. Leon wasn’t even sure if it was one of his or not, but he certainly hoped so. Seeing Hop wear his clothes made a tingling feeling draw up in his stomach, and he smiled at him as Hop made his way down the hall to the kitchen table. Upon seating, Leon handed him the bag of cookies.

“Here you go. Eat all you want.”

Gingerly, Hop took hold of the bag, reaching down and grabbing a cookie with a bit of hesitance as if it would suddenly reach up to bite him, but he began munching soon enough, Leon leaning back in his chair as he glanced over at the telly. He’d turned it on at some point to catch the weather, but apart from a little snow, there wasn’t much to look forward to. No sunshine, but no storms either. Just moderate weather. He had to sigh. It was almost a parallel to how life was currently going right now.

Stagnant. Leon felt he was neither making progress with Hop nor stepping back either. They were stuck in limbo and had been for the past few weeks where all he did was go to work, come home, let Hop out of his room, lather, rinse, repeat.

This routine was starting to grate on his nerves, but before he could open his mouth and say what was on his mind, a loud buzzing came from the counter. Whipping his head around, Leon caught sight of his phone he’d placed down coming to life as it rang, and he stood from his seat, already knowing who it was without having to look at his screen.

“Hello?” He hadn’t meant for his voice to come out that way, like he was annoyed or at least displeased, but he was at met with a cheerful reply from the other end.

“Morning, champ! Got some time today?”

Leon leaned against the counter. Every time Raihan called or texted him wanting to hang out, he had blown him off, or made up some excuse for why they couldn’t, as he didn’t want his friend seeing the locks he’d installed on Hop’s door. Even though he could probably take everything off with a bit of work, he was too lazy to go through the trouble simply to hang out with Raihan for a few hours.

“Can’t today.”

“Boo. You’ve been saying that for almost three weeks.”

“Well, it’s not been a good time.” Okay, _now_ he was sounding irritated. He knew damn well he’d been avoiding Raihan for almost three weeks, but it wasn’t a lie that it was not at all a good time to be goofing off and getting drunk with him. Not when Leon was constantly paranoid Hop was going to snap and run off on him.

“What’s going on with you, champ? Why you being such a recluse?”

“I’m not being a recluse, Rai, it hasn’t been a good few weeks, okay?”

“The kid okay?”

A quick glance off to the side where Leon could see Hop still munching on his cookies.

“He’s fine.”

There was a bout of silence on the other end where Leon had to pull the phone away from his face to check and see if he was still on the line. “Rai?”

Immediately, his friend sucked in before letting out a drawn out breath. “Talk to me, champ. What’s been going on?”

Leon mimicked his sigh, though with a definite hint of annoyance. “None of your business. It’s a personal matter, just leave it at that.”

“Okay, that’s fair, that’s totally fair. I’m just worried about you is all.”

“I know you are. Everything’s fine, I promise. Me and Hop are just…” He trailed off, stealing one more glance at his brother who he could see had stopped eating and was now gazing off at the telly in the distance, his expression vacant as ever. “…we’re just dealing with some stuff right now. Family stuff. It’ll be alright though, we’re getting through it. Slowly.” Though, Leon wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince at this point by saying that.

“Whatever you say. I do miss you though. We haven’t hung out in forever. I miss that dumb face of yours.”

Leon snorted as he leaned back into the counter, allowing his bunched shoulders to unravel when he relaxed a bit. “I…miss you too.” Though, nothing compared to how much he missed Hop when he had to leave during the week. Nothing made him feel emptier, lonelier, more on edge than being away from his brother, knowing he was locked up in his room all day long.

“I won’t pressure you to tell me anything, but I’m here for you, if you ever need me.”

A small smile curled on his mouth. Raihan acted like such a dumbass on the norm that Leon often forgot, he _was_ his best friend. He could rely on him, even if he forgot it. Raihan cared about him, he knew that, it was just—Leon had to prioritize Hop right now. Raihan may have been his best friend, but he was second place when Hop was involved.

“Thanks. I appreciate it.”

“Alright, champ. Let me know when things settle down and you’re ready to have some fun.”

“I will, don’t worry.”

“See ya.” With that, Raihan hung up, never one to bother waiting for Leon to return the goodbye, but he didn’t feel bothered by it. As he placed his phone back on the counter, Leon let out a tired sigh before reaching up to rub the sides of his temples.

With a glance back at Hop, his brother was still seated at the table, having not moved once during that entire exchange, his gaze still fixed to the telly as it droned on in the background. It was the damn weather station for fuck’s sake, but Hop appeared to only be watching for the sake of watching, no intent whatsoever. He couldn’t have possibly been _that_ interested in the weather.

Well, Leon had wanted to sit and talk with him about possibly changing the living arrangement up, though to what, he wasn’t even sure himself. But, he was hoping they could talk together and come up with a solution that benefited the both of them. At least something better than keeping Hop locked up in one room all day long, anything had to be better than that.

For now, Leon leaned off the counter, approaching Hop who didn’t acknowledge him when he stood by his side. He placed a hand on his shoulder, hating how tired his brother looked. All he did was sleep, and yet he always looked exhausted.

“Did you get enough to eat?”

A slow nod.

Leon bit his lip, momentarily glancing over at the telly before back at Hop. “You wanna watch something? We could watch a movie if you want.”

Another nod, though not as slow as before.

“Okay. What did you want to watch?”

This time, he got a shrug. Though better than nothing, it made him frown and he gripped Hop’s shoulder a bit tighter.

“Come on, Hop. Surely there’s something you’re interested in watching? Something funny? A horror movie? We can watch whatever you want.”

Lifting his head, Hop opened and closed his mouth several times, as though fighting for what to say, before he finally spoke. “…doesn’t matter.”

Leon rolled his eyes. “No. Come on, Hop, you’re making this way more difficult than it has to be. Just pick something.”

“…doesn’t matter.”

Letting out a huff, Leon released his shoulder, standing up straight before he frowned down at him. “Fine, if there’s nothing you want to do, I guess I can put you back in your room for the rest of the day and—”

At that, Leon didn’t expect for Hop to reach out then, nabbing a fistful of his sleeve, squeezing as he shot his head up, eyes wide, his lip quivering. It threw him off, especially being grabbed like that, but he didn’t expect it when Hop finally opened his mouth and spoke in a full sentence, possibly the first real sentence in two weeks. “N-no…I’m sorry.” He bit his lip before continuing. “I-I wanna watch something. I’ll watch whatever you want me to.”

With his brother clinging to his sleeve like this, Leon let out a sigh before reaching up to gently grab hold of his wrist as Hop began to tremble below him. “This is supposed to be something _you_ want, Hop. That’s why I asked you. It’s a simple question.”

“…I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. I really don’t mind what you pick. It could be cartoons for all I care.” He tried to hold him back in a reassuring manner, dragging the pad of his thumb across Hop’s wrist as he continued to cling onto him like Leon would blow away in the wind. Hop averted his gaze off to some random spot on the floor, and Leon thought he might not say anything else, as this was the most he’d gotten Hop to talk to him in days, and it was only when he threatened him with locking him back up did he get any type of reaction from him.

He hated it. He hated how the only way to snap Hop out of it was to use force. Leon didn’t _want_ to force him, but Hop gave him no choice sometimes. A little push for Hop was sometimes a nasty shove in the right direction, but Leon just wished he wouldn’t make things so difficult like he did. A simple question like this turned into a bigger ordeal than it needed to be.

But finally, Hop nodded, and opened his mouth. “A…c-can we…can we watch something nice?”

Leon blinked. “What do you mean by ‘nice’?”

“Like…” He looked up then, Leon noticing the dark patches under his eyes still present, almost becoming commonplace nowadays. “Happy?”

It was like pulling teeth trying to get Hop to clarify anything for him, but Leon held onto his patience, trying not to let his annoyances spill out where he took it out on Hop. He didn’t deserve that. “The only happy thing I can think of is a kids movie.”

“That’s fine.”

He couldn’t help but laugh through his nose, reaching out to ruffle Hop’s hair when he did so. “You aren’t too old for that type of thing?” The blush that grew in Hop’s cheeks when he touched him shouldn’t have excited Leon the way it did, but he couldn’t help but think how adorable his little brother was. Standing here, dressed in clothes too big for him, wanting to watch a children’s movie with him. He really did seem like a child, but Leon quickly threw that thought down the drain. Best not to catch himself going in that direction anymore.

Hop didn’t answer, but his face gushed red when Leon laughed at him, and he finally released his sleeve as Leon strode over to the sofa, picking up the remote when he did so. “Cartoons it is, then. Come on.” After plopping down on the sofa, he pat the spot next to him, urging Hop to come and join him.

He stood by the table for a few seconds, hesitant to move, but eventually he crossed the room, settling down on the cushion next to Leon who wasted no time wrapping his arm around him and pulling him close.

“You smell good.” Maybe that was a strange thing to say, but now that Hop was right up against him, Leon was suffocated by the scent of his shampoo. He had been buying him his own products the past couple of weeks, and while he couldn’t find any of the shampoo Hop normally washed with, like the one that smelled of sugar, he found a good enough substitute. It was more a whipped cream kind of smell, but it was close enough, and Leon inhaled him every chance he got, enjoying it way too much. Buying him something like that had benefited Leon way more than it ever did Hop.

Of course, Hop didn’t respond, but tensed below him when Leon pulled him close, but he ignored it. For now, he flipped the station, settling down and slouching back into the sofa. He wished Hop would do the same, but maybe in time he would get tired of being so uptight and begin to lean into Leon a bit more.

But for now.

The apartment was soon filled with the over the top sound effects and music as Leon eventually found a random cartoon for them to watch. It was strange to sit here with his brother, arm wrapped around his shoulder as he held him close, Hop resisting below him, but eventually giving up and allowing Leon to hold him like this before he melted into the spot next to him. They hadn’t watched anything like this since they were little kids, but it was times like these Leon thought back to when they were simply brothers.

Just brothers who argued, brothers who played together, brothers who were selfish and didn’t want to share toys, who got scared in the middle of the night and came to each other for comfort. There were plenty of nights they stayed up late, huddled under a blanket and watched a scary movie they weren’t supposed to be watching, Hop clinging to him when he got too scared and Leon pretending he was brave, when he actually wasn’t. But, Leon couldn’t remember the last time they ever sat and did anything like this together.

The closest he could remember was when he and Hop ate at the café the week he stayed at home. Nothing was strained then. Hop was still lively, excitable and couldn’t wait to hang out with Leon while he stayed down with them. Back then, his smile was brighter than the sun, his eyes sparkling with life that could light up the entire room when Hop so much as strode by. It was something Leon missed dearly, he missed those times Hop was happy, when Hop still thought the world of him, when life was more carefree, and his brother wasn’t—

Wasn’t…

Leon pulled him closer, until Hop’s head was almost resting on his shoulder, and he clung to him.

They weren’t just brothers anymore. Leon had done something taboo, he had taken something away from Hop that was never meant for him, but he took it anyway. He had seen his brother at his most vulnerable, at his lowest, at his most exposed. Leon had heard his brother make sounds while he fucked him, sounds never meant for him. None of what he did with his brother was supposed to be _for him_. Kissing him, holding him, fucking him until Hop moaned his name when he came—

Leon was never supposed to fall in love with him. He was never supposed to breech that border from simply being Hop’s brother, to being his lover. It was looked down upon, it was something disgusting, it was something—

Something Leon didn’t regret. Not a single bit.

Hop may have still been uncomfortable with it simply for that reason, as he knew it would take time to get over the fact Leon was the one doing these intimate things with him, but he was prepared for that. But, Leon also knew he stopped caring a long time ago about how reprehensible what he did with Hop was seen. It didn’t matter. He loved him, he knew that he loved him, and he didn’t care that he destroyed what he once had with him.

Just because he destroyed their relationship as _only_ being brothers didn’t mean he couldn’t build a new one. He wanted Hop to love him back. He wanted his love so bad that it killed him everyday that he saw Hop deteriorate in this place. This wasn’t what he wanted for him. He never wanted Hop to go through this.

Leon held him tighter, no longer paying attention to the cartoons, but too lost in his thoughts.

He just…

He just wanted Hop to _love him_.

There had been an ache in his chest for the past two weeks, ever since the breakdown, ever since the day he locked Hop in his room, when his brother uttered those words to him, that he hated him, it tore at him. It haunted his sleep, it made Leon insane with a feeling he couldn’t even describe other than desperate. Desperate for Hop’s love, desperate for him to come around, desperate for him to see that Leon loved him so much and only wanted him to be happy.

But, Leon knew the truth.

If he had any hope at all of getting Hop to come around, he had to get him out of this place. He had to take all the money he had, find them somewhere they could be alone, but spacious enough Hop could have air to breathe, and get them the fuck out of Wyndon. Leon hoped if he got them their own place that Hop would start to feel more at home, no longer cooped up in the apartment, no longer jailed to a single room.

Maybe it would be good for the both of them to get away for awhile. At least, Leon wanted to imagine it would help them. He would give Hop a big bedroom, fill it with everything he wanted, he’d buy him the most expensive things he could possibly want if it would make him happy. Whatever Hop wanted, it didn’t matter, if it made him happy, Leon would buy it for him, if Leon had the power to give it to him, if he could give him _anything_.

If it would let him see Hop smile again, he would give him everything he could possibly give.

* * *

When he came to that evening, the first thing he became aware of was the fact it was dark. The sun had just begun to set, the last remnants of the orange glow beginning to dip lower and lower over the horizon, until Leon’s apartment was covered with long shadows. The telly droned on in front of them, some different movie than before playing, the sounds strangely muffled, but the flicker from the light casting even more elongated, moving shadows around the room.

He had fallen asleep, gotten way too comfortable curled up next to Hop like he had, and Leon had no idea how long he’d been out, but he blinked the grogginess from his eyes, trying to will his vision to focus. A quick glance at the clock showed him it was just pushing past six in the evening, and he went to move his arm to stretch, but when he felt the weight on top of his chest then, he froze, not believing he had almost forgotten that Hop was with him.

Not just with him, but his brother had fallen asleep too. From where he sat, Leon could hear his heavy breathing below him, but what really made a smile form on his face was the fact Hop had not only fallen asleep, but his head had dipped until either he fell lax from sleep and had fallen onto Leon’s chest, or maybe he laid it there on purpose, but the fact of the matter was Hop had fallen asleep with the side of his face pressed into Leon’s chest. He was leaned so far against him, putting about half his weight onto him that Leon could feel his mouth slacked up against him, feel his hot breath pour out every time he breathed.

As gently as he could so as not to rouse him, Leon took the arm he’d had draped across Hop’s shoulders and reached up, cupping the back of his head and ran his fingers through his short tufts of hair. Being so close like this, Leon could smell the scent of his shampoo even more, and it was overwhelming, but in the best kind of way possible. He didn’t mind being engulfed in that scent for the rest of his life. While he sat there, leaned back on the sofa, Hop practically lying on top of him, he couldn’t help the small chuckle that vibrated in the back of his throat.

While it was a bit sad he couldn’t seem to get Hop to do things like this while he was awake, that didn’t mean Leon would take this for granted by any means. He treasured moments like this, moments Hop was unaware just what he was doing, even if it was something as simple as having fallen asleep on him, Leon wanted to pretend it was intentional. Hop had laid his head down on him at some point through the movie, gotten too comfortable, and fell asleep.

With the telly still playing something quiet in the background, the darkness of the apartment only suppressed by the flickering of the television, Hop having laid against him as he slept and snored quietly while Leon stroked his hair, it was easy to get comfortable and put thoughts of getting up in the back of his head. Leon didn’t need to be screwing up his sleeping schedule by napping during the day like this, but it was still the weekend, and he could make it up tomorrow if he wanted. As much as he wanted to melt back down into the sofa, close his eyes, and lose himself in the scent of whipped cream, Hop’s warmth, and the lull of the apartment, Leon knew he had to get up and start making supper. And there was still the fact he forgot to put Hop’s things in the dryer before.

As much as he hated to, he leaned up, causing Hop to stir a bit under him, but he merely shifted, moved his head a bit, before letting out a small breath. Leon had to laugh at him. Ever the heavy sleeper. At least that part of his brother hadn’t changed since living with him.

“Hey,” he called out to him, tangling his fingers through his hair as he pet him. “It’s time to wake up. You’ll have trouble sleeping tonight at this rate.”

A small moan underneath him, but he felt Hop twitch against him, though he merely shuffled a bit before letting out a small snore as a response.

Ugh, why did he have to be so adorable like this? Why did he have to get Leon so comfortable where he didn’t want to move and just stay here forever like this? It wasn’t fair. There was nothing Leon wanted to do more than go back to sleep, but he couldn’t. So, instead of trying to coax him into waking, Leon pushed himself up off the sofa, finally stirring Hop with the movement.

His brother awoke, eyes lidded from sleep, and he blinked in confusion as he rose his head, wiping his eyes and yawning as he did so.

“Morning, sleepyhead.” Leon ruffled his hair, smiling when Hop let out another small yawn. “Looks like we both passed out.” Moving out from around Hop, Leon stood then, popping his back when he did so before glancing back down at Hop who was still coming to from sleep. “You hungry? Anything special you want to eat?”

A slow shake of his head—that would be a no.

Leon sighed, not expecting him to give him an answer in the first place, but it wouldn’t hurt to at least try and get Hop to talk to him again. He hated this silent treatment, but he hated even more the fact Hop only gave in and spoke when he had to resort to threatening him with something, like locking him back in his room.

Speaking of which.

There was still the matter of Hop’s current arrangement they needed to discuss. It had only been a couple of weeks he had basically cemented his brother to living in his room, because he still didn’t trust him not to run off while Leon was away, but maybe if he could take him to work, his brother wouldn’t feel so trapped all day long. Plus, they would get to spend more time together at the tower, and that elated Leon more than it should have. A permanent bring your brother to work day, as it was. He had to laugh at silly thoughts like that, but with that hovering in the back of his mind, he made his way to the kitchen and began rummaging around in the cabinets for something to cook.

Hop had slouched against the sofa while Leon worked and he stole glances across the room every once in awhile to see his brother had picked up the remote and began channel surfing. It was strange to see Hop do anything of his own accord nowadays, but something Leon tried to encourage him to do. It was one thing for his brother to obey without question, something that ate at Leon’s conscious each time he looked to him for the okay to do so much as take a shower, but it was another for him to just _listen_ to him. Trust that Leon knew what he was talking about and that he knew what was best for him.

That’s all he wanted from him. To just listen. It didn’t mean Hop had to turn submissive about every little thing, but Leon wanted him to take the initiative. This place was supposed to be his home, and he shouldn’t have to ask Leon permission to do anything around here.

Leon settled on making simple packaged curry for them. It wasn’t grand nor as good as the restaurant’s down the street was, but it was a meal and that’s all that mattered. While he set up water to boil, Leon turned the heat down as low as it could possibly go without hampering the actual cooking, and set everything to simmer for a bit. Normally he wouldn’t bother cooking something this slow, but he wanted to talk to Hop as soon as possible.

While the food cooked atop the stove, Leon rounded the counter before crossing the room to stop by the sofa where Hop was currently seated, his knees bunched up to his chin as he watched some advertisement on discounted Pokémon center products.

“Hop.” He moved around him to settle down on the cushion, his weight causing Hop to shift a little from where he sat. “Let’s talk.”

He didn’t immediately respond, not that Leon expected him to, but he did lower his knees from his chin until he sat more cross-legged, his focus still being on the telly. With one quick motion, Leon lifted the remote before flicking the telly off. Now his brother’s gaze was only fixed on the black screen, still not looking at him.

“Hop,” he said again, now he himself turning his gaze down to the carpet before back up at his brother. It shouldn’t have been this difficult to find words, but here he was, struggling to come up with the right things to say. “I’ve been thinking lately. I’m sure I don’t need to convince you, but I’m pretty positive you’re tired of being locked up in your room all day, yeah?”

To his surprise, Hop turned, his gaze meeting Leon and it was strange that he felt intimidated by his brother’s stare in that moment. Nothing about Hop was intimidating, but the way he looked at him then, Leon couldn’t help but swallow, fighting to avert his gaze and let Hop know he was unsettling him. It wasn’t so much his stare but just—the empty way he looked, with shadows under his eyes like he hadn’t gotten rest in ages. He looked so tired. So worn down, somehow so sickly-looking despite being well-fed and cared for.

And Leon didn’t want to admit he felt guilty he was the cause of it. Even though he tried to argue with himself Hop was to blame too, it didn’t stave off those ugly emotions he felt rear their head at the most inopportune times.

“So…” Leon bit his lip, trying not to let Hop’s blank stare get to him. _Just smile_. Just once, _please_. A little smile for him, that’s all Leon wanted. “I-I was thinking. How would you like to come to work with me?”

Hop perked up then, though not by much, but Leon could tell he’d peaked his interest.

“You wouldn’t be locked up all day. You can bring your Switch if you want and play games, but it would be better than staying cooped up in your room all day, right?” Though, he knew he was basically trading one prison for another. If he took Hop to work with him, he would still have to keep a close eye on him, keep him in his office and make sure he didn’t run. It was risky, but Leon just wanted him to have a change of scenery at least. Something other than the four white walls of his bedroom.

Then, Hop opened his mouth, his voice low, but Leon was surprised to hear him speak at all in the first place. “Why can’t…why can’t you just unlock my door during the day?”

His throat tightened, and he didn’t mean to, but he frowned, because Hop knew the answer to that. What was the point in even asking him? “Because I don’t trust you.”

“I won’t run.”

He almost laughed at how disingenuous he sounded, but Leon bit it back, instead arching his eyebrows at him. “I seriously doubt that, Hop.”

“No _really_.” And he lifted his head, bit by bit, until he had lowered his knees down to the sofa and was in a hunched over seating position, his gaze never leaving Leon’s. “I promise I won’t.”

“As much as I’d love to believe you, you’ve broken promises before in the past.” Leon leaned into him then, not meaning to sneer at him when he did so, causing Hop to draw back and keep the distance between them. His brother was still uncomfortable when he got too close and Leon knew he was invading his personal space, but he didn’t care. “Remember when I gave you a week to prepare before coming up here with me? Didn’t that little fiasco turn into two weeks? Didn’t you just _happen_ to come down with some coincidental illness in order to get yourself another week? Then what happened, Hop?”

“Stop.” His brother lowered his gaze, Leon only drawing away from him when he saw tears shine in his eyes. He didn’t want to upset him, but he’d made his point clear enough.

“I’m just saying you haven’t proven yourself very trustworthy when it comes to things like this.”

It was oddly quiet in the apartment then, the only sound being the occasional hiss of the stove as steam began to rise from the pot of water Leon had left there, and Hop’s quieted breathing as he sat staring off at some random fold in the couch.

Letting out a sigh, Leon leaned back. “But.” He shuffled in his seat, turning so that he could face Hop as he drew one knee up on the couch with him. “I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt.”

Hop drew his face up, and for a moment, Leon thought he saw the faintest hints of hope flash across, and he smiled.

“We’ll take it slow, but there’s something you have to do for me first. So I’ll know you’re serious about it and that I can trust you.”

The color drained from Hop’s face, and that look of fear swallowed him up until Leon could see it plain as day all over his face. He didn’t have to look so _scared_ for Pete’s sake. But, slowly, his lip quivering, Hop opened his mouth. “Wh…what.” And he couldn’t even be bothered to mutter it as a question.

Leon smiled before he reached forward, cupping Hop’s cheek in his palm as he dragged his hand down his face. “I want you to kiss me.”

That little flicker of confusion that crossed his face then shouldn’t have been as adorable as it was, but Leon couldn’t help the laugh that escaped through his nose at it. Hop pinched his eyebrows, momentarily glancing off to the side before back up at him. “You…kiss me all the time though.”

“Don’t misunderstand, Hop.” Removing his hand from his face, Leon leaned back then, his hands placed behind him to keep himself propped up. “It’s exactly what I mean. I want _you_ —you have to do it—I want you to lean over here and kiss me first.”

“No.” The reply was instant.

Leon shrugged. “Fine. But, if you won’t even put in the effort, then I guess I can’t help you. I might just stop coming home for lunch altogether and you’ll be left alone even more. But, that’s up to you.” This was cruel saying things like that to him, but Leon had had _enough_. If it took pushing Hop to get him to engage, then so be it.

His brother went rigid then, his breathing stilted, his posture once more curling inward as his shoulders bunched up, and Leon watched, with a bit too much satisfaction, as his cheeks grew red. As cute as it was that his brother was so shy about this kind of thing, Leon was running out of patience. Too long had he been the one to lead his hands, pull Hop into him when he wanted affection. The first steps of beginning to trust him again would be Hop’s call. If he could get him to engage, just a little, just put forth one ounce of effort into this, then Leon would consider—by no means take the lock off right this second—but at least _consider_ giving him more freedom.

“Well?” He leaned back, propped up by his arms as he smiled at his brother. “I’m waiting.”

Hop was frozen, Leon not even sure if he was breathing anymore as he sat there, his hands having come to the front of his sweatpants at some point where he squeezed the fabric between his fingers. He squeezed so long that his arms began to shake, and Leon was surprised he couldn’t see the sweat beading his forehead. His face was on fire, even from where Leon sat, still propped back, waiting for him to make a move, he could tell his face was gushing heat, but he didn’t hold back his smile as he watched him no doubt at war with himself over what to do.

“Come on, Hop, it’s just a kiss. And like you said, I kiss you all the time.” He laughed through his nose. “It’s not that big a deal, right?”

Hop clenched his pants in his fist once more before he swallowed, not looking at Leon before he finally opened his mouth. “…okay.”

Surprised by his response, but definitely not complaining, Leon’s smile widened as he pulled himself up then, sitting up straight until he had his arms folded in his lap. He leaned forward, maybe a bit too eager, but enjoying the way Hop removed his hands from his pants only to twiddle his fingers together nervously. It was so cute, and he was adorable as he sat there, face gushing heat, red all the way to the tips of his ears.

Leon couldn’t help but want to hold him tight and squeeze, but he settled for saying, “Don’t be shy. I won’t bite.”

He waited. And waited. And waited some more as Hop made no moves to actually lean in and kiss him, and he was getting impatient. The hiss from the stove only reminded him dinner was slowly cooking, but one reason he set the heat so low was because he doubted Hop would come around all that fast, and he was right. But still, this was taking too long, and he let out a sigh.

As much as it pained him to say this, he wanted to try his best to prove to Hop that everything was okay. With a bit of disappointment, he finally settled on a compromise. “If you want to close your eyes so you don’t have to look at me, you can.”

Hop nodded, not replying, but it seemed to have put more skip in his step, as he straightened up then, his gaze still avoiding Leon’s but he moved then, his face ablaze with heat, and Leon couldn’t help the gasp he sucked in as Hop slowly crawled close to him. Pulling his knees up with him, he sat on his legs, until he was almost leveled with Leon’s face, but he was so close, and having Hop be the one to move into him like this made Leon blush. He wasn’t used to Hop doing this, even though he was bargaining with him to do this in the first place, it still hit a different way than when he was the one instigating it.

Slowly, Hop drew up, leaning up enough on his knees that he leveled with Leon’s face, and he leaned forward, until Leon was sure he could feel the heat pouring from him by this point, but his heart was pounding in anticipation, the fact Hop was about to kiss him first was about to drive him crazy, and he waited. With his heart thumping in his ears, Leon’s cheeks feeling heated, Hop slammed his eyes shut before quickly giving him the fastest peck on the mouth Leon ever felt.

It was adorable that he pulled away so fast, enough to the point Leon let out a laugh at it, but Hop barely even brushed his lips against his, and he wasn’t about to let that slide. “What was _that_?”

Hop opened his eyes, Leon not able to help but laugh at him when he looked so taken aback. Surely he didn’t think he could get by with that of all things? It was barely a kiss. His brother’s lip quivered then, and he fumbled for what to say before finally speaking. “Y-you…you said to kiss you.”

“That’s right. I said _kiss_ , not brush your skin cells against mine for a quarter of a second.”

His face only gushed heat, Leon still laughing at him. He couldn’t help it. For Hop to think that’s what a kiss was, he had to tease him about it, he just couldn’t help himself.

“Come on, try again. You can do better than that.”

Letting out a small huff of air, he could tell Hop was getting frustrated, but Leon had all the time in the world to sit here with him until he gave him a proper kiss.

“Come on, Hop, the faster you kiss me, the faster we can eat.”

While obviously flustered, Hop sucked in a breath as though steeling himself before he leaned up, briefly making eye contact with Leon who smiled at him before he downcast his eyes again. Face still gushing, his brother moved into him again, and Leon could tell he really was trying his hardest with this, and it was so amusing watching him do something Leon never thought twice about as though it were one of the most difficult things in the world for him. He moved slow, slower than before, Leon able to hear his breath hitch in the back of his throat when he leaned in close, but finally, Hop slammed his eyes shut a second time, not wanting to watch, before he pressed his mouth against Leon’s.

This time, he didn’t pull away, but Leon could feel the way he tensed into him, his mouth quaking when his whole body began to tremble. Hop made an uncomfortable little moan as he did so, but that sound was enough to drive Leon wild, and he opened his mouth in return, wishing Hop would shove his tongue into him, but that was out of the question, he knew it. 

To have Hop kiss him like this, Leon couldn’t help himself. This wasn’t part of the bargain, but he reached up, grabbing the back of Hop’s head when he felt him begin to pull away again, and crushed him back against his mouth, Hop pushing out against his chest when he did so, but not hard enough for Leon to qualify it as him trying to get away. He never relaxed in his hold as Leon kept him glued against him, but he was over the moon to have Hop be the one to kiss him first, and he lost himself. Without meaning to, he kissed back, so much more forceful than what Hop had done to him, and shoved his tongue down his brother’s throat, gaining more resistance and another choked moan from him.

He tasted so good. He always tasted good, whether it was his mouth, his skin, his cock, it didn’t matter what part of his body Leon tasted, everything about Hop drove him wild, and he kissed him with as much passion as he felt, cupping the back of his head until his fingers were dug into his roots and he squeezed, not meaning to, not meaning to pull his brother’s hair, but Leon was going wild with it. It was hard enough holding back when Hop got him going, but he knew if he didn’t control himself, he might end up fucking him on the couch again.

It was too irresistible. Hop was like some drug he couldn’t get enough of, even the simple act of kissing him made Leon feel high, but he pulled away, enjoying how flushed Hop’s face was then, how his lips glistened from Leon’s eagerness. He kept his eyes shut, his mouth thinning until he bit his bottom lip when Leon finally leaned off him and took a moment to remember to breathe while he smiled at him.

“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” He ruffled his hair, noting how Hop grimaced when he did so, his face still on fire, and his eyes still squinted shut as if he refused to open them and see what he’d done. “You did good.”

With that said, and with Leon now satisfied, he only gave Hop a quick head pat before rising off the couch and making his way back to the kitchen. His chest swelled with warmth, his stomach tingling at the fact he’d finally gotten Hop to kiss him. While this didn’t mean he was about to let him have free reign over the entire apartment while he was gone, it was at least a step in the right direction. Maybe he would take him to work Monday after all, just as a precaution. Baby steps and all that.

Once the heat had been turned up enough to boil his water, Leon set to work with other things. Mainly getting Hop’s sheets in the dryer, cutting up some vegetables to put in his curry, and stealing glances over at Hop every once in awhile who had eventually turned the telly back on and was now watching some crime show with a detective and his partner Pikachu. The sounds droned on until Leon wasn’t paying much attention, more or less focused on his cooking and making sure his water didn’t boil over, but all in all, his packaged cheap curry only took minutes to make once he’d gotten things settled, and it wasn’t long before he plated their meals and called Hop over to join him.

Leaving the telly to play whatever crime show he was watching, Hop rose from the couch before seating himself next to Leon, wasting no time before digging into his meal. Hop always acted like he was starving, and while Leon was happy to see him finally eat, he hated watching him eat with too much enthusiasm, as though he hadn’t eaten a proper meal in days. It wasn’t necessarily a _bad_ thing, but it made him wonder if Hop truly was enjoying the food that much, or only eating because he said so.

Well, in the end it didn’t really matter. Hop was eating. That was that.

Pretty soon, Leon’s plate was licked clean, and he pushed his chair back as he stood away from the table. “Finished?” He held his hand out for Hop’s plate, as he had also eaten every bite. Maybe Leon didn’t put enough food there in the first place, but Hop nodded, handing him his plate as he too pulled back in his chair. “Help me with the dishes, won’t you?”

Without protest, Hop followed after him like a lost puppy, standing by his side when he began to fill the sink with soapy water. He and Hop often did the dishes together. While he had a dishwasher, he never saw much use when it was just the two of them and he didn’t mind to wash the few dishes they used by hand. Plus, it gave him an excuse to do something with Hop, no matter how menial.

As the sink filled with hot water, Leon having covered the surface with soap and bubbles, he submerged the pot and scrubbed while Hop waited on the side with a towel to dry. “I’ve been thinking.” Now was as good a time as any to bring this up, especially after he’d managed to get Hop to kiss him earlier. If he’d made that much progress in this short amount of time, there was no telling how much further he could breech those boundaries, if he just gave Hop a little push in the right direction, he might even kiss him of his own accord someday. Thoughts like that made Leon happy, though he knew it was a long shot at this point.

Once the pot was clean, he handed it off to Hop who rinsed and dried before placing it back in the cabinet.

“I think we’ve both been cooped up here for too long. The tower is great and everything, don’t get me wrong, but—” He scrubbed the excess off one of their plates, giving it to Hop who rinsed and dried. “I keep thinking how much better off we’d be if we moved away.”

Hop froze. Even though Leon wasn’t looking directly at him, he could feel the tension in the room suddenly grow much thicker, and he glanced at his brother from the corner of his eye, seeing as he had begun to grip his wash cloth a bit tighter.

“I mean, nothing set in stone, but it’s been a thought I’ve been having at least. What do you think, Hop? Wouldn’t it be nice to move away to the country somewhere?”

At first, he didn’t think he was going to answer, but to his surprise, Hop spoke, though low and more of a whisper than anything, it was still loud enough Leon could pick up on it. “N…no.”

Scrubbing out a glass, he gave it to Hop who gripped hold of it with shaky hands before rinsing it. “No? You don’t want to get out of Wyndon already? I know you haven’t gotten to explore the city much, but there’s so much more out there.” Leon shrugged. “It’s something to think about. We don’t even have to stay in Galar, Hop, we can go wherever you want.”

“I don’t _want_ to leave.”

At the sound of his brother’s voice, his voice that had grown strangely low, no longer trembling, Leon turned his attention to him, seeing how Hop was still gripping hold of the glass, his entire body shaking as he stared off straight ahead, not focused on anything.

“I’m not saying we have to do this right now, but in the future if you wanted to, we could—”

Hop’s face shot up then, his grip on the glass and his wash cloth getting so tight that Leon could see his knuckles paling. “I don’t _WANT_ to leave!” Now just short of shouting, the sudden change in his demeanor made Leon jump as his voice crept higher with every word he spoke, and he realized this situation was getting dangerous. He hadn’t meant to upset him, but he tried his best to calm him down.

“Hop, I’m not talking about right this second or anything, but maybe a couple years down the road.”

His brother’s face completely drained of color until Leon was sure he might pass out right there. His lip quivered, but he spoke despite that. “Y…years…” A look of abject horror drowned his features, and Leon’s heart began to thump in his chest at the sight of it. Hop looked ready to throw up.

“Yeah, wh-what’s wrong with that? It might take me awhile to come up with enough money to support us out there like that. I mean, if we even leave Galar. I want us to live comfortably.”

Hop took a step back, never once loosening his grip on the glass in his hand. He dropped the washcloth to the floor, his gaze still fixated straight in front of him, eyes wide and looking as though Leon had told him his closest friend passed away rather than he only wanted to move somewhere new.

His brother swallowed, taking another step back before he opened his mouth. “You’re planning to…keep me here for _years_?”

“Hop, what’s the matter with you? Of course I do.” He huffed, trying not to let Hop know he was putting him on edge acting like this. The way this was derailing, he feared another outburst would occur, but Leon couldn’t let that happen. He had to calm him down. “I thought you understood that you were going to be living with me from now on.”

“I didn’t think you meant…” Hop swallowed. “Meant…i-indefinitely.”

“ _Of course_ I did.” He moved closer to him, closing the gap Hop had created between them before leaning down until he was somewhat face level with him, giving Hop a hard stare as he still refused to look up at him. “Hop, why on earth do you think I’ve killed myself getting you up here with me? Why do you think I’m so afraid you’re going to run off on me? Why buy you things, give you all the things I’ve given you for your room if I never intended for you to stay with me?”

“I don’t…” Tears shined in his eyes, and Leon’s stomach sank when Hop blinked them away, finally holding his head up to look him in the eye. “I never wanted to _stay_ here.”

Leon frowned. “Well that’s too bad, Hop, because you aren’t going anywhere.”

“Wh-what if…” His brother was struggling to speak, his voice becoming strained as he struggled to keep his tears at bay, and Leon could see the way he clutched the glass in his hands that he was doing all he could to keep from squeezing it so hard that he crushed it. “What if I want to-t-to go out. I wanted—I wanted to be a professor.”

“You can still do that. Just because you’re living with me doesn’t mean I don’t want you to go out and do things for yourself.” Leon shrugged. “You’d just have to be careful about mentioning us.”

“I don’t _want_ there to be a fucking _us_.” The shift in his tone then, when Hop’s hysteria grew, and he glared up at him, Leon knew then he was about to break down on him, and he reached out to grip hold of his brother’s shoulders, pulling him close, and only gaining a flinch from him when he did.

Leon tried his best to remain calm and collected, but his voice was stern when he spoke, when he frowned at Hop. “I _love you_ , Hop, and whether you like it or not, this is where you’re going to be living from now on. You can go out and do the things you like, you can go be a professor if you want. I don’t care, because I want you happy, but—” He sucked in a breath, trying not to get as riled up as Hop was. “This is your home. You belong _with me_. I don’t care if we’re brothers, I don’t fucking care about what Mum thinks of us, hell, I don’t even care if everyone in the whole city found out we were fucking.” He hardened his gaze, even as Hop began to tremble in his arms, that look of horror never once leaving his face. “But, you’re not going anywhere. I won’t even entertain the thought.”

And maybe it was just because he was fighting with himself, trying to force down the urge to drag Hop back to his room and lock him up again, but Leon leaned even further down, until he was right in front of his face, until he could hear every small strangled breath that Hop made.

“You’re _mine_ , Hop. I love you, and I don’t care what anyone else thinks, I love you so much, I’m not ever going to let you go. I don’t care how bad you hate me, I don’t care how much you fight me, you belong with _me_. Do you understand?”

It was the strangest sensation then.

Despite the sounds of the telly in the background, the muffled, rather muted tones of the indistinct voices going on, the sound of the dryer banging around Hop’s sheets off to the side, the apartment became awash with an eerie silence. Leon stood there, gripping hold of Hop’s shoulders, his brother breathing rapidly through his nose, not breaking his stare, his eyes wet with tears, but they didn’t fall. In that moment when time seemed to slow, he watched his brother glance off to something behind him, though to what exactly, he didn’t know. It was a rather strange thing to notice after all, with Leon being desperate to calm him down and stop this argument from escalating.

But in an instant, it was like someone flipped a switch.

Leon had no time, absolutely no time to react when Hop reared his arm back and smashed the glass he’d been holding against the side of his head. It cracked against his skull, and Leon was thrown off him, blood gushing from his temple when he reached up out of instinct to hold the spot, Hop having dropped everything before Leon could even gain his bearings, and he was gone. Whipping around Leon in mere seconds, his brother took off across the room, faster than Leon had ever seen him run, and even with blood dribbling down his face, a few drops falling into his eye where Leon had to blink it away as it made tears form, he spun around, reaching out to grab hold of his brother before he could dash off, but his hands only grabbed air.

“HOP!” The pain in his head was immense, unlike anything Leon had ever felt before, it was enough to make his vision blur, and he slammed his eyes shut to try and will it away.

At first, he expected Hop to make a run for the front door, but Leon’s skin crawled when instead of the lock being turned, he heard the sliding door to his balcony snap open. In an instant, he shot open his eyes, the pain in his head unbearable as he clutched himself, feeling the blood gush in between his fingers, but even through his blurry vision, he could see Hop out on the balcony.

Time seemed to freeze again in that moment when things had been running in fast motion. Hop’s heavy breathing could be heard, even as Leon stumbled across the room, trying to fight off the specs of black in his vision as he feared he might be knocked unconscious, but even then, he staggered across, fighting to stay upright, fighting with every ounce of his body to reach his brother when he climbed on top of the railing. Flecks of blood fell to the floor as he fought to reach him, but his vision began to swim around him, making him nauseated when he couldn’t fight it off.

“ _HOP_!”

His call went unnoticed, but only for a moment did he see his brother, perched on top of the railing like a bird, his palms gripping the metal below him, only then did he see him whip his head around to give Leon a look of abject terror. It only lasted for a fraction of a second, but even in the state he was in, Leon could see it so clearly then, the clearest thing despite the fog in his eyes, and he stumbled over his own footing right as he reached the sliding door.

That look of horror Hop gave him was the last thing Leon saw before his brother pushed himself from the balcony, plummeting off the edge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you guys next chapter!


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHECK OUT THESE TWO BEAUTIFUL PIECES OF FANART!
> 
> https://twitter.com/maxtheeggmaster/status/1234961371403603971?s=21 (IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL THANK YOU!!)
> 
> https://twitter.com/mobburei/status/1234345876128174080?s=21 (HERE’S ANOTHER ONE OF LEON GETTING GLASS’D)
> 
> Thank you guys so much for your artwork it makes me so happy!! ;-;

There were plenty of times in Leon’s life when he’d been scared. Flying on Charizard for the first time made him realize he was afraid of heights, but after coming to rely on his partner and gaining a mutual trust, he was able to overcome that fear pretty quick. He could say he’d been scared to go to the doctor when he was a kid, just because he didn’t want a shot, or getting poked and prodded just to be given gross medicine afterward. He’d been scared when he first started his own gym challenge, a child still wet behind the ears and afraid of failure.

But.

None of that compared to what he felt when he watched Hop jump off the railing.

It was only a split second Leon was frozen in shock, but that instant passed by in a heartbeat when he tore himself away from the sliding door, blood still gushing from the gash on his temple, the pain making him woozy, but he momentarily forgot all of that as he jumped toward his brother. The moment he toppled over the edge, Leon was on him, his hand covered in blood when he reached out to grab hold of him, moving faster than he had ever moved in his life, he lunged forward, fingers outstretched to grab hold of something—anything—the back of Hop’s shirt to pull him back—his arm to hoist him up—anything he could get his hands on.

But, Hop had already fallen, and Leon’s hand only nabbed the air, the rush of wind the last thing he felt against his palm as he watched in silent horror while Hop fell, and fell, and finally, a muffled _thump_ when he hit the bottom. It seemed so far away, despite Leon only being three floors up, but he could hear that sound loud and clear. It was like the sound of a sack of potatoes being dropped to the floor, but with a definite heavier impact.

His heart stopped, everything freezing in that moment. Time itself seemed to stop, Leon’s outstretched hand he had in front of him growing numb as he realized he was bent almost all the way over the railing, the tips of his toes just barely brushing the floor of the balcony as he had attempted to reach down and stop Hop from falling. But he couldn’t. His brother had smacked against the ground below him, and from where he stood, all that Leon could see was how Hop didn’t move an inch.

His blood ran cold, his heart stopping, and he stood in shock for way too long, before Leon ripped himself away from the railing, head pounding from his injury, but he didn’t care. He passed the sliding door, his breathing heavy when his heartbeat finally kicked up, until it felt like it would crawl right from his chest, he ran, even as the adrenaline took over and he could no longer feel the pain against his head, Leon burst through his door, racing down the hall, and almost fell down three flights of stairs as he had only one thing on his mind—

Hop was dead.

He was dead.

He was dead— _dead— **dead**_ —

Those horrible words would not stop repeating themselves over and over again in his mind, and Leon was practically clawing his way through the building as though he were drowning and desperate to get to the surface for air. He couldn’t breathe—his heart was pounding so hard, it was physically painful, and he blinked blood out of his eyes that still dripped down from his bleeding temple. There was no way, absolutely no way Hop could have survived that. Leon heard that sound so clear—the sound of his body hitting the ground the way it did. It was so loud, there was no way he was alive. But, he tore through the apartment complex, ignoring several people’s concerned questions as he no doubt looked insane, especially with blood pouring from his head. A few of his neighbors tried to stop him, tried to grab hold of him and pull him back, but Leon pushed past those in his way, shoving them to the side.

All that mattered was getting to Hop.

The front door was yanked open and the cold night air slapped him in the face yet again as Leon rounded the corner to the side where his balcony was. Even as he ran, he could already see every nearby passerby had stopped, and Leon could hear the indistinct sounds of their voices asking what happened as he fought to reach that spot—the spot where Hop landed.

It was almost surreal seeing his body there—unmoving. Leon’s brain couldn’t even process all that was happening as he stood there staring. When he dropped to his knees, he gripped hold of his brother’s limp body, he tried to be delicate, he tried so hard to be gentle, but he couldn’t. There were tears in his eyes, ones he only just noticed as he panicked—as he fucking _panicked_ , because Hop wasn’t moving. He had landed on his side, and Leon knew there was no way he was still alive after a fall like that.

His hands were shaking as he called his name over and over, begging—begging with every ounce of his body, even as the blood gushed from his own head and Leon saw black spots in his vision, he could feel the hot tears falling from his face onto Hop’s as he held him in his arms. He was—

Leon’s entire chest quaked, but even as onlookers approached, he heard someone call for the paramedics, other people began to crowd, and their voices all blended together. But, they didn’t matter. All that mattered was Hop, even as Leon held him, he pulled him close as he cradled him in his arms, and he—

 _Could hear a small intake of breath_.

Leon’s heart stopped again and he pulled back, holding onto Hop like he was made of glass. Did he imagine that? He must have. He must be going crazy, but he began to shake again as he wished with every fiber of his body that he hadn’t imagined Hop just breathed in his ear.

Another small intake of breath.

And that was the only sound, the smallest of sounds, but somehow sounded like an orchestra blaring in his ear. That was all it took for Leon to compose himself, pull himself out of his hysteria, despite the blood and tears on his face, despite how much he was shaking, he pulled himself up, being incredibly mindful not to move Hop in a way that might break something even worse than he already was, but he was so light in his arms, even after the past month of feeding him and watching him gain a bit of weight, Hop felt like he weighed nothing then. Leon pulled the both of them up, his eyes glazed and blinked away the specks in his vision as his head pounded, the pain unbearable, but it didn’t matter right now. Nothing fucking mattered other than making sure Hop continued breathing.

The few people who had come to his aid surrounded him, and it was like a blur of sounds, lights, feelings, sensations. Leon couldn’t perceive anything happening as real in that moment, not when he was holding onto his brother like these people were trying to steal him away from him. The blaring lights of the paramedics vehicle came close then, and everything was so fucking _loud_.

People talking, asking him questions, some emergency paramedic trying to take Hop away from him, but Leon would not budge. Everything was a blur and he couldn’t focus enough to make any coherent sentences, let alone any coherent thought. He was carried into the vehicle, Hop still in his arms, and rushed away to the hospital.

Questions, questions, _questions_.

Leon couldn’t be bothered to answer when he held onto his brother, refusing to let go of him, but clinging to him as though one small move would break his entire body. Leon cradled him like he had never cradled him before, holding him close, but soon Hop was forcibly taken away from him to be placed on the hospital bed and everything moved in fast motion then.

Doctors, nurses, more sounds and blurs of colors as people rushed in and out, still asking him how did this happen, _what happened_ , a nurse tried to tend to his head wound, but Leon shoved her away, his gaze never leaving Hop’s limp body as they hooked him up, tubes coming out of his arms and nose like Hop was some kind of machine that needed to be plugged up in order to function.

Doctors examined him, everyone moving frantically as they fussed about, and all the while, Leon never moved. They tried to pull him away and tend to him, but he refused. He would _not_ leave Hop, no matter what.

“He’s alive,” was all he could hear one doctor say as the nurses began to bandage his brother up. The more Leon stood there, the more aware he became just how banged up Hop really was while he watched him being tended to. 

His leg was broken, one of his arms too, and he had bruises and scrapes all up the side from where he landed, but—

He was alive.

Hop was _alive_.

Leon didn’t realize he had started crying again as he stood there, the tears having fallen at some point after he heard those words. Those beautiful words, and everything finally came back to life. The words being spoken to him suddenly made sense, the questions he was asked were suddenly so clear, the lights and sounds weren’t just sensations, but things he could see and hear, things that made _sense_ , and Leon’s body gave out when his adrenaline left him and he collapsed right then in the hospital room.

* * *

Time passed in a haze then. Leon’s head injury wasn’t as deep as he first thought, despite all the blood that had pooled out, but he still needed a couple stitches for it. That was gonna be a hell of a scar, but he wasn’t even all that upset about it. Maybe in due time he would think about reprimanding Hop for it, but for now, he was just glad he was alive.

For Hop to survive that fall—Leon couldn’t believe how lucky he’d gotten. And for his brother to only come out of it with a couple of broken bones and some bruises—who the hell got that lucky? He didn’t hit the asphalt though, as Leon was slowing down from the events, his brain was remembering little by little certain details he had seen, but not registered. The most important one being when Hop fell, he hadn’t landed on concrete. It was strange to call it a garden, but he landed off in the shrubbery, the patch of grass and dirt and a few flowers probably breaking his fall more than anything, though it was enough to ensure he hadn’t died from the impact, it still left him pretty beat up.

But, while it hurt Leon to see his brother injured like that, all he could feel was overwhelming relief at the fact he hadn’t killed himself. He would have never thought Hop capable of doing something so drastic, but here they were. Both in the hospital, Leon with a bandage wrapped around his head, only a stark reminder of what Hop had done to him, and Hop, also bandaged up with a broken leg, arm, and an array of bruises covering one side of his body. How his brother only managed to get away with what could be considered minor injuries from a three story fall, he would never understand. But, he was grateful.

His head was killing him, Hop was banged up, Leon wanted nothing more than to go back home and go to sleep, but Hop was alive. Hop was _alive_ , and Leon could relax a little. All of the fuss from before had drained him physically and emotionally, and Leon was spent on more than just being tired from all of that. He had worn himself out with worry, and even as he sat back in a comfortable chair, seated next to Hop’s bed as his brother lie there, sleeping from medication that had been given to him, no longer plugged up like he’d been before, his breathing slow and steady as though he hadn’t just jumped off a balcony and almost killed himself—if Leon didn’t know any better, it could almost be considered serene seeing his brother so relaxed like this.

But, Leon was exhausted, his headache being staved away by pain medication of his own, and his eyelids kept drooping, but he didn’t know why he was fighting off sleep. The doctor kept trying to get him to leave and go home, but he would not leave Hop’s side for anything. As far as they knew, his brother hadn’t suffered any major injuries. Other than his broken bones, there was nothing wrong. No head injury, nothing ruptured, nothing that required an extended hospital stay, other than they were concerned when Leon had to say that he jumped from the balcony. Suicide watch was one thing, but Leon wasn’t even sure if that’s what he should call that.

He had never taken Hop to be suicidal. Sure, his brother had been in an emotional rut the past few weeks, and Leon could have considered him depressed, but he never gave off any hints that he wanted to _kill himself_. The thought alone broke his heart, for his brother to get to this point that he would do that—Leon bit his lip, trying to will away those thoughts for fear of his headache returning, but he leaned back in his chair, trying his hardest to fight off sleep.

The room was quiet. It was just past midnight, and the only light from the room came from a small bedside lamp next to Hop. His brother’s breathing was heavy, but peaceful, and Leon never thought just simply hearing him breathe would put him at ease so much. To go from thinking his brother had died, to realizing he had only knocked himself out—Leon was still recovering from the shock of it. He really didn’t know what he would have done if Hop had died from that. He was incredibly lucky he landed the way he did, where he hadn’t bashed his head on the asphalt. If he had, surely—

Leon shook his head, flinching a little when the pain in his temple brought him back from those ugly thoughts. No, it did no good to dwell on that, because it hadn’t happened. Hop was right here, sleeping, bandaged and worse for wear, but alive. Pushing against his chair, Leon pulled himself up just enough that he could reach out and touched the top of Hop’s hand, brushing his thumb over his knuckles. He was told Hop had been awake momentarily while they were tending to Leon’s injury, but he hadn’t gotten a chance to talk with him since. By the time he was all taken care of, they had already tucked Hop into bed and despite how badly he wanted to talk to him, Leon was just glad they allowed him to stay with him in the room for the rest of the night. He didn’t care if all he had to sleep in was a chair, but as long as he was with Hop, he didn’t care about anything else.

For now, he clutched his good hand, cupping Hop’s palm with his and as gently as he could so as not to disturb his brother, Leon lifted his hand to brush his lips against Hop’s knuckles, giving him a small kiss. No matter what happened, he was going to be here for him. When Hop finally woke up, he would stay right by his side, he would stay as long as they needed to here, but he wasn’t mad about this entire situation. He could never be _mad_ at Hop. Maybe he frustrated him sometimes, and maybe Leon lost his patience with him, but he would be there for him always.

He loved him. He still loved him. Leon was always going to love him, no matter what Hop said to him, how many times he attempted to run off on him, Leon would hold him tight and never let him go ever again.

Just as he began to doze, one of his last thoughts was how wonderful it would be if he and Hop could move far, far away.

* * *

It was only a little past dawn when Leon was drawn from sleep. He had fallen asleep in his chair, head leaned over onto the bed where he’d folded his arm to use as a pillow. The sun was barely peeking through the window, a thin streak of sunlight attempting to climb the wall from the other end. His brother lay in much the same position he’d been in last night: straight on his back, his broken arm held up by a sling while Leon clutched onto the other one still, his fingers laced between his. His breathing was light, but steady, and as Leon drew himself up, groggy and not very well-rested from sleep, he was at least put at ease to see Hop appeared comfortable.

Careful so as not to rouse him, Leon rose from his chair, letting go of Hop’s hand and leaning away from the bed. There was the unmistakable indistinct sounds of voices out in the hallway, but other than the occasional nurse or doctor he could hear pattering around, it was quiet. Making his movements slow and silent, Leon crept out of the room, making sure to shut the door behind him (quietly, of course), before he made his way down the flight of stairs and to the little cafeteria area. He wasn’t really hungry, and while not the biggest coffee drinker, Leon had need of it today as he fought the groggy fog in his head and the way he wanted nothing more than to curl up back at home and have a proper sleep.

His coffee was too bitter, though that was to be expected. Leon moved toward the little stand with napkins and the like, pouring about five packets of sugar into his cup. The only gripe he really had with coffee was its bitterness, as like his brother, he had more of a sweet tooth, but it could be ignored in favor of thinking the caffeine would help him wake up a bit more.

With his coffee in hand, Leon exited the cafeteria, and was stopped immediately in his tracks when he spotted Raihan across the way. His friend caught his eye the same instant Leon did, and he waved to him before picking up his pace and running toward him. Just when Leon was about to ask him what in the world he was doing here, Raihan sidled up to him, out of breath and frantic.

“Leon, what the _hell_ happened?” He sucked in air, eyes wide with worry, and Leon caught his friend’s gaze moving over to the bandage on his head. But before Leon could answer, Raihan continued. “I heard you were hospitalized.”

Leon blinked a few times, his head hurting when he did so. “Who told you _that_?”

Within seconds, Raihan pulled out his phone. “Someone posted online. I just saw it. You wouldn’t pick up the damn phone, so I came over.”

Oh. Without meaning to, Leon gave him a bit of a half-hearted shrug. “Sorry. Left it back at home. It’s been a mess, Rai.”

“What the hell happened to your head?”

Reaching up only for a brief moment, Leon grazed the pads of his fingers against his bandage, shaking his head. “It was an accident. I’m fine, just have a little headache.” And a couple stitches, but the less information Raihan knew, the better.

“What about the kid? Is Little Lee okay?”

Leon bit his lip, removing his hand from his head and not able to meet Raihan’s eyes. It felt like he was lying if he were to say that Hop was okay, but he couldn’t tell him no either, but it wouldn’t exactly be a _lie_ to say that he was fine. He jumped from a third story balcony and survived, so how was he supposed to go about making out like it was a good thing Hop hadn’t managed to kill himself? Ugh, his head was hurting with so many thoughts jumbling around. Leon hadn’t gotten a chance to really sit and process a whole lot since last night and it felt like he’d been walking around in the fog ever since.

But, he finally settled on, “He’s…fine.” Although he could have stood to sound just a bit more enthusiastic with that, but he couldn’t be bothered right now.

Raihan arched his brows. “Doesn’t sound like you’re all too sure yourself.”

Honestly…he wasn’t. Leon still hadn’t gotten the chance to talk to his brother after all that had happened, but he wasn’t sure what in the hell he was planning to even say to him. All he really wanted was to take the both of them back home, in the privacy of his apartment, where they wouldn’t be bothered, and talk it out.

And he hated that he had a wave of anxiety surface when he realized he also wanted to get Hop back to his room where he could have him safe and sound behind that deadbolt, but he swallowed at those thoughts. It should have made him feel guilty, but really—what the fuck was he supposed to think now? He had Hop try and wrench open the front door before to run away, and now he went and jumped off the balcony, almost killing himself by doing that. Leon would have no choice but to keep him locked up for awhile. Hop had done _nothing_ to earn his trust, especially now.

It should have made him feel awful he was blaming his brother for thoughts like these, but it didn’t. Leon had every right to feel this way, after the grief he’d caused him. After Leon thought he’d lost him for good, after he thought he was gone. 

“Come on, champ. Let’s go get some fresh air.” With his head still in the clouds, Leon barely registered it when Raihan patted his shoulder, with just a bit too much gusto, before pushing him with his palm toward the hospital entrance. Leon followed along, still clutching and sipping at his coffee, grimacing a bit when not even five packets of sugar could coat that bitter taste, but that was the absolute least of his worries right now.

The automated sliding doors opened for them, and Leon was met with the cold morning air, his initial reaction being to huddle down, but he settled for sipping on his coffee instead. Raihan pulled them off to the side, setting himself down on a nearby bench before patting the spot next to him, offering for Leon to do the same. It was somewhat private, but it was better than nothing. Just as Leon settled down next to him, Raihan dug into the front pocket of his hoodie before pulling out a pack of cigarettes and lighting one.

“Talk to me.” Raihan took a drag of his cigarette, blowing out a puff of smoke into the cool morning air.

All Leon had done the past month was avoid Raihan, sometimes intentionally missing his calls, or making up excuses for why they couldn’t hang out, but there was no getting around that anymore. Leon sighed, leaning back on the bench before he took a long sip of coffee, not caring that it burned the roof of his mouth when he did so.

“It’s been hell, Rai.”

“Considering you’re in the hospital right now, I’d say no shit, but continue.” Another drag. He wasn’t cross or demanding, but Leon could still hear the nuance in his voice. He cared, he wanted to help, but he wasn’t about to take any bullshit off of him either.

So.

Leon sucked in a breath, letting it out until he could see it in front of him. There wouldn’t be any avoiding him this time, that was for damn sure, but it wasn’t like he had to tell him all the nitty gritty details about what happened either.

Just.

“Hop jumped.”

Letting out a puff of smoke, Raihan titled his head toward him, Leon able to see the confused way his eyebrows arched from the corner of his eye. “What?”

Leon swallowed. “He…jumped off the balcony last night.”

“Holy shit. What the hell _happened_?” Now he was pulled up, his elbows rested on top of his thighs as he leaned forward into Leon, egging him on to speak.

“I don’t know.” His mind was still so damn foggy, not even the caffeine was snapping him out of it. His grip on his cup only tightened when Raihan leaned in closer.

“What do you mean you don’t know? What set the kid off to jump the damn balcony? I know you said you were having problems, but shit, mate, I didn’t think you meant like _this_.”

“Honestly…” He drew his face up, the steam from his cup wafting up until he could smell the heat itself as he looked up at the sky. It was such a pretty blue today, even as the sun climbed higher and higher. When was the last time Leon just—took the time to look up at something like that? It was almost a mocking contrast to the mood he was feeling and all that was happening. “Me either.”

“Champ, I know you told me things going on are private and I respect that, but please just tell me what on earth compelled that kid to do something like that?”

Again, Leon’s grip on his cup tightened, the cheap styrofoam threatening to give way underneath his hands. “I…” He gulped, but lowered his head in defeat. “I don’t know. I think he’s been having a really hard time with Mum. Didn’t wanna tell you for his sake, but we’ve been banished from there. He’s been real upset about it.”

“Banished?” As Raihan sat there listening to him, he continued taking puffs of his cigarette, until the whole thing had been burned away. “The hell happened with that? You didn’t tell me that either. You just said Little Lee—”

But he cut him off. “I _know_. I don’t have to tell you everything.” He hadn’t meant to sound irritated, but the chill in the air was starting to get to him and even his hot drink couldn’t fight that off for long. “All you need to know is we had a falling out with Mum, she kicked us out, and Hop doesn’t know how to deal with it.” Another sip from his coffee and Leon’s tongue felt numb to the burn by now. “I’ve been doing the best I can to help him through it, but I didn’t think it would come to this.”

At that, Raihan finally leaned back in his seat, his cigarette long burnt out, but with every breath he took, Leon could hear the pause in it, if not judging by his body language alone, Raihan had grown stiff. There were a few awkward seconds of silence that passed, and Leon finally turned, wondering if he was even going to say anything at all.

Finally, Raihan let out a long, drawn out sigh before he lifted his head back and stared up at the sky, much like Leon had done before. “Poor kid. Is there anything I can do to help?”

At least he wasn’t pressing him for more details. That much was a relief. Though, he had a funny feeling Raihan knew a lot more than he let on, but was holding back in favor of Leon. He had to smile, as even now, despite the fact Leon had spent the past month essentially ignoring Raihan, his friend hadn’t given up on him, and was here for him. Physically and for moral support, Raihan really did care, he knew. It almost made Leon feel guilty he’d ever been jealous of him for coming onto Hop when he did.

Almost.

“No.” He shook his head, leaning back with Raihan as the pair stared up at the sky, the sun slowly climbing until the golden rays were slowly stretching up the side of the hospital, giving it a warm glow. “I appreciate it, but this is something we have to figure out ourselves. Besides, I’m not even sure what you _could_ do.”

Raihan shrugged, stretching his legs a bit before inhaling. “I could lend you an ear at least. If something’s bothering you, you can always talk to me about it. I know you ain’t one for sharing your feelings and whatnot, but it’s the least I can do.”

Leon nodded, closing his eyes as the steam from his cup wafted up into his face. “Thank you.” He squeezed his cup a few times between his fingers before lowering his head down to stare at the coffee inside. He had put so much cream and sugar in it that it was almost white, and still it tasted bitter to him. Leon sighed before he took a small sip from it. “Actually—”

Before he could even continue, Raihan had leaned up next to him, moving his face into his so fast and invading his personal space in mere milliseconds that Leon couldn’t help but snort out a loud even as he bent backward to stretch the distance between them again. It seemed both he and Hop had a thing about people getting in their face so suddenly. He felt a bit bad he did that as often as he did, but when it came to Hop, Leon should have had all the right when they’d already been intimate. Something as simple as getting in his face wasn’t a big deal anymore.

“Yes?” Raihan was leaned over, staring up at him with a lidded expression, a smile that definitely was not coy stretching on his face. It was so strange for Leon to be smiling at him like this, what with the situation he was in being as somber as it was, but maybe Raihan knew that and was only trying to lighten things up for Leon’s sake.

Still, he rolled his eyes, scooting over in his seat until he was almost hanging off the edge of the bench to put some more distance between them. “I mean— I haven’t gotten the chance to really talk to Hop about it, but I was playing with the idea of moving. Or at least getting away for awhile.” His smile slowly dropped. “He doesn’t want to leave Wyndon though.”

“So, like a extended vacation type thing?”

Leon nodded. “I thought it would be good for him to get away for awhile. Getting some fresh air somewhere might help him cope with all that’s happened.” The smile he’d once had completely fell, and Leon was right back where he started. All the memories from last night hit him like a freight train and he couldn’t get that look on Hop’s face right before he jumped out of his head for the life of him. All because he suggested they move somewhere new. He thought Hop would’ve been elated to go somewhere, to get out of his room and stretch his legs. Leon thought he’d be happy. But—that flash of horror crossed his mind and Leon felt ill.

“Good idea.”

Leon whipped his head up, not really sure why Raihan’s answer surprised him. He probably figured since Hop had reacted so negatively that Raihan would echo that reaction, but he had leaned back and away from Leon’s face, now giving him a more serious, but soft expression.

Leon blinked. “Wait—really? You think so?”

Raihan shrugged. “Sure. Maybe not like a _vacation_ , but can’t you take like a sabbatical or something? There’s not really any trainers coming to the Battle Tower all that often anyway, right?” Raihan made a sweeping gesture with his arm, emphasizing the point. “So like, do it? Take the kid, leave for a month or two, and get him straightened back out. It might be good for him, but it might be good for _you_ too.”

Needless to say, Leon hadn’t expected Raihan to be so supportive, but—the longer he sat there, the more alluring that thought became. Leaving with Hop for a month to travel, get him out of the apartment and seeing new sights and places—it seemed like such a simple solution, or maybe not a solution, but definitely an idea. Hop might not be on board with a journey like that either, if his reaction to moving away was anything to go on, but Leon nodded to himself, feeling a warmth spread in his chest despite the cold.

Getting Hop out and about where he wasn’t cooped up to a single room all day, it might snap him out of this dip in mood he’d been in ever since Leon brought him up here. Maybe not a permanent solution, but it might definitely help him. Though, with his brother as banged up as he was now, traveling was out of the question at least until he was fully healed. The way things looked now, Hop was going to be out of commission for at least another month and a half, if his healing went well.

Leon sighed, more out of frustration that he couldn’t take Hop right this second and go gallivanting off, but also because of the fact he was going to have to keep him locked in his room for at least another month at this rate. Though with a broken leg and arm, he knew Hop’s mobility was limited and he wouldn’t get very far if he tried to run again, but that didn’t stop Leon from planning to take every precaution necessary this time around. That meant no more bending over backwards trying to ease Hop back out of his room. As far as he was concerned, Leon was putting him under lock and key until further notice. It wasn’t his fault Hop gave him no choice in the matter.

So, he let out a small laugh through his nose as he looked up at the sky one last time. “Thanks, Rai. We’ll definitely do something like that.”

* * *

The two friends spent a good while outside, Leon finally finishing off his coffee, disposing of it in the nearest waste bin before he and Raihan started back through the sliding doors of the hospital. It hadn’t been that long they’d been outside, maybe forty minutes, but the sun had steadily risen, giving Leon the impression it was much later than it actually was. He was anxious to get back to Hop’s room and see if he’d woken up yet. There was so much he wanted to talk to him about, but more importantly, he was just looking forward to seeing him again.

“Hey, champ, I got something to do real quick.” Raihan pulled back, taking a few steps backward before Leon could hit the button on the elevator. “What room is the kid in?”

“Second floor, two-thirty, why?” He watched Raihan curiously, wondering if maybe he just had to use the bathroom or something, but his friend shrugged.

“You’ll see. I’ll be up in a bit. Catch you later.” With a quick wave, Raihan turned before gliding down the hall in the opposite direction, leaving Leon alone at the elevator.

His interest peaked, Leon watched Raihan before he rounded the corner, disappearing from view, curious as to what he was planning, but not wanting to waste anymore time, Leon stepped in the elevator, riding to the next floor up. When he stepped out into the hallway, he noted how quiet it still was. It was still rather early in the morning, not even nine yet, but he figured the place would be more bustling with activity as nurses moved about, but he was also thankful at least it meant Hop would get more rest with it being so quiet.

With his brother back on his mind, Leon swallowed before approaching his room, being very tentative and careful as he pushed open the door, trying to remain quiet in case Hop was still asleep. As he poked his head through the room, he could already hear the heavy sounds of Hop’s breathing, and saw his brother still in the same position as before, asleep on his back, not a care in the world, but he deserved all the rest he could afford after last night. But, as much as Leon wanted to leave him be and let him sleep, he was anxious to talk with him. On one hand, he very much wanted to discuss about going off like Raihan suggested, taking a vacation as it were, but with the way Hop reacted last night, he feared another breakdown like that and had to bite his lip to hold back on saying anything just yet. It could wait.

For now, he sank down into the bedside chair, reaching over to cup onto Hop’s hand again as he sat there with him. His brother stirred suddenly, and Leon felt his stomach jump at the sight of it, but after a few seconds, Hop mumbling incoherent things, he finally opened his eyes. Even from where Leon sat, he could see them glazed over from sleep and possibly from all the medicine he’d been given. He was no doubt groggy as hell, but Leon clutched onto his hand even tighter, hoping to offer any reassurance as his brother came to.

His eyes were lidded and unfocused, as he blinked slow and steady a few times before his gaze finally landed over on Leon. He offered his brother the most sincere smile he could muster then, even though it wasn’t his best, dragging his thumb over his hand as he did so in an effort to comfort him.

“Good morning. How are you feeling?” Seeing Hop finally awake made the warmth pile into his chest again, and Leon’s smile grew when Hop mumbled something then, his voice thick and low from sleep.

Then finally, “Wh…what…happened?” Hop blinked again, as though trying to discern whether he was even awake or not, but Leon dragged himself up enough out of his chair to reach over him, brushing his bangs back before kissing his forehead.

“It’s okay. We can talk about it later. You’re in the hospital, remember?”

Hop only blinked again in confusion. And then, his next words made Leon sink back, the warmth leaving his chest as it threatened to constrict him instead. “I’m…alive?”

Hearing his brother say those words snapped him back to reality and the smile dropped from his face, all of Leon’s emotions he’d been holding back since the night before resurfacing and it all came to the tipping point. Tears filled his eyes, because Hop almost sounded—

 _Disappointed_?

Maybe not that, but there was the undeniable tone in his voice that suggested he was just as surprised as Leon that he had survived. And Leon couldn’t help himself. As he lowered back in his chair, still clutching Hop’s hand in his own, still drawing small circles with his thumb, his brother looking over at him as banged up as he was, bandages wrapped around his arm and leg, bruises already formed on his side from where he hit—and Leon lost all his composure.

Lowering his head, Leon cried. The tears spilled out no matter how hard he tried to blink them away, but they kept coming in droves, streaking down his face and dropping from his chin. He cried and cried, the grief he’d felt the night before spilling out all at once, the worry for his brother rearing its ugly head and all he could think of was _why_.

Why would Hop do something like this? Why would his brother jump knowing full well it could have killed him and act almost disappointed he hadn’t sustained any serious injuries? Why did he sound this way—his voice so devoid of emotion that it broke Leon’s heart to hear him even speak. It was raspy, as though Hop had been screaming for hours on end, but there was no denying the lack of any real emotion there. Despite the tone suggesting otherwise, Leon could tell just by looking at his face, hearing his voice, Hop wouldn’t have cared if the fall had killed him either way.

“H-Hop…” Leon tried to control himself, get a grip, but it was becoming so hard. He hadn’t meant to lose himself like this and break down, but he couldn’t help it. Seeing his brother so broken like this, it was like he was a different person. Where was that smiling, bubbly little brother he grew up with? Where was his enthusiasm for life, his passion for his goals, his love for Leon that never failed to make him feel like the most important person in the world?

This wasn’t Hop anymore.

This wasn’t the same person Leon grew up with, the same person who sometimes snuck in bed with him at night after a nightmare, who implored Leon to spend every minute with him the rare times he returned home, who got _so excited_ just to be in the same room with him, who bragged in public about Leon being who he was. That look in his eye had always been bright and cheerful, and just the sight of Hop’s smiling face made Leon smile back, every time without fail. Being near him made Leon happy, and he _loved_ that about him.

The Hop in front of him had become someone else just in the short span of weeks. He never smiled anymore. He hadn’t had that zest for life ever since Leon went back home to visit and started this entire affair. The look in his eyes was always dulled, always sad.

Always so _fucking sad_.

Leon cried, mourning for him. Hop was here. Hop was alive. Hop hadn’t killed himself when he jumped off the balcony.

But the Hop he fell in love with disappeared the moment Leon woke him up that night—that night he just couldn’t fucking help himself. Couldn’t control his desire for him, couldn’t control his urge to show Hop how he _really_ felt about him, and how he had probably felt for much longer, but had chosen to deny it and lie to himself. Because Leon wasn’t a creep. Leon wasn’t a pervert or some sick fuck who did things to Hop for his own gratification. Leon had never once hurt his little brother by doing this. He wasn’t the type of person to take advantage of his younger brother, overpower him when he got rough, and hold him down while he fucked him. Leon wasn’t a monster. He just—

All he ever did was love him.

“Hop…” Leon’s voice was shaking, the tears finally stopped as he tried to blink them away, but even wiping at his face gave him no relief, only smeared the streaks on his face. His brother only lie there, looking over at him with that lidded expression, never once saying a word the entire time he cried like he did. Never once reacting. “Wh-why would you do something like that? Do you have—” He had to swallow and fight the quake in his voice as he threatened to break down again. “—have any idea what you did to me?”

Hand still clutched in his own, he felt the tiniest subtle movements of Hop tensing under him, but he didn’t move. Didn’t answer.

“I thought you were gone. I thought I’d lost you. Do you even care? Is your own life that worthless to you?” He hadn’t meant to sound as though he were blaming him, but Leon was too distraught to think clearly anymore. Everything was spilling out in a horrible heap and he couldn’t stop himself from saying things like that to him. “Why would you try to run away from me like that?”

“I…”

Before Hop had any time to finish what he had to say, the door opened, and Raihan entered, stopping dead in his tracks when he set eyes on Leon who was still gripping hold of Hop’s hand and had no doubt that his face was an absolute wreck. Raihan’s grip on the door waned, and he took a tentative step backward, Leon noticing he had a small white bag clutched in his other hand despite his clouded vision.

“Sorry, am I interrupting? I’ll leave.”

“No. It’s fine.” It wasn’t— but, leaning away from his brother, finally letting go of his hand when he did so, Leon sat back in his chair and wiped his face again, knowing he probably looked fucking ridiculous, but Raihan walked through then, closing the door behind him. His movements were slow and careful and Leon knew his friend was uncomfortable barging in on what should have been a private moment like this.

Not even bothering to bring up the fact Leon had just been crying like a baby, Raihan instead approached Hop, giving him a soft smile as he held up the small white bag for him. “Hey, Little Lee.” And did Leon _notice_ how Hop cringed when he said that. Even in this position, even with that lidded expression and no shortage amount of exhaustion written on his face, Leon still noticed the small way he closed his fist at the sound of those words. But, Raihan didn’t appear to see. Leon had to wonder if Hop was still bothered by what he’d told him before, that Raihan was interested in him, because there was a definite way that his brother looked up at him now, no longer smiling, no longer relaxed, but appearing as though he were on edge around Raihan now.

It shouldn’t have given Leon that small sliver of gratification that it did.

“I got something for ya. Sorry it ain’t much.” Setting the small bag down next to him, Raihan leaned away just as Hop pulled himself up enough in bed that he was in a seated position, using his good arm to dig into the bag, pulling out a small box with some kind of cloud symbol on the front. After giving Raihan a bit of a confused, if not still rather blank, stiff look, Hop pulled open the box after gaining a reassuring smile from him.

Inside was an assortment of chocolates, all in the shape of Wooloo, and Raihan let out a bit of a nervous, awkward laugh as he rubbed the back of his head. “Sorry it’s kinda lame. Leon told me you liked sweets, and I wanted to get ya something. You know, like a get well present?” He shot Leon a look, as though giving him a silent apology for buying his brother something like that in the first place, but Leon didn’t even have the energy to feel jealous right now. He was still fighting off his own slew of emotions, finally having stopped crying, but with Raihan interrupting like that, it was hard to pretend nothing was wrong. He continued sitting in his chair awkwardly, wishing his friend would leave so that he and Hop could have a proper conversation, but even Raihan seemed to notice the tension in the air.

“Anyway, just wanted to drop by, say hi.” Again, Raihan shot him a glance, but Leon couldn’t meet his eye right now. He knew there were plenty of questions Raihan wanted to ask, but he also knew when he’d overstayed his welcome. With a final wave to the both of them, Raihan saw himself out the door, but not before he turned one more time to Leon. “Talk to you soon, champ.” And he was gone.

The room was silent once more, save for the occasional nurse rummaging around in the hallway, the indistinct voices that grew in sound before falling silent once more, and Leon could still feel the air was thick with tension, even without Raihan there to make things awkward and stilted, there was an unspoken, unresolved barrier between him and Hop. His brother had merely packaged the chocolates away, obviously not feeling up to eating any sweets, but he tucked them onto his bedside table with care, and Leon sucked in air before straightening himself up in his chair.

“Hop.”

His brother made no more movements other than lowering his head, refusing to meet his gaze. But that was okay. Leon didn’t think he could take that look in his eye without breaking down again anyway.

So, he swallowed, trying to speak without his voice cracking. “Hop, why would you try to kill yourself like that?”

“I didn’t.” His brother clutched the blanket covering him with his good hand, squeezing the fabric between his fingers. Through his gritted teeth, Leon could see him trying to keep his own composure, and he looked so tired. So fucking tired. Leon wanted to take the both of them back home and sleep this entire ordeal off. He was so emotionally drained that Leon was starting to feel only numbness in place of his grief. “I wasn’t _trying_ to kill myself.”

Leon blinked away more tears. “Then why did you jump?”

Biting his lower lip, Hop only turned his head away, gaze still held low, still refusing to meet him. “I panicked.”

“You _panicked_?” All he did was suggest moving somewhere. It wasn’t even a sure thing, it was just an idea he’d had bouncing in his head for awhile. Hell, it wasn’t like Leon suggested he and Hop pack up everything right that very second and start a new life somewhere.

Hop nodded, slow and steady. “Yeah. I panicked.” And clutched his blanket again, his lip quivering. “I’m not fucking suicidal, I just wanted to get the hell away from _you_.”

 _Get away from him_? Leon drew his head up then, his throat tightening along with his chest at the sound of those words. It was very small, almost insignificant, but there was no denying Hop had said that with hostility, and it was all directed at Leon. His voice may have been dulled and exhausted from this entire situation, but he could still hear the way he spat that out loud and clear.

“Does…” Leon bit his bottom lip, his emotional exhaustion catching up with him now that he had composed himself and stopped crying. Everything had come out at once and along with his uncomfortable, restless night, he was so fucking tired. Leon just wanted to go home and sleep for a long time, preferably with Hop right next to him, but his own exhaustion was catching up to him. “Do you really hate living with me that much, Hop?”

“Of fucking _course_ I do.” And he turned then, Leon drawing back when the sight of his brother’s face actually caused him to freeze up.

Hop glared at him.

There was nothing but animosity drowned over his features, and he glared up at Leon through lidded eyes, every ounce of that statement as clear as day in his eyes alone. He glared with more hatred than Leon had ever seen before, and he could _feel_ it coming off him, not just the way he looked at him, but his body language, the way he held himself, the sound of his voice. His fucking _eyes_.

“But.” Leon swallowed, not used to feeling intimidated by his brother, but here he was, and he had to dart his gaze elsewhere, anywhere other than Hop’s face. He couldn’t stand to look at him when he had such a look about him. “But, Hop—” Tears threatened to spill. “I love you.”

And he didn’t expect it when Hop laughed.

It was one of the most joyless sounds he had ever heard his brother make. It was so forced, no amount of merit or happiness whatsoever. Laughter was supposed to be an expression of joy, something good, something light-hearted and infectious to those hearing it.

But, the hollow way Hop laughed at him held absolutely none of those things. It was merely a sound to be made, Leon’s skin crawling at the emptiness alone, and Hop leaned back in bed then, Leon glancing up to see him staring at the ceiling, his glare gone, but his expression had softened somewhat instead. It was as if in that moment, Hop wasn’t there with him anymore, his mind having gone far, far away, but he looked up at the ceiling as though wishing it would burst away and he would float away through it. He looked so empty, so devoid of any feeling.

This wasn’t Hop anymore.

“I know you do.”

Hop closed his eyes, and Leon could see, though as small as it was, a thin line of tears fall from the corner then. When he opened them again, more spilled, Hop continued having that far off look on his face as he cried. 

“I can’t do anything right.”

Leon leaned up and forward, placing his palm on the bed next to him as Hop turned his head away from him. He didn’t seem to care when Leon gripped hold of his hand, cupping his palm in his own and squeezing. Hop neither reacted nor said anything. When he spoke, it was like he was talking to himself, not to Leon.

“I’ve spent so long telling myself I could have done something to stop all this. Do you know how humiliating it is when you fuck up so bad you can’t even save yourself? Look at what happened with Mum.” Another laugh, another forced sound that held no joy and was simply for the sake of making noise. “I could have done something. I could have run away a long time ago.” When he looked up to the ceiling, his tears still falling, Leon waited for him to have his say, rubbing circles on his palm with his thumb as he continued. “But, it probably wouldn’t have mattered. Maybe I _should_ have tried harder to kill myself. Not like there’s anyone left who’d care.”

“Don’t say that, Hop.” It broke his heart to hear his brother say things like that. And Leon winced when he held onto him, that awful sinking feeling dipping into his stomach when the quietness of the room felt suffocating. “I care. I never meant for this to happen. I didn’t want things to be like this.” Tears threatened to spill yet again, but he fought hard to keep them at bay. “I never intended for things to wind up like this.”

“Then what _did_ you expect to happen?”

Leon swallowed, his throat feeling so tight, the air feeling so thick as he breathed, that he was surprised he wasn’t smothering himself right then and there. He closed his eyes, trying to fight back when he wanted to cry again. Why was it when he broke down, the tears just never seemed to stop? He had already cried himself dry. There were no more emotions left to purge.

Leon lifted his head to his brother. “I just want you to love me.”

“ _Leon_.”

Hearing his brother call him by his full name made him stop dead in his tracks, Leon’s first reaction being to recoil in shock, but he froze to a complete stop, not even breathing, when Hop turned to face him. The glare was gone, but so was every other ounce of emotion. His brother just looked tired.

So fucking _tired_.

It was like watching a completely different person speak to him, like Hop had vanished and was replaced by some doppelgänger. His voice carried no tone, no hint of what Hop was really thinking, and only served as a constant reminder of what had transpired. Leon had never in his life seen his brother look as empty as he did now, and he wanted to cry all over again.

“What am I supposed to do? I can’t do anything right. I can’t even manage to kill myself.” Hop closed his eyes, taking a long breath through his nose, but Leon could hear the way it rattled, as his brother fought off his own tears, but they fell anyway. “What do you want from me?”

“Just let me love you.”

Leon lifted himself from his chair, his eyes glued to his brother as he held onto his hand, and he sank to his knees right then and there. Lowering himself all the way to the floor, he looked up at his brother as he pulled his hand close, and kissed his knuckles, gaining absolutely no reaction, no response, nothing from Hop when he did so. His brother looked at him through exhausted, extinguished eyes, the dark spots underneath them only emphasizing how drained he really was.

“Hop, I love you. Please, just please _let me_ love you. Let me make everything up to you. I’ll do everything in my power to make you happy, I promise.” Again, he kissed the top of his hand, finally receiving some kind of reaction when he felt Hop shiver. Just a small shiver. “I want you to be happy with me.”

He was literally on his knees begging—fucking _begging_ with him, fighting off tears as he wanted to cry, wanted to wrap Hop up in his arms and never let go. He loved him. He knew he did. Even now, seeing his brother so devoid of the life he once had broke his heart, and it killed him every time he looked into his eyes, but he—

Leon swallowed, lowering his face down until his forehead was placed against Hop’s hand, until he brushed against his bandage, the place Hop had caused him injury, and still, he begged him. He would lower himself before him, get down on his hands and knees if Hop wanted him to, if it would prove to him how serious he was, he would do it for his brother.

He blinked away the tears, but they fell despite it, and he lifted his head to finally look Hop in the eye. His brother’s expression never changed, but he held none of the disdain from before.

There was nothing left in his eyes but emptiness.

“Hop.” More tears fell, but Leon could do nothing to stop them. “I love you. Please believe me when I tell you you’re more important to me than anything. I want you to be happy. I’ll do anything to make you happy. _Please_.” His vision blurred as he cried, as he clutched Hop’s hand like he really would float away from him, but he never wanted to let go.

He never wanted to feel the way he felt last night ever again. Never in his life did Leon ever want to experience the grief of losing his little brother like he thought he had last night. His admiration—his passion—his overwhelming love for his brother may as well die with him if it were to ever come to that. Leon couldn’t live without him.

Bringing Hop’s hand to his lips once more, he gave him a gentle kiss. “Stay with me, Hop. _Please,_ I promise I’ll make you happy. I promise I’ll do whatever you want me to. I’ll give you everything I can possibly afford to give you if it will make you happy. I’ll buy you whatever you want, I’ll feed you the best food everyday, I’ll take you anywhere you want to go, let you see whatever place you want to see. I just want you to be happy.”

Leon swallowed, hoping if nothing else that his brother realized how serious he was, how awfully he loved him. He meant it, with all of his body, as he sat there hunched over the bed, dropped to his knees to lower himself before his brother, Leon meant every word he said.

“Stay with me.”

There was a moment Leon felt like he wasn’t partaking, but rather an observer from the distance watching it happen. It was unlike the night before when everything was happening so much so fast that his senses were overloaded to the point he couldn’t think straight. But now—

Now everything was too quiet. Too slow. Too frozen. It was like he was trapped in a picture as he watched Hop close his eyes, inhaling through his nose and exhaling. His brother remained pliant underneath him as Leon held onto his hand, and he couldn’t help but notice the bruises that had formed throughout the night on his brother’s arm. From where his opposite hand was visible through the sling, Leon could see the black and blue, see another dark spot forming right on his shoulder, and he had no doubt the next time he saw him naked, Hop would be way more beaten up than he let on.

To see him so broken, physically and emotionally, it drove Leon crazy. There was a compulsion to snatch him up, whisk him away, and take the both of them somewhere far, far away. Far away from Wyndon, away from any peering eyes, away from Galar as a whole, somewhere safe where Hop could be happy, where he would realize Leon loved him so much that this was why he was with him. They were meant to be together. Leon was meant to hold him, meant to kiss him, meant to fuck him until Hop was moaning below him, but he loved him so much, he knew it to be true.

He could take them away where Hop would fear no judgement. Nobody to tell them how wrong it was that they couldn’t be together because they were brothers. Nobody to look down upon them, when Leon knew with every cell in his body, every ounce of his being—that _he loved him_.

On his knees.

Leon was _on his knees_.

Begging.

Pleading.

Lowered beneath him.

Because he loved him. Nobody could ever convince him otherwise, nobody, not even Hop, could tell him this wasn’t unabashed, unadulterated love. Leon felt it in his bones, all the way through his body, he felt it seeping from his pores, coiling in his stomach, fogging his brain—smothering him until he couldn’t breathe.

He loved him. He knew he did.

When the room had grown quiet, way too quiet that Leon couldn’t even hear the shuffling of the nurses out in the hallway, as he held onto Hop, never once leaving his side, his brother drew his eyes open, gaze unfocused as he stared straight ahead. He didn’t move beneath him, he didn’t say anything right away, but Leon heard him make the smallest of sighs, his hand growing limp underneath Leon’s before he finally opened his mouth.

“…okay.”

That one small word of affirmation made Leon’s heart leap in his chest, and he wanted to jump to his feet, but all Leon could do then was muster a small, tired smile back at him. His own tears had blurred his vision long ago, but even as he tried to will them away, they just kept coming. Leon couldn’t stop crying. He remained there for way too long, simply crying and crying, emotionally exhausted, physically drained, and too tired to think anymore. He just cried.

But eventually, he dragged himself to his feet, his knees knobby, his legs feeling like jello as he composed himself, and he leaned over to Hop, kissing him on the cheek when he did so. 

“I love you, Hop.”

His brother nodded, never looking back over at him, but opening his mouth to speak in a hushed, quiet tone.

“…I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is shaping up to be the last. 
> 
> But! We’ll see ;) thank you guys so much for your support, and I’ll see you soon!


	23. Chapter 23

It had been a few weeks since they’d left the hospital. Leon had Hop back in the apartment with him, barred to his room once more, as despite what he’d told him, he still didn’t trust him. It wasn’t like Leon _wanted_ to lock him up by any means, but Hop had given him no reason to trust anything he said.

Even with a broken leg, broken arm, a pair of crutches he fumbled over anytime he attempted to walk, and a few bruises that left him worse for wear, Leon kept him in his room the days he had to leave for work. It was the same routine they’d been at for the past month, so if anything, Hop was at least used to it. But, that didn’t make Leon feel any better about doing that to him. At least this time, Hop wasn’t making a fuss about the entire thing, and seemed a bit more willing to go along with whatever Leon asked of him.

He often daydreamed about getting away like Raihan had said—taking an elongated vacation. Getting Hop out of the apartment would be a start anyway, but with his injuries, Leon didn’t want to put too much strain on him at the risk of causing him more harm than good. So for now, they would have to wait until Hop healed completely before Leon wanted to broach the subject.

After all, there was the fear Hop would freak out again and do something much worse than leap from the balcony, though what he could possibly do to cause Leon more grief, he didn’t even want to think about. It felt like the last month had been a roller coaster of emotions, high tension, and more grief than anything else. Although Leon had been happier than he’d been in a long time to have his brother up here with him, it wasn’t enough to stave off the guilt he had begun to feel eating at him every time he saw Hop.

Because every time, without fail, when he’d enter his bedroom, bringing him food, helping him stand with his crutches to get to the bathroom, having to essentially assist his brother with very basic tasks as a cause of his injuries, the despondent demeanor his brother had adopted was becoming too much to bear sometimes. It wasn’t like before, when he’d managed to get Hop to comply with things, but now it was as though his brother truly was going through the motions.

He ate. He slept. He showered and did all the things necessary for survival, but even Leon could see how there was nothing left in way of any willfulness or drive. There was no desire to do anything, and each time he walked in during the mornings to wake him from sleep, he could see an expression on Hop’s face that could only be described as disappointment. He looked as though waking up was a chore in itself, getting out of bed, eating the breakfast Leon made for him, having to be helped when he stood and made his way to the bathroom—it was as though Hop didn’t even want to be awake at all.

It only caused Leon to recoil with guilt. Each time he saw that expression, that empty look that suggested Hop didn’t want to move at all, he knew during the day when he left that his brother probably remained in bed the entire time. From the moment Leon roused him from sleep, taking care of his morning chores and the like, Hop barely spoke a word, only answering when Leon asked something of him, only responding when necessary, and only moving when Leon encouraged him to do so.

But, when he came home in the evenings, Hop was still in bed. The telly was always off, his game console remained untouched, and even his Wooloo plush on his bed looked as though he hadn’t moved it in weeks. Sometimes, Leon thought he even caught the remnants of Hop’s swollen eyes, as though he’d been crying for hours on end. As far as Leon was aware, Hop climbed back into bed when he locked him up, and remained there all day. Unmoving, no motivation, no zest for life.

He was simply breathing and existing.

Try as he might, Leon couldn’t seem to snap him out of it. He had wanted to be kinder to him, though as much as he wanted to let Hop know just how much he had hurt him before, all those ugly emotions had disappeared at some point. Leon couldn’t bring himself to be angry about it, or even sad anymore, despite how the spot on his temple had scarred, only serving as a reminder for the events that transpired. He wanted Hop to be happy, and he would have done anything to see him smile again, to see that he was willing to get out of bed and do something other than wallow in pity.

He hated it. He hated seeing his brother this way. And sometimes he got frustrated with him without meaning to. The times he came into his room, mindful of his bandages, careful so as not to worsen his injuries, when Leon wanted to have sex, he was always so turned off by the sight of Hop’s face alone that he snapped at him without meaning to.

“Can you _please_ stop looking like that?”

“…sorry.”

Even when Hop would grow hard underneath him as Leon pleasured him, his face was always scrunched up while he cringed. He always looked as though Leon were doing something absolutely deplorable, if not evident by his face alone, but at least Leon enjoyed the way he blushed while he did things like this, he just—

Fucking Hop _always_ felt good. It felt good the first time he’d ever done it, and it still felt good, but now Leon knew he was wanting more, wanting Hop to engage just _a bit_ more. Nothing too demanding, but he at least wished Hop would tell him he liked it. Or at least did something other than cringe when he fucked him. Anything, really.

It wasn’t like Hop was fighting him anymore, but Leon hated how he just lie there and took it. At least before there was some enjoyment out of hearing the way he moaned, the bashful way he would cover his face, and Leon enjoyed embarrassing him when he got off way too easily on his cock alone, but Hop did the bare minimum when they had sex. Even if Leon was so turned on that he climbed over to him, precum already staining his pants, because he was too excited when he kissed Hop, even during times like that, seeing his brother’s face, seeing him grimace below him like that made him frown.

If he would just…like it. At least _pretend_ to be a bit more enthusiastic, Leon wouldn’t snap at him sometimes, wouldn’t grow frustrated with him when Hop wasn’t reacting the exact way that he wanted, but he couldn’t blame him. Leon knew he had been through a lot, and he was trying to be patient, he really was. He didn’t want to push Hop and end up hurting him just because he was horny.

But it was so hard sometimes. It was hard to see his brother devoid of life, reduced to a shell of his former self, and Leon had been avoiding his eyes more often than not lately. It hurt to look at him like that, knowing how miserable he was, knowing how desperate Leon was to try and make things up for him, but seeing no results. It was becoming apparent the more the weeks passed, the slow way Hop healed, the more Leon was losing his patience with him.

Even when his brother turned fifteen, his birthday a few weeks after the entire hospital ordeal, Leon had taken it upon himself to make a cake for him, buy him a new set of clothes, and a bunch of other little gadgets and whatnot, all in an effort to hopefully spark some life back in him. Leon was no chef by any means, but even he was proud of how the cake turned out, inviting Hop over at the table while he gave him all his presents, tried to lighten the mood anyway he could.

But, his brother made no effort to engage. Leon hadn’t wanted to get mad at him, he bit his tongue the entire time, because he hated being the one to have to bark orders at him just to get Hop to do _something_. He hated having to tell him to open a present, get a piece of cake, because Hop refused to do anything of his own volition.

Leon didn’t simply want him to obey for the sake of obeying. His brother wasn’t a dog, he still had his own free will, but he wouldn’t act on it. Hop did nothing unless Leon said so, and he couldn’t seem to snap him out of it no matter what he did.

Threatening to lock him up if he didn’t comply was only an empty threat nowadays. Hop spent most of his time locked in his room, doing nothing, saying nothing. Anytime Leon wanted sex, he lay back and allowed him to do whatever he wanted, no matter how degrading it might have been to Hop, even if Leon asked him to touch him, Hop complied, though with more stiffness than hesitance.

There was no feeling into it at all. If he ordered Hop to grab his cock, Hop would do it. If he told him to run his hands over him and squeeze his ass while Leon straddled him, Hop did so without protest. Nothing was off the table, but even though there were a plethora of things Leon wanted him to do to him, he couldn’t bring himself to ask, because he wanted Hop to do things like that of his own accord.

Ordering his brother to suck his cock wasn’t in Leon’s interest, despite how much he would have loved it, it didn’t set right with him. With there being no willingness there in the first place, he knew it would only make him feel guilty in the end, so he settled for simple touches, asking Hop _nicely_ to touch his chest, give him a kiss, and things like that. But, Leon knew if he ever ordered Hop to do something like that, that his brother would do it only because he asked him to.

But Leon couldn’t. All he wanted was for Hop to enjoy himself as much as he did anytime they had sex, but it was obvious by the way he sat there and took whatever Leon did that he was merely going through the motions, not really enjoying any of it, but simply doing it because that’s what Leon wanted.

It wasn’t just the sex. Things that should have been second nature, very simple things like eating food and showering, Leon had to keep reminding Hop to take care of himself, because it became apparent very soon that his brother wouldn’t budge unless Leon made him. It wasn’t just about taking care of him anymore, but more like—

Like Leon had become tasked with simply keeping him _alive_.

And it hurt. It killed him to see his brother like this. Doing things like throwing him a small birthday party, making a cake for him, even while Leon tried his hardest to remain positive and light-hearted, there was nothing there from Hop. No expression of joy from all the presents, no happiness from eating cake—nothing.

“Hop, I wish you’d act a bit more enthused.” And still, times like these, Leon couldn’t help it when he snapped at him. It was frustrating seeing him so down on himself, it was frustrating to see him deteriorate until Leon had to make sure he was eating again, doing things like getting up to use the bathroom, and the like. It was frustrating having to be the one to make sure Hop didn’t kill himself because he refused to do basic tasks.

He tried not to blame him. He tried to bite down some of the things he wished he could say, but Leon was growing tired from all this. Tired of worrying over him, tired of seeing Hop lose the will to live every single day. Leon was so _tired_.

“…sorry,” was one of the more common replies Leon got from him regularly. All Hop did was apologize when Leon snapped at him, but his brother gave no effort to fix his mistakes when he did.

But, Leon didn’t want to get angry about it. He didn’t want this situation to devolve into something terrible where all he did was force his brother into submission. “I just want you to enjoy yourself. It’s your birthday, you should be happy.”

Hop gave a small nod, before picking at his slice of cake. Leon knew he wasn’t a great cook by any means, so all he had to go on was the packaged boxes of cake mix he could find at the supermarket. They were easy to make, relatively fast to cook, and he picked out a chocolate one, hoping that Hop would enjoy the sweetness of it, but even though Leon didn’t think the cake tasted bad by any means, there was a definite hesitance when Hop sat down to eat with him. Like he was waiting for the okay, for Leon to let him know when he could eat and when he should stop, but he frowned at him soon enough, imploring him to dig in.

Eat all he wanted. It was his birthday, so Hop should have been indulging. As he watched his brother pick at his cake with his fork, only taking small bites every once in awhile, Leon couldn’t help but sigh. “You know, you don’t need my permission for every little thing, Hop.”

For the first time in weeks, Leon heard a snort from him. It was the first time he’d heard his brother ‘ _laugh’_ since he’d been in the hospital, though calling it a laugh was an overstatement. It was one of those tired sounds, no emotion from it, but despite that, Leon could see it in his brother’s expression alone from across the table that he was doing so out of obligation more than his own accord.

“I guess I don’t really know what to do anymore.” Digging into his cake, Hop finally took a real bite out of it, satisfying Leon for now at least when he began to eat instead of looking to him every second for orders. Ugh, he hated thinking of making his brother do something as normal as eating to make sure he didn’t die was ordering him around. Just because Leon had to force him to eat didn’t mean he was doing something wrong. He was helping him. Hop had been through a lot and he knew that, and he was trying to be patient, he really was, but it was hard sometimes when he wished he would snap out of it already.

“Just eat up. You can eat as much as you want. You can eat the whole damn cake, I don’t care.” That came out a bit nastier than Leon intended for it to, but he was just trying to reassure his brother that everything was okay and he didn’t need Leon’s constant permission to do anything.

He wasn’t a prisoner. He wasn’t a guest either. He lived here just like Leon, and Hop had just as much free reign around the apartment as Leon did. Even if he had to lock him up during the day, it was only because Leon was afraid of him running off again. It wasn’t his fault he couldn’t trust his brother anymore. Not after watching him jump off the balcony and thinking he had died. Leon just didn’t want to go through anything like that ever again. That wasn’t wrong of him to worry for his brother’s safety.

They ate in awkward silence for a bit, Hop actually taking the initiative to grab another piece of cake, surprising the hell out of Leon when he did so, but he wasn’t about to complain about it. As his brother ate, the telly droned on in the background, some comedy show playing, but neither of the pair were paying a bit of attention to it. It was just background noise.

When Hop suddenly broke the silence, Leon having zoned out at some point, it snapped him back to reality to hear his brother speak to him. “Um—can I ask you something?”

It took him way too long to gather himself and sit up straight from where he’d had his elbow propped up on the table. Awful manners really, he had slumped into the position without even realizing, but he stiffened back against his chair, giving Hop his attention and arching his eyebrows. “Of course. What’s on your mind?”

At first, Hop didn’t respond, merely poking his cake once more with his fork, not taking a bite, and refusing to look up at Leon. He thought he might not speak at all, but Hop finally sucked in a quick breath before opening his mouth. “Do you regret bringing me up here?”

Leon snapped back, eyes wide and his cheeks a little flushed for some reason that he couldn’t explain. Where in the hell did _that_ come from? “What, of course not, Hop! I love having you up here with me.”

Hop shrank back in his seat, his shoulders bunching up when he looked incredibly uncomfortable then. It was as though he were trying his hardest to fold his body inward, appear as small as possible. “Even…” He swallowed. “Even after you know how I really am?” Still pulled into himself, no longer appearing interested in his cake, Hop set his fork down. He had to eat left-handed because of his sling, and while it was awkward for him at first, as the weeks passed by, Hop got used to it. He adapted.

“What do you mean how you really are? Hop, you’re _you_. You’ve always been you. I already know the real you.” The more this conversation went on, the more confused Leon got as to where Hop was going with this. He still refused to look up at him, caved into himself across the table as though still trying to shrink in size, but he shifted in his seat a little before speaking again.

“But I…” Biting his lip, Hop pinched his brows when he trailed off for a moment. “I can’t do anything right. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Hop, what on earth are you talking about?” Leon leaned forward, putting both elbows on the table as he did so, wishing Hop would look up at him, but he didn’t budge. Never had Leon ever taken Hop to have such low self worth like this, but it also made sense in a way. Leon had left home at a young age and become the champion, remained undefeated for years, only for Hop to chase after him to try and catch up, to become the next champion, and he failed. There was no doubt in his mind Hop had suffered a blow to his pride because of that, and Leon was sure Mum probably didn’t help matters, but he tried not to think about her all that much anymore.

But, maybe this had to do with all that had happened recently. Hop was depressed, he knew he was, and Leon was trying his hardest to remain patient with him, remain caring and loving, but it was obviously affecting him as well. He knew he had snapped at him a few times, only because he wanted him to eat, but it wasn’t because he loved him any less. Leon was just worried about him, worried for his health, and he wanted him to get better fast.

“Don’t talk down to yourself like that. I know you’re doing the best you can, and I know it’s been hard on you.” Not like Leon could have helped a bit more with it, but he quickly threw that thought away. “I love having you live with me. It makes me happy seeing you everyday, having you up here, getting to eat and talk with you like this. I love it. I love every moment I spend with you, Hop. I just want you to be happy, too.” It was the truth, Leon was genuine with his love, with his feelings for Hop. Just because things were strained didn’t mean his feelings had changed. 

“Would you have…” Hop bit his bottom lip, finally rising his face up, his eyes downcast, but not so folded into himself like he was. “Would you have still brought me up here, even knowing everything that was going to happen? Even if you knew the things I would say and do, even if you knew what would happen with Mum?” Clenching his fists then, Leon could tell Hop was trying his best not to break down and get emotional and he spoke through gritted teeth. “Would you have still wanted me up here with you?”

“Of course I would have.” Leon didn’t even have to think of his response. It would have been the same answer regardless, and it would always be the same answer. Standing from his spot, Leon pushed his chair back, crossing the way until he was standing next to his brother. He crouched down on his knees to get level with his face before placing his palm on his thigh and giving him a gentle squeeze of reassurance. “Hop, _I love you_. It doesn’t matter to me all that’s happened. I’m not going to change my mind about you. Even if I knew all the things that were going to happen, even with Mum, I would have still killed myself getting you up here with me. There’s things I’d love to go back and change, of course there are—but I don’t regret it either.” Another gentle squeeze when he tried offering Hop a smile, but his brother wouldn’t look at him. “I’ll always love you, Hop. No matter what you do, where you go, even if you ran away to the ends of the world, even if you say you hate me, even if you do horrible and hurtful things, I will _always_ love you.”

There was a long silence between them, filled only by the background noise of the telly, but it was so indistinguishable, that it may as well have been white noise. Hop said nothing at first, but he unraveled from his hunched position, and closed his eyes. When he finally opened them, they were a bit glazed, and he appeared to be staring at nothing at all, but he nodded at Leon who still had his palm on his thigh. “Okay…” It was an affirmation, but the way Hop said it seemed more like some type of resignation. Though, Leon gave him another smile before he straightened up a little, closing the distance between them and giving himself an extra bit of height back over Hop.

Leon bit his lip, feeling his own cheeks grow hot. “Hop, I know it’s your birthday, and I have a special surprise for you—don’t worry.” Though, he already knew that Hop knew what kind of ‘ _special’_ surprise he meant. Once they were done eating, Leon had planned to take Hop to his bedroom and—well. Leon would be on his knees like this again spreading open Hop’s legs before too long. It had been awhile they had taken their time when they fucked, and Leon wanted to take extra good care of him tonight. They had the entire night to go slow, enjoy the feelings and sensations, and he planned to make sure Hop loved every second of it.

Hop didn’t react right away, but Leon continued when he gauged no reaction from him.

“But…Hop, would you please kiss me?” The way Leon’s cheeks grew warmer at the sheer desperation in his voice made him a bit embarrassed, but he couldn’t help it.

And finally, a reaction. His brother turned his gaze toward him, way too slow, and Leon could see that tired look in his eye. Usually when he asked this of him, Hop obeyed without question, but Leon had hoped with the conversation that just took place, they had come to a mutual understanding. Maybe Hop would see where he was coming from now. He hoped anyway.

Hop seemed to melt into his seat in heavy resignation, but he didn’t protest either. Though, Leon couldn’t deny the stiff way he moved as he turned in his seat, mindful of his cast and sling as it caused some awkward maneuvering, but eventually Hop was seated sideways in his chair, facing him head on now, and made no attempt to make eye contact before he leaned out to move toward Leon’s face.

“Wait.”

Hop paused, and Leon could see his cheeks gush red when he’d made him stop so close that their noses almost touched. Leon couldn’t help but blush anytime Hop moved into him like this. Having to do this almost all the time was like second nature, but when Hop did it, when Hop kissed him, it made Leon weak. It never ceased to amaze him the amount of power Hop had over him, to make him gush just from kissing him, but it did. Every single time.

Leon gave him a playful smirk. “Sorry, I’m not trying to be so demanding, but could you touch my face when you do it? Go slow.”

Normally, he would be annoyed at having to give him orders like this, but right now, Leon was desperate for Hop to be the one to kiss him, and if he had to resort to telling him what to do, then so be it. He knew Hop would comply. He always did nowadays.

A bit hesitant, but not stopping, Hop leaned up in his chair until he was face level with Leon once more. Taking his good hand, he reached out, touching Leon’s face with his palm, and he noted immediately how cold it was as Hop cupped his cheek, his face gushing with more heat at the contact alone. His smirk turned into a wide grin when he leaned forward a bit to make it easier for Hop, but when his brother had barely brushed his lips against his, Leon pulled back.

“Wait, I want you to look at me.” His stomach fluttered. “Please, Hop?”

And when his brother’s face lifted up, eyes still lidded and glazed but staring into his own, Leon felt the warmth from his face spread all the way to his chest, his stomach, and he almost moaned with pleasure when Hop pressed his mouth to his while looking at him. He used to be so shy about this, and to a degree, he _still_ was, but Leon had asked this of him enough that he could tell he was getting used to it. When before he’d pull away so quickly, wipe his mouth, or avoid eye contact, now he made sure to cup Leon’s cheek as gently as he could, his kiss light, but not fleeting. Hop didn’t get flighty like he used to, but he sat there, kissing Leon slow and deliberate just like he asked, and Leon reached up to grab hold of his hand that was on his face.

He linked their fingers, pulling away from the kiss before Hop could, and smiled at him, feeling the heat gush from his cheeks all the more when he could see the faintest patches of blush on Hop as well. “Thank you. You’re doing such a great job, Hop. I love you.”

His brother didn’t respond, but he didn’t have to. Hop merely nodded, his eyes finally down casting again to stare off at some random spot on the floor. Bringing his brother’s hand to his own mouth, Leon gave him a small kiss to his knuckles before scooping his brother up and taking him to the bedroom.

* * *

About a month and a half had passed since Hop’s hospitalization. The weather around Wyndon was in that weird state of being freezing during the morning and evenings, but warming up a bit during the day, so there had been no snowfall for the past couple of weeks. It had been long enough that Hop could take the sling off his arm, his arm fully healed, and his leg was almost fully healed as well. Another week perhaps and he wouldn’t have to wear a cast or any bandages anymore. Little by little, Hop was gaining back the strength in his arm, having been wrapped up like it had been, he couldn’t do some things left-handed, but Leon was surprised how resilient he was, adapting to the change in no time, and he had even begun writing with that hand.

Leon joked at him that he could continue until he was fully ambidextrous, but Hop seemed relieved enough he had the use of both arms once more.

Hop had started doing things on his own, little by little, he had quit relying on Leon for every little thing like he had been, even though Leon had continued to keep him locked in his room while he was off at work, once he returned home to let him out, Hop seemed much more eager to eat dinner with him, though not quite as enthusiastic as Leon had hoped he’d be.

It surprised him to see Hop coming around bit by bit, even if it was something as simple as getting himself something to eat from the kitchen, Leon would encourage him to continue.

Progress was still progress after all, no matter how small.

Despite how anytime Leon wanted anything intimate with him, he still had to coerce Hop into doing anything, he knew it wouldn’t be long before he got him to the point he was _begging him_ for sex, but for now, he was happy just to be able to wrap his arm around his brother, lead him into his room, and fuck him on the mattress without so much as an ounce of resistance.

Sometimes he still covered his face, but Leon didn’t press him about it. In a way, Hop was just bashful, even after all the times he’d seen him naked, there was absolutely nothing left to hide between them, but it made Leon chuckle to himself to think after all they’d been through, Hop was still embarrassed about being intimate with him. It was cute, endearing, and he didn’t mind at all if he stayed that way a bit longer.

While he still felt bad that he had to lock him up during the day, Hop had gotten used to it by this point, and the mornings Leon fed him breakfast, giving him a quick kiss before he left, Hop would sometimes respond with a quieted, “…see you later,” before Leon waved and was off.

Little things like that got him through the day much faster, though also made him wish he could skip work and get back to Hop all the more. Whatever other small steps of progress he could afford to make, Leon hoped he continued improving. It wouldn’t be long that he would be fully healed, and Leon could start packing their bags to leave. He hadn’t brought it up to him just yet, as he was afraid Hop would relapse and all the hard work they had done the past month would be crushed just like that, but he could begin to ease him into it. He just feared another freak out and Hop doing something much worse this time.

But, the idea of Hop coming around eventually, getting so comfortable with him that he climbed into his lap, kissed Leon without being asked to—thoughts like that made Leon incredibly happy to think about.

It was Saturday evening when Leon was planted on the sofa watching the telly, dinner cooking off in the kitchen while Hop was in the bathroom taking a shower. The news report only brought to light the fact it would continue to get warmer, and Leon knew once spring was in full swing, more and more trainers would begin to show up at the tower. It probably wasn’t a good idea to take a vacation when he knew he would have an increased workload, but he couldn’t be bothered to really give a shit. Nobody would question him if he took a leave for his brother’s health.

His phone buzzed next to him as Leon let out a sigh, and he picked it up without looking at it, knowing it was Raihan. He hadn’t hung out with him and barely spoke to him since the hospital visit, but he texted him at least once a week. The texts from him were always the same.

‘ _hey champ hows the kid?’_

Pulling open the little keyboard, Leon texted back. ‘ _Doing much better, thanks. Another week and he’ll get to take the cast off his leg.’_

_‘awesome! we should go out and celebrate when that happens what do u say?’_

_‘Sounds great.’_

_‘cool i’ll see if i can open my schedule for u ;-)’_

Leon rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help but snort out a laugh. ‘ _What schedule? When there’s no gym challengers, you barely do anything.’_

_‘aw champ come on I do tons of stuff :-(‘_

Before Leon could respond with a retort of his own, Raihan suddenly texted back much faster than before, the tone in his messages suddenly turning urgent.

‘ _ok while i just wanted to know how the kid was doing there’s smth else i gotta talk to u about’_

_‘Okay what is it?’_

_‘i didn’t know what to tell her but the kid’s friend, gloria right? is looking for him. said he won’t answer any of her texts and she can’t reach him on the phone.’_

All of the blood drained from Leon’s face at the sight of that name, and he froze, his palms sweaty as he clutched onto his phone. He got lightheaded and his stomach churned from the sight alone until he thought he might throw up.

_‘she’s been reaching out to me and i told her there’s some family stuff going on with you two but that the kid was going through a lot. sorry didn’t know what else to say but she’s real distraught about it. said she can’t contact the kid for nothing and she’s real worried about him. Sorry i didn’t tell u but i didn’t think it was that big a deal’_

The longer Leon sat reading Raihan’s texts, the more his blood ran cold, and he was almost shaking as he sat there, his legs feeling like jello and sweat prickling at the back of his neck. For a moment, his brain refused to function and he didn’t know what in the fuck he was supposed to say to Raihan, his fingers trembling as they hovered over the keyboard while his friend continued sending messages.

_‘but i assured her the kid is fine, just going through some stuff. but, maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea for her to come visit?’_

_‘No.’_ His reply was immediate, and Leon swore to himself through his teeth at how quickly he shot down Raihan. That wasn’t suspicious _at all_ , but he was letting his emotions get in the way of his rationale. But, he wouldn’t know how to begin to explain himself if Raihan ever found out he was jealous of a teenaged girl simply because his little brother had a crush on her at one time. ‘ _I mean’_ His hands still trembling, he fought hard for an excuse, but settled on what could be considered the truth. _‘I doubt Hop even wants to see her. They had a falling out too and I don’t think it would be good for his health if he were to see her right now.’_

In no time flat, Raihan had responded, almost mere seconds after Leon typed what he did. ‘ _Leon is there something you want to tell me?’_

At the sight of his full name, Leon froze again, not knowing why especially when Raihan called him that, it never failed to make him feel like he was doing something wrong. Like a parent scolding their child, he quaked a bit at the sight of his name, and struggled for how to reply. ‘ _No? I’m just telling you what I think.’_

_‘because gloria told me about that too. said the kid came to her and confessed his love to her, but he freaked out when she rejected him and ran off and she ain’t seen him since.’_

The longer he sat there staring at the text, the more Leon’s anxiety was skyrocketing, until his chest felt constricted and he was pretty sure he was going to vomit.

_‘sorry i ain’t trying to pry or nothing but i’m just confused about what’s going on. this isn’t like you to be so standoffish and reclusive. i know you said you guys were having problems with your mum but i’m just struggling to make sense of what’s up because if something is wrong i wanna help. i’m worried is all.’_

_‘It’s none of your business.’_ He didn’t mean for that to come off as rude as it had, but it was the truth. Raihan was digging into something that didn’t even concern him, but Leon was pissed as fuck he had even told that girl anything about what was going on. She’d spent all this time trying to find Hop? After rejecting him? What the hell was that all about? It wasn’t like rejecting Hop’s confession meant she _hated_ him by any means, but Leon was thrown for a loop she was going around snooping into things that didn’t concern her either, even reaching out to Raihan of all people for information. Why did Raihan wait till _now_ to tell him all this?

Rising up off the couch, Leon’s throat tightened when he saw Raihan trying to text him back, but he tossed the phone back down on the cushion, his heart pounding, chest constricting, and if he didn’t calm down right now, he knew he was going to freak out and do something he regretted. Instead, he tore down the hallway, passing by the bathroom where he could still hear the shower going and see the steam rise from under the cracks, and he ripped open the door to his own bedroom. He knew that he was panicking, but he could do nothing to quell the pounding of his heart, the pain it was causing as he broke out into a cold sweat. Gripping his closet door by the handle, he threw it open before crouching down to his knees to a little set of boxed drawers he kept for miscellaneous things he had no other place for and pulled open the bottom drawer.

There sat Hop’s laptop and his phone. Leon had packed them away ages ago, and honestly forgot they were even here, but while he had planned to give them back to his brother eventually, he knew now that was out of the question. He swore through his teeth when he attempted to turn the phone on just for the battery to be dead. Of course, it had been months at this point, of course it was dead as fuck.

Heart still pounding, he quickly moved to his bedside table and fished around for his charger, plugging up Hop’s phone when he found it and waited impatiently for the damn thing to turn back on. Every second he waited for the screen to pull up was agonizing, and it felt like hours he stood there waiting before it finally showed him Hop’s lock screen, and he swiped it open. Just as he feared, there were several missed calls, along with a slew of texts, and he wasted no time opening the call log to see some unknown number had attempted to call Hop multiple times over the past several weeks.

The texts were from the same unknown number, but opening the first one he saw made him feel light-headed all over again.

‘ _Hop, it’s Gloria. Did you block my number? I can’t seem to get in touch with you. Sorry I know I’m the last person you probably wanted to hear from, but it’s been weeks and I haven’t heard from you at all. I just want to make sure you’re safe. Please call me if you can.’_

And then another.

_‘It’s Gloria again. I got in touch with Raihan and he told me you’ve been staying with your brother. I hope you’re doing okay. Please reach out if you can.’_

And yet another. Each message he read made his chest grow tighter and tighter, and Leon’s palms were coated in sweat as he read.

_‘Hop, please please please talk to me. I’m not trying to sound desperate but I’m so worried about you I can’t stand it. I know I hurt your feelings when I turned you down but you were already acting very strange before then. This isn’t like you. Something is wrong I know it please just let me know that you’re okay.’_

The last message from her was dated a week after Hop had been in the hospital.

_‘I talked to Raihan again and he said you’ve been in the hospital. He said as far as he knew you were doing okay but both you and your brother are dealing with a lot right now. I’m sorry I can’t be there for you but I hope this message reaches you. I think about you a lot. I just want to know if you’re okay. When you’re ready to talk, I will be here, or even if you don’t want to talk to me, I understand. You’re my best friend Hop I hope what’s happened between us won’t ever change that. I miss you. I hope you recover soon and that you’re doing well.’_

Leon swallowed as he read those texts, every word making his jealousy spike worse and worse. It had been so long he’d felt that jealous rage he once had before when Hop was still pining after her, but seeing her say things like that to him—it drove him over the edge and he dropped the phone as though it was made of fire. For her to try and reach him like this, even going to Raihan, Leon’s heart thumped, and he had a compulsion right then to snatch Hop away, pack their bags, and get the fuck out of Wyndon _right now_.

What if she knew? She knew something was wrong, but what if she told Raihan he had done something awful to Hop and that’s the reason he had been so depressed before? It was all lies, Leon knew that, but he stood on shaky legs as he made his way back down the hall, back toward his own phone as he pulled open a new message from Raihan, and his anger was still lulled into the back of his mind, as he tried so hard not to think about that girl.

_‘sorry if i upset you champ i just wanted to let u know. i didn’t mean to keep it secret or anything it just kinda slipped my mind and I wasn’t thinking. i know this is none of my business and i respect that. just wanted u to know the kids friend is worried and wants to see him is all but if you don’t think that’s a good idea then there’s nothing I can do for her anymore.’_

It was so stupid to be worried over something like this, but Leon couldn’t help but fear for the possibility of Gloria finding his apartment, reconciling with Hop, and stealing him away in the middle of the night. For him to be a grown ass adult feeling threatened by a teenaged girl, he really was fucked up. He wasn’t scared of her by any means, as Leon knew there was nothing she could do if she decided to go up against him, but the fact she might come try and whisk his brother back down to Postwick sent the most unpleasant shiver up his back and he couldn’t even bring himself to reply to Raihan.

There was no more waiting around. It was time to take Hop and leave, as soon as possible. Leon would skip work, spend the next week packing their bags and preparing, but the moment Hop got that cast off his leg, he was taking him away and never coming back. Leon would go as far away, maybe even get on a plane and leave the fucking region, but he couldn’t stay here. He knew he was freaking out, but he couldn’t help it, his heart was pounding so hard, and fuck the vacation idea, he just needed to get them out of Galar for good.

The shower turned off from across the hallway, and his heart pounded even harder when Hop emerged, dressed in his pajamas and smelling so thick of whipped cream that Leon thought he might pass out from both the scent and his anxiety. He turned to his brother, realizing that dinner was still cooking from the kitchen and beginning to burn, but he didn’t care. Whether Hop had a freak out or not, whether he protested, fought Leon tooth and nail, he had his mind made up right then and there.

The moment that cast came off, Leon was taking him far away. He would leave everything behind, his job, his contacts, his apartment, because none of that mattered when he had Hop. He would take the both of them far away, cut all his ties with the gym leaders, especially Raihan, and leave not one trace of them behind. He wouldn’t tell anyone where they were going, but he would make sure nobody would ever find them. He’d make sure if anyone ever tried to look for them, it would be as though they vanished into thin air.

Even if Hop hated him for the rest of his life, even if he tried to run away and said hurtful things to him, no matter what Hop did, Leon _loved him_ , and he would make damn sure nobody would stop them. They would go far away, a new place, no ties to anybody, and Leon would keep his brother by his side until the fucking day he died.

* * *

The amount of stress Leon experienced over the next week was excruciating. To his sheer surprise, telling Hop they were leaving didn’t gauge him as much of a negative reaction from his brother like he expected, but he was definitely surprised, Leon could tell. Though a bit stilted by the news, Hop had merely nodded and said nothing more on the matter. Leon’s high emotions were taking over, he knew, but he spent the next week packing like he planned, getting out their bags, stuffing them full of clothes, getting Hop to pack up anything he wanted, and taking what he thought they might could live off of for a bit until Leon found them a place to live.

It was Sunday. Hop was officially free from his cast and bandages, almost good as new despite how his leg had significantly weakened from not using it, but he was still managing to get around just fine, if not a bit slower. Leon swore through his teeth as he moved back and forth, trying to make sure they had the things that they needed, but he hadn’t been grocery shopping in almost two weeks, and his food supply was low. Hop needed some things of his own, but while he didn’t particularly _want_ to go anywhere, he bit down his annoyance despite it. There were just too many things they needed that he didn’t have right now.

They had planned to leave Monday morning. Bags packed, taking as much as they could fit on them, he had plans to get them to the station and on a plane out of Galar as quickly as possible. It really didn’t matter where. Just somewhere not here. Leon had absolutely no plan for what the fuck he intended to do once they left the region, but the sooner they got out of here, the better. Raihan would probably come looking for him, but Leon couldn’t be bothered to think about that now.

It hurt a little to think he was abandoning his friend, but the gratification of getting to be alone with his brother with no worries and nobody snooping in on their business made it worth it. He had already deactivated his phone number, the thing little more than a hunk of plastic that served as a second clock, but he would set it up with a new number and everything once they found wherever it was they were going. This plan was so sloppy, but all of his fears that Gloria was coming to take Hop away from him made Leon not care how little thought he was really putting into this. All that mattered was getting away.

Sunday evening rolled around, Leon having done all he could for now, and he stuffed some money into his pocket, planning to go out and buy a few more groceries before they turned in for the night. Hop was all packed and ready to go too, Leon still amazed by his compliance with all this. Seeing his brother so willing to leave with him now should have made him happy, but Leon would’ve been lying if he said seeing this much willingness from him didn’t put him on edge. He kept thinking Hop was probably hiding his true emotions, and going to freak out, but he tried his hardest to ignore his growing paranoia. As long as he remained complacent, he was satisfied.

“Is there anything you need other than shampoo and stuff?” He had walked Hop back to his room, his brother sitting on the edge of the bed while the telly droned on in front of him.

His brother shook his head, eyes unfocused as he stared straight ahead at the news report. “No.”

“Good. Remember to get some sleep. We’re gonna have to be at the station pretty early in the morning.”

“Okay.”

Leon turned to leave through the door, but stopped, hand on the handle before turning back around to face Hop. “Anything in particular you want for supper?”

A shake of his head. “No, doesn’t matter.”

Leon nodded, and gave Hop a quick smile. “Be back soon. Love you.”

It shouldn’t have hurt him the way it did to see his brother recoil into himself, obviously still bothered every time he said that, merely giving Leon a nod in place of a response, but he fought hard not to think about it. It hurt his feelings a little that his brother never said it back to him anymore, but Leon couldn’t dwell on insignificant things like that right now.

Closing the door behind him, Leon hooked the chain before turning the deadbolt. No more of _that_ once they were out of here either. He was tired of locking his brother up, despite still not fully trusting him to stay of his own accord, Leon hated the fact he had to keep doing this to him. But, it wouldn’t matter tomorrow. They’d soon be out of Wyndon, and out of Galar as a whole before too long. Leon was anxious to get out of here as fast as possible, but also excited for where they could go. Maybe somewhere a lot warmer like Unova, or if Hop wanted a more milder climate, they could go to Sinnoh. It really didn’t matter where they ended up, as long a they got the hell out of here.

The sun was only just starting to set when Leon took off, tearing down the street toward the supermarket. He had a list in mind for all that they needed to get, but most of it was food they could eat on the go, some things for Hop, and things for himself. They would need travel packs, all things like that, as he didn’t know where they might go, but if push came to shove, they could always camp out in the wilderness for awhile until Leon could get them settled somewhere more permanent. 

Leon spent about an hour and a half running around, fetching things here and there, before he finally came out into the streets once more, the sun having set until the streetlights were ablaze, casting a glow around the city that sparkled with the nighttime lights. Shifting the bags in his arms, Leon looked across the road to one of the fast food places and wondered if Hop would be okay with hamburgers for supper. It wasn’t his favorite, but food was food after all.

Just before Leon could cross the street and head over, a voice caught him off guard.

“Champ?”

He froze, turning behind him to see Raihan across the way. He was slouched in his position, one hand in the coat pocket of his hoodie and another holding a cigarette, but his expression was somewhat blank, throwing Leon off as he wasn’t used to Raihan greeting him with anything other than a toothy grin. Leon knew he hadn’t spoken to him in the past week, as he had deactivated his phone, he had no idea if Raihan had been attempting to reach him or not, but Leon hadn’t expected to see him out here. Maybe he was pissed at him for avoiding him this entire time?

“Oh—Rai.” He didn’t know what he was supposed to say, even as Raihan closed the distance between them, soon sidling up to him. He hadn’t made any mention of leaving, as he planned to cut all ties, but he wasn’t sure if he should even say _anything_ to him, or pretend like nothing was going on.

“Lovely evening, ain’t it?”

This…Leon had to blink in confusion, not used to seeing Raihan so—what was a good word? So uptight. Yeah, his friend was often relaxed and joked around a lot, but he seemed a bit too serious right now, even as he stood there taking drags of his cigarette. Normally he’d be giving Leon a hard time about something or other, but he wouldn’t even make eye contact with him. And that lovely evening comment was all the more strange. Raihan only dawdled with small talk when there was something on his mind.

“Y-yeah. I guess.” Leon felt awkward as he responded, feeling the tension suddenly grow thicker and thicker the longer he stood there holding onto his groceries. “Was just about to grab a bite to eat.”

“Before you do that, I gotta talk to you.”

Leon immediately seized up at that rather curt demand, but tried his hardest not to make out like he was starting to sweat. Did Raihan somehow find out about his plan to hitch a ride on a plane and get out of here? He hadn’t talked to anyone in the past week, and Hop hadn’t had access to his phone or anything as Leon had hidden it back in his closet, so there was no way he had talked to anyone either. Surely, Raihan wouldn’t reprimand him for wanting to leave, right? It wasn’t like it was any of his damn business anyway, as Leon had all the right to take off and leave whenever he wanted to. Raihan wasn’t his keeper.

“Uhh, okay,” was all Leon could manage. He was curious, but also worried for what Raihan was about to say, because he knew it had something to do with leaving. Raihan had a knack for knowing more than he let on, and Leon just wondered how he could have found that out, if he found out at all, and if he would be angry with him for attempting to go awol.

“Cool. Lemme take some of those bags for you.” Without waiting for Leon to respond, Raihan reached out, grabbing hold of the groceries in Leon’s hand, and hoisted them in his arm as though they weighed nothing. Turning, he began making his way past the supermarket, away from the fast food place Leon had just been trying to go to, but he followed behind him without question, though a little on edge if he was being honest.

In seconds flat, Raihan had led them around the corner of the building, in the alleyway behind the supermarket and with Leon giving him a confused stare as Raihan set the bags down next to his feet, he only gave him a shrug before speaking. “Nobody will bother us back here. Needed some privacy anyway.” Holding his cigarette between his fingers, he took another drag, and Leon set his own bags down to the side as he waited for Raihan to say what he had to say.

“What’s up?”

The silence that passed between them was growing awkward, and the longer Leon stood there watching Raihan smoke without so much as looking back at him, the more worried he was getting. As silly as his friend could get when they goofed off, he could be so needlessly intimidating when he wanted to be, and Leon would be lying if he said he didn’t feel incredibly small just then. When he swallowed, his throat tightened, and he could feel the tension getting worse as Raihan took a final drag of his cigarette.

“Wanted to ask you something.” And he finally looked up at him, his gaze so piercing Leon felt like he might as well have stabbed him with a physical object. “Have you fucked with that kid?”

The blood drained from his face, but Leon could’t help but arch his brow in response. His first instinct was to get defensive, but defensive against what, he couldn’t really say. He hadn’t done anything wrong. But, that accusing tone from Raihan made him light-headed, but that could have just been from his stare. Leon didn’t know. “What do you mean?”

“You know damn well what I mean.” And he flicked his cigarette butt to the ground, stepping on it before he closed the distance between them. It was only in that moment did Leon realize how much taller he was than him, and the sweat beaded his forehead in droves. He suddenly didn’t feel very comfortable being alone with him like this, and he didn’t understand _why_ when Raihan was his friend. He shouldn’t have been freaked out by him, but— “Have you fucked with him?”

“No? I don’t know what you mean by _fucked with_.”

“Really?” He gave a smirk, though the way he was looking at Leon suggested his tone was a bit more malicious than his smirk implied. Like he knew way more than he was letting on. “Because I think you do.”

Leon grew dizzy, and was pretty sure if he wasn’t glued to the ground by his own fear, he would have passed out. His body felt oddly warm, despite the chilly air and the sweat forming on the nape of his neck, he felt like he was way too hot. Why on earth was he acting like this? Despite these accusations being absurd, Leon knew he hadn’t done anything wrong, so why the hell was he shaking so bad all of a sudden?

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, Rai. I haven’t ‘fucked with’ him. I already told you, we’ve been going through—”

“That ain’t how he tells it.”

Leon froze, eyes shooting up to meet Raihan’s gaze before he could intimidate him into looking away, and he gave him a hard stare. “What?”

Raihan shrugged. “I had a nice long chat with him, Leon. I came by your place and let myself in. Weird how the kid has a deadbolt on his bedroom door like that. At first, I didn’t know what to think, but that kid looked downright _terrified_ when I went in there.”

His stomach churned and Leon wanted to throw up, but he couldn’t even muster enough energy to breathe, let alone move as Raihan continued to stare at him like he was getting ready to devour him.

“I hate to break it to ya, champ, but you ain’t exactly been actin’ all innocent like you think you’ve been. Think I haven’t noticed? You’re a terrible liar.”

The blood only drained from his face until Leon felt his knees buckle, sweat now trickling down his forehead.

“I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt, I really did. But—” A shrug, a way too casual shrug for the accusations he was spitting out at him. “You kinda dug yourself into a hole last weekend with all the stuff you said about not wanting the kid’s little girlfriend to come see him. You been acting weird for awhile, but that _really_ hit the nail on the head.”

And Leon hated— _absolutely hated_ the way he spoke about that girl, but even with his jealousy sparking in the back of his mind, he couldn’t bring himself to act on it. He was still frozen below Raihan’s gaze, and he didn’t dare move, though couldn’t help but pinch his brow back at him when Raihan continued.

“I have connections too, champ. Didn’t take long to dig up dirt on you, what with you missing work and deactivating your phone and whatnot—I had a couple people spy on you all week just to make absolutely sure before I made any rash moves, you know?”

He couldn’t help the small choked gasp that bubbled out of his throat at the sound of those words. Raihan had people following him? It chilled Leon to the bone thinking that he and Hop had been spied on without even realizing, and his legs grew all the more wobbly as this conversation only derailed.

“Waited till you left, and I wanted to talk to the kid firsthand. Took you fucking _long enough_ to leave him alone.”

A hard stare, and Leon could do nothing with those eyes on him, not even breathe. He had never felt so small in all his life. It was like Raihan could simply lift his foot and crush him if he really wanted.

“He wouldn’t say nothin’ to me at first, but I got him to come around.” A smile then, though it was nothing less but terrifying and made Leon’s blood run cold until he wasn’t sweating anymore, but shivering on the spot. “No wonder the poor kid tried to jump off the damn balcony like that. I was wonderin’ for so long what could have driven him to that, but I would have never _guessed_ it was because you were molesting him. Never took you for a pervert, champ, but here we are.”

“I didn’t—” He finally moved, coming to his own defense so quickly that it made his head spin and he almost toppled over when he fought to upright himself. “I didn’t _molest_ him, what the fuck, I—”

“Sure you didn’t. I don’t know, call me crazy, but—” Raihan shrugged, one hand still resting in his pocket as he never once broke his stare away from Leon, his smile growing increasingly unsettling the longer they stood there. “I doubt he’d lie about something like that. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you’ve changed as well. Wasn’t until Gloria came to me and started telling me things I even _thought_ to consider maybe you’re the reason for all those so-called ‘ _family issues_.’ You don’t go from being that happy kid that he was, to _that_ without something fucking up. You used to be like that too, but you turned into a recluse. But, fuck me for staying idle for so long, right?” Raihan rolled his eyes, but the way he shifted his weight onto his other foot and huffed gave the impression he was dragging himself with that last line more than Leon.

“Raihan, I didn’t hurt him!” His face was flushed when that awful feeling like a pile of rocks dropped into his stomach, and Leon was afraid he might throw up. “I’ve never hurt Hop, I love him!”

But, Raihan continued on, ignoring him. “I wanted to believe you, champ, I believed everything you said, but that was stupid of me. I’d seen the way that kid was acting around you, I fucking _knew_ something was up, but I never dreamed it was because you fucked him up—”

“I DIDN’T _FUCK HIM UP_ , RAIHAN!” And he was yelling, not meaning to, not meaning to get so heated, but Leon’s heart was pounding so hard in his chest that it was painful, that he knew he would throw up if he didn’t calm down soon, but he couldn’t move. Every cell in his brain was screaming at him to run, to get the hell away from Raihan, get back to his apartment, scoop up Hop in his arms, and get the fuck out of here _right now_.

Raihan only frowned at his outburst, not the least bit rattled by it as he still stood with stiff composure. “Is that why your mum freaked out on the two of you? She saw you going at him and went insane? Wonder what you told her to get her to kick the both of you out.”

Leon’s head was spinning, absolutely spinning and he was surprised he hadn’t collapsed to his knees right there. All these accusations that Raihan was spitting at him—it wasn’t true. None of this was true. “That’s none of your fucking business what happened with our mother, but dammit, I never _once hurt Hop_! You can’t stand there and say all these things to me when you have no idea what we went through! You don’t know him—you don’t know how shy he is about this type of thing, because he’s _ashamed_!” The longer he stood there yelling, the more heat flushed out of his face, until Leon was sure he was red all the way down to his neck, but he didn’t back down.

He wasn’t going to stand there and let Raihan accuse him of something he hadn’t done.

Leon stood tall, knowing he looked ridiculous trying to size up Raihan who towered over him, but he didn’t care. How fucking dare he say horrible things like that to him—Leon knew it wasn’t true. None of this was true. “I love him! I love him more than anything, I would never hurt him, and I don’t care what you tell people, but I’m taking him with me and we’re _never coming back_!”

And it was so quick, he had no time to react to it. Raihan’s fist collided with his face, the force behind it sent Leon toppling to the ground, blood gushing from his nose and he coughed on it when he fought to scramble back to his feet, but Raihan was too quick. Reaching down, he forcibly dragged Leon back up by the collar of his shirt, before punching him across the face yet again. Blood ran down the back of his throat and he coughed on it, spitting some of it out onto Raihan’s hoodie as he attempted to hold his hands in front of himself in defense, but Raihan only lifted him by his collar as though he weighed nothing before slamming him up against the nearby wall, causing Leon to see black in his vision when his head smashed against it.

“What happened to you, Leon?” And even despite this, despite holding Leon off the ground until the tips of his toes were brushing the asphalt, Raihan spoke with composure, his voice low and calm like he hadn’t just slogged him in the face and possibly given him a concussion. Leon’s heart only pounded harder at the sound of his voice, only realizing how fucked he was then as he tried to shake away the spots from his sight, dazed and his head pounding in agony from the impact. Raihan leaned into his face, until Leon could feel his hot breath on him, until he could smell the heavy scent of his cigarette until he felt like he was suffocating off it. “You go crazy somewhere down the road? Did having a little girl take your title away fuck you up or something?”

The way he said that eerily mirrored something Hop had once asked him a long time ago. How this whole mess started with the loss of his title, but he coughed again, tears coming to his eyes from the sting on his face as his nose continued to gush blood. “It’s not—it wasn’t the title! I love Hop, I’ve always loved Hop, Rai!”

“Then what in the fuck compelled you to lock the poor kid up like some kind of animal?”

“I never hurt him.” Eyes welling with tears, Leon blinked, and they spilled down his cheeks as he fought to make out Raihan’s stare through his then cloudy vision. “I only ever made love to him, I always made sure to never hurt him.” He swallowed, squinting his eyes when the sting was too prominent, and he tried to blink it away. His head felt like it was being split open, and every word he spoke, every time he blinked, every breath he took felt like it was unfiltered pain shooting from his body. “Nobody would understand, nobody would ever understand how much I loved him. He was just shy about it! I love him, Raihan, I know I do. I didn’t do anything wrong! I was scared he would run away—and I can’t live without him! I only ever made him feel good—I only ever fucked him because I knew he would love it.”

“Yeah, you know…” Raihan trailed off, his voice still low even after Leon had his spill, and his fist tightened the grip he had on Leon’s collar before he glared at him through lidded eyes, bearing straight into Leon’s, even from his cloudy vision, it was almost as though Raihan’s eyes were glowing in the darkness. “They call that rape, champ.”

“I didn’t…” Leon swallowed, gulping down blood when he did so and recoiling at the taste. Stinging tears only continued to fall down as he fought to blink them away to no avail. “I didn’t _hurt_ him. I never hurt him.” That was a horrible thing to call what Leon did to his brother. Why would Raihan say that to him? How could his best friend stand here and say those awful things to Leon? This was some mistake, this was some horrible prank, or a bad nightmare that Leon couldn’t wake up from, but—Raihan wasn’t accusing him of rape. It wasn’t _rape_. He never raped Hop. He would never do anything that horrible to his brother.

Try as he might, Leon couldn’t fight off the tears of pain and they fell each time he attempted to blink them away, but he was hurting so much already, still seeing specks of black flash in front of his eyes every once in awhile, but—

“Don’t call it that, Rai. He loved it.” He didn’t _rape_ him. Leon never hurt Hop, he knew he didn’t. This was all some horrible misunderstanding and Leon couldn’t figure out why his friend was so quick to believe lies like that about him.

Instead of responding, Raihan dropped him unceremoniously back to the ground where Leon stumbled for a moment, attempting to reach up and wipe away the blood from his nose, but Raihan’s fist collided with his stomach then, and Leon was forced down to his knees when the impact made him retch and he finally threw up. While he bent over, another barrage of punches came at him, Raihan holding nothing back when his fist collided with his face, his chest, his stomach, rearing his leg up to kick Leon when he attempted to stand back up. Every time Leon tried to hold his arms over his head, Raihan responded with another swift kick to him, until Leon was brought down to his knees, curled up in a fetal position as he tried to protect whatever he could from Raihan’s onslaught. Even on his side, folded into himself, Raihan kicked him until he was backed against the wall, having nowhere to run, no chances to stand and fight back.

All Leon could do was lie there and take it, and hoped that Raihan didn’t kill him.

It was like a lifetime Leon lay there, punches, kicks, anything and everything Raihan could pummel him with, he unleashed on him, and Leon felt every bit of it. Every kick, every stinging punch, he thought he felt the sensation of Raihan spitting on him at one point, he couldn’t be for certain, but he lay there, cowering as Raihan went wild on him, and it felt like hours he had kicked him over and over in the gut before finally pulling away, Leon still covering his face to protect himself should Raihan try to kick his face in. He really might accidentally (or maybe not accidentally) kill him if he kicked his head in too much.

When Raihan leaned away from him, Leon could hear his heavy breathing as he’d no doubt come at him with everything he had and overexerted himself, but he didn’t dare uncover his face just in case he wasn’t done yet. Instead, he heard his friend’s tired voice, huffing out air as he fought to catch his breath when he spoke from above him. “You know, I liked you, champ. I really did. We were mates, even if we got competitive, you were always fun to hang out with.”

Somehow, those words stung, and Leon didn’t know why they hurt like that. There wasn’t even anything inherently hurtful about them, but—the _way_ he said it. There was a shift in his tone that wasn’t even disappointment, but—

Outright _repulsion_.

“But.” Another intake of breath as he caught himself, and Leon finally braved to take his arm away from his head and looked up at him. Raihan was leaned against the nearby wall, still staring down at him, before he reached into his pocket for another cigarette. “But, I’m not gonna stand by and let someone, even if he’s my best friend, hurt someone while trying to excuse it as love.”

“I _didn’t—!_ ”

Before Leon could even get that sentence out, Raihan pulled back his foot and hooked it into his jaw, Leon gagging when he felt the blood pour from his nose once more, out his mouth, and his insides quaked when he winced. Everything hurt. Every part of his body stung and ached, his vision was blurry from tears of pain, and if something wasn’t hurting now, then he knew it would hurt later. He could only curl in again in an attempt to protect himself in case Raihan kicked him again, but he only breathed heavy before he leaned back against the wall, and Leon heard his lighter click when he lit his cigarette.

“Deny it all you want, champ. Like, not only did you rape your brother, but you held him hostage in your apartment for—what, three months? I ain’t no saint either, I know I stood by when you told me about the two of you, because I figured the kid was probably kinky as fuck. Maybe he was into some weird experimenting, but I wasn’t gonna judge him if he was.” He took a long, long drag before letting out a puff of smoke. “Maybe that makes me a criminal too.” A hint of regret wafted off his words.

“Rai…” Again, Leon drew his face up, blood still gushing from his nose. It just wouldn’t stop bleeding. Everything— _everything_ on his body hurt. He would have been surprised if Raihan hadn’t cracked a few bones while he was at it. “I-I love him. Please…”

“I have no doubt you do, Leon, but forcing yourself onto that poor kid wasn’t the way to go about it. I figured you’d have more sense than that, but it turns out—” Another drag, another pause as Raihan caught his breath. “You’re just a fucking _pervert_.”

Leon coughed, spitting out blood when he did. “Y-you don’t understand. He just—he was shy.”

“Is that what you call it?” Raihan shrugged, letting out a dry laugh. “You really have gone crazy, mate. Any normal person can discern between shyness and fucking straight up rejection. I don’t know what all you’ve done to that poor kid, but you ought to know he’s not at your apartment anymore.”

His face shot up, Leon feeling as though his head would split open when he did so. His eyes were swollen, and he had no doubt Raihan gave him a black eye, maybe even two. The flow of blood from his nose had lightened a bit, but he could still feel it dripping down the back of his throat when he pulled himself up. “Wh-what do you mean?”

And Raihan gave him a smile, taking a drag of his cigarette, the smoke spilling out of his nostrils when he did. “Took him away, what do you think? Poor kid was scared to death when I told him I was gettin’ him outta there.” Another dry laugh, another casual shrug of his shoulders. “Can’t deny I’m curious what all you told him for him to react that way. Probably told him a lot of shit so he’d stay good ‘n quiet, right?”

“ _Rai_ …” Despite the pain in his body, despite how broken he felt, how his stomach ached, his chest hurt, his arms and legs, despite how _everything_ hurt, Leon drew himself to his knees until he had crawled over to Raihan, blood dribbling down his face, plopping down on the asphalt, and he gripped hold of his pants leg when he looked up at him through the tears of pain. “P-please, Raihan, _please_ don’t take him away from me. I love him, don’t take him away from me—I—we were going to leave—we were going to—he was just shy about this, I wanted him to get comfortable—I never hurt him—I never once hurt him, Rai—I love him—”

“Shut up with your babbling. It’s so creepy.” Raihan merely shook his leg out of Leon’s grasp as he pulled himself up to his knees, sitting on them when more tears spilled, but they were out of sheer desperation this time instead of the pain in his body.

“Raihan, _please_. I-I love him.”

This wasn’t real. This wasn’t happening. Leon had fallen asleep and was having some fucked up nightmare, but this couldn’t have actually been happening to him. He refused to believe it, he refused to believe anything other than Raihan was fucking with him. He had to be. Leon was going to grab his groceries, walk back home, and Hop would still be there. Hop would still be sitting in his room, watching the telly, and he would smile at Leon when he entered through the bedroom door. Because he was excited about leaving with him—because Hop loved him.

He had told Leon in the hospital that he would stay with him. Surely that wasn’t a lie? Hop wouldn’t lie to him. Hop wouldn’t pretend to go along with this while he was actually suffering on the inside, would he? Leon refused to believe it. This was some sick joke Raihan was pulling. It _had_ to be. It was nothing more than a fucked up prank, a horrible dream, and Leon would go home, wrap up Hop in his arms, and take him away.

But, his friend merely shrugged, finishing off his cigarette before tossing it to the ground and stepping on it. “Sorry, mate. That’s the way it is. I got the kid all taken care of, so if you’re worried about him, don’t be. I’ll make sure he’s safe. Though, you of all people don’t deserve that kinda comfort right now, but it’s the least amount of mercy I’ll give you.”

Leon could only blink more tears away as he stared up at Raihan, and he closed his eyes. “Please.” It hurt. His chest hurt. His heart was broken, but Leon was quite literally broken in every sense of the word right now. His body ached, his head hurt, the blood from his nose was slowing down, but making him light-headed from the sight of it still dripping down his front and staining his clothes. He didn’t even have the energy to stand and fight back. “Raihan, don’t take him away from me. I can’t live without him. H-he’s my— _I love him_. I love him so much.”

Another shrug, so nonchalant, so dismissive that Leon wanted to scream how composed Raihan was when he was so close to breaking down. “Sorry, champ. Can’t help you no more. Kid didn’t like what you did to him and apparently doesn’t feel the same way you do. You can’t force that on him for the rest of his life.”

“But.” Tears fell when he blinked, and one of his eyes was almost swollen shut by this point, but Leon didn’t care. Everything hurt too much for him to care. “H-he needs me.”

“I think he’ll be just fine without you.” Then Raihan leaned off the side of the wall, staring down at Leon again when he did so. “You know, I could fuck you up way more if I really want. I ought to expose you to the public, get the police called on you and have you carted off to prison for the rest of your life, but then everyone would know what you did. Don’t get me wrong, you deserve that and more for all the shit you put that poor kid through, but…” He trailed off, giving Leon another dismissive shrug. “I can’t do that to him. If it ever came to light just _why_ his older brother had to be taken away and arrested, that would be something he’d have to live with forever and I know he’s been through hell enough already, so I won’t do that to him.” Then he sucked in air between his teeth, throwing his head back.

Leon was still on his knees, having lowered his head, his head pounding and making him want to throw up again from the pain. He couldn’t even bring himself to say anything anymore. Everything was starting to grow dark around him, and he feared he was losing consciousness from his injuries, but that fear was slowly dying away until Leon only felt numbness.

“I ain’t about to let you get off though. Sorry to say, but this is ending right now. I won’t publicly shame you for the kid’s sake, but just know if it weren’t for him, I’d make sure every city in Galar, every person who ever thought you were worth envying, every damn news station and person would know what you did.” He glared down at him. “Why don’t we put that plane ticket of yours to good use, huh? You ain’t the only one with connections, champ. Don’t forget that.”

Leon didn’t move, only continued to sit there on his knees, his body broken. His thoughts that had been racing before were slowing down, and he still wasn’t able to believe what was happening was real. Darkness was starting to prickle in his vision, and he knew he was probably about to pass out, but the way his body felt—so broken and empty—it would be a relief at this point.

Because everything hurt.

Leon’s body hurt, his heart hurt, and he wished he could switch everything off where he wouldn’t have to think about anything anymore. He wanted to cry for Hop, for his brother, he wanted to wake up to realize this had all been a nightmare, and Hop would still be there next to him, sleeping soundly, warm, and Leon would be frazzled at first, but soon he would brush it off, realize this was all a bad dream, and huddle close to Hop for his warmth as he settled back down.

If Leon said that enough times to himself, maybe he would finally wake up, and Hop would be right there. They would be on the plane out of Galar, away from everything, and they could live happily in another region somewhere. 

This was just a bad dream. A horrible, horrible nightmare.

The city lights were blinding above him as Leon’s strength gave out on him and he sank down onto his side, but he didn’t even feel the splitting pain in his head anymore. Maybe he really was dying, but it didn’t matter. His entire body hurt anyway, what was a little more pain than this? Nothing, not even Raihan beating him like he had, compared to the way his heart was ripped in half at losing Hop.

Leon didn’t know what to do. Couldn’t comprehend all that was happening as his vision faded faster and faster, as the darkness threatened to swallow him, as he suddenly felt like he wasn’t even living in real life anymore. He just—

Cried. Quieted tears spilled out as he lie there, as he struggled to stay conscious, because if he had known when he left the apartment that that was going to be the last time he ever saw Hop, he would have done something— _anything_ differently. He wouldn’t have bothered trying to get groceries. He would have taken Hop away much sooner, he would have pushed harder for it so that they could leave a lot quicker.

But, it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered now. He had been wrongfully accused of hurting his little brother, when he knew he hadn’t, when he wanted to think Hop knew that too. But, if what Raihan said was true and Hop had told him all those things—why would his brother lie to him about wanting to stay? Why would Hop go along with him when he didn’t really feel the same?

It broke his heart. Because all he had ever done was love him. All he would ever do was love Hop for the rest of his life, even if he was taken far away, placed in some prison, or wherever Raihan was planning to take him—it didn’t matter. Leon didn’t care where he ended up, if he rotted to death in prison, _he didn’t care_. He didn’t care about anything anymore. Nothing mattered.

He only felt numb.

Because he was never going to see Hop ever again, and he mourned for him, mourned for his love, for his passion, for the future they would never have, and Leon finally lost consciousness there in the alleyway.

The last faded thoughts he had were of Hop. How much he loved him. How he would probably die without him, how Hop needed him and would be lost without him. Let people say these horrible things about him. Let them smear his name and call him a rapist, Leon didn’t care. Leon knew the truth. He knew he never hurt his brother. He wasn’t going to apologize for that.

And he would never apologize for loving him when he knew deep down he had _never_ hurt him. Whatever lies these people believed, there was no changing their minds, no fixing what had been done. Even then, even now, Leon knew.

It was over. Everything was all over.

All Leon had ever done was love his baby brother, and he would never, _ever_ apologize for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT: there will be ONE MORE chapter, but think of it as an epilogue. While this is still technically the end of the fic, after some discussion i came to the conclusion to have a bit more closure for this, so next chapter will essentially wrap this whole thing up with a big bow, etc, etc. 
> 
> It’s Hop’s time to shine, my lads ;)
> 
> Thank you guys so much for all your support. Everyone who has left kudos, comments, to everyone who’s reached out to me on twitter—thank you so much, I appreciate every bit of it!
> 
> I’ll see you all at the finale!


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take it away, Hop!

“Is there anything you need other than shampoo and stuff?”

Hop sat at the edge of his bed, his gaze focused to the telly as it carried on about the weather, but he wasn’t soaking up any of the information at all. Wasn’t there supposed to be rain tomorrow? When did he hear about that? Hop couldn’t remember anymore, but even Leon’s voice from across the room seemed like something that could easily fade away if he were to zone out enough.

Oh, that’s right. Leon just asked him a question. Hop had barely registered that his brother was even talking to him, as he stared ahead, his mind a bit numb to say the least, but he perked up enough to remember he was supposed to answer. While still not really paying much attention to him, Hop shook his head before opening his mouth. “No.” As long as Leon didn’t press him too hard, Hop could usually get away with these one-worded answers. Sometimes, his brother would press him to speak more, but Hop couldn’t be bothered to most of the time. What did he even care what he had to say anyway? It wasn’t like Leon ever gave a shit when he told him anything—it wasn’t like he listened, or tried to listen, anytime Hop spilled his heart out to him.

He only heard what he wanted to hear. But, there wasn’t anything Hop could do about that. He had backed himself into this corner a long, long time ago, and he only had himself to blame for the way things ended up happening. Hop could have done something—anything, and maybe he wouldn’t be here. Maybe Mum wouldn’t have kicked him out—maybe Gloria wouldn’t have rejected him—he didn’t know anymore. He tried not to think about things like that, but even after all this time, his thoughts never failed to drift right back to those memories.

“Good. Remember to get some sleep. We’re gonna have to be at the station pretty early in the morning.”

Those words made Hop curl into himself, though he was sure Leon hadn’t noticed. He had trained himself not to react whenever things like that made him cringe, but he answered despite the way it felt like someone was holding his head underwater and he wasn’t allowed to fight for air. “Okay.”

His brother turned then, stopping just as he placed his hand on the handle, and whipped back around to him. “Anything in particular you want for supper?”

Why in the hell did he bother asking him things like this? It annoyed Hop more than anything when Leon tried to act like he had a say in matters like that—when he knew fucking well he never had a say. Leon didn’t care what he wanted. He didn’t care what he had to say. Why bother asking him something like that only to give him false hope that he even had a choice to begin with?

This was just pointless banter.

So, he shook his head. “No. Doesn’t matter.” Because it really did not.

From out the corner of his eye, Hop could see Leon nod before smiling at him. When he spoke, his voice was all too familiarly coated with that softness he often spoke at him with—but Hop knew how fake it really was. It was almost like Leon was two different people sometimes, and it scared him. To be so gentle and speak to him this way only to glare down at him and hold him to the bed if he dared fight him, it was so misleading. Hop knew all too well how Leon could get if he didn’t get his way. “Be back soon. Love you.”

He really did cringe then, but forced a nod to satisfy him, not meaning to let his true emotions show. He knew his brother would frown upon this reaction, but he really could not help it. What the hell did Leon expect of him by this point? He was already trying his hardest with this—trying his hardest every damn day that he woke up not to go crazy while he slowly rotted in this bedroom, but nothing he did was ever good enough for Leon. He feared his brother holding him down and forcing him into submission like he had done time and time before—as nothing Hop did ever mattered. Even when he fought, he lost, no matter how loud he screamed, how much he pushed back, Leon always forced him right back down until Hop felt like he was drowning.

That’s the way it had been, and that’s the way it would always be.

For a moment, he tensed when he thought Leon would reprimand him for his reaction, but instead, his brother just let himself out of his room before he could hear the all too familiar sound of the chain being hooked and the deadbolt clicked into place. A shuffle of his footsteps as he crossed the living room, the front door opened and closed, another click from that lock, and Hop was alone.

He should have been used to being alone by this point, but he never was. It wasn’t like he missed Leon’s company by any means, but there was a strange feeling to being left alone here like this all the time that Hop couldn’t _help_ but wish Leon would come back. Even if it was him, even his stupid older brother, companionship was better than isolation. At this point, Hop just dealt with it, though he often found himself sitting at the edge of the bed, much like he was doing now, after being left alone, and gazed out his window.

It was too small for him to try and climb through, as he had already been down that awful route before. At least he wanted to think he had something to look out at all when he got bored watching the telly or twiddling his thumbs, at least he could watch people walk around the city. Too many times had Hop tried to pound the window, call for help, all the like when he thought he might could get someone’s attention, but it never worked out in his favor. The city was always too bustling, always too loud, and people were always so engrossed into their personal matters that they never bothered to look up and see him trying to wave and get their attention, or call out to them.

Hop had given up calling for help a long time ago. In the end, all he received was a sore throat and eventually he ended up sleeping most of his day away. He had thoroughly fucked up his sleep schedule by doing so, but it wasn’t like it mattered. Not like he had anywhere to go, plans to make, people to go see.

Hop’s days were just four white walls, a television, and loneliness. Isolation until Leon came home, and even then, even with someone to talk to, another presence in the apartment where it wasn’t so eerily quiet, Hop wasn’t sure what was worse. His only other chance at social interaction was with someone he didn’t even want to talk to, but he had gotten to the point that he shut off all those thoughts and feelings anytime Leon came home.

During the day, he sometimes cried, sometimes longed to go home, sometimes wallowed in his own self-loathing, because how _fucking stupid_ could he be to allow himself to become trapped like this? How come he didn’t fight harder? He could have run away—Hop could have gotten out of this situation a long time ago, but he didn’t. The moment he realized Leon wasn’t going to let up on him with this creepy bullshit, he should have put a stop to it. He should have told someone—

_But look what happened with Mum._

His chest tightened and nausea poured into the pit of his stomach. Of course, if Mum had blamed him for this, surely everyone else would too? He knew he idolized Leon from the get go, so who in their right mind would ever believe him if he told them he never wanted this? Everyone knew he thought the world of Leon, so why would he go from thinking Leon was a god to suddenly trying to defame him? Nobody, not even their mum, would be on his side, and Hop knew that. It had already happened.

Mum should have been on his side, but she blamed him for it. That must have meant this entire thing was his fault, so really—Hop had no right to feel sorry for himself when he had dug this hole. Maybe if he hadn’t thought Leon was so perfect and could do no wrong before, maybe if he hadn’t idolized him like he had, maybe if he hadn’t made such a big deal to everyone how great he was—because Hop was just proud to be the little brother to such a great champion. He wanted to brag to everyone how cool Leon was, how amazing he was, Hop wanted to be just like him.

He wanted—

Tears formed at the corner of his eyes, but Hop tried to wiped them away with no luck. They fell anyway.

He just wanted to go home. No matter what he said to Leon, how much he insisted he hated this, Leon kept on. He never stopped, and he would never ever stop, no matter what Hop said to him, how many times he said no, pushed him away, and rejected him, Leon wouldn’t listen to him. But, what if he really was in denial? What if he was just lying to himself, because Leon had been right all along and he was embarrassed that he was attracted to his older brother?

What if all the admiration, all those times he watched Leon’s matches, all the books and magazines and DVD’s he collected were to cover up the fact that he really _did_ have stronger feelings for him? The thought made him recoil in disgust, but he often sat there by himself in his room, ruminating, because maybe this entire thing was his fault anyway. Maybe Leon wouldn’t have done this to him if Hop hadn’t been so loud and obnoxious about how he looked up to him. If anything, Leon got the wrong idea, but Hop tried to tell himself so many times it was just because he was proud of him. He just wanted to be like him because he looked up to him.

The tears continued to fall.

He never…

He never wanted this to happen. He never meant for Leon to get the wrong idea that all this time, he had held some deeper meaning to his idolization. It wasn’t anything more than Hop being an overzealous fanboy, but what if it was true? What if he really _did_ harbor deeper feelings for Leon? What if all this time, his admiration was only a coverup for it?

It—

Hop swallowed, his face gushing heat when he thought of these things. He had spent so long denying it anytime Leon said it to him, he spent so long telling himself, trying his hardest to continue to convince himself that Leon was wrong. He never had those feelings, he knew—he _knew_ he didn’t. His love for Leon had only ever been familial. He didn’t love him that way, not the way Leon loved him.

But, maybe it would have been better if he had. If he forced himself to like this, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much down the road. Leon planned to fly them off to another region where nobody would know anything, and Hop feared staying in isolation with his brother for the rest of his life, but if he accepted it now—if he forced himself to like this, and to convince himself that maybe he _did_ love Leon like that—maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much. Maybe he could get used to it.

After all—

He lifted his head, the telly still droning, still mind-numbing in the backdrop as he allowed his gaze to fix unfocused to the screen. After all, he had already fucked up enough to allow this to happen to himself. He didn’t try harder to fight. He didn’t try harder to run away. Hop knew he was to blame for this happening, because—none of this would have happened if he’d just reciprocated Leon’s feelings. If he had gone along with him from the start, he wouldn’t be here right now. He wouldn’t be locked in his room, his brother about to whisk him away somewhere entirely, and he wouldn’t be crying.

So why—why couldn’t he just like it? Why couldn’t he shut off his stupid mind when Leon touched him, when he kissed him, when he said he loved him—why the fuck couldn’t Hop just sit there and like it? Each and every time, it made him feel sick to his stomach. Every time Leon said he loved him, it was as though he were suffocating him with his words alone. Hop was going insane, Hop hated those words most of all—something that was meant to be comforting and warm only felt as though Leon were stabbing him with a knife every time he said it to him.

Hop sighed, gaze falling back to the floor when he flicked the telly off. There was no point in having it on when he couldn’t even bring himself to watch it.

He was just so _dirty_. Dirty and tainted. Even if he had managed to save himself before, nobody was ever going to look at him the same if they knew he had slept with his own brother. People would shun him, call him disgusting, tell him what a piece of garbage he really was—and really, who could blame them? Hop _was_ a piece of garbage. What kind of fucking idiot let this happen to themselves? How could he have possibly fucked up _this_ bad? Honestly, this was probably for the best, having Leon take him away. At least if he was alone, he wouldn’t have to face people and deal with the inevitable fact they would know what he’d done. Nobody would know how disgusting he really was. He would never have to face the fact he’d allowed this to happen to himself in the first place.

The front door rattled when the bolt was turned, snapping Hop out of his thoughts. He couldn’t have possibly been spaced out for _that_ long, but he wondered if Leon had simply forgotten something for him to be back this early, but the hairs on his arm stood up straight when he heard much heavier footsteps than those of his brother come barreling through the door.

Just from the way the sounds of their steps echoed through the room let Hop know this wasn’t Leon. He had heard his brother come through that door one too many times to memorize exactly what it sounded like when he walked—and this was definitely not him. They were too heavy, the person walking with a bit more of a shuffle than Leon’s wider strides, and Hop froze as the sound got closer and closer. At first, he though maybe someone had broken in, but that thought immediately flew out the window, because why had they unlocked the door as though they had a key? Hop had become way too tuned to sounds like this around the apartment, being locked up all day, but he noticed things like this way well by this point.

He was about to call out, a tiny flutter in his chest making him think this was someone here to investigate—maybe a concerned neighbor finally heard too much ruckus and called the police or something, but just when he was about to open his mouth and call out—the person spoke, more to themselves.

“The hell?”

And the sound of that voice alone—Hop knew. He recognized it as Raihan’s voice, and for some reason he couldn’t quite figure out himself, his blood ran cold. Leon had told him before that Raihan was way worse, way more depraved than him, and that he was interested in sleeping with him, and while Hop had every right to believe Leon was full of shit, he still couldn’t help the way he froze up, because _what if_ that was true? Just what if Raihan really was some closet pervert, a closet pervert way, way worse than his brother? What if he was coming in here to hurt him because he saw Leon leave? As much as Hop hadn’t wanted to believe him, a lot of the things Leon said to him ended up becoming true, and he froze there on his bed.

When the chain rattled and unhooked, Hop couldn’t help but jump from bed, his instincts taking over then and his first thought was to _get the fuck up and hide_. He didn’t know why his fear pulled him up, because he had no reason to be scared of Raihan as the guy hadn’t so much as laid a finger on him—but what the fuck did that matter?

He used to think the same of Leon. Look where that landed him. He had absolutely no reason to trust Raihan, no matter how nice he might have been—Hop couldn’t even trust his own brother anymore. The one person he didn’t think was capable of doing all the awful shit he had done— _but that was Hop’s fault, wasn’t it?_

With the fear causing his heart to race, his stomach plummet, and his palms to shake, Hop jolted up as he made to either dive under the bed before he could yank that door open, or hide in his closet, panic taking over and his rationale all but disappeared, but his strength still wasn’t completely returned on that side of his body. Out of pure instinct, he had stepped on his right foot, but his muscles caved, even with adrenaline coursing through his veins, Hop stumbled when his leg couldn’t hold his weight and he tripped, toppling over right before he could even stand, landing on his hands and knees. He inadvertently let out a yelp when he stumbled, knowing Raihan had heard him from the other side of that door and it wouldn’t matter if he tried to bail and run at this point.

He wanted to swear at himself for being so fucking stupid to push all his weight on his weak leg like that, but when his bedroom door opened, Raihan blocking the doorway when he did so, giving Hop no opportunity to stand and recover, he stared down at him in utter shock, Hop all but becoming completely petrified with fear. He froze, still as a statue as Raihan looked down at him, and every one of his instincts failed on him. He couldn’t move, couldn’t scream, couldn’t even think. All he could do was stare right back at him.

_What if he hurt him?_

Cold sweat formed at the base of his neck, Hop only able to stare up at him on all fours. If Raihan really wanted, he could just do it. He was much bigger than Leon, much taller, and Hop had no doubt he was much faster as well. There was nowhere for him to run, nowhere to hide, and if Leon had told him any ounce of the truth with saying Raihan wanted to fuck him—then Hop knew he would have no chance, absolutely no chance to fight him off. Leon was one thing, but if he couldn’t save himself from his own brother, there was no fucking way he would be able to fight Raihan off.

His arms began to tremble as he continued supporting himself on his hands and knees. While he wanted to stand and scream, call out for help, Hop couldn’t bring himself to do any of those things. Part of him was afraid if he did attempt to cry for help, Raihan would forcibly silence him, and Hop dreaded to think of what exactly that might entail. But—

“ _Please_.” The sound of Raihan’s voice made Hop’s stomach flip and his heart only pounded harder until it was one of the only sounds he could hear then. His palms were so damn sweaty—why the hell couldn’t he just _move_? Raihan shifted, only giving him a harder stare when he spoke, his gaze never falling. “Kid, _please_ tell me this is some kind of kinky role play thing you’re into and that this isn’t what it looks like?”

Hop only gulped, not able to open his mouth and actually speak to him. All he could do was tremble as his weakened limbs were starting to give out on him.

“Okay, let me just try and articulate this situation.” Letting out a sigh, Raihan stepped into the bedroom, placing his hands together in front of him before letting out yet another sigh as though to steel himself before he lowered his gaze back down to Hop. “So, this is something you’re into, right? Like—you enjoy pretending you’re some kind of princess that’s been locked up? Big bro out there doing his own thing, to come back and save you?”

What in the _fuck_ was he talking about? Hop could only stare, his shaking arms and legs finally failing on him and he forced himself into a sitting position where he pushed his weight to his knees. He looked up at Raihan as he continued staring down at him, expecting some kind of answer, but—Hop didn’t know what to say. He really didn’t know what to say to him. The fear was coiling into the pit of his stomach, not knowing what to expect from Raihan and not sure what he should do, so he sat there, gawking like a moron while his brother’s friend only stared back at him.

Letting out another sigh, though not like those annoyed sighs Leon often gave him, but just a rather tired-sounding one, Raihan leaned up against the doorframe before digging his hands into his hoodie and he slouched. “You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to, but I gotta know, kid.”

Hop’s throat tightened, the sweat pooling at the back of his neck feeling so cold then. He didn’t know why he was so on edge, but he kept expecting Raihan to snap and lunge at him, though he didn’t know why.

“Did he lock you up?”

All of Hop’s instincts screamed at him to _get the fuck away now_ , but—he didn’t mean to break his stare and look down at his hands as he wrung the fabric of his pants in between his fingers. He could feel the heat rise to his face, and he wanted to cry, but he couldn’t figure out why. There was something so fucking stupid about all this—something so humiliating that he wanted to curl up under the bed and hide from everyone. Having Raihan here only made it more clear how vulnerable Hop was, how exposed he felt even just having his eyes on him—like he automatically knew everything that had gone on in this place the moment Hop stepped foot in here, even though that was crazy and there was no way anyone could possibly know that.

But.

Hop swallowed, beginning to tremble again. He feared Raihan growing angry at him for not answering, but he _couldn’t_. He just couldn’t say anything to that.

“Kid?” Despite Raihan’s calm tone, his voice lowering just a bit until it was much softer than before, Hop tensed, still not looking at him. But, he continued, even as Hop gripped hold of his pants, squeezing, wishing more than anything Raihan would just leave where he wouldn’t have to deal with this. “Kid, I ain’t gonna hurt ya or anything like that. I can understand if you’re scared, but I’m here to help. I just want to know what’s going on, but judging by the way this all looks, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say Leon is keeping you here against your will?” He shrugged, shuffling on his feet as he slouched. “Unless, he ain’t? I won’t judge you. I just want to know if this is why he’s been acting weird as hell lately. Guy hasn’t been the same since he brought you up here.”

Raihan may have told Hop he wouldn’t hurt him, but Hop really had no reason to trust him. Leon used to say the same exact shit to him, and look what happened? With the fear still very much pitted into his stomach, Hop dared to look back up at Raihan to see him still giving him a rather nonchalant stare, still slouched against the door with his hands in his pocket. He stared expectantly at him when he lifted his head, but Hop couldn’t say anything.

Because.

Did he really have any right to ask for help? Wouldn’t it be better to go away with Leon quietly? Away from Galar and to an unknown place where nobody knew who they were? Because, if Hop asked for help now, then Raihan would know. He would know how fucking stupid Hop had been to get himself in this situation, he would know how useless he was at saving himself—and maybe he would even blame him like Mum did.

Hop’s throat tightened at the thought.

Yet another person to let him know this was all his fault. It was the truth though, right? Hop had led Leon on with his fanboy obsession, Hop was the reason Leon let it go to his head, Hop was the reason Leon held him down and fucked him into the mattress, because he was too stupid to get up and run away. He had been too stupid to try and find a way out earlier on, and he was too stupid to stop himself from coming up here with him in the first place, so really. Hop had nobody to blame but himself for letting this devolve the way it had.

It served him right. Even if he told Raihan, it was fucking— _absolutely fucking_ humiliating thinking he had been this stupid to allow all of this shit to happen. Leon was the former champion, how could his little brother seduce him like he had? How could Hop have led Leon astray where he went so far as to touch him like that? Kiss him? Tear his clothes off? Hold him down while spouting off again and again that he loved him?

Hop’s cheeks burned at those thoughts.

It was…

Disgusting.

He was _disgusting_.

He was stupid.

So stupid.

So _fucking stupid_. And it was all his fault this had happened. It was all Hop’s fault Leon did this to him, and it served him right to be embarrassed about it. How in the hell did he expect to ask someone for help—how could he expect anyone to help him when he was too ashamed of the fact it had even happened in the first place?

Leon taking him away was a blessing. Hop should have felt relieved to finally leave this place, to finally be taken away for good. At least in a new place, nobody would know how disgusting he was. Nobody would know how humiliating it was for Hop to know he had slept with his _own brother_ and allowed this to happen to him. Nobody was ever going to look at him the same if they knew what Leon had done to him, what Hop didn’t fight hard enough to stop.

And the fact Leon made him orgasm every time—every fucking time they had sex—if Hop really didn’t want it, he wouldn’t do that, he would be too disgusted to come, he would be too embarrassed, but he always did. Leon always made sure he did, no matter how long it took for him to get him off, Leon proved to him over and over that Hop enjoyed it. So, even if he asked for help, he couldn’t deny it.

Tears had formed, and Hop swore at himself through gritted teeth. Even as they spilled down his cheeks, he could feel how hot his face was, how ashamed he was to be crying in front of Raihan like this—yet another sign of weakness. He covered his face, as if that would make it all go away, but he couldn’t hide. He couldn’t just make his body shrink as small as possible where he could hide from everyone, so all he could do was sit there, face on fire, and he cried.

Raihan pulled himself off the doorframe the moment Hop reached up to cover his face. “Whoa, kid, I didn’t mean to upset you!”

Hop shook his head.

It wasn’t him. It wasn’t Raihan. Hop was just useless. Fucking useless. He couldn’t fight Leon off, he could’t ask for help—and shit, he couldn’t even _kill himself_ properly without fucking up. The only thing he was good for was wasting valuable oxygen.

Raihan’s footsteps grew closer, and Hop was suddenly aware that he had crouched down next to him, until he felt his large hand on his back, patting him. Not meaning to, but not able to help himself, Hop jumped back, face snapping up to meet Raihan’s, but he didn’t expect such a gentle smile there, and it only made him cry more. Raihan looked down through a lidded expression, only giving Hop that small smile as he pat him, his touch just as gentle.

“Everything’s gonna be okay, kid. You ain’t gotta talk to me. You don’t even gotta look at me if you don’t want. But, I gotta ask you, and I really, really need for you to give me an answer. That’s all you gotta do.”

Hop waited, his tears stopping, but stained against his hot cheeks as Raihan continued to rub circles onto his back.

His gentle smile never wavered. “Kid, did Leon hurt you?”

The small voice in the back of his head was yelling at him to say no. No, Leon never hurt him. Leon never even put his hands on him. If he lied about it, told Raihan he really was just a piece of shit freak who liked being locked up like this and whisked away by his older brother, if he told him he was into it, he loved Leon, while the thought made him retch and recoil, Hop could convince himself eventually. He could train himself, just like he’d trained himself with everything else, to love it. He could stomp out the disgusting feelings until he was just the way Leon wanted him to be.

And then nobody would have to know how this was all his fault. Nobody would have to look down on him, blame him for it, tell him he was disgusting—because Hop already knew that he was. He already knew this entire thing was his fault.

Mum was supposed to save him. Mum was supposed to see what was going on, throw Leon off him, wrap Hop in her arms, and tell him he was safe. She was supposed to stop this whole thing, but—

All she did was prove that Leon was right. This was all _Hop’s_ fault. He wasn’t good enough to challenge Leon for the championship, and he would never be good enough—never.

Hop closed his eyes, the remainder of his tears spilling down his cheeks, until he could feel the heat pouring from himself. He was so ashamed of himself. He was supposed to stop this. He was supposed to save himself.

But.

He didn’t want to go with Leon. He never, ever wanted to go with Leon. He hated this—he still hated it—he fucking _hated it_ with every fiber of his being. He wanted to jump up, beg Raihan to save him, beg to be taken away, he really didn’t care where as long as it wasn’t here, he wanted to cling to the nearest person and plead—beg for help, for someone to please, _please_ save him.

Help him.

Please, someone _help him_.

Hop opened his eyes, his lip quivering as he looked up at Raihan who never once dropped his gentle, reassuring smile.

And Hop opened his mouth, his voice barely more than a whisper.

“H- _help me_ …”

Raihan nodded, never once dropping his smile. “I will, kid, don’t worry. That’s what I’m here for. Your brother’s been acting strange for so long, I thought something was up, but— _damn_.” He bit his lip.

Hop sniffled, wiping at his face with his sleeve, the heat still gushing forth. “I-I…I don’t kn-know what to do.”

“Don’t worry. It might not mean much coming from me, but I promise you I’m going to help you, okay?”

Even with his kind words, Hop couldn’t look at him anymore. He was so ashamed sitting here crying and blubbering like an idiot, Raihan probably thought he looked absurd, but that fear he had felt fallen into his stomach before was slowly disappearing in place of his shame. Raihan didn’t give him any indication that he was going to hurt him, despite his initial reaction, and Hop still was a bit on edge, but that was soon forgotten in place of his own embarrassment. To sit here like this, locked in his room, Raihan knowing he was here against his will—Hop wished he could disappear and not have to do this. This whole thing was so ridiculous, he should have been dealing with this himself.

“I want you to know something, okay?” Still, Raihan spoke to him like a parent consulting their crying child, but Hop didn’t particularly care he was speaking to him this way. Leon had already made him feel ashamed, what was a bit more going to hurt him?

Raihan continued, patting his back again when he did. “Kid, it ain’t your fault.”

Hop’s eyes drew up then, not looking at Raihan directly, but not staring down away from him either. He focused on the front of his hoodie, the tears stagnating in his eyes, but the heat from his cheeks was slowly dissipating.

“You hear me? None of this is your fault. I don’t care what Leon has told you, what he’s done to you isn’t right, okay?”

Hop clenched the hem of his shirt, teeth gritting. There was only so much he could cry, and he had already cried himself out, but still the tears kept filling his eyes, clouding his vision. He wanted to go to sleep and forget this ever happened. He wanted to wake up somewhere else, away from here.

Away from Leon.

But, he only nodded. Whether it was true or whether Raihan was only telling him that to calm him down, he didn’t know or care. 

“Alright, as long as you know that. So, come on.” Standing to his feet, Raihan gave him a firm pat before tugging him by the shirt as he stood, trying to get Hop to stand with him. “Let’s get out of here already.”

Hop’s heart pounded. “Wh…what?” He stumbled as he stood, his weakened leg still struggling to support his weight when he forgot to shift to his other leg, but Raihan caught him by the arm when he tripped over himself a second time, bring him back up before he could fall.

“I’m gettin’ you outta here.” Another soft smile as Raihan tugged him along.

“No!” With his face flushed again, Hop panicked, he straight up panicked again as he pulled against Raihan who whipped around at him in confusion.

“What’s wrong?”

“I—” Hop bit his lip, face feeling heated all over again as he shifted his gaze around, not sure why the hell he was freaking out like this, but he couldn’t stop thinking of Leon coming home to an empty bedroom. He could only imagine what his reaction would be, and how quickly he would tear apart the city to find him. Hop’s legs began to shake. “H-he’ll come after me.” It was so embarrassing to say it like that, but it was true. His face gushed red, and he couldn’t even look at Raihan anymore. He probably thought he was so stupid for this.

“Nah, I won’t let that happen.”

Hop looked up, Raihan giving him a wink before grinning at him.

“Never you fear, kid. I came here to help you, so that’s what I’m gonna do. Don’t worry about Leon, I’ll go talk to him.”

Hop couldn’t help but grow stiff at that. Nothing in the world would ever convince him that Leon could be reasoned with.

Raihan noticed. “Relax, I can be very persuasive. Point being, I’ll find him, talk with him, and we get you taken care of. Sound good?”

It all sounded too good to be true, but Hop couldn’t imagine any kind of conversation with Leon going in a pleasant direction. Each and every time he tried to reason with him, it only resulted in heartache on his end. But, maybe Raihan knew something he didn’t—maybe Leon would listen to him?

He didn’t have much hope, but he didn’t really have anything to lose by putting faith in Raihan. Honestly, if Raihan got him out of here, got him away from Leon for even five minutes, it would be a hell of a lot more than Hop had ever gotten. So, really there wasn’t anything worse Leon could do to him if he came after him than what he had already done and planned to do.

With his heart thumping so loud in his ears, Hop gave a small, rather skeptical nod.

Seeming satisfied with that, Raihan gave him another toothy grin before fishing his phone from his hoodie pocket. “Right, just lemme make a quick call and we can skedaddle.” Hop watched him in fixed fascination as whoever he was calling picked up on the first ring and Raihan spoke to them as though conversing with an old friend, seeming way too relaxed considering how dire the situation was. “Wanna meet us at the apartment complex? Yeah. Yep—I got him. He’s okay. Yep, see you in a bit.” In one quick motion, Raihan pocketed his phone before he held his hand out for Hop to take.

He stared at his open palm as though it would snap at him if he took it, and instead, looked up at Raihan, not sure what he should do.

He only continued to give him a soft smile, rubbing his fingers together to entice him to grab his hand. “Seems you’re still weak on your legs. Someone really, _really_ can’t wait to see you. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.”

There was a moment when Hop froze, not sure if he should take Raihan’s hand and leave like this, but one glance out of the corner of his eye, at his bedroom—or his prison rather, and he swallowed to wet his throat.

Was this really happening? Did Raihan really burst in through here by some miracle just to whisk him away? Hop wasn’t sure what to think, as he was still unsure that he would pull the rug from under his feet and reveal he really was the depraved soul Leon always talked him up to be. Maybe he was just leading Hop away to do something even worse to him. Maybe he would lock him up and torture him—but he bit his lip. He really had no reason to trust him.

But, he had nothing to lose either. Whether Hop trusted him or not, whatever happened was going to happen. And he wanted to think that anywhere had to be better than here. Than these four white walls, than this same bedroom day in and day out, than being with—

_With his brother._

Taking a small gulp, Hop tried to quell his worries, his fears, all the horrible thoughts swirling in his head, as he reached out and took Raihan’s hand.

No sooner had they exited the apartment complex, Raihan tugging along Hop’s arm to keep him steady as he stumbled every now and then thanks to his leg—than a small form bounded up to them, and before Hop could even react, flung their arms around him.

“HOP!” Gloria had wrapped both arms around him, digging her face into the crook of his neck, and squeezed him so tight that Hop thought she might suffocate him.

He was frozen then, unable to comprehend just what exactly was happening, but the moment she squeezed him, close to sobs as she babbled something next to him, Hop didn’t mean to—and he didn’t know why, but he held up his arms, pushing against her with his palms until she was thrown off him, and he stood there struggling to breathe.

“D-don’t…” His throat was tight, way too tight that he felt like every breath he took was a struggle to gain. His hands were shaking and his face was on fire, but he had no idea, absolutely no idea why he was saying this. “Don’t touch me.”

“I’m sorry.” Gloria backed off, tears in her eyes, her cheeks pink, but she didn’t appear offended Hop had shoved her away, but even he could see there was some relief etched on her face. “I was just so happy to see you. I’ve been looking for you for ages! Your mum wouldn’t tell me anything and Raihan said you’d been with your brother.”

At the mention of Leon, Hop’s face only grew warmer, and he had to avoid her gaze when he looked off to the side, as though she would know all that had happened simply from a glance. It was stupid, but he couldn’t help to cave in on himself, because what would she think if she knew? What would Gloria think?

It seemed like such a long time ago that he had feelings for her, and still did to a degree, but somewhere down the line, those feelings only became painful, until he didn’t know what he felt for her anymore. He still cared about her, of course he did, but he just—Hop didn’t know. It was humiliating getting rejected, and even more humiliating getting into the situation that he’d been in. He didn’t know what to do, or what to say. Every time he thought of asking for help, all he could think about was what had happened with Mum.

How was Hop supposed to ask someone for help when his own mother blamed him?

“Hate to break up a beautiful reunion such as this—” Raihan stepped between the two, Hop forgetting for a moment he was even there when he’d receded into himself. If he could just cover himself up where nobody could see him, hide away in the dark, he might could hide his shame. “But, I got some things to take care of.” He then turned to Gloria who had wiped the tears from her face. “Can I depend on you to take care of the kid?”

She nodded. “Of course! I’ll keep him safe.”

Raihan nodded. “Good. I’ll catch up with the two of you later.” And with that, Raihan gave the pair a wave, Hop not able to help but feel a bit like he was losing a security blanket as he watched him tear off down the street opposite to them. Even with Gloria here with him, Hop didn’t feel completely safe, and he didn’t know _why_. It was almost like Leon was going to descend from the sky any moment and snatch him back up, and he was paranoid as he glanced about, half-expecting his brother to emerge from the shadows and attack.

But Gloria gave him a soft smile, and he wanted to feel safe with her, he really did, but he couldn’t help but wish Raihan would come back. He felt so exposed, even worse now that Raihan wasn’t there with them, but when Gloria gripped hold of his arm and gave a gentle tug, Hop was snapped from his thoughts.

“Let’s go.”

He gulped, wishing he didn’t feel so unsure around her. There was a time before he had laid out his heart for her, he had defended her every time Leon spoke ill of her, he had wanted her to return his affections, and he didn’t hate her by any means. She was his best friend, she _still_ was his best friend, but—

There was no denying things had changed. And all Hop felt was shameful—shame from being rejected, shame from allowing his brother to do what he’d done to him, and he felt so embarrassed being around Gloria now, having to rely on her to save him like he was some weak individual incapable of doing so himself.

Because he was.

Hop was useless. Hop couldn’t save himself.

His cheeks gushed heat again, but he forced those thoughts away for now. Avoiding eye contact with her, as again he felt like she might somehow _know_ just by staring into his eyes what all had transpired, he willed the words forth. “Wh-where are we going?”

“Hammerlocke. Raihan’s been letting me crash there the past couple days. We’ve had this whole thing planned out for awhile. He had suspected your brother was doing something bad to you, but we just weren’t sure.”

Hop’s cheeks only gushed more. Did she know then? Raihan already knew, he didn’t have to spell it out for him, but he didn’t have to. Raihan was very perceptive, even if he didn’t appear to be, he gave Hop the impression he knew way more than he let on to people, and maybe it was simply to spare Hop the shame of having to say those words out loud, but Raihan knew. He didn’t blame him for it.

Gloria had to know too, but Hop wanted to think she was oblivious, not even sure why, but just the fact his best friend knew that about him made him want to recoil and hide away. It wasn’t even the fear of her blaming him for it, but just the fact it had _happened_. Hop had had sex with his brother, there was no denying that. He couldn’t even argue with himself that it didn’t matter because it wasn’t done out of love, or that maybe it didn’t count because he didn’t want it, but he still had _sex_ with him. No amount of denial would ever change that fact.

Without waiting for him to respond, Gloria tugged him by his arm, causing him to stumble and she blanched back. “Sorry! Do you need a moment?”

He shook his head. “No, just weak on my legs is all.” It wasn’t like he ever got the opportunity to get out and exercise anymore. Being barred to one room all day everyday had definitely taken a toil on his body. He’d gained more weight, not much, but enough where he couldn’t see his bones like he once could, and not just from breaking his arm and leg, but from the sedentary lifestyle, he had gotten a lot weaker in general. Walking anywhere got him winded more often, and he struggled to keep up the pace. 

Gloria nodded, giving him a soft smile. “Okay. We’ll go slow then.”

Once again, she tugged his arm, but a lot less forceful this time. Hop knew she was just eager to get out of here, and he was too, but that didn’t stop his paranoia from taking over. As they walked down the street to the station, he kept glancing around, expecting Leon to be there, or for the both of them to get jumped where Leon would drag him back to that bedroom once again. There was nothing he could do if that were to happen, even if he wanted to fantasize that Gloria would help him, he hated the idea he was inadvertently putting her in danger too just because his older brother was fucking crazy.

But, no such thing happened.

The journey to the station was uneventful, save for Hop’s anxiety when they walked by people on the street, but Gloria led the both of them inside, paid for their train tickets, and it was in no time at all that Hop was seated on the train next to her. Even as they took off, the train tracks squealing with resistance as they were soon on their way, the cityscape of Wyndon disappearing around them until there was nothing but green hills and open landscapes out the window, Hop sat there not able to believe this was happening.

Surely, this was some dream. Some weird dream where he dreamt Raihan had come to the apartment, busted down the door, and saved him, but this couldn’t have been real. He had been with Leon for so long, locked up in that room by himself for so long, that it felt like any other kind of life didn’t exist anymore. The only life for Hop anymore was to be with his brother. It wasn’t like anyone was ever going to want anything to do with him if they ever found out about them anyway.

His cheeks gushed with heat, even as Gloria, saying nothing, but her presence was comforting to say the least, even as she reached over to give him a reassuring hand squeeze, Hop couldn’t believe this was real.

* * *

By the time they reached Hammerlocke, Gloria leading him out of the station until they approached Raihan’s flat, the sun had set a long time ago while they were still on the train, and from here, Hop could look up and see the stars. Once they were inside, Hop not able to help but recoil a bit when the scent of cigarette smoke wafted in the air, he cringed at the sight of a flat much different than Leon’s apartment. While it wasn’t a dump by any means, it was very clear Raihan was not as neat and tidy as his brother.

It wasn’t like there was garbage lying around, but there were clothes and things strewn about, Hop noticing how there was a blanket and pillow on the couch, a newspaper flopped over onto the table carelessly, and several dishes were piled into the sink. Hop himself wasn’t the most tidy person, but he couldn’t help but think the sight of this made him want to clean.

Gloria snorted through her nose as she led him inside, closing and locking the door behind her. “I know, right? He’s been letting me stay here for the past couple days. Wish he wouldn’t smoke in here. I’ve done my best to tidy for him, but I gave up.”

Hop shrugged. “Not the worst mess I’ve ever seen.”

Gloria responded with a shrug of her own. “You hungry? He’s got some ramen lying around somewhere.”

“He doesn’t care that you eat his food?”

With a smirk, Gloria skipped through the kitchen, tearing open the pantry and pulling out a pack of ramen to show off to him. “He’d hardly ever _here_ to begin with, so I don’t think he even notices. Guy likes to go off and do his own thing.”

Hop nodded. “As long as he doesn’t mind.”

“Eh, I’ll pay him back if he gets upset, but I doubt he will. Wanna help?”

Not really sure what Hop could possibly do to help with boiling ramen, he shuffled over next to her, leaning against the counter where he could shift his weight if needed before filling a pot with water as she grabbed a few bowls from the cabinet.

“Hop, I’m so glad you’re okay. I’ve been trying to reach you for months, but it’s like you up and disappeared.”

His throat tightened a bit, but he swallowed down his guilt. After she rejected him, he might have gone overboard and blocked her number, but it was just because he was emotional. He didn’t plan to avoid her forever, but—well. Look what happened. He couldn’t deny it.

“S-sorry…” Even with his cheeks gushing heat, he avoided looking at her as Gloria took the pot full of water and placed it on the stove.

“I knew something was up, but I thought you needed space for awhile. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings like I did, just—Hop.” She turned to face him after cutting open the pack of ramen and submerging it into the water. “When you came to me in the middle of the night to confess your feelings to me, I don’t think you realized how frantic you were about it. Something was obviously _wrong_ , but I didn’t know what to do.” She stirred the noodles as the water slowly came to a boil. “When you ran off, I just thought you needed space to sort out your issues for a bit, but you disappeared after that.”

The guilt in his chest only grew, and he wouldn’t blame her if she hated him for it though. He had purposefully avoided her after that, because he was too ashamed to admit Leon had been right about her rejecting his confession. Wasn’t like it mattered now. Hop didn’t quite harbor those same feelings for her, even though he cared for her, it was like his teenaged schoolboy crush was over and done with, and he doubted he would ever feel anything like that for anyone ever again.

Not after this. Not after what happened with Leon. But maybe that was for the best.

“I was so worried, Hop.” The water boiled, and the noodles slowly broke apart from one another, Hop focusing his gaze to the pot and not at Gloria as she continued speaking. “I’m so happy to see you again.”

He swallowed, trying to will himself to lift his head and look back at her, but—

But he couldn’t.

He couldn’t face her. He couldn’t look her in the eye, because then she would _know_. Gloria would know all that had happened, she would know what Leon had done to him, that Hop had sex with his brother, that Hop didn’t try harder to fight him off, to get away from him, and maybe—maybe he really should have stayed hidden away from the world, where nobody would have to know. Where nobody would have to know of his shame.

His chest hurt.

He wanted so bad to tell her he was happy to see her too, but he couldn’t. Hop couldn’t bring himself to lie right now. He wasn’t happy about anything. He wasn’t happy to see anybody. He wasn’t happy that Raihan had come and gotten him out of that room, or that Leon was probably out there looking for him, having no doubt discovered he wasn’t in the apartment anymore. Really though, this entire endeavor would only be a minor setback for his brother’s plan to get them out of the region. Hop would soon be on a plane out of here, away from everyone, and maybe that would be better for everyone involved, especially him.

If he would just accept that he was utter garbage and move on, this entire thing would be so much easier. He wouldn’t be looked at with pity like Gloria was looking at him, he wouldn’t be standing here, leaning against Raihan’s kitchen counter as he and his childhood friend cooked ramen in his flat, he wouldn’t be feeling guilty that he couldn’t muster the nerve to feel happy.

Because, he was supposed to be happy, right? He was supposed to feel relieved he was saved, he was out of there, maybe Leon would never find him again, but he was supposed to be grateful they had saved him, but—

Tears threatened to surface, and Hop blinked them away.

He was so horrible, to feel contempt instead of happiness, to wish he had been taken away so that he wouldn’t have to face his shame. His stupid pride was on the line, and Hop was awful to wish he could have just saved himself from the beginning. Nobody would have to know. Nobody would have to get involved. Nobody would have to know he’d allowed his own brother to fuck him while he allowed it to happen.

Hop couldn’t do anything right.

Maybe he should have died when he jumped from the balcony. Maybe he should have tried harder to kill himself when Leon left him alone during the day. Maybe he didn’t deserve to be saved like this, after what he’d allowed to happen to himself. Maybe—

Maybe he really was as disgusting as Leon. To fail so hard that he couldn’t even get through his gym challenge, couldn’t even face his brother on the pitch after talking up so much about how he was going to be the champion, to fuck up even worse after that, that he allowed Leon to touch him, kiss him, whisk him off to Wyndon. Why didn’t Hop try harder? This was all his fault.

He couldn’t even be happy to be ‘ _saved’_. Because he didn’t deserve it. A person like him, utter garbage like himself didn’t deserve to have people like Raihan and Gloria come to the rescue and get him out of there. He just—Hop sighed, his stomach growling, yet he didn’t feel hungry anymore.

He just wished he could sleep forever at this point. The past few hours were completely exhausting, and he wanted nothing more than to curl up, forget everything that had happened, not just in the past couple hours, but over the past several months, and sleep.

The time they spent eating their dinner passed by in relative silence. While Gloria attempted to converse with him from time to time, she didn’t pressure him into talking, as Hop had mostly receded back into himself. He didn’t want to talk, not out of anger or any kind of spite, but he just wanted to exist in the moment, and take things as they came. That included eating, focusing on his food, on the texture, the scent, the heat, and the telly that droned on the background. It had felt like years Hop had just stopped and appreciated things like this, no matter how trivial, even if it was the scent of cigarette smoke in the flat, he didn’t mind it so much anymore.

It was different.

Everything was different, when Hop’s life had been the same grind every single day, when he had done the same thing day in and day out, to finally be plucked out of that schedule, he was soaking it up like a sponge.

It was closing around midnight and Hop couldn’t keep himself awake any longer. He often stayed up late, but with the events that happened, he was so exhausted, he didn’t care if he slept for three entire days. Gloria insisted he take the couch, but while a small argument broke out about who deserved the sofa more, she finally pulled out a sleeping bag, draped it on the floor next to the couch, before lying back down on it, insisting that Hop had to sleep on the sofa, and if he tried to get up, he would step on her.

He counter argued that he could just walk around her, but she insisted, and soon, Hop was lying back on the sofa, Gloria on the floor right next to him, and the both of them drifted off to sleep with the telly softly buzzing in the background.

The tiniest patter of rain was hitting the window when Hop came to, the first thing coming to mind being it was quite early in the morning. The sun was barely up, but it was light enough to give him the indication it was past daybreak, despite the cloudy sky making it appear darker, but that wasn’t what had roused Hop from sleep. Jumping a bit, he didn’t expect to see Raihan standing next to him, apparently having sneaked into the flat at some point, but he gave Hop a soft smile as he hovered over him, holding up a hand to his mouth to shush him so he didn’t wake Gloria who snored quietly from the floor.

“Shh, didn’t mean to wake ya.”

Hop attempted to lift himself up, but Raihan placed a gentle hand to his shoulder, urging him back down.

“Go back to sleep. Everything’s okay now.”

His soft whisper should have been comforting, but Hop couldn’t help when his heart pounded in his chest again. He couldn’t help but ask, because he knew Raihan had to know he was anxious where his brother was, if he was still out there, if he had to fear him pummeling down that door and taking him back. “Where is he?” Hop whispered back.

With a gentle smile, Raihan’s expression softened and he patted his shoulder again. “Don’t worry about him, kid. He ain’t coming around to bother you anymore. I got him on a plane out of here right now.”

The blood drained from Hop’s face, and he couldn’t help despite how Raihan was trying to shush him and coax him back to sleep, how he wanted to jump up and interrogate him. Just what in the hell happened? “What do you mean? Did you get him arrested?” His heart pounded even harder. If people knew that the former champion was getting carted off to jail, it would only be a matter of time before they found out _why_ , and his palms began to sweat at the thought.

Raihan shrugged, still whispering when he spoke. “I mean…sorta? He’s being carted off somewhere private. I can’t tell you where, but trust me, kid. He ain’t coming around here no more.” Then he gave him a toothy grin. “He won’t bother you. I’ve got people keeping this whole thing under wraps, but they’re locking him away. Nobody will know what he did to you, I assure you. Obviously, people are going to notice the former champion has gone missing, but we’ve already got that taken care of. As far as anyone knows, Leon is taking a permanent early retirement.” He shrugged, appearing smug when he gave Hop another reassuring smile. “Point being, he’s gone.”

Gone…

Gone?

Hop blinked up at him, not sure if he was even hearing any of this right. Leon was gone? Gone? Like forever gone? Never coming back? And nobody knew about what he’d done to him? Surely this was a dream now, Hop had suffered some kind of meltdown back in Wyndon and he was still locked up, still sleeping soundly in his bed and he was dreaming this entire thing up right now.

This couldn’t have been real, but he wanted it to be. He wanted Raihan’s gentle, reassuring smile to be real, his hand on his shoulder to be real, Hop wanted all of this to be real, he wanted to think he was worthy of being saved, that Gloria and Raihan didn’t judge him for what he’d allowed to happen, that they really were his friends wanting to help him, and Hop wanted—he wished and wanted with his entire being that maybe this meant he was deserving of freedom. That he didn’t deserve to be locked away for the rest of his life with only Leon for company. Hop wanted to think everything that happened wasn’t his fault, even though it was. He wanted someone to tell him it was okay. He wanted someone to tell him he wasn’t to blame for this.

But all he could do was cry.

He didn’t mean to, but his sniffles were quieted as he wiped his face with his sleeve, trying his hardest to remain quiet so as not to rouse Gloria from sleep. And he cried. He cried and cried, so exhausted, so tired of everything, not just last night, but _everything_ that had happened. Hop couldn’t believe Raihan was telling the truth, that Leon was gone, but he wanted to believe it so bad. He wanted this relief piling into him to last forever, to never go away. He wanted to believe he didn’t have to worry about his brother coming to take him away again, but—all he did was quietly cry, wiping away the tears that just wouldn’t stop no matter what he did.

Raihan reached over, still smiling at him, and ran his hand through his hair. Anytime Leon did that, he would flinch and cringe, recoiling at how invasive it felt for some reason, even though he was his brother, and he used to do that to him all the time when they were little, Hop had come to associate that with feelings of helplessness, of intimacy, but. When Raihan did it, he could feel the affection through the soft way he pat his head, the gentle, calming way put Hop at ease more than he had ever felt before, and he continued to cry.

“There, there, kid,” Raihan whispered, his voice lifting in tone when he chuckled a little. “It’s gonna be okay.”

Hop wanted to believe that. He really, really did.

* * *

“Where do you want this?” Gloria bounded up behind Hop with a stack of papers in her arms, looking over his shoulder for a clean spot on his desk.

“Doesn’t matter. Anywhere.”

“‘Kay.” With one quick motion, she set off the stack right next to him, being mindful not to cover up the work he was already doing as Hop had about two textbooks out in front of him, pouring over their contents through heavy eyelids. He had been reading for the past two hours and his brain was turning to mush at this point, but he still had so much to do.

Leaning back in his chair for a moment, Hop pulled his glasses away from his face, cleaning the lenses on his shirt before rubbing at his eyes. Gloria gave him a hearty pat on the shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

He nodded, trying not to let his fatigue show, but there was no hiding it from her. After all, that was one reason Gloria agreed to help him get settled in like this, help him get back on his feet.

Still, he couldn’t believe it had been only a few years he had moved to Motostoke. There was nothing more Hop wished than to go back to Postwick sometimes, but even after all this time, he couldn’t bring himself to face his mother. There was nothing Gloria could do for him on that front, but he didn’t expect her to fix his problems for him. Maybe one day he would gather the courage to face his mum, to tell her what really happened, and maybe she would still reject him, but he also didn’t owe her anything. It was painful, but Hop knew it wasn’t the end of all things if he never patched things up with her.

Sonia was kind enough to allow him back in the lab, where Hop could continue his studies, as he still had a passion for wanting to be a professor. He rarely had to travel down to Wedgehurst, but most of the time, he was allowed to do his work and studying from his Motostoke flat. It took a lot of juggling his work from here and there, but he eventually got settled enough where he could comfortably study, and he often traveled with Sonia for fieldwork.

It was hard work, but he was determined to study hard, no matter how difficult, this was something he _wanted_ to do, and he was going to prove he was more than capable of it.

Gloria often came by, mostly on the weekends, to visit the flat with him, sit and chat for awhile, eat lunch with him, get him out and about, but more often than not, she helped him with his studies, gathering materials for him, helping him with his notes and the like, or organizing papers with him, much like she was doing now. Even in the past few years, Gloria and Raihan kept in close contact with him, Raihan shooting him texts almost everyday which mostly entailed trying to get the both of them to come hang out with him. Hop had to admit, getting together with Gloria and Raihan every week just to go goof off had done wonders for the three of them. They’d become such close friends because of it.

He figured once they had gotten him taken care of, even contacting someone Hop could talk to about his issues that he occasionally had meetings with, he figured they would move on with their lives, but the two of them never left his side, and if they went too long without talking to him, Raihan usually got the three of them together to at least go out and eat. Hop wasn’t used to getting out so much like this, but it wasn’t like he was going to complain.

He’d finally started getting his life back on track, and while nothing was perfect and he knew it would never be perfect, he was determined to make something of himself instead of allowing his state of mind to consume him. He wanted to make a difference, he wanted to prove he was good enough for something, that he was worthy of recognition and not just a failure.

It was hard. It was especially hard when people began to notice Leon was no longer in Galar, but the rumors that began to spread were…humorous to say the least. Raihan had come up with the lie that the former champion was simply enjoying retirement elsewhere, but people came up with their own explanations. Some of the more outlandish ideas Hop used to hear was how Leon had become a hermit and lived in the mountains, others saying he couldn’t handle the sting of defeat from losing his title and left because he went crazy.

Well, that was _one_ way of putting it. Thankfully, Hop didn’t have to put up with too many questions on his end as he usually shrugged and said he didn’t know what happened with him. Because honestly, he didn’t. Raihan never disclosed his location to him, only assuring Hop Leon was somewhere he would never have to worry about him again, and sometimes Hop wondered if Raihan had actually killed him, but the one time he asked him that, Raihan had only laughed and assured him Leon wouldn’t bother him anymore. Didn’t answer the question, but Hop had learned not to press him about it. He remained tight-lipped about the matter even after all this time, and the less Hop knew, the more he grew to appreciate not knowing that kind of information.

There were still times he woke up in a frenzy, panicking because he thought he was still in Wyndon, because he thought he was still locked up in his bedroom, only to discover he was in his own flat, he had his own place, and Leon wouldn’t be bursting down his door to drag him away. Even after all this time, Hop still had a creeping feeling run down his spine once in a blue moon that felt as though he were being watched, like he had to constantly look over his shoulder to make sure Leon hadn’t made his way back to Galar and was coming for him.

He often dreamt about him, and sometimes he would wake up, depressed and wishing his stupid brain wasn’t so cruel to him to make him think Leon was still around, or that Leon had never actually done anything bad to him, and things were happy—but it never failed, and it wasn’t something he could control. He knew that all too well. As horrible as those dreams were, Hop had to pick himself back up and keep moving forward. It didn’t help to dwell on those awful things, but he tried his hardest not to let it get to him.

“Oh, by the way—” Gloria suddenly crouched down next to him, shooting him a wide smile as Hop placed his glasses back on, and he looked up at her curiously. “I know it’s still a week off, but I got you something.” At that, she reached into her purse and produced a small box with a ribbon on top. “Happy birthday!”

“Aww, thanks, Gloria. You didn’t have to do that.” Hop took the box from her, noting how there was a slight weight to it.

“Sorry, it’s not much. You’re so hard to buy for.”

He shrugged, popping open the top and smiled when he saw a little Wooloo paper weight for his desk. The swirly design on the inside sparkled when it hit the light. “Aww, thanks, I love it!” Pulling it out the box, he placed it over on his desk, the little glass Wooloo looking so at home like that.

Gloria gave him a sheepish smile. “Didn’t want to get your hopes up for later. I know Raihan is taking us out to eat then. He’ll probably give you something bigger.”

“I don’t need expensive presents or anything.” Hop shifted in his seat, pulling one of his books closed as he did so.

Gloria nodded. “I know, but we love to spoil you.”

Heat gushed to his cheeks at that, and Hop had to shy away from her smile. It was times like this he thought back to years ago when Leon often said things like that to him. When he’d go out of his way to buy him expensive presents, expensive toys, all things like that, in an effort to spoil him, and it never failed to make him uncomfortable, but when Gloria and Raihan did it, he could tell it was coming from a place of genuine affection, and he could never thank them enough for that.

Just having them be there for him when he needed someone put him at ease, and despite how stressed he could get from studying, Hop couldn’t have asked for more.

But.

Even during times like these, Hop felt a pang of guilt fall down into the pit of his stomach. His smile wavered and disappeared, and he felt like someone had just zapped all the energy from him. There was that nagging voice that never went away from the back of his mind telling him this was all his fault to begin with. He didn’t deserve to have friends like this, he didn’t deserve to be taken in by Sonia where he could study like this—he didn’t deserve _any_ of this.

And he swallowed, cheeks heated. Gloria noticed.

“Hop, are you okay?” She knelt down next to him, voice filled with concern, and he felt embarrassed he was getting emotional like this.

But, he couldn’t lie.

Not looking back at her, he nodded, but it was too stilted. “I…Gloria, _I_ _miss him_.”

He couldn’t help it. That was wrong, wasn’t it? He wasn’t supposed to feel this way—and maybe that made this entire thing his fault to begin with. What kind of fucked up person missed someone who used to hurt them? Hop really was stupid. He wasn’t supposed to miss Leon—he wasn’t supposed to think about how things like that never had to happen—but he did. He missed what they had. His missed his brother. So much sometimes that he broke down crying, but why did things have to be this way? 

But, Gloria gave him a pat on the shoulder, along with a nod. “That’s okay though.”

“Doesn’t that make me a horrible person?” Hop didn’t mean to let out a forced laugh, but his chest was too tight, and he feared getting emotional and breaking down, but he swallowed. “I just—I think about the person I grew up with, and I loved him—I really did, but—” Tears threatened to spring up, but Hop blinked them away, lifting his head to stare up at Gloria. “Do you think I’m horrible for missing that?”

She shook her head. “No. You aren’t a horrible person at all, Hop. Of course you miss your brother. He’s your family.”

“Family doesn’t mean shit, though.” His cynicism was starting to surface, but Hop tried to bite it down. Sometimes he often got jaded, but he didn’t mean to be this way. It was inevitable though, but he tried his hardest not to fall into a rut. “I just—I wish none of it ever happened. I wish I could go back in time and stop it from happening.”

Another pat on his shoulder, and Gloria gave him a soft smile. “Hop, what he did to you wasn’t right. You miss your brother, of course you do, but that doesn’t make you horrible. What happened wasn’t your fault, you can’t spend the rest of your life blaming yourself for his actions.”

He nodded, closing his eyes when he did so. “I know. I just—you don’t think I’m an awful person for it?”

“Of course not.”

Hop opened his eyes to see Gloria still smiling down at him, and she slowly moved into him, wrapping her arms around him when she did so. Hop held her back, feeling comforted by the hug, and by her presence. He wasn’t alone.

“We love you, Hop. Me and Raihan, everybody else— _we love you_. We’re going to be here for you whenever you need us.”

Those words used to hurt so much every time he’d hear them—feeling like poison curling into his stomach where he wanted to vomit, but not now. Not when Gloria said it to him.

He smiled, holding onto Gloria like she would blow away in the wind. His friend, his best friend never abandoned him, and never allowed him to feel alone in this, no matter how bad things got, she was always there for him. “Thank you. I’m sorry I still get like this. I don’t mean to complain.”

“Don’t apologize. Don’t ever apologize for grieving, Hop. We understand.”

He blinked away more tears, trying his hardest not to cry, but his tears fell anyway. It wasn’t out of sadness or any kind of anger, no. It was relief, Hop cried in relief, because sometimes he still couldn’t believe when he woke up in the mornings that he was here at all.

It hurt sometimes, but it also didn’t hurt. He grieved, he regretted, he often felt guilty, but as he held onto Gloria, having her shush him and pat his back, rocking him back and forth, he could feel the warmth in his chest as she held onto him, never once blaming him for this, never once allowing him to feel like he had to deal with this alone.

And he knew. Hop wasn’t alone.

Not anymore.

**_End_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I couldn’t have done this without all of you guys supporting me like you have ;-; you’re all amazing and I’m so happy i got to share this fic with you guys. Look how far we’ve come! 
> 
> To everyone who’s read, commented, bookmarked, left kudos, etc, thank you so, so SO MUCH. It means the world to me ;-; i can’t tell you how much all your support has meant to me while writing this. You guys got me through a lot of tough times!
> 
> And to everyone who has contacted me on twitter either to chat or to send me fanart, etc, thank you!!! You guys flatter me so much i really can’t believe how amazing all you artists are and i appreciate your hard work!! ;o;
> 
> Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you thank you. I love all of you so much. This fic would have never taken off like it did if it weren’t for readers like you. ❤️❤️
> 
> See you later!


	25. FANART

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A gallery of fanart I've received for this fic, for your viewing pleasure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i decided to post all the fanart I've gotten for this fic, for easier viewing for anyone who's interested in seeing it!

These first two are by **_@SwizzledA_** on twitter! 

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These next two are by **_@TheChicachi_** also on twitter! 

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This comic was done by _**@maxtheeggmaster**_ who is also on twitter and they draw quite a lot! 

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This one was done by **_@shamefulcafe_** I think they're locked, but they gave me permission to show the art :)

  


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These next few were done by ** _@mobburei_** (who also drew my icon! :D) 

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And finally we have a piece by **_@m0nstren_** from twitter!

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Thank you so much for all of your artwork! Please go and show these artists your love and thank them for their hard work! :D

Artists: 

**_@SwizzledA_ **

**_@TheChicachi_ **

**_@maxtheeggmaster_ **

**_@shamefulcafe_ **

**_@mobburei_ **

**_@m0nstren_ **


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